Author's note: Rated for language, subject matter later on, and just in case anything else comes up in this series that I have to cover myself for. This is a comedy, so turn your brains off, sit back, and relax. And yes, I stole the idea of the different earths vibrating at different speeds from pre-Crisis DC continuity. ------ Priss sat in a chair in Raven's Garage as Sylia paced back and forth in front of her. She'd never seen the normally cool and detached leader of the Knight Sabers so angry before. It wasn't even her fault anyway. Linna and Dr. Stingray knew about her temper, and they still egged her on by leaving her there between dimensions. "Sylia, I..." "Shut up, Priss! You don't get to talk. Not until I calm down enough to not kill you." "Hey, you don't even know what happened while you were gone!" "I know Linna's got a sprained wrist and a red mark on her rear the same size and shape as your foot." "And how would you know what the hell size and shape her red mark is?" "I... well I... The doctor she went to told me as she was getting her sprain looked at, smart ass. He also said it's going to be a week before she can sit down without a cushion." "Fine, I'm sorry, okay. Next time I'll take my hardsuit off before I boot someone." Sylia put her hand to her forehead and began to massage her temple. Somehow, she always seemed to get these migraines whenever she tried to reprimand Priss for her actions. "You know, Priss, I can almost forgive you for what you did to Linna, but what you did to poor Dr. Raven was inexcusable! You know he won't even be in the same room as you anymore unless I'm present too?" "Sylia..." "He's an old man, Priss! Have you no respect whatsoever for your elders?" "Yeah, well, for an old man he runs pretty fast. Besides, I don't see what the hell his problem is. I held back." "Held back? Held Back? You yanked his lower dentures out and broke them over his head! How the hell does that qualify as holding back?" "I left his uppers alone, didn't I?" Just then, Dr. Raven came in, the top of his head heavily bandaged. He walked past Priss without acknowledging her. "Hey pops, what's up? No hard feelings, right?" "Shylia," he said, his missing lowers causing his speech to slur when he tried to talk, "Will you pleash tell Prissh I'm not talking to her, and to shtop calling me popsh?" ------ Classes having ended a half hour ago, Nene and Maeda were headed for his house. The anime club was still bugging her about participating as an entry in the cosplay event taking place tomorrow, but she didn't want any of it. It was bad enough dealing with the moronic questions the Cromartie High students kept asking her. If she were stuck in a room with an entireauditorium full of idiotic otaku, she'd probably end up shooting herself in the head to put herself out of the pain. Unbeknownst to either her or her traveling companion, a group of thugs from Destrade Technical high school were hiding behind the bushes up ahead of them. "What's the plan?" Nakao's hand puppet Mick asked. "We gonna just beat the hell out of both of them or..." "No, stupid!" Yamaguchi answered, "Tomorrow's the cosplay event. We're gonna kidnap the redhead, and enter her as our entry." "We gonna kidnap Maeda too?" Ishikawa asked. "No, we always kidnap him." "Yeah," Mick put in, "We kidnap him, challenge Cromartie to a fight to get him back, and they never show." "Okay, here they come, get ready." Yamaguchi whispered. They readied themselves to spring out, as they heard part of the conversation taking place. "What? No, I never did it with Chief Toodou's niece Lisa! What the hell's wrong with you, you sick..." Nene was cut off as twelve rough looking gang members suddenly surrounded her. After her initial panic subsided, her Knight Saber training kicked in as she took a fighting stance. These clowns were about to learn just what someone who'd barely managed to clear level four in the combat trainer was capable of! "Okay, Maeda, I'll take out the ones on the left, you go for the... Maeda?" she asked as she turned around and saw him running for his life down the street. "Oh, great." She mumbled. All around her, the gang began to circle. Standing directly in front of her with his arms crossed and a big smile on his face was Yamaguchi. "So, if it ain't Nick," he paused to take a deep breath, "Romanovskiavitchowski Von Burger. We meet again." "What the hell kind of a last name is that?" Mick asked. "It's... Russo-Polish-German." she answered back, guessing this group wasn't much smarter than the Cromartie bunch. "Yeah, haven't you ever heard of the country of Russo-Polish-Germania before?" Ishikawa asked, trying to sound smart. This was the opportunity the mullet-sporting kid had been waiting for. If he could put himself over big, he could displace that little creep Mick and become the number two man again. "You're in trouble now, Romanovskiavitchowski Von Burger (gasp)! Yeah, that's right! We're gonna take you Romanov (pant) skiavitchowski (gasp) Von Burger, and we're gonna make you (cough) (gasp) our entry in the cosplay event, Roman (gasp) ovskia (cough) vitchowski (wheeze) Von Bur... Burger! So... So what (pant) (gasp) do you think of... of that, Romanov (pant) (wheeze) (cough)..." Nene, seeing the young man hyperventilate as he struggled for air, put her hand on his shoulder to see if he was okay. He immediately collapsed under her touch, gasping and wheezing. The other gang members started backing off. "Shit, did you see that?" "That Nick dude took him down with one hand!" "I don't want any part of this, man! That mo-fo knows kung-fu!" Yamaguchi buried his face in his hand and groaned in frustration. Why was he constantly surrounded by idiots? "Morons! Just grab her... er... his arms, and don't say his last name!" ------ "Okay, Prissh, I want you to lishten carefully. Becaush you ushed the handheld to bean Linna in the back ofher head, it'sh no longer as shenshitive to Nene'sh DNA pattern. It'll either lead you shraight to