A Mai HiME Fiction: Loose Threads (part 11 of 13)

a Mai HiME fanfiction by Arca Jeth

Back to Part 10
Kuga Natsuki returned to the dorm laden with take-out bags. From them 
came the spicy aroma of Armenian foods. The proprietors, an 
elderly couple, were friends of hers and insisted she take a 
double portion of the house special. 

Natsuki managed to push open the door only to find the room in 
darkness. 

"Mai!" Natsuki called out, dropping her parcels on the table. 

A low whimper was her only answer. Rounding the bed, the older girl 
found Mai huddled against the wall, her arms wrapped around her 
knees. The younger girl sat rocking gently, muttering to herself. 
Her strawberry-blonde hair had fallen into her eyes. On the floor 
before her lay Natsuki's open cell phone.

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Nao usually skipped morning Mass preferring to sleep in. However 
Father Callahan, the new priest, was a stickler for punctuality. He 
was young and this was his first parish. Nao secretly wondered if the 
Diocese had gone mad giving this poor fellow Fuuka Gakuen as his 
first assignment.

As the Father was saying goodbye to the devout, Nao yawned and 
slinked out, hoping for a pre-class nap in the rectory. Intending to 
curl up in Father Callahan's comfy desk chair, she was surprised to 
see a familiar figure. 

"It's rare to see you outside the basement, Miyu" Nao said.

The figure turned from where she'd been arranging books. "Good 
morning, Yuuki Nao. It's been six days since I've encountered you 
last." The android, Miyu regarded her with startling, red eyes. 

"It's been that long?" Nao queried as she climbed into the chair. 
The old leather was truly most comfortable. "Alyssa-chan keeping you 
up nights?"

"Ojou-sama's condition keeps her in constant pain though she tries 
to hide it from me," Miyu replied. "She has grown another three 
centimeters in the last week."

The "condition" Miyu spoke of was a consequence of Alyssa Searrs' 
unnatural birth. It had taken years to develop an artificial HiME 
who could survive using her power. The Searrs Foundation found that 
limiting Alyssa's growth was a good trade-off for more power. 
However, now that she'd lost that power her growth had accelerated, 
her body catching up with her intellect. The resulting pain kept 
Alyssa in bed most days with Miyu dutifully attending her.

"Miyu," Nao began. "You love Alyssa-chan, right?" 

The android stared at her a moment as she seemed to process the 
question.

"I have feelings for Ojou-sama," she said thoughtfully. "I aim to 
keep her safe from all harm, to make sure her life is enjoyable and 
comfortable. That could be what humans refer to as love."

"But how does she make *Miyu* feel?" Nao pressed.

"Ojou-sama is...Ojou-sama is..." Miyu uncharacteristically hesitated. 
"Ojou-sama is most precious to me."

Though her expression was blank as ever, Nao imagined that android's 
pale cheeks had turned bright pink for a moment. *Can robots even 
DO that?* she thought.

"You'd do anything for her," Nao said.

Miyu nodded as she completed her task. 

"Even if what you did might hurt her initially?"

Miyu, taken aback for once, glared at her red-haired counterpart. 
"My function is to *protect* Ojou-sama. not to hurt her." she said 
coldly. "What is the use of this question?"

Nao took a deep breath and plunged forward. "If Alyssa-chan took a 
self-destructive path and wouldn't listen to reason, and if it was 
to save her from a painful fate; would you go against her wishes?"

The android seemed to consider this and didn't speak for a long 
moment.

"Analysis complete. You are attempting to use me to gain insight 
into your relationship with one Minagi Mikoto."

"I guess I couldn't hide that from you," Nao replied, chagrined.

"Both of my eyes are functional, Yuuki Nao."

"But you didn't answer my question, Miyu," Nao reminded her. "What 
would you do?"

"I would first exhaust every other means at my disposal," Miyu said.

"And if that didn't work?" Nao prompted.

For a moment, Miyu's face clouded with a troubled expression. "For 
Ojou-sama...For Ojou-sama...I would do anything to protect her. Even 
if it costs me our relationship. Even if it costs me my life."

Nao wasn't surprised by the sentiment. In fact she looked relieved; 
as if she'd just been given permission.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of birdsongs awakened her. The high-pitched cries the small 
animals were amplified by the wind here. Yes, she'd spent the night 
here on this hillock. It had seemed all right since it was a warm 
evening and Minagi Mikoto hadn't wanted to go home. Mai was at home.

Yet, now she was chilled to the bone. A fine blanket of morning dew 
had soaked her uniform through, pasting it to her skin. What had once 
been a lovely place where she could escape and, for a time, pretend 
that she was happy, was now damp and miserable. Much like her life.

The small girl's side ached where she'd lain on a stone; a mild 
throbbing which seemed to be timed with the beating of her heart. 
Her traitorous heart. Strange that a member of her own body could 
cause so much harm. 

Mikoto cracked open an eyelid, cringing at the glare of the newly-
risen sun. 

"A new day," she whispered. The sound of her own voice was alien to 
her, devoid of its usual strength and cheer. Where had it gone? 

"To the same place Mai's smile went," Mikoto answered herself. 
Mai wasn’t herself either. Even though outwardly, she kept smiling 
to the world, Mikoto knew it was only a front. Mai's smile was thin 
and brittle at the edges. She was holding herself together with 
tremendous effort so that no one would worry.

"Because Mai is kind," Mikoto said. "Mai is...kind..."

Was that it? Was Mai just being kind that time? The night it first 
happened Mikoto had been so excited she was bursting at the seams. 
The next morning she wasted no time in telling her classmate, Yuuki 
Nao the news. 

Nao didn't share her excitement. She only delivered a warning about 
expecting too much from love. At the time, Mikoto thought Nao a 
pessimist or jealous of her new-found love. But, she was only trying 
to be kind. That night, when Mikoto found Mai and Yuuichi together; 
was that another sort of kindness?

Was Mai only trying to spare her feelings? It may have been Mai's 
mistake to kiss her like that, but Mikoto had been the one to blow 
it out of proportion. A small act of kindness on Mai's part and the 
feral girl had taken it as a confession of love. Once again, she'd 
let her expectations get ahead of reality and had hurt Mai.

But, if she could fix things...If she let Mai know that it was just 
a stupid mistake and she understood Mai's feelings weren't for her, 
then things might go back to normal. Mai would smile for her again.

Mikoto's heart leapt at the thought, as did the rest of her body. 
She began to run. 

She'd been so selfish to think only of her own happiness. Mai was 
the important one. As long as Mai was happy...as long as Mai was 
smiling...All would be right with the world. As she charged toward 
the dormitory, the beginnings of a true smile formed on Mikoto's lips.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The smell of frying eggs awoke Kuga Natsuki. As she looked blearily 
around trying to get her bearings, she looked down and realized she'd 
slept in her now badly-rumpled uniform. "That's right, I'm still in 
Tokiha's room," she recalled. Fumbling around for a bit she managed 
to re-fasten her bra, which she'd released during the night. 

The sound of humming caught her attention and she looked to the 
kitchenette to find Mai, wearing an apron over a fresh uniform, 
bustling about. 

"Mai," Natsuki called.

The strawberry-blonde girl turned slightly, careful not to take 
here eyes off the stove. "Oh you're awake! I thought I'd leave you 
alone for awhile since you were sleeping so peacefully," she said 
cheerfully.

Hopping out of the bed, Natsuki was stunned. Was this the same girl 
whom she found nearly catatonic last night? Was she the same one 
who'd clung to her and wept until she fell into an exhausted slumber?

"Mai, about last night-"

"I hope you don't mind a western-style omelet for breakfast," Mai 
continued without missing a beat. "We're missing some stuff since I 
haven't gone shopping yet."

The older girl gritted her teeth and approached Mai. "Look, we need 
to talk about what Mikoto did-" 

"And speaking of her," Mai raced on, "When I was making her lunch I 
had a bit left over so I took the liberty of making you one as well. 
Is bacon-wrapped asparagus okay?" Mai offered her a neatly prepared 
bento.

Natsuki slapped it from her hand, the contents crashed to the floor, 
scattering on the tiles. She felt ashamed for losing her temper 
like that. But Mai was finally looking at her now instead of through 
her. That happy, slightly manic smile was gone. Instead she 
appeared...perplexed. 

"You didn't have to do that," she said quietly. "If you don't like 
it I can make you something else." She reached for a broom to sweep 
up the mess.  "I'm really confident in my cooking skills-" Her 
monologue was cut short as Natsuki seized her arm and spun her around.

"No!" Natsuki exclaimed. "Stop running away."

"I'm NOT running away, I'm making breakfast!" Mai screamed, her cheerful 
facade falling and dashing to shards. "When I cook, everything is right 
where it's supposed to be and it always comes out right because I follow 
the recipe. And the recipe...never...CHANGES!"

Finally, she broke into tears. her rigid body wilted and Natsuki 
caught her.

"It's because of me, isn't it?" Mai managed between great, racking 
sobs. "She's with Nao because of what I did." 

"Mai, I can't tell you that."

"You know it's true! You saw her face in that video. She can't stand
Nao but she lets her...let's her..."

"Don't do this to yourself," Natsuki tried to calm her, the girl was 
shaking now.

"You see I knew about Mikoto," she said. "In the back of my mind I 
always knew. The way she always clung to me and said she loved me 
right in front of everyone. At first I thought it was just a kid's 
game for her. A little crush for Mikoto-chan." She laughed bitterly.

"But inside, in a place I didn't want to admit existed, I knew she 
was serious. Lately I've noticed her staring at me. That look of 
adoration she has for me has something else too. Something like 
longing. I guess I blocked it out mentally, because I didn't want 
to see it. Like when we're taking our baths together. She started 
getting really self-conscious about me washing her back. I dismissed 
it as Mikoto growing more mature. I wouldn't LET myself think she 
was self-conscious because she had feelings for me. Because she 
wanted me."

As the revelations kept coming, pieces of the puzzle fell into 
place for Natsuki. So, Mai recognized Mikoto's feelings. So why 
work so hard to dissuade the younger girl's romantic ambitions? 
Was it really such a terrible thing to be loved by someone like 
Mikoto?

"You understand Mikoto's feelings for you are more than just 
friendship," Natsuki said. "You even say you wanted to be with her 
too. But at the same time you say that Tate-kun is the one you love, 
the one you *have* to love. If your feelings for Tate-kun are real 
then why couldn't you just let Mikoto go?  Why did you try to make 
her leave on her own?"

"After everything that happened during the HiME Festival, I tried 
to put my life back together," Mai said. "I realized many things 
in that time. Love is a fickle thing. I found out that Takumi wasn't 
the only important person in my life. I found out I had feelings 
for Yuuichi and I thought it was wrong to care for someone more than 
my brother. I thought I was a terrible person for my heart to change 
like that. 

"After it all ended I found out that it was okay to be close to 
people and let them in. Takumi was getting a healthy body and had 
Akira-kun with him. I'd accepted the fact that I wasn't the only 
one in his life anymore. Besides I had Yuuichi and everything was 
fine. Everything but one, small detail."

"Mikoto," Natsuki supplied.

"Yes," Mai said, her amethyst eyes were red from crying. "I'd 
ignored the fact that even after Takumi and Yuuichi disappeared, 
I still had my power. I even told the Obsidian Lord that that power 
came from my remembered feelings for them. Somehow I'd even convinced 
myself of that. But Mikoto was still alive. 

"I honestly wanted to find out the truth about her. I wanted to 
rescue her from her brother who had twisted her with his version 
of love. It never occurred to me that *she* was my strength, that 
my feelings for her gave me determination to fight. When it was all 
over, I just tried to get on with living a normal life. A normal 
girl doesn't have strange powers, or make elements appear out 
of nothing, or summon a Child to fight." 

Mai dropped her gaze and stared at her feet, her hair falling 
limply into her eyes. 

"A normal girl doesn't have those kinds of feelings for her roommate."

"Normal..." Natsuki intoned. "So, does that make me and Shizuru abnormal?"

"No!" Mai said quickly. "I don't see you that way. It's just...not 
the life I want. It's not the life I need. Mikoto is wonderful and 
I care about her. But there can't be anything like that between us. 
I just can't allow myself to love her that way."

Natsuki regarded her with cold, emerald eyes. "Don't you think you're 
being-" 

She was cut off by the sound of a choked sob. Both girls spun to find 
a bedraggled and sodden Minagi Mikoto standing in the room's doorway. 

Her mouth hung agape as if human speech had failed her. Her arms were 
outstretched, reaching toward Mai in a pleading gesture. 

Natsuki made a step towards her but she was much too slow.

Mikoto ran.

Onwards to Part 12


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