Astraea Lake (part 67 of 76)

a Strawberry Panic fanfiction by Lestaki

Back to Part 66 Untitled Document

“So, a play? Amane-san is actually taking part in a play?” Yuho leaned forwards over her chair, looking interested. “Is that true, Kenjou? You’re also involved, aren’t you?”

“It’s true. But it’s got nothing to do with me. Go talk to Amane yourself, if it interests you.”

“No matter how many times you say that, Kenjou, it’s easier to talk to you. Plus you’re fairly funny when you’re annoyed.” Yuho shifted her head sideways, smirking. “Besides, it’s rare for Amane-san to talk to anyone. That’s why her relationship with Kiyashiki is such an interesting thing.”

“She talks to Olesa as well.”

“I suppose so… well, she’s not here. You’re closer.”

Kaname groaned. “Isn’t it more like the fact that her part is old whereas Momomi’s is novel? You people have short attention spans.”

“It’s weird when you talk about it is as if you’re not involved.” Yuho flicked a finger against the table. “But still, Amane-san in a play will definitely be interesting. I thought it was just a waste of time, but if even she’s involved, it must be good.”

Kaname snorted. “That doesn’t make any sense, but whatever.”

“So what’s the play? Twelfth Night, isn’t it?”

“Oh? So you can read posters now?”

“Yes, thank you, Kenjou. Who is Amane-san playing?”

“Viola. Though I doubt that means anything to you.”

“Of course not, so tell me who Viola is, dumbass? The main character?”

“A girl who spends most of the play dressed as a guy. So obviously Amane’s really well suited for that part.” Kaname folded her arms. “And one of two twins. I’m playing the other.”

“Sounds weird. Well, I can’t wait to see her acting. She’ll probably be really amazing.”

“Save that for when you actually know anything about her acting. If you just say it because you’re a fangirl, it’s far too stupid.”

“Well, they say she was amazing at the audition,” Yuho retorted. “You were there too, weren’t you?”

“Well, yeah. She was decent.” Kaname shrugged. “That’s no reason to treat her like a God of thespianism, though. She’s not a specialist, just a talented amateur, and she’s no more than decent either.”

“Hmm. That’s not what I heard. I bet you’re just jealous.”

“Who’d be jealous of her?” Kaname demanded.

“Well, you would. Very visibly, before.”

“Whatever. That was a long time ago, and if you don’t think I’ve changed you’re stupid. I don’t see why I should be threatened by someone who doesn’t even have a social life to speak of.”

“If you say so. You’re still competitive about her, though, aren’t you? Always downplaying her achievements.”

“You mean I have a sense of perspective where you girls hype everything she does?”

“If that’s the case, you’re someone with a sense of perspective in a minority of one. That doesn’t seem so likely to me, anyway.” Yuho looked at her, eyes amused. “In any case, I was never sure why you bothered.”

“Oh?”

Yuho shrugged. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? With you and Amane-san… of course you always lost. Competing with her is a pointless exercise. She’s a genius, after all.”

“Isn’t that just the laziness of someone who can’t be bothered to compete?” Kaname asked.

“Well, you haven’t really challenged her for a while, either. Why? Because it’d be pointless, right?”

Kaname snorted. “Even if it suits you to think she’s invincible, she’s not true. She can be beaten.”

“Perhaps, but not by me and you, right? Compared to us, Amane is something completely different.” Yuho’s eyes met Kaname’s. “Don’t you agree?”

“Different? In the sense that she has no friends, yes. But that’s all.”

Yuho shrugged, raising her hands. “There’s no helping you, is there?”

Kaname snorted, turning away. “As if I want to be helped…”

“In any case, how are things with you and Kiyashiki?”

“Eh?”

“It’s an obvious question, isn’t it?” Yuho sat up. “I’m surprised you managed to get a girlfriend like her, but I suppose it’s because you are roommates. It gives you a head-start, right?”

