Frozen (part 15 of 100)

a Final Fantasy 8 fanfiction by Chendzeea Li

Back to Part 14
Champagne

Quistis led the way towards the central elevator. Fujin meanwhile 
strolled quietly behind her, lost in thought. Things where happening to 
fast, she had trouble keeping up. She’d completely fell apart upon 
witnessing Quistis’s near death. She did not know what to make of it. 
Quistis was a friend now that much was certain. "Perhaps even more." She 
mused inwardly. Either way though the simple fact remained she was not 
as cold, aloof and in control as she thought. It troubled her, she was 
not sure how much though. The emotional release, albeit embarrassing, 
was almost welcome.

Quistis meanwhile had come through the darkness and was confronting her 
demons. She tried to kill herself, simple as that. She’d let her 
self-loathing and loneliness consume her. She was busily coming to terms 
with this and was actually feeling a lot better. She realized that she 
had spent all her life helping others dealing with their problems. Not 
that she minded, she loved caring for people, but in all that time she 
never once learned to deal with her own troubles. So they just kept 
building until they buried her.

She wasn’t like Squall, or Seifer, or even dear Fujin. She couldn’t seal 
away her trouble with a wall of indifference or anger. They always sat 
right below the surface. She used to think she was weak because of it. 
She’d go home at the end of the each day and let them torture her. With 
no one to share her private pains she had slowly driven herself insane. 
Sure Rinoa and the others tried to help her but none of them could 
relate to her so where of little help. Sadly they made matters worse 
more often than not. "Not their fault you’re a screw up." She chided 
herself.

When they arrived at the elevator and Quistis suddenly grinned wickedly 
at Fujin.

"Your place or mine?" She asked with a grin that was jokingly 
flirtatious. Fujin blinked several times, not catching the intended 
humor. Quistis gave up the vain attempt at levity, then regarded her 
seriously.

"Actually can we go to yours? I really don’t want to go home right now, 
considering everything that’s happened. Besides we went to my place last 
time." She said hopefully. Fujin rolled the idea in her head. Her place 
was not really equipped for guests in the least. The only furniture she 
had was for basic solitary needs only. Still she saw no harm and 
relented with a sigh.

"FAIR." She said as they stepped into the elevator. Quistis smiled and 
went to hit the sub basement button, as did Fujin. Quistis caught her 
error to late and quietly withdrew her hand and hoped Fujin didn’t 
notice. Fujin did notice but did not let on to the fact.

"How does she know where I’ve been staying." Fujin wondered, she liked 
her privacy and only Cid and Squall knew where she was staying.

"She must have come looking for me after I left. One of them probably 
told her." She reasoned.

Quistis was torn now. She had no idea how Fujin would react to her 
having been in her home while she was away, much less sleeping there. 
Just like she had no idea how she got there to begin with, the whole 
event was fuzzy to her. Fujin stopped the elevator mid level and 
unlocked the panel to open it. The doors slid open revealing the 
entrance to Norg’s former chamber.

As they stepped into the cool, dimly lit interior. Quistis decided to 
tell the truth about coming here before.

"Fu.." She caught herself. "Fujin, there’s something I should tell you."

"I KNOW." Fujin said simply and walked past her, slipping between the 
hanging silk that served as semi-translucent walls.

"You do?" Quistis slumped.

"NOT BLIND." She replied over her shoulder as she picked up a couple of 
towels from atop a footlocker. She then sat down at small but functional 
table near her bed.

"Oh. Well I’m sorry either way." Quistis said, still standing by the 
door, and fidgeting awkwardly. Fujin peeled her shoes off and made a 
face at the smell before tossing the offending footwear into a near 
wastebasket. Glancing up she saw Quistis and shook her head in 
amusement.

"NOT MAD, SIT" Fujin assured her as she unwrapped the brace around her 
ankle.

Quistis walked towards the center of the large chamber. Finding no other 
chair and not wanting to get the bed wet she sat in the floor. Fujin 
offered her a towel and went back to tending her foot.

Quistis took the towel and started drying her hair as she watched her 
host with quiet interest. Fujin was in her element she noted. She was at 
ease here and it showed. Her features had softened considerably and she 
wasn’t as stiff and mechanical as usual.

Even through the wear and tear she had endured she looked quite lovely 
in Quistis’s opinion. The ever-changing hues of blue light that danced 
about the room made Fujin’s pale skin seem to glow hauntingly. The 
effect was beautiful and Quistis could not help but smile a warm smile.

Fujin finished unwrapping her ankle and massaged it gingerly, she 
noticed Quistis staring at her and had a bout of self consciousness.

"STARING?" She asked, slightly defensive.

"You’re beautiful did you know that." Quistis said unflinching as she 
ran her fingers through the soft white fur rug that carpeted the area 
around the bed. Fujin looked as if she was about to burst out laughing.

"BLIND." Came her dubious reply.

"I mean it Fu, honestly." Quistis said sincerely as she repositioned 
herself to sit at Fujin’s feet. "RIDICULOUS." Fujin smirked dryly and 
watched her with a somewhat wary expression.

"If you say." Quistis wasn’t about to argue with her. With a caring 
smile she took possession of Fujin’s wounded ankle.

"WHAT?" "Fujin started.

"Shush. Let me help." Quistis whispered as she gently caressed and 
massaged the badly bruised ankle. Fujin did as she was told and sat 
quietly. The woman sitting at her feet was a mystery Fujin realized. 
Just when she thought she had her figured out she showed another facet. 
She trusted Quistis though, that much was certain.

"WHY?" Fujin asked with an uncharacteristically soft tone.

"Hmm?" Quistis murmured, without looking up from her careful 
ministrations.

"WHY." She asked again with a look of confusion.

"Why what hon?" Quistis replied, looking up at her, her eyes sparkling 
under the blue light.

"CARE?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She countered whimsically before 
closing her eyes.

"She has you there." Fujin admitted to herself. She looked curiously as 
Quistis cradled her leg. Abruptly Quistis opened her eyes and they 
flashed brightly for a brief moment. Fujin nearly fell out of the chair 
in surprise as a small luminescent whirlwind surrounded the both of 
them. The slight breeze brought on by the magic made the silk curtains 
dance about wildly. Then just as quickly the effect faded leaving them 
both glowing with a soft white light. As the glow faded so did the angry 
bruises and burns that Fujin had gathered during her trip. Quistis 
looked up with a grin.

"How’s the ankle?"

Fujin rolled her ankle around then stood, testing her weight on it.

"FUNCTIONAL." She replied then bowed respectfully. "THANK YOU."

"My pleasure." Quistis stood and looked about the room. "I love what 
you’ve done here by the way, very peaceful and relaxing."

Fujin didn’t say anything but gave a nod of thanks.

Quistis gestured to the cooler containing the champagne "Shall we?"

Fujin shook her head no and knelt by the footlocker. Opening it she 
retrieved a pair of mog patterned pajama bottoms and a large white tank 
top.

"SHOWER." She stated, gesturing towards a small shower walled in by 
frosted glass. It sat nestled in the back of the chamber.

"Oh of course, go ahead." Quistis nodded understandingly.

Fujin pointed Quistis’s rain soaked sundress.

"SHOWER?, CLOTHES?" She offered.

"Thanks, I may take you up on that."

Fujin nodded then slipped through the silk curtains towards the shower. 
Quistis looked about, and found a few plastic cups atop a knee-high 
refrigerator. She retrieved two of them, then sat at Fujin’s desk to 
await her return.

"Want me to fix something to eat? I’m sure you’re hungry?" Quistis 
called to her.

"YOUR CHOICE." Fujin replied.

"Okay." Quistis said her voice trailing away as she glanced in Fujin’s 
direction. She could faintly see her through the silk curtains. Fujin’s 
back was to her as she slipped out of her garments. Quistis gasped 
softly and grew flush. Without realizing it she let her eyes linger a 
moment before looking away.

