King's Heart (part 13 of 31)

Peer Into Heaven

Xu stumbled through the mist, carrying Quistis’s body. She couldn’t find anyone, everyone was gone.

“Squall! Selphie! Zell, Irvine! Anyone please...help her!” She stumbled, letting Quistis’s body fall and roll away. She got up, wiping away her tears only to have new ones spring to her eyes when she looked at the still body of her love. She crawled over and cradled her head to her chest, weeping openly.

“PLEASE! SOMEONE! Don’t...don’t let her die...please...wake up...” She sobbed, closing her eyes. Quistis was going to die...they had all abandoned her. She had tried to cure her, to do anything but she wouldn’t wake up. Those azure blue eyes would never open again, never sparkle with happiness, never tear up with sadness, never look upon the face of the woman she had fallen in love with.

-

Xu awoke with a jolt and instinctively brought her hands up to find her face streaked with tears. Her jacket fell to the floor. She wiped them away, looking around to see if anyone had seen her.

“Quistis...” she whispered, almost panicking before she saw her lying on the bed. That’s right...she thought. They had returned...Squall and the others arrived just in time to carry Quistis onto the Ragnarok. Xu had been so weak from fright that she had fainted, something a SeeD was never allowed to do. But all that pressure, anxiety, and fear had done her in and she remembered passing into black bliss. A week had passed since then. Kadowaki examined Quistis’s body and found absolutely nothing wrong with the Instructor. Apart from a lower than average heart rate and some minor breathing difficulties, she was perfectly normal. Xu stood up and walked over to her side, gently running the back of her fingers along her cheek.

“Wake up...please...” She had been in a coma ever since. Kadowaki wasn’t sure if she would ever wake up or even remember anything. Would you remember what you said to me? Xu wondered. Had Quistis been delirious when she said that she still loved her. Xu wanted to believe her words but she was unsure. She shivered. It was unusually cold that night.

“Everyone misses you so much. But I miss you the most.” She whispered. She had gotten used to talking to Quistis, maybe she could hear her. She kissed her gently on the forehead and watched her for a moment. Her heart ached to see her like this. Sure, the others visited, more often Zell and the library girl than anyone and she appreciated that they did that. But she couldn’t help but feel that somehow, they had failed to prevent this from happening. She sighed and walked back to her chair, retrieved her jacket from the ground and tried to go back to sleep.

It was a chilly morning when Quistis Trepe awoke. She shivered first then went pale. The first thing she saw was white tile and she thought she was in another lab. She almost panicked until she saw Xu and then she calmed down considerably. She observed her in her peaceful sleep and took notice of every detail.

Xu was normally a very proper, very organized and clean girl. Not as obsessive about it as Quistis but would still love to keep her uniform in order. But now, Quistis noted, she looked in complete disarray. Her hair stuck out at every angle possible, her jacket hung off her shoulders. Her tie was loose and skewed and her shirt was no longer tucked neatly into her skirt nor wrinkle free. In fact, there were thousands of wrinkles. A few of the top buttons had come loose too. Her eyes traveled down. Xu’s skirt slipped down seductively low and Quistis shivered with desire. My head hurts and I’m completely sore...she thought. She tried to remember what had happened and instantly regretted it when she did. All the memories of torture flooded back but that wasn’t what bothered her. She tried to remember what she had said to Xu before she had passed out.

And...? She thought back, feeling rebellious. Maybe I do. No, I know I do.

You saw the power that you have, you know you’ll hurt her now. You’re a danger to society, you should die.

No. You’re the one who’s causing me pain. She shut out the voice and sighed. It was as if that sigh alone woke Xu up. At first, she murmured in her sleep and then her eyes opened. She looked around the room, still sleepy until her eyes met blue ones. Instantly she shot out of her seat.

“QUISTIS! OH MY HYNE!” She gasped rushing to her bedside. “Are you ok? Do you feel alright? Do you need me to get you anything, water, food?”

“Calm down...” She giggled.

“I can’t believe it...” Xu whispered, embracing her.

“Xu...wait...what I said to you...”

“I know...you didn’t mean it but...” Xu trailed off and kissed her, relieved to have her back alive, even if she didn’t return the feelings. But I do...Quistis thought before Xu pulled her closer.

Dr. Kadowaki opened the door, hearing some commotion. Her eyes shot open when she saw the scene before her. She stood stunned for a moment but neither seemed to notice, to engrossed in passion to care. She shook her head and walked back outside, closing the door in the process.

-

-

“QUISTIS!!” Both Zell and Selphie’s scream reverberated throughout not just the infirmary but the entire Garden. They rushed in to get a hug, fighting each other in the process. Selphie won, leaving Zell sprawled on the floor, cursing in a number of different ways as he curled up in pain.

“Selphie...Selphie!” Quistis hissed, not quite able to breathe and hurting because she was squeezing too hard. Xu had the sudden urge to pry the petit girl off but she stood against the wall, looking disapprovingly at her. She tried to convince herself that it was not jealousy...no not jealousy at all. Quistis caught her eye and smiled at the look on her face. She winked, making Xu feel a little embarrassed.

“My turn!” Zell regained his footing and shoved Selphie to the side, stealing a hug of his own, nearly suffocating her as well.

“We thought we had lost you!!” Selphie said, getting to her feet and dusting herself off, shooting a glare Zell’s way in the process.

“Xu here nearly killed everyone on sight for losing you.” Ayane, the library girl, mentioned. Quistis looked over at Xu and cocked an eyebrow.

“Is that so?”

“What happened? Rinoa told me what had happened up to the point where she was knocked out. What happened to you?” Squall asked, leaning against the wall. Quistis sighed, she didn’t want to remember at all. It was much too painful for her but she knew it was her duty. Xu cast him a dirty look.

“She’s been through a lot, Squall, can’t you cut her a little slack?”

“Xu, it’s alright.” Quistis reassured. “Well, after I woke up, I woke up in a lab, strapped to that sort of torturing device that they used on you, Squall, in the D-District prison. They were electrocuting me and testing my brainwaves for some reason. But after the third one...I remember feeling nothing but anger. That’s all I remember. Next thing I knew, I saw Xu standing there.” Squall looked to Xu expectantly. She looked to the ground.

“When Zell and I found her, she was standing but her eyes were glowing back. Every single scientist had been gruesomely killed.” Quistis bit her lip.

“Quistis, I’m so sorry!” Rinoa blurted. “I should’ve been there for you, I should’ve protected you. But I was weak...I couldn’t do anything. You were sick and hurt and I could’ve lost you forever!” She nearly burst into tears.

“Oh, Rinoa, hon, I’m fine now...”

“But you could’ve...”

“Stop blaming yourself.” She reassured. “Look, what we encountered in that dungeon was something neither of us could stop.” She walked over and hugged the Instructor tenderly.

“I wonder what happened...” Irvine said, looking at her meaningfully. Quistis couldn’t keep what she knew could be true inside anymore.

“I think I killed them.” Everyone went silent for a moment before she spoke up again. “They took your ring, Squall.”

“I know, Rinoa told me and that’s proof enough for me that Ultimecia’s rise is not far. If anything, they wanted to give the ring to Ultimecia so that she could summon Griever. But I don’t think they’ve found her. There hasn’t been much activity anywhere.”

“Galbadia is denying any involvement.” Irvine said. “They say that it must be a renegade band or something, either way, they’re not giving any information at all about what’s going on. And frankly, I’m not sure they even have any information.” Xu looked at all of them. Quistis shook her head, trying to get the thought out of her mind but she couldn’t deny the possibility.

“Squall, I think I may have Ultimecia’s power.” A collective gasp went up from everyone as well as a number of heads snapping to her direction. “Seifer may have Ultimecia’s memories but I think that I have the bulk of her power.”
“That’s impossible! Rinoa has...”

“Matron’s powers. Matron herself was a sorceress before Ultimecia passed on her powers to her. When she got rid of them, I must’ve received Ultimecia’s share.” The room went deathly silent. Xu had suspected this but actually hearing it made her so weak that she wanted to sit down. Quistis looked over to their leader. “Squall...”

“I’m not going to do anything.” He replied, startling everyone. Rinoa looked at him gratefully. “You’re one of our friends, Quistis and if I didn’t contain Seifer, there’s no chance I would contain you. But mark my words, we’ll protect you if it takes everyone of us to do it.” Xu was grateful too but she couldn’t help but wonder if they were protecting Quistis or themselves from Ultimecia. She shook her head to banish the evil notion. Quistis looked at him with earnest eyes.

“I’m in, there’s no chance I’d pass up protecting a lady, specially such a pretty lady such as yourself.” Irvine said, tipping his hat. Selphie shot him a look of fake contempt but she couldn’t help but smile.

“He’s right, the big oaf. No evil sorceress lady’ll come within miles of you! Uh...not counting Rinoa...” she added, looking at Rinoa nervously.

“Hell yeah!” Zell piped up. “No bitch is going to get our favorite Instructor!”

“Zell, watch your language.” Quistis scolded automatically. He scratched the back of his head, embarrassed by such reprimand. “But...thank you...everyone...”

-

-

The others stayed until late afternoon, filling Quistis in on every detail that had occurred in the Garden while she was in a coma. The Trepies apparently had completely gone berserk and organized a massive “Save Trepe” fund which garnered quite a bit of money even though it was not necessary. All the extra cash went to funding the Infirmary though. But in the end, Squall and Rinoa had to leave, since Squall had to attend a conference to deal with Seifer’s stay at the Garden. Irvine and Selphie were the next to leave, feeling hungry. The last ones to leave were Zell and Ayane who were also driven by hunger and fatigue.

“It’s so nice to see that everyone’s ok.” Quistis sighed, settling back on the soft pillows. Xu smiled at her. “How are you?”

“So much better now...” An awkward silence passed between them. Both were yearning for each other but couldn’t quite say it. “What I did yesterday...” she began. “It was completely wrong of me. I should’ve backed off when you turned me down...I still love you but I guess you don’t return that feelings.” As Xu said this, tears spilled down her cheeks. “I hope we can still be friends...”

No...Quistis thought. I love you too, no...don’t do this to me...

See? It’s better this way. Xu stood up and stuck her hands in her pockets. Something poked her hand and she withdrew it, holding the Quistis card in her hand. She wiped her eyes.

“I keep forgetting to give this to you.” She said, setting the card down on the nightstand. She stood up and moved toward the door.

WAIT! Quistis thought fiercely.

Let her go.

...Never. No more...She stood up, shaking a little but the thought that she may never get to tell Xu how she truly felt, the fear of separation lent her strength. Just as Xu touched the doorknob, she felt Quistis’s arms wrap around her.

“Don’t go...” She whispered.

“Quistis...”

“Xu...I meant was I said. I still love you. I need you to be here with me...please.”

“I don’t want to be hurt again.” The words tore through Quistis and hurt more than any monster or torture.

“I won’t hurt you. I really love you, Xu, you have to believe me.” She rested her forehead against Xu’s back. Both of them cried silently.

“Really?” She whispered, hardly daring to believe it. She turned around and Quistis kissed her, showing her exactly how much she meant it. Xu was scared but she was happy at the same time.

“Stay...” Quistis whispered, waiting timidly for the reply. She was flinging herself into the unknown, somewhere she dared not venture since she last fell in love. Xu nodded and both surrendered themselves to each other, all loneliness banished, if only for that moment. They were finally together and somehow, complete, whole yet still yearning for more knowledge of the endless limits to where their love could take them. Inside her mind, Hyne roared with anger but Quistis no longer heard it so clearly. And for them that seemed to be enough.