Ukyo looked at the impression of Tsubasa’s face in her spatula as she gasped for breath, then slowly raised her eyes to look around at the devastated shop. One really didn’t need the neon blue battle aura around her to know she was beyond pissed.
“I take it you are not pleased by my choice.” Her father’s voice was disdainful.
“What gave you the clue, dad?” She whirled to glare at him. “There are no circumstances in the world under which I would marry that pervert! I’LL DIE FIRST!”
“I’m not asking you to, Son. I’m telling you. Miss Kurenai has told me about how you would have pledged your hand to her had you not already been on your quest.”
“ARE YOU BLIND!!!” In rage, Ukyo ripped the dress off the unconscious Tsubasa, revealing the distinct lack of feminine attributes on his chest. “He’s a fucking CROSS-DRESSER!!!”
Her father was unmoved. “Then that makes her perfect for you, SON.” He shrugged, “It matters not to me. I WILL see you married before the year is out. I have a dozen other girls in mind as well. One of them will be suitable, I’m sure.”
Ukyo’s mouth opened and closed but no sound came out. Her hands had begun crushing the spatula’s shaft as her aura began scorching the roof. There was no thought beyond murder in her eyes.
But before she could move, a small figure interposed herself between her and her father.
“Please sir, is no way will release Ukyo from this?”
Ukyo gobbled in shock, but didn’t move.
The elder Kuonji shook his head. “I swore an oath upon my ancestors honor. Ukyo has dishonored that vow. Now I must do what I must.”
“Then honored sir has left no choice.”
“What are you doing, Zhu Shu?” Ukyo’s voice was strained with the tension of holding back her desire to commit patricide.
“Is only honorable course Zhu Shu can see.” She knelt before Ukyo’s father and pulled from behind her back an ornate scarlet and gold box. She placed it on the ground before her and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as the nervousness nearly prevented her from speaking. From the side Lo Shen looked on curiously, trying to figure out what her charge was up to.
Before terror could stop her, Zhu Shu repeated the words she had rehearsed so many times in her dreams that no trace of her accent marred them.
“If you cannot release Ukyo from her vows, then there is only one honorable choice I can make. I am Song Zhu Shu, Heir of Clan Dragon, Master of the Song School of Sword Dance, and with this gift, I respectfully request the hand of your son in marriage.”
As she opened the box, she could hear Ukyo’s spatula clatter to the floor, and Lo Shen’s sigh.
Ukyo’s father lifted one of the porcelain teacups of the set that had been recovered from the Musk fortress, his eyes expertly appraising the small rubies and the delicate gold scrollwork.
“This is exquisite. Ming Dynasty if I’m not mistaken.” He carefully replaced it next to the solid gold teapot and the fine silk tablecloth. “This is priceless.” He said finally.
Zhu Shu still had her head bowed respectfully. “So is Ukyo.”
He looked over to Lo Shen. “I do not know you, Elder, but I can see from your bearing that you are wise. So I must ask, is this match a worthy one for my son?”
Lo Shen cackled. “A far better one than you had planned, sonny. I’m a bit surprised that Zhu Shu was so hasty, and I doubt she’s thought it through in her desire to help Ukyo, but what’s done cannot be undone. My niece, the heir of the Song Dynasty, True Empress of China, Ruler of the Celestial City, Daughter of the Dragon, and liege of the Joketsuzoku, has spoken her heart. The ball is now in your court, Kuonji.”
Ukyo’s face had grown whiter with each title Lo Shen had pronounced, her battle aura extinguished like a candle blown out by a gale.
Her father nodded. “Indeed. A fine catch. Ukyo, any objections?” His tone made it clear he could care less if there were, but Ukyo still hadn’t found her voice. He nodded at her frozen expression. “Very well, I, Koda Kuonji, Head of the Kuonji Clan, Master of the Kuonji School of Combat Okonomiyaki Chefs, accept your dowry and approve your betrothal to my son, Ukyo Kuonji.”
The breath Zhu Shu had been holding left her in a whoosh.
“Welcome to the family, daughter. I know you shall never be the disappointment my son has been.” He gave the still unmoving girl a look. “Expect the formal papers within the week, Ukyo. Your wedding will take place before your eighteenth birthday.” He turned and left, his back stiff and unforgiving. A moment latter the driver came in with an apologetic look to collect the unconscious Tsubasa and the tea set.
For long moments not a word was spoken, then finally Ukyo slumped in a seat morosely. “Well, at least someone got what they wanted,” she said bitterly.
“Zhu Shu only meant to-”
“I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT TO DO!!! YOU FUCKING HAD IT PLANNED!!! YOU EVEN HAD YOUR WORDS REHEARSED!!!”
“Uc-chan-” Zhu Shu started to try to explain again.
“I don’t want to hear it! Just go! I don’t think I can stand to look at you right now, Zhu Shu! You just made my worst nightmare a reality and I don’t think you have any right to expect me to thank you for it!”
With a sob, the diminutive girl fled. Ukyo turned as Lo Shen sighed heavily. “And I suppose you’re going to tell me I’m being entirely unfair.” Ukyo said to her sullenly.
Lo Shen shrugged. “That is for you to decide. But there is one thing you should know. In her mind, she just threw away her own honor to save you. There is no way to take back what has been done. You are the Empress’s Betrothed. For your sake, she has abandoned her duty to her clan, her god, and her subjects. In her desperation to save you from your father’s idiocy she just gave up the most precious gift she had to give. She will never force you to be her lover, or even try to stop you from finding a man to love, but it will put an end to this foolishness of your father trying to make you marry someone else.” She sprayed herself with the water spout from the soda machine, one of the few intact items in the shop, and resumed her school girl form. “And now, I have to go and convene a council of elders to determine her fate,” she said grimly before making her way out of the wreckage.
Then, there was only silence.
* * * * *
It was nearly an hour later before anyone poked their head through the door, and Ukyo still hadn’t moved.
But it wasn’t anyone she was expecting.
“I guess they figured I wouldn’t kill a miko out of hand, huh?” she said as Rei waved a small white handkerchief.
“Actually, I’m the only one she allowed to come. Lo Shen kept the other girls in the dojo along with Ranma, Shan Pu and Akane. Zhu Shu has locked herself in her room and wouldn’t even talk to me, and most everyone else is too angry that she’s upset to actually talk instead of scream. Lo Shen had to put up some sort of spell to keep them from coming over here and picking a fight.”
“I see.” Ukyo put her head in her hands. “So why did you come?”
“Because I am in love with her. And because I can never have her. Not permanently.”
Ukyo looked up at the priestess in shock. “What?”
Rei sat down across from her. “When I first saw Zhu Shu, she was standing on the roof of my shrine. The girls and I thought she might be a youma, and unfortunately, we nearly killed her.”
Ukyo blinked. “Youma?” She shook her head. “I’ve seen you guys practice. There’s no way you’re good enough to have even touched her.”
“As Rei Hino, no. As Sailor Mars, I’m afraid I tried rather hard, thinking she was a threat.”
“You’re a Sailor Senshi?!?”
Rei pulled out her wand and did her henshin before she tossed it on the table under Ukyo’s shocked expression. “Yes. And when we saw her change into her cursed form, our immediate conclusion was that she had been possessed by a Cardian. We attacked her, and Jupiter nearly electrocuted her. When we realized she was human, I was devastated. I couldn’t believe I had been so quick to overlook all the training I had as a priestess and had been so willing to see only a face value, to see her cursed form only as a monster that needed to be destroyed. It went against every thing I stood for as a priestess and a Warrior of the Moon Kingdom. I took care of her, and when she had recovered, I became her friend. We all did. Before she came out and told any of us her preferences, I knew. And I tortured myself by not wanting to admit to myself that I was attracted to her.”
“Listen, I’m not-”
“Shut up. I’m not talking as a fifteen year old girl here, or even Sailor Mars. I’m talking to you as a priestess. You need to know this.”
Ukyo sighed but held her tongue.
Rei nodded. “Good. Anyway, we became friends, and we helped her on her quest to find Ranma for Shan Pu.”
“Do they know?”
“That we’re the Sailor Senshi? Yes. That’s why Zhu Shu was reluctant to let you join our class. But Zhu Shu is one of us too. And unfortunately, it took her death for me to finally overcome my fears about loving her.”
“What?” Ukyo’s face was disbelieving. “But, but”
“I know she told you about her attempted suicide, but what you don’t know is that it wasn’t an attempt. Zhu Shu has died twice.” Rei shuddered. “The second time, it was in my arms as I realized finally what she meant to me.” She pulled a small DVD player out of her purse and handed it to Ukyo. “That’s the record from Ami’s computer.”
Ukyo flipped it up and pressed play. Rei sat quietly as the color left Ukyo’s face.
“Oh my god.” Ukyo said as the video faded to black, a faint echo in her thoughts of a voice telling her “I guard the door.”
For a long moment there was silence. Then “Why are you telling me this?
“Because I know that you have a destiny. I know that you would not be a part of Zhu Shu’s life if you could not be who she needs you to be.” She smiled. “Zhu Shu has done more for my faith than all my years of training and devotion. She showed me the truths of my own heart, and because of it, I am a better person than I think I could have ever been.”
“So why don’t you go out with her?”
“I am. Our first date was the night she died. And we have been lovers as well as friends. But I can’t keep her forever. I am a Sailor Senshi, and my first duty lies with the Kingdom of the Moon.”
“Okay, that’s like the second or third time you’ve mentioned that, what the heck are you talking about?”
“Ask Zhu Shu. She can tell you far faster than I can.”
“Umm, in case you haven’t noticed, she’s not here right now.”
“Of course she is. And you know it. She said you were ignoring her, but you know it doesn’t make her go away.”
“Kami.” Ukyo sighed. She closed her eyes, and touched the part of her mind she had tried to forget was there since Zhu Shu had fled the shop. The emotional pain was like an open wound, but she ignored it. <<Look, Rei’s here and she says I have to ask you about the Moon Kingdom.>> she thought at the link, not bothering to mask her annoyance. For a long second, there was silence…
Then, she felt something touch her, like a butterfly brushing the back of her head, and somehow, she suddenly knew everything. She reeled as everything she had learned about the past shredded like paper in a storm and was replaced with a much different history.
And then, as if triggered by the sudden knowledge, from out of the depths of her subconscious came a memory of her own…
* * * *
He stood more than a head taller than Lin Tzu, but there was no mistaking the resemblance. But where she had never seen anything but love and kindness on her beloved’s face, hatred made his a mask of rage.
“Where is she, Ukyo?”
She spun her guan dao, the weapon making a whine as it blurred before her. She knew she was dead, but every second she could buy would give Lin Tzu and her sister-wives just that much more of a chance to escape.
“Where you’ll never find her, Xi’an Chi.” Her words were mocking. “Looks like you’re going to have to stay Beryl’s lackey.”
His eyes blazed. “You were a fool to stay. Did you think I didn’t know about your curse? That I didn’t know you are the father of her child?”
Ukyo laughed. “I think you are entirely unaware of many things, wizard. Not the least of which is what I am cursed to be.” With a laugh, she slit the wine skin hidden in the hangings above her.
She had hidden it for months, ashamed to show anyone, ashamed of her ugliness, but that didn’t matter anymore. Just five more minutes, that’s all she had to buy, and Lin would be safe. She looked down at the suddenly diminutive wizard, the ornate bladed staff in her hand adjusting to her altered size. “As you can see wizard, even cursed I am still a woman,” she growled past the tusks that jutted from her lower jaw.
The wizard sneered. “An Oni. Do you really think that strength alone can match my magic?” He raised his hand and fired a bolt of lightning at her.
She laughed as her glaive absorbed the bolt. “Oh, but I have far more than strength alone,” she said as she raised the blade and called “NOW FEEL THE DRAGON’S WRATH!”
Even the wizard had to shield his eyes as the blade ignited into blue fire and her cheongsam burned away, her mystical armor forming in the blink of an eye. “Do your worst, wizard! I am the Guardian of the Dragon, AND YOU SHALL NOT HAVE HER!”
Then there was no time to think, only to act.
The duel shattered the remains of the imperial palace, dust and debris flying as he parried her attacks with his staff, or as she dodged one of his spells. Her armor rendered her immune to direct magical attack and every block drained more of his energy. As the soldiers of the Moon fought and died alongside the still loyal troops of the empire against the endless hordes of Queen Beryl and Xi’an Chi’s rebels, they danced to a song of death.
And then, he was just a second too slow, and her guan dao ripped across his left eye, then buried itself into his belly as he howled in pain.
Ukyo gave a vicious grin. “Gotcha, you bastard.” She twisted the shaft hard.
Xi’an Chi coughed up blood, but gave her an evil smile, one made even more hideous by the ruin she had made of his face. “Do you think you’ve won?” He laughed weakly. “You may have kept her from me this time, but I will find her eventually, and where will you be to save her then?” He spat. “Just a forgotten trophy in my throne room.”
Ukyo screamed as the spittle burned into her cheek, and she yanked the glaive out to begin a swing to decapitate the wizard, but even as she did, she could feel herself going numb. In horror she saw the color draining from her arm, replaced by the smooth whiteness of marble.
Then sight was gone to the darkness of stone, and she relinquished herself to eternal night.
But it was okay. She’d bought the time they needed.
Farewell, my darling Lin. And know I have always loved you…
* * * *
She found herself looking at the splintered remains of the table they had been setting at, Rei hesitantly reaching out to her.
“Ukyo? Are you okay?”
Ukyo realized she was hyperventilating, and forced herself to stop. She slowed her breathing and tried to get her heart to stop trying to jump through her ribcage.
“Ukyo?”
“The bastard turned me into a statue!” she hissed.
“What? Ukyo, what happened?”
“Xi’an Chi! The bastard turned me into a statue! I almost had him!”
And then she started shaking. “Oh gods, Rei. I remember dying!” She tried to take another deep breath. “I-I tried asking Zhu Shu like you told me, and I think she tried to tell me, at least, I suddenly knew about the Moon Kingdom, and the war with Beryl and how you and the Senshi… and then, from out of nowhere, I found myself remembering how I had died… but I kept him from getting to her. I bought them the time to get away.”
“Who, Ukyo? What are you talking about?”