"What’s wrong with you!?" She berated herself as she kept herself busy 
by searching for something to make snacks out of.

Quistis always considered herself a very passionate woman, even though 
she’d never had real experience in the field. The thoughts and feelings 
she had been having lately where definitely different than any she had 
before. Of course she did not reject them, she saw no reason to. She 
could care less what other people thought, her desires where hers alone 
to deal with.

She’d meant what she said when she told Fujin she was beautiful. She 
smiled at the thought of exploring new paths.

"Perhaps I’ve always felt like this and never realized it until now." 
That was a depressing thought she realized.

"I’ve been looking for that special someone in the completely wrong 
place?" She shook her head and sighed.

"I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t even know how I really feel, and 
more importantly how she feels." She admitted to herself glumly.

"I could just be clingy and desperate for attention and anyone would 
do." Quistis’s heart ached at that thought and she knew that wasn’t 
true. She made herself try not to think about it any further, especially 
considering the emotional roller coaster she’d been on tonight. So she 
turned her mind onto the snacks she would be brewing up.

She surveyed the spoils of her search and frowned visibly. Two bags of 
chips, an aging but edible bell pepper, four red apples and several 
types military rations. None of which went well with champagne.

"WELL?" Fujin blurted from directly behind her. Quistis spun around 
startled and gasped. Fujin simply looked at her unblinkingly.

"You love doing that don’t you." Quistis said, eyeing her through slit 
eyes. "Well what?"

Fujin nodded to the assorted pile of foodstuffs. Quistis shrugged with 
slight dismay.

"Well it’s food, that’s a start." She said with a grin.

Fujin nodded solemnly, then frowned.

"NOT HOST." She admitted with a bit of shame in her voice.

"It’s okay, really." Quistis gave her an assuring smile. "I’m not that 
hungry anyway, my stomachs been doing flip flops tonight."

"AGREEMENT." Considering all that’d happened, Fujin wasn’t terribly 
hungry either.

They stood regarding each other in awkward silence before Quistis 
sheepishly slipped past Fujin. Her earlier thoughts tickled the back of 
her mind, making her uneasy.

"I’m going to go ahead and take a shower if that’s okay." Quistis 
pointed to the shower then toyed with her hair absently. She caught 
herself and stopped, then wordlessly made her way towards the shower.

"CLOTHES." Fujin pointed out.

Quistis felt a bit foolish as she kneeled by the locker and gingerly 
fished for something to wear. She settled on a simple T-shirt and black 
shorts, she held them up for Fujin’s approval.

"These okay?"

Fujin was leaning on the counter watching her curiously, she simply 
nodded and waved her on.

"Thanks." Quistis said shyly before slipping through the curtains 
towards the shower.

Fujin opened the cooler and retrieved the Champagne. She set it atop her 
nightstand next to the glasses. Sitting down at the center of the bed, 
she folded her legs and closed her eyes. She settled herself and eased 
her mind to gather her thoughts.

She still worried about Quistis. She’d completely reversed her mood 
Fujin realized. An hour or so ago she’d been ready to leap to her death 
and now she was acting as if nothing was wrong. Fujin was no 
psychologist but she could tell that was out of sorts. She decided to 
keep a close eye on her and perhaps learn a something new about herself 
in the process. She was still very nervous about her present situation 
but was determined to see how it played out. She just hoped it would 
work for the best. One thing was certain, she had to be strong now, and 
not just for herself. She knew Quistis was having a hard time now and 
desperately needed someone to lean on. Fujin, to her surprise realized 
that she was eager to help.

Quistis stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. 
Rubbing her forehead she moaned softly. The shower had helped clear her 
mind and she felt sick at the cold realizations that accosted her. She 
kept seeing the look of anguish on Fujin’s face when she nearly fell. 
Quistis thought she wanted to die, she really believed it and meant to 
go through with it. Though if Fujin’s reaction were any clue as to what 
her death would have meant to her friends.

