Eien no Nedan (part 2 of 5)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by Erica Friedman

Back to Part 1
When Setsuna came in, carrying a tray, the sun's rays no longer 
slanted into the room. Setsuna glanced at Michiru, who was stroking 
the brush languorously across the canvas. She set down the tray and 
stepped up behind Michiru, looking appreciatively at the painting. It 
presented a dark sky, rich with the burgeoning energy of stars, at the 
center of which lay a darkness - all the more energetic for its 
contrast with the light. Setsuna could feel time twist and distort in 
the lens of the painting. She sighed admiringly. 

"Powerful." Setsuna commented. "The black hole at the center of our 
galaxy." She stood watching as the darkness of the canvas erupted in 
twin jets of energy, flowing from Michiru's brush. 

Finally, Michiru stood back, allowing herself to come slowly out of 
her meditative state. She brushed the hair out of her eyes and 
stretched. Setsuna rubbed Michiru's shoulders briefly and Michiru 
smiled in thanks. The two women sat down at the small table in 
comfortable silence, and drank tea. Setsuna stared out the window, 
watching the trees swaying gently in the breeze. 

"You've been worried about Hotaru, haven't you?" Michiru finally broke 
the silence. Blue eyes met red ones. Setsuna saw concern in the 
younger woman's eyes, and smiled reassuringly. How could she burden 
Michiru with this? But it had to be said. 

Setsuna took a sip and put the tea cup down. "I've been thinking, yes. 
About the rate at which she is aging." 

"But it seems to be slowing down..." Michiru offered. 

The silence built again. 

Setsuna looked out into the yard and watched the trees sway in the 
wind. She thought of Sailor Saturn and the release of power that 
transformed her from an infant into a 2 year-old. The next release 
brought her to an apparent age of 4. Then Sailor Saturn had completely 
reawakened - her memories intact. Setsuna flinched at the thought. 
Hotaru overnight had aged to approximately 8 years old, while Sailor 
Saturn looked more like 12. After they had defeated Galaxia, and had 
taken up their old lives, Hotaru appeared 10. And now, not even a few 
months later, she looked to be a small, somewhat frail, 12 year-old. 

Turning to Michiru, Setsuna asked her suddenly, "Have you ever 
wondered about our ability to be reborn?" 

Michiru eyebrows rose in surprise. "Not really - I just assumed...I've 
never questioned it." 

Setsuna nodded. "It's Saturn. She gives us that ability. It comes from 
her." Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper. 

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Setsuna's voice was cool and even, when she spoke again. "I was alone. 
Can you imagine what it was like? Alone so far away from everything, 
anything. You hadn't been born yet. Did you know that Saturn and I are 
older than the rest of you? We are much, much older." 

Michiru shook her head. She hadn't known at all. 

"It was so long ago that I cannot remember how old I really was - 400, 
500 years, I don't know. I was about 16 or 17 in appearance. I knew 
about my powers and I practiced constantly to hone them. I knew my 
destiny was to guard the Doors of Time. On that side of Time," Setsuna 
quipped, "you have all the Time in the world. I used my powers to 
travel, to learn. About people, about the Earth, the Moon, about 
everything. I visited different times and places, always staying 
invisible, disguised, blending in, then disappearing, unnoticed." 

Setsuna turned again to the to gaze at the yard, her face composed. 

"It was a Roman border town, it doesn't even have a name now. Life was 
cheap, and often cruel. I was walking down a muck-covered street - 
well disguised, of course. I heard the chariot before I saw it. 

"When I looked up the road, a child, an infant really, stood in the 
road. I could see the driver, I knew he saw the child. He didn't even 
try to swerve. Before I knew it, my staff was in my hands, pointing at 
the driver." 

Michiru could see Setsuna's hands clench tightly around the staff she 
was not holding. 

"The chariot and driver flew backwards and smashed into a wall. The 
infant was safe - but every bone in the driver's body had been 
crushed. It was the first time I had killed someone." 

Michiru poured more tea. Setsuna picked up her cup and drank 
automatically. 

"I went back to my planet and cried. I sat in front of the Doors and 
cried until I had no more tears. Then I sat watching the mist swirl 
about me until my eyes burned with the monotony. 

"At first I thought it was an hallucination. A figure, dark and small, 
appeared in the distance, seemingly growing out of the mist. Who would 
approach me here? There wasn't anyone *to* approach me. 

"When she came to me she was serious, no smile on her face. She looked 
to be my age, but her eyes were as old as my own. She kneeled by me 
and held out her arms. I moved to her and she held me, rocking me. I 
knew her immediately. Until that moment, I had never considered the 
existence of another Senshi, but I knew her at once. It was Saturn. 

"Saturn held me, comforting me. She kissed me. When her lips touched 
mine I felt my sorrow drain away, disappear into her. As we made love, 
it was like I was given new life, new energy. She wasn't my first 
lover of course. I had taken several during my travels in Time, and 
she didn't stay with me long. I can't tell you how long she did stay. 
How bizarre," Setsuna noted, "that I who guard the Doors of Time and 
can manipulate it, have so little sense of it for myself." She paused, 
reflecting. "Before she left, Saturn told me of Silver Millennium and 
Earth and the existence of the other Senshi. And as she told me, I 
sensed them being born. 

