My Secret Pain But when the days of golden dreams had perished, And even Despair was powerless to destroy, Then did I learn how existence could be cherished, Strengthened, and fed without the aid of joy; Then did I check the tears of useless passion, Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine; Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten Down to that tomb already more than mine. And even yet I dare not let it languish, Dare not indulge in Memory's rapturous pain; Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish, How could I seek the empty world again? -Remembrance by Emily Bronte ----------------------------------------------------------------------- It was two days later, by the time they made it to Kalm. She was tired and sore her body not used to sleeping on the rough ground and the sounds of nature after living her entire life inside the city. But it had been an experience that now lay close to her heart, coupled with this sense of wonder. The Planet had a beautiful voice that sang softly to her now that she was free of Midgar. It was gentle and sweet, she imagined if her mother had ever hummed to her when she slept as a child, then her voice would have been of the loving timbre that this voice was. She could almost visualise the stars echoing and the shimmering fall of night, creeping down over them and curling about them gently. She stole a glance to the side, at Tifa. The fighter looked hardly any worse for wear, apart from a smudge on her cheek that seemed resistant to all forms of attempting to wipe it away (Tifa had tried to grab her attention by swinging from a tree in a clump of brush, only to slip and fall directly into a quagmire. The end result had certainly ensured Aerith's attention, but, she surmised with a nod to the blush still evident in Tifa's somewhat embarrassed expression, not the attention she had exactly wanted.) Tifa glanced across at her and then redness suddenly burst back into life and her wine-dark eyes tried to look anywhere other than her. She covered her mouth and giggled softly. "Well, this is Kalm." Still laughing into her hand, Aerith leant her staff against her side and stared about the open plaza streets of the small town called Kalm. It was completely unlike the image of industrial revolution that Midgar was: Kalm was clean and hospitable, with a fountain, message boards, open gardens and children running about in the healthy sunshine and air. The bakeries and small shops were open already, despite the early hour they had set foot there, no later than eight in the morning if Aerith's sense of time wasn't fooling around on her. The delicious smells made her stomach growl and with a grimace she cupped a hand to her middle. Tifa looked at her in surprise. "I'm sorry," the flower girl apologised faintly, "I'm just so hungry." "Really? But we only ate two hours ago..." Tifa frowned, "Is my cooking not that great?" "No, no, it is!" Aerith waved her hands to stave off complaints as the two girls started into the town, booted feet clacking on the blue sheen cobbles. "I just... didn't eat enough. It sounds so bad, Teef, I'm sorry." "Teef?" "Well, I wanted to give you a nickname." "A nickname, eh? Teef... sounds like something a dentist would say..." Tifa paused to look around and Aerith lowered her eyes to the ground with a weak downturn of her mouth. Now she thinks I only say stupid stuff. How clever I am... dentist! Her stomach interrupted all thoughts with another rampant growling session and weakly Aerith covered it with her arms, paling with her hunger. It sounded so loud! She never recalled being so hungry when she had lived in Midgar... must be that old wives tale about clean air and healthy living and without the smog to dampen her down... it took all her strength to stay upright, even with the staff. "Can we get something to eat? I'm sure if they're here, they won't begrudge me eating something before I fall apart from hunger, right?" She gave her friend the best pair of pleading eyes she could, despite her comical hunched over position. "I guess... there's a café over there. We can stop there and get something. Come on, you look like you're ready to drop," Strong arms supported her. I wish I were physically stronger... I feel like such a burden to her. She must always be so disgusted with me, falling over, getting tired, eating her out of pocket and gil... "It's a good job we came across so many monsters on the way here," Tifa said as they approached the shop, "Otherwise I'd have to start street performing to feed you and your hollow legs." "Hollow legs?" "Well yeah, look at you, you're like a reed." What a blow... now I'm flat of chest too. A flat-chest Dentist with an eating disorder... "I ...do?" Tifa grinned at her and helped her into a seat with a mutter that she'd hurry back with menus. Aerith watched her dance through the crowd and jostle with friendly