"How could I have done that to them." She thought, horrified at what she 
nearly did.

"Oh Hyne I’m so sorry." She whispered softly. She saw Fujin sitting on 
the bed seemingly meditating or some such.

"I’ve been so selfish." Quistis frowned as she blinked back tears.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes, she did not want to make matters worse 
by falling apart again.

Getting dressed she oddly noticed how the clothes made her feel safe and 
secure. Shivering warmly at the thought she quietly made her way towards 
her friend. Sliding through the hanging veils of silk she knelt by the 
bed.

Fujin sat silent and still, her lips slightly parted as if she where 
asleep. Quistis watched her with warm admiration. She seemed so in 
control of herself.

"I wish I had your strength." Quistis thought.

Fujin felt her presence and opened her eye to look at her.

"I’m sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you." Quistis whispered, her eyes 
dancing over Fujin’s expressionless face. Fujin tilted her head to 
regard her then scooted over to make room.

Quistis slid onto the bed and sat cross-legged facing her. She glanced 
at the clock, it was nearing 1:00AM, she was still to juiced up with 
adrenaline to be tired though. Fujin on the other hand looked very 
tired, even though she was obviously still very alert.

"You okay?" Quistis asked noticing Fujin watching her. Fujin nodded and 
rubbed her throat apologetically

"You have been far more talkative lately, a lot of that’s my fault I 
suppose." Quistis said sheepishly before nabbing the Champagne off the 
nightstand.

"I’ve been wanting to talk with you about something’s, if that’s okay?" 
Wincing she pulled desperately at the cork. "I mean it’s up to you 
though, we can talk later if your not up to it." She grunted and cursed 
under her breath as the cork refused to be removed. Fujin reached out, 
wrapping her hands around the bottle and gently removed it from 
Quistis’s grip.

"TALK." She said simply as she grabbed a cup, then nonchalantly yanked 
the cork out with an audible pop. She poured some into the and handed it 
to Quistis. She then pored herself a glass before setting the bottle 
back on the table.

"Show off." Quistis said smirking. Fujin just shrugged her shoulders 
slightly.

Quistis stared into the cup a moment before taking a sip.

"Well." She started tentatively. "First I’ll just come out and say it." 
She sighed and looked up.

"I’m really glad you came back. I know we’ve only just started to get to 
know each other, but I was very worried when I learned you’d left." She 
took another sip and waited a moment before continuing.

"To be honest I was worried that it was my fault. I mean after 
everything..." She stopped and took a flustered breath.

"I didn’t mean to." She had no idea how to continue and tried to read 
Fujin’s expression, to no avail. Quistis looked at her with a mix of 
worry and hope etched into her face.

Fujin took a drink and with a soft sigh she looked away. Quistis grew 
solemn.

"It was my fault then." Quistis closed her eyes and hung her head in 
dismay. "Oh Fu I’m sorry." She tried feebly.

Fujin slowly turned her gaze back to Quistis.

"DIFFICULT." She said gently but her expression was tense and nervous. 
Quistis regarded her with caring eyes.

"What’s difficult?"

Fujin looked at her intently and opened her mouth to speak but stopped, 
she slumped and rubbed her eye with her palm.

"You okay hon?" Quistis reached out to lightly touch her shoulder. Fujin 
nodded and regarded her once more.

"EXPRESSION, FEELINGS" Fujin said huskily, it was not so much the 
talking that troubled her but the sharing of emotions. All of her adult 
life she had learned to bury them deep down. It was difficult to 
overcome what came natural, to lower her defenses. She’d done so earlier 
by accident and now Quistis was trying to get her to do so again. She 
wasn’t mad though, if anything she was flattered.

"NOT ACCUSTOMED." Fujin closed her eye and frowned, she was growing 
angry with herself for her social failings.

"FEAR...FRIENDSHIP." She choked out angrily, frustration apparent as she 
hung her head again and sighed.

Quistis sat patiently, she decided to give her all the time she needed. 
It was obvious how much, opening up distressed her.

"She never asked for any of this." She chided herself.

"You don’t have.." She started.

"I DO!" Fujin snapped, far more harshly than she’d meant to. Quistis 
took it in stride and sat quiet.

Fujin gathered herself and looked at her apologetically.

"NO FRIENDS." She said evenly, her gaze locking on Quistis, her 
expression softening considerably. "UNTIL YOU."

Quistis smiled warmly and blushed.

"Fu..." She whispered but Fujin held up a palm stopping her.

"UNKNOWN, CONFUSED" Her tone growing slightly exasperated.

"FEAR, FLED." She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed.

Quistis nodded with understanding.

"I’m sorry Fu, I never meant to chase you away." She apologized 
sincerely and started to rise. "I can go, if you want me to. I’ll 
understand."

"NEGAT.. NO." Fujin dismissed her suggestions firmly.

"LISTEN." She said intensely. "THINKING, CHANGED." She gestured to 
herself.

"I don’t understand?" Quistis frowned sadly..

"RETURNED, BECAUSE YOU." Fujin admitted with a shaky voice.

"Me..?" Quistis blinked, genuinely surprised..

"QUISTIS CARED." Fujin said softly her lips trembling.

Quistis hated seeing her struggle so she wanted to hold and comfort her.

"COULD NOT, ABANDON." Fujin finished, her voice a near whisper.

She sighed then coughed harshly prompting her to take a drink to soothe 
her throat. Quistis bit her lip with worry then gently took Fujin’s hand 
in hers. Fujin twitched at the touched but welcomed it.

"Thank you." Quistis murmured then squeezed her hand affectionately; 
Fujin cherished the gesture and smiled softly.

Quistis returned the smile with her own shy grin.

"You’ve a lovely smile, you should show it more often." She said 
playfully. Fujin folded her arms and gave a faint chuckle.

"NONSENSE." She proclaimed proudly

"Oh here we go again."

Fujin looked slighted and gave her a expectant look.

"That’s not going to work on me." Quistis said with a impish grin.

She took another sip, her eyes smiling brightly from over the cup. Fujin 
settled back against the large mound of pillows that lay at the head of 
her bed.

"CLASS TRIP?" She asked.

"Your changing the subject." Quistis grinned, but let it go. "What about 
it?"

"WHY ESTHAR?"

Quistis thought a moment and shrugged.

"The class was doing well, and it just seemed like a good idea."

"FATE."

"Perhaps; who knows?" Quistis shrugged. She set her cup on the floor and 
stretched out to lie on her stomach. Propping her head in her hands she 
watched Fujin curiously.

"I had dreams about you." She finally stated with a bluntness that 
nearly caused Fujin to choke on her drink. She set her cup down and 
looked confused.

"Cute. Honestly though, one was rather terrifying." She shivered at the 
thought. "I was alone out on some godforsaken tracks during a 
thunderstorm. I don’t know how I got there, but I found you by this run 
down building." She paused to sort it out in her mind. She thought it 
best to not mention the tragic but romantic overtones of the dream.

"You where hurt bad and dying. I tried to call to you to help but I had 
to leave." She could have cried at the memory of it. "Then, tonight when 
I saw you on the roof." She sighed heavily. "I thought you were a 
ghost." Quistis searched for some clue in Fujin’s expression. She knew 
something had happened during her journey, she felt it deep down and 
could tell by her mannerisms.

Fujin lay still and quiet, she didn’t show it but she was more than a 
little unsettled by the story. The hairs on the back of her neck stood 
up and she felt chilled.

"STRANGE." She said with a haunted expression, she had thought the 
visage of Quistis was a fever dream or simple hallucination. Now it 
seems they shared the same dream. Either way it was far too strange to 
be coincident.

"Yes strange." Quistis murmured, Fujin was indeed hiding something. 
"Well at least your okay, that’s what matters."

"AND YOU?"

"What about me?"

"OKAY."

"What do you mean?" Quistis looked at her quizzically.

