Violet-Orange to Orange-Violet

a Revolutionary Girl Utena fanfiction by Alithea

It was all at once unrest and ease lying there in the dark with 
Shiori's light weight pressed into her, and reminding her of 
everything she never thought she would have. Her hazel eyes peered 
through the dark of her room to watch the red digits of her clock 
change. And just as she was resigned to fall into sleep, fall into 
something that still liked to elude her, the girl in her arms began to 
stir. Petite fingers tickling trails down the fencer's neck and soon 
replaced by soft lips. An act of possession on the violet-eyed girl's 
part, but it was common. Juri was used to it and she hardly remembered 
a lover who did not feel the need to hold onto her with every ounce of 
strength so she wouldn't slip away. She grinned under the shallow 
moonlight. Juri was never the one to slip away, she never did any of 
the leaving and she found it funny. This was very different form the 
rest though. This was a different kind of possession and it was 
probably unhealthy. And it would probably leave her feeling numb, but 
it was her wish. Who was she to deny miracles? A prince she had not 
expected had proved them possible a million times.

The sleepy and eager lips gracing her pale skin slipped down her 
slender form. Trailing down her chest, her stomach until finally there 
was little for Juri Arisugawa to do but whisper a moan. Letting Shiori 
do as she willed. Take what she wanted to take and in the very end 
give the things that the stoic angel never asked for but was grateful 
for nonetheless. Like little prayers the beautiful panther let 
Shiori's name escape her lips in haut breaths and short gasps, only to 
be quickly silenced by innocent and cruel lips upon her own. Drowning 
her in a kiss that was all consuming. And when it broke she wondered 
what it was that sparked in Shiori's eyes.

"What are you thinking", Juri whispered unexpectedly.

"Does it matter", was the icy reply. Slender arms wrapping around the 
fencer's neck followed in short by another long kiss. Shiori pulled 
back and looked deeply into her lover's eyes a sudden look of worry on 
her face. "What would you do if I left you right now? Never came back, 
ignored you the rest of your life, spread rumors of our affair all 
over the campus?"

"I'm quite sure… I'd be sad and hurt for a while. And then I would 
shrug it off because it's what I expected from the beginning."

"Don't you trust me"; Shiori tilted her head slightly as she asked the 
question. With the lack of proper lighting she looked nearly angelic. 
She smiled then and sighed, "No… Why would you trust me? I wouldn't 
trust me."

Juri shut her eyes for a half a second. In a brief moment reliving 
everything that had ever transpired between the two. Their doomed 
childhood friendship. The cruel words and harsh glances they exchanged 
between classes. The sudden affection and the aching pull of lust that 
seemed to hold them together. As her hazel eyes reopened she caught a 
familiar glance from the girl above her, one of indecisive care and 
something like love. She'd caught those glances before from the girl, 
those looks of shame at feeling anything true.

"Shiori", Juri called lightly. "What made you come to me that night? 
What keeps you here in my bed?"

The girl slipped from her position onto her side. Let her head rest on 
the fencer's shoulder, and a hand on the young woman's chest. "Nothing 
but the usual brought me to your door that night. You know that", 
Shiori whispered. "I was planning to love you and leave you. Break 
your heart so I could reaffirm my belief that you were pathetic. "

"I see. But you didn't", Juri remarked. "What made you change your 
plans?"

"I…" She stopped short as if she were afraid of what the answer was. 
Perhaps she was ashamed of her feelings and perhaps she really didn't 
understand what it was. The things that kept her in Juri's embrace and 
made her never want to leave. She couldn't put an emotion behind it, a 
word that sounded true. "I'm not sure."

The confession was a dreamy kind of thing. The stoic angel held Shiori 
tighter and accepted the answer for what it was. And slowly the two 
fell into the bliss of sleep.

Not unexpectedly Juri woke to find herself alone. She sighed briefly 
as she sat up in bed, brushing her mass of auburn curls back with a 
graceful hand.