""You and I are oldest," she told me, "we are closely bound. We are 
the only Senshi who understand Eternity." She kissed me on the cheek 
and turned away, disappearing as she had come, into the mist. 

"I pondered that last remark for a long time. I knew she had the power 
of Destruction - and I guarded time. So we did, in a fashion, both 
understand Eternity. But now I think she meant something else." 

Setsuna was quiet for so long that Michiru began to worry. At last the 
older woman spoke again. 

"Eventually I met you all, as you know, even visiting the Moon 
Kingdom. And you know I wasn't there when Silver Millennium was 
destroyed. I stayed at my post, although I longed to join the battle 
against Beryl. 

"I never saw Saturn again. She would sleep, she had told me, until an 
immense battle awakened her. She had told me she would only appear at 
endings, wherever tremendous power was destroyed. When Silver 
Millennium was destroyed, I went and looked for her. 

"I found Queen Serenity dying in the ruins of the castle. She said 
that Saturn had helped her save her daughter and the other Senshi. 

" "Where is she?" I asked, meaning Saturn. 

" "They are gone - sent to Earth to be reborn." The Queen managed to 
tell me. 

" "Saturn?" I cried. 

" "Also gone. Her power went into my daughter and the others...she 
is..." and the Queen died in my arms." 

Setsuna rubbed her face with both hands. 

"Before she left, Saturn told me one other thing. She told me that if 
I should ever see her again, to destroy her." 

Michiru put her hand to her mouth in horror. "Oh my God, Setsuna, why 
didn't you tell us?" Michiru's eyes filled with tears at the thought 
of Sailor Pluto's internal conflict when Sailor Saturn had reappeared 
in Hotaru. 

"What could I have said? I told you the truth - that Sailor Saturn 
could not be allowed to reawaken, and if she did, she must be 
destroyed. Would it have made it any easier if I had told you I knew 
her, that I loved her once? It was hard enough to watch Small Lady 
play so happily with Hotaru-chan, and know that I would have to kill 
her best friend." Setsuna's eyes were filled with the pain of the 
memory. Setsuna loved Small Lady so much and now, she had also come to 
treasure Hotaru as a daughter. Remembering the betrayal in Small 
Lady's eyes, and the fear and confusion in Hotaru's, made Setsuna feel 
ill. 

She smiled sadly at Michiru. "You can imagine how surprised I was when 
I saw Hotaru. None of us seem to change from one incarnation to 
another, but Hotaru was so small and frail..." she paused a moment. 

"I think," she said slowly, "I finally realize what she meant when she 
told me that we understand Eternity. Her power, Michiru, is so great, 
it's like a supernova, destroying its own vessel, even as it creates 
new life. It's as powerful as..." she paused, reflecting. 

"A black hole?" Michiru suggested, her eyes drifting to the painting 
on the easel. 

Setsuna nodded. "Exactly. everytime she uses her power, it ages her. 
The question is - does she know it? And how long can she sustain it?" 

Michiru's voice was thick with concern. "Hotaru's power is killing 
her? 

"Yes, I think it is." 

The silence fell between them like a barrier. Setsuna thought of all 
the things she could not say to Michiru. Again and again, she found 
herself caught between Time, knowing too much for one life, and not 
enough. 

Setsuna started as Michiru reached out to touch her hand. 

"Setsuna, please count on us. Of all the Senshi, we know the least 
about you, but you know Haruka, Hotaru and I would die for you. Don't 
push us away - even for our own safety." 

Setsuna found tears welling up in her eyes, an outburst she rarely 
allowed herself. "Thank you." She stood and began to clear the tea 
accouterments from the table. "We'll talk again. Soon." Setsuna picked 
up the tray and turned toward the door. 

Michiru watched her leave, then stood and picked up a paintbrush and 
approaching the canvas, began to breathe deeply. 

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The car drove down a lonely road, a warm breeze blowing through tawny 
hair and green. The sun was setting, the sky aflame with a riot of 
pink and orange clouds. 

Haruka slowed the car and pulled it into a cul-de-sac near a lonely 
quay. She parked and got out of the car. Michiru and she stood at the 
end of a quiet pier looking out over the darkening ocean, now writhing 
with flame. Salt filled their nostrils, and Michiru thought about the 
wind that caressed them, where it had come from, what news it brought. 
The sky became a vivid turquoise, deepening into azure. 

Michiru looked over at Haruka, who stared fixedly into the sky above 
her. Michiru reached out a hand. 

"What are you thinking?" she asked. 

Haruka faltered for a moment, then spoke carefully. "I was thinking, 
how bad could a planet be, where the sky turned to the exact color of 
your eyes?" She turned to Michiru, a quiet smile on her face. 

Michiru felt herself blush in answer to the question in Haruka's dark 
eyes. Their hands met, clasped. 