ribaldry. Then she looked down at herself, in dire need of a bath and something to pull the tangles from her hair – it hadn't been her exact priority to stay looking half decent when she and the others had escaped Midgar. That was all behind them now, though. There was no going back for her. She had to trust that her mother knew what to do for the best, and from guesswork on her part, that the young girl Marlene was still with her. No, her mother would take care of her, she was kind of heart and the little girl needed someone there to help. She folded her hands into her lap just as a menu was slid before her face. She gave a start and looked across the table at Tifa who was smiling at her. The dark hair was sweaty but still shiny, it hung to her hips in a river of darkness, small strands and her heavy fringe clouding about her heart shaped face, dominated by wine dark eyes that always crinkled in good humour at her, accompanied by a self confident and determined voice. "I think I'll be having a hot chocolate, what about you?" "Oh, oh," Aerith quickly picked up the menu, "Um... probably the same. It sounds good to me. I'll take some pastries too... maybe with jam. Oh, strawberry jam. I haven't had that in years, not since it became too expensive..." Her eyes flicked up and noticed Tifa was smiling, resting a chin in one hand with the elbow on the table. "Is that all?" "I could eat the table, but they might charge me for that too," Aerith laughed and folded the menu back together and slid it back across to the other girl. She collected them together and waved a gauntleted hand to the waiter who came to take their orders down. Then, with a nod, he shuffled off to fetch them. The service was excellent if nothing else, the pastries were sweet and came with the strawberry jam she had requested of them, piled high with that and clotted cream. She was so busy tucking into them that she hardly noticed the bemused stares of the other customers, watching a slip of a girl work her way through the fattening food like it was air to a suffocating man. The drinks came soon after, thick and dark, piled high with whipped cream. Tifa drew her glass closer by the small handle attached to the side in non-conductive metal. Aerith eventually packed away the last of the food and then covered her mouth to hide the quick burp, blushing furiously, much to Tifa's delight and uproarious laughter. "Ladylike," she howled, wiping her eyes between laughter fits. "Hey, compliments to the chef," the Ancient huffed in turn and peered at her drink. Then she lifted it and took a long swallow of it, careless of the cream, just enjoying all the sweet tastes hitting her palate recently. She lowered it and looked up. Tifa was making subtle wiping gestures at her lip. "...Do you have an itch, Teef?" She said politely. "No... you..." rolling her eyes with a grin, she leaned over the table and wiped at Aerith's lip for her with a folded napkin. "You got cream on it," she winked and sat back down. Aerith blinked a few times, and then covered her mouth. Then she had to turn to the side, her giggles far too strong to cover up. Tifa paused in bringing the drink to her mouth and then pulled it down, frowning at her, "What?" "You...on your chest..." Tifa looked down. The ample bosom had once again betrayed her – a huge spot of melted cream was making a widening stain on her white shirt. Aerith clamped hands over her mouth at the fighter's expression as it changed from shock to indignation. "Damnit," Tifa swore and brushed at her shirt with her hands, completely ineffective. "Now I'll have to change." "You were planning on not changing?" "That's not the point... let's finish this, go to the inn and wait for the others. I've seen Cloud's orienteering skills... we could be waiting a while..." Not like any time with Tifa alone is ever a bad thing, Aerith mused, eyes still fixed mirthfully on the spreading stain. Comical, if nothing else... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- She was, as ever, right. Cloud stormed into the inn after a sour looking Barrett and a slightly worn out Red. The burly man looked as though someone had told him to suck lemons and to spite them, he had done: a whole bucketful. He clomped directly to one of the beds, stopping briefly to give Tifa one of his rare smiles and then gently check the fragile flower girl for wounds, whilst she laughed. Tifa also noted with a casual eye that Red almost immediately went to Aerith too, checking her over. A small spark of her pride cried out: Yes, I kept her safe. I kept her safe from harm where others failed. She looked towards the stairs and the spiky haired fellow who had finally crawled up the steps after the others, his face weary but his blue eyes bright still. His clothes seemed dirtier than before but his stance was slightly more erect. She wanted to check him for wounds too, but she stayed where