Story: The REAL Ranma-'chan' (chapter 1)

Authors: KaitonLocke

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Chapter 1

Title: The Ranma intro

[Author's notes: You all know how I am by now, so I really don't need to hear more about re-hashing the anime/manga. You'll see the differences if you pay enough attention.]

"I still say the whole thing sucks," A morose redhead grumbled to a soaking wet panda. "Pickin' my fiancée for me ‘fore I was born."

"Growf," the panda growled, then pulled out a sign reading, <‘It's a matter of honor, boy!'>

"What do you know ‘bout honor oyaji!?" the redhead shouted. "I ain't gotta marry any girl I dunno, just cause you say that it's a matter of honor."

<‘You will marry a Tendo, boy!'> The panda signed. <‘You must fulfill your honor as a Saotome!'>

"Screw you oyaji!" the redhead bellowed, sending the message home with a series of blurry punches and leaping kicks. She fought the panda, not pulling any punches, trying to seriously injure the animal. "I ain't gonna marry no girl I dunno dammit!"

<‘You,'> came the first sign, that was deftly kicked away. <‘will marry,'> said the second, only to be splintered by her fist. <'a Tendo!'> the third finalized and was promptly smashed over the panda's head with an ax-kick from the redhead.

"Baka oyaji," the redhead groused as she used the panda's head as a spring board and somersaulted over it, planting her feet flat in its back on her way down. "Eat that old man!"

"Growf, growf," the panda grumbled in reply.

"Heh, I'm goin back to China," the redhead scoffed. "So suck on that oyaji!"

The panda climbed up from the ground, easily uprooted a street sign and smacked the redhead's skull with it, rendering the girl unconscious.
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Soun Tendo sits on the patio reading the post card for the fifth time, his trademark waterworks flowing. ‘Saotome, old friend, you're finally here!' He rose to his feet and rushed into the kitchen. "Kasumi!"

"Hai, Otou-san?" Kasumi replied.

"I have news, wait in the dining room," Soun ordered gently. "I'll get your sisters."

Soun rushed upstairs. "Nabiki," he called, opening the door with her name plate on it.

"Hai," Nabiki answered, looking up from her manga.

"I have some important news," Soun declared again. "I want you to meet Kasumi in the dining room."

"Hai," Nabiki replied, nodding.

Soun ran off down to the other end of the hallway. "Akane!" He called again, only to find the girl's room empty. "Now where is that girl?"
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A young teen girl stands in the middle of a dojo, her gi hanging loosely from her trim body, hiding all her female curves. She took a deep breath and then focused on the two cinder blocks stacked at her feet. She took another deep breath and balled up her fist. "HIYAH!" She shouted, plowing her fist through the two bricks with practiced ease.

Nabiki opened the dojo door and stopped a pebble that bounced away from the shattered bricks with the sole of her foot. "Gee, Akane, and you wonder why the boys all think you're weird."

"Why should I care Nabiki?" Akane retorts. "I'm not the one who thinks the world revolves around ... boys!" She shouted vehemently.

"No?" Nabiki quips. "Then you wouldn't be interested in what daddy's gonna say."

Akane glares at the back of Nabiki's head as the middle Tendo departs from the dojo. She quickly sweeps the remains of the two bricks aside and follows.
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In the dining room, the three Tendo girls sit across the table from their father. They listen to their father as he tells them of his training with the Saotome patriarch. He tells them of his friend's son and their old promise.

"Fiancée?" Kasumi asks, her hand on her chin.

"Yes," Soun nods. "My dear friend Saotome and his son are on there way now. They should be here any moment. It was our dream to unite the Tendo and Saotome schools of Anything Goes."

"So Daddy," Nabiki cooed, "What's Ranma like? Is he cute?"

Soun chuckled a little. "I don't know." He said evenly.

"You don't know!?" Akane bellowed.

"I've never met him," Soun answered with a wan smile.

"You expect us to marry some ... some BOY you've never met!?" Akane yelled, her face growing red.

"Calm down Akane," Nabiki said easily. "He could be cute."

"I don't care if he's cute!" Akane hollered at her older sister. "He's a boy and boys are prudish freaks!"

"Ara!" Kasumi exclaimed. "Akane! That's not true. Although I hope he's older. Younger men are so ... boring."

"Oh Kasumi," Nabiki sighed. "You just like Tofu so much that most men your age don't appeal to you."

"Oh my!" Kasumi breathed, her face reddening. "Nabiki-chan, please don't tease me."

Akane watched her sisters with a defeated air. She too liked Ono Tofu-sensei. Seeing as how he reacted around Kasumi lately, she knew who held his heart. With a sad sigh. She dropped back to the floor and stared at her nervous father.

