Bared Souls
“Mrr... Shizu-ru...” Natsuki moaned out as her struggling managed to land both her and the target of her exasperation in a pile on her bed.
“Is something the matter, Na-tsu-ki?” Shizuru said, enunciating each syllable of the girl's name clearly in a way that didn't evoke any particular intent other than simply being playful. She didn't make any effort to move herself from her current position, only nuzzling her head into Natsuki's back.
Natsuki sighed, putting extra effort into it so she could be sure Shizuru heard it. Her tormentor would have to be denser than Takeda to not know what the problem was right now, but Natsuki knew from experience that Shizuru would feign ignorance just to have some fun with her. And then, one way or another, Shizuru would find something to pretend to take offense at, and Natsuki would then be at her mercy and have to make amends. With Shizuru's mood, Natsuki could guess just what those amends would be.
Er, wait... Why is that a bad thing, again? Natsuki felt a wave of shivers pass through her body as Shizuru used her moment of stillness as a chance to gently stroke her hand down Natsuki's side. Maybe Shizuru wasn't really trying to torment her now, but she was just being loving. And I guess I do kind of want to be loving back to her... But, no, I've got a better way to do that. I just can't have any distractions. And a naked, clingy Shizuru with full access to my body is about as distracting as it gets.
“The matter is that I can't get dressed with you glued to me like this,” Natsuki said.
“Mou... why would Natsuki want to get dressed?” Shizuru said, her comment not surprising Natsuki in the slightest. She pressed the side of her head into Natsuki's back, the feeling of her soft hair against it quite pleasant. “I can think of lots of fun things we can do naked... In fact, it's a requirement for most of them. Or does Natsuki perhaps wish to play strip tutoring again?” At this, Shizuru's hand found its way to Natsuki's breast and started to gently play with it, soon working her nipple into an erect state despite Natsuki's attempts to stay in control of the situation.
Natsuki's face tensed up as she tried to resist breaking out into a blush and falling for Shizuru's manipulation – both kinds of manipulation, though it was getting harder and harder to ignore just how good her breast felt... No! You have to be strong, you're doing this for her. Natsuki gritted her teeth and focused. She wasn't going to have this small bit of control much longer, so she had to convince Shizuru now or she was screwed. Again, not that that would be so bad... Gah!
“Shizuru... please, just trust me on this...” Natsuki managed to say, just as she felt her resistance breaking down completely. She therefore found it quite disappointing when Shizuru took just this moment to move off of her, acquiescing to her previous demands. The sudden absence of that familiar body connected to hers was disconcerting, and Natsuki found herself unconsciously wrapping her arms around herself to make up for not having Shizuru there to do the same.
Natsuki could hear Shizuru start to rustle around behind her. As she did this, Shizuru said, “Alright, I'll trust Natsuki to make this worth my while. Of course, if Natsuki fails to do so, she'll have to be punished. I'll have to make sure it's in a way that will properly make up for the fun she's denying me now with plenty of fun then...”
“Right...” Natsuki said. She wasn't really paying attention to what Shizuru was saying, still a bit dazed from the effects of how Shizuru had worked her up and then disappeared from her position. Even though it was what she'd asked for, Shizuru's presence was still quite addicting, and Natsuki was now facing withdrawal.
“Ara? Is Natsuki is having second thoughts now?” Shizuru said. A teasing lilt was in her voice; she was certainly having fun with the state she'd put Natsuki in.
Yes... Natsuki answered silently. She wasn't going to let that stop her, though. Forcing herself to shake off the daze Shizuru had put her in, Natsuki rolled over and got off her bed, heading to her closet to get dressed. She noticed that Shizuru was now wearing a new outfit – she must have brought it along in her bag the night before. She'd almost been expecting the girl to not have brought any clothes along just so she'd have an excuse to remain naked for as much of the day as possible. Perhaps she had indeed been planning to make that excuse, and it was only Natsuki's request that made her change her mind. Or maybe Natsuki was just over-thinking things again. She really had to stop doing that, especially now that she and Shizuru didn't have any reasons left to keep anything from each other.
“So, does Natsuki wish to tell me what's more important than making love to me?” Shizuru said as Natsuki started to get dressed. There was a teasing tone to her voice, of course, and also a little mock hurt. Natsuki was almost surprised to find that she wasn't really reacting to it as she might have in the past – with a prompt blush at the mere thought of making love. Was she developing a resistance to Shizuru's teasing, perhaps? Oddly, that thought struck her as not entirely pleasant. Shizuru liked teasing her and seeing her blush, after all... Perhaps she'd have to relent a little for her girlfriend's sake.
“Er... check under the bed, I guess,” Natsuki said as she opened her closet to pick out a bra to wear for the day. She didn't know how long she'd actually be able to keep it on, but she did need something for the meantime. Eventually, she settled on what was one of the fanciest pieces in her collection: the European bra she'd picked out the week before during her lingerie shopping spree, courtesy of Shizuru.
Was that only a week ago? Wow, it seems so much longer... So much has changed for me since then... Natsuki found herself trailing off into thought as she held the bra in front of her. Her life had been changing drastically recently. She was falling more and more for Shizuru, ever since she'd realized her love just over a week ago. She'd taken Shizuru's virginity and given up her own, and now she was even having thoughts about moving in with her. It was all happening so fast. The person she'd been a couple of months ago would have been scared to death of how much she was coming to rely on Shizuru, but now...
Natsuki glanced over her shoulder to see Shizuru bending down to search under her bed, finding her journal hidden there. Even in such mundane actions, Shizuru was gorgeous. A rush of warmth went through Natsuki's chest as she watched her girlfriend. Shizuru caught her eye at this moment and winked at her, causing Natsuki's cheeks to rapidly fill with a blush. Well, at least she still can make me blush... Natsuki thought with an internal chuckle as she turned back to start putting on her bra.
Her thoughts soon drifted back to their former course as she continued dressing. She was still afraid of being abandoned, she admitted to herself. It didn't seem like something Shizuru would ever do, but the small bit of fear was still there. The difference now was that it wasn't enough to stop her from admitting that she was in love. All of this... this happiness she was feeling from being with Shizuru... it was worth it. Even if Shizuru did leave her sometime... But no, Shizuru would never do that, would she?
