Blue Haired Angel
Tsukasa lay back on her bed in her new caretaker's house, known in
The World as Bear. She breathed deep the cleanliness of the room, glanced at
the pristinely folded clothes, the organized furniture. If she opened the
closet all would be in order from her rolled up socks to her skates sitting
side by side. Ever since she had awoken from her coma, Tsukasa had kept
everything very neat; a contrast to the chaotic experience she had gone
through in The World. She did not, however, look badly upon her time in the
world. How else would she have met Subaru?
She toyed with her auburn hair with one hand and fiddled with the
hem of her skirt with the other. She had not yet removed her school uniform
although she would change before Bear got home sometime that night. She had
learned in the two weeks that she had lived here that, although a loving
"father", he worked late most nights except Sundays.
She wanted to see Subaru today.
The thought popped out of nowhere, leaving behind a dreamy residue.
She would get up now and go see her. Her body did not obey. Get up, she told
it. Her feet swung to the side of the bed and she sat up. She would expend
only enough energy as it took to change. She glanced at the folded clothes
unhappily. Or she could just go; Subaru would not mind the uniform.
A few moments later a few sparrows would spy the girl walking slowly
down the cracked sidewalk. It looked, though Tsukasa, like a desert she had
seen in a video. The cracks all formed strange almost geometric shapes and
spewed green vegetation towards the dusty grey sky. She kicked a rock and
watched it skitter over the dreary surface, ducking under a low sign.
It would be her birthday in a month or so, she did not care enough
to count exactly. She would be turning eighteen. Time seemed to hide from
her, she mused, always popping out at such inopportune moments. Subaru's
seventeenth birthday had been just after she had woken up from her coma.
Unfortunately she had been in the hospital that day, unaware that Subaru
even lived in the same city. They had met the next day, Subaru claims it was
the best present she received but Tsukasa didn't really believe her.
She noticed the sidewalk had gotten smoother, broken only by a few
cracks now. She was getting closer; Subaru lived in the richer side of the
city.
She had become more and more attached, if that was possible, to her
Subaru over these past two weeks. She visited almost every day and called
her when she didn't, even when she did. While she was a boy in The World she
had lost memory of being a girl in the real world. She had been attracted to
Subaru... a lot. She was not sure that the attraction had dissipated. She
must, for Subaru's sake, not let any of these feelings show. She did not
want to lose one of her only friends to a prejudice.
She had reached the house. It was very large for the city, two
stories tall with a basement. It housed the lovely Subaru and her two
parents. They both worked even later than Bear did to provide for their
crippled daughter. Subaru was confined to a wheelchair due to an illness she
had had as a small child. She didn't speak of it often so Tsukasa was
unaware of the details. She let herself in so that Subaru would not have to
get the door (the elevator took a long time) just in case the nurse wasn't
there today. She ended up not being, too. Tsukasa walked into Subaru's room,
knocking on the door on the way in. A smile blossomed on her face and she
beamed at the small girl. She had long dark blue hair, very cute thin wire
glasses and the smooth and perfect face of an angel.
Tsukasa quietly, and hopefully unnoticed, admired Subaru's beauty.
This was the girl whom she loved, would always love, and would never have.
Tsukasa smiled wider in attempt to stead a tear. Subaru smiled back happily.
"Why Tsukasa, I had not realized you would be coming over! A
pleasant surprise" She beamed and turned to her very advanced computer to
shut it off.
She wheeled over to the bed and joined Tsukasa on it, pushing
herself up with her very strong arms.
"So what's new today?" she asked with another heavenly smile.
Tsukasa loved any excuse to talk to the wonderful girl and ranted on
about her day at school. She talked and talked with interjections from
Subaru, she was always at ease when talking with her. Tsukasa was a
different person around Subaru, more open, cheerful and kinder. To most
others, a few exceptions included Bear and Mimiru, she was cold and distant,
always off in her own world and allowing no one to enter it. She smiled as
she explained how she had proven a teacher wrong that day and said mans'
reaction. Subaru's eyes glittered like amber polished to a sheen.
A pause in the conversation, unnoticed really except by the mocking
time, brought about a turn of events. Subaru had caught Tsukasa looking at
her and blushed a little. She looked away, towards the door before
collapsing back onto her bed, trying to think of something to say to fill
the peephole in the conversation.
"So, you wanna' watch a movie or something" Tsukasa asked, noticing
the uninvited and very rude guest: the entity of an awkward silence. Subaru
nodded happily and got back in her chair. They both went to the other side
of Subaru's very large room and sat on the extremely comfortable leather
love seat across from Subaru's television, a 52" plasma TV. Tsukasa wondered
how one girl could be so lucky and unlucky at the same time...
They spent the next few hours watching a new series of anime Subaru
had gotten recently, it hadn't come out on television yet but Subaru's
father worked for a company that dealt with anime products and had received
the pre-release edition from his office. It was ok, not bad but not
especially interesting either. That, however, may have been due to the fact
that Tsukasa was preoccupied with the small girl sitting alongside her.
