Chuffing lightly with a sound of irritation, she turned and looked out over the water, tearing her eyes away from the red deck in front of her. If it was just like the Thunder Plains, shouldn't she be able to confront her fear and get over it? She asked herself that a lot lately, and the general answer was that it took her ten years to get over her fear of the lightning. “Don't want it to be another ten years...” She mumbled to herself.
“What?” A voice spoke from behind her, causing Rikku to jump and twist about, pressing her back to the side of the alcove the door sat in. “You're losing your touch, Rikku.” Paine smirked at the spooked girl, moving past her and onto the deck itself.
Rikku scowled some, mostly at herself for not paying enough attention and allowing the usually noisy lift to come up behind her. “You're too much like a wraith, you know that?” She stuck her tongue out at Paine, crossing her arms over her chest in a fashion that made the warrior arch an eyebrow. Paine recognized that stance, it was one she frequently took to protect herself, to give an air of 'leave me alone', that she knew worked well. On her at least. On Rikku she had to bite the inside of her cheek to not smile, she didn't want to smile. She felt too much like she was losing control, and came up here to try to get fresh air, she didn't expect to find the person who was pushing her to the edge to be there.
“Sure, blame me for your lack of attention.” Paine retorted, turning and moving out further onto the deck, resisting the urge to look down to the weapon scars on the surface of the airship.
Rikku simply grunted in reply, keeping her arms crossed as she glared down at the deck. Paine, true to character, didn't reply or offer further conversation, and after a few minutes Rikku had to look up, looking to where the woman was. Paine had moved up behind the gull at the front of the airship, looking out over the water as the ship cruised along toward Besaid, the island group visible in the distance, about an hour away at their current pace. Rikku watched the woman's back for a moment, then sighed softly, unfolding her arms and looking down at her left hand, flexing it a little. Paine chose that moment to look back to Rikku, about to mention something about how close Besaid was, seeing the motion, and turned some toward her.
“Does your wrist still hurt?” She asked quietly, an eyebrow arched slightly. She didn't think the break there was bad, but she knew that the wrist was a lot more delicate than the arm was.
Rikku shrugged slightly, not meeting Paine's somewhat curious look. “A little. But I was messing with my daggers earlier, probably strained it a little.”
“You shouldn't do that for a bit. Give it a chance to finish healing, you know that bones don't fully heal with cures.” Paine quietly chastised, leaning back against the gull's tail.
Rikku smiled lightly. “Yeah, I know, I know.” She ran her fingers through her bangs, brushing them back from her headband for a moment before they fell back into place. She crossed her arms again, this time around her stomach, and looked back down at the deck. Paine started to get a little worried, noticing for the first time that Rikku hadn't moved from the alcove by the door, the woman glancing down at the deck, her eyes meeting the marks that Rikku's daggers had left, a look of understanding entering her eyes. She pushed herself from the metal bird and walked forward some, stopping just a bit from the door, staying out on the deck proper itself. A part of her mind told her to be quiet, to just go inside, but she hadn't really listened to that part of her mind lately, and realized she wasn't about to now.
Paine cleared her throat slightly, causing Rikku to look up toward her again, an eyebrow raising as she noticed the warrior much closer than she was before, now. There was that slightly nervous look to Paine, much like the other night in the cabin, and Rikku felt a little twist at her heart, worry building some, only to be surprised by the question that came instead. “You're afraid to be out here, aren't you?” Paine's voice was gentle, her question soft.
Rikku's first reaction was to say no, but as she was opening her mouth to say it, she realized how she shouldn't deny what was pretty clear. Her cheeks colored softly as she looked back down to her feet, and simply nodded at first, then continued. “I just...really needed some fresh air. I know we're almost to Besaid, but.”
Nodding some as she glanced back over her shoulder, Paine tilted her head some toward the front of the airship. “Yeah, you can see the islands.” She closed her eyes for a moment, mentally kicking herself for the ever so intelligent words coming from her. Sighing lightly, she took another step toward Rikku, approaching her a little like she would an injured animal, holding her hand out. “Come here, huh?”
