Bound (part 1 of 8)
Author's Note: Welcome readers to "Xenosaga Episode 1: Bound," the
sequel to "Warm." For all those who haven't read "Warm," it isn't a
requirement to understand the events in "Bound," this is more of a
stand-alone story. Also, this story is shoujo-ai (female-female
romance, KOS-MOS and Shion in this case), so if you're not into that
kind of stuff, read something else. Unlike "Warm," however, there are
two key differences. One is that the story is now told in KOS-MOS's
POV instead of Shion's, and as a result, KOS-MOS will be out-of-
character for the sake of the story. The other key difference is that
this story is mostly angst, meaning there is hardly a comedic moment,
nearly everything will be depressing later on. Themes such as
religion, sex, and rape will appear as the story unfolds, and thus, the
fanfiction.net of this story will have numerous scenes and such edited
or removed for the sake of the "No NC-17" rule. The uncut version will
be found on www.shoujo-ai.com under my other pen name "cbman." I will
tell what points are edited and the such at the beginning of each
chapter, but since this is the first chapter, there will be no
difference between the two (although this first chapter is fairly
slow). With that said, I present to you readers the sequel to "Warm,"
"Bound."
Chapter 1: I Feel a Chill
My skin begins to rise with the pluck of her lips, my breath barely
escaping my lips as a stream escapes her tongue.
"More...," I beg in almost a whisper.
Her fingers stroke against my cheek once again, only to stop at the
base of my chin. They take hold of it firmly, yet lightly, tilting my
face toward hers. I am too immersed in her touch to look at her,
shutting my eyes so I can taste the full passion of her kiss. Her
mouth begins to press against mine and our tongues begin to bicker.
They wrestle one another over and over again, their sweat flooding the
crevices of our mouths. Our tongues tap once more before giving away
as a stream of the nectar connects them for a second more.
"So delicate, so sweet," she barely breathes onto my lips.
"More," I plead, taking her hand and bringing it toward my heart,
"more..."
Her mouth presses against mine once more, but this time only for a mere
second. My body is left cold with the release of her lips, and it
begins to shiver. Her hand begins to move, sliding downward near my
heart. I cannot help but take in a gasp as she brushes my breast, but
a cry cannot help but escape from my mouth as her hold tightens. I
cannot ignore the bliss her touch gives me, but I still want her to do
more. Taking what little strength I have left from the feel of
ecstacy, my fingers take hold of the golden zipper on my uniform.
"You are eager, KOS-MOS," she tells me, "very eager..."
I cannot help but open my eyes now, turning to my love's rectangle-
shaped goggles. I stare at them for a moment, only to push her away a
moment after.
'This isn't right,' I realize as I look closer at the impersonator of
my love.
How I could have mistaken this individual for Shion, I do not know;
their appearances are very different. A majority of this person's
attire is skin, though there are parts of her body that is
barely clothed. A collar is worn around her neck, connecting to pieces
of silver that travel downward and barely cover her breasts. The area
between her legs is also barely clothed, again covered by a metallic
material. High-heeled boots cover up to her ankles just as black
leather gloves barely cover her palms, but not her fingers. Her dull
blue hair is uneven, yet long, growing passed her lower back. Red
rectangles are found on the base of her limbs, disappearing for a
moment as her arms and legs bend. Her face is cold, as blank as a
starless night. I cannot see her eyes, however, as they are blocked
from view by her rectangular shaped goggles that connect to a
band on her forehead.
"I do not understand," she says in a monotone voice, "what isn't right?
Tell me."
Her hands and feet suddenly become flat with the surface, but her face
still looking forward with a monotone expression. My body begins to
creep backward, the crook of my arm keeping my uniform from falling to
the floor. She begins to advance forward, all her limbs moving across
the floor so naturally. I cannot help but step back once more, my body
beginning to turn in the other direction. I can hear the ground behind
me beginning to crumble as the area begins to shake. My steps become
more rapid, the wind starting to sting against my skin. The earth
shakes more violently now, the crashing growing louder with ever
second. I try to run faster and she does the same. For a moment,
everything becomes calm, until a gust of wind suddenly blows from
behind me. I turn to where the blast had flowed, only to find that...
creature. She gets ready to pounce one more, and I cannot help but try
to flee in the other direction once more. It is no use as I find the
earth pressing against my body and another force on my back.
"You were enjoying everything until you opened your eyes," she says,
bringing her lips to my ear.
"Stop it!" I order.
I shield my vision once more, returning to the world of darkness.
Though my eyes have brought me elsewhere, my ears remain in reality.
I hear the fabric of my uniform tearing in an instant, the rag
forcefully being pried from my arm in the next. An arm wraps around my
waist afterward, it's hand traveling upward toward my collar. Another
arm suddenly crawl down my body, this one wrapping around my waist.
This one's hand begins to move, traveling in the opposite direction of
its sister.
"Please, stop...," I beg.
"They say that 'lust' is a sin," she tells me, "but 'love' is highly
regarded to Man as the language of one's heart and soul. What is the
difference, KOS-MOS, can you tell me? Can you show me?"
"Stop it...," the water in my eyes can no longer remain in my pupils.
"Stop it!"
That is when I wake up from the nightmare, finding myself harnessed to
the arms of another. My body is heavy, my body drenched in a
translucent liquid, and my skin cold. My chest heaves heavily, only to
settle a moment later as I realize I am in the arms of safety. I begin
to relax once more upon my realization, returning my head to the
shoulder of my love.
'A dream,' I assure myself, 'just a dream.'
How long has it been since we have been lying here, one day, two? It
doesn't matter how long we've stayed here, we will always be here.
Even if we were to leave this very spot, our love will always blossom
here. In the blizzards of winter, in the sunshine of the summer, it
doesn't matter, our love will always be here. I would not have it any
other way, lying here with her. Shion, my Shion.
She continues to cradle me in her arms even in her sleep, her hold as
tight as ever. The sound of her heart echoes just before my ear, its
melody making my lips curl and assuring me everything will be okay.
The winds around seem to grow colder, but neither of us flinches. Her
body pressing against mine and mine against hers, it's all we need to
stay warm.
Warm..., Shion said I was warm. My lips, my heart, my body, all of it,
warm. A machine such as myself, am I even capable of creating such
warmth? Is a weapon such as myself even able to bring joy to a single
creature's life? I do not know, but I do know this. I know that my
lips can't help but curl around her presence, my knees feel weak when
she is near, and my body feels as if it were being warmed by steam.
It sounds silly, perhaps even incomprehensible, but I love her.
"Mm...," my cheek can't help but sink further toward her heart.
My hand begins to crawl upward, toward her shoulder, my fingers curling
as it finds its flat edge. Her lips press against my forehead again as
my fingers slide down her arm, and again, my body begins to melt with
its touch.
A humming noise begins to enter my ear after her kiss, the source
coming from behind us. It is probably the others, searching for the
two of us. Neither of us makes an attempt to move as we continue to
sit here in each other's arms, but another's hand suddenly falls upon
my shoulder.
"Chief? KOS-MOS?"
It is the voice of Allen, the second benefactor who was responsible for
my design. With the sound of his voice, my lover's arms begin to shift
away from my heart, rising to her face and then rubbing her eyes. A
chill begins to creep across my body now that I am free from her
embrace, but I try not to show my disappointment by keeping my face
blank.
"Allen?" my love looks at her co-worker confused.
"Chief, you've been up here for almost a day now, are you feeling all
right?" he asks as he helps her to her feet.
"Has it really been a day?" she asks, turning to the newly rising sun.
"What have you been doing up here?" he asks as I return to my feet on
my own.
"Thinking," she answers, returning to her feet.
"Thinking, Chief?"
"About many things," she continues, "about what's happened; about the
Woglinde, about Nephilim, about Proto Merkabah, and...," the gaze of
her emerald eyes turns toward me, "about KOS-MOS."
"KOS-MOS?" her co-worker turns toward me for a moment. "Yeah, I guess
I can't blame you after all that's happened lately. It sure doesn't
feel like a month since she was activated, I'm sure Togashi and the
others would be proud knowing the results of their hard work."
"KOS-MOS," my love begins to approach me, "how are you feeling, you've
been very quiet."
"I'm fine," I tell her, pushing back the remaining images of my dream.
"That's good," she smiles. "Allen, can you go on ahead of us, please?"
she returns to her co-worker.
"Uh... yeah, sure."
The man takes very little time to return to the elevator, returning to
the deck in the Elsa. I turn my attention back to Shion, who
continues to smile at me. I return the smile with my own, and she
places her arm around my shoulder.
"We've definitely made some progress, haven't we?" she brings up.
"Progress?"
"You normally answer with 'all systems are normal' if nothing's wrong."
"I apologize, I'll be careful about what I say from now on."
She begins to laugh suddenly with her arms crossing and taking hold of
her sides, just as she did during the Encephalon test a month ago.
Human sense of humor, it always comes up at such odd times, I do not
understand it.
"No, don't worry about it," she assures me, "it's nothing you have to
apologize over, I'm just pointing it out."
"I see," I nod.
"Well then, shall we get going?" she begins to head toward the cargo
elevator.
As I begin to step forward, a sudden chill crawls up my spine. My body
becomes paralyzed and my breath short. A brush suddenly falls upon my
shoulders, as if fingers were wrapping around them. My pupils turn to
the edge of my eyes so that they can try and find the source of the icy
touch, but they find nothing but clouds and the sun.
"KOS-MOS, is something wrong?" my love's voice returns me to reality.
"No," I lie.
I approach the elevator after without looking back. As the lift begins
to return us to the ship, another jolt shoots through my body, starting
with my left arm. I turn to the source with my entire head this time
to find Shion's cheek snuggling against my shoulder. I breath a sigh
of relief afterward and begin stroking her hair.
'It was just a dream,' I assure myself once more, 'nothing more, just a dream...'
"Here's your tea," I inform the captain as I hand him a glass of piping
hot water and herb.
"Thanks," the captain takes the drink from my tray.
Serving food and drinks while the others eat, it's what I usually do
during their meals. It's quite a simple task, and yet, Shion tells me
that teenagers find a job such as this a hassle, I never understood
why. Humans, such complex individuals, I don't understand them,
although I do try my best. I think I am beginning to understand them
though through Shion, understanding the joys of happiness, the
depression of sadness, and the warmth of love. Although I must ask
myself this,"Do I really understand when I cannot use words to define
any of these subjects?"
"You're always a busy one," the silver-haired boy's catches my
attention.
"I am simply following my programming of being courteous," I inform
the boy as I place the tray with the remaining food on the bar counter.
"You're funny, KOS-MOS," I look behind the silver-haired boy to find
the pink-haired realian laughing. "Come on, KOS-MOS, can you take
things easy for now?" MOMO changes the subject.
"Yeah," a hand falls upon my right shoulder and I turn to the source to
find the captain of the Durandel, "why don't you join us for breakfast
for now, I don't think anyone else is going to eat the rest of the food."
"Hey, Miss Android," the Elsa's captain summons me, "gimme another
round!"
"The captain beckons," I take the tray back into my hands, "I must get
this to him at once."
"Please join us, just this once," the young realian tugs on my arm.
"KOS-MOS," my love calls from the other table as she gathers the dirty
dishes, "go ahead and sit with them, I'll make some more curry for the
captain."
"Understood," I nod and return to my seat between chaos and Jr.
"Thank you for staying with us," MOMO says as I settle into the bar
stool.
"You are welcome," I respond.
"Well since you're here, why don't you have a drink?" Jr. offers as he
hands me a glass of carbonated water.
I take a moment to stare into the beverage. I can see the reflection
of my ruby pupils as I stare into the translucent liquid. The drink
begins to bubble with every second that passes, the clear spheres
breaking upon touching the surface of the small pool held within the
plastic. I bring the glass toward my lips, finding a faint scent of
citrus within. My mouth begins to open as I bring the glass closer,
only to pull it away as the bubbles begin to sear the skin on my lips.
"Is something the matter?" chaos asks. "It's just soda, it's not going
to hurt you."
I turn back to the glass in my hand, observing the carbonated water
once again. I watch as some bubbles cling so desperately to the sides
of the glass as their counterparts disperse upon touching the surface.
I do not attempt to take the beverage into my mouth again, instead,
returning it to its tray so that another may drink it later. The very
image of the bubbles makes me feel weaker than I already am for it has
been two days, three hours, twenty minutes, and sixteen seconds since I
had my energy reserves recharged.
"I've never needed food or beverages to replenish my energy supply," I
explain to the others. "I thank you for having me for company, but my
presence isn't needed here."
I begin to take my leave of the diner, but just as I'm about to leave
the door, Shion comes through with another tray of food.
"Are you going somewhere, KOS-MOS?" she stops me for a moment with her
voice.
"I must replenish my energy reserves," I inform her, "please, excuse
me."
Without saying another word, I walk passed Shion, my thoughts fixed on
the events that just happened.
'Why would they want my company?' I ask myself. 'They have each other
to converse with, they needn't another individual to join their
conversations. Although...'
The algorithms I have been programmed with cannot comprehend this
situation further. With a sigh, I return to my errand so that I may
replenish my energy reserves.
