Rakka and Reki
*Wake up, little one,* the voice says.
She wakes up to clearly see another girl in her late teens, with
the long, wispy black hair hanging around their sides and wearing a jean
jacket and skirt. The girl smiles and holds the hand of the young girl
who was previously dreaming.
"Welcome to Old Home," she said, "My name is Reki. How are you
feeling?"
"Old home?" The girl asked, almost stunned after hearing her own
voice for the first time.
She says nothing more at first; she only stares in wonder at the
beautiful girl in front of her that identified herself as Reki. Although
she barely noticed that her mind was slightly dizzy, it diminishes as
she comes to complete focus of her surroundings. For a brief moment she
looks away from Reki, and finds herself in a worn-looking room with a
bed on one side and a table on the other. She soon realizes that she is
lying down in a bed herself, and Reki is pulled up in a chair next to
her, her smile never leaving her.
Upon further inspection, she discovers that Reki is far from a
normal human being. A couple inches above her head she dons a golden
halo, and on her back little wings can be seen. Although the girl does
not know what to make of it, she is still soothed by the angelic being's
warm aura.
"I know that you're probably confused about where you are, or who
you are maybe," Reki continued, still smiling, "Or what I am, even. But
I came here the same way you did, and so did the friends of mine that
live here in Old Home. We'll help you out any way we can, and make you
feel welcome."
The girl processes Reki's voice for the first time, and she slowly
looks at her again. The girl still does not know what else to make of
Reki by her face, as beautiful as it is. But through her eyes, the girl
can see kindness, inviting warmth. She can also sense inquisitiveness
and respect, almost like she has had a life where she had seen and
learned much. Perhaps she can also find wisdom?
She attempts to speak. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm-" She
suddenly realizes that she does not recall who she is.
She must have an apparent expression on her face, because Reki
takes notice. "It's alright. Nobody here really remembers their names,
or who they were. But it'll be alright, you'll get a new name soon. How
are you feeling?"
"Fine, I think," she said, "What is this place?"
"You'll find out and understand everything soon enough. Mind if I
smoke?"
The girl is taken aback at first. Here she was meeting an angelic
person, who is now asking to smoke a cigarette. After a moment's
hesitation, she just says, "Sure."
Reki lights a cigarette and takes a big whiff. She looks again at
the little girl in the bed, who just continues staring at her. She
smiles, asking, "Am I really that strange-looking?"
"No," the girl heard herself say, "You're just so beautiful."
Reki pauses in her smoking, giving an inquiring peer at the girl.
The latter wonders if she said something wrong, but Reki just smiles and
says nothing more.
Soon afterwards the girl goes through the painful, almost
nightmarish process of sprouting wings from her back. Reki looks after
her, comforts her, and cleans her long after it is over. Soon all the
other members of 'Old Home' come into the room to greet her. She thought
two of them were boys, but then discovers that they are girls close to
her age. The two just happen to wear pants instead of skirts and have
short hair.
She learned their names one by one and discovered that there is a
meaning behind them. Just like her, they all experienced dreams where
they underwent an activity or witnessed an object of some kind, and
their names correspond to it. There was Reki, which means 'pebble.' All
she remembers is being on a road carved with pebbles, simply enough. The
youngest girl, one of the tomboys, is named Kuu, because she was flying
through the air. The older tomboy's name, Kana, means 'river fish.' The
blonde-haired girl in glasses is named Hikari because her dream was
dominated by light, and Nemu is named as such because she was sleeping
in her own dream. They then ask the girl about her dream, and she
relates that she remembers only falling from the sky. It is a unanimous
vote to give her the name Rakka, which means 'falling.'
They then give Rakka her halo, but it does not work so well at
first. It keeps falling off, and the girls end up having to tie it onto
her head with wiring. There seem to be some apparent static within the
halo, for Rakka's hair starts sticking up, in a comical enough manner it
sends Kana howling with laughter. She finds out later that it was Hikari
who was toying with the device that made her halo.
Since then she has been learning about the town they live in known
as Glie. She voluntarily goes on errands with Reki, learns about the
toga, and how their kind, the Haibane, coexist with normal human beings.
She even learns that there is a world outside the town in which all are
forbidden to go beyond, except for the mysterious toga that deliver
import goods from in and out of the town. The only one able to, or
rather allowed to, talk to the toga is the Communicator, who hides
behind a mask the same as the toga. She meets the Communicator at some
point, and is almost embarrassed due to Hikari's lack of supportive
information.
Still uncertain about her place in this new world from out of the
blue, it is Kuu who comes and helps her have a fun time. Rakka spends an
entire afternoon running around and playing games with the tomboy and
all the little Haibane that Reki takes care of. Rakka is grateful for
Kuu. In several small ways, she is grateful for getting to know all of
the Haibane, but there is always a particular dark-haired that occupies
Rakka's mind almost every waking minute.
Rakka learns later that a Haibane must have a job, but Rakka is
unsure of what job to take. Reki then suggests to her to visit with
their individual Haibane at Old Home to their own jobs.
When the day finally comes where Kana urges for Rakka to come with
her to the watchtower, the latter looks to Reki as if for approval.
Reki gives a small laugh before saying, "Go ahead, we'll see you
when you get back."
Rakka gives a small warm smile in response. "Okay." She gives a
momentary look before leaving with Kana.
"Rakka seems to really look up to me," Reki said, readying to
light a cigarette in her mouth.
Her friend, Nemu, smiles, shrugs and says, "It could be that she's
in love with you."
Reki halts for a moment before the lighter touches her cigarette.
She then lights it fully, and lets out a little whiff. She finally
responds, "I sure hope not. She's just going to get hurt in the end."
Nemu sighs. "You're not the same person you used to be, Reki."
"I'm not going to argue with you about that," Reki said, "But that
is not the only matter, and you know it."
Nemu says nothing to that, but smiles after a while. "I'm glad to
hear you have some hope in you."
"You have no idea," Reki whispers to herself.
"What?"
Reki sighs. "Nothing."
Rakka's first trip does not start promising. She feels that Kana
is about to kill them both with her absolutely reckless biking, and when
she brings it up Kana laughs and brushes it off like it is no big deal.
Whatever panic that had built up in Rakka soon dissipates as Kana
introduces Rakka to Kana's boss, the clockmaker, and then shows her the
awe and mystery of the gigantic clock Kana intends to make functional
once again.
"I hope you're able to fix it someday," Rakka said.
"Thanks," Kana said, "I'm sure I will at some point." Kana leans
against a wall to take a breather from the work, and Rakka does the
same.
"So, what do you think of Reki?" Kana asked.
Rakka pauses at first, unsure of how to properly answer that
question. Realizing she is taking a long moment in silence, Rakka
decides to say what is on her mind. "She is so beautiful. Ever since I
woke up and saw her eyes, I instantly felt safe. I saw her even while I
was unconscious, like a light that shone my way. I have no idea what
this place is, or how and why I came to be here; but I feel she is my
destiny."
"So in other words, you got the hots for her!"
Rakka does a take at Kana. "No, no, it's not like that! I mean-"
Kana shrugs with a smug smile. "I guess I shouldn't be jumping to
conclusions, although your face was blushing, in my defense."
Rakka gasps and covers her cheeks. Kana gives a hearty laugh.
"Don't worry, Rakka, it's nothing to be ashamed about. To be honest, I
always thought Hikari to be kind of cute."
Rakka can feel her own face burning and her mouth drying by the
overwhelming information. She takes a few deep breaths and takes a
moment to ponder. "Are the Haibane allowed to love another person?"
Kana's smile remains but only in slight. "Why would you ask that?"
"Well, it's just that there are so many laws for the Haibane to
follow. We have to work, wear only clothes used by the non-Haibane, and
remain in our own homes. We can't even leave the town. It's like we live
in a strict society. I'm not even sure love could fit into that."
Kana looks away. Her expression is of deep thought, and her small
smile seems to have lost its fun. Finally she says, "For as long as I
have lived here there have been no laws prohibiting the Haibane from
developing relationships. I'm not going to lie and say that there are no
consequences in becoming emotionally attached to someone."
Rakka peers at Kana. It seems almost as if there is far more than
what Kana is revealing, but the latter gives no sign of clarifying it.
Instead she says, "Once you do become attached to someone, I say it's
all the more reason to act on it. Of course you should always be
prepared for whatever happens in the love that might bring you pain. For
me, personally, I see it as a test of being a Haibane here. Our love
could probably even ensure our reunion should we ever get separated,
maybe."
Rakka feels too tired to inquire Kana further in what she is
talking about. She just assumes that Kana is talking about the
regularities of falling in love and how that brings about both good and
bad things. Realizing that they both have been silent for a while, Rakka
asks, "You really think Hikari is cute?" She laughs a little. "She
messed up my halo, and she almost embarrassed me when I went to see the
Communicator."
Kana laughs, her smile returning with ambition. "Her klutziness is
what makes her so cute! She's been this way for as long as we knew each
other. I couldn't help but love her!"
"Does she know about this?"
"I suspect she's made assumptions, but neither of us has made any
first move. That might change at the party!"
"Party?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot! The main librarian that Nemu works for? She's
pregnant. She has plenty of friends throwing a small celebration for
her, and she's invited everyone at the Old Home to come with Nemu.
There'll be dancing; I'll be seeing if Hikari is up for it!"
Rakka giggles. Although she barely knows them, it is always
interesting each time she learns something new about her fellows at Old
Home.
Kana looks at Rakka and says, "Perhaps Reki may be up for it too!"
Rakka gasps and her face flushes once again.
Kana says, "She comes across to me as someone who was popular in a
past life. She doesn't usually have a great deal of fun, even with us
although we try. You could probably help each other have a good time!"
Rakka's heart beats like crazy, and it is just then that she
realizes Kana's prodding is not mere purposeful teasing. Rakka truly
does feel something for the beautiful angel that showed her into the
world.
"HEY!" the clockmaker yells from downstairs, "GET BACK TO WORK
ALREADY! I'M NOT PAYING YOU FOR HALF-HOUR RECESSES!"
Kana coughs out, "Old fart." Out loud she says, "Sorry, boss,
we'll get right back on it." She looks at Rakka. "I barely meet enough
nice guys. Now you know why I'm more attracted to other girls, huh?"
Rakka blushes furiously for a second before chuckling.
The party comes within a week. Rakka thought about it each day,
anticipated and contemplating of the possibilities. *Should I take
Kana's advice seriously? Should I make a move, let Reki know how I
feel?* She had no idea what she would do, and still does not know now
that the party is progressing.
A lining of picnic tables and chairs runs parallel to an empty
ground stage. All guests are invited to dance there, but for now
everyone is grouped together to exchange gifts to the town librarian, a
young kind woman who gladly takes them. She especially appreciates Nemu
and the other Haibane having come. Someone had a radio out, put a CD in,
and let play classical dance music. Many of the people select their
partners and take to the center serving as a dance stage. The only
Haibane occupying the floor is Kuu, who accepted the hand of the bakery
man she often visits.
Nemu, Hikari, and Kana sit together watching the floor. "Not too
various a dancing crowd with just one Haibane," Hikari commented.
Kana stands up and looks toward Hikari. "Why don't we shake things
up a bit, then?" She offers her hand to Hikari.
Hikari stares at the hand in instant confusion. She laughs a
little and says, "Are you serious?"
"This is for real, cutie," Kana said, grabbing Hikari's wrist,
"Let's have a good time!"
Before Hikari has a chance to protest at all Kana whips her onto
the floor, taking both of her hands and leading her in the dance. The
music then picks up with a more rapid beat. Kana separates from Hikari
for a minute and then tap dances hard like crazy in front of her. Hikari
can do nothing more than stare in awe and amusement. Watching Kana, it
is hard to believe that she is not a boy at all. Kana then motions to
Hikari. After a moment Hikari figures, *To heck with it,* and takes her
queue after Kana. She knows she is not doing as efficiently as Kana, but
the tomboy seems to be watching her with genuine enjoyment. After a
while they grab each other's arms once again and swing each other wildly
about. Before long, the music tones down again to a gentler tune. The
two remain in each other's arms.
Nemu stars in disbelief and laughs like crazy. Rakka, who is
sitting nearby, laughs a little too. She looks to Reki sitting next to
her, who also has an amused expression as she rests her head against her
arm with one elbow on the table. Rakka hesitates, still unsure. The
party is going to be over at some point, and if she does not do anything
then she would never know if something would have happened.
She stands up and looks to Reki. "Would you like to dance too?"
Reki sighs. "I guess I would, but it is not so much fun dancing by
myself, you know?"
Rakka pauses for a moment. "I meant would you like to dance with
me?"
Reki looks up at Rakka with a puzzled expression. She laughs a
little and says, "Just because Kana is messing around doesn't mean you
have to be like her. None of the rest of us are like her."
"She isn't really messing around," Rakka said, hope fading fast
from her soul. "But, *I* would like to dance, with you; if that's
alright."
Reki stares at her in uncertainty, clearly receiving the
seriousness in Rakka's request. *Could Nemu be right?* she wonders. She
could turn Rakka away, but then she realizes that would hurt her. She
does not want to ruin a good party at anybody else's expense.
Reki sighs and then smiles. "Sure, Rakka, we can dance."
Rakka's face brightens considerably. Reki barely noticed before
just how cute Rakka can be when happy. Figuring she made the right
decision, she offers her hand to Rakka, who gradually accepts it. Rakka
is clearly still anxious, but is willing to go through with it.
Rakka's smile is replaced by worry all of a sudden. "I just
realized now, I don't know if I remember having ever danced before."
Reki smiles. "You can just follow my lead. Okay?"
"Okay."
Reki takes both hands of her partner and leads her in synch to the
playing music. Rakka's entirety burns with excitement at the close,
shifting contact with the object of her desire leading her about on the
floor. She feels as if a sensational atmosphere is surrounding her,
drowning out all else in the world. Instead of falling like in her
dream, she feels her essence uplifted through space. It is all so
overwhelming; Rakka feels as if she would cry from it. She senses
herself tearing up, but she knows no way of stopping them without
interfering with the dance. Instead she shuts her eyes and rests her
head against Reki's chest, her one arm hugging Reki's back. Just like
she thought, Reki feels soft and warm.
Reki makes no movement in detaching Rakka from her intimate
embrace, but she remains mystified by it all the same. A warm feeling
develops within her chest. Rakka mumbles a little, as if she can feel
the escalating warmth. Before long Reki's heart is beating as well.
Although she barely looks like it on the surface, Reki's mind is
running rampant with cluttered questioning. *Should I be doing this?
Should I be feeling this way?* Everything about this just feels so right
to Reki, and that makes her confusion even worse. *Is it right for us to
do this?*
She looks down at Rakka's head through her halo. Her brown hair
looks so soft and wavy, and kind of cute the way it rests against her
chest. Without thinking about it, Reki places both of her arms around
Rakka, allowing the latter to hug her back with her other arm.
"Isn't that adorable or what?" Kana said, who is still dancing
with Hikari as she observes the other couple.
"Are you really serious about this?" Hikari responds.
Kana looks back at Hikari. "For real, yes I am."
"But, why me?"
"Because you're so cute yourself. How can I not like you?"
The pair continue dancing in silence for a moment. Soon the music
stops, signaling that the dance is over. Unsure of what to say, Hikari
turns to leave, but Kana keeps a hold of her hand.
"Don't I get an after-dance kiss?"
"Uh..."
"What?" Kana asked innocently, "Are you scared of me?"
Hikari instantly shakes her head, "Of course not."
"It can be just a one-time thing and we can end it here."
Hikari's breath shortens, but somehow she utters, "Okay."
Kana leans in and plants a deep kiss on Hikari's lips, making the
latter's heart pound like crazy. When it finishes, Kana looks at Hikari
for a moment and says, "Well, thanks for this one night, I'll treasure
it."
She turns to leave, but Hikari grabs her arm. "It doesn't have to
end here."
Kana looks back at Hikari with her trademark smug grin. "Really?"
"Well; I don't know what to do from here."
"You don't have to do anything. We can both just make
suggestions."
Meanwhile, Rakka and Reki take a moment to look at each other as
well. Rakka is genuinely happy, while Reki keeps a smile on her face and
not much else. She finally says, "That was nice, Rakka. It's getting
late, though. We all better get back to Old Home."
Without another word she turns to regroup with the other Haibane.
Rakka stands there, dumbfounded. She could have stopped Reki from
leaving, but her response took her by surprise. After a while, she sighs
and joins with the other Haibane.
Rakka becomes almost totally depressed from Kuu's departure, and
learning that all the Haibane leave the town of Glie upon the 'Day of
Flight.' The arrival of the cold, dusky winter dampened her inner
spirits even more, especially when by this time everyone else has
accepted Kuu being gone. It does not help matters when portions of her
wing feathers start blackening. Afraid of what is happening to her and
uncertain of what else to do she resorts to cutting them up, until Reki
comes and stops her, and holds her close like never before. She treats
Rakka's wings, and then reveals for the first time that she is a sinner,
and as such she has concealed black wings as well. Her being a sinner is
the reason why she gets nightmares at night, and why she has never had a
'Day of Flight' even at her own age. Rakka refuses to believe that, but
Reki tells her that regardless of what she thinks she is still a sinner,
and Rakka still does not know the real Reki from underneath.
To this Rakka says nothing at first. She then says, "You may be
complicated underneath, Reki, but that does not mean you're evil."
Reki sighs. "You didn't listen to a word I said."
"Yes I have, Reki. How do you know that I'm not complicated? Why
else would I have black wings too?"
"No! There was a mistake, Rakka, and I intend to get to the bottom
of it. If you see yourself in only that light how else would you be able
to save yourself?"
"I could say the same thing to you, Reki. It sounds to me like you
are only thinking of yourself in one dimension just because of what you
have. Why can't you do the same with what you're telling me?"
"Because I can't, Rakka! You can't help me; I can only help you."
Rakka is silent for a moment, tearing up. "When I woke up for the
first time, all I saw was a being made up of light with hair like a dark
waterfall. That being was you, Reki. You were my light, my destiny.
Since then I've always known there was something in you only I could see
at the time. Please don't make me forget that."
Reki's eyes deepen somewhat, but otherwise her face remains
expressionless. Although saying nothing, she gives the impression that
says, "Enough of that talk."
Silent tears well down Rakka's cheeks. She collapses onto the bed
she was sitting on, fully exhausted from everything. After a minute that
feels like an hour, Reki walks over to Rakka's bed, and gradually holds
her hand. "I'm sorry for making you sad, Rakka. I guess we're both
sinners now, so we should be looking out for each other. Maybe things
will get better." Hearing no response from Rakka, she adds, "I'll let
you have some rest now."
"No!" Rakka said, tightening her hold on Reki's hand.
Reki looks down at her in uncertainty. Rakka's other hand reaches
further up her arm. Rakka then looks at Reki's face, with the most
vulnerable, desperate gaze that Reki would not dare look away from.
"Please, Reki, don't leave me. You said you would be there for me if I
needed you. Please stay."
She reaches further up Reki's arms, pulling her down. Reki finds
herself drawn closer to Rakka's laying body. She barely thinks of
whether it is due to Rakka's grasp or because she is letting herself be
pulled in. Either way, her heart beats rapidly, raising her inner
temperatures, blocking out any other rational thought. In the end, she
finds herself lying on top of the bed next to Rakka. Being as close as
they are, Rakka embraces Reki tightly, and snuggles her head just below
Reki's face.
*What am I doing?* Reki wonders. She looks down, only to see
Rakka's peaceful form cuddling with her for all safety's sake. Reki
gives a sigh, letting herself give in to the moment; her name may mean
'pebble' but she is not made of stone.
She takes notice of Rakka's cuddly hair. Reki silently frowns at
this. *Damn these halos, why must Haibane don them? If we didn't, Rakka
would be really nuzzling me right now, and I could rest my chin on her
hair! Were they deliberately made to prevent this?!*
As if sensing her negative thoughts, Rakka embraces Reki tighter
and shifts a little. Reki's pessimism unconsciously vanishes in a click.
She smiles, and embraces Rakka back. The two fall asleep peacefully in
each other's arms.
Hikari and Nemu were walking by and caught the scene by accident.
Hikari says, "I can't believe Kana was right. I can just hear her
saying, "Told you so.""
Nemu says nothing, and gives no hint of a smile. "I'm the only one
alone at Old Home."
"What?"
"Nothing, Hikari. Let's leave them be."
The next morning, Rakka and Reki woke up almost at the same time.
They gaze into each other's eyes, neither doing anything. Rakka finally
says, "I love this touch that we share with each other. I love how we
reach each other. I want to keep doing this, not just night after night,
but day after day. I love you, Reki."
Reki is inexpressively silent for the moment. She then lets go of
Rakka, but does not leave the bed. Instead she props herself up onto her
arms, her face towering almost high above Rakka's. Her long black hair
surrounds her face like dark rays from Rakka's viewpoint, as if Reki is
suddenly being enveloped by them.
"You must promise me one thing, Rakka, before I say anything
else."
Rakka waits in anticipation.
"Don't-*ever*-leave me."
Rakka stares at first, before breaking into a chuckle.
"I am serious, Rakka. If you can't do that for me, I can't return
any feelings."
"No, no, Reki. I'm laughing because that's so easy. I'd never
leave your side."
"Are you sure it's that simple? What if you were called for the
Day of Flight? What will you do then?"
Rakka ponders. "I'm a sinner now, just like you, Reki. I could
never leave even if I wanted to."
"But what if you had the option, is what I'm asking."
Rakka pauses, before saying, "I would stay here at Old Home. I
don't understand why anyone would leave here. I might just end up
forgetting this place like I did my past life, and I don't want to
forget."
Reki continues peering at Rakka. Then she breaks into the same
smile she had shared on their first meeting the day Rakka first woke up.
She leans down and gently kisses Rakka's lips for the first time.
Rakka's heart hammers, making her body feel on fire. She feels it can go
on forever, and is disappointed when Reki finally pulls away and holds
Rakka's hand.
"I'll make us some breakfast. You can come downstairs when you're
ready." She leaves the room.
For the first time in the winter, Rakka feels warm all over. She
finally has Reki. As soon as Reki leaves the room, however, Rakka cannot
stop herself from thinking about everything else that is occupying her
mind. She and Reki are sinners. But just because of that, it does not
mean they have to give up any hope at all and not help each other out.
She cannot stop thinking about the Day of Flight either. She and Reki
could stay at Old Home all their lives. But what about all their other
friends at Old Home? What if they all got called on the Day of Flight
eventually? Rakka could not bear with that idea, after having gotten
attached to everyone. She needs them just as much as Reki, if not more
so. She is not entirely sure that she meant it when she said she would
ignore the Day of Flight, but it is far better if she does not say
anything. She loves Reki, that much is clear to her. She intends to help
her any way she can.
A thought occurs to her. She is not sure if it is appropriate or
even necessary as a Haibane. Regardless, she positions herself on her
knees on the floor with elbows propped on her bed. She closes her eyes
and says, "Please, God, help me find the way. I don't know what I did or
didn't do to be cursed, but if there is a way to undo it I wish to know
it. No, let me rephrase that. If there is a way to undo Reki's curse,
please, please shine me a light on the right path to accomplish that.
She means more to me than anything in this world. I could not bear to
rest with the thought that my love would not move to the world above.
Show me the way, and I will make you proud of Reki and I."
She does not hear, or even feel, a response. Then an exaggeratedly
deep voice utters, "God speaking. I'm not in my office right now but if
you leave your prayer at the sound of the beep I'll get back to you as
soon as I can!"
Rakka snaps her head toward the door where Kana and Hikari are
standing in amusement. "Hey, Kana!"
"Don't point the finger at me this time!" Kana said, giving a
referential glance at Hikari, "I've become a bad influence on her!"
"Gee, thanks for selling me out!" Hikari said, punching Kana in
the shoulder.
"You're welcome, love!" Kana plants a quick kiss on Hikari's
cheek. Her blushing signals her resignation.
Rakka pauses for a moment. "How long were you two there?"
"Long enough," Hikari replied, "Are you and Reki together now? I'm
so happy for you!"
Rakka smiles at that. Then she says, "But she-I-it's just that..."
"We know about Reki's curse," Kana said with sincere empathy, "I
accidentally looked through Reki's diary notes one time."
*They don't know that the same has happened to me,* Rakka thought.
Out loud, she says, "I want to help her."
"You might be the only person that can do that," Hikari said, "Me
and the others of Old Home can't do much else than just believe in Reki.
Now our thoughts will be with you."
Rakka embraces Hikari and Kana simultaneously, who hug her back
like a sandwich. "Thanks, you two."
After a while, Hikari says, "Well, let's go get breakfast, if my
honey is going to give me a ride to work."
Rakka's eyes bug to an almost comical extent. "Hikari, I don't
think that's a good idea..."
Kana laughs almost wickedly. Hikari giggles too, saying, "I've
rode with her before. To be honest, I find riding with her to be real
thrilling!"
Kana embraces one arm tightly around Hikari's shoulders, flashing
an expression at Rakka that seems to say, *What do you have to say about
that, hm?*
Rakka chuckles to herself, letting it go at that. All three leave
for the dining room, where Nemu is already seated. Hikari and Kana take
chairs next to each other. Reki was already about done with making
scrambled eggs, and is serving everyone their fair share. She gives a
fair portion to Rakka before giving her a loving kiss on the forehead.
Kana's smile touches from ear to ear almost ludicrously. Hikari
smiles and holds Kana's hand. Nemu remains expressionless. If anyone had
the time to study Nemu closer, there would have been an apparent hint of
sadness in her.
A great deal of things happen a while afterwards. Rakka feels a
calling by a raven and then finds herself lost in the woods and trapped
in a well with a raven skeleton. Although she cannot fully explain it,
she just knows it is from the part of her dream that she forgot and is
tied to somebody she knew from her previous world. She is soon rescued
by the Communicator and Toga and is sent home.
Reki was near losing her cool and sanity in searching for her new
beloved. When she finally finds her she cannot stop herself from
grabbing hold of Rakka so to prevent her from disappearing into thin
air. Rakka embraces her back, feeling so fortuitous to have someone to
come back to and be loved by. Then she comes down with a fever. When
Reki finds out it is from when Rakka touched the wall, and the Renmei
are going to do nothing, she is terrified and angry. She had found
someone close to her heart, and she is not going to let the Renmei's
lack of aid take it all away from her. It drives her to confront the
Communicator without any scheduled appointment and demand for help. The
Communicator agrees, although he warns Reki about her serious attachment
to Rakka. To this, Reki barely says anything, but the Communicator can
clearly notice.
"Are you more than attached to this girl?"
Reki gives a defiant glare. "Is it forbidden for a Haibane to
love?"
"No such law was ever written or implied," the Communicator said,
"But would you be ready should her Day of Flight ever come?"
"I'm not sure that it will anymore," Reki said.
The Communicator then reveals to Reki that her time is running
short, and unless she finds the answers to her dream soon enough, she
will not make it for her own Day of Flight deadline. He even reveals
that if such happens, she will lose her wings and live a long, lonely
life.
At least I won't be alone, Reki thought to herself. As soon as she
thought it she is not sure whether that would be true. She is barely
sure of anything now.
She brings up the question why Nemu had not taken her Day of
Flight before her, and the Communicator reveals Nemu's essential
intentions that she prefers Reki to leave before her. Reki feels ashamed
for being a burden upon her. She leaves with Rakka's medicine.
When she returns she finds out that the blackness of Rakka's wings
have diminished. She discovers what the Communicator meant when he
mentioned Rakka's possible Day of Flight. For the first time since
before Rakka poured her heart out to her, Reki feels alone. On one hand
she feels relieved for Rakka, but on the other it makes her realize that
regardless of Rakka's promise not to leave her side, it will happen
anyway.
After taking her medicine, Rakka thanks her. Reki then says,
"Rakka, remember what I said about not taking the Day of Flight? Please
forget that, I shouldn't have made you promise that. If you ever receive
a call to leave the Town of Glie, please take it. It is the greatest
blessing you can receive as a Haibane."
After a while, Rakka says, "It would mean leaving you, Reki."
"Everybody has to leave each other eventually, Rakka." She
hesitates, then says, "We need to call this off between us."
Rakka's eyes gape open. "Why?"
"Please, Rakka, it's too complicated to explain. I can't burden
you with it."
"But I want to share your pain, Reki. I was aware of it when I
opened my heart to you. Please don't do this." Rakka seems as if she
would cry if it was not for her present health.
Reki sighs. She pats Rakka on the head, saying, "I do love you,
Rakka, but I need to work things out on my own. Please worry about
yourself for right now. Please, do this for me."
Rakka says nothing. Then she sighs as if in resignation. "I will
always help you the best way I can, Reki."
Reki says nothing to that, just turns to leave the room. "I'll
check on you later."
Reki nearly breaks into hysterics when the Renmei demand for
Rakka's presence at a job as her punishment. Regardless of what was
conveyed the previous evening, Reki still feels responsible for Rakka
and wants to protect her. But Rakka tells her she would be alright.
There was a tone in her voice suggesting that Reki should not show so
much concern since she blew off their relationship. Rakka then leaves.
When she comes back, she assures Reki that nothing happened, and she
finally found a new permanent job working inside the mysterious town
wall.
As Reki walks down a hallway, she bumps into Nemu. Nemu looks at
her and asks, "Did something happen with you and Rakka?"
"It was a mistake, I should've realized it," Reki said, as she
begins heading up a staircase, "Eventually she'll leave and I have to
deal with a broken heart again."
"Hikari and Kana don't see it the same way," Nemu said, "They're
fully prepared to say good-bye should the Day of Flight ever come."
Reki stops. "That reminds me; why are you waiting for me to leave
first, Nemu?"
Nemu is taken aback.
"The Communicator told me everything, Nemu. Why make me a burden
for you?"
"You don't know? I have cared for you as long as we have known
each other. I wouldn't be able to move on unless I knew you were
destined for the same path."
"In other words, you pitied me for so long. You're sounding just
like Rakka, and I don't need that, Nemu. Stop it."
"At least you and Rakka had something! If you had given it a
chance, you would have what Hikari and Kana found! I felt so happy for
the four of you but I felt so alone, because it was as if I need not
experience any passion for as long as I live in Glie."
Reki gives a sympathetic gaze. She wants to comfort Nemu, but at
the same time a voice tells her it is inappropriate to do so. Instead
she says, "I'm sorry, Nemu."
A deep look is expressed in Nemu's eyes. She chances a small
smile. "It doesn't have to be like that." She gradually walks close up
to Reki. "We're practically the same age. If you could leave before me,
I would be shortly behind you." She stands in front of Reki's face, who
stares at her in uncertainty. She places her hands on Reki's shoulders.
"Perhaps it is not Rakka that was destined to be yours. It makes more
sense for you and I to be together, don't you think?"
Reki does not respond. Nemu takes her queue, leans forward, and
kisses her friend. She grasps Reki's cheeks with her hands, deepening
her kiss, hoping to make Reki a part of her once and for all.
But after three seconds Reki instantly pushes Nemu off, trying to
do so that was not so harsh. Regardless, Nemu's hurt expression reveals
she is about to finally break down.
Reki says, "I'm sorry, Nemu. You have been a great friend, someone
who's been there for me in this prison town of ours. But the only soul I
could ever connect with is with Rakka's, and my hope on that has already
died. You can support me all you want, but it will do good. I'm sorry."
With that, Reki ascends out of view up the staircase. Nemu stands
there at the base, her tears ready to come out but they never do. She
prays to herself, *Please, God. Please help Reki find the way.*
It is when Rakka brings the boy, Dai, over to the Abandoned
Factory that she meets with Hyohko and Midori for the first time, the
same couple she had seen Reki conflict with a while back. Greetings are
exchanged, and the duo turn out to be nice enough. As they are talking
about Reki, how the conflict was not one-way, they can clearly see the
distant expression on Rakka's face. She reveals her love, and Midori is
the one who assures her that Reki did the right thing, for once. Hyohko
stays her to keep her from commenting any further. Rakka declares that
no matter what they think, regardless that she does not know the Reki
they knew before, Reki will always be dear to her heart, and she intends
to help her any way she can.
Rakka then returns home to find Nemu, leaning against the Old Home
fence. She looks at Rakka, clearly waiting to say something to her.
"Hey, Nemu, what's up?"
"Do you love Reki?"
Rakka does a take at the blunt question, but then answers, "Yes."
"Will you do anything to help her?"
"Of course I would."
"Then please do, for you are the only one that can."
"How are you sure about that?"
"Because she told me." Nemu pauses. "I kissed her. I tried to make
her mine now that she was done with you."
Rakka's eye widen in apparent betrayal and rising anger, an
emotion she has not remembered experiencing beforehand.
"But she wouldn't have it with me," Nemu said with an assuring
tone, "Although she won't admit it, you're still in her heart."
"I see," Rakka said, sighing, giving a silent sign for
forgiveness.
"Please, Rakka, please find the way."
"I can't find the way here," Rakka said, "Unless..."
"Unless what?"
"I work inside the boundary walls, and I have seen strange stuff
that I'm not allowed to talk about. I might find answers there."
Silent tears overtake Nemu as she advanced toward Rakka and
embraces her tightly. Rakka returns the favor. "It'll be alright."
After a while of working within the town walls, Rakka is able to
learn the sign language of the Renmei, and even stuns the Communicator
when she displays her knowledge. He feels it a necessary time to give
Rakka the container with a message inside that would greatly determine
Reki's outcome.
Before long comes the Bell Nut festival where all the friends of
Old Home participate in the New Year's celebration of thanks and
reconciliation. Kana and Hikari walk about hand in hand. Rakka is happy
for them, but it still nags a sense of loneliness in her mind,
regardless of her determined mission for Reki. Reki cannot stop
wondering in the back of her mind of how Rakka feels, but she keeps
repeating to herself she made the right choice. She gives Nemu a brief
glance and wonder if she feels the same, although Nemu is hiding it
better than Rakka. Each member gives their thanks to the people closely
affiliated with them. Reki even bumps into Hyohko and Midori and
apologizes to them for the past. Hyohko gives only a glance, but Midori
gives her verbal forgiveness.
Later that evening, the night that determines Reki's future, Reki
made an arrangement to be alone in her room. She thanks everyone at Old
Home for giving the light she had in her life in Glie. She turns to
Nemu, and privately tells her that if things had been different, they
definitely would have been together. Nemu just smiles and gives a nod,
and says she will miss her. Reki then gives Rakka a gaze, holds her on
the shoulder, smiles down at her, and then leaves for her room. Deciding
to leave it to believing in their friend, Nemu, Kana and Hikari sleep
together in the guest room on their post-festival night. Nemu sleeps
upright on a chair, while Kana and Hikari cuddle together as one in
their bed. Rakka does not stay with them and makes her way toward Reki.
Rakka gives the box to Reki, who reads the message inside, and
makes an unsettling revelation. It is enough that her wings turn
frighteningly black and wretched. She had committed suicide in a past
life by running in front of a train, because she had been abandoned all
her life. There was no salvation, and everything she had done for Rakka
was for naught. She shamelessly reveals to Rakka that she had been using
her the entire time in hopes of helping her soul find salvation, and
everything she did was for her own causes.
Rakka gapes in fright at the revelations given. "No, Reki, no!
Don't talk like that! You're lying to yourself, you're only making
yourself believe there is no hope left!"
"Am I lying to myself?" Reki said, snidely, "or is that what some
other pathetic girl in this room is doing?"
Rakka feels Reki's astral dagger just jabbing into her chest, and
she presses her hand against it as if to stay it. "But...but...you loved
me. We shared a bond. You kissed me."
Reki smiles wickedly. "I suppose that I did feel something for you
that one time, but only because we were both sinners. Ever since you
cursed yourself with your own darkness, I had lost hope for my salvation
even then. I figured that if I was going to die in this prison town
broken and miserable, at least I would not have done so alone. Why do
you think I made you promise not to leave this town? It's so I would not
be abandoned again, and I can feel good about myself when I have someone
suffering with me."
Rakka's mouth hangs open in stunned terror. This is no longer the
Reki she knows. She had always seen the light inside, but hearing Reki's
words pound at her like arrows shot straight and true and cloud the
vision she had once perceived. She wants to think of something, say
anything to not lose sight of that, but nothing comes.
Reki gives a most fiendish smile, before bursting out, "GET THE
FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOW!"
Rakka does so in a rush.
Rakka is distraught, so confused on whether refusing to believe or
unable to know otherwise of what Reki said. She had loved her, she wants
to keep loving her, but how can she after the pain that Reki had
inflicted? She was right; she did hurt Rakka in the end, although it is
a pain Rakka never expected.
But then she discovers Reki's portrait of her old friend, and
Reki's journal. She finds out Reki's intention to be a good Haibane once
Rakka's cocoon was discovered. Rakka even remembers the soothing words
Reki had spoken to her before she even hatched. Some of the warm light
returns to Rakka's state of mind, and she realizes how much Reki needs
her help. She had said the terrible things because she was confused and
afraid. But Rakka refuses to be afraid, until she sees the whole thing
through.
She returns to Reki's room, to find that Reki had formulated an
empty dimension from her own darkness. Rakka wants to go to her, but
then a young form of Reki literally holds her back with almost
stone-like strength. The apparition says that there is nothing Rakka can
do, for Reki cannot hear her and she must let Rakka in, which she
clearly will not do. Not giving up, Rakka screams to Reki to call for
her help. Rakka yells that she still loves her, and is willing to
protect her, even if it means their separation in the end. The astral
train comes to claim Reki's destiny. Reki stares in fear at her coming
doom. She could hear, no, feel, something building up within her. She
does not know what it is or where it is coming from. All she knows is
that as much as she wants it all to end, she does not want it ending
like this. She does the only thing that is in her subconsciousness. She
calls for Rakka. Reki's young apparition disintegrates, and Rakka pulls
Reki out of the train's way at the last minute. Both of them pass out
from the sheer force that they had experienced.
Reki is the first to come to. When she finds Rakka still on the
floor, she instinctively holds her tightly in her arms. Rakka comes to,
and her cute smile forms on her lips.
"Rakka, are you okay?"
Rakka faintly smiles. "Hey, Reki."
Reki embraces her tightly. "Oh thank you, Rakka! All those things
I said, all those terrible things. I didn't...I...it all wasn't..."
"It's alright Reki, there's nothing to forgive."
Reki lets Rakka back a little to breathe. Her eyes focusing, she
could see the tears streaming down Reki's face. She can also see a
source of radiance behind her. "Reki, your wings! They're white! You
*are* forgiven!"
Reki looks back at her wings to see them in all their vibrant
white coloring. "I'm forgiven," she echoed.
She looks back at Rakka, more deeply and longingly this time.
Rakka keeps her smile and returns the gaze. Without a word, Reki leans
forward and gives Rakka the most passionate kiss she can manage. It is
not the same kiss she planted the first time; this time she has every
intention of conveying a piece of her soul into her one love. For Rakka
the physical world drowns away once again, and she truly feels like she
is floating in space with the one that had given so much to her.
They slowly break the kiss. Reki looks down, with an almost a sad
expression. "You do know what this means, right?"
Rakka gives a nod, her smile not faltering. "Yes, I do. I don't
want it to happen, but I'm ready to accept it. You have given me more
than I could ever wish for."
Reki smiles, and gives Rakka another kiss. If she had it her way,
she would have it go all night. There is just so much more she could do
to show her love. They have not even shared bodies yet. If only she
could find a dimension through her kiss with Rakka, and they can be
together in their own realm. But she realizes it is not possible. She
gently breaks the kiss.
"It's time," Reki said simply.
"I'll go with you," Rakka said.
They stand in the snow in front of the fence between the Old Home
and the forest that is the pathway to Reki's Day of Flight. They stand
together for a moment in silence.
"I will treasure what time we spent together," Rakka said,
mentally noting that Kana and Hikari would display the same strength. "I
can only hope we will see each other again in the new world."
"We will," Reki said, "I made sure of it, by leaving my mark in
you."
Rakka smiles, almost blushing a little. "I just want to hear
something from you before you go."
"And what's that?"
"I've told you that I love you, but you never said the same."
Reki is taken aback by this. "Rakka, I thought you knew the
answer!"
Rakka chuckles a little. "I do, Reki, and I believe you. I just
want to hear you say it, that's all. Then I'll be able to move on."
Reki gives her a warm, understanding look. After a moment of two
seconds that felt like eternity, Reki bends down and kisses Rakka once
again. This time, without consciously realizing it, Rakka kisses back.
The intimate contact warms the both of them in the chilly surroundings.
Rakka closes her eyes, savoring the moment while it lasts. She does not
even realize it is over until Reki whispers into her ear, "Farewell, my
one and only love."
Tears penetrate through Rakka's closed eyes, forcing her to almost
open them. But Reki signals her to keep them closed with her two
fingers, telling her she must depart in the traditional unseen way.
Rakka does so. Reki then holds Rakka's hand with utmost warmth. Rakka
feels her love gradually walk away, her hand moving hers until it slips
out entirely. After a while, she opens her eyes to see Reki gone.
Nemu, Kana and Hikari appear from out of the blue to stand by
Rakka. They all give her a look.
"Were you all standing there the whole time?"
"We came out a little earlier than we probably should have," Kana
said.
"We didn't mean to eavesdrop," Hikari said, tears welling in her
eyes. Kana holds her hand and plants a kiss on her cheek.
Nemu gives a genuine smile to Rakka. "I am so happy what you gave
to Reki. I wish the best for you too."
"Thanks, Nemu."
After that, a beam of light is seen vertical from the distant
ground to the abysmal sky. The four friends watch in awe.
Rakka sighs, and smiles even more deeply. *I will never forget
you, Reki.*
THE END
[Did you enjoy it? Any comments?]
Back to Haibane Renmei Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction