Days of bitter cold "Who's that?" The apprentice looked curiously at the boy who entered the hospital. He wore a great bunch of flowers in his right and a CD player in his left hand. Determined he headed towards the door and greeted the nurses shortly. "The boyfriend of Kaioh Michiru. He comes every day to visit her and stays for a lot of hours." Answered the nurse and watched the boy entering the room. "Kaioh Michiru? The famous violin player? The daughter of Kaioh Gendo? The famous piano player who died two months ago because of a car accident?" asked the apprentice with her eyes wide open. "Hai. It's a wonder that she survived it. We all thought she would never awake from her coma and even the doctor gave up. But she fought and survived." "But the visiting hours aren't yet. They start in the afternoon." Wondered the apprentice and plucked at the white overall. She wasn't used to it yet. "This boy's kind of a medicine. The doctor said she's recovering just because she sees him so often. He gives her the hope and the strength she needs to accept her destiny." Explained the nurse and sighed. "Let's go on working. You shall learn a lot and not talking to me like old pensioner!" She clapped in her hands and they both disappeared in the corridor. "Hi, Michi-chan." Haruka entered the room and put the CD player on the table in the middle. Two weeks after the accident the young violinist was allowed to leave the intensive care unit and even her doctor was surprised how fast she recovered. She had no brain damage and the rest of her body regained strength very quickly. Her broken bones healed and now two moths after the accident Michiru didn't want to stay in hospital any longer. There would be other meetings and a lot of therapies but Michiru was slowly sick of the hospital. The tense of disinfectant and ill people. "Ruka!" The wheelchair turned around and Michiru rolled over to her. She was wearing her light blue tracksuit. Different magazines laid on her lap and her blue eyes shone. "I wanna go to this high school!" declared the young violinist loudly then she smiled at the flowers. "White roses. Are they for me?" she asked and her smile grew even wider. She reached her hand and touched the soft petals. "I love how they smell." She whispered and took a deep breathe. "You really want to go back to school, don't you?" asked Haruka while she put the flowers in a vase and sat down on the bed next to the wheelchair. Michiru learned quickly to handle it. The nurse said that she had a talent for it. She practised hard because she didn't want to stay in bed forever as she told Haruka one day. "Don't make such a face! You aren't so good that you can miss a whole school year. After all it is in Tokyo and there we would have our own apartment. All pupils have their own rooms or apartments there and I've got enough money to pay the rent. It's a very good school and I won't see anything that remembers me of my parents." Haruka looked for some seconds sadly at the suddenly pale girl next to her. Michiru hardly spoke about the death of her parents but Haruka knew that it hurt a lot. The young violinist simply didn't want to move into one of the houses or the flats her parents inherited her. She wanted to live in another region for some years until she had enough power to accept and to understand the sudden death of her family. Of the persons who meant everything in her life. Who loved her with all their hearts. Haruka leaned forward and touched gently the left hand of the musician and smiled understanding. "The school takes talented young people and teaches them up to the last Level. We don't have to change school till we finish it. That's great." "Talented people?" Haruka frowned and looked into the papers down in Michiru's lap. "Hai, I am known as a violin player and you're Junior Champion of Japan as a motorbike racer. They simply couldn't refuse us." "Couldn't?" asked Haruka alarmed and raised one eyebrow as she saw the innocent look of the deep blue eyes she got to know too well during the last two months. Whatever Michiru wanted she achieved it. She left the hospital for some hours at weeks before she would have been normally allowed. She convinced the doctor that spaghettis and tomato sauce was better for her than pudding. She got a single room after she argued too much with the old woman who shared her room after she came from the intensive care unit. "Well, Ruka. Here are our affirmations. The doctor said I'd leave hospital next week and I don't want to return in my parent's beach house before I am ready." She hold up two letters and grinned a guilty grin. But her eyes shone. Haruka just couldn't argue with her. Michiru found her goal after the accident and the young racer was pleased about it. She was relieved that Michiru invested so much powers in her future after she got to know the truth about the damage of her body. First Haruka had feared that the young violinist would give up herself and moan to death. But she didn't. She didn't give up. She's the strongest person I know. Haruka raised her hand and stroke some strands of the sea green hair on the small back of her best friend. Her only friend. "You aren't angry? You see, you'll love this school, too." She took some papers in Haruka's hands and rolled over to the table were some others laid. "Mugen Gakkuen? A strange name for a high school." "But a very exclusive one." Michiru pushed