Time
I was finally ready. It took me three hours. I looked in the mirror
one last time before heading out. I wanted everything to be perfect
for today. I had on the perfect outfit: my short, black, tight dress,
which had always been my favorite. I always got compliments from men
and even some women whenever I wore it. Most importantly, Mimi had
never seen it. I did a little touching up with me hair, brushing out a
few strays since it was loose and wild and crinkled. I looked in the
mirror one last time and realized what I was missing. I reached for a
bottle of my favorite perfume and sprayed a little on. I knew that
Mimi loved it. I grabbed my purse on the way out and waved goodbye to
my mom.
I knew when I first saw Mimi that I would fall hopelessly in love with
her. I became almost obsessed with everything she did. I loved that
fact that I always changed her appearance. I loved it when she dyed
her hair pink, black, or blonde. I loved it when she painted her face
with all different types of makeup. It made Mimi seem mysterious in a
way.
It wasn't just her looks that drove me wild though. Mimi always
believed in people even when they did not believe in themselves. At
times she seemed like a brat but I knew it was not so. That was just
her way of expressing herself.
I was to meet Mimi at the mall at 2:30. She agreed to meet me outside
a coffee shop. She was going to help me find the perfect dress for
next Friday. After we found the dress, I would tell her how much I
wanted to be with her. I had a plan that I thought would work. Mimi
was to help me find a dress for a formal party at school I figured
that after we chose the right dress I would ask her if she would come
with me. I imagined it the night before. I imagined us talking over
lunch and me telling her what I had been longing to tell her. It would
be simple. I would look into her eyes and tell her how much I wanted
her to come with me. She had no idea that I wanted her to go with me
since she thought that I was going with a guy. At most she would say
no.
I looked at my watch and realized that she was going to be late as
always. She would be fixing her hair or doing her makeup at this time.
Minutes later, I saw her then walking my way. She was beautiful and
dressed to kill as always. She had her hair in one long braid down her
back and was wearing a pair of white shorts that were tight and showed
off her perfect body. The pink top that she had on had two strings
that kept it up and showed so much of her skin.
“Yolei I’m over here,” she waved as she ran over to me.
“Mimi how are you doing?” She smiled at me with that pleasant smile of
hers.
“I’m fine. I really do like that dress, but we’d better get started if
we want to miss the crowd."
“Of course.” We made our way to a store of Mimi’s chose.
“I think that we should start here,” she said gleefully. She was
always the queen of shopping and she knew it. She pointed into a store
that from what I could tell was very popular and expensive. It was
already crowded. We made our way in with Mimi pulling me by the arm.
Once inside the store, she went into her fashion instincts. She looked
around the store for the evening gown section and motioned for me to
follow her.
“What color are we looking for?” She queried with a huge grin on her
face. I could tell that was going to enjoy dressing me.
“I was thinking of a light color to go with my hair.” She nodded
knowingly.
“Well, something pink won’t work out at all because of your hair
color.” I nodded in agreement. She pointed to a blue fluffy dress that
was full of lace and flowers.
“How about that one?” I looked at it and shuddered. I figured that
since Mimi chose it she must think that it was pretty. I took it off
the rack to examine it.
“HMM, don’t you think it’s a bit - frilly?” She took it from me and
examined it herself.
“Maybe you’re right. Put it back.” She searched the rack some more to
find a dress for me. She hacked her way through the dresses until she
found a red one. She placed it against my chest to see how it would
look.
“This might do.”
We found the right one after what seemed like hours.
“How about this one?” she pulled out a long tight dress that was
definitely worth trying on.
“It’s nice, but there’s tear on it.” She took a look at it and
examined it with her hand.
“This is unacceptable!” she said.
“Sales lady, sales lady!" To stop all the commotion that Mimi was
causing a sales woman made her way to our area.
“What’s the matter?”
“This!” screamed Mimi pointing at the tear.
“I think we have another one…”
“You think you have another one? You had better have another one! My
friend here wants to try this dress on and here you are with this torn
piece of crap! What kind of store is this any way!” She grabbed my
hand and pulled me to the door. She threw the dresses at the sales
lady.
“Come on Yolei, there are many better stores that we can go to.” We
made our way to another store and instantly found another dress that
was even better than the last one.
“So what do you think?”
“It’s not bad. I like the color and it looks like it’ll fit a bit
tightly.”
“Exactly! You want it to fit tight. That way, it’ll show your perfect
figure. Come on lets check it out.”
She motioned for me to follow her into the dressing room. I was
surprised that she decided to come with me. When I finished putting it
on she helped me zip it up and said:
“It’s beautiful! It’s a perfect fit on you. You’ll have all the guys
drooling with that on.” She walked over to me for a closer look.
“See,” she smiled, "I swear you will be the most sexiest young woman
there.”
“Thanks, Mimi.”
------------------------------------------------------------
“Who are you going with?” She asked after we had paid for the dress.
“Umm…Lets go and eat lunch now. I’m starved!” She ignored her previous
question and followed me to a Sushi Restaurant. This was to be the
perfect time to tell her. I also had a few questions for her.
Recently, she had moved out to live on her own. I wanted to know what
it was like to live, with no parents around.
We got to the restaurant and ordered our lunch. It was while we were
talking about her move that she changed the subject.
"So what's it like?" I queried.
"What's what like?"
"Mimi, don't play dumb. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"And what's that?" She asked as she devoured a sushi roll.
"The move, Mimi! Did you forget already? Tell me what's it like. Do
you get to do whatever you like? Can you walk around in the nude
without anyone saying anything? Do you get to eat out whenever you
like? Is the rent expensive?"
"Oh, It's really nothing."
"How can it be nothing? You made the big move out of your parent's
house! It's big."
"It's okay."
"It's okay? Come on! It's got to be more than okay."
"It's really nothing, Yolei. I will tell you that I do walk around in
the nude." I was quiet for a moment. The thought of Mimi walking
around her apartment in the nude really amused me. I didn’t tell her
about my perverted thoughts.
"So, who's the handsome young man that's taking you to your party?"
"I…kind of wasn't asked out."
"Oh, Why not? Who are you going with then?"
"Yeah, that's what I was meaning to talk to you about. I was hoping
that maybe you could come with me."
She looked puzzled for a moment.
"You mean like a chaperone for you and your date?"
"Umm…no. I mean kind of like on a date…with me."
I never thought that anybody's face could change expression as many
times as Mimi's did. At first she looked confused. Then she seemed to
catch on to what I was asking of her. Then she seemed to be a bit
flattered by my advance. I took her hands in mine and kissed them. She
looked into my eyes and smiled so sweetly. But then her expression
changed drastically. She looked away from me and withdrew her hands.
"Yolei, I can't."
"But, Mimi…,"
"No, I can't go with you."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Are you worried about what the others would think?" I said desperate
for her to change her mind.
"I'm leaving! You had no right to do this!"
She didn't even give me time to talk or defend myself. She grabbed her
bag from the table and ran out the restaurant. I couldn't understand
what went wrong.
The last thing I remember was seeing her run out of the restaurant to
get away from me. I must have looked like a real idiot when I held her
hands and kissed them. I was an idiot to think that she could love me.
I left the restaurant. It didn't make sense for me to stay. I didn't
feel like going home right away either. My brothers and sisters would
be there and if they saw me this heart broken they would want to know
what happened to me. If I did tell them I'd start crying. I didn't
want them to see me like that.
I decided to take a walk and collect my feelings before I went home. I
decided to go the park that I used to go to with my siblings. Walking
through it would make me feel better about what had happened.
I was wrong about going to the park. I realized this as soon as I got
there. I walked over to the water fountain that was surrounded with
flowers that were pink, carnations; it made me think of Mimi and her
outrageous hair. I tried to ignore them but it was no use. I looked
around the park and noticed a couple sprawled out on a blanket having
a picnic. They looked so adorable together. My bottom lip started to
quiver as I saw the man capture the woman's lips in a kiss. That was I
wanted from Mimi. I knew it would be heaven. That would never happen
though since she wanted nothing to do with me. I wondered if I
disgusted her with my words. There was no other reason that I could
think of.
I must have looked really pathetic sitting on that park bench. There
were lovers all around me and I was alone, crying. When I met Mimi I
thought that the time had come for my loneliness to end. I would
finally be with someone who loved me. It was not so. I knew it then.
She ran away from me. She wanted nothing to do with me.
I got up from the bench and decided to go home. It was getting late
and I didn't want my mother to start worrying. Even though I lived
just right around the corner from the park, she would worry anyway.
My siblings where home and I was glad that I went to the park even
though it did not cheer me up. Had I gone straight home, they would
have suspected that something was wrong. I went past them and into my
room. They did not even notice me since they were watching that
American show Survivor. Whenever they watched that there was no way to
lure them from the television.