Rikku looked up sharply, first to Paine's calm expression and then down to the gloved hand held out toward her, Rikku flexing her hands some at her side. “Huh? Why? I'm fine here, I can still get fresh air.”
Paine shook her head and stepped forward again. “But you won't get over being afraid if you stand there. You can't wait ten years again. That's what you were talking about when I came out before, wasn't it? That thing with lighting you used to have.”
“Yeah, but...”
“No but.” Paine countered, her hand shaking slightly as she reached out and just took Rikku's in hers, gently pulling at it and trying to coax the girl out from by the doorway.
Grimacing, Rikku knew that Paine was right, but that didn't mean she was just going to jump out there. When the warrior took her hand, though, she was surprised enough to be easily pulled forward, but after getting just out of the reach of the door she balked, trying to pull back a little. “Paine...I k-know it's silly, but...” Her nervousness was clear, even if the airship was on the water itself, and the water was only about thirty feet or so away.
Paine shook her head, still keeping her grip on Rikku's hand, gentle but strong. “Who said anything about it being silly? I understand.” She gently pulled Rikku closer, not stepping back, trying to keep her own nervousness over what she was doing hidden, Paine not used to being the one to comfort, she usually left that up to Yuna.
Flexing her free hand repeatedly into a fist at her side, Rikku all but stared at Paine's neck, not wanting to look anywhere that would show where she was. An especially large wave sent the airship rocking a little as it kept on, Paine hiding a grimace at the motion as she knew it would only scare Rikku a little more, and she was right, only Rikku didn't react by pulling back as she expected, instead she threw herself at the warrior, clinging to the bottom of Paine's shawl as she hid her face against her shoulder. “P-please don't let me fall again!”
For another time in the frustrating week, Paine found herself almost completely unable to move or speak, thrust into a situation she had no experience with, another dangerous one where she knew what she did would have far reaching consequences. Looking down at the shorter girl pressed against her, she felt that tug at her heart again, the one that made her feel like she was losing control. Drawing in a slow, steadying breath, she brought her arms up to gently wrap around Rikku, one hand resting up on her shoulder, the other holding about her waist. “If you fall, we both fall.” She stated, fairly simply, lightly flexing and tensing her shoulders to keep from shaking.
Rikku started to cry as she stayed pressed against Paine, her expression shifting between looking like she loathed herself for how she felt and like a frightened young girl, tightening her hold a little more as Paine spoke, a lurching felt in her stomach like it dropped from her, the woman's words only making her cry a little harder. She started to babble, a natural reaction to her fears. “I keep dreaming about it! Seeing your face...the fall, the water, the cold, the dark. I didn't dream about lightning like this! Not even when we were there on the pilgrimage, I was just terrified out of my mind then, I didn't dream about it, it didn't torment me! I keep seeing your face an it moving away as I fall, I keep seeing that, it won't leave me alone!”
Rikku's tears first stabbed at Paine's heart as she tightened her grip on the shorter woman some, faintly biting her lower lip. As she started to babble, Paine closed her eyes for a moment, ducking her head down slightly as she continued to take deeper, calming breaths, fending off the threatening overwhelming emotions that lingered in the background, reacting to how upset Rikku was. “It's...it's alright.” She surprised herself at how sure of those words she sounded. “It's okay Rikku. It was frightening, and...I've dreamed of it some too. But it won't happen again, and in the extremely small chance that it does, I go with you.” She kicked herself mentally, she was saying too much, talking too much. But her words had a calming affect on Rikku, who leaned back a little and looked up to Paine, tears bright in her eyes.
Searching the face of the woman above her, Rikku felt herself at a loss for words as her slightly panicked babbling trailed off, the words spoken by Paine having stolen away her own. She thought back to the cabin the night they got her back to the airship and healed up, the words spoken then, the expressions and feelings that lingered in the air then. They were back again, the feeling that both she and Paine were standing at the edge of something they were both afraid of, the feeling that words needed desperately to be said, lingering there in the front of her mind, but still left unsaid, she had promised to wait until getting to Besaid, afterall. She could sense the nerves in Paine, realizing just how much it must be taking Paine to be standing there and holding her, knowing that she was pushing the woman out of her usual comfort zone by her actions, and terribly afraid she was going to push too far. Whimpering faintly, she dropped her head forward again, pressing her cheek to Paine's shoulder, holding onto her tightly as she looked across the warriors chest. “I...I...” Words failed her, any eloquence she may have had stolen from her. “...promise?” The word squeaked out, sounding pitiful, causing Rikku to blush softly.