Subaru had leaned her head on Tsukasa's shoulder halfway through the
series and Tsukasa was having trouble controlling her breathing and heart
rate. The scent of her shampoo had a euphorically miasmic effect, causing
her to feel a bit giddy. It was so hard to control things such as her racing
heart that she almost wished Subaru would not lean against her, maybe then
she could wipe the red flush from her cheeks. Or maybe not...
After the series was over the last beams of the dying sunset were
struggling valiantly across the floor to kiss their feet. The curtains made
flowery patterns in the pools of scattered gold and made the light appear in
blotches across the room, even on Subaru's folded hands. Subaru leaned away
from Tsukasa to turn off the DVD player and stop the theme music that had
been playing for the sunlight. They sat there in silence until the light had
stretched farther and was now kissing their faces. Tsukasa glanced quickly
at the blue haired beauty incarnate and watched her amber eyes glitter. It
was as if God had hidden a thousand faceted gems under the long lashes, but
they were not for just anyone to find.
Who is it, Tsukasa wondered, who is the lucky one to whom you will
give permission to uncover your secrets? I wish it was me... She looked away
again.
"Well, I suppose I had better go, Subaru." She was looking down a
bit so she would not catch the suspicions of her friend. "I suppose so, you
don't want to worry "Uncle" now do you?" Subaru and Tsukasa smiled. Tsukasa
had called Bear "Uncle" in The World and the nickname had carried over into
the real world.
"Well" she said, "I shall see you tomorrow." Subaru then did
something very unexpected, she leaned forward and kissed Tsukasa on the
cheek gently.
The next thing Tsukasa could coherently remember was walking over
the threshold to her new residence, the crumbling cement looked bleakly at
the young woman, questioning the odd expression on her face. Tsukasa walked
straight through a welcome from "Uncle", mumbling a reply almost coherently
at him and turning down dinner for that night. She walked straight to her
room, a smile chasing the not-so expertly faked nonchalant expression she
tried to wear. The expression fit as well on her face as well as a camel
would fit through the eye of a needle.
Bear had learned to leave her alone when she was in moods like this
so he respected her privacy and merely told her goodnight a half hour later.
Tsukasa sat staring around her room for hours. She did not actually see the
room because she was deep in thought. She was almost certain that Subaru was
at least a little attracted to her. But what would she do? What would she do
about it?
She thought and planned until almost midnight. Finally she dozed off
with the light still on and awoke the next morning in her school uniform.
She straightened it out as best she could and proceeded to get ready and go
to school.
~~~
School had gone by as quickly as a tree grows old and dies,
branching off every so often in rivulets of daydreams. After school she
dropped her things off at Bear's apartment and changed into one of her more
attractive outfits, pristine and perfect, and she headed to the florists'.
She picked out a dozen light blue roses sprinkled with little white flowers
that looked like clumps of snow that had fallen on silvery green stems.
Once she reached Subaru's house she must have stood at the doorway
for at least ten minutes, pondering what she was about to do. Finally (when
she realized how silly she must look) she opened the door and called out
Subaru's name and prayed the nurse would not still be there (she usually
wasn't).
"In here!" Subaru called from her room. Tsukasa gulped at the
nervous lump forming in her throat and entered the room. She was met by
Subaru sitting on her bed. She was in a very attractive outfit consisting of
khaki pants, a tight light blue shirt and a white button up shirt. She was
holding a bouquet of dark red roses tied up in a dark red ribbon. When each
of the girls saw what the other one was holding the smiled and laughed.
They exchanged gifts and Tsukasa sat on the bed. "So, I was
thinking, Subaru..." She said softly, fingering the silken ribbon, "I was in
love with you in The World... when I thought I was boy, remember? And, I, well
I don't think that I ever got over that. My mind and my heart speak in
unison, telling me that I still love you. I can't not do anything about it
any longer."
Subaru looked directly into Tsukasa's eyes and leaned closer,
"Tsukasa, it never mattered to me that you were a girl. From the time I met
you to the moment you told me you were a girl, through your awakening and
now, I still love you. I won't do nothing about it... anymore." And then she
kissed Tsukasa. Her lips pressed softly on the older girl's; they felt like
the velvet roses clutched and forgotten in both of their hands. They wrapped
their arms around each other and deepened the kiss.
When the late evening sunlight came to kiss the two figures today it
would find them leaning against one another still. The trickling light held
them in rapture for a single timeless moment before disappearing and letting
the moon have a glimpse. And so the moon watched the two hold one another
silently until he also disappeared. It was long into the night before
Tsukasa even thought to leave. She kissed Subaru on the forehead and
promised to return as soon as school was out the next day. Walking home that
night Tsukasa was the happiest she had ever been in her living memory, she
slept well with dreams of her blue-haired angel.
The End
Back to .hack//SIGN Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction