"Don't turn away from me!", Kurai cried out, as the untouchable
figure she had so longed for slowly vanished in the mist of a heavenly
rose dawn.
There she was, alone in Anagura, the only place she could remember
as her home. She had been sleeping for a while, she noticed, as she sat
up on the red velvet armchair. Something had awakened her. Maybe a
sound. A gentle breeze swiftly caressing her tan cheek...maybe.
Suddenly her eyes widened with surprise as a gentle sprinkle of pale
blue rose petals fell onto her lap...Of course, she never would have
thought of it, nor could she say she had not been expecting such an
unpredictable guest.
"Belial!" said the young princess, turning her gaze to the red-haired
jester quietly leaning over her seat.
"You've been asleep for so long...and seemed to be having a very
unpleasant dream, my princess..." ,the demon answered with a tender
grin.
"R-really?" Kurai said, pretending not to know what the jester meant,
"How long have you been watching me anyway? Do you really need to always
appear without warning?"
"You were dreaming about Her..."
The androgynous creature certainly seemed to know everything,
especially when it came to the feelings of her precious princess for the
long-lost love of her life, the grand angel warrior that had impressed
her in ancient times, known as the rebellious Alexiel. The one that
could never love her in return...
The princess had tried to let go of these one-sided feelings. She was
wise enough to know that her longing was meaningless,
but no matter how hard she tried, she kept encountering her loved one in
her dreams, a distant bride that repeatedly turned away and vanished.
"And I am always left alone...", Kurai thought to herself, her
cristalline eyes slowly filling with tears.
"So she still haunts your thoughts...shall I help you forget her?"
Belial spoke softly, her smile had turned to a vague expression of
melancholy, and her voice seemed to carry ripples of her own sorrow.
Once again, she knew she would not be of use to the young princess. The
maiden was right, in a sense, to be cautious about the Mad Hatter's
artefatcts, as she had already been tricked by her many times. In such a
circumstance, Belial thought, she would be suspicious of herself too.
"No. I wasn't thinking of her." Kurai said, resignation now overwhelming
her sadness. She knew it wasn't the thought of not being loved in return
that brought tears to her eyes. So what was it?
Those dreams had almost become a habit. As if nothing had changed...from
the beginning of time, from the very day she had vowed to always follow
the rebellious angel, nothing had changed. And yet everything was
different. Kurai felt extremely confused.
"Too bad I cannot be of use to you," the jester said coyly,
kneeling in front of the one she had wanted to make a queen. In a slow
and delicate gesture, Belial took the young maiden's hand, as if it were
an object of priceless value, so fragile and impermanent one could not
bear the thought of disturbing it's beauty.
"Unless, if you wish, my princess...I could find another way to comfort
you..." she said, her glance evaluating and calling for an answer that
would never come, she started caressing the princess' hand in a manner
that seemed very unrequitted to her.
Kurai pulled away at once.
"S-Stop this! I told you I'm fine already! Why don't you just tell me
what you want from me? I know you, you're always up to something!"
She was not 'fine'. She knew it. Belial knew it too, and the very
thought of it made her shiver softly as she tried to imagine in what way
the demon might use this weakness against her. Or would she? Kurai
didn't know for sure. No one could tell what was on that creature's
mind. A very twisted mind, obviously...Did such things as kindness or
affection even exist in such a perverted spirit?
For once, just as she was going to tell her to leave, the jester came up
with an unusual answer:
"You do not trust me, is that it? ...You're right. I should not be
trusted. I will leave now, if I cannot be of use to my princess...
however, I must say, I do not trust you either when you say you are
fine...I wonder, which one of us is more of a master in the art of
dissimulation?"
Kurai was astounded. She had never heard the Mad Hatter speak like
this, and for the first time, she felt she might have actually offended
what might have been the only part of humanity in the demon's heart.
Heart? Did she not have a heart as well? The princess had often wondered
but never really come to a decent conclusion on the subject.
"Wait..." she let out in a soft whisper, as Belial walked away. The
demon stopped at once and stood still, her back turned to the velvet
chair which carried the beautiful princess. She did not turn around.
"I mean, wait!" Kurai shouted, as she tried to arrange her voice in a
way that seemed more proper for a princess.
She had suddenly felt very worried and insecure after hearing the
red haired one's words. What would happen to her if that strange
creature disappeared from her life? What if she had really offended her
this one time? Even though she belonged to the Satans, was there a
significant difference between her and an Anagura demon such as the
little princess? Kurai lied, and kept secrets from others. She had
hateful thoughts at times, and made of plans for vengeance- which she
never carried out, however- against demons, angels, humans...If she had
feelings that could easily be injured, what about Belial's feelings?
There was really no difference between them, yet Kurai had considered
her a heartless and emotionless being all this time.
"Turn around." Kurai said neutrally, as -she had been taught-
should always speak a dragonmaster princess.
There was no answer.
"Turn around and show me your face."
"No."
The one who always hid behind a clown's mask answered quietly.
Under the heavy makeup she wore, no one had ever seen her blushing, or
crying. Under the mask, no one could know her. In the shadows, no one
could guess who she was, and she liked it that way. This time again, she
would not let the young princess know what was on her mind.
Belial walked away and vanished in the shadows.
Something was not right. Kurai knew this, yet she couldn't tell
what had changed.
"She often watches me when I'm asleep...but what about her? What would I
see if I watched her sleeping? What does she look like without her
mask?"
The princess suddenly felt warm-hearted at the idea...
"Belial... what a peculiar character", Kurai wondered, "but I think I
have been misjudging her all the way."
Come to think of it, the Mad Hatter had tricked her several times, but
had never actually 'lied' to her...
The silver-haired princess decided to go find her and apologize for
shoving her away.
But where could she find her?
*
A wide room closed-up in highly ornamented crimson walls, with
thick wine-colored curtains that opened on a balcony, a luxurious bed
covered in scarlet satin sheets and a variety of embroidered cushions, a
crimson sofa on which lay mirrors and hats, and old-looking black and
white floor tiles...this was the place an excentric but shy creature
liked to call her home. She had her own palace, of course, with
everything a high-rank Satan such as herself could wish for. But in
reality, she lived in this forgotten room, somewhere in an abandonned
castle, somewhere no one could find her. She often felt very lonely and
isolated. She had no friends, since no one could trust a demon like her,
and she didn't trust anyone. She did not even like to be with herself,
as even though she claimed to have reached perfection with her
androgynous shape, she did not like to see herself. This is why she
always wore extravagant costumes and hid her face under heavy makeup.
She liked it that way. She enjoyed the feeling of never recognizing
herself when she looked into a mirror, and she enjoyed being a mystery
to everyone.
Only two people had discovered her: one was the prince of
darkness, Lucifer, to which she had dedicated herself in a
self-sacrificing role of seeking the fallen angel's brides. But she
liked it to some extent. Knowing she wasn't loved in return made her
feel free, as no one would ever come to claim her. She looked down upon
people who fell in love with her: they were either liars or idiots who
mistook her for someone she was not.
In the end -her life always seemed to start when it ended, and it
seemed to end all the time- she always felt sick with loneliness and
boredom. At such times, she would turn to the one and only person which
had somehow managed not only to see a part of her true self, but also to
make her into a prisonner. Silently, as if to erase herself from the
world, she would appear during the princess' sleep, and watch her
quietly. In such circumstances, her thoughts would wander into such
perveted fantasies she had to wake up the sleeping beauty to get her
mind off her and think of other things.
She had liked the silver-haired demon since the beginning, and had
made plans to seduce her, of course. But her feelings changed at one
point, leaving her vulnerable like a child to the will of the beautiful
young girl. Somehow she knew -but would rather die than ever admit it-
that if this one person rejected her feelings, she would be destroyed
forever. So she made it a point to never show what her heart wanted to
cry out. She would bury herself in silence and loneliness so she would
never be in emotional danger.
She was very good indeed at pretending, and could probably
make-believe anything she wanted. This time, however, she did not want
to play around. She felt sadness...sometimes. All the time. Everytime
she saw her princess thinking of another. Everytime she was with her...
But she had to keep on being the jester, as she had always been.
She couldn't do anything else. She could not show her feelings in any
way. She was affraid to do so. She was shy, very shy about saying the
exact truth...especially when it came to feelings. So she lied to
everyone, hoping the pain would go away on itself.
"What are you doing?" she said to herself in a defiant tone, as
she leaned, a glass of wine in her hand, against a corner of the richly
furnished bedroom and observed her reflection in a tall golden-framed
mirror.
"You idiot! Do you plan to become weak and let yourself be manipulated
by others? By this little girl? What a pity..."
A manipulator being manipulated. She never would have thought this could
happen to her. Yet she was powerless when she saw that enchanting smile,
and the pale blue eyes that always seemed to shelter a tear.
In a way, all she wanted was that smile to be real, and to be addressed
to her. The real her, not the jester she liked to play.
"You pitiful creature!" she thought to herself, as she sit in the
corner, her knees brought under her chin, and tightly grasped a blue
rose petal.
She tilted her glass and let her drink pour out onto the floor tile. It
was dirty. She was not going to clean it.
*
"Help!"
Kurai had cried out in the empty storming sky, though she knew no one
would answer. She had set off on the back of her best dragon into skies
shaken by some demon's wrath, hoping to find a certain place. Soon
enough, she found herself lost and her opal-scaled dragon -as fearless
as such a creature may be- was beginning to infuriate as silence
suddenly filled the vicious heavens. The princess knew what this meant:
Reapers. Whatever demon had darkened the Underworld, it now knew of her
presence and had sent out it's Reapers to bring back her soul to it's
lair.
Such things happened occasionally in Anagura, and all demons would
hide behind whichever magic barrier they could summon. Kurai was too far
from her own palace, though, to seek a hiding place.
"H-.." she started crying out, before she saw the ugly red cloud flowing
towards her. Hundreds, thousands of armless, skinless floating 'things',
all eager to get a piece of her were now approaching at high speed. The
dragon let out a terrifying shriek, and the young princess found herself
falling into the emptiness, dozens of Reapers coming at her from every
direction.
"No!" she cried, her eyes closed, as she suddenly felt something
grabbing her and pulling her into another dimension.
*
"You can open your eyes now. They haven't followed us."
Kurai opened her eyes as she heard the familiar voice. "Mad Hatter!"
She found herself smiling in relief as the jester slowly let her
down onto the ground. The princess had never seen the rooms surrounding
her. From the decoration, she could tell she was in a very old palace,
probably at least a thousand years old. The furniture was dusty, but the
room seemed inhabited, she could tell from the many small items
scattered here and there.
"What is this place?" she asked the mysterious demon.
"Do you not have better things to do, my princess, than to fly out into
a group of Reapers with your dragons?"
"My dragon! Oh, Mad Hatter, we must go back and save my dragon!"
Kurai had forgotten an instant about her favorite beast.
"You need not worry. Reapers are created by Aether creatures such as us
to avenge their master. They only hunt down Angels and Demons. Dragons
are of no use to them. They cannot see or sense them."
Kurai took a deep breath in relief, then noticed the jester's eyes
staring at her, waiting for an answer. The Hatter didn't look quite her
usual self, dressed, this time as an elegant gentleman, except for her
hat, who was definitely extravagant.
"I..." she didn't know what to say. It was the Mad Hatter she had been
looking for, but she couldn't tell her so bluntly, being the high-rank
princess she was.
"You called out to me."
"No I didn't!" the princess snapped out at the jester, realizing in fact
it was exactly what she had done.
"You knew no one else would come for you but your favorite jester,
princess. I assume you have an important favor to ask for, or you
wouldn't have taken such risks to get to me..."
Belial was definitely a bright creature. Kurai wished she had at least
made up a decent excuse for her visit.
"Well..." she started, wondering what to say next.
"Love filter? Poison? Charm? What is it you need?"
"Actually...I'd like you to... change me into a beautiful woman, as you
did once before..." Kurai thought this would make a good explanation,
good enough for the trickster.
"I need not enhance your beauty or shape once more, as you have
grown into quite a gorgeous woman already..."
Kurai felt her cheeks redden as she guessed the demon's lustful eyes
upon her. It was true she was now very much more womanly than she
used to be. No male demon in the kingdom could ignore her charms...nor
could she pay any attention to them. She didn't really think about such
things, as Alexiel remained eternally on her mind...along with someone
else...
Now she felt a little embarrassed, dressed only in a short black leather
dress and high boots, her thick flight cloak having been blown away in
her fall. Her now long hair, silver-colored and a little messy, was held
back in a ponytail as usual, revealing the bare tan skin of her neck to
the jester's gaze.
"Oh... I see." the princess said, turning her eyes away. "Then...
I should be leaving. Sorry I disturbed you."
"Leaving now would be a mistake. The Reapers are still roaming out
there. This old castle is well hidden and protected by a powerful
barrier. I suggest you wait here until the skies clear up a little."
Belial said coyly. "Shall we have some tea, my princess, while we are
waiting?"
The silver-haired princess started to wonder if the jester was getting
up to some mischief again.
"Let's have wine instead", she said, catching a surprised look on the
Mad Hatter's face, "I see you have a bottle here."
A half-empty bottle of wine was set on a small ornate table in one
corner of the room.
Kurai took time to gaze around the crimson room. It was not very
tidy, but it felt rather comfortable. There was a bed in a corner,
suggesting this had been used as a bedroom in the past.
"Is this where you sleep at night?" she asked, pointing to the bed.
"I never sleep at night, princess...not in *my* bed, that is."
Kurai blushed again in embarrassment, as Belial, in a gentleman-like
gesture, handed her a wine-filled golden cup. She turned around to fill
herself a silver cup of wine.
"Wait a minute!" the demon princess interrupted the jester. "How
about we exchange cups before we drink?"
"Do you have so little trust in me you think I could have added
something to your drink?" Belial asked, seemingly amused. But Kurai
caught a glimpse of anger in the jester's eyes. She decided not to
inquire any further.
"I just want to drink in a silver cup, that's all. Do you have a problem
with that?" she muttered, prideful as a true princess should be.
"Not at all. Here you go." As the Mad Hatter took the golden cup from
her hands, Kurai felt the mysterious hand brushing upon her own an
instant and shivered strangely.
The jester smiled viciously as she swallowed her wine.
Kurai took a sip of her own. Nothing happened. She then saw the demon
facing her drop her glass and fall onto the sofa behind her, asleep.
"You're not the only one to cheat, Belial", Kurai said, watching
the trickster laying there unconscious. "I was the one who put something
into your cup. Don't worry, I just want to watch you sleep a little."
*
Kurai kneeled close to the sofa, close to Belial's head. She truly
was a beautiful Angel once, the princess thought, before she came down
from Heaven. "I wonder, Mad Hatter", she whispered, "why do you hide
your face? Why do you hide from me? Why do you always watch over me?"
She slightly lay her hand onto the jester's, trembling as a child
misbehaving for the first time.
"Why do you follow a shadow such as Lucifer, and dirty such beautiful
hands for him, when you could have..." Kurai stopped. What could the Mad
Hatter get from her? She didn't know.
"It seems like you have never let me get close to you, yet you
always remain close to me. But then again, it may be that you are
plotting to use me in some way...and here I am doing the same to
you...because this is the only way I can have you..."
Kurai brought her face close to the Mad Hatter's and pushed her hat
aside, revealing the delicate orange waves that curled around her pale
skin.
"Just this once, I think..."
She leaned forward and let her lips brush soflty unto the demon's, then
let her head lay onto the peaceful chest. Her heartbeat was regular and
soft, and Kurai felt herself surrounded by the gentle scent of lavender.
Kurai felt assured by the fact the Mad Hatter was asleep. It was
like a game, she thought, and she understood the feeling of power this
could bring upon a person. Though she had never dreamt of doing such a
thing before, she slowly climbed onto the velvet sofa and crawled her
way onto the sleeping one, just barely letting her clothed body brush
onto the demon's garments.
"Do you even know what you are missing?" she whispered, now feeling
fully in control and ready to dare a little mischief.
She let her long silver hair down and carefully unbuttoned the front of
her dress, just enough to reveal her blooming young chest, and let the
leather slide down her shoulders as though it were to melt off her
youthful and unexperienced body.
As she leaned forward once again to steal another kiss from the
sleeping creature, suddenly she felt two hands grasp her waist and pull
her down.
"What shall we do?" Belial said at once, her eyes open as though she had
never been asleep.
"Belial! You weren't asleep?!" Kurai said, breathless, as the strong
arms held her tightly against the demon's lustful body.
"What were you thinking, my princess? I have used better tricks before
to get what I want. If you have come here to abuse me, there is no need
for such methods, as you know my body cannot say no to such a gorgeous
woman. Or would you rather have me pretend I'm asleep?"
"S-Stop it! Let me go!" Kurai shouted as she freed herself from the Mad
Hatter's embrace and ran out of the room, crying.
*
Kurai found herself in a dark cold room, somewhere in the empty
palace, crying like a little child, not so much from embarrassment,
though...
Why could she just never win over that vicious creature? Was there no
way she could ever get close to her? Why did the jester always mock her
like this? The young princess felt her heart skip a beat as she recalled
the sleeping face of the red-haired demon...She had spoken to the
sleeper with her heart, but she had been tricked again, just when she
thought for once she could have her way.
"Belial! I hate you!" she cried out loud, shivering from the cold.
She sat down and brought her knees against her chest, when she heard
footsteps behind the door she had left locked.
"Go away!" she screamed, knowing the jester was probably going to tease
her now, or worse.
Silence fell unto the room. Kurai could hear a small scratching
sound, as if someone was pressing their hand against the wooden door.
"Princess..."
The voice was soft, definitely not mocking her. Still, the demon
princess did not want to answer.
"..."
Kurai kept silent for a few minutes until she had made it clear
she would not talk with the Mad Hatter.
"...Kurai..." the jester whispered in such a soft voice the princess
almost couldn't hear it.
"what you said... I wish I could've heard more..."
It was the first time Belial had called her by her name.
The sound of footsteps walking away startled Kurai, who wiped away her
tears and stood up at once.
She took a peek in the dimly lit hallway but saw nobody. She
decided to check out the room where she had been with the Mad Hatter,
when she heard the sound of breaking glass coming from yet another room.
*
The door had been left open a crack. Though the room was dark,
Kurai could almost see the shape of Belial leaning against the wall,
surrounded by what seemed like pieces of broken mirrors, she thought,
blood slowly dripping from her wounded hands. Her eyes caught the shine
of a lonely tear running down the pale cheeks of the creature.
The jester turned her head and saw the young princess staring from
behind the door.
"Don't..!" she shrieked as she moved swiftly back into the shadows.
"Don't worry, I won't look at you." Kurai replied softly, as she
entered the room and shut the door behind her.
"Let me help you with those wounds." she whispered, holding out her arms
as she stepped blindly into the darkness, trying to find the jester.
"Never mind that, I have magic." said the trickster, her voice
half-choking on silent tears.
"It's better when someone else tends to your wounds, Hatter." the demon
princess caught a trembling arm and brought herself closer to the demon.
She tore a small piece of her dress, felt her way to the bleeding palms
and tenderly wrapped them with the fabric. She could sense the Mad
Hatter shaking as she then worked her hands up to the demon's face and
wiped the warm tears running down her cheeks.
"Stop it...!" the Mad Hatter whispered.
"I wish..." Kurai stopped and took her hands away. What had she been
hoping for anyway? She could not bring herself to answer this question
as the images of the mocking one kept overlapping those of the wounded
creature shedding her silent tears. What was she supposed to think?
"I'm sorry." Kurai said, taking a few steps backwards. "I came
here because I was curious about you. But in the end, you were the one
that tricked me and I still don't have an answer."
As she turned back and tried to get to the door, the silver-haired felt
the trembling wounded hands land onto her shoulders and hold her back.
"Don't..." the deep androgynous voice whispered, as she felt herself
being drawn into a warm embrace.
There she was, surrounded by the familiar scent of lavender again. Kurai
didn't move, confused as she was. She couldn't see the Hatter's face,
yet she could guess it wore a different expression than those she had
seen before. The princess closed her eyes and let her head rest an
instant against the demon's chest.
"What a gentle creature you can be, holding me in the dark..." Kurai let
out, forgetting herself for a while, surrounded with such warmth and the
pleasant scent it carried, "It feels good like this. No one can see
us... I the dragon princess, and you the Mad Hatter... But your true
name is Belial, and that is a creature I will probably never know, no
matter how hard I try..." her last words ended in a quiet sob, as she
tried to pull herself together.
"...Princess..."
The jester loosened her embrace.
Silence fell down upon the room once again. Kurai knew the Hatter
wouldn't say more. She freed herself from the now weakening arms that
still held her and made her way to the door.
"Belial.." she said abruptly, "next time... no, never mind. There won't
be a next time."
She walked out of the room, leaving the jester there alone. It was
better this way, she thought.
The Demon's Heart -chapter 1 complete-
continued in chapter 2
Back to The Demon's Heart Index - Back to Angel Sanctuary Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction