The Cat and the Bee (part 41 of 51)

a Bleach fanfiction by BebopSamurai

Back to Part 40
Guilt

Yoruichi didn't recall having fallen asleep, just that at some point 
she'd lost track of how many dots she'd counted on the textured ceiling. 
She'd started her counting anew once some form of cognizance had 
returned to her, not daring to move an inch in the hopes that she 
wouldn't wake the slender body on her.

Soi had a hand resting just below her right breast, fingers 
unconsciously sliding back and forth on her bare skin, which had only 
added to her difficulty in falling asleep. Small mounds of flesh 
squashed slightly into the arm caught underneath the Chinese girl, and 
the slow, even flow of breath on her neck all served to keep Yoruichi 
firmly where she lay, torn between the growing desire to stare and the 
necessity of looking away, to gain some semblance of balance again.

There wasn't a window in this room but the blinds in the adjundant 
spaces were pulled, letting the morning light gradually seep throughout 
the house. Eventually Soi stirred, and despite herself Yoruichi felt her 
eyes on Soi again, hypnotized as she watched the girl use the back of 
her hand to rub the sleep out of her eyes, her yawn surprisingly 
melodic.

It took Soi a moment to remember why she was sleeping naked next to 
Yoruichi, but when realization hit the girl her normal impulse-- to run, 
to apologize, anything-- failed, leaving her to simply smile as she laid 
her head on the upperclassman's shoulder, blushing slightly to herself, 
the euphoria from only a few hours ago still hanging over her like a 
drunken haze. She either didn't notice Yoruichi flinch slightly, or she 
was too happy to care.

"...Good morning."

"M...morning," the older girl managed, hoping she hadn't sounded too 
conspicuous. Again, Soi didn't notice, but she did lift herself up 
slightly when she realized she was laying on Yoruichi's arm.

"Oh...I-I'm sorry...I didn't even--"

"...It's fine," Yoruichi said as she forced a smile, struggling all the 
while to avoid staring at the now-exposed body before her. To her silent 
gratitude Soi shifted herself off of the sleeping limb, but then the 
girl surprised both of them by lowering her head to Yoruichi's shoulder 
and planting a soft kiss on the surface.

Soi's body slowly continued this affectionate display, leaving a row of 
warm, hungry kisses that ended at the older woman's neck, and in spite 
of herself Yoruichi let out a shuddering sigh, let her hand wander 
through the locks of unbound hair that spread across Soi Fong's back, 
fingertips memorizing the slight bumps of spine that protruded through 
skin. Soi gave a groan, elated and content at the touch, but as she 
eagerly felt herself reach for Yoruichi's face with lips and tongue at 
the ready, the upperclassman gently extracted herself from the embrace 
and shifted out of bed.

"...Are you okay?" Soi asked quietly, confused by Yoruichi's 
rather...cold reaction. Yoruichi turned to look at her, eyes glued to 
the sight of the freshman looking up at her from the bed, askew sheets 
barely covering her petite form, smooth feet exposed to the slightly 
chill air. She wasn't sure what her intended response had been, but she 
felt herself smile warmly at Soi, bewildered by the fact that even 
though she was still without clothing Soi maintained eye contact, as if 
entranced not by her body but by her face.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just...I'm gonna go make us some breakfast, okay?" To 
her relief Soi smiled in acceptance, but before Yoruichi could stop 
herself she'd planted another light kiss on the petite girl's forehead. 
She tried to look natural as she walked towards the door, then 
remembered that her clothes were in a pile with Soi's on the other side 
of the bed. The freshman couldn't help but give a laugh, warm and 
wonderfully natural, at Yoruichi's absentmindedness, unable to look away 
as the older woman put her jeans and bra back on, silver eyes memorizing 
every nuance of her movements that she could.

----------

The Shihouin woman rubbed her eyes as she stood over the steadily frying 
skillet of eggs, exhausted not so much by a lack of sleep as she was 
from the actions that now resulted in her fatigue.

She'd never meant to do THAT with Soi. But all the excuses in the world 
didn't make her feel any better, didn't make her dilemma any easier to 
deal with.

Goddamnit-- I'm such a hypocrite, she thought bitterly as she gave a 
dark chuckle into her hand. She'd sworn she would protect Soi, that she 
wouldn't let anything like this happen to her, that she'd never let 
anyone touch a hair on her head again. And yet she'd been, the dark girl 
reminded herself guiltily, the first to take her. What kind of friend-- 
of protector-- was she if she couldn't even control herself? She was so 
lost in her thoughts as she absentmindedly flipped the eggs that she 
didn't notice Soi had snuck up on her until she felt a pair of thin arms 
around her waist and a head resting lightly on the back of her neck.

