Author’s Notes: This story was slightly inspired by the ending theme “Hikari” from Fate Stay/Night Episode 14. If you have the track I suggest playing it while reading the story.
The title was originally Love Letters. But when I heard this song and saw the title, it seemed to fit the story I had in mind. Note: that the lyrics I’m using is directly taken from the episode that was dubbed by Eclipse fansubs. I cannot say that it’s perfect, as I don’t speak Japanese very well (just the basics and even then I’m still sort of bad XD). This is slightly a song fic thanks to this song.
Also I’d like to dedicate this story to a special someone who changed my life. You’ll know it’s you when you’ve read it. And I’d like to say this to that person: “Thank You. I love you.”
Warning: Slight Spoilers!
Please Review!
Strawberry Panic!
Hikari (Light)
-----------------
Ano hi sorezore… ayunda michi ni
(That day, we went… our separate ways…)
-----------------
Yaya returned to her singles dorm room. It was Ootori Amane’s two years ago, she had traded her room to Yaya to be with Hikari. She had been living alone there, ever since Hikari and Amane won the Etoile elections over a year ago. She had pretty much given up on Hikari’s affections. Giving it her best effort to let go of her feelings and desire for Hikari. It was hard for her the first few months and she occasionally broke down and cried, with Tsubomi at her side. Yaya never asked her to be there, but she never asked her to leave either.
She strove to get over Hikari, she had quitted the Saintly Chorus after joining the Kendo Club. It wasn’t easy, but the hard physical training helped her keep her mind away from Hikari. A year later… Nanto Yaya, The Raven Blade, was making legends in the Kendo world. Her talents didn’t stop at singing it seemed; she excelled in her studies becoming an honor student, she became athletic and competitive, she painted, she played the violin, and was almost recruited by the Horse Riding Club… which she humbly declined.
During that year, her contact with Hikari was barely a Etoile – Scholar/Champion/Artist basis. They were both busy, Hikari had her Etoile duties and she had her new responsibilities. Occasionally someone would invite everyone over in Nagisa or Tamao’s room for one of their Midnight Tea parties. It was difficult for everyone the first time… It took them nearly half a year to begin being comfortable around each other again, being that Hikari was Etoile-sama, Nagisa had realize Tamao’s feelings and Yaya had just quit the choir. They all felt a little awkward here in there. But they were somehow able to put up a farce. Yaya, for the first few months acted like nothing was wrong. She teased everyone and messed with everyone like she had done so before. Eventually, her personality changed… she had become a much more mature and gentle woman, despite her passion and ferocity when it comes to Kendo and Athletics. Such meetings stopped eventually, no one could remember when or why.
She had later become Spica’s “Enchantress” a name given by Lulim’s Newspaper club, after publishing a special edition about her which included a huge number of love letters the Newspaper club found Yaya throwing away. The Newspaper club was punished by their school and was almost forcefully disbanded for publishing the love letters without the consent of the writer. Had Yaya not written a letter in response to everyone’s letter and had it published by them. She had written that her honest feelings at the time, or at least she thought she was. She had told them all; that she was happy that they felt that way about her. But she was not ready to love anyone, yet… again. Her fans and admirers understood somehow, but still sent her letters and gifts time and again.
Today was one such day… her bag has been half filled with letters and gifts. To her surprise there was a big box inside her room filled with gifts, letters and flowers. There was so much that she had stopped responding to anyone of them, especially when she realized that replying made them send more. She remembered that Amane, “The ex-Prince of Spica” who graduated last year, didn’t accept gifts. She realized why she did so, after the first month she received so many. But she just didn’t have the heart to decline them so openly like Amane did years ago.
But even though she never replies to the gifts anymore she liked reading them. She was intrigued by the creative ways and words the girls chose, to express their love or admiration for her. One such letter came as a Katana with the love letter was engraved on the length of it’s blade. She was impressed, it even came with its owns stand.
‘I’m keeping this one.’ She thought happily and set the gift aside with the few things she likes keeping.
After a few dozen letters, Yaya spots a yellow box tied with a blue ribbon. She opens it and finds a beautiful wooden music box. She opens it but it doesn’t play. She found a letter engraved inside its lid.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yaya,
I'm sorry if this is of any inconvenience to you.