"Nabiki, Kasumi, Akane," Soun began, "I want you to treat Ranma and my old friend Saotome with respect and kindness. They have been traveling for ten years now, and are returning here from China."

"Oooh, China," Nakibi's eyes shimmered with interest at the thought. 'Travel usually means wealth. And if he's rich, and handsome, I'll be a happy iinazuke.'

"Bah, China, who cares," Akane grumbles. "He's still probably a prude like all the other boys."

"Akane!" Kasumi admonished. "That's not something you should say about an honored guest!"

As Kasumi reprimanded the youngest Tendo, the opening of the compound gate alerted them to a visitor's arrival. Soon afterward, the protests of one very incensed redhead could be heard.

"Put me down baka oyaji!" She exclaimed. "I dun wanna go! Put me down!"

"Oh my, we have visitors!" Kasumi said.

"Ooh, it must be Ranma!" Nabiki exclaimed. She rose to her in an uncanny display befitting someone other the then middle Tendo girl. She ran into the hallway and headed for the front entrance.

"Saotome, my old friend!" Soun shouted, following his middle daughter.

Kasumi rose to her feet and was followed into the hallway by the still brooding Akane. As they walked toward the end of the hallway, they were nearly ran over by a fleeing Nabiki with their father close behind.

"Ara! " Kasumi squealed when the panda carrying a redhead turn the corner.

"Is this your friend daddy?" Nabiki asked hotly.

Soun was baffled and confused. He quickly and vigorously shook his head to answer Nabiki's question.

"So a panda just happened to drop by for a visit?" Akane asked.

Again, due to confusion, Soun vigorously shook his head in denial.

Said panda stopped in front of the Tendo family, still carrying the redhead on his shoulder.

"Look oyaji, yer scarin 'em sptiless!" she exclaimed. "Now put me down!"

The panda followed the redheads request and put her down in front of the Tendo girls and their father. She smiled at them sheepishly. "I'm Saotome Ranma, sorry 'bout this."

"You're Saotome Ranma?" Soun asked hesitantly. The redhead nodded. "Oh happy day!" Soun rushed forward and pulled Ranma into a hug. He quickly became confused as he felt something that no boy should have. Giving Ranma a squeeze, he felt it again. He released Ranma from the hug and held her at arms length. He looked her over then let go of her. He then made the motion in air of a feminine figure and then backed away from the buxom redhead.

"Daddy?" Nabiki said, confused at her father's actions. She looked closely at Ranma and then poked the other girl in the chest. "Daddy! Ranma's not a boy, he's a girl!"

"A-a g-g-girl?" Soun stuttered. His world then started to spin and fade from view. As things grew dark Soun wanted to weep. He then fainted dead away.
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As Soun came to, he saw the three faces of his daughters. One bore a look of worry, one was angry, and the third was happy. Soun slowly sat up and searched the room. He found the panda and the redhead sitting at the table. The panda was watching him curiously while the redhead was staring at the table. He assessed the situation and made a quick decision.

"Daddy, why have you engaged one of us to a girl?" Nabiki said, her displeasure was evident.

"I had assumed my friend's son was a boy." Soun replied evenly.

"Clearly this is a girl," Nabiki growled, groping Ranma's chest.

Ranma tensed at the touch, her body easily responding to the caress. "Please stop that," She whispered, not wanting the girls to think bad of her.

"Nabiki!" Akane said loudly. "She's our guest, girl or boy. Like father said, we should treat Ranma with kindness and respect. Ranma, I'm Akane, want to be friends?"

"Um ..." Ranma hesitated, "sure."

"Good, wanna see the dojo?" Akane asked sweetly.

"Yeah, I'd like to see it." Ranma answered a little more confidently.

The pair of girls made their way across the Tendo residence to the building that housed the dojo. They entered and Ranma looked around the dojo. She liked it's size and enjoyed the more cozy feel that it offered compared to the others on her long trip.

"You practice Kenpo right?" Akane asked the shorter redhead.

"A little," Ranma answered softly.

"Well, let's have a little match then, okay?"

"Um, sure." Ranma answered.

The two faced one another, Akane in a fighting stance, while Ranma stood in a relaxed stance. Akane slid her left foot to the right and then charged. She led the attack with a quick left-right punch combo, which was effortlessly avoided, and followed with a snap kick which was dodged when Ranma bent backwards. Akane continued to attack, but never landed a single blow.

'Is she reading my moves?' Akane thought. 'I can't land a single blow. She's fast!'

Nearing the dojo wall, Akane was still continuing her assault on the shorter girl and decided to put all she had into a single blow. The punch was fast, but Ranma was faster as she leapt and somersaulted over Akane, which cause Akane's fist to impact the wall making a hole. As Ranma landed, she poked Akane in the back of the head and began to giggle. It was slightly infectious as Akane soon joined in and they were both giggling merrily.