“Whatever. Things are fine. That’s all, isn’t it?” Kaname replied, frowning. It’s strange, though. Not so long ago, Momomi was what Yuho called a strange girl. Is she cool now? People are way too fickle.

“That’s all? You’re so boring to talk to.” Yuho leaned forwards. “So, how far have you got with her? First base or second, or what?”

Kaname stared at her for a few seconds. “You’re nuts.”

“I guess I shouldn’t expect too much from you, after all… but never mind. I’ve heard you do some nice things with her, though. Kenjou the romantic. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Well, you don’t know anything about me, so you don’t even have the right to be surprised.” Kaname looked around impatiently. So where’s that blasted teacher? “We’re a normal couple, nothing exciting. What did you expect?”

“Nothing, in particular. I’m just wondering. Of course, I still have know idea why she picked you…”

“Because I stood by her while the rest of you saw her as a weird new girl to be avoided if possible. Perhaps you’d forgotten that.”

Yuho blinked. “Oh? Have I touched a nerve?”

“Somehow I don’t think you’re going to apologise.”

“Of course not. But it’s still curious. Considering Amane-san’s apparent interest, why did she pick you?”

“It’s the same reply,” Kaname retorted. “Because I was doing a thousand things for Momomi while Amane sat on her ass and thought of horses without even knowing her name. That’s why. I’ll take a lot of crap from you, but that comparison doesn’t even make sense.”

“The advantage of a roommate, I suppose, like I said before.” Yuho smiled. “But at least you have some pride when you talk about it. Hmm… I wonder, actually. Is this why you’re fixating on Amane-san again?”

“I’m not the one obsessing with her here!”

“If I had a girlfriend spending a lot of time with Amane-san, I know I’d be worried.”

“It’d be a wasted worry. She’s dead from the waist down, or possibly, you know, straight.”

“I wonder… but whatever. It’s your problem, not mine, after all.”

Kaname opened her mouth and was about to reply irritably when the teacher finally arrived. She leaned back, folding her arms tightly and closing her eyes. Annoying girl…she’s always talking about stupid things. I guess she’s a perfect representation of most people in this school, which is a pretty damning indictment of the people in this school. If it isn’t about how awesome Amane is it’s banal gossip about relationships. How pathetic can you get? I’ll give Shion credit; at least she’s professional, systematic and efficient. Making up theories for the sake of it and engaging in random speculation based on half-baked rumours is completely pointless, though. And so bloody changeable! Momomi’s just a case in point. It hasn’t taken long for Amane’s obscure magic to rub off on her. At this rate, our entire group will be promoted from a bunch of losers to the new cool kids, all because of our association with Amane. That’s just beyond ridiculous. Kaname leaned forwards as the teacher began, resting her head on her hands and pretending to pay a semblance of attention. And it would be seriously annoying, as well. If people like Yuho and her friends disturbed our mornings talking to us I doubt I could be able to stand it. The friendships where, if nothing else, we can be who we are and talk about the weird things that are exclusively ours would be totally destroyed. Instead, I suppose, we’d make polite, empty conversation. Something befitting Amane, a series of friendships without friends, with no individuality and personality. I can’t take that kind of crap.

But… but. There’s also a problem. What Momomi wants to do now and what I often what to do will also result in that kind of thing. It’s something that comes with that dubious blessing popularity. Kaname sighed, looking down at the desk. It’s hardly a new issue. Fame or the localised equivalent is nice for the most part, but it’s not all good. For someone like me, the bad presses down pretty heavily. I can’t just do what I would normally do without a thought like Serané or someone, I’m not that kind of person. And I do enjoy being peaceful and undisturbed by most people. It’s Momomi’s aspiration, though, to be popular, the good and the bad alike. She’s smart enough to know what that means. And I said it myself, that I’d support her aspirations provided she helped me with my own. I meant that. I want people to recognise me, acknowledge me, and respect me. Even if I try to pretend I don’t need anyone, that is true, and Momomi instinctively understood that. No, I think she knows that I need acknowledgement more than a lot of people in this school, and that’s why I struggle so hard to hide it. My mother never recognised me and very few people had kind things to say about me. That’s why Momomi, who says I’m important, is also important to me. And that’s why I’d like to surpass the Etoiles and become a magnificent person. But when people can see you they can judge you. Negative judgements hurt as well, and I’m as self-conscious as I am praise vain. It’s an unpleasant contradiction. But I’ve decided. I am going to go all out, for Momomi as well. I just have to hope that things turn out alright for us both.

Amane, too. Because my aspiration is to beat her, still, for so many reasons, whatever I might say to Yuho. Why? Since when? If I’m truly pressed, even I’m not sure, though I have a lot of things to say about Amane. She’s someone I waste a lot of time thinking about. Well, I’m doing the same thing now, aren’t I? That’s not even funny, damn her. But still, her bloody acting and this bloody play are both very annoying right now. I couldn’t believe it when she acted like that at the audition. It’s extremely frustrating. Kaname sighed thoughtfully. But at the same time, I’m almost glad, which is just perverse. It’s got to the point where she’s proved so hard to beat at everything that I never want her to be easy. This way is worthy of her, or somesuch. Though I’d never say that to anyone, not even Momomi. It sounds far too stupid. Well, Momomi would just smirk at me, which wouldn’t be so bad. But it’s still a painful thing to admit. Her performance, ultimately, doesn’t change anything. I only want to beat her all the more because of it. There’s plenty of time left in this play, after all. I’ve committed myself, though, to those two goals. To become popular and to beat Amane, which are both tied to this play. It’s time I get serious about them, about everything. I will definitely succeed, however I much I have to struggle. I’ll do it for Momomi, and also for myself. Kaname tapped a finger against the desk. But how far do I go? How popular is popular enough? Is it enough to beat Amane at any one thing, or do I have to be consistent? And am I fine with things as they are? However I look at it, my melancholy loneliness watching those two together hasn’t gone away. I don’t know whether I should fight that or not. I don’t know a lot of things. Momomi, for the most part, makes everything more complicated.

Friendship. Popularity. Competition. Our aspirations. The comfortable present and the desired future. Our relationship, too, our commitment and the pace we should move at. All these things differ between the two of us, and they’re all things we need to discuss. Kaname scowled, slumping forwards and resting her chin on the desk. However I look at it, some things will probably always stay the same. We’ll always have our own worries and insecurities. But, in a way, that’s reassuring. Only a love-drunk idiot thinks they’re in a “perfect” relationship. It’s better to see the problems for what they are now, and then talk about them.

The lesson dragged out for far too long, Kaname’s attention drifting and wavering between a dozen different subjects. She just wanted it to end, so she could finally go to lunch and see Momomi again. But that was also something she was wondering about, especially when the bell finally went and she was free. They met, talked, brought their lunches and retreated to the comforts of their own room. They weren’t doing anything special. It was just routine. It was strange to enjoy routine so much. But that wasn’t something she could say out loud.

Momomi, predictably, kissed her full on the lips the moment the door closed. Kaname placed a hand on her shoulder, not quite pulling her in and not quite pushing her away, either. “Honestly. You’re really impatient, aren’t you?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy that,” Momomi replied, smiling flirtatiously.

Kaname flicked her on the nose, smiling. “Don’t get too full of yourself.” She picked up a pair of books on History, then went and sat on her bed.

Momomi sat next to her, notebook balanced on her knees. “Alone at last, right?”

“We have work to do, you know.”

“You’re still far too professional. It’s annoying.” Momomi put her arm around Kaname’s shoulders, leaning forwards and staring at the history books she was holding. “So? What period are we studying?”

“The 1905 Russo-Japanese war,” Kaname replied neutrally.