she was, sat on the edge of the bed wearing her most pensive expression and her most serious eyes. The pain in her heart upon leaving Midgar had only begun to intensify, because she knew Jenova and Sephiroth remained out there, remained in her life when she finally had figured the door closed on them. But Fate, laughing at her plans as always, had kicked her in the stomach when she thought she could go no further down. "Cloud," Aerith piped up, "You're late." "Sorry to keep you waiting," he said tiredly but flashed them all that cocky little smile and pushed his hair back with a hand that showed none of the tiredness that seeped into his voice. "Guess everyone is here now," the ancient said softly, and Tifa looked up from her swirling thoughts to find the green eyes were locked on her. She smiled and nodded back, simply because she thought that was what Aerith was waiting for. "So, lets hear your story," Barrett sat down on the bed two away from Tifa, and it creaked most alarmingly. He shifted and then stubbornly stayed put as it tried shrieking in protest some more. Tifa wondered if he were blushing under that dusky skin of his. "You know, the one about Sephiroth and the crisis facing the Planet, lets hear it all..." "I..." Cloud stood there, then moved to the stair rail so he could lean against it. Everyone else left standing sat quietly, Tifa feeling Aerith's presence brush in against her, but her dark eyes burned into Cloud. "... ...I... used to want to be like Sephiroth. So I joined Soldier. After working with him on several missions, we became friends." "You call that a friend!" "Yeah well, he's older than me. And, he hardly ever talked about himself." "...." She glared so hard her eyes hurt, glared at him and compressed her lips tighter against any outbursts. Her hands curled into the covers on the bed – why didn't they turn red with her pained blood seeping from cracked and ravaged fingers? "I guess, you'd call him a war buddy. We trusted each other... until one day..." "One day?" Aerith asked softly. Lie to them Cloud... She stared at him. She stared through him. She stared into the past of her heart with flinching resolve... "After the war it was Soldiers duty to put down any resistance. That was five years ago. I was sixteen..." ...I was fifteen... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Dad, dad... dad!" The house was quiet. I had grown used to this, he was probably out with some business associates as usual, having some lunch or the other, so I hurried to my room with the scatter of letters from friends who had all left me on my own in Nibelheim and threw myself onto the bed with the home stitched blanket that Mom had made for me years ago, when age made me youthful and my heart wasn't as grown up as this. I studied the newspaper again with glee, I couldn't contain my excitement and it almost wrinkled in my outstretched hands above my form on the bed, legs dangling and waving back forth and hair spilt out behind me. "ShinRa and General Sephiroth: coming to Nibelheim!" The main headline in what was otherwise a town of commerce over the mountains and a small holding of Mako energy for ShinRa. But Sephiroth was coming and with him, perhaps Cloud would come home and I'd finally have someone my own age to talk to. "Yes!" I squealed and threw the paper down, punching the air excitedly, "Finally!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sephiroth's strength is unreal... He is far stronger in reality than anything you have ever heard about him." "So where do you come in?" "Me? I was mesmerised by the way he fought..." "....." You're such a good liar, Cloud. You make me look like a fumbling amateur... you make me look second rate and for you, for our past that you have thrown aside, I feel like I have been lying to you, to everyone all my life... "...and then we reached Nibelheim..." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a hot day, so I had brought out one of my broad brimmed hats with me to try and protect my pale skin from sunburn too extreme. I say by the roadside on one of the milestones that were used before cars and electricity, before aerial maps had been made – chiselled with rough estimates of how far between towns, how far to connect between the lives of people. I wore simple brown clothes, a skirt and coffee shirt without sleeves and a waistcoat of some description. I'd even worn my hair down. The steps along the path were loud suddenly and I looked up from the dirt, bringing my gaze to the people I could see coming. One was tall and had his back to me, silver hair glinting long and free in the daylight, it was hypnotic, like watching a river flow. Then he turned and looked at me with emotionless green eyes, fixing me, sizing me up, recording and filing me away. There were two guards and behind them, someone with spiky hair. My breath caught, looking to him... but... ...but... Before