"And just WHAT is that remark supposed to mean, Rally?" Moria Hedgley growled angrily, staring bullets at Irene "Rally" Vincent. "ULP!!!" The dusky vampire realized that she had just crossed a line and soon regretted it. "N-now take it easy, Moira!" she tried to say, holding up her hands in defense. "It's... it's not as bad as you think it is!" "IS IT, THEN!?!" Moria yelled sharply, eyes blazing. Soon, Rally had to duck as the maid threw a heavy statuette at her head. Soon, an all-out assault began as Moria started to throw almost anything that was not weighted-down or nailed in place at Rally, who at that moment began to frantically dodge those objects! "GET OUT!!!" Moria shrieked, hysterical beyond belief as she threw object-after-object. "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT... NOW!!!" Rally was more than willing to comply with her lover's request, not even bothering to open the door as she ran through the wall. As soon as she in the corridor of the sub-basement level, Rally walked against the wall and slumped down to the floor. Moira, in the meantime, continued her tirade, throwing objects at no place in particular and yelling various obscenities as she did. From her place on the floor, Rally would wince whenever something broke or impacted, shaking her head in sympathy. "Bad?" the voice of Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing offered. Looking up, she saw the leader of the Hellsing Organization, along with Seras Victoria and Walter C. Dolnez, who were standing behind her, all with concerned looks on their faces. "The worse I've seen from her!" Rally replied, still looking at the door. "I had to make some stupid crack on how bloated she was from retaining water and then thisexplosion happened!" Drawing up her knees to her chest, she placed her head on them and added. "Believe me Integra, Master, Pre-Menstrual Syndrome is something I DO NOT miss about being a human!" "I wouldn't worry about it too much, Rally," Seras said, sympathetic. "I know you didn't mean to offend her. Poor Moria." Sir Integra nodded and turned to the old butler. "Walter, go down to my medicine cabinet and fetch the Midol! Never mind about removing any tablets, just get the bottle!" "Of course, Sir Integra. I will also contact our confectioner about obtaining a quantity of Belgian chocolates for her," the old butler said, bowing. Walter then added to Rally and Seras, "If you two would like to know, Alucard and Captain Bernadotte have kindly consented to take-up extra duties so that you ladies can... help to deal with this crisis Miss Hedgley is experiencing right now." "Thanks, Walter," Rally sighed, rubbing the back of her head. "I just hope her period starts soon. I can't deal with seeing Moria suffering the way she is right now." "So do I, Rally," the Draculina said, seating herself to Rally's left, while Sir Integra leaned next to the door. "Her hormones at this moment must be having a siege within her body." "I would imagine you were similar in your reaction, Rally," the Hellsing leader offered, "when you were experiencing similar symptoms as Moria." Rally laughed humorlessly. "You could say that, Integra. But when it came to cravings afterwards during that time, it wasn't with chocolate." Seras looked at her curiously. "What was it then?" she asked. The very thought of what she was about to say next brought a smile to Rally's face. "Key lime pie." "Really? I didn't think you can obtain key lime pie in Chicago," answered Seras, surprised. "Not normally, Master," the dusky vampire continued. "However, there was this baker that was originally from Key West in Florida. He set-up his business down the street from my shop and began raking in bucks with his creations - which included key lime pie. So whenever I was going through my moods before my period, either May, Misty, Becky or Roy would pop-over there and buy one for me." A dreamy look came over her face, remembering the experience. "You know Rally," Sir Integra said, breaking up the pause, "you can still have key lime pie if you like." "Really?" Rally was intrigued. "Certainly. You and Seras have been keeping up your blood intake, so it would not be too much trouble if you can ask Walter to bake one for you." She then added, "Moria is an even better baker than him... but..." Sir Integra paused a bit as a new barrage of screaming, cursing, and throwing of objects came from Moria in the other room. "You understand my point, do you?" "I understand, Integra," replied Rally, faintly smiling. All of a sudden, however, the sound of breaking pottery caught the dusky vampire's attention, followed by an abrupt silence. "Oh crap," Rally breathed, looking as if she saw what happened, "I think Moria just screwed-up BIG TIME!" "Oh my god!?!" Moria's voiced whimpered from behind the door, then screamed, "OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!" The screams and vulgarities of a few seconds ago were now replaced by a loud, mournful wail, followed by heavy sobbing and crying. A few seconds later, Walter returned with a bottle of pills in his hand. But before he could open the door, Sir Integra motioned the butler to hand her the bottle. And just as quick, she rapped on the door. "Who... who is it?" the maid sniffled. "Moria, I have Midol for you!" Sir