Blue-Haired Gray Eyes, Blue-Haired Brown Ones (part 11 of 12)

a Strawberry Panic fanfiction by bleeding.blade

Back to Part 10
Miyuki unties the envelope with nervous anticipation. The first thing 
she retrieves is a card with an unsigned poem. The dedication reads, To 
my beloved Miyuki-sama. Miyuki guesses, quite accurately and with 
growing emotion, that the poem in her hand is the first that Tamao has 
written since she had claimed to have stopped writing poetry altogether.

Rainbow's End

I waited in the rain

For a rainbow that never came

Never came for me

Though I waited

Though I knew its colors

Though I searched its end

(Do rainbows end?)

But then I found you

While waiting in the rain

And if that rainbow ever came

I may know its colors

I may have searched its end

But I already have you

My love, my rainbow's end

Behind the card, Miyuki finds three sheets, a brochure and a pamphlet. 
Each sheet contains an invitation for a job interview from three of the 
most prestigious publishing companies in Japan. The brochure belongs to 
a nearby private university. The pamphlet contains details on 
scholarship applications. At the very bottom of the pile, Miyuki finds a 
small note in Tamao's hand that reads: Be free, Miyuki-sama. Be free and 
live. It is only when the teardrops mar the note's ink that Miyuki 
realizes that she is crying. But for the first time in her life, they 
are not tears of pain.

~~~~~

Tamao sits quietly outside the greenhouse, waiting for Miyuki's 
response. She honestly does not know how the older woman will react. She 
knows that neither she nor Shizuma have given Miyuki a real solution - 
only a possible way out. It will still be up to Miyuki to apply for the 
jobs, to apply for the university, to apply for the scholarship, and 
most importantly, to refuse her arranged marriage and to risk being 
disowned by her family. Tamao knows how difficult the choice will be for 
the older woman. And that is why she waits, hardly hoping, hardly daring 
to hope. It is Miyuki's only chance. It is their only chance.

~~~~~

"Tamao-chan."

Tamao hears Miyuki's soft voice behind her. She turns around, almost 
frightened by what she will find. But what she finds, on Miyuki's face, 
is an expression of indescribable love and tenderness. Tamao sobs, a 
small strangled cry of relief, and throws herself into the older woman's 
arms. Miyuki buries her face in the younger girl's hair. She asks 
quietly:

"You did all of that...for me?"

Tamao sighs her response into Miyuki's neck.

"I had some help. But I would do it all over again if I had to."

Then Tamao draws back and looks Miyuki searchingly, and somewhat 
nervously, in the eye.

"Are you...absolutely sure, Miyuki-sama? You'll probably be 
disowned...You'll only have yourself to depend on."

Miyuki smiles gently.

"It will be the hardest thing I'll have ever done in my life. But you're 
wrong, Tamao-chan. I don't just have me. I have you."

This time, when the dawn finds them in each other's arms, there are no 
tears.

Chapter End Notes:

The poem Rainbow's End here is a reference to the Rainbow poem written 
and recited by Tamao in Episode 2 of the series. When I reviewed Rainbow 
for the purpose of having a literary reference for a new poem, it seemed 
to me that Tamao was using the idea of a "rainbow" to refer to Nagisa. 
Rainbow also seemed to contain hints of Tamao's foreknowledge that her 
crush on Nagisa would not necessarily end happily, though the poem also 
contains hints of her willingness to take that risk. ("Rainbow, you are 
an illusion...Is the ocean of tears just several paths ahead? Or is it 
at the edge of the ravaged earth? Despite that I do not lament. And 
within that cold winter light, I try to die in that freezing place...). 
I wrote Rainbow's End with the intention of sustaining Tamao's literary 
voice and symbolism. Hopefully, that attempt succeeded.

Regarding the job interview offers that Miyuki finds in the envelope, it 
was in order to obtain these that Tamao approached Shizuma for help in 
Chapter 8 of the story. Tamao needed Shizuma's family connections to 
wrangle job interview offers from three prestigious firms in a highly 
expedited fashion.  The choice of finding a career for Miyuki in the 
publishing world has been foreshadowed in the story through previous 
episodes that highlight Miyuki's editorial skills. As for the university 
and scholarship applications, Miyuki can choose to apply for either the 
September or April terms, depending on how well her preparations for the 
university exams go.

As a final note, I took liberties on the concept of "disownment" in this 
chapter, given my absolute lack of knowledge on how it actually happens 
in Japan. In the context of this story, I use the idea of disownment to 
refer to a child being no longer recognized as a member of his or her 
family, with the withdrawal of complete familial and financial support. 
Poor Miyuki does face tough times, but lest the reader forget, she 
likely possesses an extremely impressive academic record that should 
help open educational or professional doors (Episode 9 implies that she 
is a diligent student, and there is the rather obvious fact that she was 
the Student Council President).

Onwards to Part 12


Back to Blue-Haired Gray Eyes, Blue-Haired Brown Ones Index - Back to Strawberry Panic Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction