Author's note: Rated for language, subject matter later on, and just in case anything else comes up in this series that I have to cover myself for. This is a comedy, so turn your brains off, sit back, and relax. ------ "Will you hurry up already?" "Quiet! I'm trying to concentrate..." "Priss, Nene, what's taking so long?" "Don't ask me, Sylia. Ask little Miss Cyberpunk here." Priss was watching the door warily, guarding Nene's back as the redhead was struggling to get through firewall after firewall to shut down the Genom research facility's security system. Sylia and Linna were both waiting outside in the shadows tensely for the all-clear. "Yay! I've got it! You can come in now." "About time," Linna remarked. Sylia was silent. They'd been offered a great deal of money to break into the third story laboratory to retrieve a stolen hard drive by their client. The client wouldn't reveal his or her name, or what was on the disc. Normally, that wasn't too big of a deal. The Knight Sabers were known for taking dirty jobs, not asking questions, and client confidentiality. Still, something about this job didn't seem right to her. Once Sylia and Linna had joined up with Priss and Nene, the four made their way up to the third floor room they were looking for. Priss found the light switch, and turned it on. The door behind them closed by itself, locking into place. In front of them a middle aged man in a white lab coat stood behind what looked like a ray gun from one of the old 1930's Flash Gordon movie serials set up on a tripod. Flanking both sides of the man were 55D combat boomers. On a large screen behind them the image of Chairman Quincy appeared, an evil smile on his face. "Greetings, Knight Sabers. Welcome to your demise." "Quincy!" Linna exclaimed, as both she and Priss took up defensive positions. "Uh oh." Nene whispered. "Meet Professor Kobayashi, and his latest invention, the Trans-Dimensional Oscillator!" "Trans-Dimensional Oscillator?" Sylia asked. Quincy laughed. "You've been a thorn in my side far too long. Rather than simply destroy you, I've decided to teach you bitches a lesson and send you off to another universe! I don't care where you end up, what time period it is when you get there, or if you live or die! Just so long as I never have to look at you whores again! Professor Kobayashi, will you do the honors?" "With pleasure, sir." He fired the devise at the Sabers. Priss and Linna easily leapt out of the way of the ray, as Sylia went for the combat boomer to Professor Kobayashi's left. That left the combat boomer to his right. As he continued firing at Linna and Priss, the boomer came for Nene, chasing her into the path of fire. "Sylia, Priss! Help m..." She was cut off as the beam struck her in the chest. She became enveloped in a blinding light, and disappeared. "Nene!" Priss screamed. ---Meanwhile, in another universe in the present--- Ten minutes after final classes, the students began to gather inside the classroom the math teacher was allowing them to use for their meeting. "Okay, can I have your attention, please," Takashi Kamiyama said over the voices of his fellow students. "Today, being the first meeting of the Cromartie High Anime Club, I thought we should get down to business by deciding who's going to be our club president, and if we're going to compete in the inter-school cosplay event." "I should be the president!" Yutaka Takenouchi, the huge bald headed year three student said, "'Cause I'm the biggest badass!" "What does being a badass have to do with running an anime club?" Shinjiro Hayashida asked, his purple Mohawk swaying as he talked. "Yeah, besides," Akira Maeda broke in, "Your not the only badass in this school. I'm a badass too!" "What the hell kind of a badass can you be? You don't even have a cool nickname!" someone called out, effectively silencing Akira. "Look, if you guys really wanted a good president," a little pipsqueak of a student chimed in, "You'd pick Takeshi Hokuto!" he said, pointing with his thumb over to the arrogant student with the long hair and the all white student uniform. "And why's that?" Yutaka asked. "Because I've got most of the major series on DVD already, including the entire run of Gatchaman and Captain Harlock." He smugly answered. "Yeah," Hokuto's lackey broke in again. "And... and... and he's also personal friends with several voice actors and actresses, and he hangs out with manga artists. In fact, his mom used to go to school with Rumiko Takahashi!" Hokuto looked over at his lackey with an annoyed look on his face. True, the students at Cromartie were among the worst in Japan academically, but not even these morons were stupid enough to believe a cock-and-bull story like... "Wow, you actually know anime voice actors?" Akira asked. "What's Rumiko Takahashi like in person?" a student from near the back of the room asked. "Uh, er..., yeah. Yeah, that's right! In fact, being club president here probably is beneath me, but I'll..." "You're right!" Takashi broke in. "In fact, with the resources you have, you should go start your own club!" "What?" Hokuto asked, not liking where this was going. "Yeah!" Shinjiro broke in. "We'd only keep you down! You should go out now, and create the greatest anime club in all Japan!" Oh, um, right! Then I'm off! Wish me luck!" And with that he strode out of the room, making a mental note to throttle his lackey for getting him into this mess. As he left the room, three more... students (?) entered. One, looking way too old to be a student, what with his mustache and rippling muscles, took his seat near the rear of the class. Next, what looked like a mechanical garbage can with arms and legs, took a seat. Finally, a four-hundred pound gorilla entered, and likewise sat near the back with the other two late arrivals. "It's too bad," Shinjiro said. "We could've used him as a president." "Yeah, but you wouldn't want to keep him from reaching his full potential, would you?" Takashi asked. "You're right. Hey, why don't you be club president, Takashi? You're the one who thought of starting this club at Cromartie anyways." "Well, okay, as long as there are no objections. None? Very well, I elect myself Cromartie High Anime Club President. Now, onto the next item of business, the inter-school cosplay event. Any ideas on what character we should do?" "How about something from Evangelon or Macross?" Yutaka asked. "Oh no, not those mecha shows!" Mechazawa, the second of the latecomers, broke in. Popping his head open to add a quart of oil, he added, "I hate those stupid things! Let's pick a character from a romantic comedy, like Maison Ikkoku or Ah! My Goddess." "But no one gets blown up in Maison Ikkoku or Ah! My Goddess!" Yutaka shouted. "What about Space Battleship Yamato?" Takashi suggested. With that, everyone in the room stood up, placed their hands over their hearts, and bowed their heads in honor of the classic series. "No, someone dressed like one of the characters from Space Battleship Yamato at last year's contest." Shinjiro said. "Hey Freddy," Yutaka said to the mustachioed student sitting in the back corner, "What do you think?" Freddy looked at Yutaka, then around the room at the other students, then back at Yutaka again without answering. "Okay guys, come on." Takashi said. "We need a character that's fairly well known and loved by most anime fans, and one we can all agree on." All of a sudden the room started shaking. A blinding light lit up the classroom, and Nene Romanova materialized out of nowhere in her pink hardsuit and fell to the floor, crashing through one of the desks in the process. A hush fell upon the room as everyone watched her slowly pick herself up off the ground. Then Shinjiro spoke up. "You mean something like that?" He asked, pointing at the Knight Saber who was nervously looking around the room. "Yeah, but without the cheesy lighting effects." Takashi answered.
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