Akane sighed and looked at the redhead. "That was fun, I'm really glad you're a girl."

Ranma looked pained at the statement and looked at Akane. "Why?"

Akane just looked at the girl and headed for the dojo's door. "I'm just really glad you're not a boy."

As Akane exited the dojo, she missed Ranma's hurt expression and her sad sigh. Ranma's head dropped and she followed Akane out, and headed back to the house. She met Kasumi in the kitchen and mumbled a greeting.

Kasumi saw the girl and smiled serenely. "Oh Ranma-chan, you and panda-san are sharing the guest room, would you like me to show you the way?"

"Okay I guess," Ranma-chan said wearily.

Ranma-chan and the eldest Tendo girl made their way up the stairs and to the guest room. Kasumi opened the sliding door and turned on the lights. Ranma gazed around the room appreciatively. She laid her pack down next to the door and entered the room. She looked at the sparse furniture and noted the number of futons in the closet.

"Thank you Kasumi," The redheaded Saotome said, bowing to Kasumi.

"Oh my, you're welcome Ranma-chan," Kasumi answered, smiling. "Oh and the bath is ready if you want Ranma-chan. I'm sure you'd like one after your workout with Akane."

At the word bath, Ranma flinched. Bath meant warm water and she knew what would happen then. "Um ... no thanks Kasumi."

"Okay then, I'll go tell Akane she can use it then." Kasumi said softly. "Do make yourself comfortable Ranma-chan."

"Thanks Kasumi, I'll try." Ranma-chan answered.

Kasumi shut the door on her way out and Ranma sat on the floor and began to meditate. She let her head fall, but quickly snapped it back up once she caught a whiff of herself. 'Maybe a bath is something I need. I smell awful!'
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Akane entered the changing area of the furo and began to remove her training gi. She noticed Ranma's Chinese tang and pants. 'I guess we can bathe together.' She stripped and grabbed a towel.
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Ranma sat in the bath and replayed Akane's departing words in his head. He sank lower into the water and felt himself slip further into sadness. He had been given the offer of friendship by her, and had gladly accepted it. His first friend in a long time, and she hated boys. He sighed and sagged his shoulders. 'They'll find out anyway.' He mused sadly. He rose from the water.
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Akane walked to the furo door and slid it open. She raised her head to she the naked Ranma-kun rising from the water.

Upon Akane's entry, Ranma had turned to the door. She stopped in mid movement, thus Akane's free show. Both were frozen in place.
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Kasumi exited the Kitchen carrying the tea tray and walked into the dining area where a portly middle-aged man wearing a white bandanna, large round glasses, and a dirty white gi sat next to her father while Nabiki sat at the table lost in thought.

Nabiki was staring at the table, her left hand stroking her chin absently. 'Damn, stupid laws. How can I go about this legally. I can try ... nah, that wouldn't do. Maybe ... no, that's out too. What if ... wouldn't work in a million years. DAMN! Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn!'

"Tou-san, who is our new guest, and where is Mr. Panda?" Kasumi asked, placing the tea tray in the table's center.

"This is my old --" Soun began.

"YAHOO!" Akane's glee filled cry stopped Soun mid sentence and drew the attention of everyone to the furo door.

"Ara! Why does Akane sound happy?" Kasumi noted sweetly.

"This I got to see," Nabiki said, bolting up the stairs and into the furo. Kasumi, Soun, and the bandanna and gi clad man followed.

They came into the changing room to see Akane dancing around naked with the largest grin on her face. She was naked and currently her developing "assets" were on display for all to see.

"Akane!" Kasumi admonished. "You shouldn't be dancing around naked like this. It's improper!"

Akane halted her dance and pouted at Kasumi for scolding her. "Gomen, Nee-chan. I won't dance around naked anymore."

Nabiki was looking at her sister with a curious smirk. "So imoto-chan, why the nude jig?"

Akane grinned widely and pointed into the furo. "Free show!" She exclaimed while smiling even wider.

Nabiki, Kasumi, Soun, and the unknown man followed her hand and the two elder Tendo girls had to fight the urge to drool. Standing in the furo was Ranma-kun in all his naked glory. He was still frozen from the shock of being walked in on, and he had yet to register the n events.

"Ara ... " Kasumi whispered.

'Holy ... I can't ... oh wow! He's very well off with that.' Nabiki thought, her jaw hanging open loosely.

The gi wearing man quickly ended the whole scene by dousing the male Ranma with cold water and hitting the boy-turned-girl over the head with a bathing tub. "Get a grip boy!" He shouted at the neo-girl.

"Baka-oyaji!" Ranma-chan shouted before punching the man out the window and into the koi pond, providing and instant martial-artist panda. "Stupid old man, didn't have to go and hit me. Baka!"

