Basic Impulses
In dedication to David, without you how would I manage to smile
everyday? You gave me strength when I had none, and you never gave up on
me. Thank you so much sweetie, I can't wait for a hug.
Note: Takes place after the series, just so you know. A bit on the dark
side, but seems reasonable in retrospect.
Linna Yamazaki sat with her back to the wall, the smooth yet cold tile
made her body ache just enough to register to her senses, she had been
like this for days and the alcohol in her system wasn't helping her get
over the odd feels in anyway. Reaching out with a trembling hand the
shorthaired brunette drew a half empty bottle of vodka up to her pale
pink lips and took a deep swig from the glass container, somehow the
warmth of the buzz seemed to draw what little heat that was left in her
body out; Linna gave a small shiver and chuckled darkly into the dim
bathroom.
"Now I know what it feels like to be Sylia," she muttered despondently
to no one, the sound of her own voice reverberated in the tiny room
making her words pound into her own ears cruelly. There was no reason to
feel like she did, everything was wonderful, everyone was happy and
safe, everyone had someone to share that well earned joy with; everyone
except her. Her pale face was already sore and raw from the hours of
nonstop crying she had managed to do in the last few days, it happened
at random intervals without reason or any form of a catalyst to get it
started, she just found herself sobbing uncontrollably throughout the
day and at night it only got worst and happened more often. "I hate you,
I hate you," furiously hissed the dark haired woman as she raised her
eye level to meet that of the mirror, her gaze narrowed at the sight of
her body slumped firmly against the wall with a large bottle of booze
gripped tightly in her right hand, Linna gritted her teeth together and
threw the glass container towards the reflective surface; missing her
mark horribly. The shards skidded violently against the floor, embedding
themselves deeply into her bare legs, the glass burned as it dug itself
under her skin; somehow it eased her inner pain for just a few seconds.
The metallic roar of the motorcycle's pipes died as Priss came to a stop
and cut the engine, her face was slick with sweat as she pulled off her
thick padded helmet, her clear brown eyes slowly surveyed the
surrounding area apprehensively. Priss hadn't heard from Linna in almost
two weeks, she knew it was stupid but somehow she couldn't help having a
tight feeling of dread in her chest, everything was safe now there were
no more rogue boomers or fights, there was nothing that could possible
put Linna in any harm but still she had to go and check up on her
friend, just to ease her own mind. Stiffening against the crisp night
air the lithe framed, singer slowly headed towards Linna's apartment,
she hadn't even taken a good step onto the first rung before she felt a
stab at her gut; something was wrong.
Priss slowly climbed the each flight of steps hesitantly, she was trying
to push the though of impending doom out of her head, it was ridiculous
to think something happened to her capable friend, Linna could handle
herself but still there was that looming intuition that told her
something was up. Quickening her pace the tall brunette leaped up steps
two at a time, cutting the time in half as she finally reached the front
door to Linna's apartment.
"Just knock you moron," Priss chided herself in a low voice, shaking her
head the tough looking singer tapped on the door with the back of her
hand, letting her knuckles clack on the wood loudly, there was no answer
just the howl of the wind ripping through the buildings' alleyways;
Priss growled angrily feeling stupid for even being there at such a late
hour, Linna was probably asleep or something.
She hadn't heard the knock at the front door; even if she did she could
have cared less, Linna dragged a long sharp piece of glass across her
legs again and again, her hands quivered weakly as she gripped the
makeshift blade tightly causing blood to drip down hand and lightly
splatter against the once clean floor.
"I fucking hate you! I hate you, I hate you," Linna screamed viciously
as she locked eyes on the mirror again, the sight that greeted her
bloodshot hues was one that made her sneer venomously and scramble to
her feet, her fist slammed against the reflective glass shattering it
devastatingly, splinters of glimmering particles crashing to the floor
loudly. "Don't look at me, don't you fucking look at me," her voice
cracked piercingly into the darkness as she slumped to her knees
cradling her head between her bloodied hands.
Priss' heart sunk into the bottoms of her feet, her fist struck the door
harder in effort to get the woman on the other side to open up, stepping
back the tall brunette kicked forward her boot connecting with the
wooden barrier; the door swung open violently with the kick, knocking
into the wall behind it hard enough to dent and chip paint. Priss rushed
into the apartment blindly, the residence wasn't very large; there were
only four rooms: the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom and the
bathroom. Priss flew to each area, all where clear expect the bathroom,
Linna had to be in there. Snapping her hand out the lithe framed singer
grabbed at the handle, the knob refused to open no matter how hard she
jangled it.
"Linna, open up! It's me Priss, open the damn door," Priss yelled with
panic clutching onto every word she spoke, she couldn't hear any sign of
movement behind the door, bracing herself for the blow the leather clad
brunette rammed her shoulder against the entrance, no go, Priss smashed
into it again, she could hear the wood splintering around the joints.