“Lin Tzu.”
Rei drew her breath in sharply. “You remember her too?”
Ukyo nodded. “Yes. Not really much, but I remember I was her wife, and I - I volunteered to stay behind to make sure she escaped…it was my duty as The Dragon’s Guardian.” She paused, overwhelmed by a memory of tiny little jade green eyes. “I made sure she could escape with our daughter…”
“Oh.” Rei said, her eyes bright with tears. “I wish I remembered more of the past. I have spotty memories of Lin Tzu, but they are all before the war. Of our relationship I have none at all. But you just explained why I’ve had this nagging feeling I’ve known you before.”
Ukyo raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“One of the longest memories I have of the past is of a meeting with Lin Tzu and her Guardian one day. You were older than you are now, but it was definitely you.”
Ukyo looked at her. “How can you take this so calmly?”
Rei shrugged. “You think I wasn’t freaked out the first time I got drawn into a fight against Beryl and her minions? My very first encounter got me drawn into a pocket universe that we barely got out of, but we prevailed, and now Beryl is gone for good. But it wasn’t without cost. We died getting rid of her, and only the power of the Ginzishou brought us back.”
Ukyo sighed. “I need a drink,” she said as she stood and dug behind the counter, producing a bottle of sake. Rei gave her a raised eyebrow as she poured a small glass, and shook her head when Ukyo held up the bottle questioningly.
“We’re both underage, Ukyo. You shouldn’t be drinking that either.”
“One glass isn’t enough to get me drunk, Rei. I just need to calm down, and it is a relaxant.” She sat back down, “and you can’t tell me you’ve never had any.”
“Well, just a little,” Rei admitted. “Look, I know you’re probably very confused right now, but none of that is important. I just wanted you to know about this because I knew Zhu Shu hadn’t told you, and you needed to know.”
“Why?” Ukyo said glumly, looking into her cup.
Rei shrugged. “I guess because I needed you to know how far she is willing to go to help others, and to try and make sure that you don’t hate her for trying to help, even if it might not have been the smartest thing for her to do. Whatever you may think about the fact that she loves you, she was sincerely only trying to save you from your father.”
“Why should that matter to you?
“Because I love her, Ukyo, and you have no idea how much it hurts to see her in pain.”
“Then you marry her!”
“I can’t, Ukyo. In the end, my loyalty is to Usagi and the Senshi. And I might die at any time fighting against threats that only the Senshi can handle. We are the defenders of the Earth. I’ve already had to leave her once because of duty, way back when. I can’t do that to her again. I’m thankful I’ve had a chance to be her lover again, but I can’t be to her what she needs.” She sighed. “The gods know I want to, but it’s impossible. I don’t share the same bond with her that you do. Our souls aren’t linked like she is with you!”
“I would give it to you in a heartbeat.” Ukyo snarled. “Look, okay, I might have been a wife to her in a past life, but that’s not who I am now!”
“And I’m not saying you have to be.” Rei said quietly. “But you can be her friend, and you can hopefully understand that all she was trying to do was save you from having to be forced into marrying someone your dad picked. All she cares about is your happiness. Surely you can feel that?”
Ukyo didn’t say anything, just kept staring into her glass. Finally Rei sighed and stood.
“Alright, I guess I’ve said my piece. I don’t know what else to say.”
Ukyo still didn’t say a word, so Rei sighed again as she picked up her wand and reverted to her miko’s garb before she turned to go.
“Why did you admit to me that you were Mars?” Ukyo asked right before she opened the door. “How did you know I wouldn’t run out and tell everyone? You barely even know me.”
Rei nodded. “True, but you see, I too have looked into the Eyes of the Dragon.”
Then she was gone.
* * * * *
It was a long, uncomfortable night.
The morning wasn’t much better. Zhu Shu wasn’t walking along the river when Ukyo checked, nor in her homeroom.
Akane and Shan Pu wouldn’t meet her eyes, the Amazon just sniffing in disdain. Ranma hadn’t even shown up at school.
In the corridors between classes, she had felt like the entire school had been looking at her in disapproval. The Hentai squad had shaken their heads, looking askance at her, wondering how anyone could find the cruelty to break Zhu Shu’s heart.
At lunch she had the roof all to herself, the few others who had been there leaving when she arrived.
Even her portable okonomiyaki grill refused to light. She was about to toss it off the roof when a shadow fell across her.
“Not easy is it?” Ai asked as she sat down on the edge of the roof, her long hair blowing softly in the wind.
“What?” Ukyo asked looking around for the rest of the squad, but the head cheerleader was alone.
“Being the object of the jealousy of an entire school, being hated.” She waved around the grounds. “There’s not a person in this school, male or female, that doesn’t like Zhu Shu, including me. She’s still got to pay for humiliating my squad, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like her. And here, she’s gone and thrown herself at your feet, and the entire school hates you for it. You’ve stolen the heart of their dream girl and broken it.”
Ukyo shrugged. “I would have thought it was because I’m pissed at her manipulating my dad into making her my fiancée.”
“No. Whether you know it or not, Ukyo, your dad is lucky no-one here knew he was in Nerima, or he’d have had a challenge from just about everyone in school over his idiotic vow over Ranma. We’re on your side there. You’re one of us, one of the misfits. It’s our common bond.” She pointed with her head, “Out there, a whole world goes by, doing it’s best to ignore us, the square pegs that don’t fit in round holes, but we know it’s because they don’t understand us. Take my parents for example. They just love my sister, Mariko. She’s their golden girl, but me?” She snorted. “I’m the prodigal they wish would disappear. It never occurred to them that if maybe they had paid more attention to me, instead of their work, or fought with each other less, I would have never been so desperate for attention that I ended up pregnant at fifteen.” She gave Ukyo a glare, “And if you ever tell anyone that, I’ll kill you.”
Ukyo shook her head.
“Good, anyway, they never realized all I was looking for was their love, and when I couldn’t get it, I tried finding substitutes. My squad is pretty similar, we’re all rich pretty girls who got raised by nannies and daddy’s wallet, instead of our parents. If we weren’t in the squad, we’d probably all be in JuV now. But because I made mistakes, my parents started to actually pay attention to Mariko, and she gets everything I wish they would have given me.” She sighed again. “But we all still have our little niches, our little safe havens from a world that is nothing but pain…”
“…And we have Zhu Shu.”
Ukyo blinked at Ai’s last comment. “Huh?”
“She’s the ultimate outsider, Ukyo. A mascot for the rest of us. We care about her because she finds value in us all. No matter how odd, or strange, or crazy we may be to the rest of the world, she accepts us on our own terms. She laughs at being chased by the Hentai squad, she let the biology club examine her wings and tail, she’s posed for the photo club, and even gave the chemistry club some of her scales for analysis. She makes us feel like we matter. Hell, the worst thing I can think of that she’s called me is hentai girl, and I would think as her chief adversary she’d be able to come up with a better insult than that, except that I can’t help but think that deep down, she finds it impossible to hate me, and is afraid to hurt my feelings, so as annoyed as I am that I haven’t found a way to beat her, I can’t make myself hate her either. She cares about everyone too much to ever do anything to hurt anyone. And we can all feel that. Somehow, she makes all of us feel a little better about ourselves, a little happier with our lots in life, and because of that, we hate to see her unhappy.”
A long moment passed with only the sound of the wind.
“So I guess you’re trying to tell me I should just give in and become a lesbian too?” Ukyo finally said.
Ai shook her head. “Believe it or not, no. That’s not something anyone can force themselves to be. We don’t control whether we’re straight or gay or bisexual, Ukyo. We’re born who we are. But one thing I know all about is denial. I know how badly we can lie to ourselves about what our desires are because we have so many societal pressures to conform to what’s accepted, to what’s normal. For me, it took nearly dying due to a miscarriage to get me to look seriously at my life, and if it hadn’t been for this cute little nurses aid who would come in and talk to me every day while I was recovering, I don’t know that I would have recovered. The gods know, all I wanted to do was die. But we talked, and I ended up telling her my whole story, and eventually, I realized that I loved her. We dated for six months after I got out of the hospital, until she had to move to Germany with her family, but she taught me what it felt like to simply be accepted instead of condemned.”
She looked down at Ukyo, “My point is, I had told myself so many times that my desires for females were perverted until it had simply become a habit, one that, had I not met her, and found in her the courage to overcome my inhibitions, I might have never beaten. I would have probably spent the rest of my life going from one bad relationship to the next looking solely for the most idiotically testosterone overloaded guys I could find in an effort to prove I wasn’t really attracted to girls as well. I’ve finally accepted that I prefer women, but I like guys almost as much. While I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now, I know that when I am, it isn’t really going matter whether it’s a guy or a girl, so long as I know they love me.”
She stood. “I’m not saying that just because Zhu Shu loves you, you have to return her love, but don’t throw it away because of what society may or may not approve of, or because you’re rebelling against your dad. Your only criteria has to be whether or not it makes you happy. You have to make a choice for yourself, regardless of what any of them say or do. You have to look at yourself in the mirror of your soul, without any care about what anyone else thinks, and decide what is right for you. Otherwise you’re going to be the one suffering, and you will be doing it to yourself.”
As Ai turned to leave Ukyo had to ask. “So why, out of everybody in this school, are you the only one who came to talk to me?”
Ai gave her a smile. “Because under the bleach, the short skirt and the pom-poms, I am a warrior, and I know how hard it is to be born with a heart of steel.”
* * * * *
The day passed, and Ukyo was glad that school was finally over. But she wasn’t ready to go home. Instead she headed to the train station.
