Zero One One Zero One
Zero.
One.
Anyway you look at it.
0.
1.
These numbers never lie. These numbers are never false. They create
worlds humans can not even imagine. They form a language humans can
not even read. Zero. And One. One. And Zero. The deep glow of green
digital numbers passes over my view, into my mind, through my skin.
The same two numbers over and over in pulsing patterns delighting my
day. I am happy in that world. That world is never boring. And yet...
lately....
It is.
And it has everything to do with what happened weeks ago. And that is
there I will have to begin.
000011011011100001101010101000011111100010100101010010100011111010000011
100011010001010010101010101010100100000100101000101010010100101010010100
101010010101010101000110101011101010100011101010101001010101000101010101
010101010100010101010011011010001010010001100101010101010011110100011010
101010100001011111010101010101010101010101010101010111100110000110101000
1100110010000011010101010101100011100110011010101001110001110001010100
It was as clear as anything could be. I understood what it said
without a need to even translate it. But for those that are simple,
those that are far from perfection... I shall reveal the meaning. It
says: Kamui is in Tokyo.
Without even blinking The Beast, my beloved... More than just a
computer but an organism created of zero and one... As real and alive
as anything can be. But the Beast is perfect. The Beast knows only
what is true. And truth is simple in the digital, the networks, and
the electric and static. Truth is as I have said before, 0 and 1. The
Beast released me so that I might inform Kanoe and Yuto of the
situation. Beast does not like it when I am away. And I... I am not
comfortable away from the Beast.
As I jumped down to the cool concrete floor Yuto was waiting. He
catches me sometimes; his warm hands wrapping around my waist making
me feel things I am uncertain of. I would ask Beast for an answer but
I know better and I know that there is possibly no answer that would
suit me. Whatever the case he was there, smiling, blond hair a bit
mussed, and as polite as ever he set me on the ground. She was there
too.
Kanoe.
She was a surprising first. Always a surprise and even though I never
asked her about her business, though I do not converse with her much,
among the animals called human she is only one of two that has been
able to take me by surprise. Kanoe is never boring. There was an
expression on her face that was hard to place. Clearly it was a smile,
lush red lips stretched across her face, brown eyes fixed and focused.
This expression is common for Kanoe, and perhaps I am naïve but there
is something almost wolfish about the way she watches me sometimes.
Something similar to the feel of Yuto's arms around my waist washed
through me causing confusion to take hold. Shaking it aside I put my
glasses on and prepared to speak.
"What does the Beast say?" Kanoe's voice reminded me of a song. I even
began to put the equation together that would explain how her voice
was able to create the sound.
Remembering myself I replied, "Kamui is in Tokyo." My voice was soft,
and though I'm sure no one could tell… it was also slightly
hoarse. There is no need for words, or voice in the realms of networks
I travel in. My voice goes unused for days at a time. Speaking is
primitive anyway, but humans can not seem to let go of it.
"Very good." Kanoe again. She moved a bit closer to me, resting a hand
on my shoulder. The other she used to gently move my gaze to met her
near predatory eyes. She does this often. I tend to look at the floor
or avert my eyes elsewhere when I speak to her. Looking right at her
tends to increase my heart rate. Causes that feeling I am constantly
unsure of. "If you find anything else come and tell me... anytime",
Kanoe likes to tease me.
I watched her as she walked off. Lost in a familiar pull and as I
watched I realized that there was a kind voice trying to get my
attention. I turned to face Yuto who smiled.
"Want some tea?" His voice is always gentle, brotherly. "Or maybe
something to eat?"
"No thank you", I answered swiftly. "I'm not hungry right now."
"Of course... well I'll let you get back then."
010000111110010101010101010101010101000000101010111110011101010101010101
011100010101110101010111000110101110101010101010101010101011101010101010
10101010101010101010000100000000010111111101110010101011
The reminder banners popped up in precise sequential bursts. I ignored
all of them. I wasn't in the mood for anything but systems,
information. I was so close to discovering something important about
Kamui. But Beast disconnected me. A sigh escaped my lips. As much as
Beast wanted me near as much as the other systems and networks,
computers wanted me they know all too well I am human. I am not
perfect. I need rest and food. A lingering wire remained for a moment
as I whispered my disappointment.
"If I were to die they could have me forever."
And I briefly wondered if making such a statement was a mistake.
Beast does not disconnect me unless it is vital. It checks on my signs
of life at all times. Once I stayed connected for two weeks before
Beast released me forcing me to confront my imperfections.
The last remaining wire departed from my skin and I jumped into the
light fluorescent glow of the room that holds Beast. The growl in my
stomach was not to be ignored, so I staggered a path into the small
kitchen. Prepared what I needed and ate.
There was no doubting that it made me feel better, but it also made me
sleepy and I... I do not like to sleep. Sleep leads to dreams that are
mere memories of the past. Times of my captivity washing through my
mind. The less I sleep though... The more I stay away from it... the
easier it is to dream of things that are better. And those dreams are
all in code. Ones and zeroes, creating things only those numbers can,
perfection, and a place that makes me happy.
With ease I made my way to the room Kanoe put together for me. She
knew I would have little use for it, but it was there for the off
moment when I did. My eyes were heavy and as I fell into the bed my
mind drifted over to the thought of Kanoe and the things she could do.
She could walk through dreams, see what people wished. As my eyes shut
I wondered if she ever entered my dreams, and if somewhere in the code
she saw my wish.
I woke sometime late the next evening. A tired grin inching at the
very corner of my mouth as I noticed clothes set out for me, neat and
pressed.
"Yuto", his name escaped my lips almost a question. Again he surprises
me, and again I am left to ponder the slight swell in my chest from
the very mention of his name.
After dressing I made my way back to Beast and I passed Kanoe's room.
I knew what was going on without having to look, but the door was
ajar. Open just enough for me to see Kanoe and Yuto. And the jealousy
that was clearly felt at the sight was, as always, decidedly
misdirected. Because I am never really sure... Am I jealous because
she gets to have him, or is it because he gets to have her? I pondered
it just long enough for a second question to spring into my head, one
that caused a bit of fear and excitement. Would either really mind if
I walked in and joined them?
I reached out and shut the door to Kanoe's room and continued back to
Beast, and I swore I heard Kanoe chuckle.
"Why does she tease me?"
010101010000000000110110111111111010101000000001010101000000000000000101
010101010111111110101010101010000011100001110001010100010101010100101000
111101010001011010100010100000100101111111101000000000101111111111101010
010100000000001001010100001001010111110000010010101010000000000101011111
111111010101111111101010101010101010101010101010101010101010001111101101
"Gemini?" The word escaped my throat as Beast continued its analysis.
I wondered what it meant since beast couldn't find an answer. I
released myself from Beast's grip, the visor slipped away, leaving my
eyes to adjust to the light.
She was there. Waiting for me as if she had known I found something. I
looked around and noticed Yuto was not with her. A strange thing since
he always seems to be with her. I surmised that perhaps he was still
at work.
I jumped down, a quick and near flawless motion. Utterly shocked as I
realized she was going to catch me, guide my feet to the ground. She
is not nearly as strong as he is, but the feel of her arms around my
waist made my temperature rise. I was certain there was a flush across
my cheeks. If there was she said nothing. She just smiled, and it grew
broader as I pulled back from her.
"What's the news", Kanoe asked softly and standing just a bit closer
than usual.
"No news" I replied fixing my gaze to the ground. I looked up to meet
her almost hungry eyes when I realized how noticeable my avoidance of
her was. "Something to do with Kamui, a word repeated about him many
times."
"And what is that word?"
"Gemini", I said flatly.
"Good..." And she paused there for a moment or two, looking me over
and leaving me to wonder what passed through her mind. Her wolfish
grin returned to her face and she asked, before I could retreat back
to the Beast, "Would you care for some tea? Or a light dinner?"
"I-"
"Yuto has to stay late", she continued. "Some bizarre civil servant
meeting."
I do not know why I question the things I feel. Maybe it is because I
truly do not wish to feel anything. It would be better to be
completely void of feelings I think. There would be no worries then.
Everything could be simple and defined...like zero and 1. One and 0.
She was very patient as she waited for my reply. She always has been
and before I could say yes or no she chuckled.
"But I suppose dinner or tea with just me would be... boring."
It was the single word that made me follow her to her room. The single
thought that I would consider her boring. She was never boring. As I
walked behind her I could feel Beast's scanners watching me leave. It
burned a bit, the way a harsh stare would. And I began to think for a
moment that maybe...but no that was ridiculous.
