What Dreams May Come
Maybe this was nothing more than a fantasy. After all, it was a
dream. But Karin was certain that this was real. It wasn't like a
waking dream; this was the present, not the future. Karin wanted to
convince herself of that. This was happening now, and this was true,
she continued to tell herself.
The grass stretched on as far as the eye could see. There was
nothing else in sight. The clear blue sky met with the perfectly level
ground, and the sun was directly above Karin and Alice. While it was
warm and bright, it was not overly hot or blinding. Karin felt calm
here, something she rarely felt these days. She was truly grateful for
that feeling.
"This is a beautiful place," Karin said, clutching Alice's hand
slightly tighter.
"It's a part of my memory," Alice replied. "With Yuri, I was able
to see so many new places. Very few of them were this peaceful, but
that's not surprising since I was with Yuri. Still, I know even he
liked the occasional peaceful spot."
Karin smiled and sat down on the soft grass. Alice, still holding
Karin's hand, did the same. They often sat in silence together. It was
very relaxing and peaceful. Sometimes, Karin wanted nothing more than
to stay here forever. Physically, none of this was real, but everything
she felt inside was true.
"How is Yuri doing?" Alice asked, laying her head on Karin's firm
shoulder.
"He's as reckless and stubborn as ever," Karin answered, almost
wishfully.
"Do you still love him?"
"Yes. That photograph couldn't change my feelings."
Alice smiled softly. "It's okay to love him. Love is such a
wonderful emotion. You shouldn't try to suppress it."
"That only makes it hurt worse," Karin agreed. She chuckled
lightly. "I swore to myself that I would love every part of Yuri.
Maybe that's why I fell in love with you."
A sigh slipped with Alice's lips. "I do wish I had meant you in
life, even if we wouldn't have fallen in love with each other. I wonder
what it would be like to see you in something more than dreams."
"Loving two people can be a problem in reality," Karin added.
"But it can be rather pleasant in dreams. The feeling of love is still
real. You don't feel like you're cheating on Yuri, do you?"
"No," Alice assured, shaking her head. "Yuri would understand
that I love both him and you."
"That's good." Karin wrapped her arm around Alice's shoulders and
held the blonde woman closer.
Alice was a wonderful person, Karin believed. It wasn't only
because of Yuri that she was in love with Alice. There was more to that
love. She often wondered if she would've fallen in love with Alice
instead of Yuri if Alice had been still alive. Sometimes that idea made
her heart hurt. She did want to be in love with both Yuri and Alice,
and she didn't wish to give up either of those feelings of love.
Still, despite being in love with two different people, Karin
never felt like her heart was being pulled in opposite directions. She
had accepted the fact that neither of them could truly return her love;
Yuri was too much in love with Alice and Alice was dead. Even if Yuri
did move on, Karin wouldn't always be able to love him in the way she
wanted to. Saki's photograph had shown her the truth. Even so, the
love Karin felt now was enough to satisfy her. It had been hard to
accept those cruel facts, but she would treasure this love for as long
as she could.
"Karin, I want to show you something," Alice said. She stood up
and so did Karin. For some reason, Karin felt as if she couldn't
release Alice's hand. Or rather, she didn't want to let go.
The green grass and the blue sky seemed to melt away as a more
dismal area materialized around the two women. Beneath them was a stone
ground and on each of the four sides there was an unusual door with no
walls to hold it in place. In the middle was a rotting tree with a
naked man growing out of it. He looked much like Yuri.
"Is this Yuri's soul?" Karin wondered aloud.
Alice nodded grimly. "This is where all of his Fusion monsters
gather. Sometimes I fear he may become trapped here." She paused
uneasily. "When I saw him again, he was in so much pain, and that pain
is consuming him."
"Yuri..." Karin whispered, unable to say more.
Alice turned to face Karin and gripped the red-haired woman's
arms. "Karin, help Yuri find that makes him happiest," Alice requested,
feeling stronger. "That will free him from this place."
Karin smiled and laid her hands on Alice's shoulders. "I will,"
the red-haired woman promised.
Alice returned Karin's smile. "Protect him for as long as you
can. Soon it'll be my turn to protect him."
"He can be quite the handful, can't he?"
"Of course. That's what makes him Yuri."
Karin wrapped her arms around Alice and held the blonde woman
tightly. "I'll be wishing that both of you can find happiness with each
other," Karin said.
"Thank you, Karin," Alice replied. Against her chest she could
feel the cross of Anne lying on Karin's breasts. "Yuri really does care
about you."
Alice and Karin gently pulled away from each other, and after a
brief moment, they shared one final kiss. When the precious kiss ended,
Karin began floating away. "Goodbye, Alice. I'll watch over Yuri and
try to keep him out of trouble."
"And I'll continue to pray for you and Yuri and all of your
friends," Alice promised.
As Karin floated further and further away, Alice became smaller
and smaller. Leaving the dream was the hardest part, and it never
seemed to get any easier. When Alice was finally out of sight, Karin
woke up. The dream had ended, but Karin was not disappointed. As long
as she loved Alice, there were still many dreams to come.
Back to Shadow Hearts Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction