The ride home was bumpier than the ride to Houou. Japan at night whizzed by dizzyingly and I started to feel a little sick, watching the lights blur beneath me. I was glad to land and stand upon solid ground again. I decided to take a cab to my place, despite the extra cost. I was tired and needed some sleep. The first thing I noticed was the light on in my apartment window. The second was that two figures were silhouetted by the light, standing casually - like they belonged there. I trudged up to the door and slammed into the room, trying to startle them senseless. It half worked. Kaoru Miki looked like he had just been shot, but my client was not in the least perturbed. At the moment I didn’t much care. I wasn’t very happy to have guests after my day. Hell, after my week. I thought hard about turning around and going to stay in a hotel for the night, but changed my mind after I saw the look on Miki’s face. He looked years younger than when I saw him in his office. Like a weight had been lifted from his soul. It was obvious that the two had been talking, but Miki still stood, one hand raised in a gesture, as he had been when I burst in. Surprised, he had forgotten to lower it. As he recognized me, it sank to his side. "At the risk of being rude, I did not plan on guests tonight. So, Mr. Kaoru, please say what you have to say to me, without preamble or digression. I will give you ten minutes." He looked abashed, but Anshi stepped between us. "It was my fault. I apologize. I was standing outside when he came to your building. I convinced the doorman to let us in here." She shot me a look and I knew enough not to ask for further details. I turned to Miki, who was still looking a bit hangdog, and waved him into one of the chairs. Anshi offered to make tea and I let her. I sat facing Miki and waited for him to speak. "When you left my office," he started a bit hesitantly, "I must have given you the impression of being a very unhealthy person. That wasn’t quite true. I am, except for those spells, in exceptional health." I cleared my throat and he jumped slightly. "Yes, you said without preamble, my apologies." He arranged his thoughts for a moment and began. "When I graduated from Ohtori, Utena had been gone for years, you know. Ten years is a long time to see clearly the events that one has experienced. Even life-shaping ones. After you left me, I was unconscious for several days. When I awoke, I had most of my memory of those days in Ohtori returned to me. For the first time in years I could see Utena’s face and Miss Himemiya’s here," he nodded to Anshi who had returned bearing a tray, "and I thought I would come here and try to help you. You know, see if I could remember anything significant." He looked from me to Anshi and back. I took a cup and drank the tea. It was strong and bitter. "Thank you, but I don’t think that will be necessary. The case is almost complete." Miki looked disappointed. "Oh, well, then I guess I’ll be going." He stood and smiled at Anshi. "You’ll come to the university to visit me one day I hope?" She put out a hand and they clasped hands. Smiling, she assured him that she would. Miki said that he’d let himself out and without digression, he did. Nice kid. I bet he was a good teacher. I drank my tea in silence. Anshi said nothing, either. The two of us sat in that companionable quiet, where two old friends can just be themselves with each other. At last the tea was finished. And so was I. I cleaned up the cups and tray and returned to my chair. Anshi sat, her head down, her hands linked in her lap. I didn’t know where to begin. Or how to end this game. "I found her." My voice was harsh and Anshi’s head snapped up. She looked into my eyes, for a moment a ray of hope lighting her face, then the guards fell once again and her eyes went blank. "You’ve found Utena?" She asked quietly, her eyes searching my face. "Yes, but I need your help. I know where she is, Anshi…but I can’t get to her. Please, help me?" I reached out and put my hand over hers. She took my hand in her own, her brown fingers intertwining with my paler ones. I stood and pulled her up with me. We kissed for what seemed like hours. When we finally pulled apart, I said softly, "This is goodbye, isn’t it?" She nodded, then laid her head on my shoulder. "The last time I’ll ever see you." I said, then lifted her face to kiss her once again. Our lovemaking was frenetic, desperate. We both knew that this would be over as soon as it started. We had no future together, just as we had no past. *** Anshi had made more tea. We lay in bed, eating cookies and drinking, while the night wore on. Our words were few; there was really nothing to say. Looking out into the room, Anshi asked me if I’d ever heard of a drug called Cantarella. I hadn’t. "The Borgias used it to poison their political enemies." "Really?" I asked, not at all interested. Time was ticking down for us. "Yes." She said. "I’ve put some in the tea." She continued. "That’s funny…" I looked at her and thought how strange she was, how mesmerizing. "Because I poisoned the cookies." We both laughed at that. Then the cup she was holding fell lifeless from her hand and the cookie I held in mine slipped to the bed. As tea slid across the bedclothes, numbness spread over me, and my heart slowed, then my breath. My last thought was of something that Touga had said. "It could have been good between us. Only…it wasn’t."
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