Notes: My story, my rules. This follows Under Pressure, so you probably wanna read that first, though I suppose you don't have to. This is for everyone who encouraged Miyuki lovin's and kept giving me such wonderful ideas. Please enjoy.The cold of winter is finally fading away and I find myself growing more restless by the day. Yes, this is the path I have chosen for myself. Law school at least. Some things I would have liked for myself are best left forgotten. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I've engagment offers pouring in by the week, none of which I'm inclined to even consider. My family however feels a bit differently on the matter, but has thankfully cut me some slack. I knew always getting good grades and acting proper would have come in handy at some point. "We trust in your decisions, darling. Just don't hesitate too long or all the good ones will be gone," my parents remind me every time we talk. At least being away at school provides me with the freedom of being away from them. Lately though class has felt so constricting, as if I'm drowing in this life I have settled for. I know why, but I choose to block it from my memory as best as I can. But someone is trying desperately not to let me block it out. The only time I have ever had Sachiko so angry at me. She is silly for believing I would have ever acted differently. Yet she has persisted, for three months now, to tell me how dissapointed she is in her onee-sama. And after I had been so kind to her at our last meeting. "Are you even listening to me Youko?" She sighs in frustration and I supress a laugh. What has that Shizuma done to my well trained petite soeur? If only I could afford to be as reckless as the two of them. Though I suppose that's what love does. I wouldn't know. "Yes, I'm listening. And again, I don't know how to help you Sachiko. Just tell her I said hi, won't you?" "I will not!" I hear Shizuma in the background trying to calm her as well. "Really, it's okay. Miyuki is fine you don't have to be so dramatic." "See? Even her best friend agrees. Just because the girl inquires about my well being when speaking to Shizuma doesn't mean she has any emotional ties to me. Why speak to someone I've only met for a night? A night three months ago, none the less." "I'm not expecting you to do anything, but you could have called her. Drunk or not it is your responsibility to at least have the manners to have spoken to her since." "And pretend to care?" I do. "No. Yes. Who cares? If she's still kind enough to ask how you are after what you did to her, don't you think she deserves that much?" "You act as if I raped her Sachiko. We kissed. A lot. But that was it. Why should I owe her anything?" "You are cruel. What about what you said to me? About being proud, about being human?" "Oh Sachiko, I'm not cruel. Aren't you the cruel one? Yes, we all let our guard down around each other, our real family. With each other we are free. But what about when we are apart? Has your engagment ceased to exist? Is it not you who is cruel by letting Shizuma love you when you're bound to break her heart? Why even bother to get to know someone, when you know what the outcome will be?" I sip my tea and sigh. I know that was a low blow, but it is the truth. Why bother trying to find happiness when you know you will only have it ripped from your clutches once you do? "So you lied to me, about being proud for having found my happiness?" "And what happens when you give into your happiness? Do you think you will be able to live on love alone? Sachiko I am more proud of you then you could ever know for following your own path. That doesn't mean that my path has to be the same as yours though." Proud I am. Jealous, a bit. But foolish enough to risk heartbreak and poverty? No. At least not until I know I can stand on my own two feet without the support of my family. "Shizuma and I will find a way," she says quietly, her anger dissipating some. "I hope that you do. And you know that if you choose that path, I will always be here to support you. Just because I am no longer in school with you doesn't mean that I am not your onee-sama." "I know. I just want you to be happy too." "I'm happy enough. Don't fret, Sachiko. Miyuki seemed like a nice enough girl, but we live in different worlds. Right now I have no room in my life for new friends, much less anything more. Please believe me when I say I am doing my best, for everyone that I love." The conversation changes to lighter subjects from that point. To Yumi's preparation to take on her role as Rosa Chinensis once Sachiko graduates. The never ending bickering of Rei and Yoshino. Shimako's never ending battle between religions. I wish I could show better how I love them all. When we hang up I return to my studies. My real life. School work and sleep. Flirting with the boys on campus, pretending to give a damn, but not too much of one lest they get carried away. The days drone on slowly for me as I play my role to perfection. Sachiko stops calling me, and I'm relieved that she has given up on her rampage of justice. The memories of that night fade, along with the swell of happiness I had from being with the only people I truly care about. It makes it easier to be away, to be miserable, when you forget what happiness is like. ---- Life at Miator is more or less dull without Shizuma's antics. Hikari and Amane preform their duties as Etoile to perfection. Spica shines now, much to Shion's delight. It seems as if Yaya and Tsubomi will be joining together in the next election for Etoile, and seem favored to win despite how young Tsubomi is. Lulim, as