I knew it, I was crying. I was on my feet; trying to cram my hat down on my head so far the tears wouldn't show. Because it wasn't Cloud, but a handsome young soldier with black hair and violet-blue eyes. He wore your clothes though... he had your sword... he even brushed his hair and held his hips the same way... but this was Zack, Cloud... Zack... I ran from that spot into the village, weeping bitterly and later, in a clearing in the woods I told my master, my sensei about it and he held me instead of insisting I train that night. The stars, they were bright above me but like everything else I had once held onto, they were distant now. Beautiful, bright... and out of my reach. The next morning I was called out as the local guide to help them across the mountains. I felt bitter inside, because there was no Cloud, but the young man, Zack, tried his hardest to cheer me up. I stood to the side, talking softly to him as my father, precocious and not frightened of anyone when it came to me, gave Sephiroth a mouthful of words intended to instil some sense of responsibility. "Listen, Sephiroth, if anything happens to my daughter..." "Trust me..." he said softly. "Dad," I rolled my eyes and put my hands on my hips, "I have two men from Soldier with me. Don't be like that." I glanced sideways to Sephiroth and put on my brightest smile: he can analyse that for all he's worth... "I'm Tifa, nice to meet you." "You're the guide?" Zack laughed and I sighed. I was used to this. "Yep, the number one guide in town. Like it or lump it," I told him plainly. "Isn't that a bit dangerous!" "If you protect her," the general murmured, "then where is the worry?" I shivered. Even when someone begged for a picture and the general stood close to me, my skin crawled as if a million ants lived under there. Moving... Luckily, the snapshot was taken and I fled to the front of the line, taking up the pole position as the guide to get them safely through those dangerous pathways to the reactor. The going was difficult. The pathways were treacherous at best, loose with rocks and slippery shale and it had rained briefly the previous night, adding to the lack of suitable friction between feet and surface. I led them towards the easiest path, an old rope bridge that spanned the chasm between one mountain and the next, but I warned them that the bridge wouldn't take too much weight. Idiots! Fools! They kept coming despite my warning advice and the bridge snapped. I recalled shouting and my own voice being ripped from my throat in an aching scream as Zack grabbed my hand. Then... ...I came awake after being unconscious briefly. There was a guard missing. "Can we get back to where we were?" the General asked, brushing down his black leathers. "These caves, they're all intertwined like an ant farm. Oh and, Sephiroth, there seems to be one person missing?" I looked about, trying to find a sign of blue uniform that would be the guard, regardless of his condition. "This might sound cold, but we've got no time to look for him. We can't go back so we must press on. We'll travel together from here..." I looked down and away, leading them once again. The spectre of someone lying dead on the Nibel Mountain haunted me as much as the chilling words of the general. But I did my job and led them through the caves, slipping past small entrances, rock slides and stalagmites and stalactites. Soon it opened out into a wide area where there was a shining light being emitted from the centre of it. I had been here a few times before but never really placed any significance on it beyond the fact that the colours here were stunning. Variegated tones of green and blue, shifting, whirling together in a raw morass that tickled the senses and I stood close to the source of the light in the cave. It was what looked to be a bowl cut from the earth itself, holding a chunk of crystal from which a thick watery substance that glowed green oozed and bubbled gently; even the air around it was revitalising. "What is this?" Zack said softly. "A Mako fountain." The cool voice of the taller soldier said and I turned to see him wander close and stand across from me at the fountain. I refused to back down, meeting his gaze as levelly as I could. "It's a miracle of nature." "It's so beautiful," my eyes moved to the crystal chunk again, sadly this time, "If the Mako reactor continues to suck up the energy, this fountain will dry up too." "Materia. When you condense Mako energy, Materia is produced," he had noticed the object of my gaze. "It's very rare to see it in it's natural form." "By the way," Zack broke in, "Why is it when we use materia we can use magic?" Sephiroth turned a completely withering look onto the hapless dark haired man and I smiled faintly for Zack, trying to indicate that I didn't know either – he simply shrugged in that ‘cool guy' way he had. "You were in Soldier and you didn't even