"So it begins again", she whispered.

The green of the grass
And the feel of your skin
They are the same
Soft and bitter
An aching to fill my need
A song to devour my soul
Is it always the same with you
Will there never be anything true
As you kill me with every breath

The day lingered on like a sad song. The Ohtori college campus was 
much like the high school. Filled with strange paths and odd shadows. 
But it was infinitely more comfortable than its predecessor and less 
mysterious. No bizarre happenings occurred that Juri was aware of and 
much as in high school she was aware of everything that was going on. 
She didn't question the gift of gathering knowledge she had; things 
just fell into her lap when she wanted them to. And of course she 
retained her old nickname as the panther, faculty members where still 
wary of her glances. It was an odd power to have over people, and she 
rarely found need to use it.

She went from class to class with little incident. Over heard the 
latest gossip and she was not part of any of it. Her hazel eyes 
wandered about the campus as she walked along searching for the 
innocently cruel face that had left her. Juri wondered if Shiori would 
do what she had done when they were younger, just leave the school 
with no good byes or reason. Then just as she was sure she had a fix 
on where things where going there was Shiori. Huddled in with a group 
of girls yammering on about some little and unimportant thing. One of 
the girls in the group nudged Shiori as Juri walked by.

"Isn't that your girlfriend", the random girl asked with a blushing 
smile and mocking tone.

Shiori didn't pay any attention to her. Her violet eyes just moved 
over the fencer's valiant form She involuntarily found her self 
walking after the panther. Her petite hand suddenly catching a bit of 
Juri's jacket. The fencer stopped and looked over her shoulder, faced 
the girl and waited.

"I'm sorry", violet eyes wandered to the ground.

"Why?" The tone was warm and open, trusting. Juri didn't know how to 
use her cold and chilled tones on the girl any longer. Even if she was 
being ripped to shreds she just couldn't be knowingly cruel, not to 
Shiori, to that delicate butterfly with poison wings that made her 
smile through a fog of pain.

"Don't."

"What?" Juri asked again softly. "Don't what Shiori?"

"Don't be so damned gentle with me. I'm not a delicate butterfly that 
will crumble under you"; the girl replied a bit harshly.

"Fine then." The stoic angel took a breath let her glance become a 
little chilled. "You won't crumble, but maybe I will. Maybe I can't 
squash you because it'll hurt me more. But that's all beside the 
point. Why are you apologizing?"

"For not saying good bye this morning."

Near cold hazel eyes warmed and shut briefly, sadly. "Are you leaving 
for good?"

"I'm not sure."

"Then I won't wait for you"; Juri replied and walked off back to her 
dorm.

So I thought I understood all your motives
And I thought I knew all your games
If you broke me I wouldn't be surprised
I'm prepared to be crushed under the whole of you
To be lost under the darkness of your kiss
The bitterness of your voice
The cruelty of your heart
But what to do…
Yes what to do if you have given up your past reason
If you have changed your ways
Can I save myself from the weight of your care
Your sincerity
Your love

Pulling her thick auburn locks back into a ponytail she began the 
short task of cleaning her room. The small mess had a way of getting 
out of hand quickly. She picked up fallen articles of clothing and 
threw them into the hamper. Made her bed in a sort of haphazard manner 
that would have made her mother roll her eyes in disbelief. She picked 
through a random pile of books and cards stopping briefly as her eyes 
caught sight of an old note. It was scribbled in small handwriting. A 
simple nothing kind of note:

Going out with friends. Won't be over tonight. You're out of orange 
juice. I'll try and pick some up.

And then a little heart and the name: Shiori.

Juri crumpled the note in her hand and threw it into the trash and 
continued her cleaning. She tried not to be hurt, so she cleaned. 
Cleaned, and tried not to laugh at the metaphor of needing to clean up 
her room after the brief conversation she had had with her cruel love. 
The brilliant fencer tried not to linger on the hurt of being left as 
she was. Hazel eyes moved over to the mess that awaited her in the 
small kitchenette. She sighed at the large pile of dishes as she 
walked over.