usual, has managed to keep out of the spotlight. My graduation is only a month away and I feel myself dreading the future almost as much as I am anticipating it. I have been training Tamao to take over my position on the student council, confident in entrusting the duties to her. Her popularity has really taken a great leap since her precious Nagisa has come to this school and pulled her out of her shell. As for school life everything is mediocre, hardly challenging in these last few months. I've been accepted into all the universities I have applied for and with my families support I've decided to travel for the summer. America, or perhaps Europe, should be a good test of my education, and a good taste of freedom. The only problem? My family doesn't want me to go alone. Of course I have plenty of friends here that I could take, and I have been thinking of asking Chikaru who has ben a great support to me since Shizuma's transfer. I'm sure she's made plans of her own though considering it's our last bit of freedom before university. I suppose I don't really have anyone I consider to be close enough to that I would want to spend a month with them overseas. Shizuma is really the only one, but I know after graduation her and Sachiko are going to have a lot of new problems to face. While she has invited me to stay with her, I know I need to find my own path now and stop being dependant on her. I have even told her as much, though she still insists. Finally we did reach an agreement of sorts. She will be here for my graduation, after which I will return with her to Tokyo to support her in her own graduation. If in two weeks I haven't given up on my notion to escape the country, she will let me go without complaint. Until then however, I have to stay with her to celebrate our impending adulthood. "Miyuki!" Nagisa calls to me as her and Tamao aproach me outside of the counil meeting room. "Hello, Nagisa-chan," I reply with a smile. It's easy to see why Tamao was so smitten with her. The smile she has is infectious. "Hello Tamao." "I'm not too late for the meeting am I? Nagisa got us in trouble during class again," Tamao says trying her best to look stern with her companion. "Not at all. The meeting is canceled actually. And Nagisa-chan, if you want Tamao to run the student council for Miator you have to start behaving yourself during school hours. And you have to stop letting her distract you Tamao. The whole school will be looking to follow the example you set for them," I chastize but not too harshly. Sometimes I swear if Shizuma had stayed her and Nagisa would have hit it off almost as well as her and Sachiko had. And so another day passes as dull as the last. Day after day nothing changes as I prepare myself to leave the only place I have ever considered home. The only thing I have to look forward to is knowing I'm the only one who has nothing to look forward to. ---- "So many of you to greet me. I'm touched," I say as I see not only Sachiko to greet me at the airport but the whole gang. Even Eriko who flew in just yesterday. "We're finally all together again," Sei cheers as she wraps her arms around me and Eriko. I watch as Eriko casually slides out of Sei's grasp so that she can hug me. "I see that. I hadn't realized I was so special to deserve all this," I saw which is partially true. This is also slightly embarassing. "Well, we've worked things out with your family Youko," Sei says with the mischevious grin I could never forget. "Tonight we stay at Sachiko's." "Tomorrow's a road trip!" Yumi finishes with the same enthusiasm. Really what has happened to the dignity of the Chinensis line? I look at everyone, and I do mean everyone, one by one and realize they are all serious. Okay. Fine. I can do spontaneous. After all I have no problem relaxing with them. That is until I see Sachiko and Shizuma grinning. "You aren't," I say, my eyes narrowing. The old argument comes rushing back to memory. "I guess you should have called, onee-sama," Sachiko says smugly, obviously proud of herself. Okay, so Miyuki is graduating too. I pay attention. We're all taking a road trip there. I want to be angry at Sachiko, but really I have a feeling this was more Sei's work than hers. And it does have potential for fun, even if I do have to brave some awkwardness. "We're still going to get to stop at the Buddhist temples, right?" Noriko asks quietly, obviously learning enough about Sei to know it's quite possible to be duped by her without knowing it. God knows that was one lesson it took me long enough to learn. "Of course! How could I let my soeurs down like that?" Sei asks as she mocks a hurt expression. "You couldn't even let me see my family first?" I ask as I pull Sachiko to the side. Ok, so I'm midly irritated, but I can make the best of it. "This was Sei's doing. She thought since it's the first time we've all been together since you graduated we should do something special. When I told her Shizuma and I were going to Astrea for Miyuki's graduation and to bring her back for ours, well... You know Sei." She gives a helpless shrug and I know she's telling the truth. Seeing Miyuki can't be all that bad. It's not like I'm some sort of narcissist who has a crush on someone who is practically my twin. Right? Besides, I'm sure Miyuki has forgotten about that incident by now, and aren't we all adults here? "I'm driving!" Sei pumps her fist in the air as she grabs Rei's keys. At least most of us are. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I hope you enjoyed it. I never knew writing Youko would be so fun.
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