I'm Waiting for My Chance to Say

a Strawberry Panic fanfiction by Asakust

Author's Note: This story is a "Altiverse" (Alternate Universe FanFic). 
A teaser to a story I want to work on. I placed Strawberry Panic in the 
settings of "The World : R2" of the .Hack//Roots and .Hack//G.U. story 
line. If you haven't played it... consider this a side story teaser to 
the game. Also I considered Ichimaru Wolfarm's request in my "Story 
Requests?" Thread for an angsty story... Though I think a tragedy came 
out instead.


Konohana Hikari

I'm in the hospital for the forth time this week. No, I'm not sick or 
anything. In fact I'm incredibly well, aside from an hour or two less of 
sleep than I usually do... I'm very well.

I'm visiting... a person very dear to me.

I love her very much. I just never knew it...

... At least not until it was too late...

I passed thru the hospitals halls. The nurses and doctors have seen me 
so much that they don't bother to make me sign the times I come in and 
out. They even let me stay sometimes. They're really nice.

I found her room. It was on the fourth floor in the west wing. I entered 
and was quite glad to see her alone in the room.

"Ohayo!" I greeted her with a mix of enthusiasm and sadness... but no 
response came. Not that I expected her to, rather I wished that she'd 
surprise me one day and happily greet me with a smile on her beautiful 
face.

I closed the door behind me as I entered and sat on the chair beside her 
bed, the one that I had bought months ago. The hospital's visiting 
stools were just too uncomfortable to sit on. Yes... She's been here for 
quite a long time... months... ten months, two weeks, three days... 
eleven to fourteen hours... to be almost exact. I sometimes can't 
believe I counted how long she's been in a coma... but then again... I 
have a timer to remind me whenever I forget.

I looked at the table beside us, where I had placed a vase of flowers 
two days ago. Lilacs... she said she loved them. Her mansion's gardens 
were full of it. These are from her gardens... I thought that she might 
like to have their familiar scent in her room.

'They'll be withered in another day or two... better bring a fresh 
bouquet tomorrow.' I mentally told myself.

I looked at my... I guess "best friend" would be the best term for now. 
I found myself smiling, upon remembering why the room was redecorated 
and her patient robes change to something red.

It was about a week since she fell into a coma. I had been visiting her 
for three days straight. Then all of a sudden a woman who introduced 
herself as her mother came in and began yelling at the doctors, telling 
them if they want to keep their jobs as well as their lives, they would 
give her daughter a special room colored in Red and Black and give her 
something like that to wear as well. When the doctors asked her why 
these colors, her mother said; "You don't know how bad it'll be if she 
wakes up seeing anything other than Red or Black."

I recalled smiling at the time; when her mom noticed and asked me why, I 
told her that I met up with her daughter once and that she seemed to be 
very angry that day. When I asked her why, she told me she liked only 
seeing red or black when she wakes up, but that day she saw her butler's 
blue uniform when she woke up and that she had almost fired the guy. 
When I asked why not just make them wear red then? She told me; "That'll 
give me one less reason to get angry."

I told her...: "Exactly my point."

She replied with a smile; "Mine too."

I laughed realizing that she wanted some reason to get angry sometimes. 
I found it funny that she did. I didn't realize just how much she needed 
it sometimes... until we got to know each other better.

Looking at her... she seems to be in a peaceful slumber. I feel sad that 
I couldn't remember how her eyes looked, or what color were they... 
There were just so many small things that I have taken for granted.

But there was something I could never forget about her... and it was her 
voice. It's funny actually because she doesn't talk all that much, but I 
can remember her voice. From the very gentle and sad tone she spoke in 
when she first said something to me. And how happy, sweet and loving... 
I heard her last.

Speaking of which... I first met her almost two years ago. In an online 
game called "The World: R2". I was playing my still very low leveled 
character back then. A Harvest Cleric, a character that specializes in 
Healing and Support spells. I had trouble joining leveling parties. But 
I didn't mind all that much. One day I had found this beautiful area 
with a ruined church, which had been covered with a garden.

I had found myself coming back to that area on days I had a lot of 
school work. The ambience of the area made me feel calm and relax 
allowing me to study. I also came on days I had a bad day, to just calm 
down and relax.

But one day, I found someone else there. She was draped with a big black 
cloak with scary red and yellow markings. I recall a guildmate of mine 
telling us stories about a powerful character wearing a black cloak with 
red marks. She claimed that the character was so powerful, that players 
that had experience being killed by her at least once tend to freeze in 
fear with just hearing her name or nickname.

"Angel of Death..." I clumsily said her nickname out loud.

She turned her head ever so slightly to look at me. I felt the fear that 
my guildmate talked about. I froze... I couldn't do anything.