Holding her breath she jammed against it once more splitting the wood at
the edge, pulling the broken door away Priss stepped into the bathroom
her face contorting in disbelief and horror.
Blood and glass littered the floor and the pungent smell of alcohol
filled the air, against the far wall Linna Yamazaki shivered violently
and held her knees firmly against her chest crying uncontrollably. Priss
didn't want to believe what she was seeing, her best friend covered in
crimson liquid looking like a ghost of her former self, pulling herself
together the dark haired brunette rushed over to the wounded woman.
Wrapping her arms around Linna tightly Priss pulled the girl into a firm
embrace, she didn't know what to do, she was too confused to think
straight.
"Go away, I don't need you," Linna's voice was a broken whisper as she
weakly muttered; her tone was flat and void of all emotions, Priss
pulled back from the shorthaired woman not fully grasping what she had
just said.
"What? Linna you don't know what you are saying, we have to get you some
help," her voice wavered with tension, normally Priss could handle
anything but this wasn't right, it wasn't right at all.
"Don't fucking touch me, you aren't supposed to be here, get out of my
house! Get the hell out of my house, I don't need you," Linna was in
hysterics, her words jutted incoherently as she screamed even though she
couldn't even lift her head from Priss' chest.
Priss stiffened as she lifted Linna from the floor, she didn't feel
nearly as heavy as she normally did, tears were starting to sting the
corners of her eyes as she carried her friend out of the small bathroom
and towards her bed, she needed to call for an ambulance but first she
needed to lay Linna down somewhere safe. Her fingers fumbled for the
right buttons as she mashed at the phone, everything was blurring
together as a plethora of emotions claimed hold of her body, she was
mostly confused but she also was angry, angry that Linna would do
something like this to herself.
The people on the phone said the ambulance would be there in a few
minutes but Priss hadn't heard anything they said she was too busy
watching Linna sob on the bed, she knew they would come and that was
good enough she just wanted to get back to Linna and make sure she
didn't hurt herself anymore.
"Why the —Linna why, tell me why the hell you did this," snapped the
tall brunette, her voice sounded too harsh and she winced as soon as it
left her mouth, Linna just rolled over and garbled something
unintelligibly as she looked at Priss with pained eyes. "Why did you do
it?"
"Happiness made me do it," hissed Linna furiously her tone dark and low
as she managed to make her self understandable, Priss just looked at the
shorthaired brunette with confusion making her brow furrow. "Everyone is
happy, everyone is happy, they don't need me, alone, I'm alone, unhappy.
Only one that isn't happy, no longer needed, useless," she rambled as
her eyes fluttered closed, Priss' heart sank and a knot formed at the
pit of her stomach.
"Don't you fucking die on me, we have fought boomers and avoided an
apocalypse. You are not gonna die on me now, not over this stupid shit,
not over something that isn't true!"
"Not true!? You're a liar, a fucking liar! You don't care about me, you
don't have to care about me you have him," Linna spat the word 'him' out
like it was poison, Priss felt a stab at her heart, she had been
ignoring Linna ever since they all made it back to Tokyo safely,
ignoring her to spend time with Leon, a guy she didn't even like all
that much. It was her fault that the shorter woman had done this to
herself.
"I'm sorry, Linna. God, just don't die, I promise to make it up to you.
I didn't mean to make you feel like this, you should have told me, I'm
sorry," Priss' words made Linna flinch visibly and cower away from the
woman as she crawled onto the bed moving towards the smaller female.
"Don't touch me, please don't touch me."
"Why not," anger was rising in Priss' tone, as she demanded to know why
she couldn't hold her friend, Linna jerked her hand away as the
lithe-framed singer reached for it in effort to pull her close.
"Because you make me hurt all over, you make me want to cut the pain
out, goddamn you," Linna curled into a tight ball on her side and
whimpered pitifully, Priss felt cold all over, the words had chilled her
to the very marrow of her bones. Reaching out Priss grabbed Linna's arms
and pulled her close, she wasn't crying but the urge to wasn't leaving
either.
"Linna—" the leather clad brunette spoke in a low tone but was
interrupted as the pale woman in her arms silenced her by whispering out
inaudibly with pain in her shallow voice.
"I love you, Priss."
Those were the last words the tough looking singer had expected to hear,
Priss just blinked trying to ease the shock, but found herself getting
more and more confused. Priss didn't remember exactly when the
paramedics arrived but she knew that they had taken Linna with them, all
she could do was close her eyes and cry.
The End
Author's Note: Well, this really wasn't the end but I just haven't had
the go to power to do anything. If I get good reviews then maybe I will
keep going, I hope you all liked the story it was really a chapter from
my life, more or less. Bubblegum Crisis has always been one of my
favourite animes, and it is the first anime in which I have bought the
entire series, so for some reason I will always have a certain
affixation towards it. In any case I hope you all enjoyed the story.
Thank you all.
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