She looks a little melancholy. Kaname sighed and leaned forwards slightly, picking up another mouthful of rice. Well, I guess that’s to be expected, after that little encounter. Somehow I knew that would happen, but it still didn’t end very well, for all that. It’s…annoying. I should have been able to do more than I did. I’m not sure how, not exactly, but I should have done more. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told her to go over… no, it wasn’t something she could run away from, I think. It was important to her sister, at least. She deserved to know what was going on, and whose fault it was- as if she couldn’t guess anyway. But was that really my decision to make? I mean, what do I know about family affairs? It felt like the right thing to do at the time, but- I don’t know. I didn’t really think things through, just as usual, and it ended up like this. Well, it could have been worse. He could have hit me. Actually, that may even have been better. If he’d hit me, she’d be able to hate him a lot more. Hate’s a lot easier to deal with than the struggle to understand someone. I should know, because it’s a lesson Momomi taught me. After that, too, I suppose I was cold. But it’s not like I was unaffected either. Momomi is the perfect one, or at least she should be. Even though this is one of the ways I was first able to relate to her, she deserves better than this. Why can’t she have a perfect family? Sure, she has Luigia. But she also has him. If even the super-elite suffer like this, it’s a pretty damning indictment of humanity in general. Or is it a good thing, because rich and poor alike are all human?
“You’re looking thoughtful,” Momomi teased.
“Ah.” Kaname shrugged. “Well, I was thinking about something.”
“Anything in particular?”
“Not really.”
“Liar,” Momomi said, without rancour. She grabbed a piece of pork with her chopsticks and ate it swiftly. “But you know… I still don’t get him.” Momomi sighed. “Who the hell is my father? I find it harder to hate him now simply because I couldn’t even begin to tell you who he is.”
Read my mind, is it? “Hating people is easier,” Kaname remarked. “I’d do that if I was you.”
“I know that, but it’s also something that’s hard to force.” Momomi sighed again, picking at her food. “I hate the man I know as my father, but I get this sense I don’t know all of him now. And I’m not sure whether I hate that man or pity him… and I’m not even sure whether he was real. Perhaps I had a bad dream.”
“Well, you’re here. It pains me to admit it, but that’s because of him, not us, in the end.” Kaname snorted. “That is something I hate. I wish I wasn’t so powerless.”
“I told you before,” Momomi said, smiling weakly. “Well, sort of. But I’ll say it again now. You don’t have to force yourself to protect me. It’s enough that I’m with you, because you mean a lot to me.”
“A purpose?” Kaname replied. “Isn’t that what you said?”
Momomi nodded. “That, and other things too. But you’re right. He did let me stay here, even if he dresses it up as banishment. Is it banishment? I’m sure he’d disown me if it wasn’t for the fact that he then wouldn’t be able to sell me later…”
“There’s no point in caring either way, is there? You got what you wanted, right?”
“Yeah.” Momomi nodded. “In that respect, I’m fine. But I still can’t stop myself from thinking about it. Was it benevolence? Cruelty? Indifference? Calculation? Intentions mean almost as much as actions…”
“What’s done is done, isn’t it? A result is a result, no matter your attentions.”
“From the perspective of judging a situation, that’s right,” Momomi agreed. “But judging people is more complicated.”
“That’s probably impossible to deal with real accuracy,” Kaname warned. “I wouldn’t even try, if I were you.”
“I think… we have to try, precisely because not many people, and because it’s difficult.”
Kaname smiled. “Philosophy over lunch, is it?”
Momomi pouted. “Well, the morning is already off-limits. We have to talk like this at some point, right?”
“I suppose so.”
“But even then… it’s hard. He’s my father.” Momomi grimaced. “I’ve hated him for all my life, but it looks like I’ve always been uncomfortable about doing so, because the moment I have the chance not to I’m on a complete guilt trip about it.”
“He’s the one who should be guilty. Hopefully, he is guilty, but I’m not sure he’s the kind of person who can be redeemed. Either way, he’s a horrible person.” Kaname shrugged. “Even if you ask me too, I’m not going to apologise for that. He treats you all like crap.”
“I know. I know that. And it would be a betrayal of Luigia, Yukaho and Araldo if I forgave him on some level. And of myself. He deserves to be hated and I need to hate him. More than that, I know I do hate him.” Momomi picked up another piece of pork and ate it, chewing and swallowing before she spoke again. “But doesn’t everyone want to have parents they can love? It’s more wish fantasy… for me and you, anyway.”
“I know the feeling.” Kaname sipped her coke. “I don’t think there are many people who actually want to hate their parents. Well, stupid teenagers on a rebellion. But for people like us- well, if we hate our parents, they’re still our parents, and we have to live with them. Because children are powerless.”
“And if we hate them they’ve probably done something to deserve it,” Momomi agreed. “But that’s just pragmatism. More than that, for me… I’d like to be able to be proud of where I’m from. But I can’t. I hate that as well.”
“That makes two of us, again.” Kaname laughed shortly. “Quite a pair, aren’t we?”
Momomi nodded again, smiling slightly. “We really are. But when other people can talk about home, that’s not really something I can say so easily… or you, I guess. It’s hard to remember where you’re going when you’re busy trying to forget where you came from.”
“Because I’m such an optimistic girl, I prefer to view things in a more positive light,” Kaname reflected. “As we have no lingering past, we’re free to invent out future without any inhibitions.”
“Isn’t that a little scary, though? Especially for thirteen year-olds.”
“I started two years ago. You started now.” Kaname closed her eyes. “Well, immature or not, you almost getting yourself kidnapped was almost the same thing. It can be done. I’ve always believed in myself in that respect, and I know you’re the same.”
“I’m not sure I could do it alone,” Momomi said quietly.
“Well, you’ll always have people to support you,” Kaname said, waving her free hand dismissively. “I’m sure of that. You’re the kind of person who can win people over, when you really try.”
Momomi half-nodded, sighing again. “If you say so, I suppose.”
“So what’s the whole situation with the Etoiles, anyway?” Kaname asked, hoping to redirect the conversation. “I don’t really understand that at all.”
Momomi made a face at her tuna and ate some rice instead. “Damn Japanese good manners… but, for that, I’m not sure myself. Father’s not pushing for now, but he’s not dropping matters either. He may be hoping to press things later, or he’s given up on the whole thing without bothering to tell Serané’s parents.”
“That’s be good for the Etoiles, right?”
“Exactly. That’s why I’m almost sure that can’t be it.” Momomi looked depressed again. “He’s not the kind of person who’d be that subtle or… well, nice. So maybe he really does hope that Serané will come round given enough time.”
“It doesn’t settle matters, though, does it?” Kaname said. “Either way.”
Momomi nodded. “It doesn’t settle matters. And until Serané puts her foot down with her parents, it won’t be settled.”
“I wish she’d just do that and be done with it. I don’t exactly like Kariya, but she deserves better than this.”
“I’m not even sure she could,” Momomi replied. “It’s as you said, children are pretty powerless in this world. Perhaps she’s hoping to stall until she’s of age and with relative freedom.”
“Sounds like a good excuse for inactivity,” Kaname snorted.
“Well, we’re no different, right?” Momomi shrugged. “I mean, I told my parents everything, pretty clearly. Yukaho appears to have selectively blocked her memory and Rodrigo’s decided the… problem will go away if he ignores it.”
“Well… you’re certain, aren’t you? You’ve always been certain about it, and to his face.”
“Of course I’m certain.” Momomi rolled her eyes. “It’s a fundamental thing, isn’t it? You dream about girls, or you dream about girls… I mean, boys. Freudian slip.”
Kaname chuckled. “I see. Well, it’s not always that simple, I guess.”
“How so?”
“The people who don’t dream, or dream of both, or mostly boys but with one girl, or something like that.” Kaname blushed slightly. “Well, I’m no good with this stuff, but you know what I mean. A lot of people are far more confused than you or I, and that’s a human thing.”
“I suppose so, if you’re being serious.” Momomi scowled. “But that kind of thing is why I hate the attitude my parents have. I’m only able to be so comfortable with myself because I go to school at Astraea. If I was still with my parents, I’d probably be in denial and seriously screwed up in the head.”