But to my surprise she just turned away, walked towards a shady part of 
the church ruin garden and seemingly took a nap. Or at least made it 
look like her character did. I ran away and returned to an area where 
players can't enter battle mode, the town. And I found a curious 
sensation in my chest... I felt guilty. I was rude to her. I came back 
there the next day but she didn't visit.

However... two days later, I found her there again. In the same shady 
spot she first laid back on. I approached her cautiously. She didn't 
move an inch. When I got near her... I studied her face, which you 
couldn't almost see thanks to the cloak. Her eyes were closed... but 
opened a few seconds later. She had caught me staring at her. I found 
myself freezing again... the same fear that she made me feel days ago 
caught me again. But...

"What?" She said in a soft sad voice. It slowly began to break the tight 
fear that bound me.

I said the first thing I could think of... "I...I...It's aaaa...a 
na..na.nice de..de..day isn't it?" I found myself slapping my real self 
back in my room.

She just looked at me for a minute or two and slowly nodded in response.

I wanted to try and talk to her more. I had this feeling that she isn't 
as bad as the stories made her to be. Having decided that I would stay 
and get to know the mysterious black cloaked character, I sat myself 
down beside her.

"Do you mind if I stay?" I asked in a very nervous voice.

"Kamawan..." She replied in the same soft and sad tone. I wasn't sure if 
she was trying to be cool, but it was working. Maybe she was in this 
area to enjoy the scene too. Unlike regular areas, this place is one of 
the few that don't have monsters and items. It's just a scenic place for 
players to visit and enjoy. Maybe she's studying in real life too. Or 
she could be taking a nap like she does online.

I don't know why but I started singing a song I've been practicing for 
the choir. It was a religious song that sort of fitted this beautiful 
and peaceful garden even though it is a desecrated church.

She said; "You're off key..." when I finished. She then stood up and 
left, which depressed me a little.

For the next few days, I came by and sang... but she wasn't here. This 
went on for weeks; I came there to practice singing... Maybe because I 
wanted her to take back what she said or maybe even praise me. Why 
exactly... was a mystery to me.

But then one day... I was singing when three male players just happened 
to wander in the area. They looked strong. They came towards me, teased 
me and threatened to kill me. And I'm sure they could and would do it 
too. But all of a sudden a black shadow jumps from behind me and the 
three fell to the digital ground and were dead. Behind them was the girl 
in the black cloak, wielding a huge scythe weapon.

She had killed all three of them... in an instant. I thought I was next 
until she spoke to me; "Daijobou?"

"Eh?" I found myself staring, still shivering in fear.

She took a look around before sheathing her weapon. "Dai - jo - bou?" 
She slowly and accentuating every syllable.

"uhmm... Hai." I replied realizing my fear of her had completely 
dissipated.

Her character smiled and said; "Continue. You've getting better." And 
took the seat under the shade I saw her under the first time we met.

I was surprised to hear the words of praise from her. More than enough 
to almost not notice she spoke in two sentences just then. I also 
realized or guessed that she might have... had been here close to me the 
entire time. Probably listening to me while hiding somewhere I couldn't 
see here.

"Were you here listening to me all the time?" I asked. To which she 
responded with a slow nod.

I smiled and sat beside her again. "I'm Hikari, Konohana Hikari." I 
introduced myself.

She turned to me with a curious gaze or at least I found it curious. I 
then panicked when I realized I had just given her my real name. She 
laughed... very hearty. I found it hard to get angry. Her laugh sounded 
so honestly happy at that short moment that I couldn't get mad and take 
it from her.

Then to my surprise she gave me her Member Address. "Naya – Status 
Online..." I read the small notice that appeared in my visor screen. I 
decided to give her mine as well. We have been together since then. Most 
of my guildmates could not believe that I had become good friends with 
"the Angel of Death". That is until they saw me leveling with her in a 
really though dungeon.

I took her left hand from where it laid on her side, grasping it with 
both hands. It was warm. She was still so warm. I idly placed in on my 
cheek, acting like she's holding me. Just like that day...

We were walking around a dungeon, it all seemed peaceful and clear. That 
was because we... well she had just killed off all the monsters there, 
with a little support from me. I was telling her some pointless things I 
saw in TV that day but mostly I was talking about this girl who I have 
been crushing on, who is this very popular TV star and coincidentally a 
special guildmate of ours.

But then we heard and eerie tone...

"HIKARI!!!" She yelled and pushes my character away all of a sudden. I 
screamed a bit in surprise. I got a little mad. I turned her to give her 
piece of my mind... that was when I saw. A strange black spear, that 
appeared like bubbles of black and white... pierced thru her character's 
abdomen and nailing itself onto the floor holding her character in 
place.

"Naya?!" I called out worriedly.

"Stay Away!" She ordered, trying not to look at my direction. She 
sounded like she was in so much pain. The black spear then disappeared 
with small popping noises could be heard around.

She began to fall... "Naya!" I called out and rushed to catch her. I 
felt scared... not of my friend, but of what was happening to her.

Her character was fading... Pieces of her eroded and became sparking 
dust. I held her tight. I felt that my partner... my guildmate... my 
best friend... was being taken from me.

"NAYA!!! NAYA!!!"

"Answer me!!!"

"Say something!"

"NAYA!!!"

I yelled, shook, and screeched... trying to get her attention. Or should 
I say to try and keep her conscious.

"Please..." I don't know why, but even the visual feed my character was 
feeding my indicated that she was in tears as well.

"Hikari..." I gasped softly, a bit happy that she responded to me. I 
made my character look at her character's face. And I found her looking 
straight at mine.

"Don't cry... It doesn't suit you."

"Naya-chan..."

"Ne... Hikari... I've... always... wanted... to tell... you... this..." 
she sounded like she was having trouble breathing. My anxiety rose with 
each word she spoke. I feared that the next word would be her last. But 
I had to be strong... She tells me I am... I have to show her that I 
am... that I can be... for her.

"What is it?" I asked, not because I was curious... but rather I wanted 
her to keep talking... At that time I knew if she stopped talking... I 
would loose her.

She looks at me and lifts left hand. I clasped it and placed it on my 
right check and held it there. Her smile oddly seems brighter. And I 
could almost feel her... her warmth.

"...Ai...shi..te..ru..."

"Ya...ya...!" Without meaning to so I spoke out her real name, something 
she had made me promise not to do in the game.

"ehehe... You... called me... by my name..." her character smiles widely 
and her voice though weak and ragged sounded very happy.

"Yaya..." I called her again, no longer caring about that promise. It 
felt right. I'm sure she'd forgive me.

She giggled very softly, almost out of breath... "my vision is getting 
dark... Gomen... Hikari, I think I'll go to sleep... now." Her 
character's eyes... closed. The rate of her character vanishing 
increased when they did...

"YAYAAAAAAAAA." I held her incredibly tight screaming her name over...

"YAYAAAAAAA"

and over...

"YAYAAAAA"

and over...

"YAYAAA"

again...

...

"YAya..."

and again...

"Yaya..."

and...

"...yaya..."

again...

... until only feathers of her character's dark wings remained in my 
hands.

"IIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." I cried...

It had not occurred to me to call her house phone or cell phone. Or 
maybe I just knew... that she wouldn't be answering me. And that instead 
she would be lying on her computer, almost lifelessly in a coma. It took 
a while but I figured that I should at least I call, so that her maids 
can take her to the hospital.

The next day... The doctors at the hospital have diagnosed her of "Doll 
Syndrome" a type of coma that they have yet to find a cause. She was 
given special care and only the best doctors. To my surprise her family 
had been more than welcoming to my visits and presence.

Two weeks later... Her lawyer called me to visit Yaya's mansion. He told 
me that I have been given more than seventy percent of all her physical 
and financial assets. In her last will, he said that in case she dies or 
falls into a coma. She wishes to leave all her possessions to the person 
she trusts the most... me... Konohana Hikari. And just like that she had 
given me her mansion, her rest houses, her private plane, her cars, a 
lot of her businesses and even her game account. But that didn't make me 
happy...

That same day I used her computer... I was surprised to find so many 
screenshots of my character. She had logged all our chats... and 
recorded my mindless babbling. There was even a diary especially written 
to log what I've said, did, and went with her.

I was in shock of just how much she loved me. I slowly grew to realize 
something...

I had switched to private tutors instead of going to high school and 
took it upon myself to live her life for her. I learned to run her 
businesses, handle her assets, I even meet with her family ever so 
often.

And of course, I visit her in her hospital room... everyday. Waiting for 
the day, she opens her eyes again.

Which is exactly what I'm doing right now; holding her soft warm hand... 
leaning by her bed side... waiting for my chance to say:

"Yaya-chan... I love you too..."

The End?


Author's Note: Red and Black aren't really Nanto Yaya's Favorite colors, 
they're mine. I'm just making it look like they're hers too. But there 
are small hints of Yaya liking red. Also the Lilac flower is said to 
symbolize "First Love" and no! They're probably not her favorite either.

I had been playing .Hack//G.U. Rebirth and Reminisce lately, which sort 
of lead to this short story. I've been planning to write a longer 
Altiverse story, using Strawberry Panic characters and .Hack// settings. 
And Yeah... this could just be a sample of that. Meaning what happened 
here and what could happen when I write it, if I write it... could be 
very different.

Anyway I used a lot of Japanese didn't I? Just felt like trying it 
out... I guess.

Japanese words used: (not quite sure if I spelled them right in romaji. 
But it's more or less correct in pronunciation.)

Ohayo: Good Morning (Greeting)

Kamawan: Don't Care, Don't Matter

Daijobou: "Are you alright?" Or "I'm alright" (depending on the 
situation and how it's said I guess.)

Aishiteru: "I love you"

Iya: "No"

Hai: "Yes"

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