They looked out again over the water, now black. Stars shimmered in 
the darkening sky. Two bright points of light drew their attention. 

"Venus and Jupiter are in conjunction tonight." Haruka said. Michiru 
couldn't help herself - she giggled. 

"Ecchi." Haruka laughed. 

Michiru drew closer to her lover. Haruka put one arm around her. The 
crescent Moon was bright in the western sky. They watched it in 
silence, thinking of their Princess, and their promises. 

Finally Michiru came to the point. "Setsuna thinks that Hotaru's 
aging... it...she thinks it may be killing her." She could feel Haruka 
stiffen, and she closed her eyes. "It's her power - every time she 
uses it, it ages her." 

"Does Hotaru know?" 

Michiru shook her head. "Setsuna doesn't know. She thinks we should 
all talk about it with her." 

Haruka nodded. She thought of the battle with Neherenia that 
reawakened Sailor Saturn, of Galaxia and of the child who was an 
infant a few years ago and was now 12 years old. "It appears as if 
every battle ages her about 2 years," she agreed. 

"But the real question is...how long does poor Hotaru have?" Michiru 
shivered in the warm air. 

"No," Haruka said firmly. "The question is - how do we stop it?" 

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The small, pale man had a nervous laugh. "Welcome back, Meioh-san," he 
twittered. 

Setsuna looked down at him calmly. "I've brought a guest with me 
tonight, Usui-san." She gestured towards Hotaru, who entered the 
observatory behind her. 

Usui simpered at the girl. "Oh, is this your daughter?" 

"Yes. Tomoe Hotaru, this is Usui Ojabun." 

He extended a hand, "Hotaru-chan, pleased to meet you, I'm Usui." 

Hotaru took his clammy hand in a firm grip. "Tomoe, please," she said 
firmly, meeting his eyes. "I'm pleased to meet you, Usui-san." 

Usui pulled his hand back quickly as if he had received an electrical 
shock. 

"Tomoe..." Usui hesitated a moment, "-kun." The last syllable was 
spoken as a question, as if she might not be satisfied with the mode 
of address. Hotaru nodded her head slightly, which further 
disconcerted him. Her face was so young, maybe 12 years old, but her 
eyes were far, far older and her manner was that of a very 
self-confident woman. 

Usui turned to cover his confusion and lead them back to the computer 
room. 

"I've set up the smaller 'scope, as you requested, Meioh-san. Is there 
somewhere you'd like to start with?" 

"I want to see Saturn." Hotaru's voice came from far away. 

Nervously laughing, Usui nattered on about how popular Saturn was for 
beginning astronomers. "Let me just look up the coordinates..." 

"1 hour 04.5 minutes east and 2 degrees, 3 feet south," Hotaru stated 
firmly. 

Usui flushed and looked at Setsuna who nodded. He set the scope to the 
coordinates Hotaru had given him. Shortly the monitor showed the 
ringed planet clearly. 

"Thank you so much, Usui-san," Setsuna said smoothly. Her colleague 
muttered that it was nothing and made his escape. 

When the door closed on him the two women met each other's eyes and 
began to giggle. 

"Was that nice?" Setsuna asked, laughing behind her hand. 

Hotaru shrugged, "He's a prig." 

"You're right about that." Setsuna put her hands on the keyboard and 
adjusted the image. 

Hotaru stepped up next to her. They regarded the monitor in silence 
for a long time. Unconsciously, Hotaru brought up one hand to lay 
lightly on Setsuna's head, then slide it down to her shoulder. When 
she spoke her voice was older, darker. "It's been a long time, hasn't 
it, Pluto?" 

Automatically, Setsuna caught the hand and pressed her cheek against 
it. "Yes, it has, Saturn." 

Hotaru's face changed and she pulled her hand away quickly. "I'm 
sorry, Setsuna-mama." 

Setsuna smiled, with no trace of irony, or discomfort in her face. 

"Don't be. It was a very long time ago." Setsuna hugged the girl to 
her with one arm. "We're very different now. Setsuna and Hotaru are 
not exactly the same as Pluto and Saturn. We carry their memories, but 
we have our own, too." 

Hotaru hugged Setsuna back. "I am very glad that you are my mama this 
time around." Setsuna smiled at the young girl, then gestured for her 
to take the seat in front of the computer. 

"Can we see the center of the galaxy from here?" Hotaru asked. 

"Not from this telescope, but..." Setsuna thought, "We have some data 
on disk from Hubble." 

"I'd like to see it." Hotaru nodded excitedly. 

When the first picture resolved itself into a false color image, 
Setsuna found herself and Hotaru staring at an exact replica of 
Michiru's painting. 

When Hotaru spoke, her voice was once again deeper with age. "That's 
it. That's where the answers are." 

Setsuna looked down at the girl. Hotaru's eyes were dark. "The answers 
to what?" Setsuna whispered. 

"To your questions." Hotaru replied. She pointed a white hand towards 
the monitor. "That is Eternity." 

Onwards to Part 3


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