Once inside my room I hid the dress inside a closet. I didn't want my
mother to question me about it. I didn't want to tell her what
happened. I took a long, hot shower and got dressed. I still needed to
cheer myself up. There was just one last thing that I could do to make
myself feel better. I went into the music room where no one would
bother me and turned on a light. I sat down and started to play the
Moonlight Sonata. It’s full of angst and passion and anger. Maybe
Beethoven was feeling like I was when he composed it.
I only planned to play for about an hour, but I ended up playing for
hours more. I was so deep into what I was doing that I almost
completely forgot about Mimi and our encounter earlier. I did not even
hear when my mother came to get me.
“Honey are you okay?” I stopped playing to hear what she wanted to
say.
“I’m fine.”
“I’ve never seen you like this. Did someone do something to you
today?”
“No, Mom.”
“I think that you should get away from that Piano for a while. You’ve
been practicing like crazy!” I followed her out of the music room. She
led me into the kitchen. I could tell that she wanted to talk to me.
She made some herbal tea, and motioned for me to sit next to her. She
started to talk to me but was interrupted when the doorbell rang.
“You stay here and I’ll get the door. Don’t think that I’m finished
with you yet. ”I waited for her to come back and after what seemed
like so long she did. She was with Mimi.
“You two can go into the living room and I’ll bring some tea in
there.” Mimi followed me into the living room and we sat down on a
couch. I couldn’t say anything to her. I was still embarrassed about
what had happened. I couldn’t even look at her. I wasn’t sure if she
was waiting for me to talk or what she was thinking.
“Yolei, I’m sorry I should have told you the truth about how I felt.”
Why had she done that if she had liked me all along? She took my hands
and held them in her own. She kissed them just the same way that I had
done in the restaurant earlier. “Please, forgive me.” She waited for
me to respond. “I wasn’t truthful when we spoke about my move out
either. The real reason that I left was because my parents kicked me
out.”
“Oh Mimi, what happened?” She paused for a moment to collect her
thoughts. “They found out about… my preferences. They weren't too
happy about it and wanted me out. That’s why I was so reluctant to
talk about it."
"You should have told me. You shouldn't have to go through this
alone." I was surprised that her parents would do such a thing. They
had always seemed like accepting people. I moved closer to her and
kissed her forehead. I could tell that she had been crying and doing a
lot of thinking. It looked like she was about to start crying again.
"Don't cry." I whispered in her ear. It's not worth it. I'll be here
if you need me for anything.
"… Thanks Yolei." She whispered back." She started to cry anyway. I
wrapped my arms around her to comfort her. I couldn't bear to see her
cry like that. She buried her head in my shoulder and cried her heart
away. It must have been a heavy burden to carry. What kind of parents
throw their child out of their home? I told her to stop crying again.
Those tears running down her beautiful face made her look horrible. I
knew that she would never want to look that way if she could help it.
I kissed them away.
She looked at me. She wiped away the last tear that had fallen and
kissed my lips. I wasn't expecting her to do that. I kissed her back
anyway. It was what I had been longing for.
"How dare you! How *dare* you. I have been your mother for seventeen
years. I've done everything for you! This is how you repay me?" She
dropped the teapot and it crashed into the floor. The green tea that
was inside it flowed out of it and onto the clean carpet. "You have no
right to bring this," she pointed to Mimi, "into my home! What will my
family say when they find out about this! What will your grandmother
say? What will your father say?" She looked as if she was going to cry
or maybe she looked as if she were going to hit someone, preferably
me. It's not every day that you see your daughter kissing another
girl. "Get out!"
"Mom, I didn't do anything wrong!"
"I can't take this! I want no part of it."
"Mom… I don't understand."
" How can you not understand!" She snapped. "Get out!"
"Mom…"She picked up a picture from the TV and it seemed as if she
wanted to throw it at me.
"Yolei, I think we should leave." Whispered Mimi in my ear.
That seemed to rile her up some more. She looked as if she were about
to turn the apartment upside down.
"I will not tolerate this…this thing. You knew that I did not and
would not allow this in my home! Why did you do it!" She started
crying like a young child.
"Mom, I did nothing wrong." I whispered.
"Yolei, come on!" Mimi grabbed my hand and dragged me away from my
mother. She led me to the door and dragged me to the elevator.
"Mimi where are you taking me?" I whimpered. I could not believe what
had just happened. Even though it happened I did not want to believe
that it did. For years my mother and I lived as though we were two
good friends. There were times when she had to discipline me. That's
what mothers do. I could usually tell her everything… except about my
crush for Mimi. Maybe deep down inside I knew that she would act the
way she did. I guess that I never wanted to admit it. I should have
seen it long ago though.