My service module, it's always acted as my sanctuary. Whenever I lie
in here, I tend to forget nearly everything about the outside world.
My thoughts and memories lie in this metallic chamber, but
unfortunately, they are shared with Vector. Still, I feel so
comfortable and relaxed here, not once did I have to worry about
privacy and whatnot, but after what happened between Shion two nights
ago, I can't help but feel...weird about being in here. It's not that
I'm ashamed of what happened, I just don't feel well knowing that
others may be able to see this memory. My body is warm once again, but
the fire that burns within me is different from the flames of passion.
Embarrassment, is this how it feels? Why do I continue to think of
these things, they only irritate me, even if they do fascinate me at
the same time.
I brush the thought away as I settle my head in the back area of the
module, my eyes closing as it brings me into the world of darkness.
The sounds of reality begin to cease moments later and I begin to feel
at ease once again. The feel of the device's surface disappears as
well, yet it is replaced with a push of warmth as it flows through my
system. I take in a deep breath and begin to settle more in my
sanctuary, waiting for everything to fully disappear.
It does not disappear. I am brought back into reality with the sound
of footsteps. The clacking of shoes is faint at first, but it grows
louder and louder as it appears to walk toward me. The steps, they are
ones I have not heard before. They are heavy, I can hear the heels of
their shoes digging into the ground. The air around the individual
sears my skin as a breeze begins to flow in my direction, and yet, I
remain still. I want to move, I want to open my eyes, but my body
fails to act. The clacking stops a moment later, yet the air following
the individual burns like a furnace.
"KOS-MOS," a voice I have never heard suddenly calls.
The voice calls in a monotone expression, yet there is a hint of ice in
her voice. The wind that carries her voice, however, burns like magma,
scorching my ears and the area between the them as it enters one ear
and exits the other. Another breeze begins to blow suddenly, carrying
an arm as it treads to my cheek. The touch is gentle as her fingers
begin to glide down my face, yet a chill crawls down my spine with
every inch it caresses. Again, my body does not act, even as I feel
her lips press by my ear.
"So we finally meet," my unknown guest barely breathes. "You and I,
there are no others such as us. We are bound, KOS-MOS," she says as
her hand leaves my cheek, its fingers settling in the inlets between my
mine, "both of us, bound by the companion Man has created. And so, my
darling, we are bound to one another."
"Who are you?" I finally manage to speak.
Silence is the answer I receive. I still cannot see, my eyes still
refuse to open. I try to ask her once more, but my lips do not move,
nor does my voice call. I feel the breeze once more, the winds are as
cold as ever. I feel them as her body begins to rise away from mine,
only to move inward once again so that our lips are only an inch apart.
Another breeze begins to flow toward my lips, flowing as her mouth
begins to open.
"My darling, we are one once again," her words press against my mouth.
"Did they not know the pain we have gone through since we were
separated? Surely you remember, my love?"
"Remember?"
Another cold breeze envelopes my body once more, freezing me further
until I feel a force pressing against my body. I feel as if my body is
covered in ice; my arms and legs can't help but tremble, my breath
becomes heavy as mist, and my temperature begins to drop. From the
neck down, I am cold, freezing from the weight that is resting on top
of my body. This person's form covers me precisely, there is not one
inch her body cannot cover. Her arms lay on top of mine, her legs
stacked over my own, the only part of her that does not cover me is her
face which lingers only an inch above mine.
"You don't remember?" her icy breath breaths into my lips. "You really
have forgotten everything, haven't you?"
"I do not understand what you speak of," is the only way I can respond.
"No matter," she says.
Another brush of cold falls unto me after her words, falling upon the
tip of my nose. For a moment it brushes with another, only to pull
away a second later and replace it with a brush of one's cheek against
my own. Again I try to move, try to get this person off of me, but my
body does not respond.
"I will not have them separate us again," she continues in barely a
whisper. "We are connected once more, that's all that matters for
now."
Her face brushes away from mine once more, but now her lips slowly dive
toward mine once again. They stop only a centimeter apart from each
other, but I can still taste the mist escaping her mouth. Her body is
as cold as ever, and my entire body has grown numb. I try to speak
once more, but her words beat me to the chance.
"I shall be seeing you again, KOS-MOS..."
With that said, her body begins to lift from my own, the warmth of the
air returning with every inch she floats away. Float, is that even
possible? I detect no propulsion whatsoever, nor do I hear any wings
of any kind flying.