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11111111111111
The tea service was set up neatly. A few sandwiches lay precisely on a
platter, sweets angled just so on a dish next to them. I took the seat
I always took, and Kanoe did the same. We ate and sipped the tea in
perfect silence. And after all that could be was consumed I rose from
my seat to leave. I was stopped as her hands rested on my shoulders.
She's taller than I am, and she carries herself in such a way that it
feels like she towers above me.
"K-Kanoe?"
"Where are you running to? Don't you want to keep me company for a
bit?" The words were whispered into my ear, close and sweet like a
summer breeze.
That uncomfortable and unsure sensation began to build. I turned to
face her, tried to look her in the eye, but couldn't. Her left hand
slipped from its light hold of my shoulder, her arm slyly inching
around my waist. I understood her intent, but not her reason. She had
Yuto.
"Why do you tease me?" I couldn't even believe the words left my
mouth.
The grin on her face grew a bit. "Do I tease you... Satsuki?" A naïve
question from lips that were not innocent and I don't imagine they
ever could be.
I did not have time to even answer as she pulled me closer. Out of
reflex alone I uttered what I thought was defense, "But Yuto?"
"What about Yuto?"
"Y-you and he-"
"Been watching have you?"
"I-"
"He likes you too you know?"
"I-"
"But maybe you don't like him like that", she let me go then and why I
just didn't run is beyond my comprehension. "Your dreams", she began
again. Inching toward me, capturing me again in something that was
unexpected. "Your dreams are strange Satsuki. I'm not sure I even got
it right. But... let's see if I came close."
And all at once I found myself backed up against the door of Kanoe's
room. Her weight pushed into me and her lips lightly brushing against
mine before taking them completely.
It was strange, because as it began I started to write code. I formed
equations that explained the physics of the situation. She must have
known, because I felt her press a bit closer. I gasped and let her
take over. My arms wrapping around her neck, fingers tangled in her
hair. I'm sure I was lost, because I can barely remember the rest.
Exciting and exhilarating, never boring... how could being with her
ever be boring?
000000001010101010101010101001011111111111010101000000001011000000000101
001110001010111100011110001001111111101010101010101010000011111111110110
10010011110101010100101001010001011101111110101010010101
Later, just before Yuto returned from work, I woke.
Had I dreamed it all?
No.
No. It wasn't a dream, because there she was next to me, pink satin
sheets pulled up around her. My heart raced and I scurried for my
things. Hurried to escape, this was too confusing. There was no
perfect answer for it. As I moved about I heard her stir. Too dark to
properly see I knew she was sitting up watching me. I knew that grin
was planted on her face, her eyes devouring me all over again, because
once is never enough for her.
"Satsuki?" Her voice likes to play up my spine and I froze in my
tracks inches from the door.
I look over at where I know she is, puzzled.
"Did I read the code correctly? Was that close enough to your
expectations?"
"I-I..." For the first time I can recall I wished I could truly
express my emotions. I wished... I could tell her I was confused and
excited, happy, and something else I'm not sure was true, but I
couldn't. I couldn't find an answer that was perfect so I just said,
"It wasn't boring."
"Good... very good."
And that is all that occurred.
I'm traveling through networks right now. I have a purpose, a someone
to find. Or perhaps it is a something. The name flashes throughout the
code: Nataku. Perhaps it is an Angel of the Earth. I probe further.
And as I do I want to believe there is significance to what happened
that night. What it means to someone such as I to feel those things in
another's arms. Things that can not be written in 0 or 1, one or zero.
What does it mean? What does it mean and why are these numbers, this
endless code... why isn't this puzzle holding my interest like it used
to? And the memory of Kanoe's lips on mine races through my head
suddenly. Ow!
Beast?
That hurts...
And that is a strange bit of code I can barely make it out. It
couldn't mean what I think it does? Could it?
01010101010111111111010110101010101010101010101S0TSU1IISMINE010101010100
110101011010101010101010101010SATSUKII1M0NE0101101010101010101010101010I
SMINE0101011010101010101010101010101010101ISMINE010101010110101010101010
10101010101011SATSUKIISMINE101010100111010001110101010101110101011101101
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