------------------------------------------------------------
We were sitting down at the table eating as usual.
"Honey will you please pass the sushi rolls."
"How was work today dear?" Mother would say in her cheerful voice.
"It was okay today, the usual. We got a new employee to work with us
though."
"Well that's not usual now is it? What's the dear's name?"
"I tell you it's a damn shame the type of people they're hiring these
days. His name is Chastity."
"Honey please calm down."
"They need to hear about this! He is a cross-dressing he she whatever!
It's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. They've got
these faggots taking away all the good jobs from us decent people."
"Honey,I'm sick of it too! They're the reason that we've got this AIDS
epidemic in the first place!"
"I swear if anyone of my kids turned out that way I'd slap it out of
them!"
------------------------------------------------------------
I never thought that my parents would actually treat me that way since
I was their child. I think I believed that they were just making up
some kind of joke. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even realize
that I was in Mimi’s place. It was a two-bedroom apartment with a
small kitchen and a bathroom. She had it decorated in her favorite
colors of pink and white. I immediately liked the place. We went into
the small kitchen. She motioned for me to sit down. She said nothing
to meat all though. She just paced the floor back and forth with her
arms crossed. She was deep in thought. I could tell by that look on
her face. Maybe she was still trying to figure out what happened. I
didn’t want to believe it. Maybe that was why I appeared so calm and
relaxed. We stayed in this manner for what seemed like ages. I don’t
remember exactly what happened afterwards. I must have fallen asleep.
I woke up much later dressed in nightclothes that were not mine. I
felt on a nearby dresser for a clock. I hit the snooze button and saw
that it was well past 11:00. How long had I been sleeping? I didn’t
know. I thought for a moment that I was at home in my bed. I must have
left the lights off. I turned around and saw her sitting on the bed.
She was wide-awake. She was wearing a pink nightgown. There were bags
under her eyes and she didn’t have on any makeup. She was still
beautiful.
“You’re up.” She said. I nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
I yawned and stretched my arms. I moved closer to her and nuzzled
against her shoulder.
“What are you sorry about.”
“Why are you pretending like nothing happened! Yolei, your mom kicked
you out because of me. Aren’t you angry? Aren’t you at least annoyed?”
“Mimi, my mom loves me. I know that she does. She told me so herself.”
“Yolei, the way she looked I don’t think she going to change her mind
until I’m gone.” When she said that I knew that it was the truth. I
tried to forget that look on my mother’s face. I was hoping that she’d
be angry for only a little while and then take me back. Everything
would be normal again.
“Get dressed.”
“Why?” I cried.
“I’m taking you back to your mom. I started this and I have to fix
it.” She looked at me with a gloomy expression on her face.
“Mimi, you can’t.”
“And why not?”
“Because I’ll be miserable without you." My eyes spilled with tears
but she wiped them away.
“This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me coming to see you.”
“No Mimi, it would have happened away. She would have found out sooner
or later. She’s just not ready to accept this. She needs time to
adjust and get used to it. I think that’s all she needs, time.”
“Yolei", are you sure? The truth is that she might not want to see you
for a while. It’ll take her time to learn to accept it.”
“It’ll take her time, but I know that she will eventually.”
“You’re so hopeful. When they kicked me out I thought that was the end
of it.” She looked so sad I thought that she was going to cry. Instead
she kissed me again.
“I love you.” She whispered. She nibbled on my ear and kissed it. I
wrapped my arms around her and her hair was thrown in my face, it
carried a strong scent of vanilla.
"Let's stop crying. We look horrible like a pair of old hags. If we
keep thinking of them like this everyday we'll never be happy." She
said as she kissed me again.
“…happy” she said…. . .”
She brought my head closer to hers and nuzzled against my neck.
"You smell good." She whispered in my ear. "What is that?" She didn't
give me time to respond. I don't think she even wanted me to. She
started kissing my neck. "I like this scent." She pulled away after a
while and kissed my nose.
"You're beautiful. We even look something alike."
"Let's just cuddle, okay."
She grinned at me and pushed back a few stray hairs that were getting
loose.
I fell asleep in her arms that night. I didn't want things to go any
further. It was too early for that. I was ecstatic to be with her
finally but I still felt bad about what happened between my mother and
I. I know that she'll eventually come around. It'll just take her
time.
~*~
I would like to thank Darkling for his help. ^_^
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