"KOS-MOS...," another voice begins to enter my ear. "KOS-MOS..."
"Hm...," my eyes begin to peel away the world of darkness.
"How are you feeling?" Shion greets me as my eyes focus on the panels
of the ceiling.
"I'm fine," I lie to her for the second time today.
"That's good," she tells me as I begin to rise from my service module.
That person, who was she exactly? Bound once more, I do not
understand? The incident was most likely a dream, that is all. My
energy reserves must have been dangerously low and triggered a series
of hallucinations, I must make a note to recharge in earlier levels.
'What's this?' I place my fingers over my lips.
A slippery device has bound over my lips, it's temperature is measured
to about 5 degrees Fahrenheit and rising. After being in contact with
my fingers for a moment, the barrier begins to melt.
'Liquid, water to be exact,' I conclude after my sensors scan the
residue.
"So KOS-MOS," I turn my attention back to my love, "which one do you
prefer?"
In her hands are two different outfits. My sensors begin to scan the
material of the two uniforms, both made of silk, although the colors
are different. The one being held in her right hand is of a crimson
shade, with no sleeves whatsoever. Two sash-like devices cling to the
abdomen area of the dress, both of them going in different directions
but both connected in the front so that it looks like a "V." The skirt
of the dress has a slit in the left side of the material, although it
does not look like it is ripped. I then turn my attention to the other
uniform. This one is much different from the other, whereas there are
no straps whatsoever to hold this dress and the shade that envelopes it
is black. The skirt seems longer on the dress, yet there doesn't seem
to be any slit.
"Why must I choose?" I ask.
"MOMO's birthday is tomorrow, KOS-MOS," she informs me, "we're throwing
her a surprise party, and we're all going to try and look our best."
"Is something wrong with my current attire?" I ask.
"It's not that, it's just...," she finds herself at a loss for words.
"I prefer the red one in that case," I tell her.
"I knew you'd say that," Shion exclaims as she throws the other uniform
on the nearby chair. "Hm, we'll probably have to fix your hair and..."
"A party," the air suddenly speaks, "a time when humans gather to
entertain each other. Perhaps the same can happen with us."
I turn to where I though I heard the voice of the air, but I find
nothing, nor do my sensors pick up any other living matter within the
vicinity. My OS doesn't seem to be malfunctioning, it was repaired two
hours shortly after Proto Merkabah collapsed. Perhaps it is that boy,
chaos, toying with my sensors, walking through the door without opening
it just like in our first encounter. No, that is not possible, the
voice recognition of both the boy and this new voice have a 0.00003%
probability of being the same person. So who was it that...?
"Hey, is something wrong, KOS-MOS?" Shion asks once more, interrupting
my thoughts.
"No," I shake my head.
"We are bound KOS-MOS," my thoughts begin to linger on the voice once
more, "bound by the companion Man has created. And so, my darling, we
are bound to one another."
'Bound?' I think to myself. 'I am bound to no one but her,' I turn to
Shion as she folds the dress I chose, 'yet I am also bound to...'
"Bound to what?" Shion suddenly asks.
"...it's nothing," I lie for the final time today.
'That voice again,' I conclude the identity of the air's call. 'The
same one that was calling for me not too long ago and the same one
that...'
My thoughts come to a halt at that moment upon the realization of the
link between the voice and my dreams. My scanners have made the
approximation that there is a 95.99998% probability that the voice is
the same one as the one from my first dream. For some reason, I do not
want to believe this logic, it just can't be true. It couldn't be her,
could it?
Next time: "A party is a time when many gather to celebrate. They
smile, they dance, they eat, but most of all, they are happy. Yet one
individual can ruin that happiness, the slightest mistake could destroy
the occasion. But what happens when that individual could not help
what has happened, they could not control their actions; does it really
destroy that happiness?"
Author's Note: Well, how was it? Kinda slow at first, but yeah, the
story will pick up in the next chapter (hopefully). Anyway, the
concept behind this story came from the manga series "Chobits" by the
all female manga team of Clamp (namely the whole Chi and Dark Chi
thing, just that I made the "dark" version of the character more evil
in this fic). For those who read the preview of "Bound" at the end of
"Warm," that scene will probably still appear in this story, although
there will be numerous changes to it as it does not envision the type
of persona I want to give to the archetype. Anyway, reviews are
welcome as long as they're not flames and the such. Well, I guess
that's it for now, I hope you've enjoyed this fic so far, so until the
next chapter is up, later people!
Onwards to Part 2
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