Short Release

a Revolutionary Girl Utena fanfiction by Alithea

She wasn't sure what it was. Maybe she still felt hurt by her brother. 
Maybe it was the betrayal she felt by her parents…no…not her parents, 
her adoptive parents. Whoever her real parents were, they were dead or 
didn't care. All she knew is that she didn't want to go home. She 
didn't want to face anyone or anything. To top everything off the 
duels had ended and not a soul, save her brother and the rest of the 
student council really remembered what had happened. Perhaps there 
were a few, though very small and select a group, who knew all the 
strange things that, had been going on that year, but she doubted it 
really. No one talked about it. Not even her brother. And maybe that's 
what made her angry…made her want to stay awake all night wandering 
the school grounds. How could he not talk about her? How could he act 
like nothing happened, ignore the implications of it? She tried to. 
Tried to forget that she knew anything about it but she couldn't 
forget. Couldn't forget and couldn't find anyone to help her clear it 
up inside her head. She was just confused by it all. And it was when 
she pondered the questions she realized she was no where near being an 
adult. She was just a highly popular and influential girl. That was 
all, and it made her feel ill. Whatever (one or all things) it was 
Nanami Kiryuu wasn't ready to understand it yet. And despite her best 
efforts…she didn't want to.

Guessing at the time she leaned against the wall of the music room, 
hoping that maybe Miki would be practicing. Someone was practicing, 
but it wasn't Miki. There was an innocence missing in the tone as each 
key was hit…not to mention the random miss placed finger that caused 
the melody to stray. She shut her eyes for half a moment, realizing it 
didn't matter who played just as long as she could hear a song and 
escape. Her thoughts drifted as the unseen pianist continued to play, 
and then her wandering mind was halted as a soft voice joined the 
piano.

"All I have is all I lose", the voice sang. "But I don't care it's 
what I choose…"

She managed to keep her curiosity at bay for a long while. Letting the 
words of the song infect her like a stray virus…or maybe it was a 
vaccine. It hardly mattered what the song was, only that it made her 
feel safe. It was odd but the more the mystery musician played the 
less mistakes were made, the more the soft voice eased into 
confidence. And just when she was sure the music was going to save her 
it stopped. 

All I have is all I lose
But I don't care it's what I choose
It's what I let break
It's everything I take
And it goes
It goes
Spills from these hands
Taken from where I stand
I lose
I lose
But it's what I choose
It's what I choose

"Isn't it cold out there", a recognizably cruel voice called from 
inside the music room.

"No", Nanami replied with some anger. Glancing over she caught sight 
of the mystery pianist. She didn't want that girl to be the one who 
was playing. She didn't want that music to have come from someone like 
that. "I thought you didn't play."

"I don't", was the easy reply. She poked her head out of the window 
and smiled. It was so interesting the way the girl reacted to her. 
Laughable really. "I just sort of mess around." 

She was ready to leave, but then she remembered the only other place 
to go was…home. And she couldn't go there, not yet…maybe not ever. 

"Are you sure it isn't too cold out there", the soft voice broke in 
again. "Looks cold."

Why was she being so nice? It wasn't something Nanami could trust at 
all. Then a brief shiver ran through her. She bit at the anger she 
held inside herself. 

"Why should you care if it's cold or not Kozue", she asked bitterly. 

"I don't care. I'm inside where it's warm", the cruel girl replied. "I 
was just wondering…because you know-"

"I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

Ocean blue eyes narrowed, there was no need to be rude, but then the 
Kiryuu's were all the same. All vain and selfish, plotting and 
manipulating anything they could, for whatever reason they could 
muster. She didn't know why she even bothered to ask. So she shrugged 
and tucked back into the music room, closing the window as she went. 
Nimble fingers running through topaz hair as she took her seat at the 
piano, a slight smirk twisting onto her face as she played. 

Time to go home
Time to rest
And little girl
I know best

She wasn't assuming anything, because she never did. It was how she 
avoided disappointment. But years of playing the cruel gave her an eye 
for those in need. She could tell when someone needed a reason to let 
go, or a reason to hold on, and whatever it was she knew she could 
offer it. She mastered seduction like her brother had mastered the 
piano. She let a small giggled sigh leave her lips as she thought 
about the poor lost and lonely little girl outside. That cute, not 
pretty, young thing whom was working at being just as cruel and 
manipulative as the student council president was. But it was all a 
lie, and Kozue knew it better than anyone else ever would. Touga was 
just another pawn in the game, another piece to be moved around the 
board. She knew that, and she knew it because she was just as much a 
pawn as he was. Everything may have changed. The not so secret game 
lying dead in the wake of the chairman's defeat. The campus was 
colder, the weather odder…and those around her were all striving for a 
change in their life. Her deep blue eyes caught the symptoms 
everywhere, even within herself. Like the chains around everyone's 
neck had been suddenly cut leaving uncertain slaves to decide what to 
do next. It was still too early yet to see who and what would change, 
but it was certain to happen. 

She stopped playing as the door opened. A tiny shadow shrinking into 
the room and then disappearing into the corner. She swallowed the 
wicked chuckle that was begging to be released. Her focus shifted into 
the dark little corner as she brought her fingers down onto the 
keyboard. She tickled the keys lightly and then resumed her playing. 

After an endless sea of music a small voice finally broke in, still 
heavy with anger.

"It wasn't cold. I just wanted to-"

"Oh no need to explain", Kozue shot in. "I understand."

The blonde jumped to her feet. "Don't say you understand! You don't! 
No one does! Don't think you ever will!"

She sighed, all that anger. And then she laughed. "Fine then. I don't 
understand. But why are you here…if you don’t mind my asking?"

"I do mind."

"Ah…Okay." She changed the song she was playing to something 
purposefully more dramatic. 

"I…I don't need your help", the girl whispered.

"Never offered you help."

She couldn't see the child but she was sure the girl just stomped her 
foot. 

"I…I-"

"You know you don't have to be here", the cruel girl interrupted again 
striking the keys with easy violence. "I really don't need the company 
either. Why don't you go cry to your big brother or something."

The girl moved into the light a little more. Deep rage clear on her 
young face. "You have no right to talk to me like that. No one can 
talk to me like that. You…You…"

"I'll leave." Kozue cut the song she was playing mid note and stood 
up. She moved across the floor at an easy pace towards the door. "Have 
a pleasant evening… I'll let your brother know you're alright when I 
see him." 

Not even a millisecond passed before the sound of an open palm 
striking skin was heard. It echoed a bit in the room. The blonde who 
had administered the strike flushed with hate, light blue-gray eyes 
flickering with an odd fire. Delicate fingers ran over the slight 
sting, a wicked smirk neatly placed, and ocean blue eyes looking on in 
a cross of innocence and revenge.

"You really need to be careful little girl"; Kozue began. "Play rough 
with a wild animal and you'll most certainly get hurt."

"Shut up!"

The smirk inched a little broader, teeth showing through thin lips. 
"Why are you still so ready to decry anyone who goes near your 
brother?"

"Don't talk about him. You don't know him…he's different now."

"How would you know?" She caught the tiny hand before it struck her. 
Laughing as she reminded, "I told you earlier…if you want to play 
rough…you'll get hurt." 

She spun the girl around; locking the captured hand behind the girl's 
back as she pushed her as hard as she could against the nearest wall. 

"Now", she whispered closely. "I really hate to get into fights. 
Bruises are far from attractive and I have a few dates tomorrow. So 
are you going to behave?"

"Let me go or I'll scream!"

"I'm sure you will"; a wicked voice slid into the seductive. 

Her tense muscles relaxed in confusion at the sudden change in tone. 
And then tensed again as a wandering hand moved down her thigh.

"Wh-what are you doing", still rage in a hushed voice.

The older girl huffed a misplaced laugh. "Keeping you from doing 
anything stupid."

