Story: Utena Muyo, or No Need For Utena (all chapters)

Utena Muyo! or No need for Utena!

"Anthy," Utena asked her eagerly, "have you heard about this?"

Anthy looked inquisitive, as Utena pushed the printed notice over the table to her. On the top, in bold letters it read, "The Ohtori Girl's Drama Society presents: Tenchi Muyo! Auditions will be held in the main auditorium, tomorrow. Every girl is welcome!"

"Here's a chance for you to make lots of new friends!" Utena smiled.

"But I already have a friend, Utena-sama." a visibly confused Anthy answered, gesturing to Chu-chu. Utena blinked and sweatdropped.

"But you need more friends," Utena finally said, "and this could be fun. I'll try out too, to keep you company, OK?"

"Whatever you say, Utena-sama." Anthy answered her cheerfully.

Utena sighed softly.

The next day, the two woke up very early, and headed for the auditorium. There was a good turnout, and Utena recognized several of the students, including Wakaba. She was really surprised to see Juri standing there, looking about her curiously. A nervous Shiori stood nearby her, staying as close as she could to the fencing captain.

For two of the plays parts, there was a sword fighting element, so Utena, Juri and, strangely, Wakaba all asked to try out. Wakaba hurt herself with the practice sword a few seconds after picking it up, so Juri and Utena were paired up for the next big test. Juri was asked to jump around while engaging in a mock fight against Utena.

Juri frowned at the young ladies, "Must I?"

Two of the girl's stepped back, clearly fearful of the fencer. "Please?" Keiko managed to ask, her twin ponytails bouncing as she plead, "We just need to see how we can best carry off this fight scene on stage."

"Well, I asked you to do this," Utena sighed to Anthy, "so I may as well play along." She picked up the practice sword, meeting Juri's eyes across the stage.

It wasn't like the last time they had fought a duel, more like a dance as they moved together across the small stage. In a few moments, they were done, Juri pretending to be defeated, to the applause of the would-be actresses.

The leaders of the Drama society gathered to confer for a moment, then they walked towards to where Juri and Utena were standing.

"Congratulations," Nanami said with a sinister smile, "you've won the leads!" Utena looked very surprised, while Juri gave a quirky smile. "Utena, you'll be playing Tenchi, and Juri, you'll be playing Ryoko." Nanami, turned back to the group of actresses, "Anthy," she called, "you'll be trying out for Ayeka!"

Half an hour later, and most of the roles had been set: Utena as Tenchi, Juri as Ryoko, Anthy as Ayeka, Keiko as Sasami, Wakaba as Mihoshi, Nanami as Washu, and Shiori as Kiyone. The play was loosely based on the first few episodes, including a very big fight between Tenchi and Ryoko. Many other girls would be playing background roles, as well as the few male cameos.

"We'll start up practices in the next few days," Nanami announced, "and you'll be given scripts to begin memorizing your lines. See you then!"

The players soon picked up the scripts and began to practice at various levels of volume. Juri picked up her script then headed over to where Utena and Anthy were talking.

"It seems we three are going to be the stars of this little show," Juri said with a cool smile. "And If I get my hands on Nanami I'll..." she made a fierce face, Utena chuckled and Anthy smiled.

"I suppose we'll need to practice together," Utena frowned, holding her script as if it had been dipped in something disgusting.

"I'm sorry to inconvenience you, Utena-sama," Anthy smiled at Utena.

Juri smirked, while Utena sweatdropped. "I wish you wouldn't call me that," Utena sighed.

"But Utena-sama, we are engaged," Anthy smiled sweetly.

"That again," Utena muttered.

Juri's lips quirked slightly, fighting back a smile. "Why don't we meet in the rose garden tomorrow after classes," she suggested, "to practice our lines."

"Sounds like a plan," Utena agreed.

Juri watched the two talking as they left, again wondering how Utena could know so little about the Rose Bride and what was actually going on. Shiori walked over, and she smiled down at the frowning young woman.

Shiori scowled, looking at Anthy, "I was hoping to get Ayeka."

"She wasn't," Juri remarked dryly. A slight smile, "besides, there are worse things than playing opposite Wakaba. She is kind of cute, in a genki sort of way."

Shiori just looked at her oddly.

Anthy and Utena were at the garden's first, and they each began to read. Utena's lips would quirk every now and then when she reached a funny bit, while Anthy remained entirely deadpan. Finally, Juri arrived, a towel wrapped around her neck.

"Fencing ran a bit long," was all Juri said in apology. She slapped her script down on the bench, then strode over to where Utena sat.

Utena looked up at her in surprise, noticing a twinkle of amusement in those normally cool eyes. But she was completely unprepared for what happened next.

"Give me your balls!" Juri declared, extending her hand to Utena.

Utena gaped at her in shock as she recoiled, "I don't have any balls."

An odd look passed on Juri's face, "Well, the reaction was good." She paused, more gently saying, "That's a line Ryoko says to Tenchi."

"Oh," Utena managed. She noticed that Anthy was clearly fighting back a smile. "Do you really want to start there?" Utena asked.

Juri looked thoughtful, "There's always the bit where Tenchi finds Ryouko in his bed."

"This is one interesting play," Utena muttered softly.

Chapter 2

Utena Muyo! or No need for Utena! Part Two

Miki looked down at the script wide eyed. "Look, I know I volunteered to help build the sets," he whimpered softly, "but building a set for Tsunami?" He slapped the script on to the table, "And Ryo-Ohki? What's a Ryo-Ohki?"

"But Miki-kun," Nanami batted her eyes at him as she looked up at him and said sweetly, "Anthy will be there."

A pause, and Miki gulped before saying, "Anthy?"

Keiko nodded cheerfully, "Yes, she's be playing Ayeka." She smiled, "And I'm sure she'd be very impressed with you if you do this."

Miki looked down at the script with a sigh, picked it up, and wandered off muttering softly, "I'll get to it then."

Once he was gone Nanami said under her breath, "He is so whipped." Her three cronies solemnly nodded their agreement.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Shiori came in, pulling a sniffling Wakaba behind her. "I can't work with her," she ranted, "she's such a klutz!"

"That's why she's perfect for Mihoshi," Keiko beamed.

"See? I'm perfect," Wakaba boasted, making poor Shiori sweatdrop.

Juri lay back on the stone bench, pretending that she was laying on a bed. She smiled seductively up at Utena, "Welcome home, Tenchi."

Utena gulped visibly, clapped her hands together, and mimed praying.

"Well done, Utena-sama!" Anthy exclaimed.

Utena winced visibly, "That again."

"Chu!" Chu-chu exclaimed.

"No," Anthy knelt down to the little mouse, "you need to go, Myah!"

"Myah?" Chu-chu managed in his Ryo-Ohki costume.

Juri smoothly got up, "I guess that's enough for now." Juri looked over at the blushing Utena, 'She's kind of cute that way.'

Anthy smiled and bowed, "I enjoyed out scene together."

Utena sweatdropped as she squeaked out, "What, where Ayeka's torturing Ryouko and she ends up enjoying it?"

"Hai," Anthy beamed.

Juri chuckled softly, and in a singsong sort of voice quoted Ryouko's line, "Actually, I'm more of a sadist."

Utena blushed furiously. Under her breath she muttered, "Who on Earth picked out this to be a school play, anyway?"

Nanami, strangely, sneezed for no reason.

"Bless you," Touga remarked absentmindedly.

"Big brother," Nanami sighed, large throbbing hearts appearing in her eyes.

Touga sighed, and left the lunch table.

"I'm the greatest scientific genius in the universe," Nanami practiced her line while on her way back to classes, startling random passerby. "Hmm, not quite mad enough," she muttered to herself softly.

"Mad angry?" the voice asked.

"No, mad insane," she muttered softly, then suddenly stopped. 'Who said that?' she looked all around her, but saw nothing but two shadows against a wall. She sweatdropped, shook her head, and walked off.

Once she was gone, Shadowplay girl A-ko muttered, "I want to be in the play!"

Shadowplay girl B-ko patted her on the shoulder, "But there's no way."
Miki looked in shock at his set building crew. "How did they talk you all into doing this?" he asked, wide eyed.

Touga glared at him as if it was all his fault, "My darling sister Nanami said she's tell my next date I have an STD."

"Keiko has taken the precious exchange diary I share with my darling Anthy," Saionji muttered, "and will not return it unless I help you." He stood up straight and pointed to the sky as he loudly declared, "Anthy, I love you!"

"You keep an exchange diary?" Miki sweatdropped.

"My reasons for being here are my own," Akio sniffed.

"Anthy quivered her chin and cried at you, didn't she?" Touga asked.

"Well, yes," Akio admitted.

"Well, lets get to work," Miki sighed.

"Work?!" all three men exclaimed, and Miki sweatdropped visibly.

Author's Note: Yes, everybody's out of character. So? ^_^; I'll add on additional chapters when I'm feeling properly insane, so don't hold your breath waiting for the next one.

A tip of the hat to Dreiser, who's wacky fics are a constant source of inspiration.

Chapter 3

Utena Muyo! or No need for Utena! Part Three

Shiori sighed softly, "I can't believe it."

"Can't believe what?" Wakaba asked cutely.

"They were right about you being perfect for this," Shiori grimaced. She looked over at Wakaba. "Try that again."

Wakaba sat in front of the TV, pretending to watch it. The sound cue came on, and she exclaimed, "The emergency signal!"

Wakaba spilled her tea down the front of her costume, pretending to cry out in pain. She got up and took a step, tripping over a cable. She fumbled for a napkin, bringing a pile of books down on top of her. "Owee!"

Shiori laughed, "Perfect."

Nanami whistled cheerfully, heading for the theater to check up on Miki's progress. The young blue haired man was standing alone, directing the efforts of Akio, Touga, Saionji and a few of Touga's girl groupies.

"Do you think the sets will be ready for the first rehearsal?" Nanami asked.

Miki turned to her, and she took an involuntary step backwards. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was standing on end. "For Anthy's sake, it will be done!" he declared.

Nanami shuffled away, "Ooo-kaay."

She fled the theater, hearing Miki cry out to his crew, "Get back to work!" Nanami thought she heard a whip crack, but decided she was just hearing things.

'I hope,' she thought with a sigh.

Utena, Juri and Anthy walked by her, apparently in the midst of a heated argument. Juri, strangely, was still dressed in her fencing uniform, and Utena and Anthy were both carrying long towels with them.

"There are nude scenes in this play?" Utena demanded, her voice coming out with a bit of a squeak at the end.

"Of coarse, Utena-sama," Anthy said pleasantly, "there is a scene set in a hot spring. It's not like we could do it in our clothes."

"Probably we'll be wearing body suits, or something, "Juri reassured her with a impish little smile. She paused, "So where do you want to rehearse?"

"The rose garden," Utena said firmly. She sighed softly, adding "At least in there we won't have students walking in on us."

Juri opened the glass door in a gentlemanly fashion, waving the two of them inside. "We might as well start with those scenes," she grinned.

"Oh god," Utena groaned, and Anthy hid a smile.

Juri pretended to be peering over a wall, "This is where you've been! Come over here."

Utena spun around, blushing, "But that's the women's area."

Juri came up just behind her, and in a much more sultry sounding voice she asked, "Did you saw something?" Utena jerked with surprise, pretending that a naked woman had appeared right behind her.

"Well done," Anthy jumped up happily.

Juri smiled at her, picking up her script. "OK, with a bit of struggle on Tenchi's part,. Ryouko gets him up and over into the girl's side," she read.

Utena blushed again, averting her gaze from Juri.

Juri came up from behind her, her voice a throaty purr, "What are you embarrassed about?" A smile, "You've seen me naked before."

Utena blushed even brighter, for a moment actually loosing her voice. 'How does she do that?' Utena wondered.

'If she blushes much harder, she's going to faint,' Juri thought. Teasing Utena was such fun, and the way this play was written gave her plenty of opportunities. Taking pity, she said aloud, "Let's move on to the fight between Ayeka and Ryouko."

"How fun," Anthy clapped her hands.

'What planet is she from?' Utena wondered. She picked up her script with a sigh, "Uhm, Ayeka is almost dragged out to the pools by Ryouko, having been told that Tenchi is waiting there. She finally decides to go in."

Anthy had the towel wrapped around her, looking like she was ready to bathe. She looked over at Utena intensely, focused totally on Utena's gaze. She walks by Juri, who reached out to grab a string attached to the towel. In a step, the towel drops away, and Anthy shrieks, pretending to dive into the water for modesty.

Anthy grabs at the towel, pulling it her around her as she confronts Juri, "I'm not a show off like you!"

Juri smiled as she asked, "You bathe naked, don't you?" She gazed pointedly at Anthy's breasts, "You're not proud of yourself, are you? I guess I can understand." She gaze Anthy a dangerous smile, "If what I said was offensive, show yourself to me."

Anthy brings her hand back, pretending to slap Juri.

Juri slaps her twice in reply.

The two women glare at each other, hostility seeming to shimmer in the air between them.

"Uhm," Utena started, only to receive the glares directed at her, "never mind."

Both Anthy and Ryouko smiled suddenly, Juri saying, "Not bad."

"That was fun," Anthy agreed.

Both women looked at Utena curiously. Juri asked, "You didn't think we were really fighting, did you?"

"I don't know how much longer I can take this," Utena muttered.

Author's Note: Tenchi Dialog for this sequence was taken from the Tenchi Muyo OVA #4

Chapter 4

Utena Muyo! or No need for Utena! Part Four

Utena, Anthy and Juri walked along the hall, talking together softly. They had been seen with each other more and more often lately, even when they weren't rehearsing. They were an odd trio, the remote duelist and the two romantic young women, but somehow it seemed to work.

"Utena-sama!" the all heard the high pitched yell, and Utena was glomped. She staggered a bit, and Juri reached over to steady her.

Shiori walked up, looking over at Utena with an impish smile, "Does she do that often?"

"Yes," Utena sighed.

"You have my sympathies," Juri smirked.

"Utena-sama! Utena-sama!" Wakaba was hugging Utena fiercely before declaring, "You're the only one for me."

Utena noticed the odd looks Juri and Shiori were giving them, "She doesn't mean, I mean she does, but not..." Utena trailed off with a sigh, sweatdropping. Anthy didn't seem very bothered, just smiling sweetly.

"Chu!" Chu-chu added cheerfully.

Wakaba bounced down from Utena's back, waving cheerfully at Anthy, Juri and Shiori, "Let's go practice, Shiori."

The two walked off, and Utena sighed again.

Suddenly there was another high pitched yell, "Juri-sama!" Shiori took a running start and glomped Juri. Sadly, both she and the fencer crumpled in a heap to the ground.

"Are you all right?" Shiori asked her worriedly, sitting on Juri's back.

"Who knew Wakaba could be a bad influence?" Utena said softly to Anthy, who just shrugged eloquently.

Not long afterward Shiori and Wakaba took turns running from alcove to alcove along the hallway, miming pointing cannons at invisible enemies. "So that's how the attack on Kagato's ship will go," Shiori panted softly.

The two girl's walked off together, talking softly. "I thought that Kiyone was killed off in the OVAs?" Wakaba asked curiously.

"Dramatic license," Shiori shrugged. "I understand Nanami's take some liberties with the story," she added.

"But Kiyone," Wakaba said in a near perfect imitation of Mihoshi.

Shiori chuckled, smiling at the other girl. 'She really is kind of cute, in a genki sort of way,' she thought, 'I guess Juri was right.'
"There's only one thing left we can do," Nanami paused dramatically. She suddenly whipped out a pair of fans, yelling, "Go Ryouko! Go! GO!"

"Nicely done, Miss Nanami!" Keiko beamed.

"Thank you," Nanami smirked. "It was nothing," she shrugged.

Miki, Touga, Saionji and Akio run by, carrying a large piece of scenery. "Hup two three four!" Miki hollered, setting the pace.

"When I get my hands on Nanami," Touga growled.

"Just be glad Keiko doesn't have your exchange diary," Saionji muttered.

"You keep an exchange diary?" a random student smirked.

POW! The random student hit the floor with a thump.

Saionji smoothly put his wooden practice sword away. "Any other comments?" he asked them dangerously.

Keiko and Nanami watched them move on, sweatdropping. "So when do we have our first full rehearsals?" Keiko asked nervously.

"Tomorrow," Nanami said, reading over her script.

"Tomorrow?" Keiko squeaked.

"Tomorrow?!" Miki suddenly popped up to demand. His hair looked like it was filled with static electricity, and his eyes were wild.

"EEP!" Nanami and Keiko hopped away nervously.

"The sets still aren't done yet!" Miki exclaimed. He clenched his fists, and suddenly flames explode around him, "But for Anthy's sake, they will be finished!" A pause while he noticed the flames, "Nice pyrotechnics."

Nanami and Keiko backed away from him, very slowly.

"Is it me, or is he getting scary?" Keiko asked Nanami quietly.

"It's not you," Nanami whispered back.
Juri shook the hand of the school nurse, "Thank you very much for the cold pack."

"You're welcome," she waved cheerfully. Another girl came up, carrying a dark haired girl with her. "Excel, Hyatt, not again," the nurse complained, ushering them inside.

"I'm really sorry," Utena sighed.

"Not your fault," Juri shrugged. She looked at Utena with a new respect, "How do you stand having Wakaba do that to you all the time?"

"Practice," Utena sighed softly.

"Chu," Chu-chu added.

The Tenchi bits are from Tenchi Muyo OVA #6

Chapter 5

Utena Muyo! or No need for Utena! Part Five

The stage was dark, lit with an eerie green glow. Utena ventured forward cautiously, holding the sword's hilt in her hand as she aproached the depression in front of her. Her eyes widened, "Grandpa's story, could it be true?"

Utena's hand loosened it's grip on the sword, and it clattered to the stage. "Agh!" she exclained, cluching at her chest, "that was scary!"

Utena bent down to grasp the hilt, a hand suddenly comes out of the depression, grasping Utena's wrist firmly, and she gasps in surprise. Using that grip Juri slowly pulls herself up to a sitting position, the demon mask hiding her entire face. She reached out with one hand, gently stroking along Utena's cheek. She draws her closer, almost into a kiss...

Utena pulls free, turns, and runs. She scrambled desperately at the angled ramp, sliding back down before pulling herself up and away.

"Cut!" Wakaba cried out, "Good work, everybody."

"I'm not sure if you say that in theaters," Keiko pointed out. She was here to help organize this first real rehersal, as well as practicing for her Sasami bits.

"Whatever," Nanami shrugged. She looked over at Miki, "Nice job on the sets."

Miki didn't answer her. Shortly after he had been thanked sweetly by Anthy the young man had collapsed into a nearby chair,. Right now he was snoring softly in his sleep, draped over the chair in a boneless heap.

"At least his eyes aren't glowing red anymore," Keiko cheerfully pointed out how Miki had looked when they ran into him last night.

"That was freaky," Nanami agreed.

"Nicely done, Utena," Anthy clapped her hands happily.

Juri carefully pulled the demon mask off, running her hand through her hair to try to tidy her mane of orange-gold. "You actually looked frightened, poor girl," Juri smiled as she reached up a hand to stroke Utena's face like she had on the stage.

Utena blushed brightly, looking down. "You were pretty scary," Utena confessed, "with those little lights someone put in the eye holes of the mask."

"That was a nice touch, wasn't it," Juri grinned.

"You might help us out," the black clad Touga puffed tiredly, helping roll the pieces of the first set off the stage. All the stagehands were wearing black clothes, to keep them from being noticed by amyone in the audience.

"But I might mess up my costume," Juri smirked.

Touga swore under his breath and kept pushing.

"The rooftop battle scene is next," Wakaba yelled.

"Right," Saionji called out his answer, sorting through the set pieces until he found the right ones. He, Touga, Akio and a few of the girl groupies rolled out various segments, creating a mock-up of a school's rooftop.

Utena walked out in her school boy's uniform, carefully laying down on the roof on her side. She pretended to wake up, sitting up and stretching. She looked around her, "Oh great, I fell asleep." Chu-chu ventured out of the shadows in his cat costume, a little bell ringing on his collar. "Kitty, how did you get up here?" Utena asked.

Utena knelt down, Chu-chu ran at her, and then leapt only to seemingly disappear, dropping behind a back cloth set up beside her. She jerked in surprise, looking around wildly. The bell rang behind her this time, and she turned to see Juri perched up on a crate, looking down at her as she casually toyed with the cat's bell.

"Ryoko," Juri said simply.

"Huh?" Utena gaped at her in surprise.

Juri gave her a dangerous little smile, "That's my name." Her eyes suddenly began to glow softly in the darkness.

"Oh, no," Utena said weakly, "you can't be that... freeze dried demon!"

"It was dark and cold in there," Juri said to her softly, "over seven hundred years have passed since I was trapped in that cave." She began to look visibly angry as she continued, "You'll never know how much pain I had to suffer."

Utena looked up at her wide-eyed, "So you're here for revenge!"

"Right," Juri gave her an unrepentant bad girl grin.

"But it's not my fault," Utena protested, knowing that it wasn't gioing to work but having to try anyway. "It was my ancestor, some guy named Yosho," she pleaded with her.

"I don't care," Juri snapped back. She raised her open hand above her head, and right on cue the softly glowing sword dropped into her hand. She closed her fingers on it as she grinned ferally, "I just need to let my anger out now!"

Utena barely dodged the first attack as Juri leapt at her, then the tall duelist proceeded to chase her all over the darkened stage.

"Cut," Nanami jumped to her feet, "that was great!"

"Did I get the timing right?" Akio asked, sticking his head up over the back wall. It had been his job to toss the sword over to Juri at just the right time.

Keiko gave him a thumbs up, "Good one."

"I wouldn't mind some kind of visual effect when the sword appears," Juri suggested to Nanami. "It doesn't look terribly supernatural the way it is now," she sighed.

"Miki-kun," Nanami called out in a singsong voice.

"Yes?" Miki didn't stir from his seat.

"Do you think you could come up with something?" Nanami asked. She smiled, "I'm sure Anthy would really appreciate it."

With a soft moan Miki pulled himself to his feet. "I'll see what I can do," he sighed.

Anthy beamed at Juri and Utena, "That was so thrilling." She gaze Juri a thoughtful glance, "Would you like to have dinner with us at the dorm? We could practice our lines together."

"That would be a great idea," Juri grinned back at her, giving Utena a sidelong glance.

Utena suddenly began to think that something was going on...

Author's notes: The Tenchi Bits are from the Tenchi Muyo OVA #1.

Chapter 6

Utena Muyo! or No need for Utena! Part Six

"Mi... ho... shi!" Shiori growled out through gritted teeth, her fists shaking and a large 'X' throbbing in the veins on her forehead.

Wakaba's eyes got wide and tear-filled as she said, "I'm sorry Kiyone."

They stood there a moment, then the crowd watching them burt into a round of applause. A smiling Nanami stood up to say, "Considering how often you two are going to be doing that, I'm glad you've got it down!"

Shiori blushed slightly as she stammered, "I'd like to thank my acting partner, Wakaba, for all the inspiration!"

Large, throbbing hearts suddenly appeared in Wakaba's eyes, "Shiori- sama!" Glomp! They wobbled a moment, then both of them crashed down to the stage floor.

"Medic!" Keiko called out worriedly.

Juri smirked, before looking around her curiously. Touga was trying to put the noves on Utena again, who was completely ignoring him. 'So where's Anthy?' Juri wondered. She ventured back stage, looking around.

Anthy was looking at some of the sets, pointedly ignoring all of Saionji's attempts to talk to her. Finally she said, "We are no longer engaged, Saionji-san. I'm sorry, I'm with Utena-sama now."

Deciding it was time to take steps, Juri stepped up beside them to look down at him grimly and say, "Buzz off. Now." Saionji saw the grave expression on her face and decided to exercise the better part of valor. He left.

"Thank you, Juri-san," Anthy smiled up at her sweetly.

Juri paused a moment, looking down at the young woman. "No problem," Juri smiled, "there was something I wanted to ask you."

"Yes?" Anthy asked curiously.

"Chu!" Chu-chu popped up.

Juri looked down at the little monkey-mouse and sweatdropped. A soft puff of breath, "I'm sure you've noticed that I've been flirting with Utena." She looked at Anthy curiously, "Why haven't you tried to put a stop to it?"

Anthy looked up at her levelly, and for a moment Juri was reminded of when Anthy stood up on the dueling grounds, the wind blowing around them and her expression kept carefully blank. 'She's not going to answer me,' Juri thought as she looked at that poker face, then Anthy's expression seemed to change.

Anthy looked up at her and simply said, "I am bound to be the Rose Bride, and my desitny is here in Ohtori." With a sad little smile she added, "I think you'd be good for Utena, and that she would be good for you."

Juri met her eyes and realized that Anthy was completely serious. "Thank you," Juri answered her quietly.

Anthy visibly relaxed as she smiled impishly up at Juri, "I'm sure we're both looking forward to dinner tonight."

"Is there anything I can bring?" Juri quietly asked, still trying to fully accept what Anthy had just said to her.

With a sweet little smile Anthy said, "Just bring you and your script. We'll eat dinner and then practice our parts."

"See you then," Juri nodded to her, and then strode off down the hallway.

The sun was just beginning to set behind the school's buildings as Juri walked with a determined step to the East Dorm. The little white building stood there alone, and Juri found herself wondering what it was like to live in there.

With a little smirk Juri thought to herself, 'I could always put in for a transfer, just to see the look on poor Touga's face.' She lay her hand on the front door, then rang the bell. A few moments later and Utena pulled open the door, a beaming Anthy standing behind her.

"Welcome, Juri," Utena smiled at her, her pink hair falling into her blue eyes a bit. Without really thinking about it Juri reached out, gently pushing those bangs back and bringing a pink blush to Utena's cheeks.

"Welcome," Anthy's eyes were twinkling impishly.

"Glad to be here," Juri smiled back at them. She held up a bottle of fine wine, "I hope you don't mind that I brought this."

Anthy took the bottle from her gently, "I'll go chill this." She quickly made her way down to the kitchen and left the two of them alone.

` Utena was clearly flustered, so Juri reached out to gently take Utena's arm. Trying not to smile Juri asked, "Would you mind showing me around?"

"Right," a red cheeked Utena managed.

'This is going to be fun,' Juri thought with a grin as Utena lead her around the dorm. They walked into the dining room to find the table set, glasses glinting under the lights. Oddly, the table was only set for two.

"I'm sorry," Anthy stepped from the kitchen, dressed to go out, "I recieved a urgent request to see my brother. Is it all right if I leave you to have dinner together?"

Utena gulped visibly, but managed to say, "I think we'll be all right."

"I'll walk her to the door," Juri quickly volunteered, and she and Anthy strode to the door together. "Thank you," Juri whispered to her softly.

Anthy smiled up at her sadly, "Take good care of her, Juri."

"I will," Juri vowed to her with a firm nod, watching Anthy stride off into the darkening twilight. She turned and walked back inside to find the plates of food dished up, and Utena standing there somewhat nervously.

"Everything's ready," Utena blurted.

"Let's have some wine," Juri smiled, and strode into the kitchen to retrieve the chilled bottle. She poured them each a glass, and then she raised her's, "A toast?"

Utena nodded, "You first."

Juri thought about it for a moment then she raised her glass high and said, "To friends, and to those who are more than friends."

Utena blushed, but tapped her glass lightly against Juri's before both of therm drank. "I'm glad that we're friends," she smiled at Juri.

'She can be so clueless,' Juri thought, but she was smiling as she added, 'but I guess that's all part of her charm.'

Chapter 7

Utena Muyo! or No need for Utena! Part Seven

Juri and Utena gazed at each other over the dining table, drinking a bit of their wine as they finished off their meals. "Should we start to rehearse?" Utena asked Juri softly.

Juri smiled slightly, "It'll be fun."

They took their scripts up to Utena and Anthy's dorm room, and Juri looked admiringly around the neat, almost spotless room. "So where do you want to start?" Utena asked.

Juri picked up her script, "Let's do the hot springs." They took up their positions and Juri came up from behind her, her voice coming out as a throaty purr, "What are you embarrassed about?" A smile, "You've seen me naked before."

"You were only a mummy then," Utena stammered out, blushing.

"I'm not a mummy now," Juri's breath gently brushed across Utena's ear.

Utena looked up at Juri in surprise, a flush to her cheeks. Before she could say anything, Juri's lips gently brushed hers, then they lingered for a moment. "Was that in the play?" Utena asked her breathlessly.

Juri drew back, carefully giving her a bit of space. "No," she smiled down at Utena gently, "I hope you didn't mind."

"I liked it," Utena managed to get out, "but what about Anthy?"

Juri gently stroked Utena's long pink hair back from her face as she said softly, "I don't think Anthy would mind."

Utena looked down shyly, "I've never..." she started, then trailed off.

Juri blinked at her with an expression of honest surprise. She had thought that Utena, with her dressing in a boy's school uniform and her close relationship with her friend Wakaba would have already... but it didn't really matter.

"It's all right," Juri smiled at her, trying to be as comforting as possible.

"But I want to," Utena finished. She took Juri's hand in her warm ones, gently drawing her back towards her neatly made bed. Utena sat down on the side of the bed, tugging on Juri's hands to try to draw her down beside her.

Juri carefully kept her feet, her breath coming just a little bit faster. She put her hands on Utena's shoulders, "Are you sure?" Juri took a deep breath before admitting, "I don't think I could stand it, if you did change your mind."

"I'm very sure," Utena put special emphasis on those words. While keeping a firm grip on Juri's hands Utena let herself fall back on the mattress, pulling Juri down on top of her.

Juri laughed, enjoying the feel of their still clothed bodies on top of each other. "Welcome home Tenchi," Juri quoted the play with a impish grin.

"Welcome home," Utena agreed, wrapping her arms gently around Juri's neck to pull her down into a fierce kiss.

The rest, as they say, was history.

The Ohtori girl's Drama Club performance of Tenchi Muyo! was a huge hit, of course. They sold out the first night's tickets and every other night of the show, ever receiving a few requests to play outside of the school's theater. The set designs even won a few awards, of which the exhausted Miki only heard of a few.

The actresses all did a fine job, Nanami getting special mention for her portrayal of the mad scientist Washu. Shiori and Wakaba were the comic pair of the show, and did a humorous face-plant as an encore to the first performance.

But the performers everyone were talking about were Utena, Juri and Anthy. Utena didn't play Tenchi, many thought, she actually became him, the shy young man who grew up to take on a hero's mantle. Juri's saucy, flirting Ryouko and Anthy's regal, yet almost sorrowful Ayeka balanced Utena out perfectly, creating a play to remember. Each night they would step on the stage, and they would crackle with electricity just like the very first show.

The play only received one real criticism.

Despite Ayeka, Mihoshi, and others still officially being in the running for Utena's affections, the impression left was that Ryouko and Tenchi were a couple. The chemistry that Utena and Juri had on stage was incredible, and despite the writing of the play, when the two stood together on stage it was clear. They obviously belonged together.

It shouldn't have surprised anyone what happened next.

Juri and Anthy finished up the term before quietly transferring away from Ohtori academy. Utena never lost a Duel throughout that time, leaving the way that she had arrived: a champion. The only one who seemed unsurprised by their leaving was Anthy.

Simply, without fanfare, they moved in together in Tokyo, continuing their education. Utena introduced her lover Juri to her Aunt, and was in turn introduced to Juri's parents. Thankfully, none of the elders were all that surprised at how their young people had turned out.

It was a few month's later that a smiling Utena answered the door, "Yes?"

Wakaba beamed at her happily, "Utena-sama!" The smaller girl threw her arms around Utena's neck tightly, releasing her only after a few moments.

"You found the place all right?" Utena asked, leading Wakaba inside the apartment. The place was stylishly decorated, showing a great deal of taste.

"You give great directions," Wakaba smiled. She liked the dark pants and white shirt Utena was wearing, so similar to a boy's uniform. She looked around curiously before asking, "Are you living with someone?"

"My lover, Arisugawa Juri," Utena answered simply. She paused a moment to let Wakaba soak that in before asking, "Are you all right with that?"

Wakaba blushed, "Yes." She looked down shyly before admitting, "I've sort of become involved with a woman myself."

Utena leaned forward in curiosity, "Do you mind if I ask who?"

"Shiori," Wakaba beamed happily.

Utena blinked, trying to get her mind around that pairing...

The End.

Author's Final Note:

For a fic. that started out as only a goofy little idea on my hard drive, this has developed into a fair sized series! Even stranger, I was stumped for months on part one, and only after putting it up and receiving so many requests to continue it could I come up with part two. I'm choosing to bring it to an end at this point because I'm getting pretty close to the place where I'll run out of good jokes to do. And to be honest I'm getting a bit bored...

I always intended this to be a Juri/Utena fic., in part because I've never written one before. Lots of Utena/Anthy, yes, but no Utena/Juri, so I thought it was about time. Pairing up the Utena characters with Tenchi 'counterparts' was almost scarily easy. Utena HAD to be Tenchi, and Anthy made a good Ayeka. I could easily see Juri as Ryouko, she's got that impish sort of dark side to her.

Thank you, everyone who left a review! This fic. wouldn't have continued at all without your encouragement.

Chapter 8

Utena Muyo! Or, No Need for Utena!

Omake

Touga Kiryuu, current victor of the duels, looked up to meet his dueling partner with a charming smile... only to blink in surprise when a unfamiliar figure entered the dueling arena. “Who are you,” the redhead asked, “and where’s Utena?”

“Name’s Ryoko,” the blue haired woman dressed in a red and black body suit said casually, “I’m filling in.”

“Filling in?” Touga asked dryly.

“Seems Utena had some of Anthy’s curry again...”

“Ouch,” Touga winced. Anthy’s exploding cooking was legendary around the academy, to be eaten at your own risk.

“Anyway,” Ryoko said, “seems my mom owes Utena’s aunt a favor or some such, so she called me in to repay the debt.”

“Well,” Touga murmured. He maintained a calm appearance but inside he felt more than a bit of discomfort. His whole strategy on facing Utena had been based as much on psychological factors as dueling skill, and having this newcomer fight in her place meant his careful preperation had been for nothing.

“We doing this soon?” Ryoko looked around crossly.

“I’m sorry,” Anthy hurried across the dueling arena, “I didn’t mean to be late.”

“What kept you?” Touga frowned disapprovingly.

Anthy reached up to adjust her glasses as she said apologetically, “Well, Utena was having her stomach pumped and...”

“Thank you,” Ryoko quickly cut her off before she could go into any kind of detail, “could we start please?”

“Thanks,” Touga sighed, also not wanting to hear any more details.

“The duel ends if you lose your rose,” Anthy cautioned as she put a almost icy blue flower at the breast of Ryoko’s costume.

“Seems simple enough,” Ryoko agreed, “let’s get on with it.”

Anthy walked to Touga’s side as she declared, “O Roses of the noble castle, O Power of Dios that slumbers within me, harken unto thy master and reveal to us...” She fell back into his arms as a light shone forth from her chest.

Drawing the Sword of Dios from her chest Touga finished dramatically, “...the power to revolutionize the world!”

Clap! Clap! Clap!

“Very snazzy,” Ryoko conceded, “I can’t top that.” She gestured and a blade composed of pure red energy appeared, “But I think this’ll do.”

‘Obviously this is not a normal duelist,’ Touga blinked, feeling his confidence waver. He shook himself and said politely, “Ladies first.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Ryoko dived forward, swinging her blade wildly.

Touga ducked and swung, but with a grace that a cat would envy Ryoko twisted aside. ‘She’s good,’ he realized as her return strike nearly took off his head. Back and forth they fought, Touga doding the unknown weapon of the mystery woman even as he searched for a opening.

“Y’know,” Ryoko said conversationally, “playing like this is fun but I’m getting kinda bored. Time to finish this.”

This time there was no dodging the strike so Touga desperately parried with the Sword of Dios... only to see the Sword sheared in half by the energy blade. A second strike turned his rose to garbage, sending charred petals spiraling to the ground.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“Well that was unexpected,” Akio Ohtori blinked, his stylish purple hair falling into his eyes, his shirt half open.

“Not really,” Washu said cheerfully, the red headed woman offering a container as she asked, “more sake?”

“Please,” Akio held out his cup.

“The duels are both a physical and psychic phenomenon,” Washu took on a lecturing tone, “where to people’s wills battle as much or more so than the clash of swords.”

“So your Ryoko had a stronger will?” Akio looked thoughtful.

“Partially,” Washu drank her own sake, “and there’s another factor involved.”

Akio drank gracefully, “Oh?”

“The blade Ryoko uses is a manifestation of pure psionic force,” Washu shrugged, “in the arena it’s a ace against almost anyone.”

“That’ll make the dueling game we’re arranged rather one sided,” Akio frowned.

“Not if I provide blades to your duelists,” Washu gave a evil grin, “not to mention bringing in a few ringers of my own.”

“That’s annoy your little Ryoko,” Akio smiled slyly.

“She could use a little annoyance,” Washu shrugged casually. “More sake?”

“This could be very entertaining,” Akio held out his cup with a smile.

“To the power to revolutionize the world,” Washu toasted.

“To the power,” Akio agreed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ryoko walked out of the dueling arena casually, her long blue hair flowing down her back as she passed the street lamps. “What are you doing here?” Ryoko asked as she saw Anthy waiting by the enterance way.

“I am the Rose Bride,” Anthy smiled respectfully, “and I belong to you.”

“Hey, I was just there subbing for Utena.” Ryoko quickly protested as Anthy and she walked off together.

“You won the duel,” Anthy was gentle but firm, “you are now my betrothed.”

‘What the hell,” Ryoko said after a moment, “I’ve had worse situations in my life.” Silently she added, ‘All 5000 years of it.’

“What would you like to do now?” Anthy asked after a moment.

Ryoko slapped Anthy on the shoulder, “Let’s go get a drink.”

“But I’m not old enough...” Anthy started.

Ryoko shook her head as she commented, “Don’t kid a kidder. We both know you’re way older than you seem.”

“Well,” Anthy hesitated, clearly thrown by this bold woman.

“First, I’ll introduce you to sake,” Ryoko grinned impishly, “then we’ll see what else we can round up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Anthy said faintly.

“Chu,” Chu-chu watched disaprovingly.

“Myah?” Ryo-Ohki surprised it, sending the mouse scurrying away.

“Chu!” Chu-chu raced erratically.

“Myah!” Ryo-Ohki exclaimed, chasing her new toy with glee.

End...?

Notes: A ‘serious’ crossover between Tenchi Muyo and Utena’d be a pretty one sided fic, so I decided to go at it in a humorous way. The idea that the duels are both physical as well as mental came from reading the Big Eyes Small Mouth RPG guides to Utena, but I liked it so I worked it into this fic.