Paine closed her eyes and exhaled lightly when Rikku finally looked down again, fingers gently rubbing at Rikku's lower back in an idle movement she wasn't entirely conscious of doing. The squeaked out question caught her off guard again, not that she was really with it at all during the last several minutes. Looking down to Rikku, her eyes followed the slow track of a tear as it slid down her cheek, only to drip off onto her shawl, the piece of clothing a little damp now from the tears it collected. Opening her mouth, words refused to work right for her, too, and she closed her mouth again, taking a moment. Everything seemed to fade into the background, the only thing worth paying attention to at the moment being the woman in her arms. Tightening her hold a little, Paine nodded softly, her voice soft when she finally found it again. “Promise.”
Like a plug had been pulled and released the tension, Paine's reply caused Rikku to all but sag against the taller woman, her shoulders slumping as she relaxed. She closed her eyes, nodding a little as she just stayed close, looking to have no intention of moving from where she was, at least not at the moment. Paine stood up a little straighter, looking down at the now relatively calm Al-bhed in her hold, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Looking up and out over the water, she turned her head slightly, watching Besaid as it approached. Quiet settled comfortably on the two, the tension Paine felt regarding her situation with Rikku not gone, but pushed away for the moment, at least.
As the island approached and became fairly clear in it's appearance, the wide beach that they frequently docked to coming into view, a few people on the beach just barely noticeable, Paine shifted a little, and sighed lightly as she heard the telltale rattle of the lift approaching the deck, very gently pulling back from Rikku, ignoring the pang in her heart when Rikku made a disappointed sound of protest, though pulled back when she heard the lift stop. Stepping back from Paine, staying within quick reach of the woman as she still looked a little uncertain of being up there, she turned toward the lift, starting to head toward it when Paine moved forward some as well. The doors of the old lift opened with a soft hiss, Yuna slipping through and looking fairly surprised at seeing the two women there, her confusion masked by her smile. “Hey...didn't expect you up here Rikku...” She moved forward, reaching out and taking both of Rikku's hands in her own, Paine glancing away for a moment before looking back.
Nodding a little, Rikku squeezed Yuna's hands lightly, glancing over her shoulder as if she were looking to the approaching island, but using it as an opportunity to glance to Paine, smiling lightly as she catches the woman's eye. Looking back to Yuna, she started to urge the woman back toward the lift. “Yeah, I had to get over myself. We're almost there, huh? Bet that's why you came up, isn't it?” She grinned to her cousin, her irritation at the moment before being interrupted pushed aside as she found herself quite eager to get onto solid ground.
“Yeah, almost. I contacted Lulu, and she's gonna want to look at your arm again at some point.” Yuna wrinkled her nose slightly, and Rikku couldn't help but laugh at the expression as she pulled Yuna into the lift, holding the door and waiting for Paine, the woman slipping in a moment after and hitting the button for the cabin.
“She's just being protective Yunie. I know you and Paine healed it right, think of this as a chance to prove to Lulu that you did learn from her and know what you're doing?” Rikku tried to reassure her cousin, catching Paine's smirk out of the corner of her eye.
“It's not like I didn't learn and helped heal on the pilgrimage!” Yuna huffed, but she smiled at Rikku and nodded, pulling her cousin into the cabin once the lift stopped. “Anyway, we'll visit with Lulu and Wakka while Brother and Buddy go to Luca and get the parts they want and fix the airship. Maybe I'll go visit the temple...”
Paine paused by the bar, asking Barkeep for a drink, but turned toward Yuna and raised an eyebrow slightly. “The temple? Is that such a good idea? With that dark version of Bahamut in Bevelle and all the reported fiends out and around all of a sudden because of it...”
Yuna's expression shifted to fairly serious, though Rikku could see the worry in her eyes. “Yeah, Im sure. Just because we haven't heard from Besaid that there's fiends loose there now, doesnt mean that we should't check, huh? I...really don't want there to be any...” Fighting Bahamut was terribly hard on the High Summoner, though in the lull afterwards when they couldn't find any spheres she had seemed to calm down about it, and hadn't spoken of it since, though of course, Rikku's injury took priority in her mind, and now that that was taken care of...
Rikku squeezed Yuna's hand. “If Lulu didn't mention it, it's got to be okay. Come on, lets go get some stuff together, I want to sleep in the village when we get there, not on this thing.” She pulled her cousin upstairs, both girls grateful for the little distraction. Paine watched them go as she leaned against the bar, then glanced down at her drink once Barkeep handed it to her. Murmuring a light thanks, she downed it in one go, then followed upstairs to be greeted with a bit of a confused look from the cousins as she started to pack a bag as well. “Gonna stay on the island with us?” Rikku asked, a bit of a hopeful sound to her voice.
Paine nodded, just barely hiding the smile that tried to force its way free when she saw the happy expression in the blond girl's eyes. “Yeah, could use some fresh air. And get away from Oaka.”
Yuna and Rikku both giggled at that, nodding in full agreement as they finished packing their bags at about the same time the airship gently bumped into the shallow water of Besaid, Brother announcing over the intercom that they had arrived.
“Looking forward to a little bit of quiet, girls?” Lulu asked, Yuna having threaded her arm with her Guardian as they walked.
“That's an understatement Lulu. Im mostly glad to be off the ship!” Rikku moved forward from the group a distance, only to come back and meet them again, Lulu watching her as she moved, likely evaluating the young Al-bhed and her health.
“Yeah, me too. We've been traveling a lot, and though we'll get breaks where no spheres seem to be popping up, it gets pretty fast paced at other times.” Yuna added, Paine nodding in agreement as the former summoner kept talking. “I enjoy it! But I missed home and you guys too.” Pausing as they crested the hill that overlooked the village, Yuna looked toward the temple, lighting biting down on her lower lip. “Lulu? Have things been quiet around the temple? Does anyone go all the way in anymore, or am I the last to?” She was referring to the chamber of the Fayth, a place that traditionally only a summoner went, and this still held pretty strong everywhere but Djose, to an extent, Gippal having enough sense to keep that place still pretty sacred and private.
Lulu looked a little puzzled for a moment, then oh'd softly and nodded. “You mean the fiends that were reported in Bevelle near the temple? We've not seen any increase in those that are naturally here on the island, and none from the temple. There's just one priest, left, and I don't believe he goes into the main chamber.” Lulu glanced to Yuna, studying her expression for a moment. “You'll have to tell me about what happened in Bevelle.”
Paine smiled lightly at that statement, knowing that Lulu was more likely to get Yuna to talk about her discomfort finding and having to fight Bahamut than she or Rikku could, despite Rikku's experience, likely because Yuna could tell that it bothered Rikku some, too. Yuna nodded to Lulu, ducking her head slightly, getting a reassuring squeeze from the older woman. Rikku stuck her tongue out slightly and grabbed Lulu's free hand, gently tugging her forward. “Come on you three, it's late and I'm starving, let's get to the village before the three clowns get off the airship and eat everything in sight. I swear Shinra hides food in his suit..”
Yuna and Lulu laughed at Rikku's statement, nodding as they let the blond pull them on, Paine following at her usual sedate pace. After a bit of slightly odd discussion that made Yuna look like she was trying to be small and Rikku blush a little, it was decided that Rikku and Paine would share one of the smaller huts that had been built, and Yuna would stay with Lulu and Wakka as she used to. Buddy, Brother and Shinra getting another hut, should they choose to stay on the island, though Rikku suspected the three would be more comfortable on the airship. After getting settled in the arranged sleeping quarters, Paine faintly upset at how quickly Rikku dodged into the hut and back out without even really looking to the warrior, the village came together around the fire for a community dinner of sorts, welcoming the Gullwings back to the island and using the opportunity to tell stories.
