Jun rarely had nightmares. Her waking life had been so horrible, so unspeakable, for so long; there was nothing her unconscious mind could have thrown at her that could have been worse. This time she dreamt of the Progress, something she hadn't dreamed of in a long while. Her dreams were usually haunted by the faces of the people she had killed, not by her own horror. In the dream, her body once again became that of the Devilman; naked, muscular, with stripes of fur on her torso, arms and legs. Her tongue felt sharp against her teeth and she smiled at the scent of blood on her hands. Her eyes had been open for some time before she realized she was awake. She was staring at the legs of the table in her living room and, for a moment, she was completely disconcerted. Then she remembered how she had come to be here. She looked around, willing her stinging eyes to focus, and was surprised to find that the light in the kitchen was on, although the rest of the apartment was dark. Jun lifted herself up, taking in the open bag, the ingredients spread over the kitchen counter. She rubbed her eyes. Slowly, she also became aware of a soft noise that she could barely hear a noise that had punctuated her dreams. A pleasant voice was humming quietly. Akami looked up from the cutting board. "Did my humming wake you?" Jun shook her head, bewildered. "I don't think so. How long have I...?" Akami turned away, stirring something in a pot. "A few hours, I guess. I had to go out and buy some food and came back a little while ago. You don't keep much in the apartment, do you?" She shot an easy smile over her shoulder, which Jun returned unsurely. "I haven't had much occasion to cook recently," Jun's voice was gentle, but the girl responded by flinching. She laid the knife down and lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Jun-san. I keep forgetting." Jun struggled to her feet. "It's alright. I do too. It seems too unreal to have happened anyway." Akami nodded and returned to the meal. As the fragrance of sauce and meat and vegetables reached her, Jun realized just how hungry she was. As if in confirmation, her stomach growled audibly. Akami laughed. "This will be ready any second. Why don't you sit down? If you want some wine - I bought a bottle." She gestured at the table. Jun wondered how she would open the thing, but it stood all ready to pour. She filled two glasses with the ruby liquid and seated herself at one of the set places. All this and she had slept through it. "You must have been silent as a mouse," Jun said, as Akami approached, bearing two plates, heavy with food. "Not really you were sleeping very deeply. You didn't even move when I dropped one of the bags." The girl looked at her hard, her eyes glinting with questions. "I didn't realize how tired I was," Jun shrugged, unwilling to delve into the deeper reasons for her exhaustion. Maybe it was as simple as fatigue from using her arm for a full day. Jun lifted a forkful of vegetables to her mouth and breathed in the aroma. "It smells delicious. Thank you." Akami said nothing, but her eyes sparkled with pleasure. Dinner tasted wonderful. Jun had forgotten that eating could be so satisfying, that all five senses could be engaged with such a simple act. She ate with concentration, not wanting to distract herself with speech, and Akami followed her lead. When plates and leftovers had been cleaned up, they returned to the table and sat over their wine. Jun was content to sit in silence. She had always been a quiet, private person. Her short sojourn with Kazumi hadnt changed that perhaps it had even intensified it, as she had found herself with so much to hide from the girl. But she knew that silence placed pressure on other people, so she glanced up and addressed Akami. The younger woman was apparently lost in thought and Jun had to repeat herself before she came out of her reverie. "Tell me about yourself, Akami-san." Akamis face changed color quickly; that self-deprecatory flush that gave her away. "Theres not much to say, really. Im no one special." She shrugged. "Everyone is someone special," Jun said warmly. "Please." All of a sudden she was desperate to learn more about this girl to make her a separate person from the ghost likeness she wore too well. Akami shrugged again and shifted in her seat. "I was in college when the Fall happened. I was majoring in," she grimaced, "economics. I didnt know what I was going to do with it, you understand, but my guardians insisted on something in business." Jun smiled, encouragingly. "My parents let me come to Tokyo and be a model because they thought Id fail at it and come home soon." Akami looked at her in some surprise. "Really? But how did they feel when you succeeded?" Jun shrugged. "We never talked about it. They never said what they thought and I never asked." "Did they...are they alive?" Akami settled on the least painful version of the question she could find. "No." June shook her head. "But they have been gone for a while." Thank the gods for that little blessing; they were never alive to see the final humiliation of their only child become a beast, fighting at anothers command. Jun flinched internally. What was modeling, though, other than performing at anothers command? She began to understand, a little, why her parents hadnt really wanted her to succeed. "I dont remember my parents," Akami said. "My aunt and uncle brought me up, and gave me enough money to go to college. But my uncle changed when I was at school one day and I came home to to " her face was pale and her eyes closed. Jun was reminded, yet again, that hers was not the only loss. She cut in quickly. "At the beginning, when I was still new to being the Devilman, I had to fight the beast that killed my friends parents." She didnt say, "in front of her while she watched." "I bet she was grateful that you saved her life." Akami said, generously. Jun didnt respond. "So," she forced herself to smile, "you know all about me tell me your likes and dislikes, your dreams you know, all that interview stuff." Akami grinned back. "Well, my favorite color is red." She gestured at her eyes. "If it werent, Id walk around all the time clashing with myself. My favorite food is hmmm chocolate, I guess. I like nighttime better than day and I want to be a chef." She turned shy eyes to Jun. "Im in cooking school now." Jun raised her half-empty glass. "I have every confidence that youll do well as a chef. Dinner tonight was the best Ive had in a very long time." Her own voice was rich and low and it surprised her. Maybe shed had too much wine, but it felt good, drinking, eating, in the company of this young woman. "It wasnt very good," the girl demurred politely, but then the mischief returned to her eyes. "If you want, Jun-san, I can come back and make you a real meal. Something special!" Her voice and body were animated with the idea. "Maybe a homemade dessert and something fancy, like a carpaccio " Jun watch with pleasure as Akami took her acquiescence for granted. Why wasnt she fighting back, insisting on her right to choose her own path? What happened to her resolve not to do another's bidding? How had this girl insinuated herself so thoroughly into Juns life, so quickly? It was very late when Akami finally left. Jun had insisted on calling a cab for the girl. There was no point in letting her walk home alone. The streets were safe from monsters of one kind but there would always be monsters hidden in the dark places of the world. Jun lay in bed, questions pounding in her head like drumbeats. But the one question, the one that gave her a horrible anticipatory shudder, and more than once caused her to lick her lips without realizing it, was this: did Akami ever change? What animal lay behind those gleaming red eyes? As she lay there listening to the sounds of night, Jun whispered, "I have to know." Which made her wonder why.
Back to Afterword Index - Back to Devilman Lady Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction