Watching You
I’ve never been one to get crushes; actually, I never HAVE had a
crush. I never even had a crush on you. I just fell head-over heels in
love with you, straight from the moment I met you. Even if it seems as
if I don’t…it only shows through at small moments. But that’s how I
want it.
Do you know what kind of love I mean? The romantic, passionate
kind that keeps you going? The kind where you would sacrifice your
life of feelings or anything for the sake of the one you love without
a second thought? It’s scary, in a way.
Because you may never be loved back.
But it’s okay, I guess. I don’t like the thought of you getting
together with someone else. But that’s the way I am. Jealous. It’s so
hard not to just reach out and take your hand, and ask if you would
like to dance. But then, I’m getting used to being a wallflower,
leaning against the cold, hard stone, watching the couples twirl about
in patterns I couldn’t hope to break into, dancing along with you as
my partner. You need to have a partner, after all, to dance at these
things.
They all like you too. It hard to see how they couldn’t. I never
thought I would fall in love, but after I met you it wasn’t hard to
see how I could. But I had promised I would only watch you, knowing
that you would fall for one of them. Guessing you would fall for one
of them. Wishing you wouldn’t, that you’d look into my eyes and see
everything I can’t say for fear of scaring you off. That you’d accept
it. That you’d feel the same way.
My heart is very, very bad. It’s not making this whole ‘not
saying anything’ thing any easier on me.
You see my gaze and smile gently, the smile that makes my heart
flutter. “Erika-chan, would you like to dance? Everyone else is still
at the refreshment table, and this is my favorite song.”
My mouth must have said something without my permission again,
because now I’m dancing with you, twirling about in the dances that
meant so little when I was just watching them. I’m surprised to note
that you’re exactly my height now; I used to be taller. We pull closer
and I see that you’re mouthing the words, singing ever so softly, eyes
at your feet.
And you look up, seeing my eyes on you once again. And you
smile, the simple expression faltering. “E…Erika-chan…”
“Hai?” We’re slowing down a bit, earning us angry glares from
other couples.
“I…” You clear your throat. “I’ve been meaning to tell you
something.”
“What is it?” I think my heart just sped up quite a bit.
“I like someone.”
And then stopped. “Oh…um…oh, hey, there’s the others with the
drinks!” I’m about to go over to them, to my best friend and my other
friends, but you grab my hand.
“Erika-chan! Hold on for just one moment!” You pause, then sigh.
“I don’t think they like me back.”
I stop, if only because you look so sad. “I’m sure they like you
back.”
You smile sadly. “As a friend only. Erika-chan, I’ve been
meaning to tell you who I…”
My brain tells me I should run before my heart gets broken. My
heart disagrees, though it doesn’t want to be broken. It wants to stay
with you.
“…Who I like. I like you, Erika-chan.”
…
…
…
What just happened?
“You…you what?”
You look away. “I like you, Erika-chan.”
“That…that can’t be true…”
And then you lean in and kiss me, once.
I really must be going insane. “But…”
“Gomenasai…I…” You turn to leave.
“Karin-chan, wait!” I grab your hand this time, and you turn
back to look at me, tears streaming down your face. “I…I like you
too.”
And then we’re hugging, and I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“Congratulations! We got the whole thing on tape!” Ikki beams,
proud of himself for not leaving the cap on the camera, most likely.
He winks at me. Of course he knew whom I liked. He IS my best friend,
after all. He used to have a crush on Karin, but then, he tends to get
crushes. “Right Metabee?”
“Yo, Ikki? Kogee’s out cold…” Metabee sweatdropped.
“Probably from seeing his life-long love kiss someone else.”
Sumiladon replied, shaking Kogee.
“Kogee-kun has a life-long love?” You ask, blinking.
Somehow I have a feeling you never had crushes either.
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