The water was fixed into a comfortable temperature and she scrubbed 
away the grime, and dried the dishes. Put them politely into their 
correct spots and then began to wipe the counter down. Just before she 
was ready to mop the tiny bit of linoleum that served as her kitchen 
floor a slight rap on her door rescued her. Her long legs took nimbly 
over and she took a deep breath as she swung the door open. She was 
not prepared for the face that met her.

"Kozue?"

An ocean blue eyebrow popped up and the young woman smiled a bit. "May 
I come in for a minute?"

"I suppose", was the steady yet slightly chilled answer. "What can I 
do for you?"

Kozue sighed and took a seat on the bed. "You can help me get Shiori 
out of my room."

She stared wide-eyed for a bit, mouth slightly agape. Then her eyes 
narrowed a bit. "Why is she in your room?"

The ocean eyed young woman shrugged and then mentioned, "Because I 
have a full bar." She paused and watched the fencer cross the room. 
"And because that's where she goes when you two have a…Well I wouldn't 
know what to call what you two have", she quipped. "Mind explaining it 
to me?"

"It's something like love", Juri replied curtly. "Only it never quite 
makes it. She always runs away. I don't think she wants to fall in 
love with me."

Kozue huffed in irritation. "My that was deja-vu. Only you were sober 
when you said it. Look", she looked the stoic angel dead in the eye. 
"She's hurt and intoxicated. Crying and making confessions that are 
not for my ears. And I think you should go and get her before she 
decides to something really stupid like call up and old boyfriend."

Juri clenched her jaw slightly and then with a heavy sigh stated, " 
Lead the way."

I wish I knew what to do with you
A bottle at a time
A bottle at a time
And I wish I knew what to say to you
A drink at a time
A drink at a time
Because I lose myself in this liquid wasteland
Lose myself to forget your touch
Only to find myself deep in your memory
Only to find myself drunk with just you in my thoughts
Tell me what to do with you
A bottle at a time
Tell me what to say
A drink at a time
Leave me sober with your intoxicating smiles

She was huddled over in a corner, eyes shut, violet hair mussed and a 
petite hand clutching desperately to a half-empty bottle of scotch. 
Juri shook her head sadly at the sight. And glared at Kozue as she 
removed the bottle from Shiori's hand.

"Why do you let her do this", Juri asked as she handed Kozue the 
bottle.

"I am not her baby sitter"; the ocean eyed young woman replied. "And I 
couldn't stop her anyway. Don't blame me for this."

"I don't", Juri replied. "Thank you."

"For what?" Kouze asked with a grin.

The stoic angel shook her head and collected Shiori into her arms. As 
she stepped out of the door she gave Kozue another nod of thanks and 
added, "She's lucky to have you as a friend."

"She's lucky to have both of us. And you're really lucky I'm a 
friendly ex", she joked as the fencer slipped down the hall.

And dreams are all I need
Dreams of you to bring me down to the blue
And it's in the blue I'll whisper everything to you

Juri laid Shiori down on her bed. Pulled the covers over her. Set an 
empty garbage can at the side of the bed just in case. She took a 
blanket and curled up in a corner and read for a bit before drifting 
off to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night a weary Shiori Takatsuki awoke. 
Her head hurt a bit but she expected that after chugging down half a 
bottle of scotch. Her violet eyes stretched through the darkness 
immediately recognizing the room as Juri's. She silently cursed Kozue 
for calling Juri to get her. Searching a bit more in the darkness she 
caught the panther's sleeping form in a corner. She shook her head and 
headed into the bathroom, nearly blinding herself with the light. As 
her eyes adjusted she noticed the large glass of water on the sink and 
the little note taped up to the mirror: Drink all the water in the 
glass before you leave the dorm. And take the bottle water by the door 
with you as well.

The note was not signed, but it didn't need to be. She dutifully drank 
all the water and took a few aspirins as well. As she reentered the 
bedroom she looked over at Juri and felt a slight pain in her chest. 
She swallowed her fear and walked over to the sleeping fencer.

"Hey Juri?" She nudged the sleeping angel a bit. "Juri wake up."

A hazel eye opened slowly and focusing on the figure before her sprang 
up, "What's wrong?"

"I…I…" Shiori shook her head and then whispered, "Come to bed. You 
shouldn't have slept on the floor just because-"

"Wasn't sure you'd want me there when you woke", Juri replied. "Why'd 
you do that?"

"Do what?"

The panther's face was washing a bit cold. "Why did you feel the need 
to drink half a bottle of scotch?"

Shiori climbed back into the bed, removing her skirt along the way. 
She settled into her side of the bed and sighed, "I wanted to forget 
you for a while."

"Why?" Juri concern could be heard as well as felt as she slid in next 
to Shiori. A little sadness lost in the color of her eyes.

"Because I don't know what makes me need you. After all we've done to 
each other…or after all I've done to you why would you want me close?" 
She turn over on her side, face to the wall.

Juri scooted closer and draped an arm around the girl's waist. Fumbled 
for her hand and held it tightly. "Well I love you Shiori. I can't 
seem to escape you. And maybe I could eventually but I can't because I 
know you love me too. If you are trying to forget me, if you want to 
hurt me because you don't know what to do with being close… Then maybe 
we shouldn't be close. Maybe we should try being friends, just 
friends."

There was nothing but silence around them, until giving in Shiori 
turned to face Juri. Violet eyes locking on hazel through the muddled 
darkness. Her petite hand trailing down the fencer's face.

"We've been friends before"; Shiori whispered. "And this is where we 
always end up."

"True." Juri leaned in a bit closer.

Violet eyes closed, "I can't let you kiss me tonight. Let me sleep on 
it."

"If you end up being gone in the morning", Juri stated. "I won't have 
to wonder."

"No… I guess you won't."

Somehow I knew
When I woke up
I knew what you wanted
Everything you ever felt
Somehow I knew it was all true
It was real
Nothing to doubt
Nothing to wonder
I knew

Juri's graceful hand moved through violet locks slowly, then her hazel 
eyes opened. And Shiori was still there holding onto the fencer as if 
her life depended on it. As if letting go meant the end of the world 
or worse. The stoic angel smiled and placed a small kiss on the girl's 
head. Shiori stirred a bit and then fell back into sleep. A long while 
later Shiori opened her eyes and was greeted with the panther's lovely 
smile.

"Good morning love", Juri whispered.

"Good morning", Shiori replied softly.

"You stayed."

"I did."

"Did you mean to?"

"Yes."

"Good", Juri whispered.

She shifted her position so she was hovering slightly over Shiori's 
face. Kissed the girl lightly and waited for an invitation to take it 
deeper. And when it was given the fencer did her best to make it last 
for as long as possible. Juri pulled back a bit and noticed that look 
in Shiori's eyes. That spark of something she couldn't describe.

"What are you thinking", the stoic angel asked softly.

"I'm thinking I love you too much for my own good. I'm thinking I 
don't know what I'd do if you left me right now and never saw me 
again."

Juri captured the girl's lips once again. Let her hand trail down the 
innocently cruel face she needed, wanted, adored. And pulled away just 
long enough to recognize the same need, want and adoration reflected 
back in beautiful violet pools.

Violet orange
Contrast to taste
Darkness to white
Contrast to light
To feel a burn
To pull it in
To feast of the heart
And revel in sin
Orange violet
Second to none
Violet pools
Raining down form above
Orange petals dancing
Lasting in love
And to burn
Bright
And to burn
Long
And to burn
Lasting
And to burn
Strong
This is our song
This is our song

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