Old Flames

a Revolutionary Girl Utena fanfiction by Alithea

“Next!”

The word hit the air like divine justice. Always just short of 
viciously mocking the challenger who left the fencing track. It was 
amusing to watch, and she watched. Ever since the unbeatable panther 
joined the club, she watched. Just far enough away never to be noticed 
and just close enough to see every ounce of raw and formed talent the 
girl had. Her reddish brown eyes moved coolly over the captain of the 
fencing team, regarding her wisely, and waiting…Waiting for the perfect 
moment to step from her place in the shadows and challenge the auburn 
haired beauty. The sound of foils tackling each other, punishing the 
air with quick bursts was suddenly halted by that unseeming yet 
perfectly stated word.

“Next!”

The time was close. She slipped from her place and sauntered closer to 
the track, listening carefully to the way the panther’s opponent moved 
in a vain attempt to keep up the dance. His shoes squeaked along until 
finally the high rattle of his foil hitting the ground silenced them. 
She smirked as she drew her mask over her head, waiting patiently for 
an elegantly harsh word to caress the air.

“Next!”

She pushed through the crowd and stepped to the track. The statuesque 
angel across from her waited in silence, possibly wondering whom the 
new challenger was. With a quick step the dance had begun. Light and 
nimble her advances were well placed…but her blade was even better. It 
was a good long run about the track. The easy back and forth was 
clearly drawing a lot of attention. She cared nothing for the crowd 
though. She cared only for the steady rhythm of her foil beating 
against the fencing captain’s. For the sound of actual exertion 
spilling from the girl’s mouth. Preparing for her final strikes she 
wondered the last time her opponent had needed to fight this hard. With 
a quick step, and a lunge her blade met its target. The sound of cheers 
from the gallery was quickly forgotten as she removed her mask and the 
defeated girl before her stiffened. The panther’s mask was thrown off 
without care. Hazel eyes just a breath from shocked.

“Ms. Sanjouin?” 

She rather enjoyed the way the girl spoke her name. All that respect 
and clear admiration wrapped in surprise and slight bitterness was just 
what she always wanted. “Getting a little rusty”, she breezed. “You’ve 
been too busy teaching the novices to improve your skill.” She smirked 
as she looked around at the other team members who only slightly 
recognized her. It was fun not to be known. She addressed the rest of 
the team firmly, “For those who are not used to seeing my face let me 
introduce myself. I am Ms. Chigusa Sanjouin, the administrator in 
charge of this team. You’re working your captain much harder than you 
should be, and by the way she has been extinguishing you from the track 
I can see she could use some help planting your lessons into your 
head.” She paused, taking a breath to glance over at the team’s 
captain. Her focus removed she shot in again. “All that said…I look 
forward to working with each of you. And now”, her icy glance washed 
over the whole of the room. “I suggest you all hit the showers.”

If the stoic girl was offended by her sudden loss of control she didn’t 
show it. She was about to go to the showers herself when the smoky 
voice of the administrator hit her ears with polite attention.

“Would you mind seeing me in my office for a second Miss Arisugawa?”

“Not at all”, she replied stiffly and walked along to the office.

It was a miserable little room. Two giant filing cabinets pushed up 
against the far wall, the flickering fluorescence of lights, and an 
overly tidy desk cast the scene for darkness. But the mostly strict 
woman smiled warmly as the girl followed her, loving the way her guest 
tried to remain unmoved by the invitation to talk. 

“I didn’t think you wanted to get involved with the team”, the angel 
stated. Her bluish-green eyes coldly assessing the woman across from 
her.

“You are quite right…I hadn’t meant to interfere at all. The day you 
met me I made that clear. I trust the team’s captain.”

“Then why-“

“Because as accomplished as this team is, you are the only one holding 
it together. You graduate soon…I don’t want the team to fall to pieces 
just because you leave.” She believed it a solid and unquestionable 
answer.

“Miki is more than capable of handling this team”, was the unexpected 
argument.

“He is…but he isn’t respected as you are. They may fear you but there 
is no denying the respect that is there. They trust you to guide them 
when they make a mistake…Miki does that, but with a little too much 
gentle ease. I want to make sure the team keeps its discipline.”  She 
sat in what looked to be an uncomfortable chair. It had most likely 
been part of the office since before she was the administrator. “You 
don’t mind do you?”

Auburn locks swayed with a silent answer. “Anything else you want from 
me?” It was asked with some harshness, like an old wound that could 
never be forgotten.

“Nothing…at the moment.”

***

“Hey”, her cool voice invaded like a song. “Juri…tell me about the 
mysterious fencing administrator. I didn’t even know there was one.” 
She smirked wickedly, ocean blue eyes begging for an answer.

“There is little to tell.” Her voice was colder than usual, distant and 
nearly dark. “She keeps to herself. She teaches one or two classes, but 
that is all. And”, she paused fixing her gaze on her newly found 
friend. “At one time she was the youngest member of the Ohtori 
staff...only seventeen when she was hired on.”

A light hand breezed through topaz hair, her previous smirk fixed into 
a delighted smile. “Leave it to you to know everything…about everyone.”

“No one knows everything”, she stated as if confirming something that 
had never been asked. 

Again the darkness in her tone caught the girl’s attention. 
“Hmm…well…How delightful. I should go acquaint myself with this Ms. 
Sanjouin.” 

She had meant that comment to induce a response, but it didn’t. It sat 
like an eerie fog, a curse around the stoic angel it had been aimed at. 
Hazel eyes merely looked away in, something bordering on, shame.

“Wow”, she said softly. “I haven’t seen you like this in a while. What 
happened? You run into Shiori?”

“Not Shiori”, She replied harshly. She regretted her tone, knowing it 
would only cause the girl before her to prod a little deeper.

“Juri?” The wicked fire in her eyes faded. The panther was hurt…or 
rather nursing an old wound. And because Kozue prided herself as the 
only other wild animal on campus she felt she could be of help…without 
getting herself bit in the process. “Well then…what has you all frozen. 
I’ve never known anything but a certain past to make you this silent. 
Maybe I should go ask the fencing administrator she seems pretty-“

Her voice was cut off as a graceful hand took a violent hold on her 
wrist. It was really serious, for such a reaction. The fallen angel was 
getting a bit too emotional. 

“Do not go searching for her.”

“Bold warning, love…She must have shattered your world to have you like 
this.” 

The grip on her wrist disappeared, and an answer that was not needed 
leapt from the panther’s lips. “She did.”

Eyes deeper than the ocean blinked in slight wonder at the confession. 
It was so unlike Juri to be anything but a solid wall of strength. But 
she would heed the warning…after all wild animals had to stick together 
or be caught and killed by shadowy poachers. In a quick thankful moment 
a bright and cheery Miki appeared to cast away the dark that had begun 
to hover. He smiled mentioning the great luck he had with his new piano 
instructor, and off handedly touched upon the shock of the fencing 
administrator deciding to become more active. His light blue eyes did 
not notice the way his closest friend cringed at the sound of the 
woman’s name.

“So Miss Juri...Are you ok with her deciding to take things over I mean 
I guess she has every right to but…” He trailed off thinking he was 
perhaps asking too many questions.

She forced a smile and stood up. “It’s fine Miki. I’ll talk you two 
later.”

“Oh? Well, ok then. See you around.” He smiled as she walked out of the 
room, his expression marred only by his sister swatting him upside the 
head. “OW! Kozue what are you-“

“Gods you’re an idiot”, the cruel girl stated and stormed off leaving 
her brother to his vast confusion. 

***

She was unsure of how she managed to calm Kozue’s curiosity, but after 
days of well placed masks and deceptions she got the girl to leave her 
alone. To stop asking exactly what it was Ms. Sanjouin had done. 
Conversations returned to their normal vein and Juri was happy to have 
accomplished the task. The guilt that she felt at hiding the truth was 
nothing compared to the truth itself. And the truth was something she 
had to confront on her own terms and in one place.

***

The fencing hall was vacant, and she was used to the emptiness by now. 
Used to the feel of the ghostly walls calling her away to another time. 
The quiet reminded her of what she had let go. The panther she let 
slide from her grip out of something that wasn’t quiet fear. She called 
it responsibility, but it felt like something else. She was arranging 
the extra foils placing them neatly on the large rack before her, 
considering moving the bulky piece of furniture closer to the practice 
room. Nimble steps echoed down the hallway, and she recognized the 
footfall. She found it amusing being able to recall the way someone 
moved. The sound of the way someone walked was something that not 
everyone could decipher. Her back turned to the fencer she continued 
her arranging. After a long stint of struggled silence she conceded and 
turned around, a feral if not delighted grin on her face.

“Come for a rematch?” Her tone was, reminiscent of a dying fire. She 
stood doing her best at guessing the fencer’s purpose for being there.

“Something like that”, was the cold statement that greeted her. 

The way the stoic angel pretended was brilliant. Made Chigusa want to 
embrace the girl like she had done years ago. The memory broadened her 
grin, extending it to a light smile. The older woman noted with some 
interest that a familiar piece of jewelry was no longer strangling the 
girl’s neck. She tried to contain her shock. Her reddish brown eyes, 
moved passed the panther just a bit to catch another recognized face 
enter the hall.

“My if today isn’t the day for visitors”, she quipped and calmly 
ventured to expel the violet-eyed intruder. Upon returning she winked 
and said, “You expelled her from the team, but she seems to think I may 
be able to get her back on.”

“She missed four practices in a row”, the auburn haired beauty stated 
firmly. “My rules are my rules…I make no exceptions.” Her eyes seemed 
darker than before. “But if you want to change my policies too I 
suppose I have to accept that.”

The woman huffed. It was an interesting little side note to the team 
captain’s original purpose for being at the hall. “Shall we to my 
office? Or would you rather not?”

She enjoyed the extreme quiet much more than she figured she would. The 
intense glare that shot from the panther as they entered the office, 
burning with long dead things. Wounds that had obviously scarred, and 
still stung in full view for both women to see, a delightful little 
mess that had been created and never really cleaned up. The lights in 
the office were painful to stand under, but she figured if she turned 
them down the fencer would become alarmed. An easy hand moved through 
turquoise locks and she leaned against her desk as the door shut with a 
violent thud.

“What’s on your mind Miss Arisugawa”, her formalities biting at the 
past with elegant tact.

“I think you’re up to something much more than making sure the team 
keeps its discipline”, the icy voice of the fencer stated.

Her eyes shut as she shook her head, arms thrown up in mock defense. 
“Caught me did you?”

“Don’t patronize it’s rather insulting.”

“Is it? I’m serious about the team Arisugawa. Very serious.” She 
shrugged and then relaxed back into her former stance. “So…what do you 
think I’m up to?”

She considered the past as she spoke, trying not to let the 
conversation tilt back to all those years ago. “I think you’ve been 
watching me far too closely …So I gather your plotting to bring me 
down…or…” The word lingered thinning softly and then dying.

“Or?” She perked an eyebrow, her arms now across her chest. “Maybe you 
think I’m going to pull you into something you don’t want? Maybe”, she 
moved across the tiny room, getting closer than she needed to. “Maybe 
it’s all just your vivid imagination.”

The panther’s cold exterior slipped into a toothy grin.

“When a panther looks like that…one must beware of getting mauled”, 
Chigusa remarked. “I should have ripped that golden trinket from your 
throat the minute I saw it.”

Her grin vanished, washed back into the cold of her heart. “Maybe. Why 
didn’t you?”

“You wouldn’t let me.”

“Never stopped you from being forceful before”, she whispered, an old 
look of shame breezing over her.  

“Oh that was a nice little wound to reopen.” She enjoyed the ease with 
which it was placed though, reminded her of what she let go. “But as 
you know school rules are school rules…and no matter how many 
professors end up getting away with it…you know full well I would have 
been caught.”

“And now”, the angel questioned. “What if I came to you now as I did 
then…would you do the same thing?”

“Yes.” The answer felt too quick.

“What?” 

She purposely positioned herself as close as she possible could get. 
“I’d tell you no…and then I’d rip that locket from your neck. Send it 
to the incinerator…watch it burn so you could live as an angel instead 
of a thing fallen from grace. “ There was fire to her low voice that 
could not be denied. “Now, was there anything else gnawing at your 
pride or was that it?”

***        

Somehow she knew it would come down to a moment so wonderfully intense. 
She felt it rising in her like a tide. The sea of one’s emotions was a 
fun little pool to play in, and carefully sailed life was easily 
managed and predictable. So when the soft challenge graced her ears she 
tired not to smile, she just backed away and prepared for the duel. And 
there on the fencing track that’s where everything could be decided and 
ended. It was such a polite way to settle things she wondered why it 
ever went out of style. The mask hid her eyes but the older woman could 
feel the burning glare that was gracing her. Felt the heat of a 
thousand old things that needed to be replaced and defeated. Briefly 
she recalled another match she had that was similar. It was oddly noble 
when she remembered it. She was ready to begin, and if she wanted to 
she could have let silence rule all but she didn’t.

“Don’t go getting too emotional Arisugawa”; Chigusa called. “Last time 
you got that way Ruka wiped the floor with you.”

Her eyes narrowed behind her mask, that was an unnecessary comment. “So 
he told you?”

She shrugged and swished the foil. “For some reason all you fallen 
angels trust me with your secrets. And I keep them…safe and sound. 
Maybe I’m fallen too.”

The blades met with a shrill clack. There were no real rules to follow 
for this bought. The entire practice room was fair ground. So the duel 
moved much like those the panther had fought in that lamentable arena 
just outside of the school. The older woman staggered forward, a 
misstep that was very unlike her. Juri gracefully moved to the side.

“Talk about getting emotional”, she quipped.

Again a shrill clack filled the air. It would have been a great match 
to talk about with others, but there was no audience to discuss all the 
little noticeable asides that took place. The way the panther would let 
herself fall to the defensive only to regain her position with a quick 
twist of her wrist. The irresistible way mysterious administrator would 
lead things into a nearly still volley and then lash out with 
unexpected strength…like a flame suddenly given breath. The fight 
seemed to have no meaning. It seemed a simple enough exercise, but both 
women knew what was being fought. Heartache was a slow demon to slay, 
and the two had inflicted it well upon each other, one for all her past 
desperate and childish want, and the other for her inability to save 
her favorite girl from something so slick as the unrequited. Both were 
clearly tiring.

“Why don’t we both agree to be equal on this floor”, the older woman 
offered as her mask flew off. She made a quick catch up step and took 
the mask from the fallen angel.

Auburn locks spilled down, but her sword continued to attack. “Because 
things have to be decided. I’m sick of wondering.”

“Wondering or wishing?”

The question only prodded the girl to move quicker, causing the older 
woman to stumble. Juri caught her and tossed her to the ground. The 
fiery-eyed woman sprang up off the floor, her anger apparent, that last 
move was very uncivilized. Her foil caught the fencing captain’s with 
sudden strength and they were locked together in firm force. One 
pushing against the other and it was there that all the similarities 
between the two were clear. Equal height, equal weight, one the soul of 
angelic fire, the other the cold of a cat’s eye. And both fought 
against what they had been when they had first met. Only four years had 
separated them in age, and four years ago…that’s when everything was 
decided. 

“Would you have let me take that trinket from you, if I’d given in and 
said yes”, she shouted, trying to maintain her grip.

“No.” It was soft but her stance remained strong. “Would you have 
accepted my offer if that chain had never existed?”

“No…” 

She lost her baring with the answer. Lost her will to hold to the duel 
and was happy to find the girl in front of her had lost as well. Their 
foils were still locked, but loosely. They fell to the ground as both 
women pulled into a violent kiss. Juri was the first to push away, and 
she did so harshly. Her breath ragged and her eyes clearly lost in 
shock. 

“What are we doing”, she whispered. A gloved hand covered her face. 
“Why do we always end up like that?”

The older woman shrugged. “Know idea…it’s rather annoying though isn’t 
it? But I suppose you can’t blame mutual attraction for trying.”

“What?” 

“Oh please…you may be stoic and hard to read but you aren’t blind.” She 
sighed and sat up. “I mean that first time…”

“That first time someone cruel had just left me…Can’t use that as an 
example. I was too young remember…that’s what you said”, the panther 
said a slight bitter ring to her tone.

“Yes, well you were”, Chigusa confessed. “And I was new to the 
staff…and well…we’ve been over it haven’t we?”

She nodded slightly. “What about the funeral?”

“Chalk it up to deep sorrow…but you were the one to say no that time”, 
she reminded with a smile.

“Yes well”, she paused as she brushed some sweat-drenched locks from 
her face. “Let’s not get bogged down in every detail.”

“Oh and I was just going to mention some of the other events”, she 
breezed sarcastically. “Like you want to explain that night you just 
appeared on my doorstep roaring about how there were no miracles that 
it was just blind luck?”

She began to pull her gloves off and tossing one aside grunted, “I was 
having a bad day.” 

The other glove was tossed shortly after as the memory struck her. She 
began to laugh. The prince proved her wrong and instead of residing 
herself to her room, to wallow in the memory of how much she hated 
Shiori for being so naïve, she ran to the fiery-eyed woman across from 
her. Ran and ranted, and like a regal lioness the older woman had 
listened. She shook her head at the realization. 

“I’m just too damned stubborn”, the fallen angel confessed.

“Excuse me?”

She looked over and smiled widely. Hazel eyes calming from the storm of 
the duel. “I’m stubborn Ms. Sanjouin. And you are too by the way. We 
get far too caught up in protecting ourselves from being hurt to see 
what we’re doing to each other. Tell me…did you ever find the time to 
throw your own chains away?”

“I tossed them away one link at a time…I think I’ve only a few left. 
Why do you ask?” She grinned.

***    

“Next!”

Her voice hit the air a tamed roar. She assessed the skill of the 
challenger who approached her, smiling under her mask. The movements 
were graceful and the dance was long, but she lost. Feeling the foil 
stab mercilessly at her heart. She tore off her mask, turquoise locks 
billowing to her shoulders. Her eyes narrowed a bit.

“I suppose you think that makes us even”, she stated under the low 
claps from the gallery.

“I think it makes me better”, the girl replied with a purr.

Fiery eyes tore around the room and then settled on the clock. 
“Practice is dismissed”; she shouted and watched with joy as the team 
scurried at the sound of her voice.

The elegant team captain began to wander off.

“Where do you think you’re going Miss Arisugawa?”

Hazel eyes met her, a little dark. “I was going to the showers. Did you 
need me for something?”

The last of the observers was leaving the hall and she could barely 
contain her laughter, the stoic angel joined her. 

“I think we may have gone too far today”, Chigusa said trying to stifle 
her laugh.

“What you don’t like the play we put on for people? I thought you 
wanted to be extra careful. But I think we may be acting too well…Rumor 
is we want to kill each other”, she replied coolly.

“Kill? I thought we were old rivals still disgruntled over some tired 
old flame?”

“That was last week”; She corrected. “Now we can’t stand each other.” 
She stalked over to the administrator and placed a light hand on her 
shoulder. “We don’t even like to be in the same room”, she purred. 

“That will definitely put a damper on things.”

“Oh Why?”

She shrugged, “Thought you might enjoy dinner…You know a real meal as 
compared to those instant science experiments you normally eat.”

She chuckled slightly. “Why Ms. Chigusa Sanjouin…are you actually 
asking me out?”

“Maybe”, she replied the fire in her eyes growing. “But if you’d rather 
just stay friends I’ll understand that.”

The panther sighed. “If the fencing administrator will let me hit the 
showers we can discuss ending our play over a nice meal.”

“Then the captain is dismissed, and is reminded that reservations are 
at six”, Chigusa stated. “No brooding in the shower.”

“I’ll see you soon then”; she whispered and walked back to the locker 
rooms.


End……

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