Brother was in his element, with a rapt audience paying attention to his bizarre gyrations as he exaggerated stories of the Gullwing's exploits despite Rikku's occasional corrections, he and Buddy eagerly telling tales of the exploration that the two men had done before they found the Celsius. Though Paine was fairly certain that half of the islands residents couldn't understand Brother's thick accent, they all seemed amused at the pantomiming that went along with the quickly spoken words and stories. As night fell, Yuna and Lulu withdrew a distance to speak quietly as the stories continued to be shared, Brother yielding the stage to some of the older people in the village to tell legends and stories of creatures in the island jungle. Paine found the atmosphere quite comfortable, enjoying sitting just at the edge of the bonfire's light, getting enough warmth even as cool air blew in off of the ocean. It was shortly after the sun had fully set that it finally registered in Paine's mind that Rikku was nowhere to be seen. Glancing over to Yuna, she briefly tried to get the girl's attention before deciding against it, frowning slightly as her eyes scanned the village.
Standing, she slipped over to the hut she and Rikku had been 'assigned', drawing back the thick cloth door and peering in, taking a moment to adjust to the dark room. Frustratingly, it was empty, the thief not there. Trying to look casual and blend into the shadows, Paine moved away from the hut, briefly glancing into Lulu and Wakka's home and again finding it empty, then moved along to the edge of the village. She paused, glancing back to the fire again, musing to herself quietly. Briefly considering telling Yuna, she decided against it, not wanting to cause undue concern about the fact that Rikku seemed to be missing, and Paine had very little idea as to where to go to find her. Rikku had the advantage when it came to wanting to be alone when it came to Besaid, having visited here much more frequently than Paine ever had, this being only the fourth time that she was there, and as she walked down the dimly lit path, the first time she ever really went anywhere alone. It wasn't that she was scared, far from it, the warrior used to shadows and the things that lurked within them, it was more that she felt out of her element, and this certainly didn't help, especially when the thoughts from earlier that day when she was on the deck alone popped back into her mind. Recalling that she suspected that once she reached Besaid, things could clear, her thoughts would stop being so jumbled, that she'd come to her senses.
Reflecting on the uncertainty that was still within her mind, the unease over not knowing where Rikku was, and the bare simple fact that she was out here in the dark wandering around looking for her fairly well cemented in Paine's mind that no, these feelings weren't just going to go away. “Where are you, little thief?” She murmured as she paused on the hill with the old ruins, looking down to the beach and the Celsius, smiling lightly when she spied the solitary figure wandering along the beach. “Ah ha..” She smiled a little wider, though slightly rolling her eyes at herself as she felt relief push away the worry that was building, turning from the edge and starting down the pathway to the beach.
“Would you approve of this?” She asked the sky, spiraled eyes watching the stars as if expecting them to answer. She had always searched for Auron's approval since the first time when he gave his blessing that she be allowed to be one of Yuna's Guardians. His acceptance of her and of what she could do became so important to her, only the journey they were on and saving Yuna mattered more. It gave her little thrills whenever he would nod and give her a barely noticeable smile, and now, in her confusion over her feelings, she found herself quietly seeking his approval again. Long ago come to terms with his departure, she reasoned that she likely had accepted it that day in Guadosalam when she didn't go into the Farplane with the others, she knew she could give her heart freely, but she still wanted to know, inside, that he would think it okay. Laughing lightly, she shook her head again. “Fayth, of course you would. Hell, she's practically a female version of you...just with less red.”
Turning, she started to wander the beach again, scuffing her boots in the sand. “I know my feelings, but she...seems reluctant. Feel like I'm going toward a wounded animal...” Clasping her hands behind her back, she stopped and looked to the sand for a moment, then turned and retraced her path. “And what would the others think? Pops might be upset...Brother...I dont know. What of the rest of Spira? Like it or not I'm a 'role model' to other Al-bhed, at least if you believe what Pops said...bah. Why can't I just not think about that and do something for myself for once?”