her, or elsh it'sh going to end up shending you to someplash where Nene onsh wash. It'll no longer differenshiate between her and her laundry, or a shandwich she'sh parshially eaten. Undershtand?" "Yeah, I get it, I get it. I just have one question; what about the seven silly sea serpents?" "Sheven shilly shea sherpents? What are you talking about, sheven shilly..." he stopped when Priss began to snicker. He glared at her angrily. "Shut up! Thish ishn't funny, you crashy lunatic! Nene'sh shtill out there shomewhere shtuck in an alternate universh, and all you can do ish shtand here laughing at me! And you're paying for thish, misshy!" he said, pointing at his bandaged head. By now even Sylia was trying not to laugh. Linna came in, and glared at Priss standing in her skinsuit. "Sylia, you're not sending that maniac back out again, are you?" "Damn it, that's it! Look, I'm sorry, okay. I got freaked out by what I saw in the alternate universe you sent me to, and I lost my temper when you didn't pull me back when I asked you to. I'm not a lunatic or a maniac, and I'll never do anything like that again, alright? Now can we all go back to being friends again, and stop ganging up on me?" Linna and Dr. Raven looked at each other, then back at Priss. "Okay, Priss. Friends." Linna said, walking over and cautiously holding out her hand. Priss smiled as she took it. They then both looked over to Dr. Raven. "Humph. We were never friendsh to begin with. But I'm willing to go back to being an aquaintansh." "Good." Sylia said. "Now that that's over with, let's get back to trying to find Nene. Dr. Raven, any leads?" "Unfortunately, like I shaid, there'sh no longer any way to get a preshish lead on her. But there doesh sheem to be a lot of leadsh coming from this one universh." "It's not the same one you sent me before, is it?" "No. Trusht me, I'm not about to shend you back there." Priss took a deep breath. "Okay, get me the hardsuit. I'll go in." ------ "Wait Maeda, calm down." Takashi said. "Now what's wrong?" "They kidnapped Nick Romanuffalumpagus!" he cried. "What?" Shinjiro asked. The others in Maeda's house looked at each other with confused expressions. "You know, Nick Romonumplestilskin!" "Dude," Yutaka asked, "What in the hell are you talking about?" "Nene, damn it! They've got Nene!" "Whoa, hold up; who's got Nene?" Takashi asked. Before Maeda could answer, Takeshi Hokuto and his lackey both burst through the door of Maeda's house. Hokuto arrogantly strode over to the group, and motioned for everyone's attention. "What are you doing here?" Mechazawa asked. "Weren't you supposed to be creating the world's greatest anime club?" "I, um, I was. And... um..." Hokuto's lackey now broke in, "And he already had Leiji Matsumoto signed up to be his first guest speaker and..." "Shut up! Where was I? Oh yeah, I understand that the real-life Nene Romanova is here, stuck in this universe. I'm willing to offer my help and vast financial resources to get her home. Naturally the thought of personal fame, gratitude on the part of said anime character and her friends, to say nothing of the possible financial rewards from any future book and movie rights, has played no part in my decision to help." Everyone in the room silently stared at the long-haired student in the white uniform. Finally, Takashi spoke up. "Thank you, Hokuto, for so generously and unselfishly offering your help. Unfortunately, though, Nene seems to have been kidnapped." "K... Kidnapped? By who?" "We're not sure." Shinjiro answered. "Maeda was just about to tell us when you came in." "Oh, I see. Well who was it?" "Yamaguchi and the others from Destrade." Maeda said. He knew what was now going to happen. He knew it by heart. Every time he was kidnapped, they stood around hour after hour debating over plans and strategies, until he either escaped on his own or the other side got bored and let him go. "Right, let's go!" Takashi said. Freddy and the large gorilla in the room slowly rose to their feet. "I'm right behind ya!" Yutaka said, clenching his beefy fists. "Let's teach those Destrade punks a..." "What? Wait a Second!" Maeda shouted angrily. "We can't wait!" Hokuto said. "Every second counts!" "But... But... Whenever I'm kidnapped, you never spring into action. What the hell?" "Dude, it's Nene." Mechazawa answered. "Yeah. No offense, but you're not as cute as she is." Akira added. Without warning, before the group could leave to save Nene, the entire house started shaking violently. Pictures on the walls came crashing down, along with a potted plant sitting on top of a coffee table. A blinding light shone from Maeda's room where Nene had hid her hardsuit, and then disappeared. The Cromartie gang could now hear footsteps. "Dude, someone's in your room." Yutaka whispered. "Yeah, go check it out." Shinjiro whispered, pushing Maeda in the direction of his bedroom. "Me, why me?" he asked. They could now hear whoever it was in his room ripping open the package Nene's hardsuit was wrapped in. "Because it's your house damn it. Now go." Akira ordered. Maeda slowly crept toward his room, and fearfully opened his door a crack. "Uh, h... hello?" He managed to get out. The door was now pulled open as a metallic blue hand grabbed Maeda by the collar and pulled him roughly into his room." "Where is she?" an angry female voice demanded. "Aaa! I knew it! It's the Dark Lord! It's the Dark Lord!" The others quickly rushed into the room, to see Maeda cowering under a very familiar looking blue hardsuit. "Don't play dumb with me, damn it! That's her hardsuit over there!" "It couldn't be." Hokuto said. "Cool!" Yutaka shouted. "I said where the hell is Nene?" "Stop, will ya?" Mechazawa said. "Sheesh, can't you see he's too scared to answer you." "Who are you," Takashi asked, "And what do you want with our friend Nene?" The woman in the hardsuit straightened up, letting go of Maeda as she did so. "I'm Priss Asagiri, bitch!"
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