Broken Heart
I took you under my wing and protected you. You gave me your love and I
gave you mine. We were happy. I was happy, but no more. That's the past
and I've been broken.
I remember when we first got together. We were a hit with everyone. No
one argued with us being together, Relena. I remember when you gave me
your first kiss. I had fallen asleep on your shoulder in the limo and
you leaned your head on top of mine gently and placed a soft kiss on my
forehead. It was so sweet; I completely melted. I believe if it was
possible, I fell in love with you even more that day.
Your smile dazzled me from day to day. Especially when you would show me
that smile meant only for me. I was so proud to have you as my own, and
I know you were proud to have me. Everyday I saw you I loved you even
more. My feelings grew and grew for you. Even now they still exist
somewhere beneath my shell of a heart. They're there but they've been
buried.
You told me that you loved me from the day you saw me, before you even
knew my name. Was that true or were you just pulling my leg? Can't you
understand what you have done to me? The pain you've caused. The
heartbreak? Do you even understand me anymore, Relena? I need to know!
Was everything we had for nothing? Did I love you just to have you break
me?
I'm getting ahead of myself. I can remember every detail of the day you
said to let you go. It's so clear; it's like crystal. I had walked into
your office; you were working on some business papers and told me to
wait a moment. I did so happily, anything for you, anything at all. You
finally finished your work and turned to me, a sad aura surrounded you.
I instantly froze. No! Something is wrong, very wrong! I ran over to you
quickly, grasping you hand and petting it. I ask you what's wrong and
you say let go. I let go of your hand and once again ask what is wrong.
You repeat yourself and say let go. I'm confused, what do you mean? I
stand up and begin to shake, you couldn't possibly mean...
My fears were confirmed. You gave me a whole entire speech, that I did
not know you for who you really are, that I am completely in the dark
about the *real* you. I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I turned
around. You would not see me cry. I won't give you that pleasure. I
spoke so slowly. If you wanted me to let you go, I would. If that's what
you want, I'll let you go, no questions asked.
So that how it was, I left her like she told me too. Does she even
realize what she has done to me? I was her backbone, her support, but in
reality it was the other way around. You were my support and backbone,
and without you I am nothing but a pile of mush. You've broken me
without a doubt. I gave you my heart; my love, my soul, and you took
them and shredded them to pieces. I'm crushed, hurt, barely breathing
anymore. Please someone just kill me. I want it to end now.
Hardly a day goes by now anymore when I do not cry. During the day, I
may seem okay to everyone but the moment I reach home I instantly break
down. The tears come so quickly it's not even funny. The others have
tried to comfort me but it's not working anymore. I'm beyond comfort,
what I need is release.
Relena, I began dating you because I loved you and also because I had no
faith in men. They had done me so much wrong that I never wanted to date
another one. I thought that maybe with women I could be happy. I thought
with you I could be happy, but I was wrong. I no longer have faith in
anyone anymore because of you. My heart lies in four pieces now, broken
and showcased for all to see. Wondering what those four pieces are? I'll
tell you what they are: love, hate, pain, and sorrow. Those emotions
reverberate throughout my body, but I know how to end it all. I'll end
it tonight, Relena. I just want you to know that during our
relationship, I regret only one thing. I regret never kissing you on the
lips. Just once...
~*~*~*~*
Relena looked up from the note and looked at the gravestone. She walked
up to it and placed a single white rose on it. She kneeled down in
prayer, lifting her head to only read the epitaph:
Lucrezia Noin
AC 176 - AC 204
May she find the peace
she didn't find in this life.
Relena stood back up and brushed the tears away from her eyes, she
mustn't be sad. She caused this and she knew it. There was nothing she
could've done to stop Noin from slitting her wrists then throat. It was
all over; she had lost. Relena bit back the tears, she hadn't meant to
let her go, she just didn't want to hurt her, but it seems she did
anyway. She had challenged love and lost.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moral? Love is a tricky thing to navigate, be sure to bring a compass
when you get lost. *wanders off to write more angst* BTW Does this fic
even make sense?
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