know that? The knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients is held in the Materia, anyone with this knowledge can freely use the powers of the land and the Planet. That knowledge interacts between us and the Planet, calling up magic...or so they say..." "Magic," the younger man grinned rakishly, "A mysterious power." "Ha ha ha!" It was weird hearing Sephiroth laugh and even I had to look twice at the tall soldier to check my hearing hadn't failed me... "Did I say something funny?" "A man once told me never to use such an unscientific term as ‘mysterious power'. It shouldn't even be called ‘magic'. I remember how angry he was!" "What was that?" "Hojo," he sneered, "Of ShinRa Inc. An inexperienced man assigned to take over the work of a great scientist... he's a walking mass of complexes..." So saying he moved from the fountain and I lowered my eyes in confusion to the fount of the power, merrily trickling away to its self with crystalline chimes. "A Mako fountain," I said softly, wanting to touch it so badly but daring not to. "So this is where the knowledge of the Ancients is." The rest of the journey there was largely unspectacular. The Reactor squatted atop a flat plane on the mountain, leering down at the world and I was refused entry by the lone guard left. I remember stamping my foot and turning my back. "Hmph, fine, better take real good care of me then!" They came out later... but Sephiroth had changed... what had changed? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "...and this creature just burst out," Cloud sighed. "Whoever would have thought the reactor held a secret like that," Tifa said in her monotone voice, her eyes no longer even bothering to look up to assign names to those speaking. She was lost far away in her own world, the pain searing and building in crescendo across her chest. "Damn ShinRa, the more I hear, the more I hate them!" Barrett, strong, dependable. "That would explain the increase in monsters recently. I think we should listen carefully to Cloud, don't you, Barrett?" Red, calm, collected. "Tifa... you... were waiting outside then?" Aerith, gentle, loving, honest. "...yes," she whispered, clenching her fists. "We returned to Nibelheim. Sephiroth confined himself at the inn; he didn't even try to talk to me..." "Then..." was she sweating? She felt as if she should burst into holy flames... "Then one night he just disappeared, right?" "We found him inside one of the biggest buildings in Nibelheim." Tifa stared into space, gritting her teeth, "The villagers called it ShinRa Mansion." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't know when exactly the fire started – I couldn't give you a precise time. All I know is, I woke up to a world that burned, the houses burned, the people burned, their flesh and faces crackling and bursting into nothing, fading away as if never having been, melting... I ran out having drawn on my clothes and glanced about. The embers sparked the air and as I paused by the front of what had been Cloud's house, I saw Zangan crouched sadly over the corpse of what had been Cloud's mother. "Zangan, Sensei!" I cried out. "Who did this!" "Sephiroth did this," he grated out, not looking up at me. I drew back fearfully, hand going to my lips in a defensive gesture as the flames burned higher and higher. Why weren't the people moving? Get up! Get up! "Sephiroth... no... no way..." I looked at the mass destruction around me, "There's no way he could have done this!" Then I saw my father from the corner of my eye, running out of sight up the mountain path and I started, stepping back twice in horror. A hand clasped about mine gently. "Tifa," Zangan said, "Don't go there, don't go into hell." But I shrugged him off. The fire burned my skin and I felt nothing, racing after my only family along the mountain paths. The bridge had been newly repaired and made stronger over the time when Sephiroth had closeted himself inside the ShinRa building. So I ran over it with my breath dying in my lungs to the Reactor. This time, there were no guards, only a few fallen villagers with wounds and burns, the remnants of mako infused magic still screeching in the air. I ran inside and got lost twice in the strange pathways, but soon found where Sephiroth had gone, leaving a blood trail of footprints and the striation of the sword dragged beside him. I slid down the chains and froze. On the pathway lay my father with blood pooled around him and that loathsome sword next to him. My world, fragile made of cards, fell down about me and I could hear it shatter over and over again until the sound of it filled my ears. I rushed to his side, but it was pointless. His hand was cold. His face was lax and his eyes closed. I bent over him to weep, sobbing but torn also towards deep, deep anger. I had always had a temper... but this was so dark, and so tempting. "Papa," I sobbed, "...S-sephiroth