"Wh...what are you doing?" the senior asked reflexively, surprised at 
the amount of uneasiness in her own voice. Soi shrugged her shoulders as 
she held on just a little tighter, gave a sigh that tickled the back of 
the taller girl's neck, making her shiver just enough to make Soi's 
content smile widen.

"...Nothing," she answered simply, with just a bit of a tease in her 
voice. It was true; she wasn't sure even now what caused this, for her 
to be so AFFECTIONATE for no reason at all. No. She did know, and it 
made her happier than anything in the world. Part of Soi wanted to just 
say it, to scream it out loud to anyone who would hear, but why bother? 
Yoruichi knew. She HAD to know how she felt; Soi had seen her own 
feelings reflected too much in those flawless golden eyes last night for 
it to be a mistake.

Her hands moved slowly on their own, making nonsensical shapes on 
Yoruichi's uncovered stomach that she was failing to ignore, aware that 
the eggs in front of her were burning but unable to move for fear that 
she'd snap again. Fortunately the phone rang, and when Soi reluctantly 
walked off to answer it Yoruichi let out a sigh of relief. She finished 
the slightly darkened breakfast easily enough, so grateful for the 
distraction that she didn't realize her meal was actually edible as she 
bit into it numbly.

"Yoruichi!"

"Y-yeah?" the senior mumbled as she was forced to return to the present, 
puzzled by the even-more-ecstatic look on Soi's face as she ran past the 
kitchen to retrieve her coat.

"The hospital just called-- they said Dad woke up!"

----------

After a quick brunch (which Soi had quietly thanked Yoruichi over) the 
senior called Urahara, who upon hearing the news gladly drove the girls 
back to the medical building. They were all going past the hall full of 
rooms, wondering if they had the wrong side of the building when the 
sound of frustrated yelling drifted in through the nearest open door.

"I told you, I don't need one of those-- I'm perfectly capable of-- 
Ahhh!"

"Mr. Fong, as you can plainly see you can barely lift yourself off the 
bed, much less walk to the bathro--"

"DAD!"

At the sound of his daughter's voice Zhou turned from away from the 
orderly at the foot of his bed, his scowl melting into a glad smile.

"Well, if it isn't the birthday gi-- OWW!"

"Oh! I-I'm sorry!" Soi apologized as she released her father from her 
embrace, remembering too late why he was even here.

"...It's okay, Soi-chan," he assured her with a slightly pained 
expression. "I'm the one who's stuck in a cast, after all."

"Excuse me, ma'am," the scrub-clad man said gruffly as he ran his thumb 
over the stubble on his chin, "...but are you a relative?"

"Of COURSE she is!" Urahara growled at him irritably, in no mood after 
last night to deal with another ignorant member of the medical 
profession. "...And we're all here to see him too, so if you could 
KINDLY let the girl visit with her father..." The orderly opened his 
mouth to prepare some ill-conceived manner of rebuttal, but upon staring 
down the green-eyed man for a few seconds he decided that discretion was 
the better part of valor.

"...Just don't let him move around too much. He's been demanding to 
leave ever since he came to." At the orderly's exit Kisuke grinned, then 
turned to the Fongs.

"Well, I guess we should let you two visit," the blonde said as he 
motioned for Yoruichi to follow him.

"Huh? But..." the freshman muttered, a lump forming in her throat as she 
watched the bronze woman begin to walk away. "...I thought you wanted to 
say hi to Dad," she finished quickly.

"We will-- but I figure you guys want to be left alone for a bit-- 
'family time' and all that."

"Oh. Well, bye..." Soi began but stopped as Yoruichi's form became 
obscured by the reinforced door. She put her smile back on as she turned 
to her father, immediately asking how he was feeling.

----------

"You seem a little tense." Yoruichi froze for barely a moment as her 
fingers fumbled with the tab on her can of orange soda, but to Urahara's 
silent frustration her face gave nothing away to his statement.

"...I should be. Didn't...get much sleep last night..." the younger of 
the two finished distractedly. Urahara could tell there was more to that 
statement than she was letting on-- the odd look of masked frustration 
on Yoruichi's face as she'd sat next to a strangely content Soi Fong on 
the way to the hospital had been enough of a red flag-- but all the same 
he decided to let the matter drop. He'd only get into an argument with 
her, not something he particularly wanted at this point.

"So," Kisuke exclaimed after a few minutes of silence, finishing of his 
can of coffee in a single swig, "...Kuukaku was tellin' me that she was 
gonna go out dancing with some friends at Homounka on V-Day... she 
wanted to make sure you were still coming."

"You talk like you're not a party to that at all," Yoruichi muttered 
with what Kisuke could only assume was sarcasm. He chuckled at his 
friend as she grinned slightly, so he decided his line of thinking had 
been correct.

"Well, I AM... but she was pretty certain you'd be making plans with 
...someone else, so..."

"Of course I'm coming," Yoruichi finished, just a bit too defensively, 
for which she cursed herself silently. "...I don't know what she's 
talking about." Again Kisuke caught that dismissive tone, and again he 
wanted to ask her about it, but instead he glanced at his watch and, 
realizing that it had been nearly a half-hour already, told Yoruichi 
that they'd better get back to the room and at least greet Soi's father 
formally, as he had work in a little over an hour.

----------

A few hours later Yoruichi sat in front of the living room television, a 
half-eaten pepperoni/mushroom pizza resting on the coffee table and an 
old black-and-white movie playing on Channel 53; by the attentive gaze 
Soi was levelling on it the film must have been good, but Yoruichi was 
barely paying it any mind. Part of her just wanted the day to be over, 
hoping that she could somehow force some food down her throat if the 
sick feeling of guilt in her stomach would give her a moment's peace. 
She nearly flinched when Soi placed a trembling hand on her arm, then 
reminded herself that last night had just been a lapse in her behavior. 
It didn't mean anything, she was just being stupid.

"Yoruichi? Are you okay?"

"Y...Yeah, I'm fine," The older woman answered with a smile, not daring 
to look Soi in the eye. "I'm just-- just a little tired."

"You don't have to stay up with me... I know it's kind of weird that I 
like these movies anyway..."

"No...I like it," Yoruichi assured her, feeling even guiltier when Soi's 
nervous expression lightened into a small grin.

"Sorry...I'm just feeling a little... odd, I guess," the freshman said 
with a laugh, the slight sound ringing gently in Yoruichi's ears. She 
could feel it welling up inside her again, that temptation as her 
disobedient eyes kept their gaze on Soi. She was trying to convince 
herself to talk to Soi, to tell her that she hadn't meant for it to go 
that far last night, when she felt a pair of hesitant lips on her bare 
shoulder. Looking down fearfully her face met with Soi's mop of dark 
hair, face hidden behind it as the younger girl planted kisses along her 
arm. The display of affection, coupled with the aroma of Soi's hair 
before her weakened Yoruichi, and her attempts to protest only came out 
as long, slow gasps for breath as Soi's lips traveled to her jawline. 
She had to stop this now-- the stain of Soi's lost virginity still hung 
over her head; she couldn't do this again, especially when her hands had 
already begun tracing the curve of Soi's slight back. To her temporary 
relief Soi stopped, then flinched as if she'd only just now come to the 
realization of what she was doing. Relief disappeared as Soi leaned 
against her, head resting just below the upperclassman's chin and hands 
nestled on either of her shoulders, looking admittedly adorable and 
helpless at the same time.

"...Thank you, Yoruichi." The words, so honest and free of pretense, 
stung at Yoruichi just a little bit worse than Soi's unexpected touch.

"F-for what?" the woman asked quietly, aware only of the warmth 
radiating from Soi's body at the moment.

"Everything," Soi answered with a whisper and a smile, gazing up at her 
with such a mixed palatte of emotion that it was all Yoruichi could do 
to hold her, hold her and pray that Soi fell asleep before she could let 
last night repeat itself, a prospect that seemed to grow dangerously 
closer every second. The end credits of the movie had rolled long after 
she finally heard Soi's breathing grow slow and even, and Yoruichi moved 
her as carefully as she could to the pillow before she finally let out 
the breath she was holding. She could feel her heart pounding, something 
in her aching to hold the girl a little longer, but instead her hands 
clenched into fists, bringing one furiously down on the couch in 
self-loathing.

This isn't right.

She'd never once felt inadequate-- that there was someone who was too 
good for her-- but she had that feeling as she watched Soi sleep beside 
her, so peaceful and INNOCENT after yesterday that it almost didn't seem 
real. But she couldn't let Soi look at her like that, couldn't let those 
adoring eyes settle on a person like her, couldn't let Soi continue to 
be in love with her for a second more. Not to mention that the slightest 
bit of contact seemed to render her utterly incapable of putting up a 
fight, a reaction she couldn't say she was familiar with. It was wrong, 
this wasn't her, she'd never once been like this.

She had to get Soi away from her as soon as she could.

Onwards to Part 42


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