"Let me go Kozue."

"Are you going to behave?"

Her heart was beginning to increase its rhythm, and her hatred was 
getting lost in other emotions she wasn't prepared for. So through 
gritted teeth she replied, "I'll behave. Now let me go."

The cruel girl's weight was lightly removed, elegant fingers releasing 
their hold on a petite wrist. She stepped back a pace just in case the 
youngster felt the need to lash out again, smiling as she greeted a 
sour face. She brushed back a few strands of ocean blue hair, waiting 
for what was coming next. 

"Don't you ever touch me like that again", Nanami commanded softly. 

Kozue fought the easy response and just whispered; "Fine. Just 
remember to control your temper next time."

"I'm serious you know…you had no right-"

"But you had right to slap me", she questioned lightly. "You Kiryuu's 
are a strange breed indeed."

"Why do you insist-"

"I insist on nothing. You are the one who filled the entire evening 
with reasons. You know full well that I don't care about you or your 
brother. I was just here to play the piano." 

She watched the girl's tiny hand ball into a fist and then relax with 
uncertainty. All that rage all the anger and hurt Kozue knew it. She 
had used it to fuel the pain she inflicted upon her twin. She couldn't 
explain when that rage left her, but she knew it had. She didn't hurt 
him on purpose anymore. She hurt others instead; somehow it had become 
more fulfilling that way. She briefly wondered what she wanted to do 
with the child. Wondered if she could turn that deep and seething 
anger into something a little hotter but less violent. She quirked an 
eyebrow as she understood why all that rage had been brought to the 
surface.

"I'm sorry your dreams of salvation were shattered."

"What the hell are you talking about?" She huffed and went about 
straightening her mussed uniform.

"You wanted it to be Miki in here", Kouze said easily. 

"So?"

"So…Are you really that repulsed by me?"

"Yes." 

The answer was too quick. Too easy and blurted out because she didn't 
want to think about why she was so angry. And she was angry. The older 
girl standing so close, she hated her. She was just one of the many 
that her brother had…Well did it really matter what he did with them? 
She had been proved just as unimportant as all the others had. Being 
his sister meant nothing. Her gaze drifted to the floor…why was she so 
angry? What was it she hated exactly? She couldn't describe it…was it 
the lie of not being who she thought she was? Was it the leftover 
sting from the duels? Was it her want? What did she want? Suddenly the 
memory of Kozue's hand drifting down her thigh captured her…she shook 
her head. No it wasn't right to want that. And so lost in her thoughts 
she didn't even notice the ocean eyed girl had gotten closer. Didn't 
realize she was crying, and didn't even realize what she was about to 
do.

"I-I hate you", she whispered, stumbling forward into waiting arms. "I 
hate all of you. It's not right…not right. Why did it all change?"

"Why did what change?"

The sound of her voice snapped Nanami back into reality. She pushed 
the older girl away from her. "Leave me alone…D-don't touch me. I'm 
not-"

"Shhh…" Kozue stepped over to the girl, pulled her close and just held 
her. "Hush little girl. Hush."

And she fought against the embrace as hard as she could…Fought it with 
every fiber of her being. In the end though she conceded. Her muscles 
retreated into comforting dead weight. She let the older girl have 
her. 

"What changed Nanami", she asked again. 

"I…she…everything", the young girl was so defeated. "Nothing feels 
right anymore."

"Ah." She paused still considering her own motives. "How does this 
feel?"

Before an answer could be given her lips were pressed against the 
girl's. And she waited there for permission to take things further, or 
to be flung across the room. She never assumed anything. It was what 
she prided herself for, so when the blonde wordlessly answered her 
question, pink tongue sliding past her lips, begging to deepen the 
kiss…she accepted her luck for what it was. Inwardly smiled as those 
once violent hands brushed through her hair and delighted in the 
continued play as petite fingers began to tug at the buttons of her 
uniform. A wicked thought intruded on her as she let her own hands 
wander slowly up the girl's skirt, imagining the look on President 
Kiryuu's face should he chance to walk in. He had used her once to get 
to her brother, and while she knew what she was doing wasn't 
revenge…She felt strangely more at ease with the cruelty of it. She 
was diverted suddenly by the desperate tearing at her blouse. One 
button didn't seem to want to budge. She gingerly aided in its 
disposal, smiling at the whimper removing her hand caused the girl to 
release. 

"You've no patience", Kozue whispered as she brought the girl to the 
floor. 

Nanami didn't even hear her. She was lost in the pull of it. Lost in 
the release she gained. Nothing was right. Nothing felt good anymore 
but this…this she could feel. She pulled the older girl to her 
savagely, and with inexperienced lips begged for more. She didn't even 
know when she had lost her top. She was too busy. Busy exploring the 
graceful hollows of a pale and slender neck…busy letting her hands run 
along the unbearable softness of pert breasts. And nothing else 
mattered but her satisfaction. The reward of being claimed as well as 
claiming. After ages of desperate touching she found her self trapped 
under Kozue's deeply penetrating animalistic gaze. She suddenly felt 
like wounded prey that was about to be devoured.

"I can stop", she whispered, her voice an untamed purr. 

Nanami was fearfully unsure. All of the cruel girl's weight was 
pressing into her. The feel of sweat soaked skin against skin, breath 
upon breath, it all made her head spin. Made her ache in places she 
was never aware of, and the playful predator above her waited 
patiently for an answer, a single knee insinuating gently where a 
'yes' a would lead things. It hit her slightly that this was wrong. 
She shouldn't be doing this, with this girl…let alone any girl. She 
exhaled a slow ragged breath and it occurred to her that she didn't 
care. Didn't care if it was right, or wrong…just wanted…craved the 
attention.

"Don't stop."

A wolfish grin appeared at the answer, the request…the clear command. 
A slow trail of kisses were lead down the captured girl's neck 
followed in short by what could only be described as grand attention 
to her entire chest. The seductress knew just where to linger, just 
where to place a kiss, or a subtle touch. The older girl worked her 
way further down. Slyly and gracefully disposing of all too short 
Ohtori uniform skirt, and more precious undergarments beneath. Her 
lips nibbled along the inside of the girl's thigh, until she was 
happily teasing her tongue around the most sensitive of spots. Took 
almost too easily what she wanted, reveled in the silent scream the 
girl released as her body shuddered. And with a wicked chuckle she 
continued to take until that angry little girl in her arms was dizzy 
with all that had been done. 

"Such pretty prey", Kozue cooed as she moved her slender fingers 
through the girl sweat soaked shoulder length blonde hair. "I think I 
took to much of you."

And she fought for response but was still trying to catch her breath. 
Trying to put words to everything that had happened but she was too 
weary to even try. 

And were it anything more
Were it a song
A breath
A heart beat
Would I know what to say? 
Would I know what to do? 
When I woke and found it was you
It was all you


A slight tickle on her cheek brought back into the waking world. A 
perfect hand gracing her face, soft as a rose petal. Her eyes opened 
and the plush comfort that surrounded her was a far cry from the hard 
cold feel of the music room. And the shocked look on her face must 
have been apparent because a soft and cruel voice whispered close to 
her ear.

"I wasn't about to let us freeze in the music room. Just be thankful 
you're not that heavy."

"Where-"

"My room. Don't worry no one will find you here." She graced the 
uncertain girl with a light kiss. Nearly offended when she shied away. 
"Going to regret everything now that it's over?"

"No…yes…I'm not sure…I don't know wh-"

"Shhh…Hush little girl." She wrapped her arms around the girl's waist, 
held her close and remarked, "I'll wake you in the morning."

And in the end
When you settle to sleep
It's into your dreams
I'll creep
And after you wake
And see me near
After your senses lose track of fear
You'll always want me close
Won't be able to stay away
And for forever
You'll be my prey

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