“Welcome to a modern age. But that leaves us with one heck of a generation gap.”
“I wish it was simply a generation gap,” Momomi said. “People like my sister and Araldo think the same things, and plenty of people are worse.”
“I suppose so.” Kaname frowned. “I’d probably be the same myself, if I’d gone to the kind of school I was supposed to go to.”
“The worst thing is that I can’t just say it’s bad people. I mean, for every person like my father, there’s someone like my sister. That’s what upsets me the most.”
“Well, your sister supports you, doesn’t she? In a strange sort of way…” Kaname shrugged. “You know what I mean.”
“I know what you mean.”
Momomi on gay rights issues…almost as cheery as Momomi on her father. I guess I’ll try and think of something else to talk about. Kaname frowned, considering her options.
“Open wide.”
“What?” Kaname focused again to find a piece of tuna not very far from her mouth. “What are you doing now?”
“I won the bet, so it’s my command.” Momomi smiled sweetly. “Let me feed you. That’s an order.”
Kaname sighed theatrically. “This can’t be hygienic.”
“Oh, come on,” Momomi teased, cocking her head. “It’s no more dangerous than kissing someone, and no one says that’s unhygienic.”
“When you put it like that-”
“It’s a metaphor. A metaphor! You won’t catch the cooties or whatever like this, so hurry up. My arm’s getting sore.”
Kaname rolled her eyes and leaned forwards, grabbing the tuna and sliding back to chew. “You know, I don’t know why you enjoy this game so much,” she said, as Momomi held up another piece. “It’s not like we haven’t done it before.”
“Kaname is just too cute when I’m feeding her,” Momomi replied. “Like an overgrown child. It’s a lot of fun to watch.”
“Oh, great. What next? You gonna put me in a zoo?”
“I don’t think so. I’m not into kinky stuff.”
We’re getting strange looks. Oh, well. It’s not like I care that much. Kaname accepted another piece. “One day I’ll understand all this stuff you’re mumbling about. That’ll be a dark day for me.”
“Oh, reaching puberty isn’t all that bad…”
“I’ve reached puberty, damnit! Shouldn’t you know that?”
Momomi fluttered her eyelashes. “Should I?”
“Not like that,” Kaname managed, gritting her teeth. “You know what I mean.”
“Refresh my memory.”
“At lunchtime? Forget it…”
“Alright.” Momomi just smiled. “You’re way too easy to tease, Kaname. It’s another of your points that makes you cute, and, somehow, innocent.”
“Innocent.” Kaname rolled her eyes. “That’s definitely the last word I’d use to describe myself…” I should be arguing more than this, shouldn’t I? I should definitely be arguing more than this. I should be angry. But when she’s smiling like that and speaking like that, I find it hard to be angry. She’s the cute one, and it’s bloody annoying sometimes.
“Actually, you do have an innocent streak. It’s damn well hidden, but you can be naïve at times, Kaname.” Momomi offered her another piece.
Kaname leaned forwards again, sighing and feeling slightly stupid. “I’m not naïve! Now that makes even less sense…”
“It was intended as a compliment, I think it’s another of your good features.” Momomi smiled at her. “Even you don’t have to rush into being an adult, Kaname. You can grow up at your own pace, because we’ll be at Astraea for years anyway.”
“I can look after myself,” Kaname protested. “I’ve already proved that. I’m more mature than you!”
“Quite possibly,” Momomi agreed. “But like I said, it’s not a bad thing. There’s one thing I’m old fashioned on, and that’s the fact that children should be allowed to be children.”
“So what? No sex before marriage and a whole load of enforced misconceptions about childhood innocence?” Kaname growled. “I thought we both agreed that something like that was a sham.”
“Of course. What I mean about children being children is that they should be allowed to choose their own pace. They don’t have to grow up, but if they want to, they can. And either way, they’re going to make mistakes. Don’t you think?”
“Speak for yourself,” Kaname replied. “Have you made mistakes?”
“Of course. Quite a few. But I try harder, and that’s enough, isn’t it?”
“Well, I can’t say I’m a person who has too many regrets,” Kaname said. “It’s pointless living that way.”
“Not even about our row?”
“Well, fine. I have a few. But not many, that’s what I said.”
Momomi giggled. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’ll keep on making them for the indeterminate future. Let’s both just try our best, okay?”
“You cheered up revoltingly fast,” Kaname observed.
Momomi nodded, feeding her the last piece of tuna. “Your company does that to me.”
“What, I make you act like you’re stoned?”
“This is why Shion’s too much. You’re always cutting to everyone, with such a callous carelessness.”
Kaname smiled. “Are you sure it’s not just you and Shion who get treated like that?”
“How very cruel.” Momomi sighed theatrically. “Well, at least you don’t beat me up or pretend I don’t exist. That’ll have to do.”
“You’re making yourself sound as innocent as ever,” Kaname observed. “I like to think you’re innocent, and I generally manage right up until you start insinuating this and that.”
“Well, everyone has their flaws,” Momomi observed, eating a pickle philosophically. “Even Serané, a picture-portrait of innocence in all its fluttering, wide-eyed glory, can be very calculating when she has to be.”
“Her? She acts innocent, but I really doubt that. I mean… sexually innocent? Like hell. Emotionally? She’s all too shrewd. Mentally? She’s all too sharp.” Kaname shrugged. “It’s just her act, alongside Kariya. I’ve got used to that.”
“You make her sound so cold.”
“Well, that’s the way it is. You’re not the type to be fooled.”
“I guess not.” Momomi ate another pickle. “It would be nice to be fooled, wouldn’t it?”
“Perhaps. But I’ve never been able to believe in that stuff.” Kaname made to pick up a mushroom from her salad, but Momomi gave her a pointed look. “What?”
“Now you feed me.”
“Do I have to?”
“Embarrassed?”
“More like I quite like my salad,” Kaname said. “Can’t you have my pickles instead? I don’t like those.”
“Alright. Half of each.”
Kaname rolled her eyes. “Why do always make things so complicated?”
“Because things are more fun that way.” Momomi stuck her tongue out. “Don’t give me that look. I know you enjoy it really.”
“Yeah, right…” Kaname said. But she picked up one of her tsukemono and fed it to her friend anyway. There was umeboshi there amongst other things, so it almost worked out in her favour anyway.
And it’s not like I mind. It’s a little…fun, though I’d be loath to admit that. I just wish I knew why. Kaname frowned slightly, selecting umeboshi next. Well, it’s not like I’m stupid or anything. I know this sort of thing could be construed as flirtatious. In fact, I also know that the people in this restaurant right now are construing it as exactly that. But it’s not like I care; it’s just a game we play. Screwing around with manners and supposed proprietary, based on my one faux pas all that time ago. Somehow I get a sense that we would have done this anyway, though. It’s something that suits Momomi I suppose, the supposed older sister looking after me who actually quite likes to be a spoilt child herself. She’s bipolar like that. Kaname moved the fruit close to Momomi’s lips, then pulled it back slightly, watching in amusement as Momomi gave her an annoyed look. I suppose she’s right. It’s okay to be a child, or an adult, or anything we want. And it’s okay to act like this, because we’re friends. Then there’s… earlier. She keeps holding my hand. And I keep letting her. I was forced to the admission, it’s even a little enjoyable, though again I’d suffer from a thousand years of pain before I said as much out loud. I wonder why? I suppose that’s something between friends again, it’s not like I know much about friendship. Sure, couples hold hands, but couples hug each other as well, and girls hug each other all time. Even straight girls. Allegedly, anyway, all the teenage girls I knew before were more likely to stab me, and the new bunch appears more likely to molest me. But it’s not like we’re kissing or anything, so it’s fine.
“I never knew feeding me required so much concentration,” Momomi teased. “I suppose it shows your devotion to me.”
Kaname glanced at her warily. And I suppose I could do with less comments like that. “You’ve become a right little Amiki, haven’t you?”
“The teasing? Oh, that’s nothing to do with her. Unlike her, I’m usually serious.”
“Nice to know,” Kaname replied dryly, for the lack of a better reply.
“Well, if you don’t like it, then tell me. I’d stop.”
“Well…” Kaname considered this, momentarily disarmed. “I guess it’s not that I hate it or anything… it just takes me by surprise from to time…”
“I thought as much.” Momomi grinned. “Well, that works the other way as well. I intend to do and say as much as I can before you explicitly tell me to stop. So beware. Silence is a form of consent!”
“Does that mean even more teasing?” Kaname shook her head. “I shouldn’t have encouraged you.”
“You hardly encouraged me…”
Kaname snorted. “That’s the closest I ever get to enthusiasm, and you know it.”
“I suppose so, but even so, your oh-so-cool attitude can get annoying. Sometimes it’s nice to admit you enjoy something, isn’t it?” Momomi pouted. “Your way’s pretty dishonest.”
“It’s not a matter of dishonesty. I just don’t like to overstate things. Besides, you’re the same.”
“Well, I wouldn’t change in me or you,” Momomi said. “I’m sure it’s part of our charm.”
“You’re very playful today,” Kaname remarked.
“Well, that’s to be expected, isn’t it?” Momomi smiled. “This is my special celebration of the fact that I can stay with you, so I should be enjoying it.”
Playful? Flirty is closer to the mark…Kaname tried to push that thought to the back of her mind.
They finished lunch eventually, Momomi paying again and tipping more generously this time. It appeared that she’d cheered up, though it was a shame that went hand in hand with what Kaname considered to be a considerable waste of money. A lot more shopping followed, buying everything Momomi had promised and then some. After that, a rather laden Kaname followed a rather less encumbered Momomi into the bookstore. She’d had to carry most of the bags, of course.
“How are you planning to explain all this to the sisters when we get back?” Kaname demanded. “It can’t be Catholic to have this many possessions.”
“Don’t you remember?” Momomi quipped, looking around for the romance section. “The odds a rich man has on getting into heaven are identical to those of a camel trying to walk through the head of a pin, or something like that. So obviously it’s Christian to convert all my dangerous, sinful money into possessions. I’m saving my immortal soul, so they can’t disapprove, right?”
“I like your logic,” Kaname replied. “I just get this sense that they won’t be so keen on it. Perhaps that’s just me.”
“Well, we’ll think of something. Even if we just go running and crying to the Etoiles for their backup. They were the ones who suggested this trip, anyway.”
“I don’t remember them suggesting we should buy up half the town’s clothes stores.”
“Then we’ll just have to split them up, and say to Serané that Kariya suggested it, and say to Kariya that Serané suggested it. Hopefully that’ll hold up for long enough.”
“Well, as long as you have a plan,” Kaname remarked, sounding amused. They finally reached the section Momomi was looking for, so she dropped the bags with relief.
“We make a lot of plans. Not many of them come to anything, truthfully, but at least it keeps us busy.”
“I know the feeling,” Kaname agreed. “I suppose it made us feel better, or something.”
“How’s kendo?”
“So-so. I’m still waiting, with some dread, for my first proper meet including Kariya. She’s going to rip me to shreds, and there’s not much I can do about it.”
“Well, that’s just her way,” Momomi said. “I’m sure you’ll pick it up fast enough, you have a knack for these things.”
“Definitely. How about you? Done any of the script yet?”
“Not exactly. I’ve had other things to worry about.” Momomi shrugged. “Hopefully Olesa’s made a start, otherwise we’ll just have to rush it at the last minute.”
Kaname snorted. “And I thought you said we should have a good work ethic from now on.”
“I’m working up to it, you know. First I’ll get the work done on time and then I can concentrate on getting it done on time any time before the night before.”
Kaname rolled her eyes, something she knew she was doing more and more often. “That’s a good excuse. I’ll bear that in mind for the future… sorry, your honour, but I’m gradually cutting down on my violence, so I aimed not to kill him.”
Momomi looked over her shoulder and smiled at her friend. “That metaphor doesn’t quite follow, you know.”
Sounds fine to me.”
“If you’d done something that stupid to throw away your life, I wouldn’t let you live to see a jury.”
“So because I’d wasted my life you’d kill me?” Kaname said. “Your logic’s as interesting as ever…”
“Well, mostly it’d be to gratify my own feelings,” Momomi said lightly.
“Okay, now I’m scared. Remind me never to commit violent crime in your presence.”
“Without my permission.”
“Without your permission?”
“Well, sometimes I’ll need you to protect me, right?”
Kaname prodded her friend on the shoulder. “I don’t count that. I’ll do that with or without your permission, as I please.”
“Ever the Prince Charming.”
“Ha. I’m more violent and dangerous than that poof ever was.”
Momomi browsed the shelves, occasionally pulling a book off the shelves and reading the blurb. Motivated by boredom, Kaname looked round herself, checking one book with a particularly odious cover and grimacing. “Seen anything good?”
“A couple. You have to pick carefully, because a lot of them are rubbish.”
“I can see that. Well, I suppose that goes for any genre.”
“Exactly. I go by three rules myself. No pink. No ditz leads. No vampires.”
Kaname raised her eyebrows. “No vampires? Is that usually a problem?”
“Not often, but still… just don’t get me started on the vampires.”
Kaname tried not to laugh. “No vampires. Got it.”
“What kind of books do you like? Do you want to get anything?”
Kaname stiffened. “I’m not going to accept more gifts from you-”
“I won the bet. My new order is find three books you want, as they have a three-for-two offer on most things.” Momomi turned and gave her an affectionate look. “Consider it rent for the things I’ve put you through so far, okay?”
“Well, it hasn’t been too bad, so it’s not like you owe me anything,” Kaname began.
“Oh, don’t be too stiff. Besides, I’m not finished yet. I’m sure you’ll hate me by the end of the day.”
“If that was going to happen, it would have happened already,” Kaname remarked, going to look at the horror section.
Momomi followed her with amusement. “Looks like we have some pretty significant differences as well.”
“Sometimes there’s romance. It’s just that people tend to die, that’s all.”
“About as true to life as my books, too. You know, I must know boring people, but no-one I know has ever been stalked by a crazed killer with an axe.”
“Yes, yes. I take your point. I suppose we’ll just have to keep a truce on the subject of our reading tastes.”
“A truce right now?” Momomi said. “I owe you about ten minutes worth of cynicism!”
“You bear grudges, don’t you?”
“That was earlier today, you know. Of course I remember.”
Kaname sighed. “Perhaps I should be the one to bribe you…”
“Bribe me by taking your orders quietly.”
Kaname looked through the shelves, trying to narrow down her potential choices to three. That was the hard part, once she’d got past her pride.
“But aren’t you a bit young to be reading that kind of book?” Momomi asked.
“I don’t think so.” Kaname shrugged. “It’s not like I’m afraid of the dark or anything.”
“You’re just fearless. I always get uneasy reading that kind of thing.”
“Well, you always call me reckless. Isn’t that the same?” Kaname shrugged. “In any case, I read a load of these books when I first got to Astraea, and then got bored of them. Reading’s a useful hobby in that it lets you exclude and avoid socializing with a veneer of legitimacy.”
“You make it sound like such a terrible thing,” Momomi noted, walking across to her with books in hand. “But you do have a point. I suppose I used them to pull off the same trick when I was at home.”
“They make you feel like you choose to be alone, rather than merely being alone.” Kaname shrugged. “People like us would use that kind of thing.”
“We’re hardly the only ones.”
“Well, of course. Shion’s another example. Olesa and Amiki, too, though they appear to be inseparable themselves. Devices to make loneliness less arduous… half the time, they’re called hobbies.”
Momomi giggled. “Whatever happened to the social dimension of that kind of thing?”
“Some hobbies do. A lot more pretend they do. But don’t consider that a criticism of them, I don’t believe in the necessity of socialization myself.” Kaname shrugged. “There aren’t many people in this world worth knowing. Even if I don’t know anyone, I can still live in a moderately satisfactory way. In some ways, it’s more convenient.”
“I know what you mean. Well, I act the same way. But it sounds pretty cold when you say it like that.”