did this to you... didn't he?" I reached for the masamune. "Sephiroth, Soldier, Mako Reactors, ShinRa... I HATE THEM ALL!" I screamed. I screamed so loudly and got to my feet without thinking. There was fire where blood had once run free in my veins, scars where my heart had been ripped out in a moment of blazing destruction and I ran after him. He was inside, at the top of the steps with his arms outstretched like some deity, fallen from grace with his serpentine grace and his silver, horrible hair... "Mother," he said, "I'm here to see you, please let me in." Mother? A monster like him? The very idea burned and scorned me and I went up the steps after him slowly, a sneer contorting my face as I held the sword low as I had seen done in some Kendo movies. "How could you! How could you do that to Papa and the townspeople?" I sobbed, "I'll kill you!" ...and I tried. There was a struggle and I lost the sword. He moved so fast that I couldn't keep up with his movements and then... then there was pain and the sense of floating, falling and stopping. As the world spun into fire, darkness and the pain in my heart, I had tried. ...and not once, Cloud, had you been there as you say... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "I cut him with this sword, then after a fight where I was wounded, I threw him into the boiling mako with Jenova's head...and that's the end of my story." "Wait a damn minute, ain't there more?" Barrett demanded, scowling hard. She looked up, feeling dead inside. They were all, thankfully, watching Cloud with expressions ranging from disbelief to horror. "What happened to Sephiroth?" Aerith asked quickly, to head off any arguing. Cloud looked worried and shook his head, pacing slightly with the restless motion to his movements she recognised from his time spent cooped up in the Seventh Heaven hideaway. "In terms of skill, I couldn't have killed him." "Official state records list General Sephiroth as being dead. I read it in the newspaper," Tifa added on top of Cloud. "Yeah but," the flower girl shook her head, golden hair shifting in the light through the window, "ShinRa Inc owns the newspaper, so you can't rely on that information." "I want to know the truth," the blond asserted, "I want to know what happened then. I challenged Sephiroth and lived – why didn't he kill me?" "...I'm alive, too," she murmured, glaring right at Cloud. Suddenly, he looked away, putting a hand to his stomach and she frowned, but before she could press further, Aerith chimed in again; "Seems like a lot of this doesn't make much sense. What about Jenova, Barrett and Red say it was in the ShinRa building...?" "ShinRa probably shipped it from Nibelheim to Midgar." "But," she pressed, "Did someone carry it out after that... it's missing from the building, right?" "Sephiroth...?" Tifa said softly. "Damn!" Exploded the burly terrorist suddenly, standing up and waving his arms about as he tended to when riled up, "Don't none of this make sense! I'm leaving the thinking to you; I'm going... going... GONE!" and so saying, stomped down the stairs again to leave them all to stare after him. "What an interesting story," Red muttered and followed the bigger man. Tifa looked sidelong at Aerith, then just as Cloud was making to go too, she finally had to ask before it burst inside of her; forcing the words out had never been so difficult before, but she needed to know. She really, finally, had to know the truth. "Cloud." He stopped and looked back at her. Those blue eyes, so sincere and trusting, she felt like hitting herself hard in the gut for being such a damned liar! "How... how bad was I when Sephiroth cut me?" "I thought you were a goner. I was really sad..." She looked down. He left, so the room was quiet but for Aerith and she, both girls staring at their own feet. Tifa didn't know what to say, the entire story had been put on, had been so close in the details but so far away. "Tifa," the flower girl said suddenly. "Yes?" "...How much of what he said was actually true?" She snapped her head up so fast, she was sure the neck should break, dark eyes boring into the hesitant green ones of Aerith. The fragile girl hand her hands clasped in her lap and was sat in a halo of daylight, but her expression was sad instead of being fraught with humour and fun, as she was used to. How sharp your insight is – is this one of the powers of the Ancients? "...you... noticed," Tifa said lamely. "It's not hard to. You wore different expressions. It's almost like he was telling a story that wasn't precisely his. I don't know what the difference is yet, but when I put my finger on it, we'll help him sort it all out." She smiled. "..." "And, when you're ready, Teef, you can tell me all about your side of the story?" "I will." Aerith looked to the stairs and tilted her head so the heavy bangs of golden brown shaded her oval face, "You know, people