In My Heart and In My Mind
By Kathryn K. Williams 2006
Chapter Seven
After a time Samantha slowly pulled herself into a seated position and looked up at the nurse, “Thank you for staying with me.”
“My pleasure.” The nurse returned politely, “It is not everyday that I get to comfort a pretty girl like yourself.” She leaned in close to the girl and whispered into her ear, “There are mostly creepy old men here and I’d prefer to be comforting you then them.”
Samantha let out a soft giggle and smiled. “Can I go to the bathroom?” She inquired shyly.
The nurse nodded and pointed to the corner of the room, “It is right over there.”
Sam carefully crawled out of the bed and gingerly set a foot upon the ground, testing to see how steady her legs were, if her arm suddenly did not want to work what would she do if the same happened with her legs. The thought terrified her, never being able to run through fields anymore, never being able to ride her bike through the forest paths.
“Do you need any help?” Janis inquired, watching as the girl wobbly walked around the bed.
“N… no...” Sam replied as she used the bed to help steady herself. She found herself slightly off balance but could walk all right and let out a sigh of relief. She took a step forward to discover that her arm was still attached to something. The doctors had stripped her of most of the monitors, but she still had an IV attached to her left arm. Cautiously she reached out to grab hold of the pole and using it like a crutch she moved towards the washroom. The moment she closed the door she leaned against it and let herself sink to the ground.
((Sam?)) Star worriedly inquired, ((Are you alright?))
((I don’t know)) Samantha replied, curling her legs up close to her body, trying to keep her emotions under control, ((I’m all alone.))
((Not entirely.)) Star corrected the girl, ((I’m still with you.))
Sam shook her head ruefully, ((I still don’t even know who you are.)) Samantha noted, ((Don’t you have to sleep or something? I mean are you going to be inside of my head all the time?))
((It looks that way. Maybe it will help if I tell you more about myself. Let’s see...)) Star thought to herself for a moment, ((I just turned sixteen today. I love stuffed animals and 80's music and video games and...))
Sam let out a small laugh, ((That is not what I meant)) She remarked with an amused smile upon her face.
Star let out a sigh, ((I bet your smile is beautiful. I wish I could see it.))
Sam flushed, ((I’m far from beautiful.)) She remarked miserably.
((Let me be the judge of that.)) Star suddenly demanded, ((Go to a mirror.))
Sam’s heart began to race uncontrollably, ((You can see what I see?)) She inquired worriedly, staring down at the pale blue hospital gown that covered her upper body to mid calf.
((Only when I close my eyes.)) Star assured the girl, ((Why don’t you try it first. Close your eyes and take a look.)) She offered.
A crooked smile crossed Sam’s face, ((Really? You don’t mind?)) She inquired nervously.
Star shrugged, ((It’s not like I walk around naked all the time or something.)) Star stated with a small laugh, ((I’m just sitting in bed in my nightgown so there isn’t much for you to see, but give it a try.))
(A… Alright…)) Samantha agreed, then took a deep breath before lightly closing her eyes. For a moment she only saw darkness, then a moment later an image began to come into view. Before her she saw a long bed come into focus. It was covered in a large soft looking comforter with images of cats printed upon its surface. Under the surface of the blanket she could make out of form of legs and she saw two arms clad in a pink flannel nightgown. Slowly she began to feel the warmth of the comforter and the softness of the flannel against her skin. She took in a deep breath to catch a soft scent of flowery shampoo along with something else she could not quiet explain, however the feeling calmed Sam’s anxiety and she found her mind finally slowing down in pace.
((You smell wonderful.)) She breathed softly and suddenly she felt a heat rise up around her that she figured must have been Star blushing in embarrassment.
((It is only shampoo.)) Star nervously explained, ((I just had a bath before going to bed and my hair is still wet.)) She stated as she anxiously ran a hand through her hair and Sam could feel the cool, damp, feeling of it running through her fingers.
Sam quickly opened her eyes and shook her head, almost expecting to feel damp hair against her head, ((That was strange.)) She said as the sense of Star lingered ever so slightly before slowly fading away.
((I… I didn’t exp…expect that…)) Star admitted with a pant.
((Are you alright?)) Sam inquired worried, ((You sound out of breath.))
((I’m fine.)) Star took a long breath and let it out, ((It felt as if you were a part of me for a moment there that when you left it felt as if you were pulling me with you.))
Sam rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment, ((I’m sorry, this is all new to me.)) Sam reminded the girl.
((This is a first for me too.)) Star explained, ((Occasionally I fall in touch with someone near me, but nothing like this. I’m almost afraid to try myself.))
((You still want to try?)) Sam squirmed into the corner of the washroom, not that she knew it was more then just seeing, but everything else as well the thought of allowing the girl further into her mind scared her.
((Don’t be scared.)) Star soothed, ((I will not hurt you, or poke around in your mind if that is what you are worried about.))
((You promise?)) Sam asked, suddenly feeling vulnerable.
((I promise.)) Star agreed with a nod of her head that Sam felt, ((So can I finally see the face of the girl I’m sharing minds with?)) She inquired interestedly.
Sam glanced up at a mirror that hung over a small sink next to a towel, ((Promise you won’t laugh?)) She asked nervously.
((Now why would I laugh?)) Star returned, ((I have a cousin that wears tones of white make up and thousands of piercing and I’ve never laughed at her, in fact I find her quiet interesting.))
Sam made a small smirk, ((I know someone like that, but that is far from what I look like… I’m just plain as hell.))
((Will you let me have my own opinion for once and show me your face?)) She demanded with a chuckle and a shake of her head, ((Are you always like this?))
((Like what?)) Sam asked curiously.
((No self esteem what so ever.)) Star bluntly stated.
Sam winced, ((Yeah… I guess that would be me…)) She stared up at the mirror again and took a hold of the edge of the sink; ((Well since you insist…)) She hauled herself to her feet and took a deep breath as she set her eyes upon the mirror. ((Take a look quickly before I change my mind.))
((Alright.))
Sam was not sure what she was waiting for when suddenly she felt something pass through her and she could sense Star within her as ever part of her body began to lightly tingle. It felt as if she was in a strong embrace and it made Sam’s heart race. She suddenly became light-headed and needed to hold onto the sink in order to keep her balance, but her hand slipped on the porcelain sink and she tumbled to the floor with a heavy thud.
((Sam? Are you alright?)) Star inquired uneasily.
((I…)) She could feel warm tears build up behind her eyes and quickly wiped them away, ((I feel dizzy…)) She explained as she tried to catch her breath.
((Inhale slowly, take long deep breathes.)) Star instructed.
Sam did as she was told and slowly her head began to clear, but her limbs felt weak and she struggled to get to a seated position again.
“Samantha!?!” Janis’s voice drifted from beyond the door, “Samantha are you alright?”
She tried to call out to the woman, but could not find her voice. She heard the woman scramble around behind the door then it slowly opened, knocking her over again.
“Samantha…Sam?!?” The nurse knelt next to Sam and looked into the girl’s eyes, “What happened?”
“I… I fell…” She said in a weak tired voice.
“Did you hit your head?” The nurse anxiously inquired.
Sam slowly shook her head as the nurse helped her to her feet and over to the bed.
“You should rest up and don’t try so hard.” The nurse urged as she helped the girl back into bed, “If you need anything just call for me with that button.” She explained as she handed a small square devise to the girl, “It operates the bed as well so if you don’t feel comfortable you can adjust it.”
Sam smiled at the nurse, “Thank you.”
Janis ran her hand across the girl’s cheek and returned the smile, “Anytime, now you rest up and I’ll be right down the hall if you need me.”
Sam slowly nodded as she watched the nurse slowly leave the room.
((Star?)) Sam reached out with her mind, afraid that she might have lost her friend.
((I’m right here.)) Star replied tensely and Sam was almost certain she could sense that the girl has been crying a moment ago, ((A… are you alright?))
((What happened?)) Sam inquired, ((I thought I almost lost you.))
((So did I…I’m sorry.)) Star apologized, ((That was my fault. I should have warned you about that. I assumed you knew that could happen when you get too close to an extreme emotional source or have something pass through your body.))
((This is all new too me.)) Sam stated weakly, ((Until today I’d only had small things happen with animals and sometimes knew when it rained.))
((I’m sorry.)) Star repeated woefully.
Sam was certain this time that she tasted tears upon her lips and a vice upon her heart, ((Are you crying?))
((I’m sorry…)) Star sniffled, ((I finally find a friend and I nearly kill her. I’m so stupid.))
((You consider me a friend?)) Sam inquired perplexedly, ((You barely know me.))
((Do you know how hard it is to find friends when everyone considers you a freak.)) Star inquired miserably, ((My mom was forced to move to a new town because me and I don’t know anyone in this town. Just when I find another kindred spirit I mess up completely.))
Sam shook her head, ((You did not mess up. You… did you call me a “Kindred Spirit”))
Star flushed, ((Well, yeah… that is what you are… aren’t you? I’ve never met another psychic soul like yours and it feels like we were destine to meet… I mean… that is…)) Star became increasingly flustered with every other word, ((Geez, you must think I’m stupid.))
Sam smiled, ((It does feel that way doesn’t it.)) She agreed. ((I can’t explain it, but I am glad we met. I don’t know how I would have handled today without you.))
Star let out a sigh of relief, ((Glad to be of help.))
Sam let out a yawn and glanced around herself, ((I wish I had my journal because I would love to write all this down. It has been one hell of a day.)) She stated sleepily, ((Trish would never believe it if I told her.))
((Who is Trish?)) Star asked, trying to make conversation.
((A friend… or I hope she is still my friend after the way I acted today.)) Sam said miserably as she recalled the events before ending up in the hospital and pulled the pillow around her head, ((God, I’m such an idiot.))
((It can’t be that bad.)) Star insisted, ((What happened?))
Sam let go of the pillow and stared up at the ceiling overhead, square tiles of dry wall formed the ceiling and there was a long florescent lamp over her head that illuminated her bed with its soft glow. She stared at the light as she tried to consider how to word what had happened to her earlier, “It was all because of that stupid toy and that device.” She suddenly recalled the Meephit and then sat up to find the toy lying upon the blankets to her side. Gingerly she picked up the stuffed toy and turned it over in her hands. The psychic calculator that lived within its chest was no longer there and then she remembered it was in her back pocket when she fell. She began searching for her clothes to find the gadget laying upon the night table to her left, its display blinking as if it were trying to get her attention.
((What the hell?)) Sam picked up the toy to find still blinked the same message from when she was hit upon the head, ((How did this thing know I was in danger?)) She asked curiously.
((What thing?)) Star inquired curiously, ((What are you talking about?))
((That Meephit. Before my mother hit me it started beeping away and told me to run away.)) She explained in a bewildered tone.
((That toy that my mother got me when I met you?)) Star inquired, ((I felt there was something strange about it, but I don’t believe it can really tell the future.))
Sam rubbed her head, ((I didn’t believe it either, but when I asked it if someone loved me it told me that my best friend did.))
((It did?)) Star puzzled over this idea, ((Did it use her name?))
Sam shook her head, ((No, but it said that she was waiting upstairs and knew that I was going to have dinner with her.))
((So what did you do?))
Sam let out a deep sigh, ((I ran…))
((Why? Are you afraid of lesbians?)) Star inquired.
Sam could sense an edge to the girl’s voice and a tension building up inside of her. ((N… no…)) Sam shook her head and rubbed at her eyes, ((I have no problem with her being gay… I just…)) Her thoughts began to tremble as she tried to explain what it was that she feared more then anything else.
((What is it? You can tell me.)) Star insisted, ((I won’t make fun of you. I sort of know how you feel… I fell in love with my best friend and it freaked me out. I could not get her out of my mind and that scared me more then this psychic stuff.))
Sam became startled by what she was hearing, “You like girls” She exclaimed before realizing she was speaking aloud.
A nurse peeked through the window of the room and opened the door, “Is everything alright in here?” The woman inquired.
Sam nodded, “I’m sorry… I was just…” She glanced around herself till her eyes feel upon the toad and held it up, “I was just talking to my toad is all.” She explained sheepishly.
“Oh… Alright…” The nurse gave her a peculiar look before slipping back out of the room and let the door softly close behind her.
Sam dropped her head in her hands, ((She is going to think I’m a child.)) Sam stated dismally. She was answered with only silence, ((Star… Are you there?)) She held a hand close to her chest as she realized how stupid she was for reacting the way she did. Somewhere she could feel Star’s heart beating wildly and the sensation of intense fear.
((Star… I’m sorry… I…)) Sam let out a deep sigh and ran a hand over her face, ((I’m so stupid.)) Now she could feel her own heart racing and tears threatened to burst forth from her eyes yet again, ((Please don’t leave me… I’m sorry… I… I’m scared Star…)) She stammered as her thoughts tumbled over itself, ((I… I… think I l… love Trish and it scares the hell out of me.)) She finally admitted and with this admittance a steady flow of words began to uncontrollably tumble from her lips, ((I love the feeling of her close to me and the way she plays with my feet, I love the way she comforts me when I’m upset and how she always seems to know when I need a hug. I’m so used to being hated that I’m scared of the thought that someone could love someone like me. I’m afraid to loss her and I don’t know what to do.)) She buried her face into the pillow and let out a tired sob.
Sam suddenly felt Star’s warmth wash over her and she imagined the girl curled up behind her, arms wrapped around her body and holding her tightly.
((You don’t have to be afraid anymore.)) Star soothed, ((I’m here for you and I will never leave your side.))
((But what if our link is broken.)) Sam worried, ((Then what will I do.))
((Then I’ll come searching for you in person.)) Star insisted, ((I will not stop until I find you.))
((But we could me far apart.)) Sam remarked, ((I could be in another country for all we know.))
Sam could feel Star smile, ((We are much closer then you think.))
((How can you be certain?)) Sam worried.
((Fine, where do you live?)) Star inquired.
((Whetshones.)) Sam answered, scared that this would only verify her worries.
((WHETSHONES!?!)) Star exclaimed in surprised, ((Oh gee! This is great! I’ve been living here since I was little. Maybe I’ll see you in the morning. What hospital are you staying at?))
((Ummm… Uhhh…)) Sam found herself shocked by this sudden turn of events. The possibility that Star could visit her in the morning both excited and scared her. She glanced down upon the plastic bracelet that hung around her wrist to find the hospital’s name printed along with her other information, ((St. Michelle’s…))
((I know where that is. I’ll come to see you.)) Star insisted with such excitement that even Sam could feel the rush, ((You get some sleep and I’ll see you soon.))
((A… alright…)) Sam agreed, but feared she would never be able to sleep now.
((Sam…)) Star’s voice rose up in Sam’s head after a few moments of silence, ((I’m glad we met.))
((So am I.)) Sam awaited another reply, but had a feeling that Star had fallen fast asleep for she could feel a relaxing sensation fill her mind and heart. She wondered if this would be how she spends the rest of her life, forever sharing her heart and soul with another. Part of her found the idea comforting, never to be alone again, but she worried that soon she would get on Star’s nerves and the girl would not want to be around her any longer. She tried to force those thoughts from her mind and get some sleep, even if it was restless.
*****
To be Continued . . .
*****
Note: Characters and ideas in this story are a copyright of Kathryn K Williams.
If you wish to view art from this series please visit my deviant arts site at: http://shinigami-shimai.deviantart.com/
For more of my stories visit my deviant hearts site at: http://www.devianthearts.com/viewuser.php?uid=159
Also if you spot any typos or other errors please contact me at katwilliams @ rogers.com
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