No Promises
The building wasn't the tallest in the town, but everyone knew where
to find it. It stood in the center of the newly developed area, an
impressive symbol of protection and renewal after war and destruction.
At this time of night, the building was dark - with the exception of a
single window on a high floor. A pale light shone from the interior
and, if one had eyes to see it, one might discern the dark shape of a
person in that window, looking down at the night-cloaked city. A
closer look and the observer would notice the pale shine of tears
streaming down the figure's cheeks.
"That son of a bitch!" The woman in the window turned away with an
exclamation.
An audible sigh was heard from across the room, and Lucrezia Noin
whirled to confront it. "What?"
"Nothing," Une said resignedly. "Nothing we haven't heard thirty times
already. Are you going to talk about it, or can I go get some sleep?
It's almost 1AM and I've had a long day."
Sally entered the room with three beer bottles in her hand and
gestured for the women to join her at the desk. Noin shook her head.
"No thanks, I don't drink beer."
Sally laughed cheerfully. "Don't be silly – it's not for you." She
placed one open bottle in front of Une, and left two on the table in
front of herself. She leaned on her arms and asked quietly, "Why don't
you tell us?"
Noin dropped heavily into a chair. "He's gone," she said with a sob.
"He left me, the sonofabitch."
Sally and Une shared a look. "Zechs left you? Where? When?"
Noin closed her eyes, and laid her face down on the table. "Almost a
month ago. I thought...I thought it was just like before. But two
weeks ago I received a note." She waved a hand vaguely. "Trust me –
he's gone." She slammed the hand onto the table. "What a bastard! I
waited my whole life for him to notice me – I thought it was always
something else, the war, his kingdom, his madness...when all along...I
just wasn't good enough."
Une laid a hand on Noin's arm sympathetically. "I know exactly what
you mean, Noin." She leaned back with a despondent sigh. "I thought,
well, I thought if I could be the person he wanted, Trieze would love
me. But he never did – not the way I wanted him to." She gave a sudden
bitter laugh. "No matter how hard I tried, I'd never be the person
*he'd* want."
Sally leaned forward. "So, he left you for another woman, huh?"
Noin's head rose, her forelock obscuring one eye, the other filled
with irony and pain. "No, no he didn't. Gods, I've been blind." She
slumped forward again. "He left for me a man. All this time and I
couldn't even see the obvious. Trieze, Heero, all his obsessions have
been men and there I was living in some happy lalaland where he and I
would finally settle down together." She groaned loudly. "I feel like
such a fool I could die." Une and Sally watched as Noin's body shook
with misery.
Sally lifted a bottle and took a long drink. "So. He's gone." She
didn't sound surprised. She took another long drink and placed the
bottle on the desk with a sharp rap. "Didn't he and Trieze have an
affair when they were in university together?"
Une glanced at the blonde Preventer sharply. "Yes, thank you for
reminding us both with such subtlety and charm." Her voice hissed with
anger, "Why don't you just rub salt into the wounds a little, Sally?"
Sally shrugged, unconcerned. "It was just a question." She turned back
to Noin who was watching them, surprised both at Sally's indelicacy
and Une's vehemence. The black-haired woman reached out slowly and
grabbed Sally's second bottle of beer. She made a face, swigged back a
large portion of it, made another face and sighed.
"Okay, okay, Sally, I get your point. Tears are wasted on him." She
looked away. "I'm more angry at myself than Zechs anyway."
"Not wasted – misdirected," Sally said gently. "If you want to cry –
go ahead, but cry for yourself, not for him."
Une slapped a hand on her knee. "Stop it Sally! You don't understand –
you barely know Zechs and you never knew Trieze," her voice dropped to
a whisper, "you don't understand how they inspired love."
Looking hard at the other two women Sally shook her head. "You're
right," she admitted. "I don't understand – I didn't run in the
rarified circles of the OZ and Romerfeller organizations. I'm a grunt,
a regular army girl, and in my world love and sex had not a hell of a
lot to do with each other." He voice remained calm and even, but
tension was visible in the lines of her body. "While you two played
with big words and big mech, I watched people die on the ground, the
soldiers, the civilians..." she drank more beer.
Noin stared at Sally, her face pale. "Une is right, you didn't know
Trieze – he was...he was a true leader, who inspired great loyalty and
who had the most amazing charisma." She looked down at the desk.
"Zechs wasn't immune to it, none of us were. And Zechs – he was a
mystery. He lived in a high place even when we were crawling through
mud together. He shone with a kind of light – like Relena does, even
now." She stood suddenly and turned back to the window, slamming a
hand into the wall. "Damn them all for being so brilliant. Damn them
for being so goddamn brilliant." She leaned her head against the
glass.
Une lifted her bottle in agreement and drank, as if Noin had just
finished a toast.
"So," Sally said after the silence had lengthened, "what now?"
But Noin didn't answer the question. She remained at the window,
wrapped in self-pity.
Une turned to the blonde once again. "What about you? Haven't you ever
been in love before?"
Sally shook her head. "Lovers, yes. Love? No." She stood and
stretched, unaware of the look on Une's face.
"Well," Noin said with a self-deprecating laugh, "what kind of men are
you attracted to, then? Une and I," she gestured towards the brunette,
"seem to have a knack for falling in love with men who loved each
other more than us...what about you?"
Sally shrugged. "I have no idea."
Noin turned. "But you said..."
"I said I'd had lovers." Sally picked up the empty beer bottles and
headed towards the bar. "I never said that any of them were men."
When Sally returned to the desk, this time with two beer bottles and a
glass of wine for Noin, she found the other Preventers staring at her
open-mouthed.
"What?" she asked, amused. "Does it come as that much of a surprise?"
"Yes!" Noin and Une exclaimed in unison. Sally laughed at this and
seated herself again at the desk.
Une cleared her throat. "I think we all supposed that you and..." she
stalled until Sally gestured for her to finish the sentence. "Well,
that you and Wu Fei..." she ended lamely, a slight flush on her face.
Now it was Sally's turn to gape. "Me and Wu Fei?" she asked, openly
shocked. "He's a child! And an annoying one to boot." Sally began to
chuckle, a deep throaty laugh, which seemed like it might continue for
some time. "Me and Wu Fei...that's just great," she said, wiping her
eyes. "Is that common knowledge among all the Preventers?"
Noin smiled sheepishly, "Zechs and I always assumed it..."
Sally's laughter continued until it became contagious. The tension in
the room slipped away as the three women laughed together until they
could no longer breathe.
Weakly, Noin slid back into her seat and drank her wine. "I'm sorry,
for assuming..."
Sally gestured the apology away. "Don't be ridiculous. I didn't tell
you and you never asked. There's nothing wrong with that." Her face
became serious for a moment. "I have to admit, it's been a long time,
though. While fighting with Earth forces, during the war, sex was just
another thing you did, like treating wounds, eating, sleeping..." She
sighed. "Then the war ended and I met you," she included both women in
her gaze, "then I became a Preventer...Wu Fei, huh?" She smirked, then
shook herself. "But why are we talking about me? I thought we were
here to let you get things off your chest." She turned to Noin, where
she found two dark eyes boring into her face intensely.
"It occurred to me as you were speaking," Une said, breaking into the
new tensions, "that we really don't know much of anything about each
other. I know more *of* Noin than anything – you both know more of my
own actions than I do...and you, Sally, neither of us know much at all
except what we've been through together." She pushed herself away from
the table with a yawn. "And I want to learn more, I really do. But if
I don't get some sleep tonight, I won't be fit to meet with the
Representative from the colonies tomorrow." She put a hand up to
shield yet another yawn.
Noin smiled at Une. "Get some sleep then. Sally will sit here,
fortified by beer and listen to my tale of woe, won't you?" she shot a
dark glance at the blonde.
"Sure!" Sally replied quickly. "Lady, you have a good night's sleep."
Une bowed slightly and excused herself, closing the office door behind
her.
"She didn't say it, but she's been up for nearly 48 hours," Sally
commented after the door had closed.
"And here I was, torturing her with my tedious personal problems."
Noin put her face in her hands. "Not too self-absorbed."
Sally patted the black-haired woman's shoulder gently. "That's
alright, Noin. We're both worried about you."
Noin shot the blonde a tight smile. "I'll be fine. This is just me
allowing myself a little self-pity. It's not like I haven't seen it
coming for years." She heaved a sigh. "Une's right about one thing – I
hardly know anything about you. Tell me about yourself, to distract
me."
"What do you want to know? The Sally Po you know was born the day a
strong, black-haired woman crashed through a Romerfeller window."
"But," asked Noin gently, "what about the Sally Po I never met?"
Sally shook her head. "She's dead. She died in the war." The blonde's
lips tightened. Obviously she wasn't going to say more on the subject.
"Then I'll tell you a story," Noin offered. "The first time I ever saw
Zechs Marquise was when he joined the class at the OZ academy. I was
addressing the other cadets when a buzz started moving through the
troops. I shouted for them to stand at attention, but the noise kept
moving, spreading...and then I saw him. His helmet covered his head,
of course, but his eyes were that blue, I could see them from where I
stood, and his hair shone in the morning sun. And I heard the phrase
"Lightning Count," for the first time. The next thing I knew, Trieze
Kushrenada himself had stepped forward and was introducing the newest
OZ Officer in Training. And I was lost."
Sally said nothing for a long moment. "OZ was something I knew about,
obviously," she said at last, "we saw the OZ officers come through
from time to time, but to us in the Earth Forces, they were just
dandified pretty boys and girls. No offense intended." She nodded
towards Noin, who watched her closely. "It wasn't until I met you,
until that day you rescued me, that I understood that OZ were really
the cream of the crop, that they really were of an order above us."
Noin shifted slightly. "That's the second time you've mentioned it,
that day. Does it mean that much to you?" Once again Sally looked up
only to be met by dark eyes watching her closely.
"I suppose it was," she agreed pleasantly. "It was the day I chose a
path to follow."
"You're a bloody liar, Sally Po." Noin said quietly. "You've been
lying to yourself for a long time. Don't try to deny it," she held up
a hand to stall Sally's protest. "I can see the signs – I should
recognize them, I've done it myself for years. I kept telling myself
that Zechs wasn't gay, he was just experimenting, that Trieze was
irresistible in any case, that after we had time together he'd grow to
love me. I was wrong but," Noin reached out a hand and laying it
lightly on Sally's wrist, she said, "you may not be."
Sally looked hard at Noin, pulled her hand away and stood. "Don't,
Noin. Not as a joke – definitely not as a way to make yourself feel
better." She turned away from the desk and stopped. "It's late –
you're tired and overwrought. I'll see you in the morning."
"Sally." Noin's voice was thick with emotion. "Don't leave me alone
tonight."
Sally turned around, a frown on her face. "I admire you Noin – I have
since we met. Don't ruin it by asking for something you don't want."
"I want you." Noin looked up at the blonde, her eyes clear. "I've been
a fool about Zechs for a decade. And I don't want to be a fool about
you for a second longer than I have to."
Doubt filled Sally's eyes.
"I'm not playing with you, Sally, I swear – and you're not second
place. And I'm not drunk, so don't use that as an excuse." Noin
gestured to her hardly-touched glass of wine. "Don't try to argue that
you're drunk either, because I've seen you put away a lot more than
two bottles of beer and walk away sober. There just aren't any good
excuses for turning me down left to you."
"Yes there are," Sally insisted, her head shaking at Noin's arrogance.
"There's a perfectly good excuse, Noin. I don't want you." She took
two steps back towards the desk and bent down to speak directly into
Noin's face. "I don't want you, I don't love you and I can't help
you." Her voice was gentle but firm.
Noin's dark eyes looked up sadly. "I'm afraid for you. Please, I mean
this...don't be like me, hiding your desire behind duty and logic.
Just once, do what your heart tells you to."
Sally hadn't moved. Noin watched as emotions crisscrossed the blonde's
face. She could see a war being fought, and she wasn't at all sure who
might win.
Sally stood upright, her face drawn. "Good night, Lucrezia." Once
again she began to walk away, but Noin stood quickly and spun the
blonde around, her eyes blazing.
"You're an idiot." Noin spat. "Think! Think of what you are saying.
Think back to the day I rescued you...didn't you want me then?"
Sally's jaw tightened. "I wanted to be free."
"I freed you. I'm just trying to free you again." Noin pulled on
Sally's arm and brought them closer together. "Why are you denying
this?"
Sally pulled her arm roughly out of Noin's grasp. "Because," she
grated, "You love someone else, because...because..." her body slumped
a little. "Because I never dared to hope before and all I can think is
that this isn't a good idea now." Her voice dropped. "So...what? We
make love tonight and I spend the next few weeks watching you, waiting
for a cue, for it to be something more to you than a way to make you
feel better...knowing that's its not me you wanted, that you just
wanted to be needed." She shook her head angrily. "I'm not a child
Noin, and I don't need that in my life - ever."
Noin didn't answer. Instead she leaned forward, pressing her lips into
Sally's. When the blonde didn’t pull away, Noin moved closer, and
slipped an arm around Sally's neck. Her mouth moved against Sally's
neck, jaw and lips.
Sally's eyes closed and she sighed, a soft, nostalgic sigh. "Yes," she
breathed, "that's what it felt like." Her arms came up and enclosed
Noin in a tight embrace, and she lowered her lips to the other
woman's, meeting her tongue as it was offered.
When both of them huffed with need for air they broke away, panting.
Noin held Sally's hand in her own as she spoke. "Don't leave me alone
tonight – or any night."
"I can't promise that – you know that. We're not Office Ladies, we're
Preventers."
"Right now, we're women," Noin said with conviction. She pushed on
Sally's chest until the other woman found herself backed up against
the wall. Noin leaned forward, her eyes burning in her face. "All
there is is right now." She captured Sally's lips with her own, then
bit the blonde's lower lip until Sally hissed in pain.
"Promise me tonight, and we’ll take the rest as it comes," Noin
murmured against Sally's lips.
The blonde didn't answer, instead she shot her left hand out and found
the light switch. The lights in the office clicked off, leaving only
the city lights outside to illuminate the room.
Noin's arms slid down Sally's body, her hands pulling at the khaki
blouse. When the shirt had been pulled free, Noin let her hands slide
underneath the material, stroking the other woman's back. Sally took
Noin's face in her hands and held it. Even in the dim light, Noin
could see the intensity in the blonde's gaze.
When she spoke, Sally's voice was wryly amused. "Sometimes," she
muttered both to herself and the other woman, "you see something in
front of you and you know it's just *wrong* to want it, but you close
your eyes and go for it anyway. This is just one of those things." And
she kissed Noin deeply, letting her tongue fill the other woman's
mouth.
Something inside Sally snapped, something she had held tight for far
too long. With her back to the wall, she slid down to the floor,
drawing Noin down with her. Sally pulled at Noin's blouse, lowering
her lips to the soft skin of Noin's breasts. Kissing gently, her
tongue tracing slow swirls, Sally began to speak so softly that Noin
wasn't sure at first that she heard the other woman.
"The window came crashing in in a million pieces. And you swung in,
breathing a little heavily, your coat was like a cape." The blonde
lifted her head and looked into Noin's eyes. "I was surprised that my
knight in shining armor was such a magnificent woman."
Noin forced herself to breath, forced herself to concentrate on
Sally's words, even as the other woman's fingers removed her blouse
and bra. Warm hands covered her breasts, kneading them, stroking them,
all while the soft voice whispered in the dark.
"Your eyes reflected the flames in the fireplace, and you had a small
smile, like you already knew what I was thinking."
Noin's head rolled backwards as fingers flicked her nipples, causing
sparks to fly up and down her spine, settling low in her abdomen.
"Lucrezia Noin," Sally's breath tickled Noin's ear, "I have wanted you
since that day, more every time we met and more now than I can ever
express." The voice stopped and Noin moaned as cool lips covered a
nipple and fingers pulled at the other.
"Sally," Noin moaned into the night, then again as her legs were
parted and Sally stroked every inch of her legs she could reach. When
a hand reached her ass, Noin broke away.
"Wait," she said and pulled herself from the other woman's embrace.
Quickly, she stripped herself of her clothes, and watched with open
pleasure as Sally did the same.
When the blonde had once again laid herself out on the floor, Noin
joined her, taking the opportunity to acquaint herself with the lush
body in front of her. With deliberation, she traced the curves of
Sally's hips and legs, stroking her face along Sally's belly and
chest. With only the slightest hesitation, Noin held herself over the
blonde's chest. Sally could not see Noin's eyes, shadowed as they
were, but she could feel the other woman's breath coming in panting
gasps. Her skin felt that proverbial fire where Noin had touched her,
and a desire grew to feel Noin everywhere, within and without. But
that longing was lost in the sensation of curious fingers and tongue,
exploring her breasts, tasting the skin around and below them, the
soft areas around her aureoles, then lightly brushing across the
nipples. Sally's breath hissed out as a nip of Noin's teeth was
followed by another, and she cried out as Noin fastened her mouth on
the sensitive underside of one breast and sucked hard.
When Noin had finished with that task she transferred her attentions
to Sally's neck. Again Sally felt the pleasant pain of Noin's mouth
sucking at her hard enough to leave a mark. With a laugh, she pushed
the other woman off of her.
"I am *not* going into work tomorrow with hickeys," she announced
firmly and captured Noin's lips once again with her own. Tongues
played with each other and hands met and separated in their parallel
quests for intimate knowledge.
Sally pushed Noin flat onto the floor and held her there with one
hand. The dark eyes stared up in calm anticipation while Sally watched
the rise and fall of the black-haired woman's chest. Slowly, she
lifted a hand and spread it wide, then placed it on Noin's stomach.
With agonizing leisure, Sally dragged the hand down until it moved
through the short, dark curls between Noin's legs.
Noin moved below Sally, her body curving delightfully, back arching
with pleasure. A purring noise made Sally's lips pull back in a kind
of smile as she lowered her head to follow her hand. Noin's legs
opened to accept Sally's hands and mouth with another purr. Sally lay
down between Noin's legs and looked up at the woman she never expected
to have as a lover.
"Even if this never happens again," she said quietly, "I'll always
have this image in my mind."
Noin looked at Sally seriously. "Whether it will ever happen again
depends on what you do next." She reached out and buried her hands in
Sally's hair. With a smile for the other woman, she pressed down.
Sally buried her face in Noin's cleft, licking and sucking until
Noin's sighs and moans were louder than her own. When Noin lifted
herself, Sally entered her, never removing her mouth from Noin's clit.
The dark head whipped back and forth and, with a rasping groan ripped
from her throat, Noin came, the rippling waves of her orgasm thrusting
back at Sally delightfully.
Slowly Noin subsided, panting and heaving for breath, her hands still
clenched in Sally's hair, which had come unbound from its tight braid.
Sally rolled away from Noin and quickly undid the rest of the braid,
while Noin watched with unfocused eyes. Shaking out her hair, Sally
climbed up to embrace the dark-haired woman, who lifted a hand to
stroke the golden hair as it fell unbound onto Sally's shoulders.
"It's beautiful," Noin breathed, bringing a lock to her lips and
kissing it lightly. She looked up at Sally, then leaned forward and
kissed her just as lightly on the lips. "You're beautiful." She pulled
away a little to better focus on the other woman. "I want to taste
you," she said, making the statement a question.
Sally looked down at her, her eyes soft. "Not here." She smiled. "I
don't want to experience the look on the colonies' representative's
face when Une brings him here in the morning and they walk in on us."
She stood, scooping up various parts of clothing and handing over
Noin's to her.
Noin also stood and regarded the other woman with an intense stare.
"Sally," Noin reached out and grasped the blonde's wrist. "I meant
what I said."
Sally turned to face her. "Which thing you said? About us living
happily ever after, or wanting to..."
"Both," Noin interrupted quickly, unwilling to face Sally's
skepticism. "But mostly that this isn't a fluke." She took a deep
breath and looked towards the window. "I want to wake up tomorrow
morning with you – and the morning after."
Sally laughed musically. "Not even a whole date and already you're
ready to move in?" She shook her head. "Let's get through tonight and
we'll deal with tomorrow when we get there. Come on," she gestured at
Noin's pants, which the black-haired woman held in her hand, "I want
to take you up on at least one promise." She walked over to the desk,
jotted a quick, haphazard note, then returned to face the other woman.
Noin stared at Sally for a long moment, then broke out into a low
chuckle. "You never cease to amaze me."
"Now *that* is something I can totally believe," Sally said, and with
some strength, pulled a mostly-dressed Noin from the office, slamming
the door shut behind them.
------------------------------------------------------------
The early morning sun slanted in through the picture window, casting
long beams of sunlight onto the desk. The office door opened; Lady Une
stepped through and turned slightly, bowing.
"Please come in and make yourself comfortable," she spoke politely.
Une had opted for a less than military look for this meeting, but
anyone who had met her in her former incarnation would recognize the
significance of the maroon suit she wore.
The man who entered was of the "hearty" variety; a man who had carved
his early life out of hard rock and metal. His bluff thanks seemed out
of place with his finely tailored suit.
Une gestured him to a seat and offered to make tea for them. As she
stepped towards the bar, something caught her eye - a white object on
the floor near the wall. Stooping casually, she scooped the object up
before it would be noticed, then proceeded to the gas ring on the
counter. After setting water to heat, she joined the representative at
the desk. Une's mouth dropped slightly as she noticed and read the
sloppily written note on the desk surface, but she recovered
gracefully as she smiled across the desk at her visitor. As Une
continued with polite chatter, and the water heated in the pot, she
surreptitiously opened a drawer. Slipping the panties she had found on
the floor into the drawer, Une smiled down at the note.
"Noin and I are sleeping in late. Don't call. Sally."
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