Natsuki let out a sigh as she finished pulling her top on. Even with how fast things were developing between them, it would take some time before she could get rid of her fear completely. At least now she had someone she could talk to about all of her fears. And she would, just as soon as Shizuru had finished peering into all of the thoughts Natsuki had lain out in her journal. Now done dressing, Natsuki turned back to Shizuru, who was waiting on her bed now, the journal laying closed on her lap.
As she walked back to the bed, Natsuki tried to read Shizuru's expression. It seemed to be a mix of quite a few emotions. It seemed like Shizuru was trying to hold back a smile – or laughter perhaps? Shizuru hadn't been bothering to cover up her smiles around Natsuki lately, so laughter was a bit more likely... Wait, does she think this is funny? I was trying to be sweet and this is the response I get?
Something of her internal monologue must have shown through on Natsuki's face, as Shizuru broke out into chuckles as she watched it. Natsuki could feel her face start to burn red at this reaction, though she was relieved somewhat when Shizuru said, “Natsuki is too sweet, to blush for me without me even having to ask for it.”
Natsuki let out a growl under her breath, though she was more mad at herself than Shizuru now. Shizuru's expression from before was probably from just the same emotion as she was showing now: being flattered by Natsuki's actions. It was just Natsuki's silliness in getting worked up so easily that led Shizuru to laughter. I guess I can tolerate that type of laughter... or at least, I'll have to learn to live with it. Not like I'll ever become completely immune to her. At least I hope no- Gah! No! That's supposed to be a bad thing!
Natsuki was “saved” from her inner struggle when Shizuru jumped up from the bed to latch onto her in a hug. She only had time to let out a startled gasp before she was pulled back down to the bed. Her surprised struggles led to the two of them once more becoming tangled with each other. It only took a second for the initial surprise to pass though, and she soon found herself laughing at the situation along with Shizuru. Sadly, their faces were on opposite ends of the bed at that time, as Natsuki felt a sudden urge to kiss her girlfriend. Instead, she filed that urge away for future use, preferably at some time when she could catch Shizuru by surprise.
“Alright,” Shizuru said as she worked to untangle herself from Natsuki – feeling a few more places of her girlfriend's body than was strictly necessary, but Natsuki wasn't complaining. “So let's see what Natsuki wanted me to read...” Shizuru fished around on the floor to retrieve Natsuki's journal before she sat back up in her usual spot on Natsuki's bed.
Natsuki wondered for a bit about the best position for her to be in while Shizuru was reading. She considered just lying where she was, as she could prop her head up on an elbow to look at Shizuru, but it just didn't seem right for the moment. She was opening herself up to Shizuru here, just as Shizuru had done for her the previous night. Wait, that's it: Shizuru had it right last night. Grinning to herself, Natsuki sat up on the bed and came to a sitting position just beside and behind Shizuru. She then proceeded to wrap her arms around the girl and hold her in a tight embrace. When she'd found a good position she could stay in for some time, she said, “Okay, you can read it now, Shizuru.”
Natsuki's position allowed her to rest her head on Shizuru's shoulder and look down at her journal, so she could remind herself of just what she'd written and read along with Shizuru. This resulted in an immediate blush as she read the contents of the first page and her assumptions that if Shizuru were reading it, she'd have sneaked in to do so.
“Ara ara,” Shizuru said. She'd gone into teasing mode after reading the first couple paragraphs. “But I'm reading this with Natsuki's permission. Does this mean I don't get her special 'punishment'?”
Natsuki growled softly. “I changed my mind since I wrote that. Just keep reading unless you want me to really punish you.”
Shizuru chuckled at this. As with every time Natsuki heard her laughter, she reflected on just how beautiful and melodic it was. Scanning quickly down the page in front of her, she realized that she was bound to hear some more of it quite soon. She'd even anticipated it in her writing. Sure enough, the expected burst of laughter came quickly.
“I knew you loved my teasing, Natsuki,” Shizuru said through her laughter. “You wouldn't have let me do it for so long if you didn't.”
Natsuki sighed. “Yeah, I guess... And I guess I'm in for a lot more of it now...”
“Ara, but Natsuki likes my teasing, doesn't she?” Shizuru said. “So why should she mind getting more of it?”
“Mou... I have my limits, Shizuru. And it's really more of a love-hate relationship I have with your teasing.”
“You keep telling yourself that. It just makes it all the more fun for me.”
Sensing that she was beaten, Natsuki did all that she could think of to do. She let out a defeated whimper and buried her face into Shizuru's shoulder, instinctively trying to hide the telltale blush on her face, even though Shizuru wasn't looking at her. This action, however, prompted Shizuru to turn her head around to see what she could of Natsuki. Natsuki felt Shizuru give her a quick kiss on the forehead, and it seemed to make her whole body immediately relax. She let out a soft moan into Shizuru's shoulder now.
Shizuru took this as her cue that it was alright to continue reading. Natsuki peeked up to scan this page, and she was relieved to see that there wasn't anything too embarrassing there. There was a mention of how she felt about seeing Shizuru in biker leathers, but she'd already shown that reaction when they were out shopping and embarrassed herself so much that she'd pretty much burned out on anymore potential embarrassment there.
“Natsuki really should take me riding again sometime,” Shizuru said. Natsuki gave a grunt of assent. She'd only had the chance to take Shizuru out twice so far: Taking her back to her house on the night she'd admitted that she might be able to feel more for Shizuru, and their fun ride just a few days ago. The latter had been much more enjoyable, as they were officially a couple then, and it just made Natsuki desire to do it more. “That'll give me the perfect chance to try out my new leathers and see if Natsuki's resistance to them has improved any.”
Natsuki growled again at this comment, but she was quickly cut off when Shizuru quickly turned to give her another peck on the forehead. A light blush formed in her cheeks at this action, but this one she didn't really mind. She let out a light chuckle and said, “Are you going to do that after every page?”
“Would Natsuki like me to?”
Even though letting Shizuru do that to her felt kind of embarrassing and silly, Natsuki's first instinct was to say “Yes.” She couldn't say that, of course, and so she grumbled into Shizuru's shoulder, “Just read.” Shizuru could pick up the hint.
The acknowledgment that she actually wanted Shizuru to treat her like that brought another realization to Natsuki's mind: She was starting to feel and act more girlish with Shizuru. She'd long associated femininity with weakness, and she'd tried to butch herself up in her mannerisms to make sure no one ever called her “girlish.” Most boys – with one annoying exception – soon learned to respect her and not just treat her as a sex object or a feast for their eyes. She did allow herself the one feminine indulgence of her lingerie collection, though. Buying them had turned into a hobby for her, and it allowed her to relieve some of the stress she'd built up in that rough period, though she still swore never to wear any of them. Time – and Shizuru – saw her changing her mind about that, though. She'd tried to keep the collection a secret, but of course Shizuru still managed to find out about it. The things she'd do for mayonnaise...
Back then, she'd bought into the cultural stereotype that women were the weaker sex, and she sought to subvert it. This conception was completely destroyed, though, when she observed the strength of all the other HiME. One in particular stood out, though. Shizuru was easily one of the strongest HiME, and yet she did everything without sacrificing an ounce of her femininity. It was her love that made her strong, and that had forced Natsuki to realize her own affection for the girl to match her in strength and save her from herself. Showing her emotions freely was one of the many things she'd considered too feminine to do, but she'd done that for Shizuru. That and so many other things...
Shizuru let out a gasp, breaking Natsuki from her thoughts. “Natsuki didn't really need my help with geometry?” Shizuru said, using her play-hurt tone of voice.
Oh, right, that... I guess she really didn't figure that out... Natsuki thought.
“And with all the work I put in for her, coming up with all those problems, making nice problem sheets for her, and then designing a game to make things interesting... Natsuki would...” Shizuru gave an exaggerated sniff, “take advantage of me...”
Damn... Natsuki knew that Shizuru was playing up the hurt, but she'd hit on a real strain of guilt in Natsuki. She'd felt bad about deceiving Shizuru for a while now. Although she was a bit relieved that it was out in the open now, she knew that she'd have to make up for it somehow before she could feel better. “Sorry Shizuru...” she said. “You can tell I feel guilty from reading that, right? I'll make it up to you if I can...”
“Good!” Shizuru said, her mood immediately lifting. “Then Natsuki can play me in another game – one which she isn't guaranteed to win and doesn't have a safety net for if she does lose.”
Natsuki cringed and blushed at the thought of being at Shizuru's mercy in another such game. It wasn't that it would be bad... just embarrassing. But, she did need to make things up to Shizuru. She let out a sigh and said, “Fine... just, let's do it later, okay?”
Natsuki felt Shizuru's lips on her forehead before she'd even realized that the girl was turning her head. She couldn't help but let out a smile at the action, but she quickly suppressed it. “Thank you,” Shizuru said. One of her hands came up off of Natsuki's journal to grasp Natsuki's hand, and she gave it a quick, loving squeeze, resulting in another quickly suppressed smile from Natsuki.
As Shizuru turned the page in the journal, Natsuki glanced down to remind herself what she'd written there. A small wave of panic hit Natsuki as she realized that this page was where she first mentioned her nightmares of being tied up. This was the important part for Shizuru to read, though it was also the most embarrassing. But Natsuki had to be able to share this kind of thing with Shizuru. They'd promised to be completely open with each other, and this was the most important part of openness.
That didn't mean she wasn't still nervous, of course. In fact, her nervousness spurred Natsuki to step ahead with her plans a little, just so she could be sure Shizuru would take this seriously. “Wait, Shizuru,” she said. She unwrapped herself from the girl and moved off to the side, towards the head of her bed. Shizuru glanced at her questioningly, and she returned the look with a nervous smile.
Not sure of any words that would help at the moment and trusting Shizuru to simply be patient, Natsuki turned away and opened up the drawer of her nightstand. Inside were laid out four small pieces of paper, the coupons Shizuru had given her a couple weeks ago. Their purpose was to help Shizuru relieve her guilt of the times she'd taken advantage of Natsuki in the past by giving Natsuki the opportunity to request large favors of her. Natsuki had used the first one to get Shizuru to allow her to take charge the night she admitted her feelings. It had given her the courage she needed, not having to worry about being overwhelmed by what Shizuru might do to her after her admission.
The coupon had soon been forgotten about that night, but Natsuki had found it on the floor beside her bed the next day, a bit crumpled up. In a rare sentimental moment, she decided to keep it as a reminder of their first night as a couple and their first time making love. She'd written on the back of it, “Shizuru giving herself to me,” and she'd put it back in with the other, unused coupons. When she'd used up all four, she could keep them all as evidence that Shizuru had completely made things up to her, with each past betrayal matched by a special moment between the two of them.
Natsuki knew that Shizuru wouldn't be satisfied unless her favors were suitably large, and so, although there were tons of little things she could have asked for, she held out for big favors to use the coupons on. It was time now to ask for another big favor, even though it wouldn't entail any major action immediately. For now, she just wanted Shizuru to know what she intended with this, and to make sure the girl took this seriously. The last thing she needed was Shizuru laughing at her fears and calling them “cute” or something.
Searching through the coupons briefly, Natsuki found the one that had “Shizuru helping me through my fears” written on the back of it. She removed it from the drawer and closed it as she turned back to Shizuru, who was waiting patiently and curiously. When she spotted the coupon in Natsuki's hand, she raised an eyebrow and a smile crossed her face. Natsuki wondered if she was perhaps thinking about what she'd done with the last coupon and if this time would be as enjoyable. Natsuki certainly hoped they'd be able to make this enjoyable, but she knew that it would take some work.
“Alright, er... here, Shizuru,” Natsuki said, trying to fumble for the right words as she handed the coupon to her lover. This just wasn't making much sense without Shizuru having read the entry, and she really didn't know what to say. “Just, read it, I guess.” Natsuki felt that telltale warmth forming in her cheeks which told her that she'd brought herself to blushing from her nervousness and awkwardness. Although she was sure Shizuru noticed – when did she not? – she refrained from commenting. This realization brought relief to Natsuki, as it proved that Shizuru was taking things seriously now.
Shizuru gave Natsuki a brief quizzical look and then glanced down at the coupon. Seeing only her own writing on the top side, she flipped it over to read what Natsuki had written on the back. Her brow furrowed a bit with concern at what was written there. “Natsuki is scared?” she said questioningly.
“Er, well...” Natsuki said. It wasn't that she was presently scared. It was, well... “I think... just read the journal. That should explain it.”
“Alright,” Shizuru said. She nodded her head slowly. “There's just one thing first...”
Natsuki quirked an eyebrow. “What is- ah!” Natsuki was cut off in the middle of her sentence by Shizuru lunging towards her – which really should have been impossible, given the position she'd been in and the speed with which she'd done it, but this was Shizuru, after all – and catching Natsuki in her arms. Natsuki soon found herself dragged back to where Shizuru had been sitting, relaxing a bit as she realized Shizuru's intentions.
“Natsuki needed a hug,” Shizuru said simply. She squeezed Natsuki in her arms. The journal was still in her hands, and Natsuki could feel it against her back, but it wasn't getting uncomfortable. At this point, it was probably impossible for her to feel uncomfortable in one of Shizuru's hugs, no matter what she might be holding.
Natsuki couldn't help herself; she let out a laugh at her girlfriend's behavior. That move from Shizuru was just what she needed to dissolve her built-up tension. Allowing herself to relax, Natsuki wrapped her arms around Shizuru and returned the hug. “Thanks, Shizuru.”
After a few more moments holding the hug, Shizuru pulled back from it. As she did so, though, she tucked her head into Natsuki's neck and dragged her lips gently across the base of her neck. The sudden sensual act sent a wave of sweet warmth through Natsuki's body and her breath caught in her throat. Sadly, this was followed by Shizuru moving away from her and back to where she'd been sitting previously, leaving Natsuki suddenly aroused but abandoned. She let her breath out between clenched teeth and whispered, “Damn you, Shizuru...”
Shizuru didn't respond to this. She simply raised a eyebrow and gave a small, victorious smile as she turned away from Natsuki and back to the journal. She opened it up to the page she'd been at previously and started to read. A bit peeved at her girlfriend playing that trick on her, Natsuki tried to formulate a plan to get her back in kind. Deciding that simpler was better, she returned to the spot she'd previously occupied, hugging Shizuru from behind. Only this time, instead of resting her head on Shizuru's shoulder and reading along with her, Natsuki buried her face into the crook of Shizuru's neck.
As Shizuru read through this entry, Natsuki slowly started to kiss around her neck. She worked as gently and sweetly as she could, making love to Shizuru's neck with her mouth – for she did love it, oh so much... It tasted so sweet, and it was such a tender part of the woman she loved. The fact that her kisses made her beloved feel pleasure made the act all the more precious. In fact, Natsuki soon gave up on her plans of suddenly disappearing from Shizuru to get back at her. Simply keeping this up was better for the both of them. She could justify that her revenge was in expecting Shizuru to try to read as she was doing this, if she felt the need to justify it to herself later. There was just no way she could bring herself to stop kissing Shizuru now.
“Ikezu...” Shizuru eventually said, almost in a pant. “I'm supposed to be reading here, you know...”
Natsuki paused a moment to say, “You started it.” She brought out her teeth to nibble a bit on Shizuru's neck now, eliciting a whimper from the girl. She smiled and continued, “But if the mighty Shizuru-kaichou-sama will admit to letting something so little as this distract all of her attention, I guess I could give you a break.” That being said, Natsuki went back to doing the best she could to distract Shizuru. She could feel victory at hand.
“If... maybe...” Shizuru got out through her ragged breathing, “Natsuki could just slow down a bit... It's quite nice, but Natsuki is also quite distracting...”
Victory. Natsuki smiled to herself. To confirm, she backed off and glanced at what she could see of Shizuru's cheek. To her delight, it was bright red now. Grinning in accomplishment, she went back to nuzzling her face into Shizuru's neck. She kept up the attention to it, but she was gentle and slow enough that it wouldn't distract Shizuru too much.
Natsuki must have lost track of time, though it was quite easy with what she was currently doing. She was suddenly caught off-guard by the sound of Shizuru slamming her journal shut. She turned her head up, wondering if Shizuru had already gone through the rest of her entries, but she didn't get a chance to check. As soon as her lips were cleared from Shizuru's neck, they were caught by the girl's own.
Shizuru pushed Natsuki down onto her back, and her hands grasped the girl's shoulders to keep her pinned down. With Natsuki at her mercy, the kissing was frantic and unrestrained. Natsuki briefly wondered what had overtaken Shizuru, but the kisses were starting to make her feel so good that she didn't really care. She could feel a burning heat rising in her chest, and she wondered if Shizuru were feeling the same thing, or possibly even more. A feeling like that could certainly lead her to assaulting Natsuki this way.
Natsuki soon realized that Shizuru was sobbing openly into the kisses. It didn't seem possible that anything could be wrong now, especially when she was displaying such passion, so Natsuki wasn't going to worry. It was becoming too hard for her to think straight now, anyways. She just brought her arms up to wrap around the girl and hold her in as she returned as many of the kisses as she could.
As soon as her arms crossed Shizuru's back, Natsuki felt a stream of tears start to fall down from the girl's face. “Na-tsukiii...” Shizuru cried out between kisses. “Love... you... too...” Shizuru dropped down to Natsuki's neck and started kissing it fiercely, even more so than Natsuki had done previously.
The sensations were a bit painful at first for Natsuki, but she was in such a state that even the pain brought her pleasure. She let out a short moan and started panting from Shizuru's sweet kisses. Her body had started to fill with a delightful warmth, and she allowed her eyes to drift closed as she crossed into a world of pleasure. “Shizuru...” she whispered out.
Shizuru whimpered, perhaps in response to the sound of her name passing through Natsuki's lips. Finding herself at Natsuki's collar now, she quickly kissed her way back up her neck and to her face. “Thank you...” Shizuru bent in to kiss Natsuki's lips. Natsuki could feel her lover's lips trembling in the kiss. After she separated, Shizuru brought a hand up to gently brush against Natsuki's cheek and said, “Thank you so much, Natsuki...”
Natsuki's eyes fluttered open to gaze at Shizuru's face. The sight took her breath away. Shizuru's eyes were filled with tears, and Natsuki could see trails of moisture running down her face. Shizuru mouth was gently trembling, and she couldn't help letting out a few sobs. Natsuki could tell, though, from the sparkle in her eyes, that all of this was simply from an outpouring of joy. Shizuru was happier than she could handle now, and all Natsuki wanted was to share it with her. She wasn't going to think too much on what the specific reasons for it were – that always just led her into trouble – she was just going to accept it.
Perhaps Shizuru saw something in Natsuki's eyes now, as she couldn't maintain her position any longer. Her face shot forwards once more to capture Natsuki's lips in a passionate kiss. There was something almost possessive about the kiss; Natsuki felt almost as if Shizuru were trying to stake a claim on her, to mark her as her own. But she'd already given herself to Shizuru, so that wasn't really necessary, was it? Maybe she just needed a reminder...
From there, things rapidly became more heated. Natsuki was surprised – but not put off – when she felt Shizuru's hands grasping at the hem of her shirt. Shizuru quickly pulled it up and over Natsuki's head, forcing the girl to temporarily release her arms from her hug around Shizuru. Shizuru didn't waste a second after tossing the shirt away before her hand had reached around Natsuki's back to unclasp her bra. She quickly pulled it off of Natsuki's chest and dove right back in to continue their kiss.
Natsuki was caught off guard by the way things were proceeding, but she found that she was making no move to resist Shizuru. There was no embarrassment about Shizuru seeing – and now feeling – her topless. She didn't even care about how they'd been distracted from... whatever... to do this. All she knew was that her girlfriend, her lover, desperately needed this now, and her body had already surrendered itself to her.
“My Natsuki...” Shizuru said into the kiss. “My... mine... really...” A large sob burst forth from Shizuru, and Natsuki could feel a wave of tears dripping down onto her face. She fell down on Natsuki, her lips meeting the other girl's without the energy to move them. They simply trembled as Natsuki tried to kiss back as best as she could.
Natsuki still wasn't sure what had gotten into her girlfriend and why she was so emotional all of a sudden, but that didn't matter. Her heart had started to ache with need at the outpouring of love from Shizuru. She wanted to help Shizuru handle it as best as she could, and right now there was only one thing she could think of to do. She gently held the back of Shizuru's head with her hands and moved it back so she could look into her eyes.
It was if Natsuki was peering directly into Shizuru's soul. She seemed to have dropped all of her barriers now – or perhaps Natsuki's behavior had torn them down – and Natsuki could see all the love she had within her, which was now bringing her more joy than she could handle. Had Shizuru been holding all of that back, even since their relationship had begun?
No... “Really,” she said. Did she not believe it was real until now? But what's changed? Focusing on Shizuru's face once more, Natsuki decided that why didn't matter right now. The rush of heat building in her chest made it quite clear to her that all that mattered was letting Shizuru have what she wanted right now.
“Really, Shizuru,” Natsuki said. She looked directly into Shizuru's eyes and gave her the expression she'd asked her to memorize just an hour ago. “I'm really yours, Shizuru, and I'm really in love with you.”
Shizuru let out a small, joyful whimper as she looked down on Natsuki, and another wave of tears broke free from her eyes. Natsuki was worried she hadn't quite caught the look, but a wave of determination soon overtook Shizuru's features, and Natsuki watched as a fire was lit within her eyes. Shizuru then leaned back down to capture Natsuki in a forceful, confident kiss. Natsuki returned it with all of her own passion, but she allowed Shizuru to set the pace. Shizuru needed to be in charge now, to show her love, and Natsuki had no problem with submitting to her.
Shizuru suddenly disappeared from the kiss, though not without making her intentions obvious. Natsuki felt Shizuru's hands grasping at her pants, and then they were off, along with her panties, almost before she'd realized what Shizuru was up to. She looked up to see that Shizuru was now standing at the side of the bed, quickly disrobing herself as well. Natsuki took this small chance to adjust herself on the bed so she could rest her head on the pillow and she didn't have to hang her legs off the side.
Natsuki let out a sharp yelp when Shizuru literally pounced on her, jumping straight from her spot on the floor to land on top of Natsuki. She didn't have a chance to complain, though, as Shizuru quickly caught her lips in another kiss that quite clearly told her to just shut up and enjoy the ride. The feeling of Shizuru's soft lips against her own made Natsuki quickly decide that this was a promising course of action, and so she allowed herself to return the kiss to Shizuru.
Finally free of any thoughts that might distract her, Natsuki allowed herself to be absorbed into the kiss. Despite how forceful and dominating Shizuru was being, her kiss was perfectly gentle and sweet. Her lips moved slowly against Natsuki's, enveloping each of them in turn and sucking lovingly on each. Shizuru even brought her teeth out to nibble gently on Natsuki's lips. This particular act caused a surge of pleasurable warmth to pass through Natsuki – it was a possessive gesture, which was just what Shizuru needed to show right now, and yet it was also loving in how gentle and careful Shizuru was being with her teeth.
A moan broke free from Natsuki's throat before she'd realized it was forming, landing inside Shizuru's mouth. Shizuru giggled slightly, backing only a fraction of an inch away from the kiss to do so. Her mouth then drifted over and down to Natsuki's hear. In a lustful, confident whisper, Shizuru said, “You're mine.”
The reaction of Natsuki's body was immediate. Every muscle of hers seemed to tense up in anticipation of Shizuru's touch, and a wave of heat spread through her body. Her breasts started to ache with need for Shizuru's hands to come and massage them, and she felt even more need building a bit lower. The simple thought of being Shizuru's seemed to send her into a lustful haze. To make things worse, the realization that this was a kink of hers only caused a wave of embarrassment to hit her – which didn't go unnoticed by Shizuru, judging by her grin – and this embarrassment at Shizuru's hands only served to further her aroused state from being at her lover's mercy.
After speaking the two words that made Natsuki submit completely – and a bit embarrassingly – to her, Shizuru had raised her head back up to observe her reaction. She was obviously quite pleased with it, but she wasn't making any move to continue with things. Her silent gaze somehow made Natsuki itch for her touch even more, and eventually she just couldn't control herself any longer. She needed Shizuru now, and if Shizuru wasn't going to give her what she needed, then she'd just have to take it.
Natsuki briefly considered satisfying her needs by her own hands, but she knew that wouldn't work. She'd never been a very sexual person until Shizuru had opened her sexuality up within her, and it was now so intertwined with the thought of Shizuru that it just seemed to be a contradiction in terms for Natsuki to ever be able to satisfy herself. How could she make love to herself after all? She needed Shizuru to love her.
And so, to accomplish this, Natsuki grabbed one of Shizuru's hands, which was resting tauntingly by her side, and she brought it to her breast, hoping that Shizuru would get the hint and she could rid herself of some of the burning need that was still building up. Unfortunately, Shizuru didn't react as Natsuki had hoped. In fact, she seemed to be put off by Natsuki's actions. She quickly turned her hand around to grab Natsuki's wrist and pull it away from her breast. Her other hand soon found Natsuki's other wrist and held it securely as well, while Shizuru looked down disapprovingly at Natsuki.
Natsuki looked up at Shizuru incredulously. This wasn't the way she was supposed to react. Shizuru was supposed to think it was cute how Natsuki was asking for her touch and perhaps even tease her about it, but of course she'd acquiesce. Why would Shizuru deny her?
Natsuki's answer came when she gazed into Shizuru's eyes. The girl's mask had been completely dropped not long ago, and she had yet to rebuild it – if she was even planning to today – and so Natsuki could see that she really did think that her attempts to receive her touch were adorable; she just had something else in mind. Reminding herself that she was supposed to be allowing Shizuru to be in control now, Natsuki resolved to trust her lover.
This resolution of submission caused another wave of warmth to shoot through Natsuki's body. At this point, her breasts were practically burning with need. The simple absence of Shizuru's touch was driving her wild. She felt as if she were being constantly teased, and, as much it embarrassed her to admit it, she was getting turned on by it. She just needed, more and more, to actually receive Shizuru's touch in order to draw pleasure out of the experience, or else she'd simply explode, suffering all the frustrations of Shizuru's teasing with none of the payoff.
Natsuki looked pleadingly into Shizuru's eyes. She didn't even plan to, but she also let out a whimper of need at this moment. A flash of adoration passed through Shizuru's eyes, and she finally started to take some action of her own, but, once again, it wasn't what Natsuki was expecting. Shizuru pulled both of Natsuki's hands up above her head and brought her wrists together. She then adjusted her grip so that she could hold onto both of them with just her left hand, leaving her right free to get to work on Natsuki's body – so Natsuki hoped, at least.
“Natsuki won't be needing these,” Shizuru said. Her teasing tone was on in full force, and hearing it sent another wave of need through Natsuki. She started to kick her legs absently, trying to assuage the building need in her crotch. However, Shizuru soon noticed this, and she was quick to shift her position so one leg was placed in between Natsuki's knees, preventing her even this mild relief. Natsuki pouted at Shizuru, but she just got a click of the girl's tongue in response. “And it seems I won't even be able to trust her to keep them away, if this behavior is any indication.”
Natsuki let out a low moan and briefly tried to struggle her way out of Shizuru's grasp. She wasn't sure if the girl had her overpowered or if her heart simply wasn't in it, but the end result was that she was completely at Shizuru's mercy. She was helpless. Normally, Natsuki absolutely hated feeling helpless, but right now, when it was Shizuru who had absolute control over her, it just turned her on even more. She knew she could unquestioningly trust in Shizuru's love, and she reminded herself of this now. There was nothing to fear; she only had love coming her way.
Shizuru was silent as she watched Natsuki go through this mental debate. When Natsuki focused on Shizuru again, she saw what looked like an expression of loving pride form on her face. She was about to ask about it, but Shizuru cut in just as she was starting to talk. “Now... Natsuki is mine to do with as I please. She should just consider herself very lucky that what I want to do most right now is to feel all of her most intimate parts, and then to have her writhe and scream at my hand. For Natsuki has been quite a good girl, and I would very much like to reward her.”
Natsuki could feel herself melting as Shizuru spoke these words to her in a lustful voice. Nerves throughout her body lit on fire, every one of them crying out for Shizuru's touch, which she knew was now so close. She arched her back to try to push her breasts up towards Shizuru, the ache in them nearly unbearable by now, and she let out a pleading moan. She looked into Shizuru's eyes and put on her best “puppy” expression, hoping to work off of Shizuru's adoration for her. The prospect of being embarrassed from acting like this didn't even occur to her.
Her gambit paid off. Natsuki recognized the adoring expression on Shizuru's face quite clearly, and her tormentor started to bring a hand down to Natsuki's breast to finally relieve her of her misery. Shizuru's index finger met the tip of Natsuki's nipple, sending a quick spark of relief through it... but the hand stopped there. Natsuki let out a frustrated growl at Shizuru. What was holding her back now?
However, just as Natsuki let out this growl, Shizuru jumped into action. Her hand plunged down to quickly and fiercely grip the flesh of Natsuki's breast. At the same time, her head came down to meet Natsuki's other breast, sucking as much of it into her mouth as she could. Shizuru's left hand pulled back a bit on Natsuki's arms, bringing them in front of her head, but she was miraculously still able to keep them locked firmly in her grip.
The pleasure from Shizuru's sudden assault, which finally released all of the tension that had built up in Natsuki's breasts, was so intense that Natsuki couldn't even scream out her pleasure. Her throat had tensed up and clamped down. She could barely breathe, much less scream. She'd lost control of every muscle in her upper body; they all twitched and moved of their own accord, playing only to the tune of the waves of pleasure Shizuru was giving her.
As much as Natsuki thought that Shizuru was driving her crazy with her earlier teasing, her current treatment was doing much more to make her go insane. She couldn't tell whether she was feeling pleasure or pain anymore; she only knew that she loved it and that Shizuru was giving it to her. At the thought of Shizuru, she tried to focus on the girl, only to find that her eyes seemed to be clenched shut and weren't responding to her pleas with them.
Fortunately, Shizuru soon did make her presence known to Natsuki. She whispered into Natsuki's ear, “Please, Natsuki. I want to hear you. Scream for me.” Natsuki hadn't even noticed that Shizuru's mouth had left her breasts, as the pleasure was still working through her body, and locating the source at this point was hopeless. However, this request from her lover succeeded in breaking the lock on her vocal cords, and Natsuki suddenly found herself panting and moaning out loud at all the beautiful sensations Shizuru's hand was still bringing her.
“Shizu... Shizu-ru... ru...” Natsuki panted out as Shizuru's mouth returned to tend to her other breast. Her lover's name was the only word she could make come to her lips, but she was glad that was it. Each utterance of it sent a wave of warmth through her heart, with a reminder of just how much Shizuru loved her, and how much she loved Shizuru in turn. It was a reminder that they weren't just having sex; they were making love. But still... something was starting to feel a bit off to Natsuki, though she wasn't able to think clearly enough to place it. “Shizuru...”
Shizuru backed off of Natsuki for a moment, giving her a brief reprieve in which she could try to set her thoughts straight about what could possibly seem wrong about this. She was with Shizuru, so what could be wrong? Just thinking about Shizuru now made her want to wrap her arms around her lover and hold her close and... Oh. Natsuki's arms strained briefly against Shizuru's grip as she instinctively tried to hug the girl, but Shizuru's grasp remained strong.
Natsuki let out a frustrated moan as she failed to extricate herself from her lover's hold. It had been alright before... it was sexy, a little kinky, and did wonders with teasing her into arousal, but now... it was just cruel. Natsuki whimpered as she tugged once more at Shizuru's hand, hoping that she would get the message to free her. However, Shizuru seemed to take no notice, and Natsuki soon found out why when she felt a hand rest on her abdomen and then slide lower.
Natsuki knew just what was coming, and she felt herself spreading her legs in anticipation of Shizuru's hand. The surfaced memories of all the wonderful sensations that hand had brought her pushed away her concerns about needing to free herself for a moment. However, just as Shizuru's fingertip met the top of her folds, the sharp bolt of pleasure through Natsuki made her once more impulsively try to wrap her arms around Shizuru and hold onto her just as she let out a sharp moan.
All of Shizuru's training and fighting with her element had paid off, however, as her grip remained firm, despite Natsuki's best efforts to free herself. She suffered – though it was hard to call it that – through more sharp bolts of pleasure as Shizuru started to circle her fingers around her clit. Natsuki's legs started to jerk around of their own accord, but her right was soon stabilized by a wet warmth coming to rest on it. Somewhere deep within Natsuki's mind, she knew that it was now pressing up against Shizuru's folds, and she hoped that her spasmodic jerking of it could do something for her girlfriend, particularly as she was incapable of doing anything else to return her love, restrained as she was.
Natsuki let out a loud, frustrated grunt. This had gone on far enough. She couldn't stand not being able to embrace Shizuru any longer. Unlike before, when it had helped to turn her on more, this was only holding her back now. It was embarrassing to think that she was so dependent on being able to hug Shizuru, but Natsuki was forced to admit it to herself. And maybe if she admitted it to Shizuru as well, she'd show some mercy...
“Shizuru...” Natsuki managed to get out between pants and moans. “Need... release... marrr-ah!” Her attempt to say “my arms” was cut off when Shizuru's fingers suddenly plunged deeper along her slit, forcing her to let out a yelp of pleasure. Natsuki kept trying to clarify, but Shizuru's fingers wouldn't let up on their assault of her most sensitive spots, and every motion caused another gasp, pant, or moan from her.
“Well, if it's release Natsuki wants...” Shizuru said, and a surge of hope swelled within Natsuki that she would soon be freed. Shizuru's fingers started to move with more focus, and they paused briefly just outside Natsuki's entrance. “Then she's in luck, as I intend to push her to release right... now!”
A bundle of fingers quickly jammed into Natsuki, splitting her open in a smooth motion. However, unlike the previous intrusions of Shizuru's fingers, this one brought with it a searing pain as Natsuki could feel her hymen being torn apart to accommodate Shizuru's much larger intrusion. The pain from this tore through the girl's mind, and she couldn't help but cry out from it. She made another desperate attempt to wrap her arms around Shizuru for support, and this time, she miraculously found that Shizuru had released her. Finally free, Natsuki shot her arms forward to grab Shizuru and pull her up against her body. She dug her head into the her lover's shoulder as she wept from the pain.
Natsuki could feel Shizuru's hand, which had previously held her prisoner, now stroking her back. Shizuru's head was at her ear, whispering soothing pronouncements of love and support, with even the occasional apology. As her mind cleared up, Natsuki started to focus more on the meaning of what they'd just done. By many people's standards, Shizuru had just taken her virginity. She'd considered it already gone, personally, though at least this step meant they'd never have to worry about that particular barrier again.
Natsuki also started to worry about how she was handling herself. It was just pain, after all, and she'd had a lot of experience with that, some of it much worse. So what was different now? The answer came to her almost as soon as she asked the question: Shizuru. Shizuru made her weak. At other times, she could just push all the pain aside, but Shizuru's presence and love brought everything Natsuki tried to suppress to the surface. Fortunately, she knew that this was the only time she'd ever have to feel pain from it. Even now, the pain had faded to a dull throb, and her senses were starting to focus again on the still-aroused state of her body.
Shizuru seemed to notice as Natsuki started to move her hips, wanting to feel the motion of her lover's fingers inside her. She withdrew all but two fingers from inside Natsuki, so she didn't have to stimulate the torn hymen more than necessary, and she started working them in and out within the girl. She also leaned herself forward, so that Natsuki's back could rest again on her bed.
Shizuru started to pull back, and she brought her free hand to attempt to remove Natsuki's arms from around her, but, realizing that her girlfriend wanted to go back to restraining her, Natsuki cut her off. “No...” she said. It was a bit easier to focus now, though her body was rapidly returning to its aroused state, and she knew that she'd soon be unable to speak through her moans. “I need...” The first moan came out as Shizuru's fingers hit a sensitive spot deep inside her. “To hold you...” Her message said, Natsuki once again let herself melt into the sensations, moaning softly with each thrust of her lover's hand.
It was hard to tell through all the distractions Shizuru's hand was providing, but Natsuki thought she might have heard Shizuru let out an unconscious whimper. Or perhaps it was simply one of her own, which she heard but didn't feel. She was having trouble keeping track through the barrage of pleasure. She was completely lost once she felt Shizuru's soft lips make contact with her neck, and she had to strain to hear the words Shizuru spoke between kisses.
“If that's what Natsuki needs...” Shizuru said. Her voice was soft and filled with affection. Just hearing the tone sent a burst of warmth through Natsuki's chest. This warmth was met by the waves of pleasure Shizuru's hand was bringing her, and they played together, amplifying each other. Further words from Shizuru kept the sensual flame alive within Natsuki. “I'm so glad we're doing this, Natsuki... I'm learning so much about how you work.”
Shizuru kissed her way up to Natsuki's ear, where she continued her sweet words. The love in her tone nearly caused her voice to crack many times as she spoke. “I'm really pleased to find that you're such a sexual girl, despite the front you put on. But when it comes to me, you allow yourself to open up so much. This sexual Natsuki is only for me, and so I intend to nurture her as best as I can.”
With this promise, Shizuru shifted her position a bit. She curled her free arm in under Natsuki and held her up against her own body. This brought her face a bit closer to the girl's ear, and before talking again, she took a moment to bring her tongue out and lick deep inside it. The tender contact made Natsuki let out a high-pitched yelp, and her whole body started to shudder. Shizuru held her steady though, and she kept up the motions of her fingers inside the girl. The strokes were smooth and slow, hitting so many tender spots within Natsuki. Her state of arousal was being pushed higher and higher by Shizuru's show of love.
“I love you, Natsuki,” Shizuru whispered into her ear. Just these words made Natsuki's body shiver. Even despite the attention her body was receiving lower, her breasts once more started to ache with need. Fortunately, Shizuru squeezed her closer in their embrace, and the pressure did wonders to ease her discomfort. “And I love making love to you as well,” Shizuru continued. “So kinky and a bit rough to start off with... but in the end, it's sweetness that you need to take you all the way. It's just like you, really... Rough on the outside, but such a sweet, sweet, girl hiding within...”
Natsuki couldn't imagine being in a more perfect state than this. Her body was aflame with passion and only moments away from exploding in ecstasy, and she was entangled in an embrace with the woman of her dreams, who was currently whispering so many loving words into her ear. The pleasure within her was no longer coming and going with the thrusts of Shizuru's fingers; it was now simply building ever higher. Natsuki's body started to jerk uncontrollably underneath Shizuru's, and she could feel her vaginal muscles starting to spasm, trying to clamp down on Shizuru's fingers.
“I love you... my Natsuki.” Shizuru's fingers curled in, and she squeezed the palm of her hand up against Natsuki's clit. Natsuki's mind flashed back to a week ago, when she'd done much the same thing to push Shizuru over the edge her first time, but the thoughts were soon wiped from her mind in an explosion of pleasure.
Natsuki squeezed Shizuru as if her life depended on it, and she screamed out from the overwhelming pleasure. Her mind was overwhelmed with the simple thought of being loved by Shizuru. It was the best thing that had ever happened to her. It was her reason for living, to be with the only person who could ever love her this much, the only person who could ever get her to open herself up enough to reach moments such as these.
When Natsuki started to feel herself falling from her peak, she clutched Shizuru even more desperately for support. She became sharply aware of every point of contact between herself and her lover, but her mind was particularly drawn to the palm of Shizuru's hand, which was still held firmly against her clit. The small nub had started to feel oversensitive since she reached her peak, but the constant pressure couldn't be described as unpleasant. If anything, it was holding her up in her state of high arousal. Almost as soon as Natsuki felt herself descending, the pressure from Shizuru's hand pushed her up again. She felt a brief moment of fear that her body wouldn't be able to handle that stimulation again so soon, but there was no chance to turn back.
Natsuki let out a shriek as her climax hit for a second time. Every nerve in her body lit up with pleasure. It was too good, too perfect... doing this with Shizuru... her love... her life...
Natsuki's mind was reeling as she started to fall once more. She didn't even know if Shizuru's hand had remained where it was, but she could feel her body jerking in pleasure still, as if the girl were still thrusting her fingers into her. She was held safe though, she knew. She couldn't focus her mind enough to tell if Shizuru was holding her, but she knew that it had to be true. She tried to focus on holding Shizuru for support, but her mind was too worn out to think straight. She could only trust Shizuru to hold her as the ability to think at all slipped from her.
“Ara ara, what has Natsuki gotten herself into now?”
“Shizuru!” Natsuki said. Her arms instinctively tried to move out towards the girl, but the restraints on her wrists held them back. “I don’t know, I just woke up, and I was tied down to my bed. Could you just untie me please, Shizuru?”
“Ara, now why would I want to do that?” Shizuru said. As she approached Natsuki, she was able to catch a devious glint in her eyes. She reached Natsuki’s bed and bent over it, placing one hand on each side of her head as she moved her face down to mere inches away from Natsuki’s. “I finally have Natsuki right where I want her.”
“Heh, no-” Natsuki trailed off as she realized that she was still speaking from the script in her mind. Shaking herself out of it, she said with a stern look on her face, “Untie me, Shizuru.”
“No.” Shizuru glared back at Natsuki with an equally stern – and yet still playful – expression. Natsuki wasn't getting anywhere. Shizuru was in charge for tonight.
Although the thought of being at Shizuru's mercy did send a wave of heat through Natsuki's body, it was frustrating to be roped – literally – into this just because her girlfriend was in a kinky mood. It wasn't that she didn't feel in the mood or that she didn't think she'd enjoy it, it was that... well... It was frustrating, and it was prone to get much more frustrating before it was all over.
Letting out a frustrated growl as she tried to ignore Shizuru's fingers trailing down her chest, Natsuki made a last-ditch plea for a little mercy. “Before it's over then...” she said. She bit her lip for a second, and then swallowed her embarrassment. “Just let me hug you then, or you'll drive me crazy before you bring me to come...”
Shizuru's lips met Natsuki's for a brief moment. When Shizuru pulled back, a touched smile was on her face. “I can never refuse Natsuki when she blushes so prettily for me. Alright then, I promise.”
Natsuki smiled as she felt a fire being lit deep within her.
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