Trains had always helped her think. She bought a ticket on the longest circle track and settled into a seat, popping on her headphones. Setting the iPod to random and the volume to low, she tuned out and watched the scenery go by.
Was she wrong to be upset?
In a way, yes. Zhu Shu really hadn’t meant any harm. Even Ukyo had to admit that Rei was right and Zhu Shu had only been trying to save her from her dad. And she agreed with Lo Shen that Zhu Shu would never stand in the way of her finding a boyfriend, even if they were married. It would be a marriage in name only.
But Zhu Shu had also known that Ukyo wasn’t happy about her dad trying to engage her to any girl. Just because he was a stubborn ass about his vow…
But really, hadn’t she been just as stubborn in her ten year quest to force Ranma to marry her? She’d been dead set on marrying him regardless of whatever he might have thought, sure she would make him love her in time. She had been certain that she would find some way to make him love her, no matter what. She certainly had to admit she didn’t have the moral high ground there. She’d been as willing to be as sneaky and underhanded about getting her way as she had accused Zhu Shu of being.
And what of his curse? She’d been willing enough to accept him being a girl part time in regards to marrying him, for the all of five minutes of hope she’d entertained before his mother destroyed it forever. Why really did she object to a full time girl so hard? Because she really didn’t like girls, or because she was rebelling against her fathers insistence on treating her like a boy, as Ai had suggested? She had certainly had many girls trying to date her, and even been really close friends with a couple, yet she had always been obsessed with Ranma. Could she really say she had ever truly considered anything else? Hell, if she was honest with herself, she had still hoped that somehow she could have found a way to marry Ranma, and she couldn’t say that his being a girl half the time had affected that in the least. She’d found the curse fascinating, and had had to fight the urge to pour hot and cold water on him to make him change back and forth on several occasions.
She sighed. And what about her friendship with him? He’d really been going out of his way to renew the friendship between them, and she had to admit that she had liked it. But it was just as obvious that she’d upset him as badly as she had Zhu Shu. She was afraid the reason he had not come to school today was to avoid seeing her. As chilly as the looks Shan Pu and Akane had given her were, she dreaded facing him. She had to work this out with Zhu Shu somehow, or she risked losing all the friendships she had started to find here in Nerima…
Gods! How, really, did she feel about Zhu Shu? If she didn’t know that the dragon girl was in love with her, how would she feel?
She mulled that over for a long while, and finally had to admit that she’d come to value Zhu Shu’s friendship too. In the short time since the dragon girl had come to work for her, she had settled into the same easy relationship she would have had with anyone she had known for years. She couldn’t even visualize running the shop without her. Their little game during work hours passed the time so quickly, and had made her look forward to running the shop every day after school. She’d brought something into Ukyo’s life that she couldn’t put a finger on, but that she knew she would find hard to live without.
Her mind went back to the memories she had found yesterday, and she thought about how she had felt during those moments… a warrior at peace with dying, with giving her life in the defense of the one who meant more to her than life itself…
“Beware the love of a dragon…” she murmured to herself. “For only the strong survive.”
<<Yet one dragon loved shall never die.>>
She looked around, almost certain she had heard a familiar voice but the car was filled with only strange faces. She shook her head and dismissed the random thought, then dug into her book bag and took out a notepad and her pencil. She held them as she tried to think of a way to put her thoughts down in a way that might help her sort them out. It would be so much easier if she didn’t feel like she was being pressured from every side to fall for the dragon girl. Lo Shen, Rei, Ranma and his fiancées, And now even her father. She felt railroaded.
She looked up as a pretty dark haired girl flounced into the seat beside her, muttering loud enough to be heard over her earbuds and interrupted her thoughts.
“I swear that knucklehead is going to go too far one day and I’m going to make him sit in a river until he drowns!”
She quirked an eyebrow. “Relationship not going smoothly?”
The girl looked up. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I said that out loud.”
Ukyo pulled the buds out. “No biggie, sugar. My thoughts are just going in circles anyway.”
“I know how that feels.” The other girl said sympathetically. “Sometimes I think he annoys me just to see if I’ll come back.”
“So why do you?”
The girl shrugged. “Because as much of a jerk as he can be, I also see that deep down, he’s probably the noblest man I’ve ever met.” She blushed. “Not that I’d ever tell him that. He’d laugh at me.”
“Doesn’t sound noble to me.” Ukyo tilted her head.
“But he is! I mean, he’s just had such a rough life. He’s such a sweetheart, but nobody ever gave him a chance when he was growing up. He just doesn’t know how to act because he’s never been allowed to learn.” The girl sighed. “He looks a little different, because he’s only half- … well half Japanese anyway. He was always picked on and his parents both died young. He’s just always been alone.”
Ukyo nodded. “I can sympathize with that. I’ve had my own share of being alone, and being teased. Children can be so cruel without realizing it.”
The girl nodded, “Exactly, so he’s a little rough around the edges, but that’s just one of the small things.” She sighed. “I just wish I could be certain he loved me, is all.”
“I see.” Ukyo leaned back. “So what does he do to make you wonder?”
The girl sighed. “It’s complicated.”
Ukyo laughed. “Trust me, I know complicated.”
“Well, before we met, there was another girl that he was in love with.”
“Umhumm?”
“Well, they sort of had a breakup, but it wasn’t because they didn’t love each other anymore. It was, well, because another person kinda made each of them think the other had betrayed them, and they had a really bad argument and, well, like wanted to kill each other. And now they found out that it was this other person who had caused everything. I know he still loves her, but she’s still cold to him. And I think he loves me, but every time Kikyou shows up, he’s still all gaga over her. But I know I love him, and even though it hurts so much to see him act like that, I just want to be with him.”
Ukyo whistled. “That is tough.” She shook her head. “I’m kinda on the opposite end of the spectrum. I know they love me. I just don’t know if I can love them.”
“Why?”
“Well…” Ukyo sighed. “I…um… I have a small problem with how they look.” She ended up lamely. “It’s complicated.” she added ruefully.
The girl gave her sympathetic expression. “I have this friend, named Jinenji. He’s the kindest, most caring person I’ve ever met, and the ugliest. I was terrified of him the very first time I saw him, but I saw right away that he meant me no harm, and soon, I discovered how wonderful a person he was. He spends his time growing medicinal herbs and taking care of his frail old mother. But the people in his town were just as scared of him as I was at first, and they wanted to make him move. They even accused him of a couple of crimes, until he caught the real criminal and they saw how good hearted he really was. The last time I saw him, the children were using him as a jungle gym.” Her eyes grew far away, “and my boyfriend, I have to admit, before I got to know him, he was scary too.” She gave Ukyo a warm smile. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that looks aren’t everything. I think I’d take the certainty of love any day.” She looked up. “Oh, my stops up next.”
“Okay. Hey, I don’t even know your name, I’m Ukyo, Ukyo Kuonji.”
“Kagome Higurashi. Nice to meet you, and good luck.”
“You too.”
She settled back into her seat and replaced her earbuds. It was nice to know that even people with nice sane lives could sympathize with the nuthouse existence of hers. She started to put the pad back when she realized she’d drawn something on it, and blinked.
She’d never been a good artist, but the sketch of the bladed staff she had born in her memories was nearly perfect. She shook her head in disbelief before tucking it into her bag.
* * * * *
It had been a whim that made her get off the train when she had seen the park. The cherry trees in bloom had just been so inviting, and the landscaping had provided many isolated trails that had been perfect for the solitude she wanted. She had wandered through the falling petals aimlessly, inhaling the rich scent and letting her feet carry her deeper into the stillness under the trees. Even the noise of the city around her had faded and left her in peace and quiet.
Then she found the small lake in the heart of the park, and realized she had once frequented this place in her younger days. It had been six or seven years previous, but she had once come here to train every day when she had attended a nearby boys elementary. It had been one place most of the boys wouldn’t go, simply because the park was considered a “make out” spot. She smiled as she thought about how she had once fantasized about Ranma walking arm and arm with her under the trees.
There was a small field to the side of the lake, and her hands twitched as she visualized her younger self practicing her kata, the spatula awkward in her small hands. She reached over her shoulder as she entered the field, swinging the heavy weapon easily as she took up a stance.
But there was something not quite right about the weapon. The balance felt wrong, and the handle unwieldy. She felt like she was that little kid again as she made mistake after mistake. Her patterns and rhythms refused to flow, and she finally gave up in frustration. She flopped down on a log overlooking the lake and sighed.
It was a sign of how badly out of center she was, she knew. It wasn’t the first time she had felt like everything was wrong. The spatula had always been her family’s preferred weapon, used both in cooking as well as combat, but all her life there had been times where the weapon had just suddenly seemed clumsy and graceless. Time and again during her training, her father had given her the speech about the importance of maintaining the Kuonji school traditions, until she had finally become a master with the weapon solely to shut him up.
She laid the spatula across her lap as she crossed her legs and got comfortable on the log, closing her eyes as she sought to quiet her thoughts and seek her center, visualizing the steps of her kata as her hands rested on the cool metal.
But the vision of herself from her memories kept intruding, and she found herself time and again seeing herself clothed in the armor her other self had worn, bearing the bladed staff…
She sighed again as she finally gave up trying to meditate and turned to lie on the log and stare at the slowly darkening sky. She wished she had an easy answer, an absolute answer to everything, but there wasn’t one. She had always believed in reincarnation, and that she had once been someone else, so the fact that she had regained memories of that other life wasn’t what had jarred her so badly, but those memories had carried so much more than just a sequence of events. They had held the essence of the one thing she had spent ten years hoping for…
Absolute, unconditional love. The kind of love that she had always dreamed of with Ranma. A love so strong not even death could dim it.
And it had been for another woman.
For the same woman who’s soul had returned in the body of a small Chinese girl who was lying in her bedroom at this moment staring at her ceiling in a blur of tears, convinced that she had made Ukyo hate her.
Ukyo stared at the first early stars and cried.
* * * * *
By the time she finally got home and turned in she was still trying to figure out what to do about the engagement, but she had realized she wasn’t really mad at Zhu Shu. She showered and lay in her bed, feeling the link in her head. The other girl wasn’t crying any more, but the aura of her depression still colored the strand heavily.
What has been done cannot be undone, Lo Shen had said, and of that she had no doubt. Her father had accepted the dowry, and she knew better than to expect him to back out of a formal betrothal. She was going to be married to Zhu Shu, regardless of what she might desire. She’d learned the hard way how good his lawyers were. He wasn’t going to give her a chance to escape. Even if she refused and was disinherited, she had no doubt that he’d find some way to ensure she regretted it forever. Any way she looked at it, she was officially Zhu Shu’s fiancée. Whatever might come after didn’t matter. She would be with Zhu Shu for the rest of her life…
And Zhu Shu was utterly miserable right now. It was too late to call the Tendo’s and much too late to visit, but she couldn’t let Zhu Shu spend another night thinking she hated her.
<<Zhu Shu.>> she thought at the link in her head. <<I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I hope at least the feeling gets through. I’m sorry I got so mad. I know you were just wanting to help, and I know I was just too upset to see it. I… I don’t know what to do about your feelings for me, but I can at least accept that they’re real.>>
The little butterfly was at the back of her mind, and it felt hesitant, like it was unsure it was welcome.
<<Is that you Zhu Shu?>>
<<Yes?>>
And then, around her, there was the smell of sakura, and she found herself standing in front of the little dragon girl surrounded by a twilit grove. Zhu Shu looked horrible, and Ukyo felt the stab of guilt in her stomach. She reached out and wiped away a tear.
“Look, I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“Zhu Shu sorry she hurt Ukyo.”
Ukyo nodded and looked around. Spying a stone bench not far away, in front of an arch into nothingness, she sat down and patted the stone beside her.
“I know you love me, Zhu Shu,” Ukyo began as the dragon girl took her seat. “And I know you mean well, but I don’t know what to think. When I met you, I did see something, a rush of images I can’t explain, and don’t really remember, but I knew what you wanted of me, what you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I got scared.”
“Is Zhu Shu should be sorry. Tried force Ukyo feel same as Zhu Shu.”
“You did move a little fast, sugar. But again, I can forgive you for it, knowing how you feel. And you didn’t do anything to me I wasn’t guilty of trying to do to Ranma.” Ukyo sighed. “I guess the best way I can put this is give me time. I had a memory yesterday that showed me that I can love you, I just can’t promise that I will love you. Please, be patient.”
The little Chinese girl nodded, and Ukyo gathered her in for a hug.
Then something caught her eye, and she looked up to see a mirror propped against one of the cherry trees. It hadn’t been visible from where they had arrived in the grove, but it reflected the two of them quite well.
And Ukyo realized where they were… in a shared space in their minds, a common dreamscape, and she was once again seeing a reflection of her soul.
But it was Zhu Shu who drew her eye.
Ukyo could only stare in wonder. The mirror showed Zhu Shu’s cursed form, not her normal body, but that wasn’t what made her heart lump in her throat or her face feel flushed, it was how it had been changed…
Where Zhu Shu’s hair was midnight black, the one in the mirror seemed to have been spun from the purest strands of silver, frosted with flecks of diamond. Her horns were slightly longer and were a polished gold, but even that paled beside her wings. The fine, nearly invisible scales that covered the arm part of her wing had also changed from black, to a silver nearly pearlescent in its shine, matching the translucent mother of pearl of the webbing. Like a dusting of glitter, small sparkles twinkled on those wings, and down the center of her back to her tail, accenting and highlighting her tattoo dramatically and Ukyo noted with a start that the spatula on Zhu Shu’s back had been replaced with an image of the weapon she had used in her memories.
And Zhu Shu glowed, a clear radiant light that seemed to shine from deep within her, a light that Ukyo saw she shared as well.
She pulled away slightly and lifted Zhu Shu’s chin to look into her eyes, noting that once again they had turned to bottomless pools of liquid gold.
“Whatever we may end up as in this lifetime, you should know that I loved you in our last one. I remember Lin Tzu, and I remember giving my life for you. Xi’an Chi may have turned me into stone, but I fought him to my last breath, and my dying thought was of you.”
And then she felt herself falling into those glorious golden depths and for just a moment before sleep claimed her, she felt herself wrapped by warm arms and delicate platinum wings…
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