The Legend of Zelda: The S Files

a Legend of Zelda fanfiction by KoalaKiller

(Timeline: Post OoT)


Another uneventful day had passed within the lands of Hyrule as the 
golden glode in the sky disappeared in the west, east, whatever.  The 
view could be quite beautiful with just the right cloud cover and this 
find evening a certain Princess of the Hylians was viewing this sight on 
her private balcony.

Though the young woman enjoyed the view of the setting sun, other 
matters were pressing on her mind, mainly on the young man who was 
currently making his way to her bedchambers.

How did she know this without her faithful guardian and loyal slave? 
Well she did have a great view of the castle grounds after all, it made 
for a nice place to perv.

He's taking his time coming up here though, thought the Princess, 
tapping her finger on the railing while she hummed an-too familiar 
theme.

Probably ran into her on the way up, she nodded to herself, and knowing 
her she'll try to convince him again that his actions tonight won't be a 
good idea.

The 'her' as the blonde had put it, was the Princess's new personal 
assistant and loyal slave (Impa's words, not the Princess's).  Sadly for 
the Princess, she couldn't get her to work for her full time as the girl 
had other duties that couldn't be ignored.

And the reason for her assistant trying to stop a possible suitor was 
easy to guess if you knew the Princess's little dark secret.

And who was this brave, young and at times goddesses-almighty clueless? 
Well I'll give you three guesses and if you need more then just one then 
go play the stupid game again you moron.

*Knock* *Knock* Went the THINK wooden door.

"Speak of the cluless devil..." Zelda murmured to herself, as she turned 
to enter the main room of her sute, "Enter." She called out with a 
strong voice, those damn think stone walls were great for certain things 
but they did their job too well at times...

The creek of the chamber door opening and then closing greeted her 
pointy ears as she sat down on the edge of the large bed, her hands 
smoothing out the fabric of her royal robe.

"So you've finally gotten enough courage to come to my chamber after all 
this time, Hero?" The Princess stared up at the young man, suited in his 
classic green garb but for once without any pointy objects strapped to 
his person, "though I'm guessing she gave you a hard time in getting you 
to retrack your claim you made last month to me."

"Well Princess," He licked his lips nervously, his eyes unable to stop 
from scanning Zelda's figure from top to bottom, "I told her I had made 
up my mind now that everything had settled down after all the rebuilding 
and stuff." He had noted that the soon-to-be Queen was very calm about 
what was, well hopefully, to come tonight.

"Even though after all the pain my quest put you through? Not to mention 
the lost years that you will never regain now that the door to the Past 
is closed?" She raised an golden eyebrow, wanting to know if he truly 
wanted to do this.

And the little secret she held? That was another story (No, its in this 
story!) altogether which would prove to be a little... sticky to handle.

Standing now in front of the woman, Link looked down at her slim figure, 
frowning as he thought on those topics, "I've never been one to hate 
people, Zelda.  What you did was what you thought was for the best.  
Though some of the things I went through will haunt me forever." He then 
put his hands on her shoulders, finishing off with, "But Hyrule needs 
two strong rulers now and if you let me I'll be at your side to help put 
this land back together." Well, he thought, minus a few pieces here and 
there....

Well he is pretty serious about this choice of his, thought the Princess 
as she stared into his blue eyes, though the true test is yet to come...

"Alright Link, I accept your offer though first...." She stood up, their 
bodies touching lightly, "There is one more thing I think you should 
know about myself that only one or two others know about." Then see if 
you still want to be King after that, Fairy Boy.  Zelda had to smile at 
those two last words as she opened the front of her robe and exposed her 
modest bosom to the Hero.

"Whoa!" Link gasped as she took one of his hands and placed it on one of 
her pale, perky breasts, "you move fast... but what is this secret 
you've been hiding?" The young man couldn't help but sink his fingers 
gently into the firm boob, enjoying the feel of it in his hand.

"My secret..." She whrispered as she took his other hand and placed it 
on her stomach, "is down there." She moaned as the Hero applied more 
pressure to her tit.

Link let the Princess drag his other hand down her body knowing where it 
was going, but the Hero was quickly in for a BIG surprise once it had 
reached its goal.

"So what do you think of that?" She murmured to him as his hand grasped 
onto an object that shouldn't be down there.

"What the..!?!" He found his hand wrapping around something that he 
recognise but was stunned to find it between Zelda's legs. "Wha!!!"

"Now you know why I've been so reluctant to find a suitor." Hummed the 
Princess in pleasure as she enjoyed the way Link seemed to grope her 
groin in a mad panicked sort of way, "and no, you'll not going to find 
it or anything else female I'm sad to say." Zelda sighed.

Finally letting go of the fleshly rod, and stepping back a pace, Link 
just stood there stunned while the Princess closed her robe in front to 
hide her 'shme'.

"bu-bu-bu-...How!?" Link stared at her, his mind numb with shock and a 
possible case of brain-damage.

"It's a long and tragic story..." Zelda sat back down on the bed, 
sighing dramatically as she clasped her hands together in her lap.