Having witnessed the change, the Tendo family was once again thrown for a loop. Soun had fainted dead away, Kasumi had looked on confused, Akane was still grinning, and Nabiki was twitching and had an odd gleam in her eye.

Ranma noticed the three and covered herself quickly. "Heheheheh ..." she laughed nervously. "I ... I can explain everything."
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The Tendo family sat in the dining area with the two new arrivals in an awkward silence. The now male Ranma sat next to his once again human father, glancing at the three Tendo girls nervously. Kasumi wore her normal smile, Nabiki had her face tilted toward the table surface, stroking her chin yet again, and Akane sat there with a grin like the cat who at the canary.

'SO big ...' Nabiki thought. 'Those perfect ... the large ... oh THANK YOU KAMI-SAMA!!'

Ranma looked at the girls again nervously and then decided to just get it over with. "I'm Ranma Saotome, sorry 'bout this."

Soun's eye twitched a bit, then he cleared his throat. "Well, son. I'm glad to meet you."

"Ara, what happened in the bathroom Ranma-kun?" Kasumi asked cheerfully.

"Well ... um ... heh," Ranma fumbled for the words.

"I can explain that." Ranma's father said. "I am Genma Saotome, Ranma's father, and Soun's old training partner. My son and I have been on a long training journey. Our last stop was the legendary training grounds called Jusenkyo. It's a large, mist covered valley filled with many springs housing tall Bamboo poles in each of the springs. I had read about the grounds in an old guide for legendary training grounds."

"Yeah, and ya wouldn't have gotten me there if ya could read Chinese!" Ranma shouted, hitting his father again. "Baka oyaji ignored the fact the he didn't know what the guide book said and took us to a training ground full of cursed springs. He also ignored the guide's warnings an' dragged me into fightin' him on top of the poles. I had no trouble knocking him into the spring called Shonmaoniichuan, or 'Spring of Drowned Panda'. Imagine my surprise when panda pops leaps out and attacks me. I ended up letting a easy shot get through my guard cause I was freakin, and the fool ended up knockin' me into the spring aptly named, Nyaniichuan, 'Spring of drowned Girl'."

"You sound like a girl!" Genma shouted, hurling Ranma into the koi pond. "Now that should make you look the part. Stop whining boy! You have to be prepared to give your life for the Art!"

"I know that!" A soaking Ranma-chan shouted, leaping out of the pond and landing behind the large-bellied martial artist that was her father. She kicked him in the back sending him soaring into the same koi pond, producing the wet panda that had drug her in. "But my manhood was not on the offering table!" She retorted angrily. 'Too bad pops ain't got a clue.' Ranma-chan snorted. 'Otherwise, he'd have noticed my change in attitude.'

The three Tendo sisters watched with varying looks on there faces as Ranma-chan walked back into the room and sat down at the table. Her movements did nothing to keep her healthy bosom from bouncing around freely. The two younger Tendo girls were having a hard time battling the urge to drool openly.

Recovering first, Nabiki place her 'Ice Queen' mask firmly in place and spoke to the neo-girl. "Well, Ranma-chan, are you feeling better?" She drawled.

"Nah, didn't hit 'im enough yet." The redhead replied. "I'll let 'im know how unhappy I am with 'im later. He'll see his stupidity then."

"Well son, you're not too bad off." Soun declared jovially. "This are my daughters, Kasumi, she's 19, Nabiki, she's 17, and Akane, she's 16. Pick one and she'll be your new fiancée."

"Wait a minute Daddy," Nabiki said, stopping any argument. "We don't need to jump the gun on that just yet. None of us know him well enough to marry, and plus we're all underage. What do you say we spend a year getting to know Ranma? That work for you Ranma-chan?"

"Work's just fine with me," Ranma-chan agreed. "But it doesn't mean I'll try to get us outta of the agreement all together though. It may not work out. And what then? Do any of ya want to be in a loveless marriage?"

"Ara! You're right Ranma-chan," Kasumi exclaimed. "It wouldn't be fair would it?"

"Not ta you or ta me," Ranma-chan nodded. "So, we all agree?"

Nabiki, Akane, and Kasumi all nodded. They all had their own plans for Ranma-chan, and each of them let the more perverted thoughts run freely in their minds.

'I wonder how long it'll take them to figure me out?' Ranma-chan mused to herself. 'At least we're not calling a priest right now to do a cermony. I'm glad Nabiki got us out of the mess. I'll have to thank her later.'

Ranma-chan rose to her feet and smiled at the Tendo sisters. "Well, I'm off to catch some sleep. The trip was pretty long."

"Well good night Ranma-chan," The Tendo girls chorused.

"'night Kasumi, Akane, Nabiki, Tendo-san." Ranma-chan said, exiting the room and heading up the stairs.


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