Eclipse (part 9 of 32)
Back to Part 8I'm awake, but still so tired, I don't want to move. Mireille has me
firmly wrapped in her arms. I realize my face is stuck to her shoulder
in a puddle of drool.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, just in case she's still sleeping, but I feel
that she's awake.
"It's okay." She kisses the top of my head. I sigh. A few days ago, this
moment would be one of perfect peace. But I still have that fear, than
anxiety, gnawing at me.
"You had more dreams last night."
"Just one. Over and over." I bury my head further under her neck, as if
I can hide from it.
"There was a room...something very bad happened there." Even now, in the
daylight, I feel the skin on the back of my neck crawl at the thought.
"To you?" she pulls me in to her tighter.
"Maybe..." I can't tell her the flashes of what I've experienced- the
screaming, the horrible beating. Throughout the night, sometimes I felt
like I was watching it; other times it seemed to happen to me. The
feeling I get, the helpless feeling, makes me shiver.
"Forgetting your past...may not have been such a bad thing after all."
She frees her hand to stroke my hair. "I don't like seeing what
remembering it does to you."
"Everything I remember...hurts." I whisper as I feel her hand in my
hair, trying to unclump it.
"Let's take a nice long bath together, we'll both feel better." she
kisses my forehead.
Suddenly the toilet flushes from the other room, and her head jerks up.
"Soldats. I can't believe I let them stay." she growls.
"They're protecting us."
"Soldats took my family. All they want to protect, is their own
interest." She moves to get up. "I'm going to go have a talk with them
about that." She gets up and goes over to the dresser.
I sigh, knowing it is useless to argue with her.
----------
I look at her, bent over the well-worn dresser, and remember what Uncle
said last night. According to him, Mireille can have almost anything she
wants. Yet here she is, in this small apartment, with this old furniture
and narrow bed. It's almost as if she's exiled herself from something.
Something....I narrow my eyes.
"Why do you do it?" I ask. "When you could have it all, why do this?"
She stops for a moment. I see her hands tighten on the edge of the
dresser.
"If they can't enjoy it...why should I have that right?" she pushes the
drawer shut with her hip. "You can't understand..." she says softly. "I
can't really explain it."
I get up and wobble my way over to her and hold her. I feel her chin lay
on top of my head, and her chest pushes into mine as she gives a deep
sigh..
"When you're lonely...it doesn't matter what you have. The size of a
lonely world...never changes, Kirika."
We stand in silence, and I listen to our breathing together. I remember
the pain I felt at school, how horrible I felt, before Mireille.
"But we're not lonely any more, are we?" I move my head to look up, and
we stare at one another.
"No... and our world is changing. It's just how it's changing that
worries me." She takes her shirt and wipes my lip. "I want to have
control of it- and right now I don't. " She releases me and steps back.
"Neither do you." she looks at me to make her point.
She turns back to the dresser, opens the top drawer, and pulls out her
gun.
"But if anyone thinks we're about to be a pawn in their game." She cocks
the gun in her hand. "They're wrong. Dead wrong."
Onwards to Part 10
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