Integra replied loudly. The door briefly opened, an arm stretching from the opening. The Hellsing leader firmly placed the bottle into the waiting hand, which drew back inside and the door closing. "Thank you... Sir Integra," Moria blubbered. After a few seconds, the crying resumed. Rally and Seras just stared at the door silently for a few seconds. "Poor Moria," the dusky vampire whispered. "Rally... what just happened? Why did Moria suddenly flip-flopped?" the Draculina asked, mystified. "I'll tell you as soon as we're out of Moria's earshot, Master," was all Rally said as she and Seras walked away from the door. THE KITCHEN, A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER... "So that is what happened," Walter said as he finished cleaning-up his baking station. "I must say, the whole episode is totally regrettable on Miss Hedgley's part. I wonder if she has forgiven herself for it?" "I'm not certain about that part, Walter," Rally said as she and Seras sat near the table, units of blood in their hands. "Moria's mind is still a bit jumbled-up from the hormones raging within her, so it's hard to get a clear picture on what's she's feeling." "But still," the Draculina added, "we should get ready when it happens." She then changed the subject, "By the way, Walter, I was surprised you were able to whip it up on such short notice." "Well luckily most of the ingredients were at hand to begin with, so all I had to do is purchase the last part of it, Miss Victoria," Walter replied, smiling. "Hopefully, it will be close to the genuine article." Rally just nodded, still silent. After a while, "Walter...I hate to say this... and I know this is bringing-up a painful subject again... but I was wondering how well you and Master knew Moria's grandfather, Peter Farguson?" "Very well to begin with, Miss Vincent," Walter kindly replied. "Around the time of the first Gulf War, he was a highly-decorated member of the British Army before his service to Sir Integra. It was a damned shame his reputation was placed into question when Incognito attacked." "You would've liked him if you met him, Rally," Seras added, smiling. "He was one of the few people who ever gave me a chance after I was turned besides Captain Garrett... although he did say in the beginning that I was a bit highly-strung." A sad look came over her face. "I wish I could've saved him that night." All Rally could do was to look sadly at the two as for the next ten minutes Walter and Seras exchanged stories about the departed Fargason for her. Then all of a sudden, something had caught the dusky vampire's attention, as if a large bell had sounded. She then stood up, looking like she was listening. "Is there something wrong, Miss Vincent?" Walter asked, noticing. "Yes, you seem a bit distracted, Rally," the Draculina offered. Rally didn't answer immedietly, instead still looking as if she was listening. "It's started," she finally said. Walter caught on. "Miss Hedgley's period?" he asked. Rally nodded in the affirmative. "Well, at least the recovery will soon begin. However, I suggest we wait for a few minutes before we approach her. My guess is that her hormone level is still high enough to cause an adverse reaction." He paused for a bit before adding, "And at the very least it will give time for it to cool down." "Got it," Rally said, headed out of the kitchen. "I'll tell Integra, though. She might like to talk to her first." "A good idea, Rally," Seras suggested. THE SUB-BASEMENT LEVEL, AN HOUR LATER... All Moria could do was to sit at the table and stare miserably at the object at the center of it - a tiny porcelain figurine that was in two pieces, the tears in her eyes continuing to stream-out as she did. The quarters she shared with Rally and Seras was a mess, various objects strewn all over the floor. As for the maid/werewolf, she was only dressed in panties and a white, open-faced shirt, bra-less. There was a bit of a bulge in the panties, presumably for the adsorbent pads she was wearing, taking into account her menstrual cycle. But soon, her face screwed-up into a look of pain as Moria curled-up in her chair, clutching her abdomen. "Damn it... ALL!!!" she groaned, feeling the pain subside. "These cramps are SObloody annoying! I wish this whole damned episode will come to pass soon!" The knocking of the door caught her attention. Absently, Moria got-up from her chair and opened it - and was startled to see Sir Integra standing outside! "Oh dear god, please excuse me!" she sputtered, furiously blushing as she is struggling to close her shirt. "I'll let you in, Sir Integra, just wait until I find something more appropriate!" "Do not worry yourself, Moria," the Hellsing leader said, a small brown box in her right hand. "We are both women here, so I will excuse your..." she blushed slightly, "state of immodesty that you are in for now." "Oh thank you," the maid sighed, leading her employer inside. As soon as they were seated, though, Moria winced slightly. "But if you don't mind though, I... I would like to take this shirt off. My breasts are so sensitive right now, the slightest contact with the fabric against my nipples is uncomfortable." "Well I can imagine you can come to some... accommodation on my behalf," Sir Integra offered, "so you have my permission." "Oh thank you, Sir Integra." Moria then slipped-off the shirt, and did her best as she folded-up her arms in front of her exposed breasts - very large normally but huge because of her cycle. "It's just that... with all the water gain I'm experiencing right now, my breasts are so swollen and heavy, it feels like they're a couple of sacks of rocks in front of me. Even if I could wear a bra, I'd have a bother of a time trying to get the thing cinched-up because of the swelling." Sir Integra just nodded silently while slightly blushing, taking note of not only Moria's swollen breasts - but the rest of her body, which seemed to be showing the effects of water retention. She then saw the broken figurine on the table. "One of yours?" she offered, pointing to it. Moria just sadly nodded. "It was given to me by Grandfather Peter on my fifth birthday," she groaned, then fell into a fit of sobbing. "One of the few thing I have to remember him by - only to have me chuck it against the wall in a hormonal fit!" She continued to cry for a couple of minutes more. During Moria's crying fit, Sir Integra took the time to examine the broken statuette, often making notes on the original configuration. When she was satisfied with what she saw, she said, "Well from the looks of it, it seems that the damage to this object is minimal... even repairable Listen, I will take this to Walter and see if he could mix some epoxy to mend it. Granted there will be a scar remaining, but I believe you will still have this to value Commander Farguson's memory." "You... you will?" Moria observed hopefully. "Oh thank you, Sir Integra!" She then hugged Sir Integra furiously, which caused the Hellsing leader to blush greatly, feeling her employee's large breasts on her body. She then was able to settle down, adding, "I don't understand this, though. I've had pre-menstrual meltdowns before, but this was a first, even for me! How in the world was it so... violent this time?" "Offhand, I have not much on why," Sir Integra said, but then added, "but if I were to speculate further, your past episodes must have happened before your abilities as a werewolf surfaced." This revelation brought a horrified look to Moria's face. "No..." she gasped. "You don't think... I dread to think what would've happened if this occurred during a night of the Full Moon!" "More than likely, the consequences would have been fatal for all concerned," Sir Integra concluded. "Now I would not worry too much about the future. I will ask Walter about constructing a special room that you might wish to confine yourself in such a matter." She then looked around the room and added, "And you might consider using such a room for... another such occurrence like tonight's'. There can also be blunt rubber objects inside if you feel the urge to throw such things. Less likelihood of you accidentally breaking anything valuable." "Uh... yes," Moria said, examining the room herself. "I've really made a right mess of this place, that's for certain. At least Rally's telly is intact," looking at the HDTV attached to the wall. But then, she started sobbing again, placing her head against the table, "Not to mention I attacked her to begin with! I DO hope she can forgive me for my actions!" Sniffling, she wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry about acting this way, Sir Integra. It seems my hormones are still a little off-kilter." "Understandable," Sir Integra replied in a comforting tone. "You may take the rest of the week off to recover. And nevermind about returning the Midol; I feel you might need it. In the meantime," she added, handing the box to Moria, "I would like you to have this." Curious, Moria decided to take a look at the gold printing on the box - which caused her eyes to widen. "GODIVA!?!" she gasped, recognizing the brand on the chocolate box. "Sir Integra, I... I can't possibly accept this! It's way too expensive!!" "Think of it as a gift to an ailing friend," the Hellsing leader assured. "I always get myself a box whenever my period is close. Never underestimate the therapeutic and spiritual qualities of theobromite and tryptophan, Moria." Picking-up the pieces of the broken statuette, she got up from the table, "Now if you will excuse me, I must be going. Please try to get some rest." Still in a little bit of a shock from accepting the expensive chocolates, Moria looked at her employer. "Y-yes, and thank you, Sir Integra." As she exited the room, the Hellsing leader took the time to compose herself, exhaling a sigh of relief. 'My god, that was too close,' she thought to herself. 'If Moria held that embrace for any longer, I might have done something we BOTH would later regret! Oh well, chalk it all up for self-control and British resolve.' Then as an afterthought, she added, 'And none of your snide remarks about it or Moria's condition as well, am I clear about THAT, Alucard?' Somewhere within the confines of the great mansion, a certain red-garbed vampire groaned his disappointment. 