Break Me
Pairings and explinations: This is a follow up to 'Softer Than the
Cruel'. It's an explination of who that girl in Juri's shower was for
those who didn't quite get. So there you go
The Poetry: is strictly mine...don't steal it you'll be sorry.
Comments: I beg you send me feed back. I like feed back....for the love
of Pete send me feed back...I need to feel loved...or know I'm
hated...yes I know I'm twisted leave me alone...
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She smirked as the boy pushed her harshly against the tree. His shouts
and demands were lost on her, as she just looked up into the branches
of the great willow tree. Not receiving the sort of reaction he wanted
he set in with a string of foul names that she had heard countless
times before. Her soft blue eyes shut just for a moment as she reminded
herself…She probably deserved this sort of treatment. She had been
undeniably cruel to the boy, breaking his heart and tossing him aside
like nothing. It was amusing to be so vilified, especially since she
had just made a point to stop her wicked ways. The world worked that
way though. He pushed her again, and her head hit hard against the
trunk of the tree. His jealous hand wrapped around her throat and she
opened her eyes, daring him to squeeze. Her smile grew as he complied
and then his grip loosened. He was so angry. She wondered exactly what
kind of injuries the evening would leave her with. He was getting
frustrated.
“Why is this so funny to you”, he shouted as she let a giggle escape
her lips. “I should kill you for being so treacherous.”
Her laughter grew at this point. She wasn’t afraid of him. She didn’t
care if he hit her…he was a fool if he thought his actions would make
her change her mind or make things better, because it wouldn’t. She had
very carefully rid herself of all her so-called boy friends and he was
the last to be disposed of. She was tired of useless relationships,
tired of the cruel. She wanted to escape it before she ended up like
Shiori, or worse. Her only mistake so far was thinking she could start
things fresh without her past trying to punish her for her crimes. She
was waiting and he was still yelling. His hand over her throat again
pressing hard, blocking the air from her lungs…still…Hard as it was to
breathe she laughed.
“It isn’t funny”, he said. “It isn’t! You…you…whorish cunt! I’ll show
you how serious I am.” He raised his fist and was prepared to pound
into her wicked face.
She shut her eyes. Prepared for the worst and hoping for his true
cowardice to come through she could do nothing but wait. A chilling
wind picked up wrapping around her like death and if that’s what she
was to receive…Then that’s what she was prepared for. It wasn’t like
the foolish boy would ever be able to get away with it. Just as she was
certain she was going to kiss consciousness goodbye the boy gave a loud
yelp. Her throat was quickly released and she opened her eyes. The boy
was being held by the scruff of his collar like a doll. The tall young
woman who held him did not seem at all pleased. Her hazel eyes were
more than a little cat like in the darkness, and her long auburn locks
were mere shadows begging for justice.
She dropped the boy to the ground and held him there with her foot. She
stooped in close to him and whispered, “I don’t think I have to tell
you…exactly how much trouble you’re in. Before you’re expelled I want
to see you in the fencing room after school tomorrow.”
She took her foot away and watched as the boy slowly crawled to his
feet. He was begging and pleading, offering up excuses that fell on
deaf and irritated ears. She stepped in very close to him.
“I f I were you I’d shut my mouth about now”, she said coldly. “In fact
it might be wise, sir…If you ran.”
He didn’t need to interpret. He scurried off as fast as he could in the
direction of his dorm. The lovely panther looked over at the girl
leaning up against the tree. She was smirking slyly and brushed back
her ocean blue hair with her fingers.
“Are you all right?”
The girl huffed. “Oh I’m fine. Nothing I couldn’t handle.” She
regretted trying to sound so brave.
“That’s not exactly the attitude I would take if were you…but…You’re
very lucky you weren’t seriously hurt”, the young woman replied.
“I’ve encountered worse. But it is what I deserve after all.” She
stepped a little closer to her savior, trying to read the fencer’s
face.
“How can you say that Kozue? No one deserves that”, was the soft and
disappointed reply.
The girl huffed. “Those who play the game of cruelty are destined to be
punished eventually Miss Arisugawa. I’ve played it well for most of my
young life…it was bound to catch up to me.”
“You just be glad your brother wasn’t here to see this. I don’t even
want to imagine”; she paused as she noticed Kozue inching closer to
her. “What are you doing?”
Deep and cruel eyes burned with a tempting challenge. “I just want to
thank you.” Her soft arms wrapped around the stoic angel’s neck and she
placed a light kiss on her cheek. She stepped away quickly noting the
quickened pulse of her savior’s heartbeat. “Thank you…” She walked off
slowly. She wished that her hero would chase after her but she knew
better. She could feel the young woman’s searing glare on her as she
walked off, and she wondered…She wondered how long it would take for
the princely girl to fall prey to her want. She smirked and ran her
hand over her aching throat. She loved when things got complicated.
Your intent was never very clear
What are you doing here?
Your smile was softer than the cruel
Taking my heart you break every rule
I wonder why I burn so for your kiss
I wonder what leads me to this
Your intent was never very clear
So…what are you doing here?
Why do you reach to touch my heart
Taking the past to banish the dark
I wonder what leads me to this
Wanting nothing but to take you into pure bliss
Your intent still isn’t very clear
Tell me…
What are you doing here?
She couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t slept in days, and she knew…She knew
that if she didn’t rest soon she wouldn’t be able to maintain her grace
and poise. She’d break under the strain of being the unapproachable
panther everyone seemed to recognize her as. Her hazel eyes looked to
the ceiling for some redemption. They begged for sleep, but the night
refused her. Offering up only emotions and desires that she just wanted
to bury. Even with all the advice the prince had offered up, even with
the hope that resounded in her voice… Juri just couldn’t help but
fight. Even something as simple as sleep she couldn’t manage for
herself. She hated that, and she wished the rage would just vanish.
It’s a simple curse though, and all selfless individuals carry it.
Because the eternally selfless can not help but feel that they are
indeed, eternally selfish. She rolled over gently onto her side and
watched the time tick away on her clock. Random points of concern
manifesting every time she thought her eyes were going to shut. It was
those eyes, which seemed to haunt her the most. Those deeply cruel
ocean blue eyes, that whispered of music and want. She fought the
natural instinct that swelled in her body to accept Kozue’s dare. She
fought it because there was just no way she would be able to leave it
at a single night…or whatever it was that the girl intended. No way to
leave the challenge unharmed or unscared…Besides that girl was the
queen of heartache. One look at the evening’s event proved that. One
look at every thing that had been happening provided all the reasons
why she should fight her want. Still…it was a difficult battle. She was
so tired and she knew…Juri knew that if someone offered her rest she’d
take it.
Break me….
Please….break me
It had been a rather damp and dark day. The rain just wouldn’t stop
falling and in the few breaks that occurred between the storms
everything looked weary. It was odd weather for that time of year.
Usually every day at the academy was like spring, but the weather
didn’t bother her. She was happy for the change, it gave her a chance
to break away from her group of gossiping friends and admire the gray
washed sky. She padded along to her dorm humming a little melody her
brother had written a few days prior to her little “encounter”. It had
happened weeks ago but the campus was still a buzz with the rumors of
why the boy was so swiftly expelled. Much to her surprise…She was never
mentioned in any of the rumors. It was interesting. Her deep blue eyes
sparked with attention as she reached her dorm. Beneath a tree,
politely leaning against the trunk, an arm neatly folded around her
waist was a beautiful panther. Kozue smiled slyly as she approached,
careful not to seem overly pleased at the young woman’s presence. As
she got closer she noted the fencer’s worn appearance. It was well
hidden, but she could tell…Juri was exhausted. She stepped in close and
whispered.
“This is a good way to start a rumor you know…Waiting out here like
this.” She stepped back burning the young woman with her usual
challenge.
Break me…
Make me fall…
Just…please…please..
Juri huffed, “I’m not here to see you. I’m waiting for your brother.”
“I never said you were waiting for me”, was the quick reply. An ocean
blue eyebrow popped up as she could clearly see the need for rest…in
any form hidden with in the angel’s eyes. “ You’ll have a while to wait
though. Miki has a late piano lesson this evening.” She stepped in a
bit closer, feeling the rhythm of her guests breathing. “You’re welcome
to wait inside…if you like.” She whispered closely to Juri’s ear and
then stepped away, walking swiftly inside, hoping to be followed. It
really wouldn’t take much to topple Juri’s walls. No, there was no way
the fencer would be able to fight her much longer. The minute she
entered the building she heard soft noble steps behind her. She tried
to contain her happiness. She spun around and waited for her guest to
say something. Juri walked over to a couch and sat gracefully. She hid
her self well from everyone in the outside world, but Kozue could see.
She could see that the lovely and elegant captain of the fencing team
was tired, to the point of breaking.
Break me
Make me fall…
“Can I get you anything”; she asked softly and walked into the kitchen.
Breaking…me
It’s ever so easy
To break me
Make me fall
“No”, was the stiff reply. She shut her eyes, not sure if she’d be able
to open them again. Moments later she felt the cushions on the sofa
shift and could feel her hostess sliding towards her. “What are you
doing”, she asked with out open her eyes.
Breaking…
Breaking me
Inching close
And whispering along my damaged amour
Whispering an offer to…just…
“Just sitting”, was the slightly wicked reply. “You should get some
rest…When was the last time you slept?”
Falling…
And toppling…
Destroying…all these walls
Whispers…a sweet word
Just to bring me down…just to
Make me…
Just to save me….
The question was surprising. Her weary blue-green eyes opened slowly.
“It really isn’t your concern.”
Will you break me
Will you save me
Take great care and just…
Make me fall…
Make me fall as you say…
“No”, Kozue whispered. She inched closer. “I suppose it isn’t my
concern. Still…You look tired. You should rest.”
The girl was getting a little closer with every breath she took, and it
worried Juri because she wasn’t in a state to fight it. She shut her
eyes again, breathed in deep. “I should go”, she whispered. “Tell your
brother I stopped by.” She tried to stand but found she couldn’t. The
girl next to her brushed a delicate hand across her face and then cool
arms wrapped around her. “What are you doing?” It was almost a plea,
but it was more of an invitation. Her entire being begged her to rest,
begged to let go just once. Still she fought it.
Break me…
Make me fall
Make me give in
And it’ll only take
Just a little push
Breaking me
It’s so easy…
Whisper…sweet and cruel…
Offer…I can’t refuse…
Breaking me….
It’ll be so easy…
Whisper…..
“Don’t you want to rest Juri?” Kozue had never been so informal, she
had never dared. But she knew she could get away with it at that
moment. She pulled the angel closer until her head was resting safely
in her lap. “Don’t you want to sleep?”
And break me
Make me fall….
She couldn’t pull away. She couldn't refuse such an offer. Her eyes
shut slowly as the girl’s fingers ran gently through her hair, and a
slight, whisper of a kiss on her cheek sent her deep into an ocean of
dreams.
After, in the dark
I write the things that plague my heart
I drift to dreams
And landscapes unseen
I swim through the oceans
Of my forgotten emotions
After, in the dark
I write the things that rip me apart
Confess every kiss I wanted to place
Upon your lovely but cruel face
I slay my demons
Bury them in simple reasons
Reasons why I shouldn’t cry
Answers to questions that just won’t die
After, in the dark
After….
And in the dark
I end the game, resign my part
Cast off the masks of the day
Wander to memories that drive them away
And in the end I can not move
I wonder what I’m trying to prove
Keeping myself from telling you all this
In the end it’s something I miss
After…
After, and in the dark
My want for you began to spark
Just now…just…
After…
In the dark
She woke to the sound of a whispered argument. Both voices were
recognizable and both were not meaning to wake her. She sat up and
sighed. She hated when things got difficult. She hated complicating her
life, but she was really good at it. The small quarrel ended and
seconds later Miki emerged from the kitchen with a broad smirk. His
sister followed him. The gracious angel wasn’t surprised when the blue
haired youth didn’t mention anything about her and his sister. He was
interesting that way. Interesting because even though she couldn’t hear
all of the argument she knew…Miki was making sure his sister wasn’t
doing anything cruel or trapping. He was making sure Kozue’s intentions
were honorable, and Juri found that amusing. It was nothing though…She
apologized for falling asleep and told the boy what she needed to. It
was a mistake trying to let the events of the evening just roll off
her. Trying to forget how good it felt to just let everything go and
give in. She wondered if she would ever have cause to do that again.
Finally back in her own room she collapsed onto her bed. A small rap on
her door interrupted her hope for any continued sleep and she sighed
wearily. She collected her self and found her noble demeanor. She
opened the door stiffly and was met with two ocean blue eyes. She
sighed, all her masks slipping to the ground like the rain outside.
“What can I do for you”, she asked. Her eyes full of exhaustion and
sparks of the girl’s early challenge.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Painfully”, was the soft reply.
The girl walked into the room and sat on the bed lightly. Juri shut the
door softly.
“You can’t possibly expect this to ever work”, the stoic angel stated
softly.
The girl shook her head. “I never expect anything to work.”
“I can’t trust you… not after...” She was just making excuses now.
Fighting against what she had already lost to. And it would have made
her smile if she hadn’t still been so tired.
“Then don’t trust me”, Kozue cut in. “Trust that maybe I’ll break your
heart…and maybe you’ll break mine. Trust that and you won’t have to
worry.”
That phrase… “Don’t worry”…she hated it. But it was always the best
advice anyone could ever give her. She took a deep breath and tried her
best to expel her final chains as she exhaled. The lovely panther
walked over and sat on the bed. She inched close to the girl next to
her, waiting for her heart to stop beating…waiting for her breath to
shorten…waiting for memories to fade…waiting for the world to stop and
waiting…waiting for doubt to slip away as once cruel lips met hers. And
as they did… she knew things could never, ever go back to how they once
were. Soft and deep…like the gentle pull of the ocean she found all her
walls falling, and every chain letting go. Cool lips pulled from hers
and gentle arms pushed her back into the softness of the bed. Nimble
fingers tugged at buttons, and shifted unwanted clothing away. A light
and soft hand rested over the fencer’s heart feeling the pulse,
lingering on the rhythm. Juri pulled the girl closer, taking her into a
stormy sea she never knew existed. Creating memories worth looking back
on but never to be uttered out loud. Whispered pleasures hitting the
air only to be replaced by echoed confessions. And in the end when all
was still and both lay in the warm rhythm of their beating hearts…when
a single touch spoke to the volumes in their souls that’s when a
whispered phrase as simple as “Get some rest”, meant the most.
She watched her sleep. She had watched her sleep earlier in the evening
but that was different. That was less innocent and much less meant. She
felt strangely at ease, running her fingers through the lovely angel’s
hair she wondered why. She theorized that perhaps since she meant
everything she gave…it was…in a way more special. Her ocean blue eyes
drifted over to the clock on the wall…Dawn would be intruding much
faster than she wanted. Her delicate fingers slowly pulsed down Juri’s
bare back, causing the beauty to shift slightly and mumble. It brought
a smile to Kozue’s face.
“Sleep well my prince”, she whispered and slid from her lover’s grasp.
She brushed a few strands of soft blue hair from her eyes and headed
for the shower.
Gather the distance
Notice the tide
Wish for dreams
You’ll never be able to hide
Understand the pulse
Feel the pull of this rhythm
Look into my eyes
And know the secrets hidden within them
Inches away from you
Seconds from your touch
More than 3 cm
It’s not close enough
Gather the distance
Notice my stare
Take what I offer
Succumb to the dare
Wander to oceans
And places unseen
Whisper to me your wishes
Your darkest of dreams
And find what you long for
Take only the best
Lay down your head
Sleep my love…Rest….
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