some buttons on the CD player and soft violin music filled the air. It was the first concert the young violinist had ever given. Her parents had recorded it and Haruka took the CD out of the sea house she was staying at the moment. She wasn't allowed to stay the whole day and the whole night at hospital even if she wanted to. Michiru took a deep breathe and rolled back to the bed and took Haruka's hand in her suddenly icy ones. "And the apartment is made for handicapped people." Haruka looked up from the papers and looked into the pale face of the girl who was sitting in the wheelchair. Who would never be able to leave it again. The doctor declared her that her backbone was damaged too much and that she wasn't able to move her legs anymore. Michiru still felt them, felt the pain when the broken bones were healing. But she didn't have the power anymore to move them or even to stand on them. Her whole life she would be dependent on the wheel chair. Haruka squeezed gently the hand in her own ones and smiled loving at the pale girl. Michiru was very silent after she got to know about the truth and didn't want to see anyone during the next days. Not even Haruka. Then she asked after a wheelchair and since that day she learned very hard to handle it as if it was her legs now. She didn't give up and fought hard. That she planned her high school future showed how much she hung on life. Hope her enthusiasm is not only for her a chance to ignore her handicap. But each time Haruka tried to talk to her about that topic Michiru simply changed it and so the young racer decided to give her another time to think it over. To accept it. And maybe to understand it. "So you're going to leave this terrible house at last?" asked Haruka and the smile that evolved on Michiru's face warmed her heart. "Hai, next week. When the doctor won't let me go, I'll leave this scary building by myself. And no one can hinder me!" Michiru made such a determined face that Haruka smiled automatically back. "Sure you will." Haruka leaned forward and embraced the young violinist in the wheelchair. She laid her head on the small shoulder and looked down on the papers in Michiru's lap. "So tell me something more about Mugen Gakkuen ." *** The wind blew sharply and tears were burning in her eyes. She wore a thick jacket and thick trousers. A scarf protected her neck and gloves her hands. Determined she pushed her wheelchair down the drive of the hospital. She didn't want any help. She was able to reach every goal by herself. It was such a wonderful weather when I left our house. Michiru raised her head on looked at the blank trees. They looked like ghosts. Grey and naked. The trees disappeared some weeks ago and now nature was waiting for snow. The sky was covered with grey clouds and hardly the sun ever found a way through them. The whole city around looks so pale, so dirty. So dead... Michiru swallowed and fought successfully against the tears in her blue eyes. Her back hurt as she pushed the wheelchair towards the parking space. Of course it had a automatic service but she didn't want to loose the small powers that were left in her arms after the accident. If she used the automatic service she would give in that she was helpless and she didn't want to be helpless. Or weak! Her strong Haruka carried her bags. She walked silently beside her. First she wanted to help her but one look in Michiru's determined face told her that she better took the bags and kept silent. "What...?" Michiru stopped the wheelchair and looked surprised at the large dark blue car Haruka headed towards. It had a five doors and was big enough for a big family. Or a wheelchair... Michiru oppressed a sob and lowered her head as Haruka helped her out of the wheelchair and into the seat. She embraced her and hold her tight. For some moments they stayed so. Haruka pulled her gently against her warm body. "I sold my Suzuki." She declared after a while and looked with a strange expression Michiru had never seen on her face down at the smaller girl. "The race two months ago was my last one. I don't want to go on the track again. It was my father's dream, not my own one." Haruka smiled confident. She didn't tell Michiru that she decided for this car because it was big enough for the wheelchair. And she didn't tell her that it was ideal for being modified in some years when the young violinist was old enough to get her own driver's licence. Michiru just nodded and watched Haruka how she put the wheelchair in the boot and took seat behind the steering wheel. "You're only fifteen. How can you drive a car by your own?" she asked after they started The houses rushed by and Michiru hardly recognized the city she grew up. It all looked so different. So strange. "Hey, I am Japan's Junior Champion. I got my driver's licence when I was ten years. I got it for the bike and for the car because my father wanted me to be a formula one racer after I'd reach World's Championship with the Suzuki." Declared Haruka and observed the mirrors. The young violinist watched her for another while in silence. Then she raised her hand and stroke over the scar that was visible on the girl's right cheek. Slowly it got paler and maybe it would disappear. But the mental scars wouldn't disappear that fast. Maybe they'd stay forever... "Does it still hurt?" she asked and looked into surprised green eyes. They hardly spoke about Haruka's father and how he treated his daughter to become a cool, independent motorbike racer. How he forced her to cross her limits, to break the records and to be the best motorbike racer of Japan. But Michiru suspected a lot and it hurt her to know that Haruka was beaten by her father more than once. "It's okay." The young racer took the stroking hand in her right one while the left one still hold the steering wheel. Encouraged she smiled at the smaller girl and wondered how she could be so concerned about her when she had her own nightmares to face. It's okay. As long as you're with me. She wanted to say it aloud but since that night when she almost lost her Michi-chan, Haruka didn't find the right words or simply the courage to say them aloud. But often Michiru seemed to understand her without many words. The young violinist smiled back and squeezed the hand gently. "I know." She whispered. Then she looked out of the window. They left the city and drove along the beach. The Mugen Gakkuen laid a little bit outside Tokyo near the sea. Michiru looked out to the wide ocean and the waves reflected in the tears that suddenly burned in her deep blue eyes. I loved it to walk along the sand. To swim in the fresh water... She turned away and switched on the radio. Then she closed her eyes and listened to the classic music. She spent her summers in a light house by the sea with her parents. When her father needed the peace and silence there to compose his music and when her mother had holidays. It were the best summers of her life. There she could be wild and loud she wasn't allowed in their house in the city. She wasn't allowed at school or at stage. Those summers are over. Forever. Again the warm hand squeezed her own one. In such a summer I met my Ruka for the first time. She raced along the beach with her Suzuki and almost crossed over me. She was so sorry about it and invited me to an ice cream in the city. I went with her and we had a great day. For the next weeks she visited me every day and it were the best weeks of my whole life. Michiru squeezed the hand back and took a deep breathe. Until Haruka's father got to know it... "We're... there." Heard Michiru her best friend's voice. She knew what Haruka first wanted to say: We're home. But both of them didn't have a real home anymore. Michiru opened her eyes and looked at the girl sitting next to her. All we have is each other. She looked out of the window as Haruka took the wheelchair out of the boot. They stood on a huge parking space near the huge towers of Mugen Gakkuen. It was the largest construction Michiru had ever seen before. It was surrounded by a wall of trees and the sea rushed in their near. There were great meadows between the towers and other trees. Banks and sport places. And Michiru was sure that there was more she couldn't see yet. More inside and outside the huge buildings. This is my future. She decided to go to this exclusive school. Together with her Ruka. They never discussed about it. It was clear that Haruka would follow her Michiru everywhere. Just once she asked why it was possible for Michiru to rent an apartment and Michiru just explained that she had a good lawyer. And enough money. She didn't get a guardian because her lawyer was good enough to prevent it. She needn't one. Ruka's my guardian angel. Carefully Haruka took Michiru in her strong arms and helped her into the wheelchair. In some months she would be strong enough to get in and out of the car by herself but at the moment she needed help for this action. "I'll take the bags later. First let's find someone who shows us our apartment." Declared Haruka and Michiru just nodded. Silently the young racer walked slowly beside Michiru who pushed her wheelchair with all her desperate powers. "Welcome to Mugen Gakkuen!" A woman stood at the entrance and smiled at them. She wore a dark suit and her red hair fell open on her back. "I am Kaori. I am here to show you your rooms and to welcome you. Dr. Tomoe wanted to welcome you but unfortunately his daughter had an attack and so I overtook his task." She declared and shook their hands. "I am Kaioh Michiru." Said Michiru and tried to bow in her wheelchair but it didn't feel right. She bit on her lips but hold back a swear. "I am Tenô Haruka." Haruka bowed as well and touched gently the right shoulder of the smaller girl. "We're pleased to have you as our pupils on our school. You will like it. Only renowned children of known parents are allowed to visit our school. But please come with me." She bowed and went out into one of the huge towers. It was even and Michiru couldn't see any steps. Huge elevator brought the persons at the different storeys. This tower had over thirty. "This is the living-tower as I call it. The school is in those towers over there." Kaori showed through the huge windows while they entered the elevator. It was outside the building and consisted of glass. When they got up the ocean appeared in front of them. The could oversee the area of Mugen Gakkuen and the beach behind. And the endless sea. The sun shone shortly though the thick clouds and the water started to shimmer. Automatically Haruka took away her sunglasses and watched the ocean quietly. She turned her head and saw the tears shinning in Michiru's eyes and knew that she had the same thought as she. This is were we first met. Were we dreamed a great dream of a great future. "I've heard a lot of your music, Miss Kaioh." Declared Kaori as they finally left the elevator and walked along the corridor. The walls consisted of glass, too and they could still see to the ocean. The other walls were made of normal stone. Behind them the apartments were hidden. "I like it. You have an expensive Stradivarius, don't you?" "Hai." Replied Michiru politely but she didn't want to think of the small case that laid on the backseat of the car as well. Haruka brought it with her from the light house by the sea together with the notes. But Michiru wasn't sure if she would ever be able to touch the instrument again. The corridor was even as well and as they reached the door to their future apartment Michiru could see that there was no threshold as there were in the hospital. She had real problems to get over them with her wheelchair. Tiny steps that didn't interest her at all when she was able to walk. She didn't even mention them. Kaori followed her look and smiled an understanding adult smile. "Ten percent of all pupils are handicapped in the one or the other way, Miss Kaioh. Dr. Tomoe built these towers with the look of handicapped, high intelligent people who don't get the chance to study at a normal school. One of the reasons for him being so understanding is that his daughter survived a bad accident some years ago and she isn't really recovered now. She can use her legs but often she's simply too weak to. So you won't find any borders for your wheelchair." Kaori opened the door and handled each of them some keys and some id-cards. "If you have any problems or questions, feel free to call me or my colleagues. But I have to apology myself now. I promised the sports class to go swimming with them in our swimming pool this afternoon." She winked and was gone. "A nice person." Declared Michiru and rolled into the apartment. She stood in the living-room and huge windows showed out to a huge terrace. From there you could oversee the ocean. Two bedrooms were after a small corridor to the left and the kitchen and a big bath on the right side. It was the biggest bad even Michiru had ever seen. There was a shower and a bath. The tube had a special seat that would help her into the warm water and out without the need of any help from other persons. The washbasin were on her height and the mirrors, too. Haruka had to bow a little bit but she didn't complain at all. All was covered with soft carpet. Even the kitchen. The cocker was smaller than normal and she could almost reach all fans. "It's a strange feeling. " whispered Michiru as she rolled on the terrace. Here was no threshold, too. The underground was even and there were some chairs around a round table. The rim was high but it consisted of unbreakable class so that she was able to look down at the wide ocean. Suddenly tears were again shimmering in her eyes and she fought hard against them. Wind played with her long sea green hairs and for the first time after she'd left the hospital she really recognized what it meant to be paraplegic. No more running, no more riding. No more swimming... Two strong arms took her out of the wheelchair. Michiru looked asking up into dark green eyes. Haruka went over to one of the deckchairs and sat down with the young violinist on her lap. She embraced her and hold her tight. Slightly she rocked her while they watched the sun reflecting in the surface. Rough wind went through their clothes but they didn't even mention it. "Is this our new home?" asked Michiru with a quiet voice and leaned her head against Haruka's shoulder. The taller girl leaned her head against Michiru's one and started to stroke the sea green hairs that felt like velvet. "I don't know." Answered the young racer honestly and pulled her best friend closer. My home is wherever you are. *** "Good morning, boys and girls. Today we have to welcome two new pupils." The young teacher stood in front of the class. They were all talented and very intelligent pupils from rich parents. The teacher, a friendly woman with long blonde hair, looked for some seconds in expectant faces, then she waved towards the door. Haruka took a deep breathe and rolled her eyes. They moved into Mugen Gakkuen one week ago and they both knew that they'd have to join the lessons. But she wasn't very keen on it. There were more important things to do than to study for silly exams she wasn't really interested in to pass. She preferred to got with Michiru to the doctor's appointments to see her regaining her strength. To pray every time that a wonder would happen and that her Michi-chan's life wouldn't be so hard any longer. It was more important for her to go to the cemetery together with the young violinist and to talk with her about her feelings about her parents' death. And now I am standing here. Haruka wore the boy's uniform of Mugen Gakkuen and as she looked that morning in the mirror she had to admit that she really looked like a boy. With the brown trousers, the green jacket and the short blonde hair she really looked like the son her father always wanted to have. The young racer lowered her head and watched silently Michiru in her wheelchair. She wore the girl's uniform but she chose for a long green skirt instead of a short one. The green and brown colours were okay but a blue dress would have fitted better to her. Her sea green hairs were hold together in her neck and her face was very pale. She's looking like a porcelain doll. Shortly they exchanged glances then they entered the room. Together. "These are Kaioh Michiru and Tenô Haruka." Introduced the teacher them to the class. "They're part of our community now and I hope you will be nice to them." The boys and girls nodded good and several curious looks touched Haruka but she didn't care about it. Her face was as motionless as Michiru's. Shortly they introduced each other to the class. Just a few words spoken with insensible voices. Just a few words that showed them about their hobbies, their favourite lessons and the lessons they didn't like at all. Just a few words that didn't betray anything about them. About their real characters. About their feelings. About their fears. About their hopes and their dreams. The rest of the class stood up one after one, bowed and said some words to his or her person, too. The same short words that said nothing at all. And even if they did, Haruka and Michiru didn't mention it. They didn't even listen to them. They just stood their and watched the different pupils with empty eyes. Michiru looked up for some seconds and Haruka understood without a word. Carefully she pushed the wheelchair to the two free places and sat down next to the young violinist. "Okay, and now we want to go on with Shakespeare." The teacher smiled as some pupils groaned but they all opened their books and looked more or less interested down the lines. A girl with long, fire red hairs and light eyes turned slightly around and observed the new boy in class. Seldom she had seen such a beautiful boy and she decided that he was perfect for her. She smiled to herself because she already imaged herself with him by her side. It was just a matter of time. Up to today she always got what she wanted. Her smile fated slightly as she saw how the boy reached under the table for the hand of the handicapped girl and hold it tight. Shortly they exchanged glances that weren't any longer so empty as they had been some minutes ago when they were introduced to the class. Then they concentrated on the text. Their fingers were still entwined. *** They stood in front of the huge table. Different sheets of paper covered the green background. “The athletics' team?” Michiru rolled next to Haruka and watched her how she wrote her name on one sheet. “Why not? Otherwise can you imagine me in a club where I should sit calm and quiet and listen to the teacher’s voice?” A smile appeared on Michiru’s still pale face. She was a little bit worn-out because of the lessons. It was the first lesson she took part since over two months. Before the accident she had been on holidays with her parents and so she didn’t concentrate on one topic for a long time. And she wasn’t used to sit the whole lessons. Her back hurt and often it happened that she simply forgot about her handicapped body and wanted to stand up and to go in front of the class to explain anything in maths or in English. Quickly she remembered it as her legs didn’t obey. Fortunately Haruka didn’t mention it. She didn’t want her best friend being more concerned about her than she already was. “No.” She replied and watched how Haruka went over to a page that hang too high for the smaller girl to reach. Without hesitation the young racer wrote down the young violinist's name. Just at the next page she turned around and looked asking at Michiru who just shook her head. “Drawing is fine. But I don’t wanna play the violin in front of audience. Not yet.” She said then she looked away. “Okay, then our schedule is set. I just don’t understand why I should learn French. I am already bad enough in English and Japanese is the hardest foreign language for me at all.” “Don’t complain yourself, Ruka. At least you didn’t have to take the lessons in cooking I chose for myself.” “You aren’t keen on eaten what I create.” Haruka shrugged her shoulders and put the pen aside. “And I don’t want to miss your dinners. What we ate yesterday was delicious.” “Hai, it was pizza from the Italian restaurant in the city. They sent it free house.” Said Michiru and made a face but the shinning in her deep blue eyes betrayed the feelings she showed. “But YOU was the one who put it on the plates. No one can put pizza on a plate like you do.” teased Haruka and leaned forward. Carefully she took the young violinist’s pale face in her suddenly trembling hands and looked with a now very serious expression on her face down at her. “Let’s go for a walk along the beach. Do me that honour, Michi-chan. We didn’t leave the towers after we came here one week ago.” Michiru took a deep breathe, then she lowered her look. Her hands grabbed the armrest of the wheelchair so hard that the wrist got white. “Didn’t you forget anything?” she asked with a very quiet voice. “There’s all this sand and the stones and I..” “Don’t worry about that.” Answered Haruka and forced her best friend to look back into her dark green eyes. “Do you remember, Michi-chan, when you told me two years ago that we could handle every situation if we just wanted to?” The young violinist remembered too well her Haruka being very desperate at their last evening after her father found out about them. It was the first time that Michiru saw the strong racer crying. She comforted her the whole evening until her father came and took her away from her. We didn’t have the chance to talk again during the following two years. “Michi-chan?” All I ever wanted was to be together with her. And now I am together with her and I am still sad. That’s so crazy.She smiled a sad smile and touched Haruka’s hands gently. Her back hurt even more and she was sure that her weak, useless legs would join it soon but she couldn’t say no when Haruka called her with that pleading voice. She could look like a puppy with her green eyes and she knew it. All I ever wanted to be a partner for Ruka. A partner, not a burden... “Hai. But afterwards you’ll repair this vehicle.” “Don’t worry, I repaired my Suzuki several times and once I’ve touched your race car it will be so fast that no one can overcome you again.” Haruka took the handlebars of the wheelchair and turned it around and around until Michiru started to giggle. “Stop it or I’ll threw up my lunch.” She giggled and tried to reach for Haruka’s arms. She laid her head in her neck and looked up in the wolfish grinning face of the racer. “Better you do so. The canteen food wasn’t very delicious.” Replied Haruka and raced with her across the whole entrance hall of the school tower. “And now we see Kaioh Michiru how she beats all her opponents. Soon she will cross the finish line and then she’ll we have proved that she’s not only the most beautiful girl, but also the fastest and the...” “Ruka! Watch out!” The giggling of Michiru stopped and they both almost crashed into the group of girl who left the elevator. “Ups.” A girl with shoulder long, blonde almost white hairs and glasses jumped aside while another one with the same hairstyle but green hairs just looked surprised at the two fellows. “Gomen.” Said the two racers with one excusing voice. “You are the new pupils?” asked the first girl and stretched her hand. “I am Ochi Rumiko and that’s my younger sister Tarô. It’s nice to meet you.” They shook hands and Haruka and Michiru introduced themselves again. “I heard you draw very well. I can’t wait to see one of your drawings in origin. They wrote a lot in the newspapers during the past years. I am in the drawing's club, too.” Said Rumiko and smiled friendly at the girl down in the wheelchair. “Are you a couple?” It burst out of Tarô and she blushed deeply as she saw the warning looks of her older sister. “Gomen, but my sister doesn’t know how to behave. Tarô! What have I told you?” “Don’t ask too much, I know. But then I’ll stay stupid. And do you want a stupid sister?” “You devil!” “You jerk!” “You idiot!” “You baka!” The argument of the two sisters was interrupted as the elevator opened again and a girl with long, fire red hairs came out. She wore her hairs open and her look was determined. “Are you arguing again? You’re a dishonour for Mugen Gakkuen!” she snapped at the girls who bowed automatically in front of her. “Gomen. But she’s such a baka!” “Gomen. But she’s such a baby!” “Ah, and you’re the new ones.” The girl looked critically at Michiru but her expression changed into something softer as she watched Haruka from top to the toes. “That’s Okuda Ayako.” Introduced Rumiko the pupil to the others. Michiru tried to bow in her wheelchair while Haruka just frowned. She didn’t know why but she didn’t like that girl. She could slightly remember her standing up to introduce herself this morning but she didn’t listen. Really listen. “You don’t sit for long in this chair, d’ya?” asked Ayako and couldn’t hold back a satisfied smile as the smaller girl became paler. Maybe she thinks she’s something special just because she has his attention. But she is just a little, handicapped girl who misuses her power she has over him. The power of sympathy. But she hasn’t deserve him. And I’ll make it clear to her. Up to the next school year he’ll be mine. That’s for sure! “O, I didn’t mention. Was it an accident? My nephew has to sit in a wheelchair, too after he fell down a horse.” Said Takô who talked a lot when the day was long. “Did you suffer for a long time? Well, now you’re on Mugen Gakkuen and surely you will be very happy here.” “Hai, because the whole building is build for people like you, too. Because Dr. Tomoe’s daughter is such a bloody cripple, too.” “Ayako! Tarô! That’s enough! Don’t you feel ashamed of yourselves?” Rumiko stepped protective between the new pupils and her friends. “Arigato, Rumiko. It’s okay.” Michiru raised her head and looked into dark green eyes and shook slightly her head. She didn’t want troubles in the new school. Surely not all pupils had that bad opinion. She saw how Haruka took a deep breathe and slowly opened her fists. She reached her hand and stroke some strands of sea green hair on the small back of her best friend. “Let’s go, Michi-chan.” She whispered and took the handlebars of the wheelchair. They didn’t look again at the three girls again as they left the entrance hall. “Go?” whispered Ayako and raised one eyebrow but the two didn’t hear her. And if they did so they didn’t react. “How could you dare?” Rumiko yelled at her friends and saw shocked the satisfied expression on Ayako’s face. The red haired girl stepped with a giggle back in the elevator and waved towards the others. But just Tarô followed her. Rumiko stood alone in the hall for a while and couldn’t believe the last words she heard before the door closed. “Soon he will recognize that she’s nothing but a bloody cripple!” *** Cripple. Bloody cripple. Michiru laid awake in her bed. She couldn’t find any sleep and she knew she didn’t want it anymore. Not when nightmares would be haunting her down. What had begun as a wonderful afternoon ended in a disaster. She almost fell out of the wheelchair when one wheel got caught in the sand. Desperately she tried to reach for a mussel but couldn’t get it. And after Haruka hat picked it up for her she didn’t want it anymore. She threw it into the waves of the ocean and regretted it immediately. It made her so sad when she looked out to the sea and knew that the days when she swam out there like a fish were gone. Forever gone. Then their dinner burned in the oven because she didn’t have to power to open the heavy oven door and Haruka was under the shower and couldn’t hear her yells. When she tried to set the table she broke two plates and knocked over her tumbler and the hot tea ruined her green skirt of her new uniform. She wanted to wash it but she just couldn’t reach the soap Haruka had put on a higher Level of the cupboard without thinking. After she cleaned the cloth she decided to take a bath. Of course she never used the chair before to get into the tube and with a awkward motion she lost balance and fell into the water. Well, she couldn’t drown in the light water but she splashed the whole bathroom and then she actually didn’t get out of that silly tube again. It was only possible with Haruka’s help. She went, well, she rolled directly into her bedroom and let Haruka watch the film they both wanted to watch the whole afternoon. She didn’t want to see it anymore. She simply felt ashamed. Not that Haruka had seen her naked. That was okay. She had nothing Haruka didn’t have, too. Michiru simply felt ashamed because her best friend had seen her so helpless. So weak. The young violinist switched on her CD player and pulled the headphone over her ears. She didn’t want to hear anything more from the cruel world. Silently she listened to the soft woman’s voice. Her father gave her this CD to her last birthday and she loved it. The songs were full of love but also full of despair. She chose a very slow, very sad song and heard it again and again while she stared at the ceiling of her bedroom and wondered if it had been such a good idea to come to Mugen Gakkuen. Sure it was her lifeline. She needed a goal after those terrible weeks in hospital. All she wanted was to escape the pitying looks of the nurses and the doctors who declared her that there was no hope for her handicap to be cursed. Bloody cripple. Michiru reached for the remote control and the music got louder in her ears. She didn’t want to hear the girl’s voice anymore. And I don’t want to cry anymore! The young violinist pushed her icy hands upon her burning eyes and took a shaky breathe. She didn’t want to think about the next time she had to go to the toilette. Now she couldn’t simply leave the bed and walk over to the huge bathroom. Now she had to climb somehow into that damn wheelchair, get right through the door and somehow get on this bloody toilette without falling on the ground. I won’t wake Haruka up for such a normal thing. But now for her it wasn’t normal anymore. It was also very hard for her to get dressed in the morning and to get ready for bed in the evening. She didn't want to be dressed like a baby, although Haruka would have helped her if she’d asked. She always wants to help me. But I don’t need her help. I don’t need her sympathy. I don’t need... Michiru shook her head and sighed deeply. The doctor told her every appointment that took place twice a week that she would learn it. She had to learn so many things from the beginning as if she was just a five year old girl. The accident was just two and a half months ago and it needed time. Time! Time won’t solve any problems! Michiru tried hard to behave as normal. As she used to be before that bad accident. But deep inside she was desperate and broken. She didn’t show it – not even Haruka. She didn’t want to concern her best friend and she didn’t need the sympathy of any pupil in her class. I have to handle it. As I handled so many complicate situations before in my life. Michiru turned her head towards the open window and watched the cold wind playing with the curtains. The young violinist laid on her blanket and her breathe froze in front of her face to dust. Her body shivered and she was cold but she didn’t care about it. But this is the most complicate situation of all. Well, at least Haruka seems to understand me a little bit. Without her I wasn’t sure what to do. Without her I wouldn’t know how to carry on with all this. She thought that going to Mugen Gakkuen would solve some of her problems. Here she would have a new home and new teachers. And new pupils. But actually nothing changed. She used to be the rich brat in her normal school. The spoiled child of the famous piano player. Now I am just a bloody cripple. What a career! Michiru turned on her side in the bed and kept staring out of the window. But the sky was cloudy and she didn’t see any stars nor the moon. Suddenly she felt very alone. The violinist tried to roll herself up in a ball as she used to do when she felt so sad. But today she oppressed a sob as her hurting body refused this motion. *** She left her shower as she heard the ringing of the door bell. Ayako frowned and covered her body with her bathrobe. Who could this be? She didn’t expect any guests, especially not at that late hour when she had to write an English test the next day. “Just one moment.” She yelled and corrected quickly in the corridor mirror her still wet hair. Then she opened the door and froze in motion as she saw the shadow standing outside. Dark green eyes shone angry down at her but the rest of the pale face was calm and without any expression. “Haruka?” asked the girl surprised and stepped back to let the boy in. Shortly she observed the black tracksuit he was wearing and the messed blonde hair. It seemed as if he had already slept for a couple of hours. He’s so be beautiful! “Don’t you want to come in?” asked Ayako and raised an eyebrow as the boy simply shook his head. Then she saw his clenched fists and that he breathed hard as if he ran the whole way to her door. “If you ever call her a cripple again, you’ll regret it.” Said Haruka with a calm but dangerous quiet voice. She didn’t want to think of the fragile shadow lying on the huge bed listening to one sad song. Again and again. Of course she heard the oppressed sobbing as she watched the movie without really seeing it. It hurt her so much to see her Michi-chan in pain not knowing what to do. Of course everything went wrong this evening but the young racer was sure that it wasn’t only destiny’s fault. Since that so selfish grinning girl said those cruel words the young violinist wasn’t the same. After those words she looked sadder, more desperately. Really lost. And I can’t help her! “You come at midnight to tell me such a silly thing? We’ll write a test tomorrow, don’t you remember? You should be at bed sleeping deep and tight. After all she shouldn’t be so weak! I won’t be the last one calling her this way. Our world is a cruel one, sweetheart.” She grinned again at Haruka and the racer stepped towards her until only a few inches separated them. “But you’ll be the first one stop talking to her in that way! She went through enough pain. I won’t let you hurt her in that way again!” “You threaten me?” Ayako managed to giggle although she was afraid of that angry expression that laid now on the boy’s face. He’s only a boy after all... “No, I just made my point clear.” Haruka turned around and didn’t care about her still surprised looks that followed her. “She’s your girlfriend, isn’t she?” yelled Ayako suddenly after her and didn’t care to wake up the whole neighbourhood. “But she isn’t good enough for you! She sits in a wheelchair but you want to be in motion. I see it in your eyes. You’re unsteady. You like it to run and to drive your bike. After all you’re the Junior Champion. She’s just a burden for you!” Haruka clenched her fists and stepped into the elevator. The high voice died away as the door closed and Haruka knew that she would beat this silly girl down the next time she opened her big mouth again. The young racer sighed and leaned herself against the wall. Michi-chan isn’t just my girlfriend. She’s all I’ve got. Haruka yawned and ran a hand through her messed blonde hairs. She’s all I need. *** She awoke from her light sleep as the music stopped. Someone laid down on the bed next to her, took the headphone away and covered her shivering body with the soft blanket. “Ruka?” whispered Michiru with her voice full of sleep and tried to turn around. She groaned as her back started to hurt again and she simply wasn’t able to move. Panic filled herself but it disappeared as two warm hands started to massage her hurting shoulders. They loosed her tensed up muscles and reduced the pain in her body. Michiru shivered again but not because of the cold that filled the room. Slowly her body relaxed and she closed her eyes. The strong hands slowly stopped the massage and slipped under the top of her deep blue pyjama. Tenderly they caressed the skin of her back, took away the nightmares, dispelled all her sorrows even if it was just for some hours. “Feeling better now?” heard Michiru her racer whisper and she felt the warm body beside her own one. “Hai.” Replied the young violinist and suddenly the loneliness she had felt some minutes ago disappeared. She felt how Haruka took her in her strong arms and held her tight. With an almost happy sigh she leaned her head against the shoulder and smelled the perfume Haruka used. Here she felt save and secure. Here no one could harm her. Here was where she belonged. “Shall I stay for the rest of the night?” asked the young racer and buried her face in the velvet sea green hairs. She could feel how Michiru returned her embrace and nodded against her dark pyjama. For a long time Haruka laid there and listened to the regular breathes of her best friend. Soon Michiru relaxed in her arms and settled into a deep, peaceful sleep. In the light from the moon that broke through the dark clouds Haruka could see a relaxed expression on the now redden face of her young violinist. Her lips were slightly curved in an honest smile. I love you. “Good night, Michi-chan.” She said instead aloud although she knew that the smaller girl couldn’t hear her. Haruka corrected the blankets and made sure that Michiru wouldn’t freeze anymore. I can’t heal your body. And I can’t help you to accept your destiny. The young racer laid her head back on the soft pillow and closed her tired eyes. The warm body next to her was appeasing and made her forget about her own, private nightmares. All I can do is to be there for you. Haruka squeezed Michiru gently then she followed her slowly into sleep. Hope that’s enough.
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