'Yes, my master,' Alucard sourly replied. XXX Almost immedietly after Sir Integra had left, Moria had begun to straighten-out the room she nearly destroyed, picking-up odd items and placing them in their proper place. However, when she came to the stuffed panda Rally's friend May had given her, she couldn't help but to feel a stab of regret and remorse. Clutching the toy to her naked breasts, tears once again flowed as Moria hugged the bear tightly. "Rally..." she whimpered, rocking back-and-fourth with the bear. "Oh my lovely... please forgive me." Still sad, she returned the bear to its place on the shelf and continued to clean-up. However, before she could proceed further, another cramp - a BIG one - floored Moria, sending her to the edge of the coffin/bed. For the better part of thirty seconds, the girl fought the pain, at one time her emerald green eyes shifting to bluish-white, and the canine teeth in her mouth sharpening. Finally, it was gone, but it's damage already done. More out of frustration than anger, Moria pounded the mattress, screaming, "WHY - OH WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD DO I HAVE TO WAGE WAR WITH MY OWN BODY EVERY... SINGLE... MONTH!?!?" She then collapsed face-first into it, crying heavily. "Moria - are... are you alright?" Surprised, Moria's head shot-up as she looked behind her to find Rally and Seras standing behind her, a covered white plastic pie tray in the dusky vampire's hands, while the Draculina held a foam plate, plastic fork and cutting knife. "Yes dear," Seras said, following Rally's opening remark, "you seem to be in a bit of distress right now." Gingerly, Moria accepted the hand of Rally after the dusky vampire set her load on the table. "Listen, Rally..." the maid began, only to have her beloved hold up her hand. "Before you say anything, Moria, there's something I like you to hear first," Rally began, inviting Moria to sit down. "It's about something that happened before I was turned - when I was P.M.S.'d and P.O.'d." She sighed, which meant Rally was about to begin. "There was this take-down of a bail-jumper I was participating with, May, Misty and Roy was there, the whole thing happened five days before my period started. Anyway, this jumper had to make this 'fat joke', all about how I was retaining water. Mind you, something like that I could normally take-it-or-leave-it. However, since I was suffering a bout of 'raging hormones' at the time, I lost it completely and went to cap the poor guy! "What happened next I'm still trying to forget; just as I was about to put a bullet in this guy's head, everyone tried to wrestle me to the ground and disarm me. They were able to do it in the end..." a look of regret came over Rally's face, "... but I ended-up decking Roy as a result!" "Oh my goodness!" Seras gasped, horrified. She knew how Rally felt about Roy Coleman; he was like the brother she never had. "I hope you didn't get in too much trouble as a result of it." "Roy was understanding, Master," Rally continued. "He knew I was out-of-sorts because of the P.M.S. and didn't press charges. I did had to stay in the lock-up for about three days to calm down, though - and that's when the big misunderstanding happened." By now, another cramp had hit Moria, but it was minor compared to the last one. "Rally, what exactly happened?" she asked, recovering. "My little fit scared the hell out of May and Misty - so much so that, while I was cooling my heels downtown, those two, Becky and Roy, managed to hide all the guns in my house." "And she has a LOT of guns, from what I saw while I was in Chicago, Moria," Seras added. Rally nodded. "Anyway," she continued, "after I got out of jail, I was so worn-out from the whole experience, I decided to head to the basement to work on some projects I had - and totally flipped-out when I saw the bare walls!" She took some time to compose herself before adding, "Roy was there, and he hauled me out to a room the guys had prepared beforehand. I spent the next two days in that room, screaming my head off and calling them all sorts of horrible names." Sighing, "Then my period hit, and as soon as my hormone levels settled-down to a reasonable level, I spent the next day in bed crying my eyes out, remembering every single... hateful word I uttered and begging them for forgiveness because of it." Moria just sat there, enraptured by the story of contrition that Rally had related. She was equally surprised when the dusky vampire turned to face her and said with a smile, "And you know what - they DID! After all, they knew it wasn't my fault anyway. It was exactly what Becky had said afterwards." In what could be observed as a staged event, Rally pulled-out a pair of eyeglasses that Becky 'the Nose' Farrah would wear, placed it over her eyes, and in a startlingly-accurate imitation of the information expert's voice, said, "'Rally, you have nothing to be sorry about. You just reacted exactly in the way all women have reacted in such a situation. And don't forget - that was your hormones talking back there - your brain knows better!'," then removed the glasses and hid them in the shadows in her coat. For some strange reason, Moria had found herself giggling at this display. "Rally," she said, "your impersonation of Becky was spot-on - not to mention she did relay an excellent piece of sage advice back there!" "Indeed," Seras added. "I glad you've remembered it." "Oh Becky made sure I remembered it, Master," Rally replied, starting to snicker, "right about the time it was either Misty or May's turn for their periods, and we had to hide the knives or explosives!" That caused all three girls to burst-out laughing. But for the longest time, it was Moria that was laughing the hardest, her naked breasts bouncing as she did. Finally wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, the maid finally said, "I guess you're right, Rally. I've been making a mountain out of a mole hill because of the whole thing." But then her face got serious as she added, "But still, there was no excuse for what I did! I do hope you forgive me for it!" "Apology officially accepted," Rally said, smiling. "Look, I know you're still feeling bad about the whole thing, so because of something I mentioned during your little tizzy, Walter was kind enough to bake a key lime pie for it." "Key lime pie?" queried Moria. "Yes," Seras added, placing the plate and fork in front of the maid and handing her the knife. "Rally made mention of this bake shop near the gun shop she had. Whenever she was suffering from 'the menstrual blues', her friends would scrap together some money and purchase a key lime pie for her." "Even though Integra said we could," Rally added, "me and Master better avoid sampling the pie. You do remember the bread incident when I first came here, do you Moria?" "Why yes," the maid said. Then looking at the still-covered pie, she exclaimed, "Now wait a minute - are you two expecting me to eat a whole pie in a single sitting?" "No," Rally said, then thumbed at a compact refrigerator, added, "You can have one piece if you like, then cover the rest up for some snacks later." A small tear rolled down Moria's cheek. "Both of you are just too kind," she said as she lifted the cover. "I hope I would feel worthy of this small gift you..." But then all of a sudden, an odd look came over her face. "Rally, Seras... I thought you said you two wouldn't have a sample of the pie." "Yeah," Rally replied, mystified. "That pie is yours, after all," the Draculina added. "Then... why in the world is a portion already taken for it?" Moria asked, pointed at the pie. "WHAAAT!?!?" Both Rally and Seras took look at the pie at the table. Sure enough, a large wedge of it was taken from the dessert. "How is this possible?" Rally gasped, still incredulous. "Master, do you think Walter..." "Walter would NEVER do anything like that!" Seras countered. "I know Alucard, nor Integra would do this!" Rally added, "But who would..." Then all of a sudden, Rally remembered a small, insignificant occurrence a while back... FLASHBACK, A HALF-HOUR AGO... Rally had left the kitchen with Seras and Walter, to get ready to deliver the pie to Moria. Along the way, the three happened to pass Pip Bernadotte, leader of the Wild Geese, who was walking towards it. "Rally, Mignonette," the Frenchman asked, curious, "where are you going?" No reply. Shrugging, Pip decided to try to look for a snack. Upon entering the kitchen, Pip happened to notice the pie in its container. "Oh... pie!" he said, lifting the cover. "And key lime, too, eef ze aroma ees of any indication!" Finding a knife, the Frenchman lifted the cover. "Well, I hope Walter doesn't mind eef I take a... small slice from eet." END FLASHBACK "PIP!!!" Rally yelled angrily, her orange-red eyes glowing brightly, "THAT SWARMY SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!" Bolting out of her chair, the pissed vampire headed for the door. "RALLY!!!" Seras called-out, concerned, "I HOPE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO SOMETHING RASH!!" "Oh if you're worried that I'm going to kill the little frog for dipping into Moria's pie," Rally sarcastically snarled, "I can tell you that all I'm going to do is give him a scare so bad, he's going to be shitting and pissing in the bed from the nightmares for a month!" "Rally, don't you dare!!!" the Draculina called out as her childe stormed-out of the room. "Seras," Moria called-out, peeking through the door, "if you happen to save Captain Bernadotte, tell him I don't mind sharing, but he should've asked first!" Satisfied she got the message out - as well as ignoring another cramp, Moria decided to help herself to a modest wedge of the key lime pie on the table. "Mmmm... lovely," she remarked as she taken a taste. "Not discounting for Mr. Dolnez's baking skills," Moria added, raising an appraising finger, "I would've added at least a half-teaspoon of freshly-grated zest to the custard - to enhance the flavor of the limes." END AUTHOR'S NOTE - Let's face it, this HAS to be the longest short story I've written. I'm still working on my other projects, but oddly, it was in a dream I had a few days ago I came up with the story. Over the next few days, I've kept working and re-working the plot until I was satisfied with the results. Please R&R, I like to know how I treated Moria's experience with P.M.S.. As for future projects for 'Night Angels', however, I would like a little input on what I should do with Moria Hedgley. I'm happy about making her a werewolf and a regular in the series, but I've got a few ideas bouncing around in my head on how to expand on her character - which would include a plot device borrowed from another anime, 'Fullmetal Alchemist'. Let me know what you think. Until the next story... LATER!!!
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