The Way We Are (part 4 of 20)

The Reality of Things

That’s exactly what came between Natsuki and myself after that Halloween night.

She stopped coming over. She stopped meeting with me at the garden for lunch. The only time I heard her voice was the few times I had the courage to try and call her, however, that only resulted in one-word answers, her dodging my questions, and her inevitably ending the call before I could really even say anything.

Busy, she said. She wasbusy with things.

This is my fault…I went too far…

I had known Natsuki was uncomfortable with me being that way with her, she was so body shy, but I never thought I’d scare her off like that...I hadn’t meant for it to be anything more than my usual friendly teasing…

Just keep telling yourself that…

I owed her an explanation. More like an apology. The only problem was she wasn’t giving me that chance. It wasn’t something I could do over the phone. I had to, needed to, tell her in person.

You’re not truly sorry…

And then there was that scar on her wrist. I had never noticed it before. Granted she usually wore long sleeves, but still…Where had it come from? I wanted to ask her about it, but considering how things were at the moment, I doubted that it would be a very good idea to go prodding.

Four weeks. That’s how long she managed to avoid me. I have to give her credit for that. She was still coming to school, but she somehow always slipped away before I could catch her. By this time, my guilt was beginning to build up along with my yearning to talk to her again…see her again. I missed her. Simply missed her.

Missed? More like…

I tried my best to keep busy with things, and that helped, if only a little. Then one day towards the end of November she suddenly called. I couldn’t believe it when her name popped up on my caller I.D. and, needless to say, I flipped open my cell with all haste and shoved the thing to my ear.

“Natsuki?”

“Hey.”

She sounded like she always did, like we had talked just yesterday. I was beyond relieved.

“Hey…how have you been?”

“Alright. You busy?”

“No, why do you ask?”

Even if I had been a doctor in the middle of brain surgery I would have said the same.

“Just meet me at the parking lot behind the school. I have something to show you.”

There was a rather excited tone to her voice.

“O-Okay…”

“See you in a few.”

The dead phone line buzzed in my ear.

Natsuki…initiating a meeting…?

I had to have been dreaming. I just knew it. I pulled my phone away and just stared at the screen until it faded to black.

“Huh.”

I wasn’t about to sit here and analyze the situation. Natsuki had called me. Not the other way around like usual. Something was up…Something had to be up. I certainly wasn’t complaining though. I was finally going to get my chance to talk to her.

See her…

I quickly threw on a jacket and slipped into my shoes before walking down the street to the Academy. When I got there and turned the corner towards the back parking lot, my eyes immediately locked onto the lone raven-haired figure clad in a dark grey and red leather body suit leaning against a midnight blue motorcycle.

When she realized I was approaching, she turned around and waved at me, “Yo.”

I remained speechless as I stopped before the vehicle, but it wasn’t what my attention was on.

That suit…it’s rather revealing—!

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“H-Huh?” I responded, snapping out of my daze. I could feel myself blushing slightly, but luckily Natsuki was too preoccupied to notice.

Why am I…?

“The bike…do you like it? I wanted to show you as soon as I got it,” she informed me, beaming with pride as she slapped the seat with her gloved hand.

“Yeah, it’s…nice. What made you want to get a bike?”

…Natsuki…

She looked at me like I was crazy, “Who wouldn’t want one? This baby’s amazing. She’s an import, but she’s still fast. Haven’t you ever ridden one before?”

I shook my head, dumbfounded.

She just rolled her eyes at me before grabbing the helmet that had been resting on the back of the bike this whole time, “Then let’s go.”

“You mean?!”

Just forget about it for now.

“Yeah, yeah…” she retorted as she slipped the thing on before opening the back compartment on the bike and pulling out another helmet, shoving it in my direction, “Here.”

I put the thing on as fast as I could, overly excited about actually getting to go on my first motorcycle ride, and with Natsuki on top of that. After we were situated on the vehicle, however, that previous excitement quickly turned into anxiety at the roar of the engine. I heard Natuski let out a triumphant ‘ha’ at the sound.

The bike shook in its idle state causing me to squeak as I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist. At the touch, she turned her head to look at me over her shoulder.

“We haven’t even moved yet,” her muffled voice proclaimed.

How would I know? I have my eyes shut.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to—”

“No! I do!” I nervously protested a little too loudly.

“Alright…” Natsuki didn’t sound too convinced, but she urged the bike forward anyway, making sure to go slowly for my sake.

Eventually I opened my eyes and lift my head to take in my surroundings.

We were traveling down the main road heading back towards the city. My grip around Natsuki loosened slightly, and sensing the movement, she spoke.

“Better now? See, it’s not so bad once you get used to it.”

“Yeah,” I responded more like my usual self.

It really was rather fun, and I began to relax more and more as we keep going. Even so, I made sure to keep myself close to her body, taking comfort from her warmth.

I just wish I could reassure you that being close to someone else isn’t so bad either…

As much as I was enjoying our little ride around town, I still knew in my heart that I needed to talk to her, and that wasn’t going to be so easy while still on the motorcycle, so when we stopped at a red light, I proposed my idea.

“Hey, Natsuki, can we stop somewhere?”

“Sure. Where to?”

“It doesn’t really matter…I just…we need to talk...”

“Huh? Alright…I guess we’ll just head back to your place then.”

In a few minutes, we were back at the dorms. Natsuki parked the bike and after we had taken off our helmets, we headed on up to my room.

Once we were inside, Natsuki jumped onto my bed, “So what’s the matter?”

“It’s about what happened that night we went to the movies…” I started as I placed my jacket on its hangar and set it back in its spot in my closet.

“What about it?”

“What I did…” I paused momentarily before finally just spitting it out, “Look, if I made you uncomfortable by…touching you…I’m sorry.”

Touching? I’m not sure if what you did can be that easily defined…especially since you enjoyed—

A half amused look took over her features, “Is that what this is all about? I thought you were acting a little weird earlier…Wait…You don’t think I was, like, avoiding you or something because of that, did you?”

She seemed to spit the words at me, and I turned away from her.

“Heh, you’re a weird one, Fujino.” she muttered as she got up and made her way towards the door, “Well, I’m off to go ride around some more. See you later.”

I heard the door open and close, but I still didn’t move.

“That wasn’t very convincing, you know?” I whispered to the now empty spot where Natsuki was just sitting.

On top of that, I had finally started looking into my mother’s case. Between going to school, exercising in the afternoons, and trying to gain information in the evenings, I didn’t really have much time for anything else. I had told myself I was going to do this, and I was absolutely serious about that proclamation.

To say that I didn’t miss spending time with Shizuru would have been a lie despite what had happened the previous month. Sometimes I was tempted to stop by her dorm, but I refrained from doing so for fear that she would begin questioning me about what I had been doing all this time. So, I kept my distance for quite a while, but when I bought the bike, I just had to show someone…and she was the only someone that I had.

When she said that we needed to talk, I really didn’t know what to expect. Then when she told me she was sorry about what happened, I couldn’t even think. I tried to reassure her that it was just a misunderstanding, that I wasn’t upset, and that nothing had really happened…maybe I was trying to convince myself of that as well…Either way, I did what I always do best: I ran away.

We still talked after that though, and we spent time together here and there. She tried to act like her normal self, and to the outside world, we would have appeared to be our normal selves around each other, but deep down we were both different. She still teased me thoroughly, poking and hugging me every now and then much to my discontent, but at least it hadn’t been in the same way as that night…But that still didn’t mean that I liked it. I just tolerated it.

It was during this time that I met Yamada, the man who would become my number one informant for matters dealing with my mother’s death. He was the first one to mention the First District to me, but not for free of course. Yamada told me they were powerful enough to even have their people involved with the government. But I didn’t care. No matter how big or small my enemy was, I would hunt them down and demand answers.

This was also when the whole HiME thing came up again. What exactly was this higher-order matter? My mother had been researching the same thing when she had been alive, hadn’t she? Highly advanced materializing equipment…HiME…that’s what this group was apparently looking for. They wanted the people with this ability. Despite all of this, it was what Yamada told me next that made me shiver.

These people, this First District, they were gathering these ‘HiME’ at none other than my own school, Fuuka Academy.

It startled me at first, but I think somewhere deep down I always had a suspicion about the school that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

After I left the bar that night, I decided that I would sneak into the school to see if I could find anything.

And what happened there…well, it changed everything.

With Akane gone, I proceeded onward. I really had no idea where to begin in my personal investigation, so instead I decided to go find Higurashi’s notes first when a piercing howl cut through the night’s silence. There had been rumors of stray dogs wandering the campus as of late, but the sound I had just heard didn’t belong to any dog I could think of.

That’s when the mark started to burn. The mark on the lower left side of my back had been there for several months now, but it had never stung like this before.

What is this…?

Suddenly a voice reached my ears, “Hi! Pleased to meet you, Natsuki-chan.”

That was the first time I ever encountered Homura Nagi. Such a creepy little kid…You could tell that something was suspiciously afoot with him by just looking at him, but his speech also gave me reason to be wary.

He was the one, on this chilly night, to inform me that I was a HiME. He knew about the star too. The marking on my side flared more intensely as I listened to his words, trying to grasp what was going on before my thoughts were shook by another mighty howl. Then, suddenly, a beast of the darkest black appeared before me. It was like a shadow, but it had red eyes that stared back into my clear emerald ones so intensely that it terrified me.

What happened next was quite a blur. I was attacked by the shadow beast, and even though I ran as fast as I could, I couldn’t escape. I tripped. Screaming up at the monster looming over me, my mark shined so brightly I could see it through my clothing, and a strange tingling sensation erupted in my palms.

The next thing I knew there were two tiny pistols in my hands. They were oddly shaped however, not like a normal gun. I didn’t even notice when I pulled the trigger, at least not until the sound of its fire burst into my ears.

“That…is your Element.”

The voice came from the darkness of the trees around me, but before I could even ask whom it was, the beast before me moved. I instinctively raised the weapons in my hands.

“Your Element…the ritual weapon given to a HiME, the arms you materialized with your own will…but there is no time to waste. Use them to defeat this beast.”

“Ele…ment?” I began to question, but right then, the beast lunged for me.

We struggled, it snapping and clawing at me, me shooting and dodging.

Since when could I move like this?! I know I’ve been working out more lately, but still…

“This is a HiME. Does it make you afraid? But, this is a HiME’s fate…however blessed a fate it might seem, you should have understood that you can’t escape that system…And yet…” the voice continued to speak, but was interrupted. Words were exchanged between two individuals sheltered by the darkness, but I was too preoccupied to listen.

I was beat to all hell. The beast still continued to growl at me, but for some reason I wasn’t afraid of it anymore.

I stared directly into those ruby eyes, “…What am I to you? What is it you want from me?”

A flash. Memories of when my father first brought Duran home flooded my mind.

These eyes…they’re just like Duran’s…

I lowered my element, “Do you…feel lonely, too?”

I took a tentative step forward, the creature before me only watching, but before I knew it, I was close enough to touch the thing.

“I see…you’ve been waiting for me…Duran…”

I smiled, and the beast released another deafening roar.

“You did it, Natsuki-chan. This child has accepted you. So how about you truly accept this child, too?” Nagi’s voice piped in, “No matter what your goal is, this child will become a strong ally. In return, however, you must wager the thing that’s most important to you.”

“I don’t care. I don’t have anything that’s important to me.”

Suddenly a symbol appeared beneath the beast and me. A column of water erupted around us along with a pain in my abdomen, but it was followed by a stab of pure rapture along my spine.

I embraced the wolf-like creature before me; it’s former shadowiness fading into glimmering silver.

“Duran…”

Was it real?

Yes, the weapons that continued to appear in my hands with a little concentration were proof of that.

Why me? Who was this boy, Nagi? Why is the First District gathering Himes? Who else had these powers? Why had mom run away from thee people…why did she have to die?

The answers were at Fuuka Academy, and that was the reason why I returned. There was a certain Afro-senpai that I needed to talk to…

That man, Mr. Sakomizu, I’m not sure when I finally remembered, but he had been at the place where my mother worked. He had even played with Duran and me on occasions. So what was he doing here at this school?

He obviously knew something, I mean, he congratulated me on my “awakening” when I began to interrogate him during the lunch break. I tried to question him about the First District and about my mother, but he dodged my inquiries and told me to back off of the investigation. Apparently the First District, which he was obviously a part of, would kill him if he leaked any information at all.

I let him be for the moment, but I had no intention of simply letting him off the hook.

I’ll make you talk one of these days…

-u could have told me u were back-

-sry-

-r u ok?-

-yea-

-meet at the usual place after school. k?-

-k-

I sat there for a few minutes before she finally appeared, and when she did, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I quickly closed the distance between us, “Natsuki, what happened? I thought you said you were fine…you’re covered in scrapes and bruises…”

I had to hold myself back from cupping her battered cheek in my hand.

Natsuki…

“It’s nothing really, just a little accident.”

“Accident? Did you fall off your bike? I swear I’ll keep you away from that thing if that’s the case—”

“No, it wasn’t that. I’m a better driver than that, sheesh...Look, don’t worry about it, Shizuru. They’ll heal in a couple of days. They’re so small they won’t leave any scars.”

“Like that one on your wrist?”

The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop myself. The look on Natsuki’s face was one of complete shock before it returned to its usual cool composure as she slipped said wrist out of my view.

“When did you see that?”

“Halloween.”

“I see…”

There was a long silence between the two of us before I pressed further.

“So are you going to tell me how you got it?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

Natsuki finally met my gaze for the first time in our conversation, those beautiful green eyes pleading with me to stop.

I stared into them for quite a time before releasing a defeated sigh, “Fine, I won’t tread where you don’t want me to…but I do wish that you would trust me enough to talk to me more.”

My words seemed to sadden her as she averted her eyes elsewhere, “It’s not that…Maybe one day, Shizuru. I’m just not ready yet.”

Her eyes met mine again, “If I were going to tell someone, it would be you, Shizuru. I promise you that much.”

I smiled as best as I could. Her words truly were sweet, but that didn’t ease the worry in my mind. I would just have to wait until the time was right for her.

I’d wait forever for you, Natsuki…

“So I guess that means you won’t tell me why you’ve skipped school the past three days either, hmm?” I questioned in my usual teasing tone.

She smirked and let out a small laugh as she shook her head.

There was a small pause before she spoke again, “Hey, Shizuru?”

“Yes?”

“You’re a class representative, right?”

I replied with a nod, “Why do you ask?”

“I hear that class reps have a higher access level within the school’s intranet than normal students…”

I eyed her curiously, “Is Natsuki asking me to change her attendance record? Not that I could anyway…”

“Of course not,” she defensively retorted, “There was just some information about the school I was hoping to find.”

“Such as?”

“…The state of its administration, the director’s name and personal record…And a register of the staff members and pupils. If possible, their personal records too.”

“Ara, I’m afraid that the access level of a class representative is not much above that of a regular student.”

“Hmm. Well, never mind then, just forget about it.”

It was obvious that she was disappointed. Why did this mean so much to her? What was she keeping from me? I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get those answers right now, or maybe ever. All I could do was help Natsuki in any way possible. Even if she couldn’t tell me her intentions, I could still aid her, right?

I came to my decision with little to no hesitation. I might not know what goal it was Natsuki was trying to complete, but I would do anything in my power to help her achieve it. If she needed to get those records, then I would get them for her. And there was only one way I could think of to do that…only one inconspicuous means of acquiring that information…

I would become the next Student Council President of Fuuka Academy.