Story: Blue-Haired Gray Eyes, Blue-Haired Brown Ones (chapter 11)

Authors: bleeding.blade

Back to chapter list

Chapter 11

Miyuki unties the envelope with nervous anticipation. The first thing she retrieves is a card with an unsigned poem. The dedication reads, To my beloved Miyuki-sama. Miyuki guesses, quite accurately and with growing emotion, that the poem in her hand is the first that Tamao has written since she had claimed to have stopped writing poetry altogether.

Rainbow's End

I waited in the rain

For a rainbow that never came

Never came for me

Though I waited

Though I knew its colors

Though I searched its end

(Do rainbows end?)

But then I found you

While waiting in the rain

And if that rainbow ever came

I may know its colors

I may have searched its end

But I already have you

My love, my rainbow's end

Behind the card, Miyuki finds three sheets, a brochure and a pamphlet. Each sheet contains an invitation for a job interview from three of the most prestigious publishing companies in Japan. The brochure belongs to a nearby private university. The pamphlet contains details on scholarship applications. At the very bottom of the pile, Miyuki finds a small note in Tamao's hand that reads: Be free, Miyuki-sama. Be free and live. It is only when the teardrops mar the note's ink that Miyuki realizes that she is crying. But for the first time in her life, they are not tears of pain.


Tamao sits quietly outside the greenhouse, waiting for Miyuki's response. She honestly does not know how the older woman will react. She knows that neither she nor Shizuma have given Miyuki a real solution - only a possible way out. It will still be up to Miyuki to apply for the jobs, to apply for the university, to apply for the scholarship, and most importantly, to refuse her arranged marriage and to risk being disowned by her family. Tamao knows how difficult the choice will be for the older woman. And that is why she waits, hardly hoping, hardly daring to hope. It is Miyuki's only chance. It is their only chance.



Tamao hears Miyuki's soft voice behind her. She turns around, almost frightened by what she will find. But what she finds, on Miyuki's face, is an expression of indescribable love and tenderness. Tamao sobs, a small strangled cry of relief, and throws herself into the older woman's arms. Miyuki buries her face in the younger girl's hair. She asks quietly:

"You did all of that...for me?"

Tamao sighs her response into Miyuki's neck.

"I had some help. But I would do it all over again if I had to."

Then Tamao draws back and looks Miyuki searchingly, and somewhat nervously, in the eye.

"Are you...absolutely sure, Miyuki-sama? You'll probably be disowned...You'll only have yourself to depend on."

Miyuki smiles gently.

"It will be the hardest thing I'll have ever done in my life. But you're wrong, Tamao-chan. I don't just have me. I have you."

This time, when the dawn finds them in each other's arms, there are no tears.

[End notes:

The poem Rainbow's End here is a reference to the Rainbow poem written and recited by Tamao in Episode 2 of the series. When I reviewed Rainbow for the purpose of having a literary reference for a new poem, it seemed to me that Tamao was using the idea of a "rainbow" to refer to Nagisa. Rainbow also seemed to contain hints of Tamao's foreknowledge that her crush on Nagisa would not necessarily end happily, though the poem also contains hints of her willingness to take that risk. ("Rainbow, you are an illusion...Is the ocean of tears just several paths ahead? Or is it at the edge of the ravaged earth? Despite that I do not lament. And within that cold winter light, I try to die in that freezing place...). I wrote Rainbow's End with the intention of sustaining Tamao's literary voice and symbolism. Hopefully, that attempt succeeded.

Regarding the job interview offers that Miyuki finds in the envelope, it was in order to obtain these that Tamao approached Shizuma for help in Chapter 8 of the story. Tamao needed Shizuma's family connections to wrangle job interview offers from three prestigious firms in a highly expedited fashion.  The choice of finding a career for Miyuki in the publishing world has been foreshadowed in the story through previous episodes that highlight Miyuki's editorial skills. As for the university and scholarship applications, Miyuki can choose to apply for either the September or April terms, depending on how well her preparations for the university exams go.

As a final note, I took liberties on the concept of "disownment" in this chapter, given my absolute lack of knowledge on how it actually happens in Japan. In the context of this story, I use the idea of disownment to refer to a child being no longer recognized as a member of his or her family, with the withdrawal of complete familial and financial support. Poor Miyuki does face tough times, but lest the reader forget, she likely possesses an extremely impressive academic record that should help open educational or professional doors (Episode 9 implies that she is a diligent student, and there is the rather obvious fact that she was the Student Council President).


Back to chapter list