I'd Cut Out My Heart For You "It's like a ghost town...without the ghosts..." Shiori remarked thoughtfully as she walked along the campus hallways. The night sky above them was slowly becoming blacker. What had once been a blue-black dome dusted with stars and a shining moon, was now roiling storm clouds. They boiled over everything, obscuring and hiding. Plunging the faded school buildings into a shadow world. Brushing her maroon bangs from her eyes, Shiori squinted. There were signs of students, but they were old. When they had first entered the iron wrought gates at the school entrance, there had been a weathered metal sign posted right above the locks and chains. It had stated 'Foreclosure' and a bunch of jargon about this and that. Apparently the school had been closed, which to her felt like a blessing. After all, aside from a few short years, growing up in Ohtori hadn't been...nice. Shiori pulled her cardigan sweater tightly about her front. No, speaking honestly she had hated the school. The only good thing in it had been Juri. And in the end, because of her selfishness and ugly jealousy, she had even begun to hate her too. Yes...not very many fond memories of the old Ohtori. Or the old Shiori. And now she was back here again. There weren't any students or faculty anywhere, it was just a steel and concrete shell. Such a waste really. She sighed. Around her were the others, a comforting warmth that broke up the endless gray. But with Juri there beside her, it felt like she could take on anything. Juri had always had that sort of effect on her. She wondered why it had taken her so long to realize why. The group had stopped at the fencing hall, which was still intact. It was eerie, she thought. All of the school's equipment and facilities had been left untouched. It was as if the students and teachers had all just packed up and left one day. But why? She had graduated here after all, among a horde of students in her class. And when she had left, there had been new freshmen entering. She now had her memories returned to her (via Anthy) about the duels...and the crazy going-ons she had never really noticed. But...still that didn't explain...why... Had it all been just a dream? The plum haired woman now sported a foil, similar to the one Juri trained her with back home. It felt...good. At home there in the palm of her slender hand. Before it had felt a little silly, her trying to be like the other woman. But now it was just right. Had it been Mikage's influence? Shiori wasn't sure...but what she did know was that it felt nice to have the power to fight. No more running. She had promised herself that long ago... "Well at least we won't have to worry about the Chairman's elevator working..." said a soft voice right next to her ear. Shiori felt the tickling sensation of her partner's thick orange curls sliding around her neck as she was hugged lightly from behind. Shiori smiled, relaxing back into those strong warm arms. "Yes, I imagine the ride at least will be much more pleasant." She felt movement behind her as the older woman grasped her hand, and they walked side by side. Anthy was in the lead up ahead, but all that could really be seen of her from the back was all that long trailing hair. That and a swaying pair of legs moving underneath it. "What do you think will happen when we meet the Chairman again? Of course, I'd never really dealt with him...but..." Shiori's eye brows knit as she frowned, "From the way everyone is acting...and from...some of Mikage's memories..." That statement seemed to give Arisugawa pause. Looking down at her wife with a curious expression, she questioned. "His memories?" Shiori nodded, never taking her eyes off of the woman at the front of their staggered line. "Yes...when he gave us that power, that power to fight...some other things came through also. I remember what he used to look like back then. I remember a boy named Mamiya. And I remember meeting...World's End." She shivered as if from the cold, finally looking up at Juri. "Even from just seeing him through someone else's eyes, he scares me." Juri frowned, a pout of her full lips and a raising of her chin. She was quiet for a moment, before admitting, "He...scared me too. But he's not the Chairman anymore." And that realization made Shiori herself pause, before nodding in agreement. "No. He's not." It wasn't long before the group stood gathered before the shining ivory tower of Ohtori. The elevator was indeed in working condition. Readying their new swords, mentally prepping themselves for what they would face, the ex-duelists and their witch stepped into the embrace of ornate iron gates.... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The elevator was rumbling. It gave a soft whirring sound, as gears shifted and human weight was carried to the top of his tower. Akio, the Sword of Self Loathing, stood up from his couch, dried blood crusted all across its worn surface. His body was a mess of scars, visible now under the dim electric lighting of the vast room. The great metal shutters all about the room were closed, keeping everything within contained. Isolated. Painfully trapped. Above, some of the simple track lighting was flickering at intervals. It made strange shadows dance at his heels as he slowly walked into the middle of the room. Akio had intended to pose dramatically, on the projector perhaps. Or maybe lounge against the couch like he used to. Or at least stand in the relaxed stance of a seductive god before the elevator. But he would probably screw it up. He always seemed to be doing that, according to the One. Why bother with it? Why even try? He'd just look stupid...he wasn't good at grandstanding anymore... Washed up. Pathetic. Oh how he longed to die, but he was feeling too lethargic to even want to try. So he just stood there, in his ripped and soiled clothing, his hair a mess and bags under his eyes. He settled for hunching his shoulders slightly, and holding his sword in both hands. He sighed again wistfully as the elevator dinged. Finally. Time to end this. Make the One happy, give her a present. A present more red than roses. Akio's face broke into a dreamy smile. And he fiddled with the a long scar running up on his forearm, turning his face away from the elevator. Tracing a gentle fingertip along it, feeling the hardened knobby flesh... "Akio." He paused in his mental wanderings, the Sword brought lazily back into the present. Slowly he lifted up his face to look at the group of people, framed in the light of the elevator. Lifting his head until his long lilac bangs parted enough for him to see, Akio gave a small tired smile. "Hello Anthy." He took a step towards her and heard her gasp in shock. Her hands flying to her mouth as she took a retreating step back. His wounds were exposed to the sparse lighting now, angry and raw across his skin like a patchwork quilt. He could feel the stares of the men and women, from his past attempts at glory, rake their eyes across his body. And not in the way they used to. It made him want to curl up in on himself. He was so disgusting now... Anthy had to fight a sudden spill of tears in her eyes. She had expected many things to await her. But this...this was simply too much. True, she hated her brother for all that he had done to her and her loved ones in the past. But he was still her brother, and a part of her broke to see him brought so low. While Anthy herself had been able to move on with her life, her desire to find her Prince fueling her, Akio had degraded into a truly pitiable creature. But was that his own anguish? Or the anguish brought on by the Sword's influence? And how long has he been like this? All those cuts... She felt Wakaba shift uneasily behind her, and turn away from the morbid scene. Touga and Saionji were noticeably paler. It would be up to her to make the first move. Stepping forward to meet the Sword in the center of the room, Anthy's heels clacked on the marble floor with every footfall. Akio waited for her, hugging himself. "Akio...you're still in there...aren't you?" Akio cracked a broken smile, his sword tip scraping along the ground. "Akio's gone gone gone..." The Sword sigh in weariness, "But I've always been here, dear little Anthy. He was locked up and lonely in this tower. No one to love. No one to hold...just myself..." He swayed, bringing the sword up slightly before it clanked back on the floor. Anthy's eyes pleaded for him to listen to her. "Akio! Please listen to me! You are strong enough to beat this back, you need to summon up your consciousness to fight against the Sword!" Her hands clenched into fists as she took another step closer. She could feel the other duelists shuffling out behind her, making to encircle the hunched figure before her. The sword was talking to itself quietly, not hearing her. "But I was there...I was there I was there, tiptoeing quietly, waiting to hold him, to embrace him...to show him the pretties..." He held up an arm with a sunny smile. "See? They're ugly...but they're also so pretty...so much meaning, so many things can stop hurting if you just cut a little. Just a bit..." His face took on a more earnest look. He noticed that he was now in a ring of figures, all who held a sword at him. But still he kept talking, his face fevered with the need for them to see what he saw. "You see don't you?! Don't you understand?! You just need to cut, just enough for it not to hurt anymore...make an offering to stop the pain!! And it will stop, and it'll be oh so wonderful! So red, so safe...I showed him that! And he accepted it! He hates himself, and now we can hate together!" Akio turned a twisted sorrowful smile at the witch, who had just begun to realize how far her brother had plunged off the deep end. She raised her hands, preparing to cast a spell. But quicker than thought, more fluid than any of the men and women standing there could imagine, Akio lunged forward and slashed cleanly across her chest. She fell back with a cry of pain, clutching her blouse. Blood arced in a red line to splat across the floor. And Akio was smiling still. Standing over her as she scooted on her butt away from him, he continued speaking as his eyes began to bleed of color. "I have to make a new offering, little Anthy. Little Witch. I hate myself...but I hate you even more." Akio's sword was brought up with a smooth efficiency as he charged her again. But this time, bodies moved to intercept him. Touga and Saionji each blocked his sword with their own as Juri and Shiori picked up Anthy by her arms and moved her out of the way. Kozue hung back a bit, trying to slink around behind the Sword. But a sudden blast of energy knocked her off her feet. Gasping, her eyes rolled up in the back of her head as a crashing weight of raw emotion pressed in around her. God, it felt like an ocean of sadness! It had a physical weight, a heaviness that crushed the air from her lungs. Why was she here? It wasn't as though she was going to be any help...it was all a waste. How sad. Kozue was still chasing shadows and trying to pretend to be strong. Kozue moaned and wrapped her arms around her head as whispers filled her mind and threatened to drown her. It was only by a terrible effort that she ignored them to try and keep moving after Akio and the others. It was affecting them all to varying degrees. Through it all, the Sword within the brown skinned man whirled about in a dance of death. His blade moved in sure strokes, smooth as a razor and just as deadly. It was only just barely that the two men kept from losing a hand or an arm. But even still they were being pushed back. Step by step, they were losing ground as the Chairman backed them up towards the couch. Anthy stood back and tried to think as she summoned a spell for containment, her hands shaking. Her brother's eyes were a gleaming silver, like polished mirrors. But was containing him going to work? Haven't you tried that before? A nasty little voice she recognized as her subconscious whispered. She hesitated, feeling sweat trickle down her brow. What was she supposed to do? Could she really do this? There! Juri and Shiori had jumped in to help Kozue stand. Wakaba was being attacked. When...when had Saionji gone down? And now Touga...poor Touga had gotten stabbed in the shoulder! This was all her fault. She was going to lose everything again... Anthy began to tremble, but willed herself to remain calm. She needed to think. She needed a plan! She wove her hands in a series of spidery movements and flung out a green web of crackling power at her brother. But he merely smacked it away with his blade. Trying again, she pulled out her deck of playing cards and flung them into the air. They remained suspended, as if on wires, and began shifting to form a circle. Lacing certain ones with her power, she fired out bolts of deadly intent at her foe. But these he collected with an outstretched hand, into a growing shifting mass. Flinging it back at her, she raised her arms protectively as it crashed against her psychic shields. Switching tactics, she wove a series of healing spells and sent them to her champions, on a flutter of invisible wings. Touga regained his footing and crashed into Akio from the side. The two wrestled for control of his sword. Saionji tried to help overpower the Sword by adding his own strength, and finally the two were able to drive him back. Akio frowned in annoyance, and then dodged inhumanly as Kozue's blade snaked for his exposed back. He caught her in a headlock with one arm and flung her into the two men. They collapsed in a crumpled heap of squirming bodies and pained curses. Wakaba looked nervous but determined as she stood with the two women fencers. They raced as one to attack, Juri lunging forward in a streamlined movement. The panther snarled ferally, as Akio sweetly smiled down at her and batted her sword away. But he misjudged her intentions, and she turned her feint into a deadly upward arc. He jerked back just in time to keep from getting decapitated. The Sword frowned harder as it found itself pressed back on all sides as the duelists moved as a single unit of whirling swords. But Anthy knew that they wouldn't be able to keep this up forever. They were human. And humans got tired. Swords didn't. And sure enough, the duelists began to show signs of fatigue while Akio battled on. Not so much as a gleam of sweat touched his brow. He looked as though he could go on fighting for eternity. They needed to end this now, Anthy thought urgently. Wracking her brains for a spell that would work, anything, she tried to remember all that Mikage had told her. They needed to...needed to counter what he was. But how does one go about countering Self Loathing? And with what? Mikage's words whispered back to her. Symbolism... A light went off in the witch's mind. Many spells and many laws of the preternatural world revolved around symbolism. The breaking of bread for the Christians, the kissing of a Buddha statue, the Wiccans who often practiced symbolism with their rituals on holy days, the Vaudaun and their offerings. She knew, better than most, that symbolism could be a great power if used correctly. Manipulation was made all that easier if her targets could be coerced with things that represented their wants and desires. So why not here? Her brows furrowed in calculation, as she drew up decades of knowledge. What she needed was something powerful, the counter to Self Loathing. Well, the obvious counter to self-loathing is to love yourself, isn't it? How can I make him love himself? Accept what he is now? What could represent that? She hit on an idea. It was a gamble, but at this point she didn't care. Darting off into the bowels of the room, she hunted for something she recalled seeing. Hunting about in the dark, she located a small table. Using it as a landmark, she navigated away from the ringing sound of steel on steel to follow the wall behind it. Her hands ran carefully as she blindly sought what she was looking for. There! Her fingers closed around a framed object and she tugged it off its hook. Racing back to the others, she pressed a hand to her chest as she wheezed around her own wound. Akio was in the middle of strangling Shiori when she arrived. Not even thinking too much about it, she flung the picture frame and its contents at the Sword. "Akio! Catch!" He looked up in surprised and snagged the object from the air by instinct. Then his body went rigid, a choked of cry ripped from his throat. Akio fell to his knees in pain as his sword clattered from his grip. He fell over twitching, the picture frame balanced unevenly on his chest. "Hold it on there! Don't let it fall off!!" Anthy ordered as she hurried over to him. Touga fumbled a moment to set his sword down on the ground and held the picture frame onto the spasming chest. The Sword was making guttural noises as it tried to get up off the floor, to break free from its bindings. Shiori coughed and hacked to one side, her neck ringed in purpling bruises as Juri clutched her bleeding leg. Saionji looked battered but more together than the rest of them, so he mimicked Touga and squatted down on the other side of the chairman. He placed a knee on his throat to keep him pinned as he too laid a hand on the picture frame. Through the pale splayed fingers of the two men, the group slowly moved in close enough to see it was a picture. Three smiling faces stood together, faces they all new well. Anthy smiled sadly as she ran a fingertip across the smiling image of a pink haired girl. "Akio..." He coughed and jerked to free himself. But the picture kept him rooted to the floor as firmly as a steak. "Akio listen to me. We don't hate you." His eyes slowly rolled unwillingly to look up at her, standing over him. She knelt down to cup his ragged cheek. There was stubble growing there, from days without shaving. She stroked his cheek as she spoke the words in her heart. "I don't hate you, and neither does she." He flinched. Anthy sighed, and felt the others watching silently, unwilling to interrupt the spell of the moment. "We both did many things in the past...we disrupted so many lives. But in the end, you saved lives as well. Don't you remember?" She looked down at him earnestly. "You saved her as a child Akio, but through your guidance and through all the horrid games and manipulations, you ended up saving her as a young woman as well! You gave her someone to look up to, taught her to be strong. Perhaps you lost sight of that for a while, but I know you Akio, and deep inside you loved her as well. Its as plain to me as these." She traced a scar down his cheek. Akio had quieted, his silver eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Yes, you betrayed her Akio. But so did I. And she loved us still! How can we do any less? How can we not honor her memory and kindness, by not living our new lives with high goals?" She was beginning to cry too now. "She saved us Akio, gave us a second chance. Showed us that there was still beauty inside of us. You gave a new purpose to the students who entered your school, and outside of the ridiculous duels and ploys for power, you took your job as educator and leader so very seriously. Like the Prince you once were. You cared for your students then, and you care for them now. But now there's no longer any revolutions to get in the way. You can finally...forgive yourself." Akio reached a trembling hand to place over her own, feeling the difference of her soft skin underneath his roughness. Could he...could he do that? Could he...let the pain of guilt go? Face the darkness in his heart like darling Utena would have wanted him to? Could he...love again? His eyes squeezed shut in pain as he concentrated. The Sword shivered inside of him, weakened by the picture of him and his sister standing with their savior. The girl that had held a mirror up to their lives. Had shown them something eternal. Tiny crackles of static electricity edged the picture frame as the Sword fluttered in his chest. It sensed what they were trying to do, and was fighting with all its might. But memories of driving in his car, speaking with parents and students as he showed off the school he had worked so hard to perfect, memories of soft pink hair trailing across his shoulder...memories drove it back. Anthy sensed the inner battle. She looked up at Touga. "Quickly! Aim your sword for his heart! Aim for the sword inside!" His brows shot up as he looked down at his sword. "You want me to kill him? But..." Anthy shook her head. "No! Those swords are infused with the power to exorcise the unnatural hatred of the Sword. Trust me, please!" He looked into her eyes a moment, judging what he saw there. Then with a whirl of red hair, he grabbed the sword handle and plunged the tip of the blade into the shaking man's chest. Akio's back bowed, and he came up off the ground. Head tilted back, mouth opening, his eyes flashed with a blinding burst of light as a spectral mist floated up from out of his throat. It rose up and up, billowing above his body until at last the thing was completely expelled. Akio's eyes fluttered shut and his body sank back down. Touga cautiously removed his sword, and found the wound sealing itself up with ribbons of warm light. The scars on his body seemed to sink down into his bronzed skin, leaving smooth unbroken flesh. Tissue re-knit, muscle flowed under the sagging skin of his body, and he breathed easy. All heads turned to look up at the coalescing mist, except for one head that remained sleeping peacefully. The mist was forming the faint shape of a man, wearing a tunic and breeches from a century long since passed. His messy black hair got into his eyes, eyes that still held a sadness as they gazed down on his former host. The specter sighed as it began to dissolve from its boots up. "I loved him you know...back then...when he was the Prince and he was always saving us...it wasn't right to love another man, and I hated myself for doing it...but he was so very beautiful..." He sighed and looked Anthy dead in the eyes, his gaze hardening. All that was left was his shoulders and head, and that two was rapidly disappearing. "Why did you have to take him away from us?! You got what you deserved witch..." The face dissolved into nothingness, leaving not a trace of the Sword that had once been there, or the man he had truly once been. Anthy extended her inner senses, and touched outward. Was she being overly critical, or did the world breathe a small sigh of relief? The balance felt just a touch lighter now, with the unnatural Sword wiped of its existence. Anthy sagged back on the balls of her feet. One down, nine more to go... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Some time later, Akio had revived looking far better than he had. There was softness to him now, reminiscent of Dios. It was still somewhat odd for her to remember the two entities were now merged as one man again. The Chairman had changed out of his scruffy rags, into something a bit cleaner, but he still was disheveled and in need of a bath. Which Kozue had been quick to point out to him. Sighing at her smirk, he absently ran a hand over his healed arms. "Well thank you Kaoru-san, I hadn't noticed." He looked down at the ground, finding it difficult to meet his rescuers' eyes. He had quite a lot to answer for with the duelists. And more than a few watched him with wary disapproval. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hand. Would he ever be able to repay the many debts he owed? He had done so much... Little did he know, his current thoughts echoed those that his sister had had many times before. He cleared his throat to speak. "I...I know that I cannot expect any of you to forgive my past transgressions...You shouldn't. But know now I mean you no further harm. I am...retired." He gave a self depreciating shrug. With the return of his health, Touga noticed that he had regained his old charm. But with age it seemed diminished, more elegant than sexual. He still bore a nobleness that was ingrained in him, but was faded with time. Touga couldn't help but smirk, falling back into the old teasing game. "You, retired? I can hardly imagine it." Akio gave a small smile as he looked up at his younger companion. The group was ranged about a tea table, sitting on borrowed chairs and on the floor since the couch was effectively ruined. Juri watched him silently with her piercing gaze. But he didn't turn from it. "Arisugawa-san, I apologize for your past torment. I can only say that I am glad you have found happiness." He gestured at her and Shiori's matching wedding bands. And then swept an arm to encompass the rest of the group. "That you all have found happiness. It was what she would have wanted." He smiled softly, but the gaze turned serious. "I would like to offer apologies to each of you-" "You could apologize all day long, but it wouldn't change what you did to us." Juri cut in coldly. She had her arms crossed as she watched him. Akio broke off and looked down at his folded hands. "No. You're right. It wouldn't change a thing. So then what would you have me do, Arisugawa-san?" His expression became bitter, his green eyes flashing. "What would you have of me?" Juri locked gazes with him, answering just as firmly, "I would have you repent, Akio. Pay back the debt you owe." Her eyes narrowing. "Um excuse me?" Akio and Juri paused and turned to look at Shiori who had raised her hand. She blushed and put it down, feeling a little silly. Anthy worked to smooth the tension by asking calmly, "Yes, Shiori-san?" Shiori hesitated before asking her question. And it was so out of the blue, that all parties present paused to look at her in surprise. "Why is the school closed?" Akio ran a hand through his hair, as Kozue put her face on her chin in interest. "A good question. Why is it?" She looked over at Anthy. Anthy gave a small smile, "I believe my brother can answer that. After all, he's the one who closed it...right?" Akio gave a small nod of confirmation. Anthy's gaze softened, "You closed it to protect the students didn't you?" Juri found it hard to believe, but Akio gave another nod, looking at his hands again. "I....I closed it when I felt the Sword grow in power, after that devil woman planted the seed in me. I refused to let that thing rampage about in my school." His gaze hardened as he looked up. His eyes challenged anyone to argue his intentions. Anthy rested a hand on his shoulders. "It's because you care about your students too much." He sighed and leaned back in his chair. But didn't contradict her. Touga mused a moment. "Akio-san, your crimes are many...and there is quite a lot to answer for, as Juri-chan stated." The woman scowled at the pet name he addressed her with, but remained quiet to see where he was going with this. "But here you have the means to pay back that debt, to the duelists who fought in your games, and to the lives you altered with your deceit." Touga leaned forward, like a businessman about to close a deal. "You punishment will be to re-open the school." Saionji lifted an eyebrow, hugging Wakaba to him. "Oh?" Akio looked over at him with the beginnings of hope. The red haired man smiled gently as he explained. "You have the opportunity to pass on your knowledge and guidance to young minds who need it. Who need to be shaped into better people. By offering your devotion to the futures of the boys and girls who enter your school and dedicating your life to caring for them, you will slowly make up for the numerous lives you harmed." It was Touga's turn to look down. "We all have things...we seek penance for...and it is up to us to use the talents we had to harm, as gifts to help us heal." His eyes became serious, and Wakaba had the feeling he was talking about himself. "It will take time, but eventually...eventually you'll find the guilt and pain will be gone for good." He clapped a hand on the older man's shoulder as Akio inclined his head in gratitude. "Thank you Kiryuu-san...I will...be happy to open Ohtori's doors once more." And just like that, the tension in the group lifted. Juri snuggled down closer to her partner, from their sitting position on the floor. She planted a kiss to her forehead and smiled softly, but still felt uneasy. I suppose... that will be punishment enough. But I can never forgive him for what he did. The mood lasted for a few minutes as talk turned to small talk, and the various duelist slowly warmed up to this new version of their old Chairman. But regretfully, Anthy had to bring it back to the business at hand. She would have liked for her friends come to know her brother, as he was now. Such a change from the being he used to be. "Akio...the other swords. Can you tell us anything about them?" Akio turned to her, and crossed one leg over the other. "They are coming here, I...called them before you arrived. They will be here soon. I think it best to use these empty halls as your battleground, away from anyone else who might be hurt." He looked at them all in seriousness. "I never was able to meet the other swords, as I have been confined here at Ohtori. I was also the second sword born after...Ten's creation." A look of sadness swept through him. "You will need to do as you did with me. Spot the Swords' weaknesses, exploit them, and drive out the evil spirit. They are the shades from a past older than many can remember. He sighed and shared a knowing look with his sister. The Swords were from their past, and it made it all the more personal for the violation. "But I can tell you this: remain firm. Don't let yourselves be swayed by what they say, or what they try to do to force your hand. The One will not be beaten so easily as the others, so save her for last." Akio stood and paced to the projector, broken now and unused. "They will try to divide you, make you doubt. But don't. Be strong, so that you may save our beloved Utena." Heads lifted at these words, and a few nods were given. Akio fingered a lock of silvered hair that ran through his lavender mane. Old age, he was finding, was not for the weak. But strangely he found he welcomed the challenge. "Rest while you can, you will not have much time. The nine remaining Swords of Hatred come swiftly seeking your blood. But they are not allowed to touch Anthy-chan. For now..." Anthy looked up at this new piece of information, and Akio gave her a smile of encouragement. "It was part of the deal Utena made that you not be harmed. But who can say for how long the Swords will stick to that bargain? They will hunt your friends instead." Anthy frowned and nodded. The group began to rise, climbing slowly to their feet. "I would suggest giving some thought as to what the other Swords may be, and devising a plan of attack. For behind the Nine, a host of a thousand swords comes hotly on their heels." His gaze was half hidden in the shadow of the towering projector. His eyes were determinedly neutral. "And I am not certain if you'll live to fight that many."
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