“Well, it is pretty cold. But I’m a fairly cold person.”
“I don’t know… you never seemed that way to me.” Momomi browsed the shelves, but Kaname had a feeling that was just a pretext to avoid eye contact. “You always pushed me away, as hard as you could, of course. But somehow, it felt you were dragging me in just as much.”
“Certainly, if driving you away was my only aim, I would have done a better job of it, with hindsight.” Kaname shrugged. “I’m not completely asocial, and you’re someone who’s interesting. Someone not unlike me.”
“One of the few people in this world worth knowing?”
“If you insist, yes. But aren’t I the same thing to you?”
Momomi giggled. “Somewhat. Not that I planned it or anything. On the contrary, I’d intended not to make any friends at all… I really messed up, basically.”
“Well, I’m glad you did. Even if I say it’s easy to live alone… it does get kinda boring after a while.”
“And pointless.”
“And pointless, I suppose.”
“But I was meaning to ask you…”
“Hmm?”
Momomi looked at her briefly. “What do you make of relationships at our age?”
Kaname flicked through the pages of a horror novel. Probably as a pretext to avoid eye contact…”You mean, romantic relationships?”
Momomi turned away again. “Yeah.”
“I don’t see why not. It’ll probably end horribly, things like that tend to at our age… but who cares about that? It’s better to start screwing up early, so you can get better, isn’t it?”
Momomi made a face. “I can tell that it’s not something you’ve considered relevant to you by the way you can say that so casually.”
“Well, yeah. But like I said before, what are the odds of it ever being an issue for me?”
“You’re not immune to Astraea’s considerations, you know,” Momomi pointed out. “Quite the opposite, surely someone like you will attract interest.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m interested. Most of that school could disappear overnight without me losing any sleep.”
“That’s a very Kaname answer…”
“Why do you ask, anyway? Worried about whether you should go for your mysterious cute girl?”
“Well, I guess so.”
Kaname snorted. “And you won’t tell me who she is? You’re killing me slowly here.”
“I’ll get around to eventually.”
Kaname opened her mouth, then closed it again. Am I the one? That’s a simple and important question…but I can’t ask it. If I’m wrong, I’d look stupid and arrogant. If I’m right, well… I don’t actually know what I’d say if I was right. So I shouldn’t just throw out stupid guesses. Might as easily be Amiki or Shion or anyone. Though somehow neither of those would work. “Well, is it annoying you?”
“Somewhat. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
“Then I’d just stuff it and go for it. At the very least, that’ll be a learning experience.”
“You say that very easily, again,” Momomi noted. “But it’s not an easy thing to even attempt… and I don’t want to contemplate the possibility of rejection.”
“Well, I’m not the best person to talk to this about,” Kaname said. “Wouldn’t Serané or someone be better?”
“You’re the person I trust the most.”
Kaname scratched her head. “Well, look at it this way. I don’t know anything about this stuff, so my advice won’t be any good. If you just want it as reassurance to back up a decision that’s already made, there’s no point. You should work out what that decision is and act on it. Even if you ask me, it’s not my business. You have to decide this yourself.”
“You’re right,” Momomi said. “I have to take responsibility for myself, as well. So I need to think like that…”
“Exactly,” Kaname said, relieved. “If you can’t even tell me who it is, then it’s better off that way.”
“How about you? If it was your decision to make in my decision?”
Kaname scratched her cheek. “Well, I’ve said it before and you always say I’m too casual… but I’d charge ahead. Not out of particular courage. That’s just how I deal with things, I’m not a subtle person. And I hate it when I angst.”
Momomi smiled. “You would, wouldn’t you… that’s very much like you, again.”
Kaname held up three books. “This, this and this.”
“Then let’s go,” Momomi said. “It looks like we’ll both have a lot to read, if nothing else.”
“Well, that is what happens when you go to a bookstore…” Kaname followed her towards the counter. “Well, is that everything for today?”
Momomi cocked her head, considering. “Well, I’d like to go to the cinema.”
Kaname checked her watch. “It’s too late. We need to get back to school with all this stuff, and then it will be curfew.”
Momomi gave her an innocent look. “So?”
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