“Nervous?”
“Not really,” Momomi said, sighing and shrugging off her jacket. She folded it neatly and put it over her chair by the desk. She pulled her necktie free and placed it on the table, smoothing it out, then looked over at Kaname. “Lazy as ever.” She glared at her friend’s fallen blazer. “Pick that up and pass it here.”
Kaname scowled and did as she was instructed. “You’re very casual, considering.”
“I’m very casual precisely because they’re coming tomorrow,” Momomi said shortly. “I won’t gain anything by panicking, after all. I’m damned if I’ll do him that much of a favour.”
“You have a strange attitude.” Kaname leaned back on her bed, folding her arms behind her head and propping herself up. “Where were you, anyway?”
“Finishing that damned book in the library. Now I’ve got satirical literature dripping out of my ears, but at least it’s done.”
“You could have read that here,” Kaname accused.
“Well, you would have distracted me,” Momomi replied, shrugging and sitting on her own bed. “Besides, when I first got back here you weren’t there. Still busy mastering kendo?”
“I’m improving fast. Soon enough, I’ll have a handle on the whole striking technique thing, and then I can really take off.”
“Such a violent sport,” Momomi sighed. “It suits you very well.”
“I still don’t consider it very practical training, as it requires a sword to work. It’s a sport in the purest sense, in that respect, and the violence is fairly mild.”
“I suppose so… but I’m still surprised at your enthusiasm, especially because it’s not practical training.”
“I just don’t like Amiki winning all the time, so I’ll keep fighting until I’ve beaten her. Besides, I promised you, didn’t I? I might as well go all out.”
“I wish I could have that kind of attitude.” Momomi rolled back, holding her hands on her stomach. “But I’m far too lazy for it. Perhaps because I’m not really in competition with Olesa.”
“That’s pretty ironic, considering it’s your parents, but I suppose it’s fine. They’re not going to take that much interest, after all.”
Momomi closed her eyes. “Have you taken a shower yet?”
“Not yet.”
“You should do so. I bet you smell of kendo.”
Kaname rolled her eyes. “I love the conviction in your voice. How can I smell of kendo, anyway?”
“I’m not sure, but it’s probably not pleasant. And wash your hair as well, while you’re there. As my best friend, I need you looking pristine to make a good impression.”
“Alright, alright. As demanding as ever.” Kaname stood, unbuttoning her shirt as she walked to the bathroom.
“I just want to make sure you stay clean and healthy, considering we’ve proved too many times that you can’t do it yourself.” Momomi smiled, undoing her own top buttons to give her more room to breathe. “After all, if you caught some kind of disease it’d endanger me as well, considering I’m your roommate. It’s just sensible of me.”
“So much for your kind concern,” Kaname said, her voice muffled as she spoke through the wall. “A little sweat never did anyone any harm. It’s a natural thing.”
“So’s living in the mud, but we don’t do that either.” Momomi pushed herself off her bed, kicking off her shoes and sitting on Kaname’s, which was closer to the bathroom. She put her back to the wall and closed her eyes, smiling. “Enjoy the fruits of civilisation, already. One of them is being clean.”
“That kind of thing is just an inconvenience, an exaggeration of conditions. I’m pretty sure that by sheltering ourselves like this we’re only made more vulnerable in the long term.”
“Perhaps, but look at it this way; because of cleanliness, we get to experience a long-term.”
“But you know,” Kaname said, raising her voice to speak through the wall and over the now-steady sound of falling water, “I do sometimes wonder whether I was born in the wrong period. However you look at it, I’m a violent person in a world that’s moved away from that. It’s not like I can’t do what I want in my home, where I ostensibly belong, but I won’t get any recognition for that, because society doesn’t respect brute strength as much any more. That’s one of the reasons why I came here, so I can work on something that will be recognised. But I’m not sure how well that’s working.”
“Well, even if brute force was so loved back then, women certainly. If you were yourself, I doubt you’d be able to stand it. Keeping house in a feudal castle and waiting for your lord to come home, or more likely toiling in the fields like a peasant. Well, as a peasant.”
“I suppose so, but there were still some women. Joan of Arc and people. She embarrassed a lot of French generals, really, and the English too.”
“She also got burned on the stake as a witch,” Momomi pointed out. “Those were times when females had to be exceptional to be noticed. And even then, they were endangered.”
“I suppose so,” Kaname admitted. “But, in a way, that’s nice. I’m in a similar position, really, but it’s not because I’m a woman. It’s where I was born. Opportunities are still far from equal; everything’s just shifted now. At least women were 50 of the population.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Momomi admitted. “You’ve had a hard time of it, from what I can tell. But you still made it, so the system at least works a little. But I guess that’s because you really are exceptional.”
“Precisely. Immodest but accurate.”
“You shouldn’t sell yourself short, though. I think with your intelligence you’re still better suited to the modern world. It’s a more valuable trait than merely being strong and fast.”
“Well, of course, it’s not like I lack the ability. But I’m not so convinced that I have the personality. A lot of that stuff bores me to tears.”
“You’ll get better,” Momomi assured her. “I believe in you, after all, and it’s not just because you’re good at hurting people.”
“I’m not sure how much your belief is worth in the real world.” But Momomi fancied that her friend sounded gratified, all the same.
Momomi yawned and stretched, lying down and placing her head on Kaname’s pillow. She fancied it smelled a little of her friend, which was to say, mostly of sweat. But it was comfortable beyond that. I wonder what would she do if she came back to find me asleep in her bed? Sleep in my bed? Try to move me without waking? Yell at me until I woke up? I don’t know what she’d do but finding out is getting more and more attractive as a proposition. It’d be funny, at least. But she’d probably kill me when she worked it out. Out loud she deftly voiced quite different questions. “So, what’s your dream, anyway?”
“My dream?”
“Your dream, you know, your ultimate ambition. It doesn’t have to be realistic, just what you want from life. I don’t think I’ve ever asked you.”
Kaname was silent for a few moments filled with the spray and drip of water. “Well, it’s not something I’ve ever thought much about. But-”
“But?”
“I suppose it would be something like, to be filthy rich, respected and feared by a bunch of people, and to have my kids going to private school. If I have kids, which I sincerely doubt. I can’t imagine a man I’d stand and they’d get in the way of my important career. But if I did have kids, I’d send them to private school.”
Momomi’s lips quirked into a smile. Somehow, I’m not too surprised. “Isn’t that a bit hypocritical of you?”
“Nope. I just hate you children of privilege. If I can pull myself up that far, it just shows you all up, and then I can propagate the next generation.” Kaname paused for a moment, probably shrugging. “I don’t mind inequality if it works in my favour, basically. That said, there does need to be more equality of opportunity. A meritocracy, in short.”
“You say that because you’re long on intelligence and short on patience,” Momomi said, amused. “What about all the stupid people?”
“They can do stupid jobs. My way makes more sense than what we have now, it’s fairer, and it has more efficiency in it as well.”
“It’s more efficient, but not exactly fair. Isn’t intelligence as arbitrary a gift of birth as social standing?”
“Perhaps, but it’s a more important one. What can I say, I’m a social climber at heart. If only to see the look on your parents faces when I’m their equals.”
Momomi laughed again. There’s something about her naked, unashamed ambition and double standards, which is vaguely endearing. “And what’s your career going to be? Your road to the top?”
“I’m not sure on that. Something professional and important. Perhaps a doctor.”
“From someone who can’t even shower properly without my prompts?” Momomi asked. “That doesn’t suit you at all. Maybe… a lawyer.”
“A lawyer? I hate lawyers, you know.”
“Well, you hate everyone in the upper classes, but you still want to join them. I think you’d make a good lawyer, prosecuting people with relentless zeal and the occasional deceptive moment. The defence would quiver in fear whenever you walked into a courtroom.”
“Hmm. I suppose I could get used to that.”
“I can see it now. You leave here, then university, then your law training, and then you spend ten years as a high-flying lawyers and five as a judge before quitting to enter the world of politics. Elected to the diet, Prime Minister before you’re 50. Well, I guess I can dream.”
“That’s certainly your dream, not mine. Let me make up my own fantasy future, already!”
“Sorry, Kaname, but I couldn’t resist.” Momomi giggled. “You running the country, now there’s a terrible thought.”
“Ha. I could do things a lot better than the common crop of incompetents. How about you, though?”
Momomi closed her eyes, considering. “Well, sometimes I think I’d like to be a writer. Probably of romances, that’s what I read, after all, and when you’ve read a few you start to realise the formula they all use. It’s pretty simple, really.”
“Ha. A wishy-washy kind of dream, as I’d expected.”
“But my main dream is to be a lawyer, which is why I suggested it for you. Studying law at university together could be fun, don’t you think?”
“More like scary. We’ll be spending four more years together as it is.”
“Poor me, Kaname’s already tired of my company,” Momomi moaned. “That hurts my feelings. But I’ve always been interested in a life like that. To work on something tough but interesting, earning not inconsiderable amounts of money, and living here in Japan for good, without any reliance on my father. That’s my dream. I don’t need to be rich, just comfortable; though rich could be a good way to further slap my father’s face. But I don’t to be dependent on the Phareli name any more.”
“Do you hate your family that much?”
Momomi blinked, surprised at Kaname’s tone. “Well, I only really hate my father… though I can’t say I like my mother. But I don’t want to be controlled by them, and I have a suspicion that by the end they won’t be able to accept me anyway. It’s not like I want to cut all my ties with them, unless it proves necessary, but I do want to be independent.”
“And you wouldn’t move back to Italy?”
“It hasn’t been very long, but by the time I’m through with this school I’m fairly sure I’ll want to stay. It’s several thousand miles from my father, for a start, and I could get used to all you Japanese people and your funny ways.”
“That’s a big decision to make.” Kaname sighed. “I’ve said this before, but you should be careful not to give up your family out of pride. You’re not like me; you have a proper family and a sister you love. Don’t be careless with something that precious.”
“I know, but we’re still fairly broken. Thanks for worrying, though.” Momomi closed her eyes. “But ultimately, this is just talk about silly dreams, right? You have four years to change my mind, if you’re that worried.” Momomi frowned once she’d finished speaking. The sound of water had stopped.
“I’m not that worried. It was just a thought.”
Momomi stretched idly and rolled off the bed, walking to the dresser and picking up her wide-tooth comb. “Here,” she said, opening the door with one hand and holding it up with the other. “You should-”
Kaname looked up with surprise, in the middle of drying her legs. “You and your fussing,” she said, holding up one hand and taking the comb. “I get it, already.”
Momomi compulsively glanced downwards and blushed red, turning away hastily. “Sorry!” She retreated behind the door. “I thought you were drying yourself in the shower!”
“Eh? Why would I do that?”
“Well, I told you,” Momomi said in a low voice, sounding annoyed. “It keeps our floor dry.” She rested her head against the wall, closing her eyes.
“It’s a bathroom floor. It’s meant to get wet. You really do fuss far too much. Besides, what’s to apologise for? It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.”
“I know that,” Momomi replied, irritated. “But-”
“But what?”
“It’s a little weird, don’t you think?”
“Oh?” Kaname stuck her head through the door and glanced amusedly at Momomi, her towel mercifully wrapped round her body this time. “You’re not starting to think like Amiki, are you?” she teased. “That would be too strange.”
“Of course not,” Momomi said, turning to glower back but keeping her head slightly raised. “What’s it to you?”
“I just find it odd, that’s all,” Kaname said, eyes glittering with amusement. “You’re blushing, Momomi.”
“Shut up, and get back in there!” Momomi pushed her friend by the face, shoving her back into the bathroom. “You’ll get water on the carpet!”
“Yes, yes,” Kaname said. “Well, it’s not like I blame you. Hanging around the Etoiles who act as they do, you start to think carefully to avoid misunderstandings, right?”
“I… I guess so,” Momomi said. “That makes sense, actually. In a weird school like this-”
“But I thought you said you didn’t care about the opinions of most people. I suppose I’m a special case. I’m flattered.”
Momomi scowled. “Stop teasing me, already! It’s annoying!”
“Well, it’s usually you teasing me. This makes a nice change, that’s all. And I can’t say I’m not enjoying it.”
Momomi closed her eyes again, trying to still her racing pulse. Damnit! What the hell was that? That was definitely not normal! She took deep breaths, trying to blank her mind and regain her composure. I’ve already let Kaname rip into me some, so I need to stay on the ball, damnit. No more showing weakness like that.
“I’m out,” Kaname said a few minutes later. She was dressed in her trousers and an untucked shirt, her hands thrust casually into her pockets. Her hair was still dripping wet.
“You haven’t dried yourself properly again,” Momomi said. “You’re going to wet that shirt.”
“It’ll be fine. I’m wearing a fresh one tomorrow anyway. On your orders, of course.”
“That’s no excuse for being sloppy, though.” Momomi marched past her friend and slammed the door, breathing out.
“Man, bitchy or what…” Footsteps echoed through the door, ending with a slight whumph as Kaname propelled herself onto her bed. “What did I do to deserve this?”
“Nothing! I’m not being bitchy, either!” Momomi bit her lip, frustrated with how flustered she was. God, I’m overreacting. I can only hope that she’s too selectively dumb to put two and two together. People are her weak point, luckily. She unbuttoned her shirt and found a dry corner of the bathroom, stripping rapidly and stepping into the shower. Once again, the warm water washed refreshingly over her. It took a few seconds before she registered that Kaname had said something. “Sorry?”
“I was just asking whether you were alright,” Kaname said irritably. “Don’t press the point too much. But if I’ve upset you or something, I want you to tell me. Though it’d be a bit ridiculous if you were upset, having put me through all that stuff you do to me.”
Momomi smiled weakly. That’s so very Kaname, as a way of expressing concern. She took a breath, then smiled weakly. “I’m fine, thanks. Don’t worry about it.”
“Whatever. I guess it’s the nerves after all, even if you won’t admit it.”
“Quite possibly.” Is that true? I can’t see the correlation…
Momomi resisted the temptation to lean against the wall again. That would be too much like weakness, even if no one can see me. I would know, after all. But she closed her eyes and slapped herself in frustration. Keep it together, Momomi. That wasn’t the normal way to look at your best friend naked. That was weird. I felt shocked and embarrassed and slightly guilty and slightly confused, and I reacted like that. She’s right. It’s not like you’ve not seen her naked before, just like she said. You see girls naked in the changing rooms every time you go swimming, and that’s fine too. That doesn’t make it embarrassing. She bowed her head, feeling an uncomfortable mix of emotions. Well, it’s not like I don’t know who I am. I’ve looked at other girls in a… sexual way before, but just to watch, in the pool or wherever else, when I see someone pretty or shapely. I’m not in denial about that, even if I don’t like to talk about it. That’s just the way it is. Perhaps it’s this school screwing up my head in some way. More likely, I’m like that, and I’m fine with it. Water washed down her shoulders, dragging out her hair and sticking it to her skin. Like it or hate it, I can accept that in an environment like this, I’d be stupid not to. Even if some people, starting with my father, would hate it, there are people who would support me. But… but that’s completely different from thinking strange things about your best friend! Momomi slammed one of her palms into the wall, biting her lip in frustration. I’ve always known that. Even if I like to admire girls, I’ve never done that with Kaname. Well, I know she’s handsome, but I don’t…feel it. I’ve never thought about her that way.
That’s what she told herself, anyway. There were some uncomfortably nagging doubts rising in the back of her head. Well, you just did for a start, but that’s not something that just happens. This is the first time you’ve seen her naked in a while, when you think about it, even if it has happened before. And how about that time? Her important thing she had to say to you, remember that? You spent half the morning fretting yourself into a frenzy about the prospect of her imminent love confession! And of course, she was actually thinking about something else, something completely different and perfectly innocent. You’re the dirty-minded one, after all. She sighed heavily. That assumption made so much sense that the time, but it’s getting harder to take it seriously with the benefit of hindsight. Was it reasonable? Did I make a fair assumption, or was… was I just being wishful? She closed her eyes. God, that makes me sound so stupid. I don’t know, though, and it’s not like I can ask anyone without giving the game away. The Etoiles? God no. Shion? Yeah, take relationship advice from the year three loner. And not just that, but when I think about it, I was nervous, horribly nervous, but I was probably excited as well. Did I actually welcome the idea of her confessing to me? Of course not! At least, I don’t think so, but it’s so hard to tell…I’m normally definite, but this time my feelings are so hard to grasp, it’s impossible to say what’s running through my head from moment to moment.
“Hey, you sure you’re not mad or anything?”
“Of course,” Momomi said, straightening. “I’m just taking a shower. Why would I be mad?”
“Who knows. Considering I talked to bored you so nicely when I was in the shower, I’d expected as much of you. But maybe you like taking without giving.”
“Well, it’s not like you’ve suggested anything to talk about,” Momomi replied, pouting to herself. It feels good, to be annoyed with her. Especially right now.
“Nor have you, you know, so you’re no better.”
“Well, forgive me, I was concentrating on showering. Unlike you, I make hygiene a priority, so it’s hardly surprising that I take it more seriously than you do.”
“Ha. And after you make so much of how you’re going to sort out my own habits, you then put me through a distraction you weren’t permit in yourself. That’s pretty hypocritical, which in itself is normal for you.”
“If you didn’t want to talk to me, all you had to do was say so, you know.”
“Well, unlike you, I have some manners.”
“Yeah, right. Manners is also something I definitely have to teach you, and it isn’t something you’ve learned yet, either.” A leaden soul and words made of ash. It’s amazing how a simple little thing can ruin my evening.
“Tch. Say what you like. I’m not the bitchy one here and now.”
“Humph.”
“But if there is something, I want you to tell me.” Kaname’s voice was more serious now. “That’s how you screwed me over anyway, not talking, so you shouldn’t repeat it.”
“There’s nothing. But thanks, again. It means a lot to me… even if you’re still too insecure to say things straight.” Momomi tried to smile but couldn’t quite, so she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, imagining Kaname in the exact same position on the other side, separated by a few inches of plaster. Amazing how we can be so close, but so far from touching. That has to symbolise something, I just wish I knew what.
Speaking of touching, that’s another good one, isn’t it? I thought myself, at that time, that I’d lead her on, intentionally or unintentionally. It’d definitely be worse if the only person I was leading on was myself.
“Ha. Say what you want, mysterious one. What’s the agenda for tomorrow?”
All the times where I hold her, by the arm or whatever else, playing with her food and making her retaliate, teasing her with romantic words, I always knew that felt good. I thought that was just the pleasure of teasing her and making her awkward, but- Momomi remembered herself. “Ahh… well, I have the morning off to greet my parents. So I’ll start with that. You go to lessons like a good girl until break, then we’ll meet and I’ll introduce you along with the others.”
“Can’t I just skip and meet them straight away? Forget what the Etoiles say. This is a lot more important to me than a bunch of random lessons.”
Momomi flushed slightly. But like that, I never fooled myself with that. When she says those things are important to her, when she says she wants to protect me, it’s the same feeling. “I’ll think about it in the morning, and judge the situation. That’s best.” When I hold her arm, it feels good, it feels safe.
“Yes, general. We’re meeting headquarters tomorrow, after all.”
Momomi remembered that old joke and smiled weakly. I enjoy that, and I suppose I always have wished… wondered… whether she’d wrap her arms around me and protect me. Like I did to her long ago, when everything began. “Of course, so be on your best behaviour. Don’t randomly assault people, like I said before.” I wish that she’d do that when I’m just me, to shield me, and show… and show what?
“You told me already. There’s no need for you to repeat yourself.”
“Talking to you, it bears repeating.” Her friendship? Her loyalty? Her strength? Her love? I thought I knew what I wanted from her, but I sometimes wonder whether I’m not misjudging myself. “And remember, my father’s stubborn. Don’t argue with him.”
“I have plenty of experience with that type of person. I talk to you every day, after all.”
I want to feel safe and comfortable in her arms, like I’m not alone, like a little child, knowing it’s okay to be like that, to show that weakness. But I don’t know that so I can’t do that and these things build up inside me. “Well, considering I talk to you, we should both be set on that front. But what he could do to me is rather worse than me stealing your egg.”
Perhaps I should just go with that, but I don’t know how she’d respond. And if I’m too diffident to even do that, then anything more won’t ever happen. That’s right. My own feelings don’t matter if I’ll never act on them anyway. So instead of getting mixed up in hope and worry, I should just accept things for the way they are. Kaname’s my friend. Whether I’m romantically interested in her or not, just keeping things that way will have to be enough. Yeah, that makes sense-
“Oi! Are you listening?”
Momomi blinked. “Sorry. I missed that last bit.”
“You, girl, spacing out like that… it’s horribly inattentive. I suppose you have good reasons to worry, though. You’re all talk, but the prospect does unnerve you.”
“I guess you’re right.” Momomi forced a laugh. “It is a little worrying, when I have to beg for mercy from the man I hate, who doesn’t like me much either and also happens to be my father…” What’s she looking like, right now? She’s speaking with that cynicism and mild accusation, again, but are her eyes closed, delivering a statement, or is she looking at me the way she does, eyes alive, head tilted slightly as she’s sprawled over her bed.
“Now that’s a fairly ironic situation. Well, I suppose it’s about par for someone like you, who doesn’t have anything but weird relationships.”
A lighter tone this time, but still…I’ve never been this frustrated by a wall since the last time Amiki was pushing me against one. At the same time, I don’t want to face her. “Something like that,” Momomi said weakly. She remembered her place, and added “not that you can talk, with your screwed up background and relationships.”
“Ha. Well, there’s not a lot to be said for normal relationships anyway.” This time her voice was in fully-fledged cynicism mode, the voice she used when she passed a sweeping judgement on some aspect of humanity. “With most people, they’re just excessive vulnerabilities, something of convenience. When someone like you or I forge a bond, you know it’s important and valuable, because we don’t do that easily.”
“That’s… true.” What does she mean by that? No, don’t read too much into things. That’s what happened before.
Momomi gritted her teeth. Well, I know a chance when I see one. “Say, Kaname…”
“Yeah?”
Momomi considered her words for a moment. “If you were a parent, and you’d discovered that your child was gay… what would you make of that? How would you react to it?”
“Hey, hey, you don’t mean your father by this parent, do you?”
“Of- of course not,” Momomi said, blushing furiously. “It’s just a hypothetical question. In a school like this, it makes sense to ask, too.” I’m such a coward.
“You’re right there. Well, I wouldn’t shout at her or disown her or anything dramatic and stupid. It’s nothing to do with me. Just as long as they keep it out of my sight.”
“Out of your sight?” Here comes the sinking feeling…
“Well, it’s a bit weird, isn’t it? Not something you’d show off.” Kaname’s voice was surprisingly careful and controlled. “I’m hardly religious, you know that, and I’m not a homophobe. That would be impossible in this school. But it’s not something I’d like to watch or anything. The Etoiles are a little creepy at times, and they keep things fairly chaste. As for the rest… I don’t know, sometimes it’s weird, sometimes it’s just funny, you know?”
“You’re right. I think I understand.” Momomi closed her eyes, feeling a strange sense of disappointment settle in her chest. I shouldn’t be too surprised. Kaname’s always been like this. It must be troublesome, to be the normal girl in a school full of freaks.
“How about you? How would you react? The same way?”
There. At least go this far, or forever remain a spineless weakling. “I’d… I wouldn’t mind,” Momomi replied. “Love is love, I think, even if that sounds cliché, and it’s the same biological process working in different ways… it’s not something to be ashamed of. So I’d let my child do anything she should feel natural about doing in front of me, even if it was kissing another girl.”
“Hmm? So you don’t find that odd? Jeez, you shouldn’t make me feel like a minority here.”
Momomi closed her eyes and bit her lip in frustration. Don’t make it out as if you’re the weird one! It’s the complete opposite! “Well, I… guess it just doesn’t bother me,” she sighed. Actually, it does bother me sometimes, but not in the way that you think…
Momomi shut off the water and reached out, picking up the towel that had been thrown casually onto the floor and starting to dry herself off. Then she remembered who had last used it, and somehow she imagined that Kaname’s scent lingered on it, and her mind’s eye remembered her lithe body, water still dripping down her surprisingly beautiful skin- Momomi dropped the towel and slapped herself on both cheeks, closing her eyes. What’s happening to me? It’s like I wake up one morning and see everything differently. I feel… dirtied. She reached for another towel then stopped herself. That would be the ultimate admission that something had changed. She picked up Kaname’s towel again instead, rubbing the slightly damp surface across her body as fast as she could. Her skin protested at the rough treatment but she ignored that, throwing the towel down again and stepping out of the shower. She pulled on her clothes, doing her shirt up to the very top, then checked herself in the mirror, eyes narrowed and searching for any lingering trace of a blush. Finding none she turned away and walked back into their room. “I’m out.”
“Welcome back.” Kaname smiled. “But shouldn’t you brush your hair?”
Splayed out like that, with her casual dress and her casual attitude, it’s too easy to watch. I wish I knew how to fill a space so completely and yet so comfortably. Momomi smiled back. “You’re right, I’d forgotten.” She turned away again, pulling a sodden lock of brown hair out of her eyes. Somehow her long hair felt choking now. Damn it. Damnit! If this is what they call an epithany, you can keep it. When your view of the world seems to change that fast, it just leaves you lost in a landscape you don’t recognise. Only an idiot would enjoy that, and I’m no idiot…but I do feel lost. Which just leaves me even more screwed, when I think about it. To be an idiot, or to be without these thoughts, they sound pleasant now.
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