Discovering Beauty (part 3 of 5)

a Card Captor Sakura fanfiction by James Brown

Back to Part 2
Later that evening, after Sakura returned home, the girl spent most of her
time inside her room. The entire time though, she laid down on her bed
staring up at the ceiling. Her sight was observing dead space with her
eyes watching nothing in particular. Somewhere deep within the back of her
mind, thoughts of herself and of Tomoyo were piling up: thoughts of love,
thoughts of confusion and thoughts of discovery. There were moments when
these thoughts would race through Sakura's mind and there were others when
they would be too much for her, causing her mind to run dormant. All of
the girl's questions had been answered except for one, and there was no way
for her to know how to answer it. As Sakura continued laying motionless on
her bed, her guardian, Kero, came out of the top desk drawer where he had
been sleeping for most of the day. He looked around and found the room to
be pitch black. The small guardian groaned as he flew up to turn on the
nearby lamp. "Sakura, did you forget to wake me up again? I'm so hungry."

Kero's attitude changed from crankiness to concern once he saw Sakura's
lifeless body on the bed. "Hey Sakura, are you okay?" Kero floated to his
friend's side to console her and try to help her out. "Hey is there
something the matter?"

"Oh. Hey Kero," Sakura responded glancing at her friend. "I'm sorry I
forgot to wake you up".

"Sakura, it appears to me that something's been bothering you since
yesterday. Is it alright if I ask what's wrong?"

"Well...sure, but I don't think you'll understand."

"Hey, I'm here to help, and I'll do my best to help you out in any way
that I can," Kero said in a calm, reassuring tone.

"Okay. Well, basically it's about Tomoyo. Yesterday after school, she
gave me a letter that...well, she said that...her letter said..." It was
hard for Sakura to talk about something she hardly understood at all.

"Take it slow and easy Sakura. You can go at your own pace."

"Okay," Sakura responded. She sat quietly for a few seconds, then took in
a deep breath and spoke once again. "In her letter, Tomoyo told me
that...she has feelings of love for me." Sakura stayed quiet after that as
she anticipated criticism from Kero just for saying such a thing.

"Keep going, I'm listening," Kero said, sounding a little impatient but
still williing to help Sakura out.

Sakura was a little bit surprised to hear Kero say that, and it was then
she realized that he could understand her situation better than she could.
"Well, after I read Tomoyo's letter, I was unsure of what to say to her
that I just ran off."

"What? Wait a second! Did you just say that you ran away from her?"

"Y,yeah, but I..."

"Sakura," Kero was upset at Sakura's description of her past misjudgment,
"when someone tells you their feelings like that, you don't just run away
from them and not come back to resolve the siutation! You're going to hurt
someone deep inside by doing that!"

"I understand that now Kero," Sakura quickly responded. "But yeserday, it
was all so sudden and shocking to me that I had no idea what to do!"

After Sakura's reaction of defense, Kero couldn't help but apologize for
his harsh outburst. "I'm sorry Sakura, I just wasn't sure how well you
understood the situation you're in."

"No," Sakura said as she let feeling of guilt engulf her. "Don't
apologize Kero. I deserve to be yelled at for what I've done yesterday.
It's all my fault that I'm in this mess."

"Don't say that. The fact that you want to resolve this problem the right
way shows that you're a caring person. So try not to take it out on
yourself. You'll get through this alright."

The little girl felt comforted as her friend patted her head, and her
mouth formed a small smile, but it wasn't large enough to show that she was
truly happy. "Anyway," Sakura continued, "I thought about the letter again
today, and how Tomoyo described her feelings. As I was thinking, I began
to feel something within me surface. The more I thought, I began to
realize that I also had feelings of love. These feelings I have for Tomoyo
are real. I guess I kinda had these feelings all along, but after reading
Tomoyo's letter and understanding how she felt, I was able to discover them
for the first time. But, I don't even see how all of this is possible."

"What do you mean by that?" Kero asked.

"It, it just doesn't sound right. I don't understand how any of this can
be normal. Tomoyo and I are both girls and we both share a desire of love
for each other, but when I think about it, it just sounds weird. I never
even knew that I could fall in love with another girl. Being in this
situation scares me a lot. That's the reason why I ran away from Tomoyo."
Sakura's tone of voice showed that she was starting to act hysterical. "I
don't even understand how the love between two girls can be real! This is
something that's been on my mind for an entire day and I feel like I'm
going crazy! It sounds unnatural and uncommon! Kero, I love Tomoyo, but
can this really be called love?"

After hearing everything that his friend had to say, Kero thought long and
hard to come up with a solution for Sakura's perplexing problem. He
delivered his reply once he believed he found the right choice of words.
"I can understand that at your age, you would find all of this to be really
confusing. Okay Sakura, I think I know of a way to explain this. Now you
know that your father loves you, right?"

"Well, yeah." Sakura was very curious as to what Kero would say in order
to help her out.

"And your father also loves your brother, even though they're both the
same gender. As you know, that type of love is not considered romantic."

"Right."

"Now, keep in mind the relationship between your father and your brother
as I continue. The love that your parents shared with each other was the
romantic type of love. The love between yourself and Tomoyo is also
romantic. If you think about it, there are different types of
relationships between the two genders. Many of them, even the one you have
with Tomoyo, are considered by a lot of people to be real love. I hope you
no longer think of your situation being strange, because I certainly don't
see a problem with it."

Sakura listened to every word that was told to her, and it took a while
for her to understand. She kept the relationship of her father and her
brother in her mind the whole time. At one point, she came across the fact
that since they were family, they cared about each other and it didn't
mater that they were both male. As soon as Sakura realized this, she
compared it to her relationship with Tomoyo. Her realization was that even
though they were both girls, her emotions of love mattered the most between
them. Sakura discovered that gender was not an important factor when the
feelings between two people were true. Soon, a smile came across Sakura's
face. It finally made perfect sense to her. "I...I understand. I actually
understand it now. Incredible. But, the whole thing sounds so simple now
that I've had it explained to me. I can't believe that I was just worrying
over nothing the whole time."

"It's okay Sakura. A lot of people have problems with this sort of thing,
but you've found the answer to this situation. I think you should be proud
with yourself."

"Yeah. I am proud, and I'm happy about it too. I didn't really think I'd
be able to...oh! I still haven't said a thing to Tomoyo since yesterday.
She's probably so heart broken, or mad that she doesn't want to speak to
me. Now what am I suppose to do?"

"Well first of all, I think you should call Tomoyo on the phone."

"Huh?"

"Sure. Arrange to meet with her sometime tomorrow so you can fully
discuss your feelings with her."

"Do...you think she will agree to do so?"

"If you ask in an appropriate manner, she will forgive you."

"Should I call her right now?"

"Uh...not yet. There's something more important that you need to take
care of first."

"What? Something more important?"

"Yeah. I still haven't been feed in a while. Could you please do that
first?"

"Oh! Hm. You bet Kero. Wait right here."

"Thanks Sakura," Kero said as he watched his friend leave the room in a
joyful mood. "Sakura and Tomoyo huh? Well, who would have guessed? Then
again love and life hardly turn out the way we expect it to. I think those
two girls are going to be just fine together."

Onwards to Part 4


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