lie for all different reasons. I'm sure it'd all be easier if everyone told the truth, but the pain it'd cause some people wouldn't be worth the honesty after all. When people are ready to live with the unbiased truth, then they are ready for life to show them all the wonder it has to offer." The green eyes sparkled as they looked back to her, followed by an endearing giggle, "You looked so sad. I wish I knew what you thought about." "It is sad," Tifa said quietly but smiled too. "I don't mind, I have my own share of sad stuff, but having you here, I don't feel all alone anymore. Isn't that... how you feel?" The fighter reached over suddenly and took her hand; she couldn't say why she did so exactly, but the physical touch comforted and enforced the bond that was quickly growing. "It's exactly how I feel." "Then, we'll be best friends." Aerith beamed, "So we won't be alone." "That's the best idea ever, but we should get going." "Girls, we're going to walk the countryside – there's a farm out there. We left you a PHS and some cash... don't lag!" Barrett yelled up and Tifa scowled. Once again, she was left to defend Aerith on her own. But... after seeing the state the boys had trawled in at, she was briefly glad of it. She looked across at Aerith who was laughing and she raised her brows, "What?" "You're thinking what I'm thinking," she laughed, "along the lines of, ‘Thank heavens – you look like you fell through a cesspit, hedge and several dozen teeth backwards when you walked in!' Haha!" Tifa laughed, "Exactly. Plus, they left us some money. I didn't tell them we had some already." "Alright, Materia shop time!" Aerith crooned and stood up with a stretch. "I need something new to play with..." "Then lets go there and hurry after them, so they don't end up falling into a swamp and being eaten by a giant swamp snake or something ridiculous," Tifa rolled her eyes and stood too, ushering the laughing flower girl out ahead of her. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The dreams came that night again, under the stars, but changed; There was always water...she was swimming through it, to the shore where the woman waited for her. In her arms she carried flowers of fire which she threw shimmering onto the water one by one. Her strokes were even and her pull good against the current and undertow and soon she broke the bank, clambering out as naked as the day she was born. She lifted her green eyes to the woman and then looked to where she had come from. One the horizon a city in fire burned and the woman was staring across the water with eyes made from sadness. "What is that place?" she asked. The woman answered in a voice snatched away by winds that did not exist in her dream, "It was my home." "Why is it burning?" "Because it bargained with the Devil and now pays its price." "The Devil?" The woman's voice was sorrow and cut her keener than any knife, "He came with promises and left my life broken. I am broken now." "I will heal you," she said and laid her hands on her. Soon enough the crack that ran across the chest of the saddened woman healed and she smiled. The woman smiled back at her, then, together they walked forward into the woods. They said little, watching the stars glitter and the heavens radiate, majesty rising with the pale and heavy moon over the canopy and setting dappled highlights on their faces and soon, all too soon it was time to go. She stepped away from the woman but was surprised to find her barring her path; eyes that were darker and sadder than anything she had ever seen before and in that same snatched away voice, pleaded brokenly, "Go back." "I must go on." "Go back, or you will die." She hesitated, longer and heavier than the first pause, but still moved past her and towards the city made of crystal and shells and echoing music that no longer was remembered by the bards of this time and world. Behind her, the woman crumpled to the floor and wept her heart out, broken and cold. She wavered but for a moment, then... ...water... She was in the water and sinking. Going down so slowly, like an angel falling, like a feather gliding to crystal depths where the world moved slowly. She lifted her arms and felt her hair rise about her like a fractured halo, a forgotten prayer, the beloved psalm replayed in the mind and heart. She lifted hands to the light above and below, reaching out and sinking, or perhaps flying... Then it was dark. She lay there, not breathing nor needing to, yet the cold water soaked up her tears and they were forgotten too, melding forever with the water as she stared unseeing at the vague light above the coldness that had become her body. With stiff lips, she cried out sadly, "I'm sorry!" Then she mouthed sadly and silently to the water as she closed her eyes, "I must." ...there was always water... there was always... ...Tifa...
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