cbman's Note: This fic is definitely going down a different path
than Xenosaga Episode 2, hopefully down a better one seeing how many
fans found episode 2 to be a disappointing game. In any case, it's
time for the characters to head to Old Miltia now, but I'm afraid Elly
won't be able to join them after what happened in the last chapter.
Also, we get a small peak into Ziggy's past in this chapter (since we
couldn't fit it in the last chapter, along with more of Jr.'s), the
dialogue taken directly from the cell phone game "Xenosaga: Pied
Piper." We at Team KOS-MOS would like to thank Chaoslace and the other
staff at Zarathustra Stieg Allein (their website is
http://zarathustra.kaisho.org/) for giving us permission to use their
online translation of "Xenosaga: Pied Piper" for our fic. In any case,
let's get back to the story.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Breakdown
(Ziggy's POV)
"It's obvious that the U-TIC Organization's destination is on Old
Miltia," the Director of the Kukai Foundation speaks as he shows us a
projection of the planet. "The Federation's observation crafts have
picked up several coded transmissions from them recently, just moments
ago we have been able to translate them."
I make sure to pay attention to every word Gaignun Kukai has to say,
along with the others in the room. After several minutes of
explaining, I get the basic understanding of the situation. The U-TIC
Organization has been working in conjunction with the Immigrant Fleet,
or rather the Ormus Sect. Their goal is the Original Zohar on Old
Miltia, with it they plan to go through with their own version of the
"Zohar Project." Unfortunately none of us in this room know what the
Zohar Project is, nor are any of us classified to know its details.
What we are allowed to know is that the U-TIC Organization is also
unaware of the exact location of the Original Zohar, but they do know a
location that has the Zohar's coordinates. That place is the ruins of
the former HQ of U-TIC, Labyrinthos. Of course, this is assuming that
the systems in it are still running.
"For some reason the actions of the U-TIC Organization and Immigrant
Fleet have come to a stop at the moment," Gaignun Kukai continues in
the present. "The spies from the Federation Government aren't sure
what is causing the delay either. What we do know is that all of their
ships heading toward Old Miltia have stopped their courses
approximately one hour ago."
"So that would mean if we're gonna go to Old Miltia, this would be our
chance," the young captain of the Durandal speaks.
"Correct," Gaignun Kukai continues, "if we are to secure the Original
Zohar with as little resistance as possible, this would be a perfect
opportunity."
"It might also be a set up for an ambush," I add in. "I find it
strange that all of U-TIC and the Immigrant Fleet's activities have
suddenly come to a stop."
"I understand your concern, Ziggurat 8, but that's why for this mission
I'm sending the entire Kukai Foundation to deal with this task," the
Director explains.
"Are you sure that's wise?" the military realian from Vector asks in a
monotone voice. "Is it really worth risking your entire fleet to
simply recover some ancient artifact? It would suck if this whole
place was blown to bits, you would've built up all this revenue for
nothing."
"Ha ha, true," Gaignun Kukai slightly chuckles.
"You don't have to worry, the Durandal itself has been able to take out
several legions of Gnosis by itself," Jr. assures the realian, "the
Foundation should be able to handle ten times as much."
"We'll begin the operation in 1500 hours," the Director announces.
"I'll make an announcement for all non-fighting personnel to evacuate
to Second Miltia beforehand. The Federation Government has set up
several temporary residential districts for them."
"All right, got it," Jr. says as he and a majority of the room begins
to leave their seats.
"Wait a minute, what about Elly?" Ms. Uzuki suddenly stops everyone.
"Elly? Do you mean KOS-MOS?" MOMO asks.
"Her name is 'Elly,'" Ms. Uzuki corrects her. "What are we going to do
about her, are we just going to leave her? We have to..."
"Shion, you mustn't let personal matters get in the way of...," her
brother tries to explain, only to be cut off.
"What do you mean 'personal matters'?!" she nearly explodes. "Elly
just left the Foundation by herself, all alone, you can't just expect
us to abandon her after all she's done for us. Isn't that right
everyone?"
Silence fills the room after she asks this question. The question she
has asked is rather naive for anyone who has been on the battlefield.
Though the answer to her question is cruel, but on the battlefield,
the mission is what always comes first no matter what.
"Everyone...?"
"Shion..., KOS...er, I mean, Elly left on her own accord," Jr.
explains. "I hate to say it, but she's a deserter. Heck, she also
took that weird A.M.W.S. we picked up from Second Miltia when she left,
if anything that just makes it worse. We have no idea where she took
it either, the craft wasn't registered in any data banks. Looking for
her now would be like looking for a needle in a haystack in total
darkness."
"But...!" Ms. Uzuki tries to object.
"I don't like the situation as much as you do, Shion, but I'm afraid
the mission to secure the Zohar is more important," chaos explains.
"As much as I would also like to look for Elly, the fact is that we
don't even know where she went."
"I can't believe I'm hearing this!" Ms. Uzuki exclaims. "After all
we've been through together, you all..."
I take it upon myself to leave at this very moment. I have been given
my new mission objective to help secure the Original Zohar, nothing
else should matter at this moment. I would like to say that, but there
is something else that matters, another one of my few human traits,
pity, made me do what I did yesterday.
It was after MOMO had collapsed after linking her with the UMN. Dr.
Mizrahi had called me into her office to give me another assignment.
"You're asking me to assist in the recovery of the Original Zohar?" I
asked upon given my orders.
"That's correct," Dr. Mizrahi answered. "We would like you to work
alongside the Kukai Foundation in this mission, you will be stationed
there and you will follow every order that they give you as long as it
help us achieve our goal."
"I see."
"Once you have completed this mission, we will comply with your request
to remove all of your remaining organic parts. We will pay for all
expenses needed for this operation. Will you be needing any provisions
for this mission as well?"
"No," I answered, "but if you don't mind, there is something I'd like
to ask you."
"Yes?"
"What happened to MOMO?"
It was very unprofessional of me to ask such a question, and yet, the
question itself bothered me continuously throughout the day. She was
only supposed to be another completed objective, but for some reason,
whenever I was with her, I felt like she was much more. What I felt
about her, it was just like how I felt for 'her' son nearly a century
ago.
"The 100-Series Prototype is currently in a coma due to the failed
attempt to extract the Y-Data from her system," my employer answered
with an emotionless tone. "Our engineers have assumed that our current
technology will be unable to retrieve the data without having the UMN
being hacked into again, and so, we've decided to keep her
cryogenically frozen until we have the technology to retrieve the data
unharmed. She will be frozen tomorrow morning around 0800 hours."
"I see."
"Why is it that you asked about her?"
"...I was simply wondering, that's all."
"Isn't this unprofessional for someone in your field."
"...It is, but may I say something on the subject of MOMO?" I asked.
"Don't you think it's unfair to just make a decision like this without
consulting your own daughter about this? Doesn't she also have a right
to choose what should be done in this situation?" I found my voice
rising as I spoke those words.
"That realian is no daughter of mine," Dr. Mizrahi quickly spat upon my
response. "She's merely a copy, a cheap imitation of my Sakura. She
may look like her, act like her, but she isn't my daughter. 100-Series
Realians are nothing but shadows of my late child, even now I'm
reminded of her death whenever I see one of them, so don't you dare
think that Sakura and that prototype are one and the same!"
This was the first time I had ever seen my employer show any emotion at
all. Needless to say that I was a little surprised and a bit upset at
my own words. Again I was being unprofessional, but I just felt that I
needed to say what I said next.
"That's not what I meant, Dr. Mizrahi," I tried to explain. "What I
meant was that even though MOMO and the other 100-Series look like your
late daughter, can't you just see each of them as different children?
I'm sure it would mean a lot to MOMO if you can just consider doing
this for her and her sisters."
"...Just what do you know?" she asked after a moment of hesitation.
"Asking me to do that is like asking me to consider your current self
and your past life as Jan Sauer to be the same individual."
"What?" my old name immediately caught my attention.
"You think we of the Subcommittee didn't know about your past life?
Captain Jan Sauer of the Galaxy Federation's Special Ops-Police Force,
stationed on Abraxas, the planet currently known as Michtam. At the
age of 30 you were the lead investigator in the investigation on the
UMN cyber-terrorist 'Voyager.' Though the Police Force had ordered you
to discontinue your investigation on Voyager, you had disobeyed your
orders and followed through with the rest of your assignment. The
ending result was..."
"Stop it!" I found myself suddenly overcome by guilt. "Just stop it!"
"In exchange for our lives... is it true you'll bring peace to the
people we love?" memories of that day begin to echo through my mind.
"I guarantee it..."
"Sharon!" I remember screaming my wife's name. "He's manipulating you!
This is one of Voyager's mind hacks...!"
"Mom... now we can be with Papa forever, right...?"
"Yes, we really can... We'll never lose him again..."
"I'm happy, Mom. I'm really happy."
"Joaquin!" I screamed, my fist banging against the invisible barrier
that separated us. "Save Sharon! Sharon! Do you want Joaquin to
die?! That dream, it's a lie! You can't be happy that way!"
"Then let's go...," my cloaked nemesis said.
"Now we'll never mourn anyone again..."
The next thing I knew, a flash of white filled my vision. The flash
lasted no more than a second, and within that second, my family was
gone. No longer would I see their loving smiles, no longer would I
hear their laughter, and no longer would they welcome me with open
arms, all that was left was imitations of their limp forms and oceans
of crimson. In the center of that ocean was him, a man I once
considered a friend, the same man I vowed to capture.
"Sharon...," I remember how my body began to fall to its knees, my hand
sliding down the invisible shield. "Joaquin..."
"The ending result was the deaths of your newlywed wife and stepson,
Sharon Rosas and Joachim Rosas," she continued, each of her words
acting as a nail plunging into my heart. "Upon seeing the deaths of
your family, you committed suicide, and there was no sign of Voyager
whatsoever. Tell me, Jan Sauer, how does it feel? How does it feel to
be reminded of your late family after all these years?"
"Please, don't say anymore...," I began to beg.
"It's a touchy subject, isn't it?" her torturous words finally came to
a stop. "I'm sorry, but I didn't mean to go that far. I hope you
understand how I feel now whenever I see those realians."
"I understand now, but may I make one request in regards to my new
assignment?" I asked, trying my best to suppress the memory once again.
"...all right."
"I would like to request if I can bring MOMO along with me for this
mission," I found myself saying. "You and your committee currently
don't have any use for her, but for me, she... she would be of great
assistance to this operation I think."
"And what kind of assistance would she be of? Emotional, I'm sure you
can't mean tactical assistance; the realian's capabilities are equal to
that of a twelve-year old child."
"...yes, I would be lying if I said otherwise."
"I'll allow it," my employer said without hesitation.
"What?"
"The 100-Series Prototype is not the only source where we can achieve
the Y-Data," she explained. "The military realian that escorted you
here, designated name 'Canaan,' carries a copy of the data. We are
unable to extract the data from him as well, our systems always crash
every time we try to analyze his data banks. In conjunction with your
current mission to help secure the Original Zohar, we would like you to
assist in the extraction of the Y-Data from Canaan upon your arrival in
Labyrinthos' ruins. Upon his return to HQ from a mission fourteen
years ago, his systems suddenly crashed, his memory contaminated by an
unknown virus. We have concluded that the only way to bypass the virus
and obtain the Y-Data is to go into Labyrinthos' Motherframe and do an
extraction there. Freezing the 100-Series Realian Prototype would have
been a last resort to get the data, but the probability of this mission
succeeding is very high. If we did freeze her and this mission is a
success, we most likely would have just disposed of her anyway. Do
what you will with her, I'll smooth things over with the rest of the
Committee."
'Juli Mizrahi, what a cold person you are,' I think in the present as I
enter my quarters. 'Not only do you see your own daughter as nothing
more than a tool, you reminded me of my past that I try so many times
to forget. Sharon, Joaquin, I can't help but think about you nearly
every second now that I am reminded of you again. That day nearly a
century ago, it's as fresh in my mind as it ever was.'
I sit in my maintenance chair now, connecting myself to the terminal so
that I may put my systems on standby. I notice something on the right
arm of my chair, some kind of cloth material. I take the object into
my hand now and bring it in front of my face. It's a beret, the same
one I once wore when I first joined the police force nearly a century
ago, before my resurrection. This was the only material good I kept
after becoming a cyborg, I don't know why I kept it. It used to be my
father's, and I in turn was going to give it to Joachim when he grew
older.
"Mom, why isn't Dad coming home?" a day from my childhood comes to my
mind.
"Because his job is to protect the city," was my mother's response.
"He works to protect everyone."
"Then, why are you always crying?"
"Because Dad isn't coming home."
My hands begin push against the sides of my head now in an attempt to
block any more memories from resurfacing, but it does the opposite.
"Mom, what did Dad die for?"
"For the safety of the people, Jan. So that he could carry out his
mission. That's what a policeman does."
"I can't remember his face, Mom... I can't remember what kind of
person he was. Because he was never there... All I have left of him
is..."
"...this beret...," I look at the navy blue cap in the present.
I can't help but remember more now, no longer trying to repress these
memories. I remember when I graduated the police academy now. I
remember making a promise that day, a promise to myself. I promised
that I wouldn't be like my father; I promised that I would make him
proud as a police man, but at the same time, I promised that I would
always be there for my family, that they would always come before the
mission, but looking back on my previous and current life, that
promise...
"Ziggy, are you okay?" I look to the door to find MOMO walking through.
"Yes, I'm all right," I assure her.
"You left the meeting so suddenly that I got worried."
"Really, I'm all right, MOMO."
"What's that?" she points to my father's old beret.
"...it's my beret when I used to be a police officer," I answer.
"Really, you were in the police force?"
"...Yes, in my previous life," I tell her. "I was ...an investigator
for the Galaxy Federation's Police Force stationed in Abraxas, or
Michtam as it's called now. This beret used to be my father's. He was
also... a policeman."
"Wow, that's so cool! What was your dad like? Was he anything like
you?"
"...to be honest, I really can't remember. My father... was never
really home. He died when I was still young, the only thing I really
have to remember him by is this beret. I thought that if I could
become a police officer, I could grow closer to him and understand him.
I do respect him, but at the same time, I didn't want to be like him.
I wanted... to be there for my family, always be there for them, but
not neglect my duty as a police officer at the same time."
I stop my words after my last sentence. Again I am being very
unprofessional, telling not only my past life to someone, but that
someone happens to be an objective of a former clientele. I wish not
to say any more about my previous life, my attention now turning to the
hat in my hands. Still, there is a part of me that wants to tell her
more about my previous life, to tell her about how I lived and what I
believed in.
"It's strange," the young child breaks the silence after several
moments.
"What's strange?"
"You don't normally talk about yourself so openly, Ziggy," she points
out. "Ever since we met, you've always been so quiet, so serious, it
always worried me that you acted more like a robot than a person, but
I've been noticing a lot of changes lately. Whenever you talk to
anybody else except me, you still talk like some kind of machine, but
when you talk to me, well, you seem a bit more open. Remember my
birthday party a few days ago? I asked you to dance with me, and you
did. If it was Shion or Elly that asked you to dance with them, you
would've said no, right?"
"...I suppose you're right."
"There you go again trying to act serious," MOMO giggles, wrapping her
arms around my own. "Come on, Ziggy, you don't have to be like this
with me, I know this isn't the real you. You weren't always like this,
I know it, why else did you make that promise when you became a police
officer? Do you even still want to keep that promise?"
"...I don't have a family anymore, it's impossible to keep my promise."
"Then how about I be your family?" she suddenly asks. "When I'm with
you... I feel so happy. I feel like I don't have to be afraid of
anything, I can do anything, I just feel... I don't know how to say
it..."
"What are you trying to say?" I ask, her words leaving me confused.
"Ziggy, what I'm trying to say is that... I love you."
For the first time ever since I became a cyborg, I find my entire body
suddenly paralyzed and my stomach in knots. The numbness in my body is
replaced my a dryness in my throat and the area where my heart once was
beating rapidly, as if it were waiting for the right moment to thump
once again. The young child's eyes look back to mine now, a slight
blush of red painted on her face as she looks at me.
"I love you," she says once again.
"No...," a third voice suddenly enters the room.