A thought caused her to pause in her tracks, and she laughed, a little bitterly. “Yuna feels the same thing, there. Wakka wanted her to marry some shmuck from New Yevon...probably wanted her to marry Baralai for all I know. Everyone wanting her to do things for them...it wasn't enough she was going to die for the jerks.” Scowling a little, she crouched and grabbed a stone, weighing it in her hand. “Now Pops wants me and Brother to lead the tribe. To give up everything for something that's changing every day...I dont want to be like Nooj or Baralai and stuck behind all the politics, I want to live my life!” She hauled back with the rock before sending it flying across the water, watching as it skipped along, jumping and blushing brightly when she heard the teletale metallic 'panggggggg' of the stone hitting the Celsius, bringing one hand to her lips and holding back the laughter.
“Oh now you did it. I'm going to tell Brother.” Paine's voice came from the darkness, starting Rikku and causing her to jump as she twisted around to face the pale woman, sticking her tongue out when she spied the amused smirk on Paine's features.
“Oh hush. It's not like I made one of the engine's fall off or something.” Rikku pouted, crossing her arms and huffing.
Paine chuckled lightly and shook her head a little. “Teasing Rikku, I was teasing...” She walked past the blond, getting the curious girl to watch her from the corner of her eye as Paine wandered up the beach closer to the forest and cliffs, bending to pick up driftwood and fallen branches. “Needed to get away, some?” Paine quietly asked, coming back with the armfull of firewood, dropping it on the ground before she crouched to arrange it into a small pile.
Nodding, Rikku moved forward to Paine's side, crouching down as well. “Yeah. Didn't feel in the mood to listen to the stories, and wanted to think. I'm glad you came and found me.” She smiled, getting a raised eyebrow from Paine as she worked to get the fire going.
“Oh? Well, I wasn't sure I could find you. You know this island better than I do.” Paine replied, smiling as she got a small flame going, feeding tinder to it before she moved back slightly and sat, crossing her legs. Rikku sat down next to her, Paine's cheeks coloring slightly in the darkness as the thief leaned against her side.
“Yeah, I do, but I wasn't hiding. Just thinking.” Rikku replied, watching the fire as it grew a little before burning steadily.
“Good thoughts?” Paine quietly asked, feeling the bit of nervousness pick up inside of her chest again, the warrior mentally squashing it down.
“Mostly.”
Nodding, Paine leaned back a little, exhaling softly as she watched the fire. Rikku didn't offer any further information about what she was thinking about, and Paine didn't see fit to pry, the woman staying quiet as the younger woman leaned her head to her shoulder. Both knew there were things that needed to be said, so many things, in both of their minds. Questions that needed definite answers, worries that needed to be voiced, positions and opinions that needed to be clarified. But sitting in the dark on the beach with the soft fire in front of them, and the twinkle of stars above, seemed to have a silencing affect on both girls, the quiet becoming comfortable, things feeling more 'right' than any words could ever tell.
Looking down from watching the stars, Paine turned her attention to watching Rikku, studying her features, her expression. She didn't look away when emerald eyes met hers, the comfort and 'rightness' of the moment giving Paine strength. Rikku just watched, eyes searching the ruby ones above her, keeping her head to the taller girl's shoulder, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Paine arched an eyebrow at seeing the smile, but didn't speak any questions. Instead, she shifted slightly, bringing her hand up, gloved fingertips lightly touching to Rikku's jawline before she made a soft sound, pulling her hand back to take off her glove, bare flesh touching now as she brought her hand back up. Rikku closed her eyes and leaned slightly toward the touch, a soft sigh escaping her, Paine's cheeks turning a little more red. There was a moments hesitation. A pause of a heartbeat. The catching of breath in the throat. The final steeled decision. The first, almost shy touch of lips to lips, the tightening of the grip that had latched to an arm. The greater assurance that came from lack of rejection, the deepening of the kiss.
Waves washed softly against the shore, the flames crackled quietly as they burned. Stars shone silently above, twinkling as they looked down upon the world. No words were spoken, and none needed to be said as the night wrapped warm arms around the island, the stars the only wittiness to the collapsing of walls, and the destruction of loneliness that crept silently in on the touch of a pair of lips.
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