The Lover After Me
[these are lyrics]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
[Here I go again I promised myself I
wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same way]
Did she ever realize the hold she had over me? Did she? My Sally Po, my
love. How much I love her, even now. Despite the fact that she is gone,
I can't get her off my mind. Every time I promise myself that I won't
think about her, I do. Everything that I felt still exists. The joy of
when I see her; the memories of our lovemaking; her taking me, and me
becoming hers and no one else's. Does she realize what she has done to
me?
[It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on]
I put on my Preventer uniform and leave our...my apartment. You know the
pillows on the bed still smell like you. I relish the fact that they do.
The only thing I have left besides the photos of us together. I keep a
stiff upper lip and don't cry; I won't cry. I must be strong.
I leave my apartment walking outside to get to work. Taking the same
path I've taken for years, the only difference is, you're not with me. I
pass the restaurant where we went on our first date. You were in a
sparkling black gown and me in a woman's tux. We received rude stares
but it was all worth it just to be with you. I look away from the
restaurant and keep walking, passing another building of remembrance,
the same building where we made love for the first time. I stop dead in
my tracks and stare at the building; I can't believe it. I can't forget
you.
[Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love to your lover now
To your love
The lover after]
I remember the day I came home early from work. It's so clear to me, I
walked up to the door and pulled out the keys to open the door but it
was already open and slightly ajar. I couldn't help but wonder what it
was doing open, instinct told me that someone could be in our place
robbing us, so I quietly pushed the door open and walked in. I heard a
soft groan from the bedroom, so I walked towards it. I peek through the
small crack and find you in bed with someone else. I was shocked,
because this is you we're talking about, you'd never do such a thing but
I was wrong. You were in bed with none other than the woman we report
to, Lady Une. I was heartbroken, even more so when you cried her name
after she made you come. I slammed the bedroom door shut and ran out of
the apartment. I heard you run after me and call my name but I couldn't
stop I was too hurt, too confused. Sally, why?
[Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway]
I had given you all my love, I had given you my heart, and soul and you
threw them away like they were worthless trinkets. I can't believe you
did that to me, Sally. You knew you meant the world to me and yet you
still did this to me. I can't believe this has all happened, it's still
so much like a dream to me and I pray each day that I'll wake up and
find out that it's not true and we're still together. You've broken me
Sally, heart, body, and soul.
[So this is my new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore]
I'm single again. Anou...the dating pool. Like I know what that is, do
you know what it's like to go to a bar and be hit upon by men and women.
Most of the time I find myself waking up in bed with some unknown
person. Yet every morning you still appear in my memory. During sex with
anyone else I replace him or her with you. I am hooked on you. Nothing
could make sense to one like me who is so hopelessly lost in the
emotions of sadness and pity. What ever shall I do?
[Without you I am always twenty minutes late]
Now more than ever, I find myself not caring about my life. I've popped
off to Une and everyone else so many times that it never ends. I'm
constantly late to work, and everywhere else. Nothing matters anymore to
me. I don't care; I just want you back. To bad that's not going to
happen. You packed your stuff, moved out, and moved in with Une. What
was I to you? A good lay?
[Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after]
Late at night now, I find myself touching myself, imagining it to be
you. It doesn't work because every time in my fantasies you call out
*her* name, not mine. The shadows of the moonlight play across my
sprawled out figure. I moan your name but I don't hear you say mine; it
hurts so much. Why do I have to suffer?
[And time goes by so slowly
The nights are so cold and lonely]
Weeks pass by as slow as ever, nothing happens quickly anymore. I wish
time would just speed up so I could get over you. I don't need you
anymore! I DON'T!
[I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you]
I can't help but think of you. You're in my every thought. I can't rid
myself of you, you there no matter what I do. You've put a spell on me,
a strong one. I'm yours, Sally, and no one else's. I hope you realized
that, even though you did leave me. You own my heart and you took it and
shattered it.
[Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I am standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on]
I finally reach the Preventers office; I'm late as usual. So I don't
even bother for her to call me to her office. I'll just go ahead and pay
Une a visit now and get it over with. I walk up to her door and open it,
to you spread out on her desk. I...I can't believe it, not again! Tears
befall my eyes and I begin to weep. I cry out your name softly but not
loud enough for you to hear. I can't move; I'm frozen in place. Une
takes you to the point on her desk. You're tossing your head back and
forth, that's when you see me. I know you can see the hurt in my eyes
but all I see in your eyes is passion.
[Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name]
She makes you come and you moan her name loudly. My god, Sally, I wish
that was me in your place and you doing that to me but it's not. I turn
around and run away again, this time for good. I can't face this
anymore; I will let you go this time, forever. There's just one thing I
want you to know Sally, no matter what, no matter who you are with, I
will always love you, regardless of the things that have come between
us.
[To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after]
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Don't blame me, blame my muse Tease!
Tease: HEY!!
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