I turn to the doorway once more and find the Durandal's young captain
standing in the doorway, his mouth wide open and his hands shaking. In
a matter of seconds, his mouth closes, his teeth now biting down on one
another and his fingers curled into fists. MOMO realizes this now and
turns toward him, a look of shock also on her face.
"Jr...?" the young girl addresses the boy in the doorway.
The moment after she calls his name, his hand meets with the wall,
leaving a small river of crimson on it after he peels it away. Without
saying another word, he quickly turns away and runs down the corridor
as quickly as he can, his eyes beginning to water as he does so.
"Jr., wait!" MOMO begins to chase after him. "I'm sorry, Ziggy, but
I'm going to go after him. I think he misinterpreted what I just
said."
"I know," I tell her.
"You're the closest thing I have to a parent, Ziggy," she tells me.
"Daddy died before I was born, and Mommy acts as if I don't exist.
When I said I loved you, I meant it, but I meant it as..."
"You love me as if I was your father, correct?"
"That's right," she answers.
"MOMO..., thank you. I... want you to have this," I offer her the
beret in my hand.
"What, but Ziggy...!"
"...please, just take it."
"All right, thank you, I'll keep it safe," she says, quickly putting
the hat on. "So how do I look?"
"...you look nice," I answer.
"Thank you."
The young realian leaves shortly afterwards. I begin to relax once
again in my maintenance chair, but just as a few minutes ago, it is
impossible. To love me as a parent, another very unprofessional move
that I allowed. It shouldn't matter, once this mission is complete,
things such as this will no longer phase me, but... For the first time
since my resurrection, I no longer want to go through with the
operation, I don't want to forget about my past, I don't want to forget
about my current life. When I look back on the recent events, I don't
remember any pain, I remember belonging somewhere, I remember coming
back to open arms, I remember... her always being there. I feel this
way because... Because... Because I too love MOMO, as if she were
my own daughter...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Shion's POV)
I can't believe what everyone just said in the meeting room a few
moments ago! I never thought that any of them would even think about
abandoning her, but...
"Go, Shion," I remember my brother's words. "You have no place here."
I couldn't believe what my brother said after I tried to remind
everyone what Elly did for all of us in the past. No matter how much I
pleaded with the others to support my decision to look for her, none of
them listened to me.
"What do you mean I don't have a place here?!" I yelled at my brother.
"I have every right to be here just as much as all of you! I've helped
everyone here during the last month, never getting in the way, as did
Elly."
"Shion..., I'm afraid you're brother's right," chaos spoke after.
"You're letting your feelings for Elly blind you on what's more
important at the moment."
"What do you mean 'what's more important?!'" I exploded. "Elly is
the most important thing to me, you can't just..."
"What you said just proves my point," my brother interrupted. "Your
emotions for Miss Elly are clouding your mind, at the moment, you
can't..."
"Clouding my mind? If I recall correctly, it's your fault why Elly
left in the first place, Jin!" I yelled at him. "When she ran out of
the Dining Area this morning, she told me, 'Your brother's a jerk, you
know that!' Just what did you tell her, Jin? What did you say to get
her so upset?!"
The only answer I had gotten from my brother was silence. He didn't
even look at me after I questioned him, his eyes simply closed and his
body very relaxed. Just looking into that calm expression of his made
my blood boil, making my fingers curl into a fist. It didn't take long
for my anger to reach its peak, because the next thing I knew, I found
the palm of my hand slicing across the air, my hand stinging after
meeting with the side of my brother's face. Jin fell out of his seat
after being struck, but I wasn't satisfied after that single attack. I
wanted to follow with another, but chaos and MOMO began to hold me back
as Jr. and Gaignun helped my brother back to his feet.
"Answer me, Jin!" I yelled as I was being held back. "What did you say
to say to Elly? What made her so angry?"
"I asked her about the 'truth,' nothing more, nothing less," he
answered, his expression still calm.
'The truth,' just what did Jin mean when he said that? Why should I
care, that idiot for a brother always talked about the stupidest
things! I've had it with him for the last time, and I don't know
what's wrong with the others. I don't care anymore; they can go to Old
Miltia by themselves, they don't need my help! I have to find Elly,
that's all that matters to me right now.
"Then does my request mean nothing to you?" another voice enters my
ears.
I turn around now and find a face I had been seeing more recently these
past few days. Red hair, azure eyes, a white dress, and a cross around
her neck, it's none other than Nephilim. I find myself beginning to
calm down as I see the child's face, her expression different from
usual. Her face is no longer wearing that monotone look, her lips now
frowning and her eyes nearly closed. I begin to approach her now, my
hand reaching out to her, only to go through her the moment I touch her
skin. I quickly pull my hand away afterwards out of shock, but the
child still wears her saddened expression as if nothing happened.
"Nephilim, what's wrong?" I ask, trying my best to forget about the
conversation I had with the others recently.
"Are you already running away, Shion?" she asks. "Do you not intend
not to go back to Miltia after all?"
"No..., it's not that, it's just...," I try to explain.
"You are worried about Elly I see," she says. "Is it because she is
your daughter, or is it because...?"
"It's because I love her, that's why!" I answer, nearly yelling once
again.
"But how do you love her?" Nephilim asks. "Do you love her as your
child, or as something more? Do you truly love her at all?"
My mind once again draws a blank like last night. The words of that
man in the red cloak begin to ring in my ears again, the words that
mentioned how Elly was a device used to fill the void of loneliness in
my heart. Elly's own words follow after, echoing at the same time as
that man's. Her words mention how pathetic I am, pathetic for how I'm
trying to make her with the qualities of a lover and family member. I
try to shut out each of these voices with my own, but it does no good.
"All you've been looking for your entire life was for someone to fill
the gap of loneliness, trying to fill the space your parents left in
your heart by being with someone, anyone that was close to you," that
man's words continue to echo through my mind.
"That's not true," are the words I try to use to silence the voices,
but it only causes them to grow louder.
"I see, it's just as he said," my lover's words follow after. "You're
trying to make me into something with the qualities of a family member
and a lover."
"That's not true," my voice grows louder.
"You raised her as your daughter, but you let your inner demons get the
best of you once more, using her to try and fill the void of
loneliness," the cloaked man's words continue.
"That's not true."
"You called me your little girl!" my angel's words follow next.
"You're disgusting, you know that! Trying to satisfy yourself by
trying to nurse me!"
"That's not true."
"Did you think you can fill the loss of your family and lover by making
a partner with the qualities of both?"
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs.
My knees weaken now and I find myself falling to ground, overcome by
the voices and my emotions. I find water beginning to escape my eyes
now, the rivers falling rapidly down my face. I still haven't found an
answer, but why? I never thought about this until now, so why, why am
I so focused on what they said? Why am I...?
"You must go to Miltia," Nephilim speaks once again. "Only KOS-MOS can
lead you toward that answer."
"Is that the only reason why you want me to go to Miltia?" I ask. "Is
that where Elly is?"
"I never said 'Elly' would lead you toward that answer," Nephilim
explains.
"Then Miang?"
"I didn't say 'Miang' either."
"Then, what other KOS-MOS is there?"
"...you shall see when the time arrives," she says. "But there is
another reason for why you must go to Miltia. Look."
The scenery around me begins to meld into itself now; the desk, the
bed, the clock, the walls, everything merging in a large black swell.
The swell begins to subside shortly, but the area around me is no
longer familiar to me. I find myself standing in a metal corridor, the
entire vicinity barely lighted. There are no signs of life anywhere,
just the faint humming of machinery. I begin to run forward now,
toward the end of the corridor where a large metal door resides. The
door opens as I approach it, revealing another door. More doors follow
as I run through the corridor, each one opening in the same fashion of
the first. Finally the corridor of doors comes to an end, revealing to
me a large circular room at the end.
The entire room is dark, I can't even see my hand as I hold it right in
front of me. I begin to step forward and the doors behind me quickly
close. I can feel each beat of my heart now striking against my rib
cage and my breath short, just taking a single step forward takes every
bit of air I breathe in. A small light suddenly flashes in my eyes
after, causing me to quickly shut them. I wait for the light to dim
for several seconds, my attention then turning toward its source. A
giant cross-shaped object rests at the end of the room; the object is
bigger than any skyscraper I've ever seen, the entire thing colored in
a golden yellow. My eyes begin to drift up the enormous structure, my
eyes widening more and more as my vision trails upward. Finally I stop
at the center of its points, finding another white cross, and in the
center of that cross, I find a large sky blue gem. I realize now what
I have been staring at, I've been staring at...
"The Zohar!"
"Yes," Nephilim reappears before me after my revelation. "Not only
does the Original Zohar reside here, but so does the request of
another."
"The request of another?" the words puzzle me.
"I want you... to release my sisters...," I am suddenly reminded of
Febronia's words.
"Feb's sisters are here?" I ask Nephilim. "But where are they, I don't
see them."
"Come to Miltia and you shall get your answers," Nephilim tells me, her
form beginning to disappear before my eyes once again.
"Wait!"
"Your answers... Lie with the Zohar and with KOS-MOS..."
In the blink of an eye, I find myself once again in my room on the
Durandal. I collapse to my knees once more, my thoughts now pondering
on what Nephilim had just showed me. My answers lie with the Zohar and
with KOS-MOS? What did Nephilim mean? What does the Zohar have to do
with me; up until this past month, I've never even heard about the
Zohar. And KOS-MOS, was she referring to Elly or Miang? This is just
so confusing! I...
A knock falls upon my door now, the sound nearly causing me to jump. I
find my body beginning to ball into itself now for reasons unknown.
Another knock follows and my body grows more tense. A third one, but
this time I try to fight the fear growing inside me. I make it to the
control panel of the door now and push in the code to open it, the
barrier slowly shifting to the side. I summon my M.W.S. now in case
there's something waiting for me outside, but to my relief, I find
nobody waiting on the other side. I breathe in a sigh of relief now,
and begin to turn away, but the next thing I know, I find a hand
suddenly pressing against my mouth and my back pressed against the
body of another.
"Don't move!" a stranger's voice orders me.
Out of instinct, my mouth opens once again, immediately closing on one
of the fingers of my captor with all my might. A cry escapes from
their lips after, my head launching backward immediately after to
silence the rest of their scream. My teeth pull away the glove on my
captor's hand as I push myself away from their grasp now, reequipping
my M.W.S. immediately after. I fire a single shot at that exact same
moment, the impact of the blast filling my entire room with smoke.
There's no doubt about it, but that shot should have taken my captor
out no problem. The smoke begins to clear now, but my eyes begin to
widen with the next thing I see escaping from the gray clouds. I find
a fist flying forward now, but I'm not fast enough to react to the
strike, the blow quickly connecting with my abdomen. My body falls
forward with the force of the punch, a burning pain now lurching
through my stomach. Before I can recover, another blow follows, this
one to the back of my neck. Things already begin to grow black after
the second strike, but I remain conscious enough to feel the sensation
of the third, this one being a palm strike to my face. I feel my back
immediately meet with the surface of my floor now, the entire room
melding into darkness once again. There is one last thing I see though
that has not merged with the rest of the scenery; it is my captor's
palm and the number "668" tattooed on it.
"Pleasant dreams," are the last words I hear.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Jr.'s POV)
Old Miltia, though I was raised there for the first half of my life, I
don't think I can ever call it home. Back then I never knew that I was
different from any other children, I don't think any of us did, except
him.
"Don't you ever wonder what's outside these walls?" Albedo would
sometimes ask us. "You ever wonder what life is like outside the
institute?"
He always liked to daydream back then, he was the weakest out of all of
us. I always thought he talked about nothing but nonsense back then;
all I ever knew back then was the feel of battle. Though Albedo often
asked us what life would be like on outside the walls of the U.R.T.V.
Institute, there was one day in particular I remember.
"Albedo, you should know the answer to that just like the rest of us,"
I told him. "Think about it, what's the only reason why we're released
from the institute in the first place? It's to fight a war, that's it.
What else could exist outside these walls except war?"
"That can't be all there is," Albedo continued, "there has to be
something else. Wars can't be fought everywhere at all times. I'm
sure there's a time, a place, where a war isn't being fought. A place
where you don't have to watch your back, a time where you can just
relax and not have to worry about anything. I'm sure of it, I'm
definitely sure that such a thing exists."
"You're such a drama queen, Albedo," Gaignun laughed. "You'd fit in
just fine with Citrine in the girls' half of the institute."
"Just what are you implying?" the mentioned U.R.T.V. suddenly appeared.
"Oh crap, Citrine!" Gaignun jumped after noticing her.
"If you ask me, he's too much of a pansy, even for our ward," she said
in her usual serious tone.
"Hey, just who do you think you are?" Albedo began to stand up for
himself.
"And just who do you think you are, Albedo?" Citrine retorted. "You're
supposed to be a Variant, but frankly I see it as a waste to have made
a weakling such as you one."
"Leave him alone, Citrine," I ordered her.
"Why are you standing up for him, Rubedo?" she asked. "A Variant
mustn't be concerned with such nonsense; actually, a U.R.T.V. in
general shouldn't think such things. Our father, Dimitri Yuriev
created the four of us to be the perfect weapon against U-DO, we are
only needed to think about the mission, nothing more."
"That still doesn't give you the right to talk to him like that!"
"You're just taking you're anger out on us because Rubedo was selected
to be our leader instead of you!" Gaignun followed up.
"Even if that is true, I don't see why you boys need to daydream about
such pathetic things," she retorted. "I should have been chosen to be
the leader of the entire U.R.T.V. Forces, the X-Stock are obviously
superior as opposed to you Y-Stock. My role as a Variant should have
also fortified that position. But we're getting off subject here, I'm
sure all of you will die in the near future with this kind of thinking.
Albedo, I'm sure you'll be the first one to die, the ideal world that
you imagine will get you killed one day. Nigredo, I think you might be
next, I know how Albedo's beliefs pique your interest. Rubedo, you'll
definitely follow after, Mizrahi's brain-dead girl is slowly tainting
your mind. I look forward to the days when I will attend your funerals
just so that I can spit on each of your graves."
U.R.T.V. Unit #668, Citrine, she was the fourth (and only Female)
Variant in the U.R.T.V. Forces. She was even more serious than me, she
was almost like a complete robot with the exception that she was full
of herself. None of us really liked her, she never really got along
with anyone, that's probably why she didn't get picked as the leader.
I don't know why, maybe she always thought she was in competition with
the three of us because she was one of only nine Female U.R.T.V.'s,
that and being the only Variant of those nine. I guess her predictions
were right for the most part on that day when we were all sent to
Labyrinthos, but she forgot to place herself before each of us.
"Rubedo, I'm scared!" I remember Albedo's reaction that day.
"Concentrate, Albedo, it's just like in training," I told him.
Our final mission was to eradicate U-DO, it had been stored in the
basement of Labyrinthos. U-TIC was somehow able to contain it shortly
before the Miltian Conflict, but during the end of the Conflict, it had
broken out of confinement. The top twenty-five members of the U.R.T.V.
Forces were sent to accomplish this task, and included in those
twenty-five were Gaignun, Albedo, Citrine, and myself. We had made it
to the Fourth Basement Floor in Labyrinthos, a floor above where it was
being contained. We formed a circle around the center of the room,
surrounding the hole that lead to U-DO's core.
"Such a weakling you are," Citrine taunted him, "you have no place
here."
"Shut up! I don't need to take this from you!" Albedo quickly
retorted.
"Hmph, all you seem to do is take it," she retorted, "you can't dish
it back."
"Stop it!" I ordered her. "If we screw this up, then..."
At that very moment, a magenta beam suddenly swirled toward us.
Naturally Albedo tried to pull back after the beam flew toward us, but
I quickly pulled him back into place before he could run. More beams
began to follow, but none of them were able to break through the
barrier we had set around it. Time slowly began to pass at that
moment, with more of those streams trying to break free. The lesser
U.R.T.V.'s began to grow weak shortly after, but we continued to try
and contain it. There was no sign of it calming down, if anything, the
streams began to grow more erratic. Finally one of the lesser
U.R.T.V.'s dropped to the floor, the barrier we had formed weakening.
Albedo began to back away after seeing this, but I held him in place
once again.
"This isn't good, Rubedo, we're just going to fall over and die at this
rate!" Albedo exclaimed. "Look at what happened to #649, he just..."
"I'm sure he just passed out," I tried to assure him.
The truth of the matter is, #649 didn't just pass out, he did die. He
used all of his strength in an attempt to contain U-DO, but in doing
so, he used all of his life energy as well. Another unit began to fall
after, and then another. The barrier was weakening at this moment, it
didn't look like we were weakening U-DO at all. Albedo began to scream
at that moment and tried to run away once again, but I continued to
hold him in place. I turned over to Gaignun to find a similar
reaction. At this moment, I also began to feel the same urge to run
coming over me. My knees began to tremble, and my brow drenched with
sweat. The trembling only worsened with every passing second, even
more shaking followed after another U.R.T.V. fell.
"I... I have to...," I began to speak.
"This is what we were born to do," Citrine spoke as the rest of us
began to tremble. "What other purpose is there for us in life? If we
were born for this day, then we shall also die during this day."
"Yuriev always knew we were born to do this," I said. "He must've
known that if we were to contain U-DO, it would cost us our lives.
That bastard!"
"And what difference does that make?" Citrine asked me. "This is our
reason for being, we have no other purpose other than this."
"No, this isn't right," I began to back away as well. "I... I have
to..."
"Don't even think about it, Rubedo!" Citrine yelled. "After all we've
been through to finally reach this day, you can't just expect to back
out now. We've come so far to make it here, we've come so far to the
pinnacle of our existence. Do you plan to just deny us of the peak of
our lives? You can't, Rubedo, you can't deny me of this, you can't
deny me my reason to exist!"
"I have to..."
"DON'T, RUBEDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I have to... cut the link..."
At that very moment, the invisible shield that contained U-DO
shattered. The streams began to disperse wildly with the barrier now
gone. The remaining lesser U.R.T.V.'s were the first ones who started
to flee, but they were also the first ones to be struck by the beams.
Three fell from the initial escape, the remaining four picking up their
battle rifles in an attempt to fight off the streams. A single stream
ran through one of the U.R.T.V.'s the moment they picked up their
weapon, the remaining three quickly began to open fire at the source of
the energy. Each of them fell shortly after, killed by a sudden blast
which escaped from the area we tried to contain. It was just the four
of us left after that, Albedo, Gaignun, and myself slowly trying to
make our escape. Citrine however, stayed there as we made our escape,
the entire structure beginning to fall as the energy grew even more
erratic.
"How dare you deny me the reason for my existence, Rubedo!" she
screamed at me as we ran down the corridor. "I swear, if you can deny
me of my reason for existence, then I shall deny you of yours!
Remember this day, Rubedo, you'll regret...!"
Before she can say anything more, a large piece of debris suddenly fell
on her. Each of us stopped at that moment to witness what had
happened, all of us shocked at the event. Despite the fact that none
of us got a long with her, we still felt pity for her. She truly did
feel as if our purpose in life was to destroy U-DO at the expense of
our own lives, and I selfishly took that away from her.
"Oh my God, Rubedo!" Albedo's scream followed shortly after.
A final stream of energy was flying toward us at that moment. Each of
us began to run again at this very moment, none of us trying to look
back. We were almost at the end of the corridor, toward the exit of
the floor, but that's when...
"Ah!"
"Albedo?" I turned around to find our comrade fallen to the floor.
A large pipe had fallen on Albedo's leg during our escape. He tried so
desperately to push it off, but despite his efforts, it wouldn't budge
at all.
"Rubedo, Nigredo, help me!" he screamed. "Please, help me!"
"Albedo, hang on!" Gaignun tried to go after him.
"No, Nigredo, don't!" I tried to stop him.
Gaignun had ignored my orders. I don't know if he knew if the stream
had almost reached Albedo, but he still tried to save him anyway.
Gaignun had actually made it to Albedo, taking his hand into his, and
he finally began to move Albedo off of the pipe. The stream was
getting even closer now, but Gaignun continued to help. When he saw
the stream again, his grasp began to loosen and he began to pull away
from Albedo. The stream was practically ten steps away from them at
this point, and it was at this point that Gaignun let go of Albedo's
hand and began to run once again.
"No, Nigredo, don't leave me!" Albedo screamed in tears. "Don't....!"
His next words were a loud scream, one that echoed above the sound of
the quaking structure. We tried to ignore his screams as best as we
could, running toward the exit once again, but fire began to escape the
hallway we were running through now, the blaze blasting through the
area we had just escaped. The fire had crept up to us almost as fast
as U-DO's energy, but this time there would be nothing to shield us.
The fire passed through us almost instantaneously, but miraculously, I
had suffered very few injuries from it. Gaignun on the other hand...
"Nigredo, are you all right?" I found him lying next to me.
"Nigredo...?"
Gaignun had suffered even worse injuries than I did. He was left
unconscious from the blast. The shaking of the structure had come to a
stop now, but the entire place was now dark. The electricity must've
been cut from the shaking, and the fire that Gaignun and I were caught
in must've been caused by a gas leak, but what actually ignited it was
a mystery.
"Hey Nigredo, this isn't funny, answer me," I began to shake him.
"Nigredo...? Nigredo...!"
The events that had just occurred finally began to take its toll on me.
For the first time in my life, I found my voice breaking and my eyes
watering. For the first time in my life, I was crying. I took Gaignun
into my arms after, trying to walk toward the exit, but my emotions and
guilt felt as if they were weighing down on my shoulders. I remember I
was staggering as I carried him, my cheeks wet with tears, and my voice
broken as I called for help.
"Somebody, help us!" I cried. "Please..., somebody..."
I don't know how long I called, but I remember trying to stagger up the
stairway to the upper floor, falling to the ground several times as I
did so. I remember each time I fell, I looked at Gaignun, his breath
slowly becoming shorter.
"The bleeding won't stop...," I cried as I carried my only surviving
comrade. "Please, somebody, help us..."
I couldn't walk much longer after that, I just fell to the floor again
from exhaustion. The tears began to fall even more rapidly now, my
body unable to hold itself up, weighed down by my emotions. With what
little energy I had, I began to curse at myself, cursing my weakness,
cursing how I let most of my comrades fall so easily, and most of all,
cursing at the fact that I failed to save any of them. Just when I
thought all hope was lost...
"Over here, I found two of them!"
It was a pair of soldiers, one with tanned-skin and snow-white hair,
and another with a reddish tint and yellow eyes. They hurried down to
where Gaignun and I lay, a med kit in their hands. The soldier with
reddish hair quickly brought out the med kit and began to inspect
Gaignun, quickly tending to his wounds. The white hair approached me,
kneeling down to my level so that he may speak to me.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I... I severed the link...," was all I could say. "I'm supposed to
be the leader, but... I couldn't control my fear. I couldn't save any
of them..."
"chaos, this other one's going to be okay," the red-haired soldier told
his comrade, "what about the one with you?"
"He's also all right," he answered. "See, you at least saved one of
them, that in itself is an accomplishment," he told me. "Come on,
let's get you and your friend out of here."
It's been fourteen years since that day, I thought it was all over
then, but...
I look out the window of the park now to find the never-ending abyss of
the stars staring back at me. That day marked the beginning of a new
life for me, despite the fact that it involved the sacrifice of so
many. I do look back on that day with a little regret, but I know I
can't continue to live in the past, I have to focus on the present,
even if it is painful at the moment.
"Deep in thought I see," a voice suddenly echoes within the area.
"This isn't like you at all, Rubedo."
"Who's there?!"
Several men jump out of the bushes now, each of them armed with either
a machine gun or pistol. Each of them wears a black uniform with red
sleeves, along with black open-fingered gloves and a ski mask over
their face. I turn to my sides to find the same sight, only these men
have gotten closer. It was stupid of me not to catch these guys while
I was thinking.
"Empty out your pockets and put your hands up!" one of them orders me.
With a shrug of my shoulders, I do as I'm told. I find several coins
in my pants' pocket along with other forms of money. Each of them
falls to the floor and my shoes at this point, the coins clinking to
the ground. I begin to run my hands through my jacket pockets now to
find the pair of stainless steel Makarov pistols that Gaignun bought
for me recently. I raise my hands to show them my weapons, each of
them naturally readying their guns again as I show them. Before I can
try anything however, the closest guy hits me with the butt of his
rifle on the left side of my face. I begin to fall in an angle now, my
left leg kicking up at this point as I fall. My right hand meets with
the ground now, the tips of my nails sliding underneath several coins
for a second. My hand naturally flicks them upward after the back of
my wrist meets with the floor, sending each of the coins toward the
enemies in front of me. At this point, I rise my left arm before the
left side of my body meets with the floor, my hand quickly catching one
of my pistols and immediately pull its trigger. The bullet from the
shot quickly ricochets off the first coin I tossed up from my shoe from
when the soldier hit me. It ricochets off another one later, and then
another, bouncing between the coins that now surround each of the
soldiers in the area. The same bullet pierces through six of the men,
the remaining one unaware of what happened, looking around the area as
if there were some kind of reinforcements trying to help me out.
"What the hell was that?!" one of them exclaims after realizing there
are no reinforcements.
Before either of them can make another move, I take my other gun off
the ground now and open fire on the ones to the left of me. Each of
them falls quickly, but the shots have collected the attention of the
remaining eight men. Each of them begins to shoot at me now, but I'm
able to evade each of their bullets by diving into the nearest bush. I
push my back against the shrubbery now, loading a fresh clip into each
of my guns. I begin to hear rustling on both sides of the brush now,
and naturally I open fire at the sound. I hear three thuds after
firing, and naturally I run out of my cover afterwards. The remaining
five try to chase me with their rifles blasting, but I manage to take
out two of them while making my escape. I dive into the first corner I
see, pressing my back against it. My left hand peaks over the edge at
this point and fires two more shots. I hear another thud after,
leaving me four guys left. I have to end this now, I can't let them
get to the rest of the Foundation.
I turn to my right now and find a fire extinguisher attached to the
wall. This is just what I needed to end this fight. I take the
extinguisher and lob it at the edge of the corner. As I predicted, a
hail of bullets meets with the device, filling the area with steam.
The firing stops at this point and allows me to leave my corner as I
find each of the enemy soldiers rubbing their eyes. At this point I
unleash the remaining shots in my pistols on them, sending each of them
to the floor instantaneously.
"Man, that was a close one," I sigh.
I put my weapons away now and walk back to where the men lie. I begin
to dig through one of their pockets and find a wallet with a picture ID
inside. I can't help but nearly stumble back upon seeing the ID. It's
not the identity of the person that shocks me, but the organization
that this ID is supposed to be for, it's...
"Yuriev's Private Forces," I find a pistol pointed at my temple now.
"It's been a long time, U.R.T.V. #666, Rubedo."
This voice, it's one I haven't heard in fourteen years. Resolute and
cold, the very tone a reflection of their heart. It can't be though,
this person was supposed to have died back in Miltia! We see saw it
happen too, there's no way...
"Citrine, you're... alive?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Elly's POV)
We've been walking through the forest for several hours now. This
marks the third day I've been stuck here, but at least now I'm not
alone anymore. Traveling with this -Lamb- who calls himself Fei hasn't
been as bad as I thought it'd be. I was surprised by the fact that he
saved me yesterday after being struck by one of those weird creatures,
it surprised me even more when he tended to my wounds and shared some
of his rations with me afterwards. He hasn't tried to provoke me
either since, he hasn't tried anything to harm himself. Still, it
makes me wonder...
"Fei...," I call out to my comrade. "Yesterday you said your life was
worthless. What did you mean by that?"
"Why are you asking?" my words cause him to stop him in his tracks.
"Why? Yesterday you looked like you had a death wish," I explain to
him. "You think it wouldn't make me wonder...? Say, how did you get
stranded in this forest in the first place?"
"I should ask you the same question."
"Huh? Well, I, errh...," I stutter, not sure where to begin my story.
"I...ran away...from my village...," he tells me, "or at least what's
left of it..."
"Village...?" his words catch my interest. "You don't mean...?!"
"Lahan...," he speaks, the word piercing through my conscience. "It
was a small village that existed between this forest and the mountain
range. I ran away from there."
"That village...?"
"It was a nice peaceful village," the long-haired -Lamb- continues.
"Everyone there treated me like family. Then, last night, a group of
Gears suddenly appeared and started fighting right in the middle of the
place. The village was engulfed in flames... I couldn't just stand
there and watch Lahan be destroyed... So to try and save the
villagers, I got in an empty Gear... without even knowing how to
operate it. I just thought maybe I could do it... ...no..., it was
more like someone was whispering to me... Someone whispering to me...
telling me to do it... But it was a disaster! The village..."
He grew silent afterwards, his head now lingering downward. His hands
began to close into fists, his nose beginning to sniffle, his shoulders
bobbing with them.
"Was it destroyed by the Kislev Army?" I ask, despite fearing that what
I say may hurt him more. "Fei...?"
"No...," he answered after several moments. "The village was
destroyed... by me...," he admits. "Yes. It was me. I destroyed
Lahan. I'm sure of it..."
"What do you mean you destroyed it?" I ask, his words not making any
sense. "I thought you were trying to help the villagers?"
"I did try to help," Fei explains. "I actually took out a few Gears.
But then I came under heavy fire from a new group of Gears... And then
my friend... Timothy... was hit by a hail of bullets... Then I lost
it... Everything just went dark... I don't remember anything after
that. The Gear I was in went out of control... Well, that's what Doc
said. When I came to... the village... and everything in it... was...
Alice... She was such a... Alice and Timothy... Oh god...!
Everybody... All such good people..."
"Went out of control...?" I can't help but ask. "The Gear...? What
about the village? Fei?"
"...yes, the Gear!" was all he could say.
The Gear did it. No, that's not the truth. The truth is it was my
fault why the village was destroyed. I had no idea that the Kislev
Army would just suddenly attack at after we landed there. It was three
nights ago, my squad and I had just stolen a top secret Gear out of the
capital of Kislev, Nortune. We were being pursued by several Kislev
Gears, even when we passed over to Aveh Territory.
"Damn them...," I remember my squad leader swearing as we tried to make
our escape. "They're still giving chase."
"We've entered Aveh Territory...," the soldier in the stolen Gear
informed us. "I'm not giving up now. This Gear's too important..."
The enemy Gears began to fire at that moment. I remember shifting my
Gear to the left to avoid the first barrage, and then back to the right
while increasing altitude to dodge the next. I couldn't return fire
unfortunately, doing so would put my own life at risk as there was
enough time to both dodge and retaliate. A third barrage soon
followed, but unfortunately, I was unable to dodge this one; several of
the bullets had lodged into the back of my craft.
"That's done it!" the pilot in the stolen Gear exclaimed after being
struck in the same attack. "I'm at a disadvantage now. Van Houten?
What's wrong? Respond!"
"Sh, Shrapnel... in my back," I reported. "My thrusters' output is
dropping. I can't maintain altitude."
"Damn it!" my squad leader swore again upon hearing my status.
"Everyone, land now!" he ordered. "Regroup on the ground. We'll have
to engage them!"
Unfortunately I was shot when we were hovering above a village, that
village being Lahan. The moment we hit the ground, I deserted my Gear,
two Kislev Gears opening fire the moment they saw me escape my machine.
I remember somehow dodging each bullet, but the shots had met with
houses of the village instead. The soldiers stopped firing at me the
moment they realized their bullets had hit the civilians' homes,
instead, turning their fire toward the structures in the area. I
wanted to do something to stop them, but...
"Van Houten, get out of here!" my squad leader ordered me in his Gear.
"But Sir...!"
"Rendezvous in the forest to the south of here. We'll meet you at the
entrance at 0200 hours, got it? Now go!"
And that's how I wound up here, but my teammates never arrived. I can
only assume the worse and...
"If they had never come to the village," Fei interrupts my thoughts,
"never started fighting there... Then I wouldn't have tried to pilot
that Gear. It's all their fault... Not mine! They're the ones to
blame," his last words begin to boil my blood. "If they'd never
come... none of this would have... if not for them!" he began to yell,
his fist meeting with the closest tree. "Them! Them! Them!"
"Enough of that!" I found myself screaming at him. "You're a coward!"
"A coward?" he asked, his voice lowering. "...Me?"
"Yes, you're a coward," I continued to defend myself. "All you're
saying is 'them, them, them.' Don't talk as if you had no part of the
blame as well!"
"I'm to blame...?"
"Yes, that's right! Of course the direct cause of the battle was that
a Gear made an emergency landing in your village, but all Kislev wanted
was the Gear, right? They weren't invading or out to destroy Lahan.
The real damage occurred because you climbed in a Gear and tried to
fight back!" I yell. "What ever made you get into that Gear? Not just
anyone can pilot them! It takes training! There is no way a civilian
can hope to pilot one! Besides... you should have been helping the
villagers flee to safety instead! How can you blame the damage on a
Gear when it was your decision to fight in it in the first place? Why
don't you take some responsibility for yourself?! Why are you putting
all the blame on others? That's just running away! That's what makes
you a coward!"
"Well if you put it that way... Yes... that's right, I am a coward!"
his words began to shock me. "I didn't realize my own strength and
have been blaming what happened as a result of that on others. I'm a
pitiful excuse for a man. But... I just felt this rush of blood in
me and I couldn't help myself... or help others."
I begin to feel bad about what I had just said. It's true he got
inside the Gear, but he was just trying to defend his village. If
anything, it was my fault for landing there in the first place, I'm the
one to blame. If I had been more careful and dodged the enemy fire, my
squad and I wouldn't have... It's not his fault, it's mine. I'm the
one running away, I'm the one at fault, I'm the coward.
"Fei, I, I'm..."
"Shut up!" he yells at me, sulking to the floor. "What do you know?!
When I came to I was surrounded by piles of rubble... I didn't know
what had happened or what I had done. I remembered absolutely nothing.
All I knew was that my hands could still feel what they had done. The
only thing that penetrated the Gear's barrier were screams... Screams
accompanied by the stench of blood, the sound of crushing bones, and my
own curses. Look! Look at my hands! Can you hear their voices? Can
you understand this feeling? The feeling of having destroyed your
village with your own hands...? Of not being able to do anything for
the children left behind...? Now they have nothing... I have
nothing... I have nowhere... No one... I didn't want to get it...
I had no choice... There was no other way..."
I wake up now after hearing this. Again I have had a strange dream,
this time it had that young man that was in my first dream. That man,
Fei... he bears a striking resemblance to Abel, why is that? Why am I
having these dreams in the first place? So much has just been
happening lately. The events that occurred last month, Miang
awakening, Vector's attempt to take me back, the Zohar Project
starting, my fights with Shion and Jin, and these weird dreams, I don't
know how much more I can take. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind
at this rate, this is just too much for me! I can't... I can't...
"Help me...," I find myself curling in a ball. "Please... Someone,
help me... Shion, Miang, MOMO, chaos, Jr., Ziggy, Jin, Abel, Miyuki,
Allen, somebody, anybody, HELP ME!!!!!"
No one comes for my cries though, the tears can't help but fall as I
ball myself further in this corner. I realize that no one can help me
now, that it was my decision to come here in the first place. I chose
to come to the Ormus Sect all by myself in an attempt to stop them from
going through with the Zohar Project. It was very reckless of me to do
so, so immature. I shouldn't have done such a thing.
The very sight of this room frightens me, there's barely anything here.
There's only a toilet, a sink, and the bed I'm sitting on. The smell
of rusted iron fills the air, drops of water leak from random spots of
the ceiling, nothing here is in good condition. Each of the walls has
at least one crack, even the door in here has a tiny one. I can hear
other prisoners from outside the door; some of them yell to be let out,
others scream, and a very small number laugh maniacally.
Shion, please..., hold me, call my name, run your fingers through my
hair, press your lips on my brow, please just let me know everything is
going to be okay. Please...
The door to my cell opens now, but I already know who it is. My body
begins to loosen the moment I see her face, my frown slowly
disappearing as she approaches me. I try my best to smile as she stops
in front of me, but she does not return the expression. Instead, she
stares down at me, with a glare on her face. My smile slowly melts
upon seeing this, my face turning to the side and my cheek stinging
with the swing of her palm.
"You idiot, what were you thinking?!" she yells at me.
"Miang...?" I take hold of my cheek.
"How could you leave Mother all by herself?!" she yells. "Did you even
think about how much she'd worry about you if you did this?"
"I'm sorry, Miang, but..."
"But what?! Did you think your actions would be so noble and spare
everyone trouble by trying to go off on your own? That's just being
selfish, Elly! Not just selfish, stupid! Mother is probably really
worried about you right now, crying over and over again now that you've
left her side. And what about your friends, I'm sure they're worried
too."
"But, Miang..."
"But nothing! You think you're so brave and noble, trying to play
'hero' so that others won't have to suffer, but let me tell you
something, Elly, your actions are nothing but downright stupid and
immature!"
"And what would you know about being stupid and immature?!" I retort.
"You, the one who tried to replace me not too long ago! You claimed
that all you ever wanted was to love and be loved, yet even when you
got that, you still tried to replace me. If anyone here is stupid and
immature, it's you, Miang!"
"Unlike you though, I learned from that experience!" my sister snaps
back. "And what are you doing to rectify your situation? Do you think
crying and huddling in a corner is going to do anything?! I, however,
am trying to atone for what I did."
"And just how are you doing that?! You're following their orders for
their own selfish ambitions. I wouldn't call that atonement, that's
the exact opposite!"
"I'm trying to help you, aren't I?!" Miang asks, her tone still full of
anger. "I may be following orders to repay my debt, but I'm still
trying to aid your cause. Why else did I spare you those times we
fought? Why else are you still alive now? If it weren't for me, you,
Mother, and all of your friends would be dead now!"
"...you may be right, but that still doesn't justify atonement," I tell
her, beginning to calm down.
"...I know," she nods, her sinking to the floor.
Silence begins to fill the room again, neither of us can find any more
words to say. My sister takes a seat next to me, but her eyes are
still pointed toward the ground. I must have said too much just now,
but even so, it just isn't right for her to follow her superiors'
orders, especially knowing what the end result will be. I want to try
and say something else to her, but nothing else comes to mind. Now
that I think about it, I've never really had much of a chance to just
talk with my sister, but for some reason, I can't think of anything to
talk about with her.
"...Elly, do you have nightmares?" my sister suddenly asks.
"...sometimes," I answer.
"What are they of?"
"...sometimes I dream of being somewhere else. No, someone else as
well. I don't know how to describe it, but lately I've been having
these strange dreams. Most of them involve me hurting someone, either
physically or mentally. In one I killed several men who tried to
attack me, but these men were also classmates of mine. In another, I
was responsible for the destruction of a village, I had unwillingly led
several A.M.W.S., or 'Gears' as they're called in my dreams, to it.
The end result in each of them is the same," I find myself huddling
into a ball again, "I'm all alone, my hands tainted with blood. The
blood isn't always physically on my hands, but on my conscience. I
want to call out to somebody, anybody, but no one is there for me. And
with what's going on now in my life, I... I don't know how much more I
can take. Why, Miang?" I ask her. "Why us, why do we have to be the
ones who have to carry such heavy burdens? I never wanted any of this,
I never chose to go through with such things, I just..."
"Sh, calm down," I find her arms beginning to wrap around me. "It's
okay, I'm here now. You're not the only one who has nightmares, I have
bad dreams too."
"You do?"
"Yes," she nods. "Every night, I dream of you and Mother. The two of
you are always so happy together, laughing and playing, but every time
I see you, I'm far away. I try to run to both of you, but both of you
walk ahead of me, never stopping. With every step I take, I find both
of you drifting further and further away from me. I try to call out to
you, but you don't hear my words. I say your names louder and louder,
but still, you don't look at me, you both continue to walk away until
you fully disappear from my sight. I stop in my tracks after that and
it begins to rain. I would fall on my knees and begin to cry, my voice
weakly calling for you two between my sobs, but you don't come, you
never come," she begins to sniffle. "After that, I always wake up in
tears, and just like in my dreams, I'm all alone. Machines aren't
supposed to have feelings like this, but 'he' says I'm different, that
I'm special, which is exactly why 'he' needs me. I may be doing all of
this for 'him,' but every time I wake up, every time I cry, I..."
"But I'm here now, Miang," I assure her. "I'll always be here just as
you're here for me right now. You and I were raised apart, but we're
together now, aren't we? If you call, I will answer. You're not
alone, Miang, I'll be with you as long as you'll be with me."
"Elly, thank you."
Her hold on me is as tight as ever and the streams that run down our
cheeks begin to dry. I find myself beginning to feel at ease a little
more now, my own arms beginning to wrap around my sister's waist. Her
breath tickles my lips, the smell of her hair feels as if it were
melting me from within, it makes my body sink to the mattress now. My
sister doesn't let me though, she catches my fall, cradling my head and
bringing it to her heart. I feel the device beating now, slowly
thumping against her breast as if it were trying to sing me a lullaby.
"Shion always holds me like this," I tell her, nestling my face closer
to the source of the beats. "Every night when we go to sleep, she
always cradles me."
"Like a mother and her child?" Miang asks.
"That's right," I nod. "But I can't stay a child forever," I continue.
"I can't always come to rely on everyone when I'm distressed, and I
can't always be selfish just as you said. Everything I do just shows
my naivety, I'm never going to be an adult at this rate."
"You can't just grow up over night," my sister tells me. "Just rest
now, you can consider tomorrow to be your first day of growing up."
"All right," I begin to nuzzle toward my sister's heart.
My sister claims to still be a machine, yet she has emotions just like
I do. Her body is mechanical, yes, but the beating inside her breast
is nothing a weapon can copy. She is special just as this man she
mentions says, it's just as I told her not too long ago. If we can
love, then we have a heart.
My body begins to grow really light now, the darkness beginning to
envelop me. I'm not scared though, I know she'll still be with me when
I wake up. I can still hear her heart; though it is faint, I hear it
in front of my ear, its pace matching my own.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(MOMO's POV)
I wonder where Jr. went. I tried looking for him in the Foundation's
Residential Area, but no one claims to have seen him there today. I
just tried the Bridge on the Durandal as well, but Mary, Shelley, and
all of my little sisters haven't seen him either. The only other place
I can think of is the Park Area.
The train comes to a stop now and the doors begin to open. I get out
of my seat now, but before I can take a single step, some men in masks
quickly run inside, each of them with some kind of gun in their hands.
"Everybody on the floor, now!" one of the orders as he fires several
shots into the ceiling.
Everyone in the car including myself quickly does as they were ordered,
huddling toward the seats of the car in groups. I can't help but
tremble like the rest of the people in here, they all just came here
without warning.
"This entire facility is now in control of the Yuriev Private Army,"
one of the men announces. "As long as you do as you're told, no harm
will come to you. Any attempts to try and contact the outside world
for whatever reason will be countered with physical force."
Where did these men come from, and what do they want? I wonder how
they even got in the Foundation to begin with. Could they be after the
Zohars, or after...?
"There's supposed to be 100-Series in the Foundation with the Y-Data,"
I overhear a conversation between the soldiers in the front, "some
military Realian's got it as well."
"As far as I know, all the 100-Series are supposed to be on the Bridge,
let's head there first," another soldier speaks.
All of the soldiers head to the front of the train now and the doors
begin to close. With all of their back turned now, I begin to slip
away from the crowds of people, walking toward the nearest exit. By
the time I make it to the doors, one of the men suddenly turns around
and sees me.
"Hey you!" the man begins to rapidly approach me.
Before he can do anything else, I quickly push through the gap of the
train's doors, the doors immediately closing after I make it through.
I begin to run toward the Park Area now, but the soldier from before
pokes his gun out of the window and begins aiming. I try to push my
feet deeper into the ground so that I can run faster, but I don't know
if...
"Let her go," I look back to the train to find another soldier stopping
his comrade, "she's just a little girl."
"Fine," the one pointing the gun at me stops.
The train begins to move out of the area now. I breathe a sigh of
relief now that their gone, but I can't help but worry about the
others. I begin to walk toward the park itself now but I don't see any
more of those bad men luckily. I begin to make my way into the actual
park, but I quickly hide behind the nearest corner the moment I see
what's in the center area. There's a woman with a gun in her hand and
Jr. at the end of its barrel.
"You're supposed to be dead, Citrine," Jr. yells at the woman, trying
to escape the wrap of her arm, "we all saw you die!"
"How am I supposed to die when I haven't fulfilled my role yet?" she
asks. "Isn't that the same reason why all of four of us still live?
We U.R.T.V.'s solely exist to eradicate U-DO, do we not? What other
purpose was there for our creation? Actually, that inferior number,
#667, he's complete lost sight of our true objective, but then again,
he always was a weakling."
"Still the same overconfident bitch you always were, I see," Jr.
retorts.
"And you've grown even weaker since the last time I saw you," the
orange-haired woman pushes her gun further into Jr.'s temple. "I
never thought you'd try and live a life like this. Did Albedo's dream
have something to do with it? I'm not surprised Nigredo turned out
like this, but you? Come to think of it, maybe it had something to do
with Mizrahi's brain-dead girl."
"Don't you ever mention her like that!" Jr. screams.
"And just what are you going to do about it?" Citrine scoffs. "One
wrong move and my finger may accidentally pull the trigger."
I have to do something to help him, but I don't know what. If I try to
go out there at all, she might shoot Jr. I can't go back for help
either, the train's gone and I have no way of going back to where Ziggy
is. There might be more of those men around the Foundation as well,
and I don't know what will happen to Jr. if I leave. I don't know what
to do, but I can't just...
Wait, what's this sensation? Something's coming. No, not now, it
can't be! Of all times, why now?
"Warning, large-scale gate out," Shelley's voice echoes over the
intercom system. "Repeat, large-scale gate out. A legion of Gnosis
has just been spotted twenty miles north of the Foundation. All
civilians evacuate to your assigned shelters. Military Personnel in
squadrons 15 through 30 report to your assigned A.G.W.S. Unit.
Military Personnel in other squadrons are to report to Sections 12 and
13 for additional orders. I repeat..."
"Great!" Citrine spits, releasing her hold on Jr. "I wasn't expecting
this."
"Are you going to turn tail now and run?" Jr. asks as he dusts himself
off.
"No, I told you that our purpose was to eradicate U-DO, and that
includes everything that's involved with it," she tells Jr. "Including
the one out there."
I look out the window as well to see a sight I never wanted to see
again. That giant machine, that white craft. I can hear him laughing
again, I can hear his voice from inside the craft. I can see his
claw-like fingers on the controls, wrapping them around tightly as if
he were strangling them. He flies toward the incoming Gnosis as if
they were nothing, their forms still translucent. His machine begins
to touch them, and at that moment, the one before him solidify for only
a second before exploding. I can hear him laughing again, and I hear
his voice.
"Weak!" he cries maniacally. "They're all so weak!"
"A...Albedo..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
cbman's note: Well that was hard to write as usual. The team and I
have been wanting to write Albedo and Citrine in for a while now, and
finally we've gotten our chance. In any case, sorry for the slowness
in the beginning of the chapter, we couldn't really show most of the
characters' pasts in the previous chapter and whatnot, so I thought
we'd get more of it out of the way in this one. Jr. and Ziggy's past
will show up more often in this fic later on (more so with Ziggy),
along with chaos's which hasn't been explored yet. Anyways, Xenogears
fans may recognize Elly's dream in this chapter from near the beginning
of disc 1, before Fei gets Weltall back (Weltall is Fei's Gear for
those who haven't played Xenogears). As for Elly's conversation with
Miang, it may seem like a step back from some of her development seen
in the previous chapter, but keep in mind that Elly's growing up in a
sense. In this point in her maturity, she's going though some teen
angst and depression. We can also see the same in Miang with her
conversation with Elly, although Miang's angst is coming from the lack
of having a family when she was maturing. I'm enjoying the evolution
of their characters so far, I just hope you readers are enjoying it as
well. In any case, in the next chapter, we'll have a reunion of the
four U.R.T.V. Variants and the arrival to Old Miltia, along with the
beginning of Elly's escape from the Ormus Sect. Hope you guys enjoyed
this chapter and hope you look forward to the next. The more reviews
we get, the faster we'll try and bring the next chapter out, but no
flames as usual. Well see ya!
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