"All she did was put on a silly mask that made her male but screwed up 
when she tried to reverse the Mask's spell.  So now she stuck as a 
freak." A feminine voice stopped any further storytelling, a voice that 
was very familiar to the both of them.

Coming from the outer room of Zelda's chamber, Malon Lon came into view 
wearing a simple form fitting dress. "And Link, you should've listened 
to me so you wouldn't be right now freaked out."

The Hylian Princess frowned at her assistant, "That's nice of you to 
say, considering what I've done for you Miss Cowgirl...?" She let the 
sentence trail off as she watched the red-haired young woman cheeks 
redden, "I doubt you would like to let your own secret, hmmm?"

"Let's just focus on one shocking development at a time, huh Princess?" 
The redhead moved passed the stunned Link to sit next to the blonde 
woman, "And you might want to take a seat too, FAIRY BOY." Malon lips 
curled slightly into a smile as she watched her old friend's red face.

'Wha...HEY!" Link shot Malon a glare as he watched the farm maiden 
lightly pat Zelda lap, "That's not funny!"

"Children..." Zelda sighed in annoyance, "can we PLEASE get this over 
with?" Both became quiet as Zelda cleared her throat.

"As I was saying, Link," The Princess continued on, ignoring Malon's 
hand on her thigh, "It's a tragic thing, really, that the only female of 
the royal family now cannot give birth to the next heir," She ignored 
the softly mumbled remarks from Malon and said to Link, "And as Malon 
said, it was a special Mask that Impa had given me shortly after we had 
reached a safe location away from Gannondorf." She then sighed deeply.

"We still don't know why the magic didn't totally return my body back to 
normal.  For some reason, the only part of my body that isn't female is 
my groin area."

Malon was about to say something, most likely to tease the Princess but 
closed it as she felt the heat of Zelda's glare.

"MmmMmm, okay," Link nodded slowly, "So in other words, you're freak." 
The glare was then turned on him from the Princess, a faint battle aura 
could been seen if you looked carefully.

"She doesn't like that word much," Malon remarked, glacing at the blonde 
woman, "I rarely say it as obviously it's a touchy subject when someone 
new finds out about her condition."

"And how did you find out, little red?" Link raised an eyebrow, finally 
starting to find his shaking hand had finally stopped, the same hand 
that had touched a certain fleshly rod.

Malon and Zelda exchanged glances at that question, both knowing it 
would come up but a little hesitant in answering it. 

"The short story of it," Malon finally spoke up, "I met Sheik the 
stylish Shiekah during the Imprisonment War, and well," She shrugged her 
slim shoulders casually, "I was I believe around 15 maybe when we first 
met and I was a lonely teenage girl and all..." She smiled at some 
distant, probably perverted if you asked Impa, fond memory.

Link just stared back at the two females in surprise, not knowing what 
to say to learning the two had been in a strange relationship for a 
number of years without him even knowing.

"Yes Link, your that clueless." Zelda couldn't help but smirk as she 
seemed to guess what was going through his mind, "and yes, Malon is 
still my bed partner even though she now knows who I am really... and 
what I am now."

Link sat there for a moment, his mind spinning and doing some lovely 
twists and loops as he pondered all the new information that he had just 
received, then suddenly and looked at Malon questionly.

"And that secret Zelda mentioned? Or was that it?" The redhead found 
herself twiddling her fingers nervously at that question while Link 
looked at the farmhand with a raised eyebrow.

Finally, the only Lon daughter murmured out, "Have you heard of the 
Legendary Bra of Serenity?"

Link just blinked in return, like everytime he hears something that 
everyone else knows about.

"Ask a stupid question..." Zelda rolled her eyes.

"Fine," Malon grumbled, "I'll give a little history lesson in Hylian 
mystical undergarments." The redhead seemed to hink for a moment before 
the Princess elbowed her to continue, "Right, well, the very first Queen 
of this land was a silver-haired woman named Serenity and from little 
that I can remember and learned of late she was a kind ruler who only 
was able to pop out one daughter.

"But as one of the few remaining records stated she had a.... little 
problem." Malon said with a slight smile on her face, "a back problem 
that was caused, by all things, her overly way too big for her frame, 
breasts." Link just stared at her questionly and a little impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting there.  Anyways, Her head sorceress for 
whatever reason, either requested or a gift, made this magical bra." She 
had to giggle a bit at the funny expression on the young man's face.

"Yes Link, she's not joking sadly." The Princess nodded, "you really 
should read up on the history of this land, even though many of the more 
interesting books were lost sadly."

"Whatever, just finish this Malon." Link mumbled.

"This special garment was made to fit a woman with modest sized boobs, 
like Zelda's for a perfect example." Malon smirked as she felt the 
Princess's hot gaze on her, "what the bra did was, when a woman put the 
thing on, if her breasts were too big for the cup then the magic would 
actually shrink the flesh to make a perfect fit." She paused for a 
moment then added, "and sorceress also seemed to add spell to keep the 
bra from falling apart of the centeries for, I guess, if any more Queens 
got the same problem."

"And so goes the story of the Legenary Bra of Serenity was created." The 
blonde Princess slowly nodded sagely.

"But," Zelda cut in as Link was about to open his mouth, "since the 
sorceress only made one bra, over the many years many tried to copy the 
bra's magic but for whoever did create it had made some type of 
protection spell to stop anyone from fiddling with it."

"But someone did, huh?" Link mused, getting the feeling whatever he was 
to learn couldn't freak him out anymore then he already was.

"Around hundred years ago, some unknown sorcerer got his grabby little 
hands on it and somehow twisted the magic."

"Reversed it is a better word to use." Zelda said, then sighed, "and 
sadly, I didn't know this until after Malon took the bra off."

"She gave it as a gift." Malon softly put in, "but she at the time 
didn't know about its more recent history and thought it woulnd't do any 
harm to me."

"Reverse..." The Hylian Hero pondered that for a moment as he thought 
back on what had been said, then his eyes lit up in realisation.

Reaching over, Zelda put her hand down Malon's back to reach the point 
where the ageless garment tied in the back and untied it.  As she 
removed her hand, Link's eyes popped open in wonder as he watched 
Malon's bosom double in size from a moden day B-cup to what you would 
consider larger then a Double D-cup.  Thankfully, the dress had seemed 
to be made for just this situation though the girl didn't have much 
breathing room...

"Whoa..."

With a tug, Malon removed the garment and let her now overly bouncy 
breasts bob around on her chest.

"And like Zelda, we haven't figured out how to get my boobs back to 
normal and," She glanced at the Princess with a frown, "I gotta put up 
with those 'Cowgirl' comments from the few people who are in the know." 
Link eyes had somehow moved away from Malon's jugs to the golden earings 
she wore that looked like, well, cowbells.

"Overall," Zelda had to smile at what she said next, "we make a fine 
pair of magical deformed freaks." Malon only sighed as she looked at her 
pointy nipples bonce up and down.

Silence soon filled the large room, the two women sat on the bed while 
Link sat on a nearby chair.

Wonder if he's staring at my boobs again, thought Malon.

I wonder if he wants to try me anyways, thought Zelda.

Damn I'm feeling hot right now, thought the both of them.

"So...." Link finally said, glancing at each of the two women, "how will 
we work this out."

Both Zelda and Malon looked at each other, the Princess licked her lips 
nervously as she could feel her member stiffen little by little, while 
Malon's milktanks continued to jiggle on their merry way as she 
considered the situation.

"Um, well, have you ever heard of the word, oh what was it again..." 
Zelda thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers smiling, "now I 
remember, I read it from an old book." Both Link and Malon looked at her 
questionly.

"The term is thresome, right?"

Link just looked at her in shock, Malon on the other hand looked 
thoughtful.

"I never considered that option but it could work I think," The redhead 
said, nodding slowly, "don't know anyone who's had one, getting a third 
partner is hard but since...." She nodded to Zelda who nodded back.

"And that way Link can still marry you officially, and not have to worry 
about you not having the right equipment."

"Yes," Zelda nodded back, "and since you don't mind taking it up your 
backside-" Link's eyes, which were already wide in horror as his future 
was planned before him, went even more painfully wide, "-we shouldn't 
have any troubles in the bedroom department."

"Um, excuse me?" Link finally piped up with a weak voice, "do I, um, get 
a say in what or who I sleep with?"

"No." Came the firm reply from the two Hylian women.

"And besides, fairy boy," Malon raised an reddish eyebrow, "are you 
saying being in bed with two girls... well one and half I guess yo 
ucould say, but being able to fondle two women and allowed to touch 
these two mountains doesn't turn you on?"

"He certainly can't be gay, not the way he reacted to me..." Zelda 
murmured softly to herself, thought not quite enough for Link or Malon 
to hear.

"HEY! I'm not g-"

"Then I think I'll accept your offer Link." Zelda announced, "and to 
seal this secret union..." She turned to Malon, who had a wicked look on 
her face, a look though unfamiliar to Link it was all-too familiar to 
the Princess of Hyrule.

"Oh this should be fun!" Smirked the redhead as she pulled off her 
dress....

Link soon found himself, with just more then his hands full for the rest 
of that evening.


The End...?
...only if your nice!

Author notes:
	Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Did I just write all that crap just then or am I 
dreaming again?  In any case, dreaming or not its been some time since 
I've released anything Zelda wise.  Its true I've been dabbling in 
writing other stuff of late but this little warped idea just wouldn't go 
away and needed to be written.

	But I'm guessing some of you are disappointed that I didn't go 
further and type some nasty lemon scene where we see what a Malon 
sandwich looks like!

	Right now I don't have any inspiration for a lemon part but don't 
rule it out, considering my past when it cums to lemons I enjoy writing 
them though sadly I haven't written a Zelda one yet.

	Time to wrap these notes up.  All suggestion are welcome, and if 
you review this I'll give you a cookie.  If you see bad grammer and 
spelling, then you know why I don't write so much.

~KoalaKiller
Start Date - December
Revision 1 - 9th of December, 2005

New Website coming soon.... as well possible chapters.


 

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