“That’s not romantic at all…”

“Well, not a lot of History is romantic, when you get down to it. What do you expect?”

“I don’t know. You’re right, I suppose. History isn’t a fertile ground.” Momomi clicked her fingers. “How about the middle ages? Knights are quite romantic.”

“You mean the knights who used chastity belts on their wives then went to fight in the Crusades, often adulterating with local prostitutes while they were at it?” Kaname asked. “Not to mention the rape and pillage, of course.”

“You’re still too literal. Remember what I told you before, pretty lies are good!” Momomi smirked. “It’s not like I don’t know this stuff, right? I’m willing to suspend my disbelief, though.”

Kaname kissed her on the cheek, smirking. “Isn’t that a lot easier?”

“Romance is still important. Verbal foreplay, too. You should be less impatient.”

“Me being impatient? Yeah, like that makes sense-”

Kaname was cut off when Momomi kissed her again. “Actually, I take your point,” the brown-haired girl replied, eyes bright. “You do talk too much from time to time.”

“Say, Momomi.”

“Hmm?”

“I was talking to Yuho earlier,” Kaname remarked. “And you appear to have gone up in her estimation. Now she’s asking me why you’re with me rather than calling you a weird person unworthy of Amane.”

“Really? I’m flattered… I think.” Momomi shrugged. “She sounds like a strange girl, from what I’ve heard of her, though.”

“Well, that’s an understatement, but still, she’s a good and confident example of a certain type of person.” Kaname sighed. “A type of person we get a lot around here…”

“Everywhere, probably. We’re the strange ones, remember?”

“Well, quite. It’s annoying.”

“But when I think about it, you go on about Amane-san a lot as well. And didn’t you say something similar about how she should be an untouchable person for you?”

“Shut up. Are you any different, talking to her and about her so much?”

“A little different, is what I hope,” Momomi replied amicably. “But I’m not sure. Perhaps we’re less different from other people than we’d like to think.”

Kaname shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. In any case, this is probably good for you, isn’t it?”

“Well, I suppose so, yes. It shows that people can get used to anything, if they’re given long enough.” Momomi smirked. “And that something which is a big deal one day becomes a small one the next. That’s the problem, of course. If you want to continue to be known, you have to do that.”

“Really?” Kaname asked, frowning. “It’s not like Amane works at this stuff.”

“Amane-san is pretty exceptional, isn’t she?” Momomi teased. “That’s mostly because of who she, I suppose. The fact that she’s so very mysterious, and the way she never get involved in anything but riding her horses, which she’s very good at… if you don’t partake of activities where you might lose, you’ll gain a reputation as an unbeatable person. We said that before, right? And if you don’t involve yourself much, it makes things even more interesting when you do.”

“See? You think about her way too much.”

“Hmm?” Momomi rubbed her head against Kaname’s shoulder coyly. “Jealous?”

“A little. Hardly the point, though. I think I know what you mean. Even if it isn’t for those reasons, she doesn’t work at this. That’s why if you become popular, you’ll stay that way.”

“Amane-san’s a special case, though. Not just anyone can do that, right?” Momomi glanced at her face. “For someone like me, I’ll have to take Shion’s approach. She gets involved in a lot of things, talks to people and maintains a small core of… well, fans, I suppose. She pays attention to them, too.”

“It’s a more sincere kind of fame, don’t you think?” Kaname muttered. “A lot better than Amane.”

“Well, it’s strange for you to praise Shion. But if it’s drawing a comparison with her, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.” Momomi raised her head, nodding. “But I do take your point, as well. That’s why this play is a good thing, too. She’ll be using her talents for something, this time around.”

“That’s true enough,” Kaname admitted. “It’s damned inconvenient for me, though.”

“Well, you don’t have to make it a competition between you two if you don’t want to. Shion’s right. A play is principally something people work on together.”

“Teaming up with Amane? Are you kidding me?” Kaname smirked. “I don’t think so. Get back to me when the world’s in mortal danger. Even then, only maybe.”

“I suppose not. But still, you know you don’t have to compare yourself to her all the time. If it’s annoying for you, then stop.”

“I know I can stop. But this is my choice. I don’t back down from a challenge, after all.”

Momomi flicked her playfully on the forehead. “You’re one hell of a thick-skulled girl, aren’t you?”

“If you say so. I prefer the term tenacious, myself.” Kaname chuckled suddenly. “Actually, that’s funny, isn’t it? There aren’t many qualities in this world which can’t be inverted by using a different word.”

“Do you think so?” Momomi asked. “Well, let’s see… unfaithful?”

“Free spirited.”

“Bigoted?”

“Hmm… that depends on the context. But ‘moral’ appears to work nine times out of ten.”

“Stupid.”

“Simple-minded? Down-to-earth? Personally, though, I’d make a case for innocent.”

“Violent?”

“Strong or protective. Something like that.”

Momomi nodded, frowning. “Hmm… in denial?”

“That’s another tricky one.” Kaname scowled, tapping a finger idly. “It depends on context, I suppose.”

“Dishonest, then.”

“That depends on the context as well. There are plenty of cases where people would agree that a lie was moral.”

“That’s a bit of an evasion, Kaname…”

“I suppose so. Well, you are right, those two are harder to twist.” Kaname closed her eyes for a moment, smiling. “I think that’s quite telling, actually. People have a morbid fascination with the truth as some important thing. If you say that you possess a truth that will make their life a misery, they’ll still want to hear it nine times out of ten. People are obsessed with it. So, whether it’s to yourself or to others, altering facts is considered very dangerous.”

“That’s true, isn’t it? I think it’s an evolutionary thing. People need to know things to make the best decision for their own interests. If others manipulate the information they receive, it’s possible to control them.” Momomi back, smiling. “And every person believes deep in their hearts that they and they alone are best qualified to judge on anything.”

Kaname nodded. “Pretty stupid, really. Truth or lies, it doesn’t matter as long as you are fed, right?”

“Well, even if you say that, you’d hate it if I hid the truth from you about anything important. Regardless of whether or not it was for your own good.”

“That’s also true.” Kaname shrugged. “What can I say? I’m only human.”

“It’s something that relates to trust. That’s an important concept for people as well. I’m sure this all relates back to tribal structures, somehow.” Momomi leaned on Kaname’s shoulder again, smiling thoughtfully. “How do I know that I can trust you? You betrayed my trust! I’ll never be able to trust you again! Stuff like that is big in relationships, isn’t it? I mean, objectively monogamy is bizarre. When your association with a person passes a critical point, you can’t be at that level with anyone else… it’s a strange concept.”

“Does that mean I can cheat on you?”

“Nope. I’d kill you.” Momomi giggled. “I’m only human, after all.”

“But I know what you mean. Truth, trust and fidelity… they’re not exactly concepts animals need, but we worry so much about them. Animals only need to worry about when they get food or get laid.” Kaname frowned. “So does that mean we’re more advanced? Or does that means we’ve regressed in a strange way, having so much more to fret about?”

“I think the fact that we can afford to worry about such things proves our dominance. We don’t have tigers to spear any more, so this is the stuff we expend our energy on instead.” Momomi grinned. “But in any case, self-knowledge and truthfulness are important to people everywhere… so I’m sure we’d be hated if people knew who we really are.”

“You’re right, I suppose. It’s an interesting thought.” Kaname glanced at her. “No need to tell them, though, is there?”

“Exactly. But is that kind of lie a white one or not? If it’s the only way to avoid us being hated… that’s something to think about.”

“I think that’s a false choice. We could become honest, God-fearing reformed characters if we really wanted to, we just can’t be bothered.”

“You’re right. And in any case, the distinction between kinds of lies are dubious at best. As far as I’m concerned, I can be liberal with the truth as much as I like, unless it’s with you. Perhaps Olesa too.”

“I’m flattered.”

“With you two, I’m merely partly liberal with the truth.”

“Great.” Kaname laughed. “You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“What? You think I had changed?” Momomi smirked. “You don’t know me very well. There wasn’t anything to lie about, that’s all.”

“Well, I’m a little better about admitting my own feelings, if you ask me,” Kaname retorted. “I’ve changed, even if you haven’t.”

“So when you won’t say romantic things, that’s because you have no romantic feelings for me?” Momomi pouted, looking sad. “That’s just too cruel, Kaname.”

Kaname flushed. “I- well, that’s to say… I mean- oh, shut up.” She turned away, looking furious. “You don’t really think that, so it’s no problem.”

“Nothing’s changed.” Momomi kissed her on the cheek. “And you still blush far too easily.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kaname sighed. “In any case, what were we saying before… Amane. I’m going to carry on, so don’t worry about it. I’ll always compare myself to her. I’m expecting you to back me up, as well.”

“If you say so. But why are you so insistent about this?” Momomi smiled, touching Kaname’s cheek. “You don’t need to beat Amane to be a special person.”

“Yeah, well, if I’m to impress anyone but my girlfriend something has to change.”

“Are you saying I’m easy to please?”

“Hardly. But if I couldn’t even please you, I would be useless.” Kaname sighed, looking at the wall. “The truth is that I struggle, trying to follow people like you and her. Competition makes it easier, or something.”

“Idiot. Taking things too seriously again…” Momomi rolled over, resting her legs on Kaname’s bed. “You don’t have to force yourself for anyone.”

“I don’t have to breathe, either, but it’s generally a good idea,” Kaname retorted. “With Yuho, it was simply confirmation of something I’ve already noticed. You are moving forwards. So I’m not going to be left behind.”

Momomi slid sideways, resting her head on Kaname’s lap. “You won’t be left behind,” she replied, looking up with vivid brown eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.” Brown hair spilled about her like a tousled eagle’s halo.

“Idiot,” Kaname muttered, looking down at her. “What are you doing?”

“You’re a good pillow. Simple enough, isn’t it?”

Kaname sighed. “I feel mightily abused. But you should remember, I have my pride as well. I’d never be able to stand being second to anyone. That’s why I have to keep up with you. If I didn’t, I’m sure I’d tear this apart.” She touched Momomi’s cheek gently. “No matter how much I enjoy it.”

“I know. I’m the same. But you don’t have to worry. You’re doing fine, aren’t you?” Momomi smiled. “Look at me. I’m the one you have to keep up with, I’m the one you have to stand beside. Not Amane.”

“I know. Even if what I’m doing is the same as what I did before, it’s for a different reason now.” Kaname smiled back. “And that makes all the difference in the world.”

Momomi nodded, closing her eyes. “The same for me, I suppose. This is probably what Luigia would expect me to do, but not for the reasons she’d expect. Not for reasons she’d approve of either. I’m not becoming popular just for the sake of it, after all.” Her eyes flickered open and she gazed at Kaname again. “There are things I want to do which require being like that.”

“Reasons? That’s another strange, human concept. Objectively, only actions matter to the world, but we always look at people’s reasons. That’s what makes you human. Even if it’s something simple and stupid, everyone has a reason for what they do. For instance, the reason you’re doing this.”

Momomi nodded. “Because it’s fun and comfortable. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

“Of course.” Kaname ran her thumb over the skin beneath Momomi’s chin. “That’s true enough. But in this position, it would be relatively easy for me to kill you.”

Momomi frowned. “You have quite the way of making me feel secure, you know…”

“That’s why things like this feel good. If you lower your defences, you can be hurt, but it’s also a show of trust and a means of understanding.” Kaname touched Momomi’s ear gently. “Physically and mentally, that’s what a relationship is.”

“You know, from time to time you are surprisingly romantic. You’re all mushy at heart, aren’t you?”

“Not really… I’m just normal.”

“Hmm… oh, well.” Momomi chuckled. “Let’s leave it at that, before you take it back.”

They were silent for a while, merely enjoying each other’s company. Kaname gently explored Momomi’s face, neck, hair, quietly amazed that she’d let her do so, lying there so gently and so contentedly with her hands in her lap. It was strange. Almost ridiculous. But she wasn’t going to fight it. “Your hair… it’s very beautiful.”

“Is that a compliment from you? That’s still a very unexpected and precious thing, you know.”

Kaname pinched Momomi’s cheek playfully. “You impudent girl. Can’t I say anything without you being sarcastic?”

“Not really. It’s just what I do.” Momomi smiled back at her.

She’s hauntingly beautiful… I’m sure I could lose myself in those eyes, even if it’s a cliché. “It’s just what you do far too much,” Kaname quipped. “No wonder I never say nice things about you, though, if this is how you treat me when I take you at your word.”

“You sure are stubborn most of the time, and oversensitive when it’s convenient for you,” Momomi teased. “Aren’t your feelings very useful to have?”

If I ended up like that, it would be far too stupid. So I have to keep saying something, anything, so I don’t notice her scent and her smile and her warmth and the look in her eyes. “Of course. Almost as much as your words.”

“I try. I’m glad you’ve noticed. It’s my art, after all.”

For her, too? Does she feel something similar? Is that why she says the same empty things? It’s weird to think about. “I prefer your writing. Even if I hate the archaic wording.”

“Oh, don’t be boring. I know you love it really. It makes you feel important.”

“If you say so,” Kaname replied, giving up.

Momomi shifted her head slightly. “You know, I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier. Isn’t it more true of positive qualities?”

“Is it? I wonder…” Kaname shrugged. “I guess we’ll see. Happiness?”

“Ditziness?”

“A little, I guess. But nor really.”

“That’s more of an emotion, to be fair. Emotions don’t come with the same connotations as positive or negative things.”

“Fine. Optimism.”

“Naivety.”

“Creative.”

“Impractical.”

“Imaginative.”

“Easily distracted.”

“Smart.”

“Hmm… it’s hard to argue with that one.” Momomi giggled. “I suppose that’s one of the very important things.”

“Handsome or beautiful, then?”

“As qualities unto themselves, they’re always good too, I guess. You can say stuff like pretty-boy, though.”

“Rich?”

“Impractical, again. Everything you’d say about me.”

Kaname smiled. “Well, quite. That doesn’t make it good to be poor, though.”

“Well, I suppose the experiment doesn’t work so well after all. However you look at it, there are some things that people regard as good, all the time.” Momomi looked thoughtfully at Kaname. “Is that annoying or encouraging about people in general?”

“I don’t know. I’m not finished yet.” Kaname looked down, smirking. “Big breasts.”

“Always a positive, within reason.”

“Some people would disagree with you.”

“Some people have no taste, is all I can say.” Momomi pouted. “But that’s no reason to say nasty things to make a growing girl insecure! You should let her flower into a beautiful woman in her own time!”

“Yes, yes. Well, there’s no rush,” Kaname teased. “Take as long as you like, it’s fine. It isn’t important.”

Momomi frowned. “When you say that, though, it doesn’t exactly make me happy. I think I’m being mocked somehow.”

“Really?” Kaname brushed the hair away from Momomi’s forehead. “One more, then. An emotion.”

“Shoot.”

“Love.”

“That’s easy, isn’t it? Lust.”

“That’s true… well, how about things associated with that?” Kaname glanced at her. “Trust, for example.”

“Naivety, again.”

“Interdependence.”

“Over-reliance.”

“Love at first sight.”

“Well, apart from the ever-present other l-word, changeable and fickle affections.”

“A budding crush, then.”

“I think the term crush is pejorative all on its own.”

Kaname smirked at that. “Protective.”

“Over-protective…”

“Giving the other space and freedom.”

“Not being close enough to each other.”

“Then always staying by the other person.”

“Being far too clingy.”

“Commitment.”

“Limitations.”

“A long-lasting love.”

“A stale, passionless love.”

“A young, passionate love.”

“A brief, vainglorious love.”

They giggled. Kaname shook her head, amused at the word-game. “Okay, you’re good at this one.”

“I’m seeing a pattern. You can’t really be too smart or too beautiful, but in terms of this, it’s more complicated, isn’t it?” Momomi replied wryly. “You can have too much or too little of almost anything.”

“Damned if you, damned if you don’t.” Kaname chuckled again. “It’s all so nonsensical. How about true love, then?”

“Hmm… no, that’s something everyone agrees on, isn’t it? But then again, how do you tell what true love is?”

“Who knows?”

“It’s a bit pointless without being able to tell, isn’t it?”

“So at the end of the day, the only designation everyone agrees on is basically arbitrary and semantic,” Kaname observed, shrugging theatrically. “What a dreary world we live in.”

“One more thing, though. About true love?” Momomi giggled. “Could true love have something to do with sitting around for an age when we should be doing revision?”

Kaname scowled. “Damnit! That’s not true love! That’s you being a deceptive pain in the arse! Get off, we have work to do!”

“Hey, I only just remembered myself,” Momomi complained, sitting up. “So don’t get all righteous. It’s not like you didn’t forget yourself, madam cold and cool.”

“Well, you were distracting me,” Kaname muttered. “But whatever. We should just do everything we can now.”

“Do we have to? We haven’t eaten yet!”

“You should eat while you write,” Kaname replied.

Momomi sighed. “Next time, I won’t tell you, and see how long it takes for you to realise.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Oh, I dare. I also know you love it really.”

“Shut up!”

“Hmm… looks like you admit it too.”

Kaname tried to find the right page in the History book, sighing herself. The downside of having a girlfriend. It’s bad for your revision schedule. But at least it gives me something to think about besides Amane and her damned good acting…

“Honestly, though. You’re still so dishonest. What’s the rush, when you were so serene a few moments ago?”

“We’re going to do some work this lunchtime,” Kaname replied. “Even if it kills me.”

Momomi pouted. “Still so proud and stubborn. You’re as bad as Amane-san…”

“I take it back! You really do distract me and annoy me all the time!”

“Oh? So I distract you when I’m around you?” Momomi teased. “That’s good to know. I guess it’s good I’m not in the same class as you.”

“If you could stop flirting with me for two seconds-”

“Not on your life.”

“Do you want to pass this exam or not?”

“I’ll just plead mitigating circumstances with the Etoiles. They understand this kind of thing, after all.”

“I’m sure girl’s love will cut a lot of ice with the Superior!”

“Who knows? Perhaps she’s a closet romantic…”

“That old bat?”

“It’s not as strange as you being romantic, but that appears to have come true.”

“Now that’s just an insult.”

“That’s just the way it is…”

Kaname put on an annoyed face, becoming aware that she was putting it on. Actually, I’m enjoying this. That’s far too weird. But then again, we’ve always sniped at each other like this, and I’ve always enjoyed it. Is that anything so innocent as liking or loving? Knowing us, it’s something a lot darker. Serenity is enjoyable, but it’s like this that I come alive. What would you call it? Kaname shook her head to clear her thoughts, feeling the weight of Momomi leaning on her again. Not love, not hate, not anger, not lust. I don’t really have a name for it. But I do know the colour. It’s not the delicate pink-red of a loving heart. This is a dark red emotion, the shade of blood. Kaname closed her eyes for a moment, snorting slightly. And is blood is life itself.

Onwards to Part 68


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