"YOU KNOW."

"Oh, I guess I will be."

"GUESS?"

"I Think so, It’s just that things haven’t happened like they are 
supposed to, you know?"

Fujin nodded solemnly.

"It’s all rather selfish I guess." She rubbed her temples and rolled 
over on her back. Gazing upwards at the ceiling, she thought about what 
the future would hold.

"Fujin?" She asked after a long pause.

"Hmm?" Fujin looked at her sleepily.

"Do you have dreams?"

"EXPLAIN?"

"You know, hopes and dreams. Children, picket fences, house and home, 
all that nonsense."

"NOT ANYMORE." Said with startling honesty. Fujin had no desire to 
ponder such things anymore.

Quistis rolled back over and scooted up beside her.

"That’s sad, why not?"

"TRUTH?"

"Yes."

"WHY TRY."

"What?"

"NO HOPE."

"That’s not true, there always hope." Quistis said sadly.

Fujin looked at her unconvinced.

"YOU GAVE UP." She said softly but with a bit of accusation. Quistis was 
taken aback by her bluntness. She looked away ashamed at herself.

"Yes I did." She murmured sadly as she rolled on her side facing away 
from her.

Fujin sat silent, she was mad at herself for saying what she did. 
Quistis was only trying to reach out to her. She looked up and sighed in 
dismay.

"Stupid Fujin real stupid." She scolded herself.

She looked down at Quistis, she seemed so vulnerable, all curled up as 
she was. Fujin rubbed her eye with her palm cursing herself.

"APOLOGY." She whispered the best she could.

Quistis shrugged and sniffled lightly. Fujin sat quiet wrestling with 
herself, she was sorely unaccustomed to this sort of thing.

Quistis had no idea what to do now. She’d failed to kill herself and now 
she’d failed whatever expectations Fujin held of her. Try as she might 
things just kept going awry. She shuttered weakly as silent tears began 
to flow down her cheeks. She felt Fujin shift behind her and the lights 
dimmed down to a dark midnight blue. She was caught by surprise when a 
hand delicately touched her shoulder; she had an urge to slide it away.

Feeling Fujin’s breath against her neck she turned to face her. Fujin 
lay beside her with a worried and sorrowful expression. They gazed 
quietly at each other for a long while, the hurt they shared quickly 
draining away. Fresh tears began to well in Quistis’s eyes and Fujin 
reached out a shaky hand to gently wipe them away.

Quistis smiled delicately at the touch and took her hand in hers, 
bringing it to her lips she kissed the palm softly. Fujin gasped faintly 
at the gesture and slowly withdrew her hand. She shivered deliciously, 
as long forgotten emotions and feelings stirred within her. Quistis 
smiled a hopeful smile and snuggled close. Fujin welcomed her awkwardly, 
hugging her close. Quistis returned the embrace with a shaky sigh and 
rested her head against her chest.

They held each other close, and for a moment they forgot the pain they 
held inside. Until finally the only thing that mattered, was that for 
the first time, neither felt alone. Sleep soon overtook them and in 
their dreams, unfettered by fear and uncertainties, they knew love.

***************************

Outside, the rain had stopped and Balamb Garden started to move out of 
the city. On the roof Edea stood quietly staring into the night sky, a 
warm smile on her lips and an air of calm about her. A great tragedy was 
narrowly avoided, for now anyway. She knew the two had a rough road 
ahead of them. Together though, she prayed, they would persevere. With a 
last look out over the horizon she turned and went inside.

End Chapter 15

Authors note

This chapter is a culmination of sorts, but in a way it’s also the start 
of a larger tale. I hope I can continue make the story as entertaining 
as possible. To everyone who has read it I’d like to give a thank you 
for sharing a bit of your time to read my story. To everyone who has 
reviewed it for better or for worse I’d like to thank you also, your 
opinions mean a lot to me and drive me onward.

I hope you enjoy what’s to come.

Thanks again and (Huggles)

Chendzee’a Li

Onwards to Part 16


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