Ah-un no kokyuu
The sphere of energy carved its way through the ground, and the earth
around it trembled. The tall, blonde woman spun in mid-jump, shouting.
A figure in blue and green leapt aside at the last minute, and the
sphere exploded in a nova of light. When the light faded and the noise
passed, three figures remained: The tall blonde, leaning heavily on a
tree; the shorter woman with green hair, her hands crossed defiantly
against her chest; and a girl lying unconscious on the grass.
"How many is that?" The blonde panted.
"Three today." The green-haired woman answered, but her thoughts were
obviously elsewhere.
"Damn it." The blonde stood upright, but her first step left her
hissing in pain. Immediately, the green-haired woman was at her side,
providing support. The blonde looked down at her and smiled, but it
came out as more of a grimace, her weight pressing the injured foot
once again.
"We have to get you out of here," the shorter woman commented,
ignoring the protests that came from her companion. In a few moments,
the only one left was the small, bewildered figure of a girl who, upon
finding herself alone in the park, began to cry.
------------------------------------------------------------
The shadows that covered the roof were deep enough to hide them from
casual observers. Nonetheless, Sailor Uranus bit back a curse as hands
prodded her ankle and foot.
"Should I transform back?"
Sailor Neptune looked up at her and smiled, a little consolingly. "Not
yet…" She returned to her task, trying to be as gentle as she could,
but a few gasps told her that that wasn’t enough. "It’s not broken. I
think you’ve got a bad sprain, though."
"Now what?" Uranus’ voice was gruff with annoyance.
"Now?" Neptune shrugged. "R.I.C.E. I guess. When you detransform, it’s
going to be worse than it is now. Let’s get you home."
------------------------------------------------------------
It had been one week. One week, and over a dozen of these occurrences
that turned harmless children into ravening monsters. Haruka shuddered
with the memories. One week since accepting her fate, becoming Sailor
Uranus – and one week with her.
Haruka shifted her elevated leg slightly. An ice wrap was taped
competently to the ankle, and the rest of her body tried hard to relax
in the bath. But relaxation was long in coming.
Michiru. Kaioh Michiru. Her name spoke of a fate long prepared – as
did Haruka’s own. But while Haruka seemed torn by doubt, Michiru
seemed buoyed by something, something that Haruka lacked. Faith,
perhaps? Or some kind of satori? Whatever it was, Haruka wished she
had some of it.
But that’s not what’s really bothering you, is it? Her conscience was
unremittingly arch. No, she admitted with an internal snarl. That
wasn’t it at all. Whoever she was, whatever she was, Kaioh Michiru
filled Haruka’s mind, asleep and awake, and was driving her crazy. The
way she flipped her hair, the way she walked, even the way she talked.
It was all Haruka could do to ignore it and focus on their mission.
Twice now in a battle she had been distracted by something as silly as
a flash of thigh…and the second time it had cost her. Haruka scowled
at her ankle.
She could feel Michiru’s hands on her leg, prodding softly, looking
for the extent of the damage. Soft, gentle, artist’s hands, Haruka had
not been able to get her eyes off them. Michiru had helped her take
off her shoes, and insisted she’d stay to help her that night. Haruka
wasn’t sure she’d be able to take a night with Michiru.
"I’ve got to get myself under control. I can’t go on like this." She
mumbled. One week, and it was bound to get worse.
------------------------------------------------------------
Michiru sat on the futon, head in her hands, praying for all she was
worth. "Gods, please help me. I know I was glad when it turned out to
be Haruka – I even told her as much. But you’ve got to help me. We
have a mission, I can’t let this get to me…I can’t let her get to me."
This week had been torturous. Watching Haruka, so close after all this
time. She had been so stupid that first time, telling the girl how she
had followed her, wanted a ride with her… Michiru blushed with the
memory. The first time Haruka had used her power in a battle, Michiru
thought she’d die, of pride, of sadness, of desire. Haruka’s eyes had
been burning with battle fire. Her face had been flushed, and she had
grinned at Michiru with the look of an animal hunting. Michiru had
gone weak the first time she had seen that, and had almost been lost
as a monster rose up behind her. Only a last minute reaction had saved
her. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she remonstrated with herself.
This was too hard! All this time, all she had wanted was to meet the
racer, to ride with her, to flirt the way girls her age did. But there
wasn’t any way to do that now. They were partners – and each held
within her hands the other’s life.
"Gods, please, help me."
So intent was she on her mumbled prayer that she almost missed the
sound of movement in the bathroom. She stood, and swallowed hard.
Helping Haruka undress for the bath had been the most awkward thing
she’d ever done. Haruka was pretty shy, for all her cool demeanor – it
was obvious she had lived alone a long time. But she’d have never made
it into the bath alone.
Michiru’s hands shook as they picked up a towel and slid the bathroom
door aside. Focusing on the elevated ankle, she forced a smile onto
her face. "How are you doing?"
Haruka’s voice hesitated. "I’m fine, thanks. Um, look, I can take care
of myself, really. I’ve had bad ankles before – a side effect of
riding motorcycles, you know…"
Babbling idiot! Haruka screamed at herself. Shut up!
Michiru shook her head. "No, you’re my partner now and I want to make
sure you’ll be okay." And I want to take care of you.
Blushing furiously, Haruka wrestled herself upright. Michiru offered a
hand, and decorously held up the towel as Haruka rose from the bath.
Michiru excused herself and fled the bathroom as soon as Haruka had
both feet on the floor.
Michiru pressed her cheek against a cool wall and breathed heavily. I
can’t do this. I’m too weak. Destiny or no destiny, I can’t do this,
I’m not this strong. Calling out lightly, she pushed herself away from
the wall. "I’m going out to get something for us to eat."
Thank god. Haruka grunted an acknowledgement and rested her head
against the door, as she listened to the apartment door open and
close. If she wanted to help me dress…she limped her way into the main
room and found clothes neatly laid out for her. Dressing slowly and
deliberately, she paused at each garment. She touched this one, and
this one and…
One week. Oh my god.
------------------------------------------------------------
Her fingers flew over the strings, while the bow cajoled the most
amazing music from the instrument. Light and fast, then slow and deep,
then sharp and biting. After too few seconds the impromptu concert
ceased. There was a momentary quiet that was broken by spontaneous
applause from the onlookers.
Michiru smiled at everyone, then handed the violin back to the
storeowner. "It’s beautiful, thank you for letting me handle it." He
bowed deeply, insisting that the young lady must have something of its
quality, but Michiru demurred and, at last, took her leave.
Haruka stood by the door and looked back into the store as she came
out. "Why didn’t you get it?"
Michiru shook her head slightly as she walked away from the store. "It
had been badly treated by its last owner. The tone was slightly flat
and always would be."
"But," Haruka asked as she took two long steps to catch up to Michiru,
"I thought this was just supposed to be a backup, to leave at school."
She tugged on her tie, the new green plaid lying stiffly around her
throat.
"It is, but I can’t just play any old thing."
Anyone else saying that would have sounded haughty, Haruka thought,
but she was right. "Like me driving an inferior car." Michiru nodded
solemnly and the two continued on their way down the street.
Haruka thought that the new uniform colors were execrable, but they
did make Michiru look glamorous and mature. The darker colors, she
supposed, did that. They also complemented her hair.
"You know, the new uniform looks good on you." Haruka said, almost
off-handedly.
Michiru started, but then thanked her in a soft voice. "You too."
Conversation died.
"I wonder what is causing all these monsters to appear – and why at
Mugen Gakuen?" Haruka was musing, but Michiru seemed to be thinking
along the same lines.
"Do you think," Michiru’s voice was hard, harder than a girl’s her age
should have been, "that someone is experimenting on the students?"
"It’s possible." Haruka answered grimly.
------------------------------------------------------------
Two weeks. Haruka felt that her life was falling into a rhythm of a
sort. It almost seemed normal now, to don the jacket and tie of this
school. To greet the other students, to fend off their teasing and
flirting, to act as if she were nothing more than an exceptional
student in a school full of exceptional students. It almost felt
normal.
Normal certainly, compared with her after-school activities. Sometimes
she would visit the track, but more frequently, she and Michiru would
meet, to transform and track down the creatures that took over the
bodies of their fellow students. They were better now, acting in
concert, fighting as a team. But with the exception of things that
needed to be said, they had hardly spoken. The tension between them
was long past snapping and was threatening to become an unbreachable
barrier.
Haruka slammed her hand into her locker. This was not what she was
good at…she ran, she drove, she moved. She was the wind, and this
inertia was choking her.
She cursed under her breath and was surprised to hear a laugh from
behind her. Spinning, she looked down at a Michiru who was looking
decidedly amused. Haruka’s eyebrow twitched but she said nothing.
The two women walked out of the school building together. The
courtyard was empty and still. No wind brought messages, no news came
from the sea. They moved towards the railing that looked out towards
the city.
"It’s not enough." Michiru’s voice was soft and sad.
"What isn’t?" Haruka asked, surprised.
"What we’re doing."
"Mm."
"Michiru, I…"
"There’s something I have to tell you."
"Please."
"No. No. Forget it."
They walked in silence until they reached the edge of the Delta.
Michiru bowed to Haruka and said, "I think we shouldn’t work together
any more."
Haruka stood gaping, as the green-haired girl turned and walked away,
leaving her alone.
------------------------------------------------------------
It was the dream, again. Michiru awoke with a profound sense of loss
and joy and anger. But the images slipped away as fast as they had
come. Images of my past life. The same dreams, or similar ones had
filled her childhood. She had told her mother about how she had been a
Princess of a far-away place and had had powers over the ocean. Her
mother and father had laughed, and told her that she *was* their
Princess.
Before she met Haruka, they had changed and been filled with horror
and sadness, with loss and endings. And now, they were complete,
telling her whole story – if only she could remember.
Her partnership with Haruka had lasted two weeks. And now it was over,
because she was too weak to stay focused in the presence of…she didn’t
even want to admit it to herself. In the presence of the woman you
love. Her mind forced her to think the words and she choked on the
emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.
"Yes." She spoke out loud to the darkness. "Yes – are you happy?" She
pounded the bed beneath her. "Yes. I had everything I’d ever wanted
and was too afraid to take it!" This whole thing was some kind of
hateful joke, she was sure. The Silence was coming, but as far as
Michiru was concerned, it could come and take them all. These fifteen
years of life had been enough. She wasn’t sure she could take much
more.
------------------------------------------------------------
The knock on the door was loud and insistent. Michiru put her pillow
over her head, but it wouldn’t go away. Slowly the realization that it
was her door - and therefore her problem, filtered through the
thickness in her tired head. Her eyes felt swollen, her mouth dry, and
she remembered with a wave of self-pity that she had cried herself to
sleep the night before.
She yanked the door open and turned away. She set water on to boil and
at last turned to face the figure in the foyer.
"Good morning, Michiru." Haruka looked more than a little ragged
herself. As if she hadn’t slept at all.
Michiru opened her mouth then closed it, finally mumbling a polite
"Good morning."
"We need to talk."
They sat, facing each other, each holding onto a cup of tea as if it
were an anchor.
"I didn’t sleep at all last night." Haruka said. "After what you
said."
Michiru looked at the blonde through red-rimmed eyes. "I’m sorry. I
was a fool to think that I could be happy while the world comes closer
every day to the Silence."
Haruka stared at her own hands for a while then spoke. "It isn’t the
Silence that’s the problem, is it?"
Michiru said nothing.
"Why did you tell me not to touch the henshin wand?"
Michiru looked up at the unexpected question. "I told you why."
"Was it meant to be reverse psychology?" Haruka gave her a small,
watery grin.
Michiru was puzzled now. "No. I was being honest."
"And were you honest when you told me that you had been following me –
that you wanted a ride in my car?"
Michiru looked away.
"Were you?"
"Yes." Michiru ground out the word. "Yes and now I’m paying for it."
"Have I made you feel that way?"
"No."
"Then what’s changed?"
The silence between them filled the room. Michiru took a deep breath
and looked closely at Haruka. Tousled hair, deep eyes full of concern,
she was so beautiful…
"I’ve changed." Michiru’s voice was hard again.
"You don’t want those things now?" Haruka sounded sad. "Because ever
since we’ve worked together, it’s been as if you don’t want to be near
me."
"It’s not that!" Michiru couldn’t stop herself. "It’s not that – it’s
exactly the opposite. I want to be near you, I want to be with you,"
she could feel the tears slipping down her cheek, "I want to be with
you." She said, as the tears took over.
Haruka stood and walked over to Michiru, putting her arms around the
smaller woman.
Sniffling, Michiru pushed herself out of Haruka’s embrace. "No, it’s
no good. We really shouldn’t work together."
Haruka looked distinctly annoyed. "Why the hell not? Didn’t you just
say you wanted to be together?" She turned away angrily. "Am I missing
something?"
Michiru wiped her eyes. "No, oh gods. Haruka." Her tone of voice was
sharp enough to make the blonde spin in place, to find Michiru
standing directly behind her.
The green-haired woman reached up and slid her hands along Haruka’s
jaw, until she cupped her head. Standing on her toes, and pulling
Haruka down, Michiru let her lips linger lightly on Haruka’s, then
pressed them together. Sadly, she released Haruka, and turned away.
"That’s why we can’t be together, Haruka. Because of that."
Haruka closed her mouth with a snap. She felt the first giggle inside
and managed to choke it down, but the second one was too strong. Her
laughter was rough and a little hysterical, but it was laughter.
Michiru turned to stare, while the blonde fell into convulsive fits of
chuckles and snorts.
"And how is that funny?" Michiru asked coldly.
Haruka had herself under control now, with only the occasional snigger
interrupting. "Michiru, look at me."
Michiru did, but did not speak.
"When you said you wanted a ride in my car, I thought you were just
another giggling girl fan. Even after we started to work together – I
never thought you…" Haruka’s face became serious. "I’m sorry. I didn’t
realize that you were going through the same thing I was."
Michiru’s mind raced. "The same thing? Then…"
Haruka laughed again. "I wear men’s clothing, I bike, I race cars and
I sprained my ankle watching your legs in a fight." Michiru looked
startled at that last statement. "What kind of person did you think I
was?" Haruka continued, smiling.
Michiru colored slightly. "I didn’t think that far into it. I just
assumed…"
Haruka took Michiru’s hands in her own. "I’m sorry. I just assumed
too." They squeezed each other’s hands tightly.
"Really?" Haruka smiled down at Michiru. "You really never thought
about it? Be honest."
Michiru’s face flushed completely. "Of course I did. It’s just that –
it’s not something you ask someone, is it?"
"No." Haruka’s voice was soft. "No, it’s not."
Michiru looked up at her, only to find Haruka leaning down. Almost
shyly, Michiru touched Haruka’s face, then brought her lips to meet
the other woman’s.
A sweet kiss, everything a kiss should be. They parted with a sigh.
Haruka slipped an arm around Michiru’s waist and pulled the shorter
woman close.
"We have to stop the Silence." The blonde’s voice was grim.
"Yes."
"Before today, I had a destiny. You know what I mean? It was bigger
than I am – a *DESTINY*. But now it’s different, I don’t give a hoot
about my destiny right now. I have a purpose." Haruka squeezed
Michiru, then pulled away. "I have to stop the Silence, so that one
day we can be together."
Michiru stepped back and nodded gravely. "Until we stop the Silence
and find the Talismans, we don’t have time for love." She sighed.
"But, Haruka, one day, when this is all over – we will be together,
right?"
"Yes. I promise."
"Until then," and Michiru smiled, brightly. "I get to tease, right?"
She slipped her arm through Haruka’s and flipped her hair back.
"Hunh," Haruka snorted. "Like I could stop you."
They laughed.
***
"What utter fools we were." Haruka said. The two women stood by the
balcony railing. They could see Hotaru and Chibi-Usa playing in the
yard beneath them. Laughter rose up from time to time, only to be
carried away by the wind.
"We were young." Michiru said simply.
"True." The blonde shook her head. "But we were very silly to think
that we could put love aside. It almost killed us."
Michiru laid her hand over Haruka’s. "Then it’s a good thing that I’m
weaker than you are."
Blue eyes met green ones. "You’ve never been weak. You’re the
strongest person I know." They moved closer, kissed lightly, then
separated, smiling.
Michiru leaned her head on Haruka’s arm with a small sound of
contentment. Time passed, each alone with their thoughts on youth,
foolishness…and love.
Michiru pushed herself upright. "Come on, I hear Setsuna calling
Hotaru and Chibi-Usa in for tea. We should see if she needs any help."
The two women turned and, hand in hand, entered the house.
The End
***
Glossary:
Ah-un-no-kokyuu: The expression of perfect harmony between two people;
two beings that are united as one
R.I.C.E.: Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation. The suggested course of
treatment for a sprain.
Satori: Buddhist term than encompasses unfolding knowledge or
enlightenment. It is often used to describe the moment of
enlightenment.
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