The key to wind this music box is still with me.
I have something I must tell you…
Would you meet with me in the church?
Any day you are free is fine...
I will be waiting…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yaya read the contents of the letter. She was sort of impressed, the engraving had been done by machine but she was more or less sure that someone had hand written the letter first before the machine had engraved it on the metal. The music box held her favorite color, red. She began to wonder why, did the sender keep the key. Other than making her come which was a bad idea, after all she could just discard the thing and not care about the sender like she had done with hundreds of other gifts. She also began to wonder about the sender. She didn’t leave a name. And unlike most if not all the previous letters she had received this one did not address her with her full name or even an honorific… just Yaya. She was getting curious. But she wasn’t about to give in. Instead she decides to just keep the music box until either she actually decides to go meet this person or the key comes later.
She was tired. She had just arrived from a Kendo tournament with her team later than expected. It was passed curfew too surely the sender won’t be there today. ‘Why am I thinking about it? It’s just a music box. But who could it be…?’ Those were Yaya’s thoughts before she succumbed to sleep.
A month later…
-----------------
ima no boku wa donna fuu ni iiwake wo sureba iinodarou
(what kind of excuses should I come up with now…)
-----------------
Yaya had not thought about the music box after that. She had projects to complete and kendo practice to keep her mind busy. The last thing on Yaya’s mind was who sent her that box.
“Konnichiwa! Yaya-sempai!” Yaya was eating her lunch, when a certain pink haired underclassman greeted her.
“Ah! Tsubomi-chan. How are you?” It wasn’t unusual for Tsubomi to be seen around “The Enchantress” though it was an envious sight for a lot of Yaya’s fans for a while. Tsubomi after all had been at Yaya’s side ever since Hikari had become Etoile.
“I’m fine. But I still have a lot of run ins with some of your fans. Either they’re telling me to stay away from you or they’re asking me stuff about you.” She lightheartedly told her. Tsubomi had gone from being a worriedly annoying to a more relax friend close of Yaya. If anyone would probably ask, Yaya would tell them that Tsubomi is her best friend. Despite the past tension between them.
Yaya laughed softly and very ladylike as her underclassman tells her the antics of her Fans.
“By the way… I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while. Why did you cut your hair Tsubomi-chan?” Tsubomi no longer had the long straight hair that she used to have. Instead her hair had a rather rough boyish cut, which oddly reminded her of “The Prince of Spica”, Amane’s hair style. Yaya could remember that Tsubomi had her hair cut short soon after the Etolie Elections and had kept it that way for quite a while now. Until now Yaya never asked her about it, but for some reason she thought now seemed a good time to ask.
“I didn’t cut it because of a lost love if that’s what you mean.” Tsubomi retorted, instinctively being as defensive as she was two years ago.
Yaya couldn’t help but softly giggle as she notices Tsubomi’s blush. “That didn’t even cross my mind.”
Tsubomi blushed even harder, realizing that she had actually confessed the reason for her cutting her hair. She scowled and pouted childishly at Yaya for being a mean tease, even though she might not have meant to do so. The both knew, they both had fallen for the same girl. They didn’t say it when they cried together. But they knew for certain… that they did.
Yaya just smiled at Tsubomi admiring the beautiful young, if slightly boyish and childish, lady that she had grown into. She had become the star of the Saintly Chorus after a year of dedication. Yaya rarely misses her concerts. Rumor has it; if Nanto Yaya was going to become Etoile. She would most likely choose Okuwaka Tsubomi as her partner. Though the two don’t seem to be romantically involved, everyone believes if Yaya chooses or is convinced to join the Etoile Elections this year, Tsubomi is the one girl everyone believed she’d ask.
The two separate ways after lunch exchanging soft a “See you later” and a wave as the parted. Tsubomi has all but forgotten the embarrassing event earlier with Yaya. She actually misses the days where Yaya teases her to no end.
Classes went smoothly for Yaya today. It was Friday, and luckily one of the days she has off from all her activities. She returns to her dorm room wanting to give herself a bit of time to relax in privacy. As she leaned on her table she notices the Red music box she had gotten a month ago. She puts a hand on the box, opens it and reading the letter engraved inside again.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ll be waiting…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I’ll be waiting… huh?”
Yaya emptily looked at the engraving, as she sat on her desk chair. She held her face on her palm and almost boringly starting staring at the box for a while. She looked at the clock. It was still early. But it had been almost if not a month over since she had gotten this. If she actually went to see this person it’s almost like checking to see if she’s going to wait for her. She had originally decided not to answer anymore letters.
“I think I’ll go to the church to pray a little…” She closes the music box and heads out of her room.
Taking the scenic route towards the church, this was to avoid seeing anyone on the way, namely her fans. She had learned to appreciate the nature that surrounds their campus thanks to them. She was sort of glad that her fans haven’t noticed her sneaking into the forests to get her way around and at the same time oddly disappointed that they haven’t.
The church was empty when she arrived.
“So… miss “I’ll be waiting…” where are you now.” She mockingly whispered to herself. She approached the altar slowly, recalling the many memories that the church held for her. The Saintly Chorus, Her victory celebrations, the Etoile Election, friends…
While waiting for the sender. She walked around inside the church, parts of it that held even the tiniest of memory. She slowly found her way to the church’s back garden; it was her special place two years ago, she stood there for a while… reminiscing, thinking, enjoying the cool breeze that gently caressed her skin.
“Hikari…” She whispered. She recalled memories of her ex-best friend. Their meeting, their times together, her warmth, her softness, her voice, her smiles, her tears… She thought that she was over her… that is at least since last year, she thought was over her.
She was silent for a while, contemplating on what to do. The one who sent the box wasn’t here. And she had no real business here. It felt like the times she hid away to ditch school and choir… being somewhere with no real purpose. And with no real purpose almost out of whim she began to sing:
“kedakaki yuri no shiro no gotoku…” (Like the white of a sublime lily,)
To her surprise a familiar voice sings the next line from behind her.
“fushigi bara no rei ni no gotoku…” (like the spirit of a mysterious rose,)
She turns in surprise and comes face to face with former Etoile, Saintly Chorus member, Roommate, and Best friend… Konohana Hikari.
Yaya was speechless she had not seen Hikari in person for quite a while now. It was fine… for her cause anyway. The more distance she had with Hikari, the more likely she was to sooner or later let go of her feelings. Or at least that was what she believed.
She looked at the blond girl. Her deep blue eyes distracted Yaya from noticing the soft blush that formed on her cheeks. Hikari had gotten taller as well, she was almost as tall as she is now. She had this air of confidence with her now, she was no longer that cute girl in the choir… two years ago.
Yaya smiled, softly at her. Trying her best not to show the feeling of uncertainty that began shadowing her heart, the moment she saw Hikari’s soft blue eyes.
-----------------
kakushikirenai yowasa kanji yamikumo ni tsumazuku tabi ni
(I sense an in concealable weakness, and every time I suddenly stumble…)
-----------------
‘I thought that my heart has forgotten all about you…’
“Hikari...”
Yaya’s voice was like her eyes… shaking. She was very near tears but she tried her best to hold it.
“You finally came… Yaya.” Hikari said in a high soft and sweet voice.
Yaya was surprised. “Finally?..” she asked with a bewildered look in her eyes.
Hikari nodded and blushed. “I’ve waited for you to come here for quite a while now.”
“…waited?” she curiously repeated… ‘Was she the one who sent me the music box?’ Yaya asked herself.
“Since when…?”
Hikari looked away, her blush deepening its crimson shade. “About a year now…”
“I see…” Yaya sounded disappointed. She wasn’t at all thinking why Hikari was coming and waiting for her at the church for a year. Her mind, in that instant was distracted by the letter in the red music box.
Hikari saw the sad look on Yaya’s face and almost faltered. She had made a vow to herself: and that was to never hurt Yaya again. From her eyes, Yaya was happy now. She is popular, talented, intelligent, athletic… the last thing she needed in her life was for someone like her to make her heart suffer again. That was why she probably declines everyone who tried confessing their love to her. But deep in her heart, she wished that Yaya still loved her. Like Yaya had before. Now that she realized the pain of loving someone that might not love you back and not realizing what you’ve had till it’s gone.
She only wanted to see her again… hear her voice again… which was the reason she kept coming to this church each and everyday. She knew that Yaya wouldn’t come here on her own, this place held so many painful memories for her… Hikari knew that much even if Yaya has never said it. But still she went everyday… hoping, wishing, dreaming of the day she’d come.
They stood there in silence for a while. Neither of them knew what to say to each other, Yaya especially. She had not truly meant to separate herself from the blond girl this much. She had been hoping that she could still be her best friend. But that wish died the moment she stepped out their shared dorm room. Nothing was the same, she had to cope somehow… or go crazy, which was a much more appealing and easy option at the time.
“I should get going…” Yaya said to her softly and began to walk towards the exit.
‘Things have changed so much, we’ve changed so much… I love her. I have to let her go.’
Hikari caught Yaya’s hand, to both their surprise.
“Hikari?...” Yaya stopped and looked at Hikari, beginning to feel disoriented.
‘I don’t deserve you… after what I’ve done…’
Hikari looked at Yaya, hesitantly. Her lips quivered at sight of the watery glow of Yaya’s amber eyes. She softened her grip on her hand and slowly taking steps to close the gap between them. Her free hand shook as she reached for Yaya’s waist, lightly tracing her enchantingly wondrous curves. Causing Yaya to blush and whimper at the soft touch.
“Hi…Hikari?...” Yaya looked at Hikari, mystified by the gentle air of desire that enveloped the blond girl. She allowed Hikari pull her towards herself. The feeling of helplessness enveloped her. Her Kendo skills, her athletics, her pure physical advantage over the once timid blond didn’t register at that moment. Or maybe deep inside her, she just didn’t want to escape from her.
Their bodies touch, both girls could feel the other’s warmth and couldn’t help but be lost in it. Their eyes never once broke contact, until a tear began to fall from Yaya’s eye. She turned her head to hide it.
Hikari looked at Yaya. She didn’t care anymore… her desire was stronger than her resolve.
“Yaya-chan…” Hikari muttered in a tearful voice. Hikari’s reuse of the honorific caused Yaya to look at her again. Her eye’s few open in surprise to see… to feel… Hikari’s lips on her own.
-----------------
ano hi no kimi toiu sonzai ga kono karada wo shimetsukeru
(Your existence from that day, strangles this body…)
-----------------
‘She’s kissing me…!’ Yaya thought as her mind was in panic ordering her to get free and run away, from the blonde girl telling her she’s suffered enough… but her body was in ecstasy at Hikari’s feathery touch, the lingering wish to feel and hold Hikari for the past two years held her where she stood. The small desire she had to run away was sooner lost as Hikari’s light arms seized her from behind. She felt lost, between love and her desire not to hurt again. Yaya didn’t move, she just stood… or tried to remain standing. She didn’t reciprocate the kiss. Her heart felt like it was being strangled slowly being crushed by love and fear.
‘she’s not kissing me back… I guess I should have expected that…’ A tear fell from Hikari’s eyes when she closed them as she slowly broke the kiss.
She let go of Yaya, even took a step back. And mentally prepared herself to apologize for what she had just done. But before she could… she hears a soft thud and ruffling of the grass. Opening her eyes, Hikari found Yaya sitting on the ground, eyes opened and flowing of tears with a slightly flushed but blank stare on her face. Her mind initially assumed the worst, that her ex-best friend found it painful… that her kiss either brought back bad memories or that she had someone else in her heart now… She instinctively knelt and began apologizing.
“Yaya-chan! I’m sorry! I…”
But Yaya wasn’t thinking that all…
‘What does that mean… that kiss… that feeling… she loves me? ...’
‘So what if she loves you now?!’
‘I see… Hikari loves me…’
‘You don’t love her anymore!’
‘That’s not true…’
‘…?!’
‘I still love her…’
“… didn’t mean to… AH!”
And before Hikari could finish… Yaya placed her arms around her and pulled her close and held tightly to herself. Hikari felt afraid for flickering moment. But that was soon over when she saw Yaya’s teary eyes, welling up with love, desire and forgiveness.
“Hi…Hikari…Hikari! I’ve waited so long… I love you…”
Yaya then captured her lips, returning her kiss… and allowed three years worth of unrequited love to flow with every touch, every breath and that one long heartfelt kiss.
‘She still loves me… after all the pain I’ve given her…’ Hikari inwardly apologized to Yaya for the pain she had put her thru, and promised to herself that no matter what, she was not going to make Yaya regret what she had just selfishly made her say just now. Hikari wrapped her arms around Yaya once again. Regretting the two years she had deprived herself of her love. She slowly but just as passionately begins to return Yaya’s warm and heartfelt kiss.
-----------------
yuruginai jibun mirai wo chikatte kimi no sono tsuyoi manazashi wo shinjite
(I stand firm and swear to the future. I will believe in the look in your strong eyes…)
-----------------
Neither knew how long their third kiss lasted nor who broke it. Unlike the first which was one sided for Yaya and unlike the second that was one sided for Hikari, the third kiss felt like their real first kiss. No one knew who broke it, and neither cared… there were lots more chances for them to share even better ones later. They didn’t speak for a while. Instead they enjoyed each other’s warm embrace.
It was nearing dusk, curfew was close. But for some reason neither found it a reason to head back just yet. Yaya happily lied down and rested her head on Hikari’s lap as she sat on same part patch of grass they kissed on.
“Yaya-chan, what made you come here?” asked the blond as see playfully traced Yaya’s face.
“A music box.” The raven haired vaguely answered.
“A music box?” Hikari disappointedly but curiously asked.
“Actually, the music box’s sender asked me to come here… about a month ago. Now I regret not coming sooner...” Yaya answered, trying badly not to shiver at Hikari’s touch.
“Was it a red music box?”
Yaya nodded. “How did you know?”
“I received this about a month ago.” Hikari showed her a key like wing pendant. “It came with a letter, saying that the one with a red box will some here someday.”
“So…” Yaya blushed, realizing that they were more or less tricked into meeting each other again.
“Hai?...” Hikari asked brightly and mischievously.
But Yaya just blushed harder, realizing that she wasn’t used to seeing Hikari’s cute face anymore. “Iie, it’s nothing…”
“You’ve change a lot Yaya-chan… You’ve become quite tame. It’s usually me that blushes.” Hikari muttered softly.
Yaya giggled softly at some memories of Hikari blushing, and mostly because of her teasing.
“Yeah… Time does that to people…” Repeatedly glancing away from Hikari to somewhere else in the church feeling her heart beat faster each time her eyes laid themselves on the blond girl.
‘You’ve change so much yourself Hikari…’
Hikari smiled and let a soft content giggle escape her lips as she traced a heart on Yaya’s chest.
“Let’s hope time doesn’t apply for us here. Ne? Yaya-chan?”
She needed no answer, at least not vocally. Hikari’s smile grew when Yaya clasped her hand with hers and kept it on her chest, letting Hikari’s pulse guide the beating of her own heart. Finally she was truly happy…
-----------------
tabidatta sora koduku nimo nita jiyuu hikikaesu koto wa shitakunai dake
(The skies I have traveled have a freedom similar to solidarity, I just don’t want to turn back.)
-----------------
Just by the door inside stood Tsubomi, who had seen every moment of her two favorite Upperclassmen shared just now. She sadly smiled, happy that their lonely and unrequited love had finally come to an end there... Yet sad that she had to suffer it twice… She began to walk away taking slow soft steps so as not to disturb the two. She decides to tell the sister that Hikari and Yaya-sempai got held up with some work and might be late.
“I should call Amane-sempai tomorrow...”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author’s notes: I wrote this as a break from the drama in Yaya’s voice. And to be honest I’m running on caffeine and adrenaline right as I’m finishing this. So it may not be as good as I willed it when my brain was functioning at full efficiency.
Also I'd like to state that, I'm only making up that Yaya is incredibly talented as you may have noticed that too in my other fic Yaya's Voice. I do not know the extent of her talents, but it makes a nice juicy story huh? And also about her favorite color I don't know if it is red. But she wears red a lot in the series... so I assumed it was that and red is my favorite color. XD
Anyway I hope you liked it. It’s slightly OOC though I believe. But it made me feel all “WAFFY” and even had tears in my eyes almost every time I reread it when I edited, so yeah… I’m satisfied.