Remembering Chloe
Kirika awoke with a start. She turned over to look at the clock and
groaned inwardly. Three a.m. *again*? What was it with three a.m.? She
tried turning back over and going back to sleep. After a few minutes she
decided she wasn't going back to sleep, got up and walked into the
living room.
She walked over to her favorite window, the one where the plant sat.
She hesitated for a minute before deciding not to turn on the lamp next
to it; she found the darkness suited her right now. On impulse, she
decided to check on the plant. Its leaves were starting to turn color and
she remembered it had been a few weeks since she last fed it. Kirika
made a mental note to remind Mireille to pick up some plant food tomorrow.
Kirika settled into her usual spot and looked outside. No one was
there. *Of course not,* she thought, *No one sane's ever out at three in the
morning.* And though there were streetlights, they were sparse around
their complex. Almot perfect darkness, matching her mood.
She'd just dreamed about Chloe. Every night this week, she'd had the
same dream over and over again. And every time, she would wake up around
the same time; three in the morning, when the night was at its darkest
and most desolatei; the perfect atmosphere in which to brood. Maybe the
night was trying to tell her something?
Kirika let her mind drift to her dream--no, not dream, she realized. A
memory. Of when she killed Chloe. She remembered it like it was
yesterday.
*************************************
The watch's melody woke her up. Kirika relived in her mind the murder
of Mireille's family, again. Only this time, she remembered Mireille's
mother, Odette, telling her to take care of Mireille and that hatred can
never save. When she came back, she found herself in the middle of a
Greek-looking arena, with no idea how she got there. She saw, however,
Chloe about to kill Mireille, and knew she had to act now.
So she did. She saved Mireille's life, by shooting off Chloe's blade at
the last second. The hurt on Chloe's face...she looked like someone had
just kicked her puppy.
"Why?" Chloe asked, not quite believing what Kirika did.
*I can't.* Kirika thought, looking almost mournful, yet firm. *I can't
let her die. Not even for you.*
"Why?" Chloe asked again, sounding on the vere of tears.
Only a few seconds passed, but it seemed like forever.
Then Chloe attacked. "Liar!" she shouted as she threw a knife at her.
Kirika picked up the knife and defended herself. She didn't understand
why Chloe was fighting her.
"Stop, Chloe! Please!" She blocked only Chloe's attacks, not becausse
she couldn't fight her, but because she wouldn't. She was utterly
unwilling to attack someone so important to her.
"You and Mireille living in Paris!" Chloe shouted as she lashed out.
*Me and Mireille...? Is she...jealous? Of what?!*
"It was...it was...supposed to be me!"
*Supposed to be...?!* Right then it dawned on her. *She loves me! Like
I love Mireille! She's in love with me!*
"It was supposed to be me!" Chloe cried as she lunged at Kirika.
Kirika jumped away, out of Chloe's reach, and dropped her knife,
showing Chloe he no longer wanted to continue. "Please. Stop already."
Kirika saw the pain on Chloe's face; it made her want to say something,
anything, to make it go away. Chloe got out her fork and looked
painfully at it.
Kirika watched with bated breath. *What is she....is that my fork?
Chloe...*
Chloe threw it away and turned around.
"Chloe..." *Does this mean...?* Kirika hoped so; she hoped Chloe had
given up. Even hoped she would walk away, even if it cost her her
friendship. At least she and Mireille would both be alive, and that's all she
wanted right now.
Without warning, Chloe ran at Mireille at top speed. With her knife
out.
"CHLOE!" Kirika picked up the first thing she saw--the fork--and ran
after Chloe. She guarded Mireille and plunged the fork deep into Chloe's
chest. Suddenly, she saw it, all at once; how horrible killing really
was. She had just murdered her other self. She murdered Chloe, and she
would never walk again, would never talk to her again, would never do
anything again. She sobbed as Chloe gasped "Noir" and slumped over.
At that moment, Kirika wanted to die.
*************************************
"Chloe....why?" Kirika whispered as she lay her head on the windowsill.
"What could I have done differently?" She racked her brain--as she was
wont to do when she thought of Chloe for too long--trying to think of
another way she could've kept them both alive. Every time, all the
alternatives--even killing herself--would result in one of their deaths.
Even so...she didn't regret saving Mireille's life, but she always
regretted killing Chloe to do so--and would for the rest of her life.
"Chloe...." Kirika felt tears well up in her eyes and her throat hurt.
She was about to cry, something else she was wont to do when she
thought about Chloe for too long. "Chl..oe.." She closed her eyes and let her
tears fall freely, not bothering to stop them. She felt her whole body
hurt as she cried harder. *Good,* she thought, *Let it hurt. It's the
least I can do...for taking her life.*
Somewhere amidst her sobbing Kirika could've sworn she heard something
move. She quickly turned around...and saw Mireille, standing on the
steps leading to their bedroom.
"Kirika..."
"Mi...reille, what are you doing up?"
"Your loud sobbing woke me up. Mind telling me what you're crying
about?"
Kirika lowered her head and squinted her eyes and she cried some more.
"...Chloe."
Mireille, sighed, almost inaudible, but not quite, and said, "Come back
to bed when you get done."
Kirika turned back around and continued crying.
Her eyes widened as she suddenly felt a very familiar pair of arms wrap
around her. She whirled around in shock. "Mireille! But you hate
Chloe."
"It's true. I don't like her at all and I never have. But you're
hurting." She pulled Kirika closer, until the younger girlwas snuggled into
her shirt. "Go on, cry," Mireille whispered. "I'll stay as long as you
need me to."
And so Mireille held her as Kirika cried into her shirt, and they fell
asleep like that, leaning against the wall.
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